236

Jacket
Posted on October 4, 2016 by David M Willis

236 thoughts on “Jacket”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Quench your thirst (for bitter revenge)

    Spite™

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Billie-tested, Ruth-approved!

      1. Orion Fury

        NOT ENOUGH LEMON-LIME!

        1. chris2315

          I WANTED ORANGE!!!

        2. Needfuldoer

          *spit take* DIET?!

        3. Deanatay

          Wait a minute!

          THIS IS SIERRA MISSED!!

          (Or worse, that new Mist Twist – aka Missed Twissed)

        4. Falling Star

          If Sierra missed, why would you bottle and drink it? That’s just gross.

        5. Roborat

          Brilliant, you win today internets.

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      the tag along didn’t get a tag.

      1. TheAnonymousGuy

        oh wait that’s sarah. whoops.

  2. AnvilPro

    Sarah’s having a great week

    1. Bagge

      She got her smiley Joyce back.

      That was all she wanted, right?

      1. Orion Fury

        <sarcasm>Let’s make things better!</sarcasm>

        1. Clif

          Oh wait till she interests Mike with her declarations.

    2. HeySo

      I can’t tell if she’s super-happy, or if her sarcasm has finally been indulged to the point of allowing her to evolve into a new form. :X

  3. Griffin

    I would be Sarah in this situation.

    1. Orion Fury

      Oddly enough, I might be Ruth. Well, if she was there. Where she is now, well yeah, not pleasant.

      1. Leorale

        I hope you will feel better

        1. Orion Fury

          Thank you. Been years, could be more. Day at a time, right?

        2. Leorale

          Right indeedy. 🙂

  4. Stephen R. Bierce

    I didn’t know you had a Rock-n-Roll record/
    Until I saw your name–on someone else’s jacket!

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      Honestly, I didn’t know who made this one till now. Some DeeJay I am.

      1. Woobie

        Saw them open for Kiss once. They were better than the one-hit wonders I expected.

        1. HMRC4EVR

          There is a Kiss Players joke in there somewhere…

      2. Andrew_C

        Prefer the original by Ian Hunter

  5. detective boomwolf

    And we’re all happy to have you Sarah!

    1. Orion Fury

      And a pox on those that aren’t!

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Both their houses?

        1. Orion Fury

          All the houses!

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          What if they upgrade to hotels?

    2. Deanatay

      *squnity Fry*

      Not sure if Sarah being sarcastic or not…

      1. Clif

        It’s Sarah, so yes. But what makes it work is the element of truth.

      2. Michael

        Yeah, I’m honestly not sure either.

      3. Scrounge

        The world may never know.

  6. shadowcell

    BILLIE: [stomping away] PUNY JOYCE…

    1. Reltzik

      Sarah (in thought bubble): You are, all of you, beneath me.

  7. Kernanator

    The jacket is possessed by a Rage Demon.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      So what kind is in the Dexter hat? Pride?

      1. Bluewind

        Courage with a bigotry shield enchantment for good measure.

    2. Gespenst

      Rage Demon? C’mon, she has a name. It’s Ruth.

    3. Orion Fury

      I wonder what Billie is Lettering in.

      1. HMRC4EVR

        69?

        1. Clif

          That was an option?

        2. Roborat

          Hmm, apparently I went to the wrong school.

        3. Orion Fury

          I…don’t know if I’d read that.

  8. NinjaNick

    Happy Sarah scares me a bit.

    1. a snow ʍousɐ

      I think she’s only faking happiness to be sarcastic, if that’s any consolation.

      1. Orion Fury

        The eyes do see to have a bit in common with Joyce’s in panel 4-5, imo.

      2. miados

        faking happiness is surprisingly easy honestly.

    2. Rukduk

      I think Sarah’s faking happiness out of combined sarcasm and panic at Billie’s declaration.

      1. Orion Fury

        That’s my read as well.

      2. SgtWadeyWilson

        Panic at the Discord?

      3. Roborat

        Yea, I interpreted that as mega level sarcasm.

    3. butting

      I have a sudden need to see Sarah rocking the triangle smile.

  9. a snow ʍousɐ

    Sarah is all for misanthropy

  10. Fart Captor

    Oof.

    🙁

    1. Orion Fury

      Right in the gut indeed.

  11. achallenger

    cmon, does this look like the face of a maniac to you?

    1. Reltzik

      Can’t tell, too busy running away.

      1. Orion Fury

        I grabbed a pair of Amazi-Skates™ to get away.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          How come everybody’s running?

        2. inqntrol

          Fitness&Fear.

        3. Deanatay

          Rule #1: Cardio.

        4. Orion Fury

          Rule #2: More Cardio

        5. Falling Star

          I don’t know what they’re doing, but I’m flying away.

  12. Dave

    Probably just as well Becky didn’t come today, lest that locker-stuffing fetish she floated regarding Billie a few strips back solidify into a permanent kink.

    1. Orion Fury

      She’s got enough on her plate already.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Getting stuffed into a locker full of hats. That actually sounds kinda fun depending on the material of the hats.

        1. Orion Fury

          Mayhap a locker full of what’s under the hats, or is that too weird?

        2. Scar Man!!!

          that’s sounds like a serial killer’s trophy collection

      2. Deanatay

        I think you meant “She’s got enough on her _pate_ lately.”

        1. merbrat

          Hats off to you!

  13. Bluewind

    Gah! Sarah doesn’t smile… She must be possessed! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE SHE EATS YOUR FACE!!! O_O

    1. Reltzik

      Nonono. You got that wrong.

      BEFORE SHE EATS YOUR FAAAAAAAAAACE!

      1. Orion Fury

        It’s those extra “A”s that give it that punch.

        1. Bluewind

          I’m pretty sure Willis would want to punch ME if I added those extra “A”s XD

        2. Orion Fury

          And I feel like I’ve missed a sexual innuendo.

        3. Falling Star

          A huge one.

        4. Orion Fury

          Damn.

  14. Thevoiceoftreason

    Billie is sexiest when she’s angry.

    1. Orion Fury

      It looks like her ponytail got bigger. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

      1. Marisa Mockery

        It expands when angry, like a cat’s tail.

        1. Orion Fury

          Ah, helps I also like cats then.

      2. DinaWho

        That’s why her ponytail’s so big. It’s full of anger.

        1. Orion Fury

          It’s intensity!

    2. Bagge

      Ruth agrees with you

    3. Deanatay

      Somewhere, in a hospital room, Ruth just got a lady boner.

  15. Pat

    Is Sarah being sarcastic? I am uncertain.

    1. Orion Fury

      I’m going with yes, and it’s out of fear.

    2. Joe Archer

      Sarah hates talking about teenage drama, but she enjoys watching teenage drama unfold. She should have brought popcorn.

    3. Fart Captor

      I was too, but I’m pretty sure she is. There’s definitely some panic going on in her face.

    4. Idontcarenomore

      Sarah is not physically afraid. I base that on the way she grabbed the ball bat and beat Ryan with it after he made his attempt on Joyce.

      Sarah did the right thing turning in her drugged out roomie before that roomie od. She turned her in to her father, not the school, which let the roomie a chance to come back after squared away. And she took a lot of crap for it from her dorm floor. One reason why she is so damn cynical. do the right thing and get heat for it. So she’s not mentally afraid either.

      She is being sarcastic. Think about the reason she Is there. She told Joyce they’d try to make it better a little at a time. Joyce held her to it, so walk with us today, remember, ‘a little at a time’.

      So, first social attempt, walking to class with friends: encounter a detoxing, depressed, and angry Billie. Yup, that’s sarcastic reaction.

  16. Mkvenner

    Well played Willis, well played.

  17. miados

    excuse me i need to talk to billie.

    1. Orion Fury

      I’ll support you. From over there. Not there, over there there.

      1. miados

        well hurting someone until they want to die sort of has no impact as a threat against someone who has tried meaning simply i don’t feel she threatened.

        1. Orion Fury

          And I can’t parse your comment, or else this would be a slightly witty and/or crass comment instead.

        2. ety

          “Someone who has tried to die does not feel threatened by death, so I wouldn’t feel threatened by Billie”
          or in other words perhaps
          “Her threat doesn’t bother me”

          ?? At least that’s how I’m reading it ??

        3. ety

          perhaps “scare” instead of “bother” in that second one

        4. Emperor Norton II

          As far as I can tell, miados is trying to say that Joyce would not feel scared of a threat like Billie’s, because one week ago, she had a loaded gun to her face; and that is a hell of a lot more threatening.

        5. Orion Fury

          But he seemed to be talking about himself talking to Billie. But yeah, gun > fists.

      2. Deanatay

        I’ll support you! *pulls out world map, points to Madagascar* from here.

    2. Reltzik

      I’ll visit you in the hospital. Best if you sort out your living will first. Are you in Oregon or another death-with-dignity state?

    3. Charlie Spencer

      You’ll have to catch her after her 2:30 appointment to kick puppies at the animal shelter. Joyce was just her warm-up.

  18. Bluewind

    Did Joyce’s eyeballs fall out and have to be replaced? Did they retreat into her head from fear? Why do the tiny holes where her eyes use to be look green/black? Can I show her a picture of a kitty or puppy or a kitty playing with a puppy?

    1. Orion Fury

      A kitty beating up a puppy may bring Sarah joy. Joyce, on the other hand…

    2. Joe Archer

      Since Joyce usually sports a look of wide-eyed innocence and good humor, giving her a wide-eyed look of terror has to be different. Reducing those blue irises to small dots in a sea of non-descript background (some of it white if you look closely) does convey this rabbit-before-the-snake look.

  19. Bagge

    So glad to see Billie feeling better.

    No really, I’m with Walky. This DOES seem like the high school Billie we have heard about. And lashing out at busybody Joyce, cruel as it is, is a step forward from catatonic.

    1. Orion Fury

      A step away from suicide, in any direction, is good?

      1. Reltzik

        “I’ve decided to go with omnicide. It feels more meaningful. I’ll get around to me once I’ve dealt with everyone else.”

        1. Orion Fury

          I was going to make a Star Wars reference, but partway through typing it, it seemed a bit offensive, so I’ll just hide it here.

        2. Willoughby Chase

          Blackadder approves: kill everyone.

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          “I’m too busy trying to find a way to destroy the universe.”

          ‘The whole universe? Isn’t that a bit drastic?’

          “I prefer to think of it as suicide on a grander scale.”

          – Cerebus (not Cerberus)

    2. Fart Captor

      I dunno, it feels better and worse to me. She’s emoting, but it feels like she’s being angry to avoid crying, and I don’t know if that’s good.

      I really hope it’s just too raw right now, not a sign she’s going to start pushing her friends away.

      1. Leorale

        She’ll probably vascillate like crazy between hating at others and hating at herself.

        People do get crankier when they’re juuuust starting to recover from physical stuff in hospitals. (Before, they didn’t have the energy to be angry. It’s really hard on the nurses, but anger about little things is actually a sign that the patient is starting to get a bit better.) However, I don’t know whether that really applies for mental stuff.

      2. Bluewind

        It can’t help her that she is probably detoxing with all this going on.

        1. Bagge

          Ouch, yeah. Life is just peachy for Billie.

        2. Scar Man!!!

          I was learning about detox in Psychology class. Both of them should really be in a hospital while they’re doing this. Alcohol withdrawal can actually have deadly effects, and they should have a doctor around to administer treatment if something goes wrong

        3. Leorale

          Why wouldn’t Billie drink the moment she got out of the hospital?

        4. Fart Captor

          She was with other people who would’ve stopped her, and spent the night in Ruth’s booze-free room.

          So she may never have had the chance.

        5. Leorale

          Ooh, yeah, then that could totally be happening.

      3. Orion Fury

        It’s also been less than 24 hours since Ruth got taken to the campus hospital. Man, feels like months, or at least weeks since then. How time flies.

    3. Idontcarenomore

      Billie is an alcoholic, who hasn’t had a drink that we know of in 24 hours. I think she is trying to quit. And its not something she could be trying to do alone.
      Of course she is going to attack anyone who comes close to her right now trying to officer their sympathy.
      She needs them, but can’t be around them right now. She is angry. I hope the anger gets her to get help for her drinking.

  20. newllend(henryvolt)

    Where to start, first off surprisingly jacket looks better on her than Ruth. Second off I kind of did expect that from her considering I have no idea why Joyce thought it was a good idea bring that up. Thirdly someone is obviously going through the stages of acceptance.

    Oh and also when the hell did Joyce give Ruth the name Ruthless? I feel like if she was still around and she heard her call her that she would have smacked the taste out of her mouth.

    1. Orion Fury

      I recall Ruth overhearing the nickname at some point. Though my name isn’t Scotty, so I could be wrong.

    2. Reltzik

      Ruth knows that’s her nickname, and is happy with the show of fear and respect.

      … well, she was, when happiness was on her repertoire.

    3. Fart Captor

      Everyone on the floor except Billie has called her that since the first floor meeting, even to her face.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Hm, well I guess I have what you call a selective memory. But seriously I’m disappointed in myself for not remembering this I mean I’m the same guy who waited like a year-and-a-half to throw that one Hitler joke back in Hank and Carols face.

  21. Tomas

    I can’t imagine why the school didn’t want her as a cheerleader.

    1. Orion Fury

      She’s got pep, yes she does.

      1. Charlie Spencer

        She’s got pep, but wants a buzz.

    2. Reltzik

      With those lungs? Damn straight they would want her as a…

      … oh, wait, no, someone with a DUI is someone liable to be drunk on the job and miss a catch. That’s where broken backs come from.

      1. Leorale

        IIRC the school declared that a cheerleader with a DUI would tarnish its image. I can’t imagine how an audience person would find out if they weren’t told and weren’t a stalker, so your reasoning kinda makes more sense.

        1. Dean

          Billie insisted on substituting whiskey bottles for pompoms.

        2. Willoughby Chase

          The Whiskey Pom-Pom is a mixer that needs to be invented!

          (And not given to Ruth or Billie obv)

  22. Reltzik

    …. can’t tell if Sarah’s being sarcastic or not.

    1. Orion Fury

      [Insert Repetitive Comment Here]

    2. Teddae

      You know her sarcasm level is off the charts if you cant even tell if she is or not

  23. Mav

    I think people should be more careful the next time they tell someone that they couldn’t possibly have anything to be depressed about – you never know what’s going on with folks, especially if you don’t bother to ask.

    Joyce may not have been in the same situation, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what pain feels like…

    1. Orion Fury

      True, but when you’re where Billie is right now, empathy for others is hard to conjure up.

      1. Mav

        This I understand – she’s in a pretty shitty place right now. I don’t think I was ever comfortable with “normal” bully Billie, but I can’t lie and say I’ve never said something shitty to someone else when I was really depressed.

        1. Orion Fury

          And that’s good. Well, you, not Billie.

        2. Fart Captor

          Yeah, I’m hoping Walky’s wrong, and this isn’t her returning to her old self from the very start of the comic. She’d already realized she didn’t want to be that person anymore.

          I’m hoping that when the dust clears she’ll be back on the path she’d started on before Alice showed up.

    2. hof1991

      Comforting comments often feel like salt upon a wound. People say them because they think they need to say something.

      1. Drake

        Comforting people is generally a Catch 22 scenario. If you comfort them, it’s salt on the wound. If you DON’T comfort them, they’ll probably just fester in resentment that you clearly don’t give a shit.

        1. Leorale

          It’s usually better to say something than to say nothing at all. (With some exceptions, like “get over it”, don’t say that one.) When in doubt, it’s totally fine to say “I don’t know what to say and I care about you.”

  24. Orion Fury

    There are some day’s where it’s annoying being a guy.

  25. Bagge

    No complaining, Sarah, you wanted to be there for the fun stuff!
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/aftermath/

  26. Plasma Mongoose

    Pavement Pizza: Made with joy(ce)

    1. Reltzik

      “Ow… that’s a good thing…. really… I can fix this…. my superpower is neatly picking sausage off of the pizza…”

      1. Orion Fury

        Villain.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      No pavement subs?

  27. yo.

    C’mon Billie, now you’re just wallowing. At least your friends are trying; most people in your position just get the “get over it and be happy” talk.

    1. Orion Fury

      True, but most main characters here aren’t assholes, so she gets people trying to help her out instead. The fools.

    2. Fart Captor

      …umm, she’s depressed. Even if she’s able to accept their expressions of sympathy at face value, and in a state where that would have an effect, demanding a that depressed person show a positive reaction to sympathy is shitty.

      Especially since on top of depression, she’s probably still detoxing, and her also depressed, suicidal girlfriend is in a very tenuous position right now, so she absolutely has every right to be cranky even though her friends are there for her.

      1. Orion Fury

        What’s next, giving her a potato?

      2. Bluewind

        Thank you F.C. Most people don’t get that anger is a part of depression and we can stop wallowing and get over stuff. The fact Billie is in a place where she is even able to go to classes instead of taking a week or so off is amazing.

        1. Bluewind

          *can’t stop wallowing not can stop wallowing

        2. Orion Fury

          I read the second part of that sentence as if it was from the point of view of the person with the erroneous opinion.

        3. Roborat

          Is she going to classes, or going to visit Ruth?

      3. Leorale

        Yep. Sucks for Joyce and Walky, but Billie is reacting this way because she’s very depressed, her brain chemistry is a mess, she doesn’t have much control over her immediate reactions.

        My favourite saying about this (from my uncle who has bipolar) is “It’s not always my fault, but it is always my responsibility.” Billie is reacting poorly because she’s in a very tough situation and is depressed, which is not a moral failing, it’s not her fault. However, she is the one doing it, and it’s her job to fix her actions someday — hopefully someday she’ll be able to not say mean stuff, and she’ll make proper amends for how she lashed out when she was depressed.

      4. Emperor Norton II

        FC, you and I often disagree on small things.

        This is not one of those times. This is one of the times we really agree on the big thing, the Big Picture.

        Being depressed is an illness. That means one needs treatment. Being told one is wallowing is the absolutely furthest away from treating it.

        Relevant Robot Hugs strip: http://www.robot-hugs.com/helpful-advice/

        1. Orion Fury

          Wait, people are allowed to disagree with you?

          My life’s a lie.

          What’s next, that there’s people who don’t like Cerberus?

        2. Emperor Norton II

          I like to let them think they are allowed, right up until the point where it’s been made clear that they are not.

        3. butting

          Point? Wouldn’t a blade be more emperorly?

          (unless you’re the sort of emperor to maintain mime pits instead of guillotines, in which case, absolutely your emperorishness, you’re definitely right your emperorishness, you have all the best ideas your emperorishness)

        4. Emperor Norton II

          I will neither confirm nor deny the existence of mime pits in my dungeons.

        5. butting

          Say no more, say no more.

          *wink*

        6. Regalli

          This is why the best emperors are Emperor Nortons.

        7. Roborat

          Even better when we have two of them.

        8. 3oranges

          Cerberus is kind of a waste of time. Guarding a place everyone has to go, and gets kidnapped the one time a hero tries to take someone back out. Anatomically confusing too.

          There’s a great and insightful poster named after it, though.

        9. Nightsbridge

          I was mad and then I was suddenly not.

      5. trlkly

        I agree she is depressed, that it’s an illness, and that depression can make you angry. It’s all understandable.

        But I do think people are glossing over that she’s threatening violence. And I know that’s where I draw the line. I would have to immediately leave the situation lest I made the situation worse.

        As someone who has had to deal with an anger disorder, I cannot condone that step between anger and violence. It was why I had to actually ignore most of how Ruth was early on, and pretend that it was all an exaggeration of what was “really” happening.

        I have a ton of sympathy for Billie, but there’s no way I could even walk with her after her saying that. I would say something, at the very least. I can’t not.

        1. Leorale

          @trlkly Agreed on all counts. You should not be expected to tolerate people yelling at you our threatening you or otherwise lashing out (even when you know it’s part of their illness). They have a right to feel their feels, but you have the right not to hang out and take the fallout. Leaving so you don’t make things worse, or leaving for your own health, that would be totally reasonable and fine of you.

        2. Fart Captor

          I can’t speak for others, but the reason I glossed over it was because Joyce is partly to blame here.

          Yes, Billie should not have screamed at her like that, but she had just told Walky she didn’t want to talk. When someone in an ordinary bad mood says that, you should respect their wishes, and expect them to get more upset if you don’t. When someone who is depressed says it, its even more critical you listen.

          The entire reason she told Walky she didn’t want to talk is because she is already struggling with her emotions and her outburst in panel 4 is exactly what she was trying to avoid. On top of ignoring that Billie did not want to talk about it, Ruth is absolutely the worst subject Joyce could have brought up, basically jabbing her right in the rawest nerve possible.

          Yes, it sucks, and she owes Joyce an apology. And no, Joyce doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, and I’m really glad she doesn’t seem to have taken it personally. But if she doesn’t learn from Walky’s example, and start listening more and pushing less, then they’d both be better off if she stayed away from Billie for a while.

      6. Cerberus

        This. Plus, she’s heavily blaming herself for Ruth’s situation and sees her being in the hospital as a failure on her part and a sign of her utter inability to save one.

        Like, one of the big flaws of the codependence of her relationship with Ruth was that she staked all her self-esteem on being able to “save” Ruth with the power of her love, but it didn’t “work” and Ruth still needed to go to hospital.

        And it probably doesn’t help that Billie doesn’t yet believe that hospitals and therapy can help and sees them as more of a sign of failure and a punishment. So in her eyes, the fact that Ruth and her are signed up for that is just proof of being a “fuckup” and now “everyone knows”, which is probably hitting her insecurities and pain from her drunk driving accident pretty hard since that was another instance where she “fucked up” and “everyone knew”.

      7. yo.

        She may be depressed, but she’s still wallowing AND being a bad friend. Perhaps its because I was never coddled through my depression, but I was taught that the world doesn’t stop because I feel bad. You pick yourself up, put on a brave face, and keep walking.

        And whatever you do, you DON’T take your shit out on other people. Especially if these are the same people you’re going to be sobbing to in the wee hours of the night when your emotions finally bottom out. If you do, don’t be surprised when you’re finally ready and no one’s there.

        1. Bluewind

          Depression is like cancer of the soul. It really sucks, most of us need treatment to survive, and it varies from person to person. It’s why there are so many medications and treatment for it; no one treatment works for everyone because there are so many factors that cause it. There’s no z pack for depression and because there are so many causes and factors, nobody experiences depression exactly the same way. It can be a roller coaster, a constant weight that makes you unable to feel happy, an express way to the pit of sadness at the slightest provocation, a feeling of explosive anger that you fight to keep in check, feeling like someone drained all the drive and emotion out of you until there’s nothing left and you don’t feel like even moving, and everything in between and more. While pushing forward along with whatever treatment you are getting might have helped you, it won’t help all of us.

          Just look at the depressed people in this comic alone. Ruth, Billy, Joyce, Amber, and Dana (and maybe Ethan and Jocelyne) all are expressing depression differently and they are all wrote by one person! Surely you can see that we all can’t have the same soul cancer by that?

          Random note: Men are more likely to express depression with anger, but that doesn’t mean that women don’t do it too.

        2. yo.

          Alright, please stop sending me paragraphs explaining to me how depression works. I’ve had it. For longer than most my age, and without help. I just mentioned it subtly that because no one likes that wad who constantly crows about their problems. You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know firsthand.

          Just like I know that being a depressed, toxic asshole is still being a toxic asshole. Even people who genuinely love you can only take so much BS. “But I’m depressed!” is just an excuse that only has so much mileage before people start to question the validity of even having you around.

          Please remember that these are fictional characters, with infinite time and patience to fret about Billie’s well-being. Real people don’t have that and expecting otherwise (unconditional love, basically) is deeply unfair to everyone involved.

        3. Bluewind

          My god! The woman just got out of the hospital after her girlfriend became suicidal yesterday! Of course she’s gonna be upset and short and antisocial. If her friends cut her out of their lives that fast then they aren’t good friends to begin with. She’s also probably detoxing off alcohol which makes people sick and moody in and of itself. If she was put on antidepressants, it will take 3 days for them to start to work and 3 weeks average to get in her system and that’s if the first one they put her on works for her. This is physical and psychological hell on her.

          * trigger warning
          When I read what you said, I was pissed so I waited and came back later. I’m glad I did because holy hell that’s messed up! Living with depression and having people push you to just get over it sucks. I know.

          I had the brave face and the smile. I socialized and worked at a job. I laughed and told jokes. But I was also had crippling depression. Dad said grit your teeth and keep going so I did. Some days I wouldn’t eat or shower. Whenever I seen a sharp knife, my first thought was always wanting to take my life with it. Every day was painful. And I kept going… until one day I didn’t. I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. It was pills washed down with vodka. Luck and my best friend becoming overwhelmed with a bad feeling is the only reason I’m alive. I know I wasn’t a good friend those first couple weeks, but I was out of my god damn mind! I don’t remember much of it.

          Out of like a dozen friends, two stayed my friends. The rest said they couldn’t handle it, I was a drama queen, or I did it for attention. I got asked why I did it that way and not a more sufficient way (I didn’t want to make a mess for people to have to clean up). One who left me demanded to see my hospital record because she didn’t even believe it had happened at all! Most of my family doesn’t know. My dad was pissed at me. My sister gave me Christian memorabilia. My nephew said it was bullshit. My boyfriend at the time ended up asking out a nurse in the ER and dated her for 2 months (even moving in together!) before they broke up and my dumb ass took him back.

          I’m about to turn 31 in a few days. I got on meds, see a therapist, and get sun and exercise when I can. I came out as bisexual which helped my depression some, but the biggest thing was when I quit trying to pretend I was Christian and later accepted the fact that I was a de facto atheist. Christianity and all its branches never worked for me (I was arguing with a preacher when I was a little kid even) and finally admitting it out loud was such a burden off my shoulders that I got a tattoo to celebrate the fact. The girl that saved my life is still my best friend. She gets depressed sometimes, but that doesn’t make her bad any more than it does me; it makes us humans who live with depression.

          * end of trigger warning

          PS: Yes I talk a lot and yes I’m long winded, but I would rather say what I have in mind than something that is 5 words or less for the sake of brevity. That is not against forum rules, hurting anyone, or breaking the forum. However, just as I have a right to comment and reply, you have a right to ignore what I say if you prefer.

        4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          8~~-({

    3. Bluewind

      …

      1. Orion Fury

        ? Silent stare?

        1. Bluewind

          Stunned silence with inability to create a meaningful reply

        2. Orion Fury

          Second guess.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Good thing Fart Captor and Reltzik managed to overcome that stunned feeling.

    4. Reltzik

      That’s not wallowing. That’s “don’t pick at my scab, it hurts!”

      Opening up… at some point… on one’s own initiative, when one is ready… is an important part of healing.

      But another important part is just picking your ass up and finding the strength to get through each day, and that’s what Billie’s focused on right now.

      1. Leorale

        +1

        It’s good of Joyce and Walky to gently show that they care. However, Billie is not there yet, she’s just trying to put one foot in front of the other. She might remember it later and be glad she has thoughtful friends, but right now, she’s not capable of receiving their kindness, so here we are.

  28. Scar Man!!!

    getting involved in (what you feel is) other people’s drama. I know that feeling, Sarah

  29. Bagge

    Sarah: “I like the cut of your jib, Billie.”
    Billie: “I can show you a close encounter with the concrete to you know.”
    Sarah: “Atta girl!”

    1. Orion Fury

      Get jib cuts all around. Except Mike, he’s not there yet, hopefully. And Mary. Ross. Blaine…

  30. Cass

    Come on, Billie, Ruth’s not even out of the hospital yet. It’s way too soon to start thinking about pounding other girls.

    1. Orion Fury

      Studying up?

  31. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Well, at least Sarah’s happy, I guess…

  32. Emperor Norton II

    So, several people wonders if Billie’s basically having abstinence symptoms going on. And if she drank again last night after leaving Ruth.

    I don’t think she did.

    Because she’s worried sick about Ruth. Remember “yesterday” (comic time, not real time) when she was finally told how Ruth was being suicidal, when that finally sunk in? She stopped worrying about everything. About people finding out about her and Ruth*. About the problem of Becky coming back. About stupid, stupid Mary. Nothing mattered to her except keeping Ruth alive!

    Remember, at her core, Billie wants to be a Helper. She’s not even secretly or reluctantly helping, like Carla and Sarah. She revels in it openly when she can Fix Problems. Billie Jenningsworth, problem solver. That’s how she sees herself when she can see herself in a positive light at all. That’s the Billie I want to be there. And I wish she could be able to see what she’s been doing (or at least trying to do) this weekend the way I do it right now.

    Because for the entire weekend, while she’s certainly been upset about herself, she’s nevertheless been more concerned about Ruth, more wondering how she can fix Ruth’s problems (including cleaning out all evidence from Ruth’s room). The reason she did not think about the problem of Becky coming back to her bed was most likely because her mind was in fact preoccupied with thinking how she could somehow help Ruth out. Probably movie-style fantasies involving kicking some serious ass were included.

    True, at least she’s partially motivated by her feelings for Ruth, let’s not deny that part. But even if her “help Ruth out” fantasies didn’t ever include ending in sex, she would still have done anything she could if she had felt sure it would actually have helped Ruth.

    So I’m not sure she’s been drinking at all for the entire weekend. There’s nothing (that I can remember) that’s indicated she’s been particularly drunk, at least not the levels she’s been going to lately with Ruth. And if she’d been drinking at all, she’d probably drink to those very levels. There would be no moderation about it. None. At all.

    Heck, I think that if she hadn’t had Ruth to worry about while feeling like this, she might as well have tried drinking herself to death this weekend instead of spending all her time trying to look after Ruth without being found out.

    *True, she did worry about that later… But not for her own sake! She couldn’t have cared less about her own sake. What she was worried about was how this getting blown open would affect Ruth and Ruth alone.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Oops, forgot to close those italics… Damn.

    2. Fart Captor

      It… it’s far too late for Billie to be feeling abstinence symptoms.

      Withdrawal symptoms perhaps, but not abstinence.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Well, if she had been drinking yesterday (comic time), it would not be too late, would it?

        1. Fart Captor

          Well, I was doing wordplay based on how abstinence usually refers to staying away from the thing to begin with, and she has definitely not done that. Though I suppose if she stopped now, it could still be considered abstaining from alcohol, so it probably worked better in my head.

          Also your failure to close italics seems to be spreading.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Ohhhhhhh…. My brain work no good right this now.

          Also, I thought you did that in sympathy.

        3. Fart Captor

          No, if only “withdrawal” had been italicized, as I intended, it probably would’ve been clearer what I was being pedantic about.

        4. ety

          Failure to close tags period has been awfully common…

          dammit

        5. Orion Fury

          OVERLY LONG GAG

        6. Roborat

          Just write over it with an erasable marker . . .

    3. Fart Captor

      I almost agree with your assessment, but considering how quitting cold-turkey went last time, I dunno. Staying on the wagon is not going to be easy for her, for certain.

      I also kinda think most if not all bets are off, until she feels Ruth’s situation isn’t so precarious. Keeping her safe from being sent home to “Sir” is probably the biggest thing on her mind right now

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Oh, I would -not- make a bet that she’ll manage to stay off, that’s for sure. Nor would I make a bet that she’d fall off.

        And in fact, I’m thinking that the really important part might be when she does feel Ruth’s situation is no longer so precarious. Maybe -that-* will be when she’ll allow herself to slide back into her own problems…

        *Italics problem solved forever!

  33. Tan

    On the upside, now that Walky and Sarah have had this bonding moment, Walky now has a black friend.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/store-bought/

    1. Orion Fury

      Which means he’s clearly not racist?

  34. Dean

    What would happen if someone wore Ruth’s jacket and Dina’s hat at the same time? Would the two garments fight?

    1. Needfuldoer

      You’d get a ninja that specializes in femur removal.

      1. Orion Fury

        I’d read that.

    2. Roborat

      Probably turn into a bad Kill la Kill parody.

  35. Eldritch Gentleman

    Sarah is like a friggin Mazoku who feeds on despair and pain of others…

    1. Falling Star

      So, Mike.

  36. Idontcarenomore

    I think that Billie is trying to quit, alone. And that is dangerous, she seems to be an alcoholic, functioning, but still a drunk.

    She seems to realize that whatever she thought about their ‘pact’ together, Ruth was actually serious. And it really has scared her. She doesn’t know what to do, but wants to do what she can.

    If she is, in fact an alchoholic, she doesn’t seem to have had a drink all night in the hospital, she may be going into withdrawal, it does not take long with a true drunk.

    So she’s detoxing, depressed, scared and angry. She lashed out, because she had to.

    As for Sarah, that is not fear. Sarah demonstrated her physical bravery with the ball bat on Ryans head, and her moral bravery with her druggie roommate. That is flat out sarcasim: “oh goodie, you talk me into coming out for walk to class with friends – look I’m being social. And guess what, here’s Billie gonna pound us into the sidewalk.” Yeah Sarah does not like confrontation because she doesn’t like being around people, not because she is afraid of them.

  37. newllend(henryvolt)

    Truth is Billie is right, there are only two people right now who can either be relate or break through to Bellie her and that’s Walky and Becky.

    Walky even though just like everybody else wouldn’t be able to know where Billie is coming from but is still more than anyone else wanting to support her, but he’s still keeping his distance which he can’t do forever if he really wants to help although unfortunately he doesn’t know how to help her.

    Becky can play a key role in this since she was in a similar situation like this with someone very close to her so we know why she would be invested in this. I’m thinking maybe they can have an intervention for Billie with these two.

    1. Fart Captor

      Right now, Walky backing off feels like exactly the right thing to do. Billie is not at all ready to talk, which is why she snapped at Joyce. It’s hard enough for her to just function right now.

      Billie has already had an intervention, but depression doesn’t just go away. It’s going to take time, and patience. Walky will no doubt be there when she’s ready.

  38. Keulan

    That is some Ruth-level threats there. I think Joyce may be onto something with that jacket being magic.

  39. exilon1

    Sara finally getting to experience the real joys of having friends.

  40. Needfuldoer

    Walky knows Billie well enough to tread lightly and back off early. In their own way, they just reinforced that they’re there for each other.

    Joyce just got another valuable life lesson: you can’t solve every problem with brute-force optimism.

  41. Charles Phipps

    No, Billie, Joyce doesn’t know what it’s like to be terrified for a loved one to be possibly sent back to an unsafe place. To have the entire world seemingly against you and helpless.

    Not at all.

    1. BenRG

      In Billie’s defence, Joyce and Becky have hardly been broadcasting what’s going on, even after the attempted kidnap. In any case, something tells me that she and Ruth had been a bit too wrapped up in their own concerns to do more than offer a facade of awareness of what was going on outside their room.

  42. JasonAW3

    Oh no… It’s the Ruthening!!!

  43. Abstract

    I know this is incredibly off topic, but I’ve been rereading shortpacked, and the last few panels of this strip intrigued me. http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1719

    Does anyone know if this is from a different comic, and if so, could you direct me to it?

    1. FireSTK

      For that you’ll have to dig into the walkyverse fully. that means Roomies, It’s Walky and Joyce and Walky. I think Joyce’s wedding was behind a paywall though. It’s been a few years since I looked.

  44. Falling Star

    I thought that was Walky at the end there at first. Boy, was I confused.

  45. hof1991

    I see Sarah’s comment as a change of topic. In my family if a discussion gets too heated, someone always says “How about dem Packers” so we know to move on. Plus we can talk Packers for days at a time.

  46. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: “There she is”. Oof. From what we know about Billie, she’s had a past of being the big shot in High School, but this must sting something fierce, because she has always tried to hide her non-normative aspects so that she couldn’t ever be “that girl” that everyone points out in the bad way.

    And the thing is that she has been “that girl” before. When she crashed her car while drunk and was stripped of her cheer captaincy, her position on the yearbook, lost her secret girlfriend, and likely became the target of a number of whispered rumors on campus. So this probably feels like her worst nightmare happening all over again.

    Panel 2: SO MANY PROPS FOR WALKY!

    Like, I’ve harshed on Walky a lot over the last couple of months, so I really want to highlight how awesome he is in this panel, because he is literally doing everything right.

    He checks in on his depressed person’s mental state in a calm non-judgmental manner, showing his continued care over their well being. And then, when she establishes a hard boundary of “I don’t want to talk about it”, he fully respects that, but in a way that implies that he’s there if that state of affairs ever changes. Like, this is so respectful of social boundaries and consent and just exactly how to do shit like this.

    And that’s a hard thing to do, because it’s rough supporting someone who is depressed and has a habit of self-destruction who also has a lot of problems recognizing or talking about that stuff. Like, you don’t want them to kill themselves while stiff-arming everyone away, but you also don’t want to barrel over them and rob them of their sense of agency when they are struggling over a sense of control in their life.

    And that’s especially true of someone like Billie who has historically been deeply in denial about being depressed, having an addiction problem, or making self-destructive life decisions (like say driving drunk). So yeah, so many props to Walky for doing everything right here.

  47. Cerberus

    Panel 3: And Joyce walks right into the danger of pushing when someone in pain sets that boundary.

    Like, her intentions are so so good and show how much she’s grown on queer issues in such a short time. Complimenting the jacket and the cuteness of that connection. It’s understandable what Joyce is trying to do.

    But pushing against someone’s stated boundary is still rude and Billie already stated that she doesn’t want to talk about shit.

    Panel 4: And it’s because she’s pissed off. She’s pissed off at Carla. She’s pissed off at Mary. She’s pissed off at the system that is taking over for what she interprets as her “failure” to magically cure Ruth’s depression with the power of her love.

    And most of all she’s pissed at herself. Pissed at herself for “failing” to cure Ruth with love. Pissed at herself for being depressed and not having a way to escape her self-hatred in new relationships or booze. Pissed at herself for being exposed and her secret life all up in everyone’s business. Pissed at herself for existing.

    That last line of her rant is everything. She feels pummeled down and beating up by life and she does want to die. Like, Ruth’s much more apparent suicidal ideation covered up the fact that Billie is just as depressed and has just as much of a wish for death as Ruth does. She just works harder to try and hide it because that’s how she was trained to handle life.

    Hide the pain, never let it show, keep your non-normative aspects in a closet no one ever finds out about lest they turn on you. Cling to love with all your heart even if you know it can’t save you.

    And that’s the ball that’s been sitting in Billie’s throat. Why she didn’t want to talk about it. Because right now, her talking about it is rage and hurt and pain and angry and she doesn’t want to snap and yell at people like this if she can avoid it.

    And that’s the danger of pushing like that and why Joyce straight up walked into that and why you should respect people’s “I don’t want to talk about it” even if it is hard.

    1. trlkly

      Billy’s boundary was that she didn’t want to talk about how she felt. So Joyce talked about something else, and then Billie lashed out in a way that is only barely tolerable because of her depression.

      Do not do what people did to Becky and look for reasons to hate on characters. Joyce did not do anything wrong.

  48. Cerberus

    Panel 6: Haunted jacket. Be careful Joyce or Billie will harvest your femurs in the middle of the night.

    Also, oof, that line by Walky, noting how similarly she’s acting to how she used to act… Damn, that means high school Billie, outside the crowd of popularity she hid in was angry and suffering all the time, snapping at loved ones and turning it all inward like this.

    That she’s been in this pain for years with little recourse because she didn’t even have the language to understand what is happening and viewing anything that could actually help as a sign of failure.

    I’m so so happy that she’s being forced to actually engage in some therapy, because she desperately needs some positive therapy experiences to help move on from this spiral and build a healthy battery of coping resources.

    Panel 7: SARAH: Ha ha, people watching folks close to them suffer in an endless depressive spiral they feel helpless to stop or change the course of in an way. This sure isn’t super triggering of the very fresh trauma of my failures to help Dana, oh no siree Bob.

    Painful scary flashbacks and adrenaline rushes of fear and embarrassment are fun. Yay, almost friend encounters, reminding me why I’m a hermit of an introvert.

  49. LordHaw

    I almost didn’t recognize Sarah there. You almost never see her have an ear to ear grin.

    I have a friend who has depression and it’s hard to know what to do sometimes. It’s not like I have a frigging clue about what she is going through because I don’t. But I leave myself open to have her talk to me when she needs it because she needs to get stuff off her chest sometimes. And she does. I want to help more but being clueless about what to do, I feel that at least being a listener for her helps a bit. This whole depression arc is enlightening and hits close to home.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      (I am not a trained anything but I know depression from the inside.)

      Thank you for helping your friend.

      Listening does help. Knowing someone cares helps, even if they don’t understand*. And it may be making them feel a little better, even if they don’t show it or admit it.

      One comment I will make, is if they say self-deprecating things, don’t get into an argument about it. You can politely disagree, and cite evidence otherwise, but don’t get pushy about it. Reason and evidence are not how they got there, and won’t get them out**.

      In general, don’t get pushy about trying to help***.

      * Listening means listening, not throwing out lame platitudes. Not implying you do, but wanted to footnote that.

      ** Obviously this doesn’t apply to trained therapists, who hopefully know what works and what doesn’t.

      *** If you think they may be suicidal, this doesn’t apply, but in that case you need better advice than from some bozo on the internet like me.

  50. Not

    That last panel is every introvert when dragged into public by extroverts.

    1. Orion Fury

      Stupid people not realizing that there’s people out there.

  51. Tenchan

    Sarah and Mike should definitely hook up!

    1. nightsbridge

      I don’t understand why people can’t detect the sarcasm radiating off of Sarah in waves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.