162

Close
Posted on August 18, 2011 by David M Willis

162 thoughts on “Close”

  1. Mkvenner

    Wait just happened?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Dotty said the story was dumb and Roz agreed with her, which clearly Dotty didn’t expect.

      1. Mkvenner

        Who the feck is Dotty?

        1. Aizat

          Dorothy.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Dorothy of cause, Dotty is a common nickname for Dorothy where I’m from.

        3. Mkvenner

          Where?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Australia

        5. David

          And everywhere else, too.

        6. Tristan J

          You’re from everywhere?! 😛

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Everywhere is located in 11700 Preston Road, Dallas, TX according to Google Maps

        8. Fata Morgana

          It… it is? That’s near where I live. I’ll have to go visit Everywhere.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          Everywhere

        10. MuleyBob

          11700 Preston Road, Dallas, TX …

          I’m pretty sure that is just a Whole Foods… not everywhere.

        11. Blob Marley

          Holy crap. Inputting address into phone navigator RIGHT NOW. I could drive to Everywhere in half an hour, tops.

        12. Jetstream

          @Blob Marley

          When you’re done with that, there’s a really neat all-you-can-eat Sushi place about five minutes away on Belt Line. Y’know, so you actually get something other than a trip to Whole Foods/Staples 😉

        13. Plasma Mongoose

          I did a screen capture of where Everywhere is on the Australian Google Maps.

          http://i1191.photobucket.com/albums/z479/Plasma-Mongoose/EverywhereTX.gif

        14. Robert

          Everywhere else 😉

        15. Thomas

          Oz, you mean.

        16. Kelly

          Dotty is clearly a nickname for Dorothy, but while I know a few Dorothys, the only one I have heard being called Dotty is my grandmother. So while Dorothy sounds like a general name to me, Dotty sounds like a little old lady name.

        17. la6ue mous snow angel

          NOW THAT’S JUST DOTTY

        18. Canvas Hat

          Let me get this straight.
          Dotty=Dorothy
          Tubs=Billie
          Freckles=Ruth
          Mike=Mike
          Am I missing anyone?

        19. Mkvenner

          How do you get Dotty from Dorothy?

        20. Aizat

          The same way people get Dick from Richard.

        21. MuleyBob

          Buy him dinner and maybe a take him to a movie?

        22. AndaisQ

          WITH HIS PENIS?

        23. David

          The same way you get Maggie from Margo.

        24. Ridureyu

          or Chuck from Charles, or Bob from Robert, or Jack from John…

        25. gangler

          Wait, I didn’t know about Jack and John.

        26. Krepta

          Or “Hodge” from “Roger”… that one kind of went by the wayside though.

        27. Plasma Mongoose

          The way they somehow get Daisy, Gretel, Peggy or Rita from Margaret.

        28. Björn

          Or “Bill” from “William”.

        29. Raistandantilus

          I can’t speak to Daisy or Gretel, but the other two diminutives of Margaret make linguistic sense. The name Margaret is derived from the Greek word μαργαρίτης (margarites, for those of you who don’t read Greek), which means ‘Pearl.’ Rita comes from the final syllables of ‘margarita,’ the Latin equivalent of the Greek word (and also a very tasty drink). ‘Peggy’ derives from an Irish Gaelic word that also means ‘pearl.’

          I only know this because I have a sister named Margaret, and she learned these factoids in order to justify being called Peggy.

        30. Raistandantilus

          A quick internet search (because I have no life) indicated that ‘Gretel’ derives from a Germanic word meaning ‘pearl.’ The internet’s claim to Daisy also being a diminutive of Margaret is that the French word for ‘daisy’ (the flower) is ‘marguerite,’ which is pronounced a lot like ‘Margaret.’

        31. Roborat

          I had a good friend proudly inform me that he had named his newborn son after his and his wife’s grandfathers. The boy was Harold Richard …, the look of horror on his face when I reminded him of that the nicknames were was priceless . Personnally I would have named him Harold William.

        32. iSaidCandleja-

          The same way you get Jack from Jonathan.

        33. Mkvenner

          ……Okay I know you are making that one up. 😐

        34. Seerow

          Actually they’re not making that one up. Though it also is a nickname for John. Given I know of at least 2 people who are named John but get called Jack, it’s not all that uncommon.

        35. Rosie

          The root name for both Jack and John is Yochanon. It’s the old Hebrew version of Jonathon. The ch is sort of a cat-with-a-hairball noise.

        36. boojum

          I’m pretty sure John and Jonathan actually come from different (though similar-sounding) Hebrew names– Yohannon is John
          (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_(given_name))
          and Yonatan or Yehonatan is Jonathan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_(name)).

        37. Jetstream

          @Mkvenner

          Making it up? You kidding?

          Pop culture, book by Julian May: “Jack the Bodiless.” Nickname for Jon Remillard

          U.S. Politics: John F. Kennedy, “Jack Kennedy”

        38. Baf

          Honestly, the phonetic transformation from “Dorothy” to “Dotty” is so direct as nicknames go that I’m having trouble seeing how you can be having trouble with it. “Dotty” is just “Dorothy” spoken with a lack of precision, right? Think of the “Putting On the Ritz” scene from Young Frankenstein, but imagine that instead of trying to say “Putting On the Ritz” and coming out with “POO’EEN ON A REEEEES”, he’s trying to say “Dorothy”. It would sound pretty much like “DOOOOOTEEEEE”.

          How you get Polly from Mary has always been a mystery to me, though.

        39. David

          Or “Sally” from “Sarah.”

        40. Björn

          Salvador! 😀

        41. Slipdance

          Or “Susan” from “Thrakkorzog”?

        42. Paul

          Now you’re doing it on purpose.

        43. Nichan

          The same why you get Jack from Orville.

        44. Nichan

          Way, too.

        45. Canvas Hat

          Walky=David.
          How could I miss that?

        46. Fred

          From his last name, Walkerton.

          People sometimes call me by my last name too, specially when there is more than one Fred 😛

        47. vlademir1

          Yeah, I get that a lot too IRL, especially at work where we’ve gone through several people with the same first name as me over the years I’ve been there.

        48. Plasma Mongoose

          Sal=Batman 😛

        49. Mkvenner

          Joyce=Blue eyes white devil. 😛

        50. Canvas Hat

          Amazi-Girl=UltraCar (or) Gallasso (or) Abe Lincoln.

        51. Vivvav

          Actually, AAAAAAAH = Mike.

        52. MacGravatar

          Mike+Your mom = a nickel

    2. Mkvenner

      I’m done. I will not pursue this line of commenting anymore, as it has become rather silly.

      1. Mkvenner

        What, no nimb?
        You’re no fun anymore.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          NIMB?

        2. Mkvenner

          I meant nibble.

        3. Jetstream

          NIMH? 😀

      2. Hannover Fist

        Now, I’ve noticed a tendency for this forum to get rather silly. I do my best to keep things moving along, and I’m not having things getting silly. Those last two forums I posted on gat rather silly indeed, and that last one about the necks got even sillier. Now, nobody likes o good laugh more than I do, exept perhaps my brother, and some of his friends. And my dog. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point. Now lets have a good, clean, healthy, outdoor forum. Get some air into your lungs! Ten, nine, eight and all that!

        1. Rayrayrave

          Awww, you’re just upset ‘cuz you couldn’t think of a punchline. 😉

    3. David Herbert

      Dorothy lost her femurs.

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    Dotty isn’t taking that comment too well it seems.

    1. Canvas Hat

      She isn’t taking the story too well, also.

  3. Ragnal

    “Wow, she actually just said that, didn’t she?”

  4. Aizat

    What is the answer that Roz wanted to hear?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You meant Dotty right?

      1. Aizat

        No, Roz said that Dotty’s comment is pretty close to the one she wanted to hear. So, the question remains, what is the answer Roz really wanted to hear?

        1. kagato23

          My guess? That it’s a pointless story not worth having.

          She’s doing damage control, is my guess. She knows she’ll be watched. So she’s going with scandal right off. A really stupid scandal. “college girl has sex” is basically what it is. Which, honestly, is about as surprising and shocking as “college boy gets paddled to join frat”.

          There’s really little story here. So when it’s over and done with, nobody will care when she keeps doing it. Which keeps robin safe. Unless it’s a huge scandal, those things only hurt enough to decide elections if they happen right before an election. By election time far fewer people will care, especially as Robin has no doubt secured world peace.

        2. Andy

          The difference between a representative’s sister’s sex scandal and a pledge getting paddled is the pledge getting paddled is illegal. And it actually is surprising and shocking these days, in large part because of that fact. As a fraternity alum, I resent the implications you have made about fraternities.

    2. Canvas Hat

      Something to the lines of “Do you want an interview?”

    3. Tristan J

      I’m thinking Roz dislikes the fact that sex (specifically, sex between consenting adults) is seen as a moral or important issue. Knowing that the journalism student working on the story thinks the story is meaningless and stupid gives her hope for journalism and how people view sex in the future.

      She’s let down by the ableist language though, hence the ‘pretty close’, but it looks like she’s taking what she can get.

    4. iSaidCandleja-

      She wanted to hear “No, I’m not excited to write about something so normal as sex just because it will titilate the repressed masses who are only interested because one of the people having sex is related to somebody important.”

      That, or she wanted to be propositioned.

      1. Mkvenner

        That’s an answer I can get behind.

        1. Hannover Fist

          You really should have had a Joe gravatar to post that.

    5. Mkvenner

      Are you also into girls?

      1. Aizat

        Are you answering the question or are you talking to me?

        1. Mkvenner

          Answering the question.

        2. CP

          Although…

        3. Mkvenner

          Put words in mouth at your own peril.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Mkvenner, your grav is perfect for that comment.

    6. Mkvenner

      I hate turning you into ammo that your sister’s enemies can use against her.

    7. nitpicker

      She wanted to hear, “I’m excited, but not about the story.”

  5. A. Colunga

    Dislike Roz.

    1. CP

      Agree. She’s unpleasant for the exact same reason Joyce is. They both have a preconceived idea about how people should think and think it’s their primary responsibility to fix any divergence. On the other hand, at least Joyce seems capable of dealing with people outside of that context. So far, every single thing Roz has done has been in service of her crusade.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Including Joe?

        1. Qix

          I saw what you did there.

        2. CP

          Yes, very definitely including Joe.

      2. invisiblemoose

        What crusade is this again?

        1. HMRC4EVR

          Don’t call this a Crusade. I’m sure either JMS or TBS will run in, cancel it midway through the arc and leave us all hanging for the next several decades.

          Ooh, a Babylon 5 universe reference?? And I didn’t even care for Crusade that much. Prefered B5 way over it.

          Anyway, nice twist Walky. Be interesting to see where it goes next.

  6. Inara

    suddenly liking Roz despite myself – provisionally, of course. Depends on whether this was all meant to be a statement, or just a jab at her sister.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I like Roz myself, but then again, I seem to like Faz and Malaya in Shortpacked! so you can make whatever conclusions you will from these facts.

      1. Marimba

        I hate Malaya!! But I also like Roz and Faz. Faz is too funny. I hope he makes an appearance in DOA!!

        1. ryan

          i can only see faz appearing as someone’s sibling or as a child prodigy that made it in. alas, my preferred scenario seems the least likely.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I would like to see a Faz show up as a teacher. >:D

  7. Cholma

    I like how Dorothy is sitting there with her hands all properly folded, sitting in “high judgement” of Roz’s “loose morals”.

    Then: BAM! Right in the face with a sweet pickle pie! (Ultracar may not exist in this continuity, but the pies should!)

  8. Ryune

    For shame, Dotty. You’re using ableist language in front of Roz.

    1. Ryune

      I’m suddenly realizing that everything becomes ten times more hilarious when you’ve got Walky beaming and giving it two thumbs up right next to your comment.

      1. Vivvav

        It’s also funny when it’s positive and you have Mike glaring.

    2. Björn

      Oh yeeeeah… I wonder if that was intentional?

    3. Jetstream

      God da… I draw the line at “dumb” being ableist language. Usage defines meaning. Dumb has meant unintelligent since the SIXTIES. It no longer refers to someone who is incapable of speech.

      So sick of “ableist” language anyway. Not everything needs an “ist,” people.

      1. Cass

        That reminds me of the first time I ever read The Trumpet of the Swan when I was a little kid; I was so confused, “He’s a BIRD, how can you tell if he’s smart or not? Not being able to honk doesn’t mean he’s stupid! And how will giving him a trumpet make him less dumb?”

        I have no idea how long it took me to figure out that “dumb” had another meaning I hadn’t known.

  9. Kernanator

    Pssst! I think she broke Dorothy.

    1. Aizat

      Dorothy’s already broken by Joe, I think.

      1. Mkvenner

        Dorothy already went to high school with him and dated his best friend/wingman.

        1. Mkvenner

          So Joe doesn’t really bother her THAT much.

        2. Aizat

          Really? Cause she really looked bothered in yesterday’s strip.

        3. Mkvenner

          I think that was of annoyed than bothered.

        4. bramble

          what, you think she’s built up a resistance? I’d say that every time she has to interact with Joe, it chips away at her soul a little more – she put up with him in highschool for Danny’s sake, but like many women who do not want to have sex with Joe, she’s got a limited tolerance for his behavior.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        If that was the case, then Joe needs to fix her again…

        1. Tristan J

          With his hammer.

          His fists are not the hammer.

        2. Kernanator

          So no percussive maintenance?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I wouldn’t say that, a certain type of ‘pounding’ may be in order. 😀

        4. Mkvenner

          I’m going to have ask you to stop right there.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Only if you usen the safety word.

        6. Kernanator

          The safe word is “Femurs”.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          That works for me. 😀

        8. Sammy

          Joe is Captain Hammer suddenly?

        9. Tristan J

          Mostly I’m trying to find new and exciting ways to cut off predictable memes before they start.

          Granted, I used a meme from a different context, but it’s the best I could do as quickly as I could.

        10. HMRC4EVR

          Then who’s Dr. Horrible?

          And do they have a Sing Along blog?

  10. begbert2

    It seems like most english words for unintelligent are ableist in some way, given that there didn’t used to be much of a conceptual distinction between “stupid” and “mentally handicapped”. Personally I’ll just stick with modern definitions, thanks, and consider any definition shift that’s over a century old to be grandfathered in. Which gives ‘dumb’ a free pass.

    1. CP

      ‘Unintelligent’ is every bit as much ableist as the rest of them. Calling someone mentally handicapped is the same as calling someone handicapped, just more specific. The real question is, why would you prefer to use words that are technically inaccurate, when accurate words are available to you? Is it somehow more insulting to call someone dumb than stupid?

      I think the concept of ableist language is ridiculous, because it’s like getting offended at someone calling you a paraplegic when you’re blind. It’s got nothing to do with you if they don’t know how to describe it if your legs are fine but your eyes don’t work.

      1. begbert2

        There’s nothing innaccurate about using the word “dumb” to mean “stupid”, since the word has held that meaning for over a hundred and fifty years. Calling the “stupid” usage “technically inaccurate” is like saying that using “fine” to mean “okay” and using “bill” to mean “legal paper” are inaccurate because “fine” means “punitive charge” and “bill” means “a duck’s mouth”. The simple fact is that lots of words have more than one meaning in English. We rely on context to tell them apart – and it’s rare for it to be unclear which you mean when you use “dumb”. (If it ever is confusing, it behooves you to use a different term in that instance.)

        And incidentally, I’ve done a little poking around on the interwebs and seen it claimed that while prior to that the word “dumb” was occasionally used in the ableist fashion of “silent = stupid” back in the 1700s, it’s modern meaning seems to have mainly been borrowed from the German word “dumm”, an thus the modern sense of “dumb” = “stupid” isn’t actually ableist at all! In which case any accusations of ableism are based on (basically) homophone/homograph trouble. Who knew, eh?

      2. begbert2

        Oh, and “unintelligent” is explicitly not ableist, since neither it nor its base term “intelligent” are a demarcation between handicapped and non-handicapped people.

    2. Random832

      “Dumb” means [rather, historically meant] mute, not mentally handicapped. You’re thinking of “idiot”.

      1. LeaLeonis

        Hence the pun in the song title “Free Speech For The Dumb”.

      2. Phillip Wilde

        If we’re going to split hairs over it, you should know that the original meaning of ‘idiot’ is someone who keeps to himself and does not participate in politics, and it simply had the connotation of being stupid or uneducated based in the implication that any educated man would be interested in the workings of the polis, but over time the connotation overshadowed the actual definition.

        1. JesseJanitect

          I just have to say how much I love the fact that I was expecting to see sex talk and Roz bashing and we are instead getting a linguistics discussion. Gotta love this group.

      3. begbert2

        Dumb means “stupid” and “mute”, nowadays. Neither definition is erroneous.

        (And you can’t replace it with “idiot” – that’s a different part of speech. “Idiotic”, maybe, though I consider the two words to have different shades of meaning. You have to work a little harder to be idiotic; being dumb is easy and common.)

  11. Dahlia

    Oh snap!

    D: Hey, roz isn’t doing this…to SPITE Robin…r-right?

    I mean…c’mon…its her SISTER….Dx;

  12. Undrave

    That’s so demeaning! Refering to Joe as a ‘story’! HE’S A HUMAN BEING!!

  13. Jillian

    …I get a good laugh out of most of the comics. But I get an even BETTER laugh out of the comments left bellow them.

    1. Jillian

      Below. >> -cough-

    2. Mkvenner

      We try.

    3. Jackson

      The comments do tend to be funnier if you bellow them.

      1. Kernanator

        WITH MY PENIS!!!!

        Wow, you’re right, it is funnier!

  14. Ravux

    I shall now try to interpret Dorothy’s thoughts!….”Was that thing I ate this morning still good?”…. What? Am I off?

    1. Aizat

      I think it’s more like ” Why am I pissed off about all this? Oh right, Joe.”

      1. Mkvenner

        I thought it was “What the fuck just happened?” or “Did that just happen?”

        1. CP

          Se the way her mouth gets all small? That’s annoyance. She isn’t ticked about Joe or astonished about anything. She’s annoyed about something specific to the situation she is currently looking at.

          Also, the eye tick suggests that it’s something she already knew was going to annoy her before it happened. I’m guessing she’s directly annoyed about the subtle dig at her use of the word ‘dumb’.

        2. Hitoshi

          The way she is holding her hands together screams that her hands are thirsting necks.

        3. iSaidCandleja-

          I thought the mouth suggested stunned silence while the eyebrow was simply raised in curiosity. Kind of like in The Dark Knight when Joker crashed a party and an old mine said nobody was scared.

        4. Loki

          Yeah, it looks more like confusion to me. Pursing one’s lips and tilting one’s eyebrows often indicates confusion/puzzlement.

        5. artemi

          I agree. That is clearly a ‘…what!?’ eyetick.

          I would imagine her next expression would a be a narrowed eyed, ‘I see what you did there’ look, followed by a growl of annoyance or a sigh of giving up.

  15. RayBarrington

    “Call me Dottie and you die.”
    – Dot Warner, Animaniacs.

    1. JesseJanitect

      My name is Princess Angelina Contesa Louisa Fancesca Banana-Fanna Bo Besca the Third.

  16. Wix

    Damn… I love that Roz prefers the truth to flattery. It honestly means that she prefers hearing the truth about herself instead of ‘flattery’ or ‘flaming’. If I wasn’t in love with the bow ties already, I’d fall in love with Roz for that alone.

    But again, the bow ties own my heart, because bow ties are cool.

    1. Aizat

      And so are fezzes.

      1. HMRC4EVR

        Yes, but I’m sure Sal in this universe would pull out a gun and shoot any random Fez cause that’s just how she rolls.

        1. JesseJanitect

          Especially because Walky is the person most likely to wear a fez.

  17. espanolbot

    Okay, how many people think that she did to just to mess with Robin?

    1. begbert2

      I think she had sex with Joe because she wanted to have sex. You don’t volunteer to wear a condom hat without having some pretty firm views on sexual liberation, which would seem to go hand in hand with being of the mind that your own genitals are there for you to use.

  18. Arkadi

    Mmmmmm…

  19. LeaLeonis

    If Dorothy’s close to telling Roz what she wants to hear, does this mean she gets free sex from her? Just in theory. Not shipping or anything.

    1. HMRC4EVR

      I think Roz’s door swings both ways. As long as it’s fun and consentual between adults doesn’t matter who gets her off.

      Not saying she’s a slut mind you; but there is a fine line between that and just being ‘free spirited’.

  20. Zem

    Phuh. Mind games.

    Personally I think she’s just BSing.

    1. Zem

      On a second read, it seems that Dorothy is the jerk? She called her out just to tell her she doesn’t like having to write a story about her? First read I though she was trying to go somewhere with it, like “I don’t like it, you don’t like it but let’s both make the most of it” and showing frustration ‘d be justified if that’s the feeling she was trying to convey, but maybe she was just agitating her on purpose?

  21. Shifty

    I’m confused. Roz’s response seems to imply that she think the big deal everyone is making about her and Joe having sex is a not a big deal. And considering her she’s all about Female Sexual empowerment (the condom hat…), that opinion would make sense. After all, sex isn’t really a big deal to the people who it doesn’t directly affect.

    Buuuut… She went to the effort of putting the video online and getting a lot of attention for it, which implies she wants people to see it as a big deal.

    So… I’m not sure what she’s aiming for. I mean, it feels a little beneath her to do this just to screw with Robin. Especially if the Robin in this universe is anything like the Robin in the Shortpacked Universe. After all, that Robin made a major aspect of her campaign two gay boys making out all lickity-style.

    1. Maycroft

      I think she’s just messing with Dorothy’s head to gain more attention, or her attention.

    2. Notebooked

      She could be posting the video online to make a big deal out of the ensuing discussion. As in “this video doesn’t affect you, why are you talking about it”.

  22. Jenny Creed

    So, no jokes about Dorothy going to Roz?

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