110

Enlightening
Posted on December 26, 2012 by David M Willis

110 thoughts on “Enlightening”

  1. Jen Aside

    SHE’S COMIN’

    1. LuckyStar7

      Nobody could stop
      Ain’t nobody could hold her
      Ain’t nobody control her

      SHE’S COMIN’

      She’s here to do her thing
      She’s here to bring the pain
      She’s never ever gonna change

  2. Wonder Wig

    Perhaps follow that smoke with a pancake?

    1. Resne

      Pipe and a crepe?

      1. That Guy In The Corner That Has No Name

        Blunt and a blitz?

        1. EasternEuropeanDessertOfficial

          Unless you’re suggesting she play football while blazed, I believe you mean “blintz,” my dear fellow.

    2. TPman

      Stogie and a flapjack?

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    Don’t you just hate it when someone scabs a smoke off of ya?

  4. Mkvenner

    ………………I’ve got nothing.

  5. Wack'd

    And then Sal gets tossed out of school for assault.

    1. Mkvenner

      Among other things.

    2. Yotomoe

      Walky has a bad case of Ass Salt.

      1. Bekah

        *faceplam*

    3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Or Jason caves in, and Sal gets a mulligan of sorts. Whether she blows that one too, only time will tell….Pretty soon.

      1. Rex Hondo

        I wasn’t aware that “mulligan” was a euphemism for penis, but I will certainly bear it in mind for future use.

        1. Pyr05

          Everything is a euphamism for penis.

        2. Raoullefere

          God, I hope not. Someone yelling out for ‘everything’ to be inserted to the wrong partner could have some very embarrassing ‘splaining to do in the E.R.

        3. mrelegos

          That would make Magic the Gathering tournaments rather disturbing.

        4. Roborat

          At least they wouldn’t be as boring.

  6. Kernanator

    Well, she’s certainly got the Batman perp sweating thing down pat.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I imagine Batman got good grades in math, though.

      1. Kernanator

        Well, of course he did. He trained to be the best in everything.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yeah, he even invented Bat-physics, a new type of physics which allows batarangs and batplanes to fly even when they shouldn’t be able to.

        2. Roborat

          And breathing in space. Don’t forget breathing in space.

  7. addude

    And they end up having sex, angry sex.

    1. Atious

      Yes. Yes they do. That’s the first thing that came to my mind. o.o

    2. Doctor_Who

      I can’t imagine Sal ever really having happy sex.

      I see her and Jason as being a little like Dr. Cox and Jordan on Scrubs. All sex is hate sex, and they love it that way.

      1. Wonder Wig

        If she could do it on a motorcycle she’d be happy.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Joyce is perfectly willing to volunteer for that if the bike is involved.

        2. DaJoshMaster

          Is it sex before marrage if it’s a motorbike?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Not sure, it depends on whenever you can even marry a bike or not in Indiana.

        4. Historyman68

          It’s not gay if it’s on a motorbike.

        5. Dibullba

          Premarital Hanky Panky on Motorcyles

        6. Wonder Wig

          Even worse than card games on motorcycles!

    3. Bill M.

      Of course, I got that. She only smokes after sex. Usually she just “jills off” when we’ve seen no obvious partner previously in-comic.

  8. Ragnal

    HEY, whoa, cool it there, Sal. Don’t mock the bow tie!

    BOW TIES ARE COOL! 😀

    (Really guys? We even had Doctor Who here and we missed this old joke? :P)

    1. Doctor_Who

      Because no one needs to be reminded that bow ties are cool. It’s self-evident. People who deny it are just fooling themselves.

      1. Jeff K!

        Hey! How dare you infer that Jimmy Olsen isn’t cool! Here, have an article!
        http://www.comicsalliance.com/2012/08/24/ask-chris-118-whats-so-great-about-jimmy-olsen/
        Good day to you, sir!
        *storms off*

        1. Jeff K!

          This comment wound up under the wrong person. It was meant to respond to Raoullefere below.

        2. CWR

          Good day to you, sir!
          *jills off*

    2. Reboot

      There was ever any doubt?

      1. Raoullefere

        I’m afraid so. Dr. Who’s going to have to labor long and hard to erase the stigma Archie Andrews and Jimmy Olsen have loaded onto bow-ties. Especially since he wants to be a ginger.

        1. mrelegos

          If anyone can make being a Ginger cool, it’s the Doctor.

        2. DaJoshMaster

          Hey. Ginger girls can be uber hot!

          …although I suppose that’s not cool now that I think about it.

        3. SaruDa

          But…BILL NYE!!

        4. mrelegos

          THE SCIENCE GUY

  9. Jererry

    Jesus, Sal. I think I have a broken nose from facepalming so hard. That “therapy” suggestion doesn’t seem so bad right about now.

  10. Ridureyu

    “Are you calling me crazy? I’LL KILL YOU!”

  11. Yotomoe

    Oh my god! SHE’S GOING TO SMOKE HIM!!!

    1. Bekah

      Where I come from, that’s a euphemism for oral sex.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Well, oral fixation rarely limits itself to one particular form…

    2. Pyr05

      She’s gonna smoke him hard. And he’ll like it. Cuz he’s told he likes it.

    3. Dibullba

      And then she will smoke me!
      OOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!

      1. CWR

        DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty
        person, and she must pay the penalty — and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and smoke her!
        GIRLS: A smoking! A smoking!
        DINGO: You must smoke her well. And after you have smoked her, you
        may deal with her as you like. And then, smoke me.
        VARIOUS GIRLS: And smoke me.
        And me.
        And me.
        DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good smoking!
        GIRLS: A smoking! A smoking!
        DINGO: And after the smoking, the oral sex.
        GIRLS: Oral sex! Oral sex!
        GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a BIT longer.

  12. Jimmy

    I think she needs about 5 boxes of nicotine gum and 20 nicotine patches all at the same time to get through one day of not smoking.

    1. Moonshine McGee

      You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you need usually lethal doses of a drug, just to get up to normal.

  13. Blob Marley

    “And bah ‘smoke,’ ah mean ‘arson.'”

    1. LuckyStar7

      Why can’t she just TP the neighborhood?

      1. begbert2

        She does – the TP makes good tinder.

    2. james

      with your penis

    3. Dibullba

      and bah ‘arson’, ah mean your FAAAAAAAAAAAAACCEEEEEE

  14. Jehosaphat

    NOW KISS!!!

    1. Aslee

      My sentiments exactly.

  15. Scot

    Jason, thats your cue.

    Give her something to smoke.

    1. Scot

      Out of all the characters I could have gotten for a gravitar for that post….why

      1. Pyr05

        Because it makes your comment SO much more awkward if it was coming from Walky.

        1. Tenn

          “Hey sis! I’ve been in a girl’s bed! With a girl! I had such a huge BONER! You should totally try being in a girl’s bed too! Except with a guy. With a BONER! Like that guy with the bowtie. Didjaknow he was eaten by a dinosaur once? Man, I like, TOTALLY almost had sex! From behind! With my BONER! You think he has a bowtie on his boner? You should find out! Man, I feel so great! BONER!”

          …and now my brain is trying to imagine what a conversation between Walky and Faz would be like. -_-

        2. LuckyStar7

          Intimate destruction. 😉

        3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Like Sal would let Walky complete that paragraph…

  16. Dr.Z

    Did you miss the part where you can be expelled &/or arrested for threatening &/or hurting a professor in college, Sal?

    Get in a study group and stop acting like an entitled baby.

    1. DaJoshMaster

      Did you miss the part in It’s Walky where she’s psycotic? 😛

      1. Dr.Z

        Too bad they don’t make exceptions in expulsions for being the crazy person. 😉

    2. JA

      It’s a webomic. It’s art, not real life.

      1. Jererry

        Look up a concept called “verisimilitude” and then get back to me. If the fictional world seems totally devoid of rules, we have no expectations and any plot twists won’t matter. It will feel arbitrary. Trust me, this comic will require a follow-up to explain itself, because as an audience, we all know there are consequences for actions. If not, whatever Sal does can only be interesting in a base, shock-value way. I’m pretty sure Willis is a much better writer than that.

        1. JA

          Not sure how verisimilitude is applicable here, but Sal seems to be following the rules of her character, authority be damned.

        2. Dr.Z

          The original post I made is just my natural reaction to the situation.

          The comic itself does a bold thing were drama and comical hijinks crash, mate, eat their offspring, and battle in quibbage.

          It makes it so I’m, personally, never sure if we will see consequences (drama), or it just gets a pass for da laughs (hijinks), or a weird, alien hybrid chest-buster (Hijima? Drajinks?).

          Personally, I’d prefer drama-consequences a bit here, as I’ve seen a lot of this BS from students at college, and them getting disciplined.

  17. mrelegos

    Sal’s dialogue becomes amazingly good if you read it in the voice of Rogue from X-Men evolution.

    1. james

      TAS is better

      (especially for Storm)

      1. David

        aaaaaaaagh

        FoX-Men Storm is the absolute worst voice for any character in all of recorded history. She sounds like friggin’ Eagle Man.

        I’m not sure if it was the talent’s fault or the amazingly awful dialogue she had to say.

        Everyone else’s voices/dialogue were merely absolutely terrible, but Storm was kind of the shit pickle on top of the shit sandwich.

        1. Shariku Onikage

          Aw, i loved the voices for that series. Even now i can fondly remember Storm shouting things like ‘Storm, MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS, commands you to release that child!’

          Cyclops had his moments too, with things like ‘Do it, Jean. USE THE POWER OF YOUR MIND!’

          Classic.

        2. David

          http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/blog/shes-got-something-for-youuuuu/

        3. ArkhamTexan

          The thing is, Storm sounded weird when she WASN’T doing her large ham moments. She was absolutely atrocious when she was just speaking normally. And didn’t they change the voice actress for her at some point? To something WORSE?

          Rogue’s voice actress was pretty awesome too. Same for Wolverine’s and everyone else’s. Storm was also delightful in its badness. Clearly, the money to make the cartoon went into the gourmet ham and cheese sammiches that made up the actors’ paychecks.

        4. DavidMcG

          I know you’re really invested in this Eagle Man hypothesis, but she sounds a lot more like Doctor Orpheus.

        5. ArkhamTexan

          Yeah, Eagle Man didn’t sound anything like Storm. Doctor Orpheaus, on the other hand… except the good doctor made actually speaking like that believable.

        6. james

          FOOL!!!!!!!!!! YOU DARE TO MOCK THE MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS!?

          I Summon Halle Berry Performance! Know now what horrid voices sound like and suffer!

        7. mrelegos

          I will defend X-Men Evolution as the superior show to my dying breath.

          It had Shadowcat, ergo, it was better.

          Also, the Voice Cast were near identical to the greatest cartoon ever: Class of The Titans.

        8. David

          Evolution was the closest I’ve ever gotten to being interested in the X-Men.

        9. Parismio

          Well what about Wolverine and the X-men? What did you think of that?

        10. james

          loved it glad to see Emma was killed and Really wished they got a season 2 (Age of Apocalypse!)

        11. mrelegos

          Wolverine and the X-men has it’s main problem in it’s name.

          I don’t give a rats ass about Wolverine.

        12. james

          which is weired since Logan is not the center of attention in the show.

          kurt’s and gambits epd were the best

        13. Dr.Z

          This is objective prof you have no soul, Willis.

          Bishie Nightcrawler was so awesome.

          And they made me give a toss about Avalanche, who up till them was a character I thought had no value over ‘Mook #4.’

        14. Dr.Z

          “FoX-Men Storm is the absolute worst voice for any character in all of recorded history. She sounds like friggin’ Eagle Man.”

          No. She sounds like Comedy Gold.

          She sounds like Dr. DOOM, with bewbs & a good meds. How can you not laugh your butt off at that??? 😀

          “Everyone else’s voices/dialogue were merely absolutely terrible…”

          Dialog all around? I’ll defiantly agree.

          But Rouge & Wolverine’s voice work was awesome.

          This is objective fact. 🙂

        15. james

          not to mention it the fox VA that were used in most of old capcom fighting games.

          Now fox’s Avengers cartoon…..whooo boy that was bad

  18. LuckyStar7

    Now kiss.

  19. JA

    Don’t make Sal angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

  20. Charles The Jolly

    Presumably she’ll get called out in the form of arrest or detainment for this, and there are two ways I can see this going from there: Either she, discouraged by worsening grades and by people still thinking she’s an idiot, quits — or she cools down and stays determined. Probably the latter. Sal gets pissed, but probably pissed enough to not give her detractors (real or imagined) the satisfaction of being right.

  21. Charles The Jolly

    Sal will probably get arrested or detained for this, and this can go two ways from there: She might, discouraged by her lowering grades and people thinking she’s an idiot, quit the course. Or she might cool down and stay determined to study. Probably the latter — she is impatient and unruly and all, but can probably get mad enough to prove her detractors (real or imagined) wrong.

  22. Raibean

    I ship it.

  23. Anonymous

    A smoking addiction apparently makes Sal twice as sociopathic. O.O (Ignoring severely-under-influence-of-brainwashing times.)

    As a non-smoker, this sort of thing makes me want to point and ask “See? /See?/ Was starting smoking /really/ worth it?”.

  24. BrunDeign

    If this doesn’t end in sex I will be severely disappointed.

  25. ArkhamTexan

    See, this is why I have my rule: you don’t date crazy.

    … you sleep with crazy for one night and then get the hell out of there before they wake up in the morning.

  26. nothri

    Sal: Jason.

    Jason: Sally!

    Sal: There’s something you should know!

    Jason: What is it Sally?
    Sal: I came….

    Jason: What?

    Sal: ….to this office….

    Jason: Oh.

    Sal: To deliver a message….

    Jason: What is it, Sally….

    Sal: HOT CHICKS ON MOTORCYCLES!

    Jason: Hot chicks on motorcycles?

    Sal: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Jason: Walky! Did you hear that? Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Walky: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Billie: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Ruth: Hot chicks on mororcycles!

    Amazigirl: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Dina: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Dorothy: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Joyce: Card games on motorcycles (Joyce fail)

    Sal: Jason!

    Jason: What is it, Sally?

    Sal: I came….

    Jason: ……

    Sal: Heh heh.

    Jason: WWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTT?

    1. nothri

      Wow. That was funnier before I went to bed.

  27. ruinah

    Unrelated: So this appeared on a website I was recently linked to: http://i.imgur.com/IIePE.png

  28. hoop

    And this is the part where Any Sane Faculty would be contacting Student Life and filing a report.

    1. Dr.Z

      Indeed! (Firm nod.)

    2. DaJoshMaster

      I expect he will. Jason seems exceedingly level headed.

  29. Storel

    So… is she implying that she’s about to smoke his bow tie?

  30. TheManwhodidEverythingandhasNoFriends

    AH NEED A SMOKE, BOWTIE.
    …
    Classic.

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