165

Fanciest
Posted on February 1, 2018 by David M Willis

165 thoughts on “Fanciest”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    What kind of fancy place doesn’t have the game??

    (a quiet one with no shenanigans, probs)

    1. LookingIn

      What kind of place? Not the kind of place that is worth going to!

    2. Yumi

      There’s a decent Italian place a few towns over from me, and they have tons of TVs up. But they put stylish frames around them like they’re paintings so that you know the place is still fancy.

      They should have gone there.

      1. Tacos

        TVs in picture frames? Ooh fancy!

        1. Reltzik

          PICTURE IN PICTURE IN PICTURE FRAME!

          It’s like a Picasso painting, only with hockey brawls.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Wouldn’t a hockey brawl look more like a Pollock?

        3. Nobody

          Pft that’s clearly more surrealist than cubist, you shouldn’t even watch fancy TVs if you can’t compare it to a more fitting art style

        4. Reltzik

          …. maybe impressionist, if pictures of pictures have bad resolution?

    3. Aeron

      It’s the old, boring kind of fancy.

    4. ArcaneDarkness

      I would love to see more of such places where I live. I hate food places with turned on Vs.

      1. TheGrumpybear

        Nothing annoys me more than, when I’m having a nice meal out with myself and a book, some loud mouth jackass screaming about some sportsball…thing. Thankfully, I have an unlimited internet connection on my phone and a pair of earbuds. Youtube, don’t fail me now!

  2. Barduwulf

    Ruth Lesse: Master of romance

    1. Barduwulf

      Lessick. I meant Lessick. Dammit.

    2. Gen

      Hopefully Billie can show off her own romantic side by suggesting they relocate to where Ruth can watch the Leafs lose.

  3. butts

    i love the game

    all about that sports

    1. Foxhack

      SPORTSBALL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

      1. Doctor_Who

        WOOOO! GO TEAM HEADQUARTERED CLOSEST TO WHERE I LIVE!

        1. Nobody

          Put that object in that net or goal on the other team’s side of the field!

        2. PB

          Yeah! Score the necessary amount of points in the allotted time!

        3. Khno

          Yeah, take that, not so close headquartered team fan that I define as my lifelong enemy over people that really alienates me.

      2. Stephen Bierce

        Don’t you mean PUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?

    2. Gizen

      Amusingly, unlike most vague and generic references to ‘the game’, this one is actually followed up with more specific information that gives away which sport it actually is, as well as one of the teams playing (with the other being easily guessed just based on Ruth’s previously established tastes).

      1. foamy

        Finally Ruth expresses a hockey sentiment I can agree with.

    3. King Daniel

      Everyone loses

    4. Keulen

      Yes, I am a big sportball fan. Go sportsball team!

      1. A Scientist

        I’m pretty sure this one is a sportspuck game. I’m a fan of that, too, of course.

        1. Reltzik

          It’s still sportsball, because as people who identify sportsball enthusiasts, we either cannot tell or do not admit the capacity to tell the difference between balls, pucks, gloves, oblong pigskins, bats, and other likely-accoutrements.

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        If there’s a net, or a hoop, or a hole in the ground,
        I hope they get it in!

        And may they top their opponents numerically in the allotted time!

      3. Spaz

        oh yay. That team has the sportspuck. Now the sportspuck is over there. That man has it now. That’s an interesting development. Maybe he’ll hit it.

        ….he has indeed.

    5. Deanatay

      Get the thing between the posts! Across the line! To score the points that make you win! Unless it’s one of those games where points are bad. But no one watches those on TV! Yay sports on TV! Shout at your team, I’m sure they can hear you!

  4. Yumi

    Wooo, go Red Wings!

    1. mecklejay

      As a lifelong Michigander, I got a little tiny headrush when I saw that. I’m not even a hockey fan!

      1. Yumi

        Seriously. I’m not really a hockey fan either, but I had just been in Detroit a few hours ago, and like…it’s the Red Wings, you know?

  5. Passchendaele

    The *best* way to get thrown out of a restaurant.

    1. Doctor_Who

      2nd best. I’ve yet to see a single femur crack.

      1. Passchendaele

        woah, true! actually, the way this is going, that may happen soon. poor waiter. XD

      2. Koms

        Hockey with femurs. Mmmm.

      3. Sunny

        A femur might have cracked in the game, though.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Then Ruth would be smiling. Her love of femur destruction knows no team loyalty.

        2. Passchendaele

          *especially* referee femur destruction

    2. hof1991

      Best way to get fancy bread without paying for it.

  6. Derek

    was she aiming to get thrown out? (I don’t get the last panel)

    1. DinaWho

      From the team mentioned, ‘the game’ Billie brought up is a hockey game. Ruth is passionate about hockey (this may even be a Leafs game). She turned to see where Billie was looking and saw a call being made that she disagreed with. Vehemently.

      1. A Scientist

        As hockey fans do.

      2. Derek

        oh wow I would never have understood that

  7. chrisashtear

    After reviewing the play, the call on the ice is

    …..

    NO GOAL!!!! *skates off*

  8. DailyBrad

    The alt-text a reference to the best/only good line from the second Transformers movie?

    1. Cattleprod

      I believe this is the commonest type of reference to Revenge of the Fallen, we checked.

      1. Tacos

        That and “Give me your face!” are the two most common RotF references I think.

        1. David M Willis

          I am directly under the enemy scrotum!

        2. quix

          ^The only one of the three so far I actually remember from the film.

    2. geno

      There was a good line in a Transformers movies?

      1. Roborat

        Well, the line for the snack bar was quite short.

  9. Doopyboop

    I LOVE FANCY BREAD! AAAAA THE BREAD AT OUTBACK IS THE BEST PART OH I CAN ALMOST TAAAASTE IT!

    1. ruhrow

      OK, I loooove fancy bread, but I really dislike the Outback bread.

      1. Doopyboop

        SACRILEGE! Nah, not really, that’s fine! I know it looks weird as hell but somehow I love that strange…grey bread. And it’s cool that you don’t! How about Olive Garden’s breadsticks?

    2. Needfuldoer

      Olive Garden may be boring, “safe” Italian food, but I’ll gorge myself on their breadsticks given the opportunity.

      There’s a regional Italian chain around here that makes amazing rolls, too. They’re about the size of a tennis ball, with a thick crust that keeps the inside soft and warm.

      1. Doopyboop

        Oh god that sounds absolutely delicious. This past Thanksgiving, I had my first yeast rolls and they were AMAZING. So thick, yet soft and warm…why is bread so DELICIOUS?

      2. lightsabermario

        Of course, the real question is: Olive Garden’s breadsticks, or Red Lobster’s cheddar biscuits?

        1. Doopyboop

          Tough choice, but I’d pick Red Lobster all the way.

    3. HeySo

      I want fancy bread so bad right now. Dammit, Willis..

    4. Robbie

      Outback is the yummy brown bread, isn’t it? When I was a kid there was a steakhouse in town with small loaves of brown bread and you got to slice it yourself and spread soft butter on it. I loved it. Also you got to eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor which intrigued me even thought I tend to dislike that kind of mess.

      1. autogatos

        If it’s the same kind as Cheesecake Factory (I’ve only been to Outback once) it’s called molasses bread and it is delicious. And can sometimes be found at local bakeries/grocery stores. 😀

        1. thejeff

          This reminds of an entirely different molasses bread – Boston Brown Bread. The bread in a can.
          Actually sold canned by B&M, but easy to make as well. Traditionally it actually is steamed, not baked and was often made in old coffee cans and the like. 🙂 Sweet and soft and delicious, at least in my childhood memories. I now need to make some.

          I also remember a black Russian Rye we used to get at the little grocery near college. Haven’t found anything in that line quite so good since.

  10. King Daniel

    If they eat nothing but that bread, would it be a…Fancy Feast?

    1. Skater Girl (@syleegrrl)

      That was a rather catty thing to say

      1. Nicole

        Hmm I’m feline a pun thread comin’ on! Although it’s been an hour with no new additions so maybe that’s a fur-fetched prediction.

        1. adjudicus

          I think we should take a minute to paws and appreciate the purrfectness of these puns

        2. King Daniel

          I’m wondering if I should add another claws to my comment.

        3. PB

          If it were an Indian place, they’d have nyaan bread, right?

        4. Roborat

          You win.

        5. PB

          Thank you!

  11. Nono

    That waiter is ready to throw down.

    1. Tacos

      Clearly the waiter disagrees with Ruth’s statement.

      1. neeks

        Turns out Leafs fans are banned from the restaurant.

        1. Deanatay

          *snooty waiter silently points to sign*
          NO CANADIANS
          NO LESBIANS
          NO F**KIN LEAFS

      2. PB

        Must be a Montreal fan.

  12. C.T Phipps

    They should go to the bar where the game was on and drink soda! 🙂

  13. Keulen

    Well, I guess if they get thrown out they can go to that place with the game.

    1. chrisashtear

      you cant enjoy yourself if youre missin a hockey game, I always say.

  14. Andr3wtime

    Oh, to be young, broke, and dating again.
    “Waiter, more free water and bread please!”

    1. chrisashtear

      waiter, I will take some of that delicious outback bread to go pls.

  15. BBCC

    Oh, huh, Ruth is apparently my dad.

    1. Rex Vivat

      This is a weird place to find a lost sibling, but obviously we had the same father.

      1. BBCC

        Yaaaay, new sibling!

  16. Delicious Taffy

    I’ll say it again. Ruth is Peridot and I’ll take no arguments.

    1. Pablo360

      I guess out of the most frequent ships, Billie is more Amethyst than Pearl or Lapis, but who’s Pumpkin?

      1. King Daniel

        Fuckface, perhaps? He’s the only pet on campus (that we know of).

  17. Suzi

    Maybe im being too optimistic but i hope this ends with them figuring out you can go on dates however you like and you dont have to do it like the movies.

    But i will prep my “damn you willis” just in case

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Only prepping it now? And you only have one? I have at least five “Damn You Willis” ready to use at any given time; in pristine condition. Because you can never, ever cease your vigilance when it comes to DYW.

      In fact, I think I need to purchase a few more; considering he’s already been hinting at a particularly sad valentine strip happening this year.

  18. kitty

    here is kitty’s word of the day!

    sairas (sick)

    i think i have pneumonia

    have a nice day!

    1. missilentmurmur

      But can you sleep already? Get well

    2. Dellaran

      Parane pian!

  19. Bagge

    Date is going well!

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Define “well”.

      The adverb, not the noun. And in this particular context.

      1. Bagge

        No one is rage-murdered,
        No one has lost their femurs,
        No one is suicidal,
        No one is unconscious in alcohol poisoning,

        Aaaaand, they are both nervously and adorably reaching out to each other and in general behaving like young people with chemistry on a date rather than in the middle of a crisis. Ruth’s big fear was that they would have nothing in common outside drunk bullying/fucking in the murder cave. She seems to be wrong.

  20. Koms

    Nobody’s made a faaaace comment yet?

    1. King Daniel

      Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace it, the era of those comments is over.

      …wait

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Sir, did you pay for all those a’s you just carried out of the alphabet store?

        1. Chris Phoenix

          He’s not stealing a’s. He’s stealing wheelbarrows.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Of course he’s stealing wheelbarrows, that’s the only way he’ll be able to get all those a’s home.

        3. Roborat

          And then he is going to dump them into a hole in the back yard. Yes, that’s right, it’s an a-hole.

        4. King Daniel

          But if I took them through a security checkpoint while arriving at a tropical volcanic reef-based island, I’d have to pay a fine – a-toll.

    2. thejeff

      Stop the Faces!

  21. Reltzik

    Look, Ruth, Billie, there are lots of different types of dates.

    Right now might be a good time to aim for the sort of date where you get thrown out of ten different establishments in one night.

  22. Arianod

    It’s sports.

  23. nlips

    It’s cute because they don’t really know how dates work. Sure, you could “go out to a nice dinner” which is a sort of “traditional” dating activity. But it’s also fun — maybe MORE fun — to go places together and do things together that both of you enjoy, which means you get to just have FUN the whole time!

    The whole point is to build a library of shared experiences that help your relationship bond together, like glue.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Which is why my first date with the woman I ended up marrying was at a roller coaster park.

      (Granted, we spent the first two days in bed before going to the roller coaster park all-day date, but still.)

      1. BBCC

        My first date with my fella was at a Starbucks. Neither of us enjoy Starbucks but we do enjoy Redwall and comic books and we chatted about it for hours on end.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          About a year ago, my wife and I did a “bookstore” date; in which we searched for books based on stuff like “Book that defined your childhood” “Book about something you wish you’d learn about” and so on. Turned out to be quite interesting.

          Of course, being that we’d already been married for over four years at this point, we agreed to see if we could find the absolutely -least- appropriate choice for the “risque book” category. I think mine ended up being a DIY book of some sort.

        2. Chris Phoenix

          This is awesome and I think I’ll do it with my wife (I’m quite sure she’ll love it too). Thanks for the idea!

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Here’s the website that had the list we ended up using.

          https://mrdarcycheated.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-ultimate-bookstore-date.html

        4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Oh! Fun! Ahem.
          My first date with the woman I ended up marrying went like this:
          Walk through park up a trail with a waterfall to reach –
          A fancy Japanese restaurant (also accessible by car) where we had sushi. Then –
          A walk back through the park (since the car was on the other side), pausing at a bench next to the waterfall for talking and then impromptu makeouts.
          Makeouts led to… a bit more than that, which was fine until we got caught by other hikers and, blushing, made our way back to her car and then back to her apartment for more private sexy times.
          After a few hours of sexy times, we rearranged ourselves because we were planning to meet friends. See, she and I were already best friends for years prior to our first actual date, and said date had been kind of spontaneous, so none of our friends knew anything had happened and we wanted to keep it that way until we had time to actually talk about everything that had happened.
          Later that evening, after meeting (and, we later learned, completely failing to fool any of them that nothing had happened), we sat down to talk and ended up having more sex instead of talking.
          Best first date ever. Obviously, I suppose, since we ended up getting married three years later and have been together ever since. ^^
          Heh… I love telling that story.

        5. Yumi

          Cuuuuuuute

        6. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          ^^

      2. Roborat

        Wow, you are my hero. It is impressive enough to have sex on the first date, but to have it before? And two days? You are a god.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          To now destroy the god image a bit, this was our first face-to-face meeting, seeing that we got to know each other online. And it did take us a while to meet, what with living on different continents and all.

          So when we finally met, there was… a fair amount (to say the least) of pent-up sexual tension to release before we could do anything else.

  24. Chibz

    Barely got the chance to butter the rolls before getting kicked out.

  25. ninjazaku

    What were you saying about antagonizing each other, Billie?

  26. Nicole

    Billie: Place across the street has the game.
    Ruth: *shoving breadsticks in her purse* I have to go. You’re coming with me. I need to yell at the referee from closer to the TV

    (I’m not sorry for using this old meme format but I’m sorry for this not being a very good joke in general)

  27. DarkoNeko

    Was half expecting Ruth’s eyes to turn red

  28. Rob London

    Thanks to recent goalie interference controversies in the NHL, some of them involving the Leafs, this strip is accidentally timely!

  29. Pl0x

    I feel like Billie’s trying to avoid talking about her new dorm. She says a short, generic thing that doesn’t really anything about the dorm at all, and then moves to another topic. At first I thought the third panel was Ruth trying to get to open up more about Forest Quad, and then next panel Billie avoids the question completely. But the structure of 2nd and 3rd panels don’t fit that narrative.

    1. Pl0x

      Ruth trying to get *Billie to open up

      1. Stoodmuffin

        A fair assessment

    2. BenRG

      FWIW, I think that Billie still hasn’t come to any solid conclusions about Forest Hall yet, and the few ideas in her head (“They like me there! They really, really like me!”) she’s probably hiding because she’s worried it will make Ruth doubt their relationship.

      1. Pl0x

        I HOPE you’re right, and Billie’s not hiding things because she wants a kind of double life. That’s what I do. I mean, the hiding things part. Don’t do what I do, Billie!

  30. Stoodmuffin

    You goofy dorks

    1. Emperor Norton II

      No, no no!

      They are dorky goofs.

      The difference is very important. So important, that one day, I will learn what exactly this difference is.

  31. BenRG

    Summary of strip: Billie and Ruth would have both been happier in a sports bar!

    1. Emperor Norton II

      And that date would end with them in Ruth’s room, and Billie taking off the normal shirt she’d be wearing, to reveal a Leafs jersey underneath…

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      –Except Billie’s underage (albeit with fake ID). Plus they have a bad history with alcohol. Watching it from across the street is probably a lot safer. :/

  32. ValdVin

    There’s the pissy red-headed dandelion we’ve all come to know and love.

    (i would credit the coiner of that term but I forget who they are.)

  33. Stoodmuffin

    They are such a Fem/Butch couple it’s not even funny

    1. Danni

      ruth is butch, right?

    2. Pl0x

      I’ve been getting this vibe too, but I’ve been trying to deny it, because I don’t like separating and categorizing into masculine and feminine, which I see as related to gendering. I still do it, whether consciously or not, because it’s so ingrained in culture, society, and in me, and omg I hate it. I just want non-binary to be mainstream in everything already. 🙁 This isn’t really directed at you though, just me venting.

      1. Pl0x

        I want to be clear that I’m not advocating for complete annihilation of genders, everyone should be non-binary gender, etc. I just wish people could be themselves, like whatever they like, dislike whatever they dislike, without worrying about gender or the masc-fem spectrum.

        Even so, part of my non-binary gender identity IS worrying about gender and masc-fem, because I really want to not be at the either end of the so-called spectrum. I haven’t progressed mentally enough that I’m free of that yet.

        1. geno

          Just keep being you Plox. Internet hugs if ya need them.

    3. CJ

      By which criteria did you reach that conclusion?
      I don’t perceive any of them as more butch as the other (though Billie might have some more aspects that can be read as femme than Ruth, but still, that’s not enough to make Ruth butch ).

      1. thejeff

        I’m not sure exactly what qualifies as butch, but Ruth’s definitely taken the boy role in this date – possibly pushed by Billie taking the girl role.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          For some strange and unfathomable reason, I am reminded of this comic.

          It seems like some people might do well to attend Leslie’s gender studies class.

  34. Jonrock411

    It might just come from being a Leafs fan in Michigan but my immediate reaction was to wonder which game they’re watching.

    (Motherforking Red Wings indeed)

    1. Emperor Norton II

      It was the one where the ref should shut their face.

      1. Spaz

        …..isn’t that…..ALL of them?

  35. Dana

    Huh, nobody’s made the Red Wings sex act pun. You are all better people than I.

    1. Les Moore

      And which pun would that be, pray tell?

      1. Dana

        “Getting one’s red wings” is going down on a woman during her period.

    2. thejeff

      It actually took me a moment to parse that Red Wings was a sportsball team. Which left me horribly confused by the dialogue.

    3. Kamino Neko

      You know, if you earn your red wings while fucking your mother…

  36. Mouse

    Aw, Ruth. She’s having such a hard time being her because she’s spent so much time being broken, she feels that trying to be fixed means trying to be the ideal of normality. … Sure hope Billie knocks herself out of it before that explodes in her face.

    1. BenRG

      It’s more of a case that Clint has successfully programmed Ruth to believe that ‘being her’ is an intrinsically bad thing. Because of that, she’s afraid to let Billie see that part of her.

    2. geno

      To be fair they are kids. They’re gonna screw up. Life isn’t perfect, and Willis likes things to explode spectacularly

  37. Joe Covenant

    “That was goal”…??

    Not, “That was A goal”…??

    You (N) American types are weird! 🙂

    1. MK15

      “That was a goal” is what an American or Canadian would say. I know because I’m both. Willis typo?

  38. Ned

    I get to repeat my previous comment

    Ruth: during my experimental phase I dates lots of boys so I totally know how to treat chicks on dates.
    Billie: ah yea.. I like the sound of that.
    Ruth: ‘oh no’ I forgot my wallet. You pay for this Sweet Cheeks. Wait, my phone is ringing. Super important (aside: Toronto’s winning the game. Hell yea, **BURP**)

  39. Mimi

    I just lost the game…

    1. PB

      Oh, here, I can fix that. https://xkcd.com/391/

      1. Mimi

        Thanks 🙂

        1. PB

          Anytime! 😀

  40. Clockworkliar

    ALT TEXT REFERENCING THE BEST MOMENT OUT OF EVERY LIVE ACTION TRANSFORMERS MOVIE FOR THE WIN.

  41. Dracke

    They are perfect for each other.

  42. miina

    Lmao adorable

  43. Huehuetotl

    Tell me, where is fancy bread?

    1. David DeLaney

      In the heart, and in the head!

      –Dave, UMP ARE YOU BLIND??

  44. threePwny

    This is fluffy as fluff. Motha-fluffas.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.