199

Some dork
Posted on January 18, 2024 by David M Willis

199 thoughts on “Some dork”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    only thing dorkier would be going to MAGFest

    1. anon

      have fun!

  2. Animedingo

    I bet she pronounces it Kara-okay

    1. Dante

      Oh godddd she so does

    2. SpaceDorf

      Kara are you okay .. are you okay .. are you okay Kara ?

    3. Maddie B

      Real ones pronounce it カラオケ.

      1. Miafillene

        kah-Rah-oh-keh. Least that’s what my sensei taught. I miss her.

      2. Dante

        Romance Languages usually do a good job because the way we do syllables and phonemes is similar – Barring some difficulty differentiating Japanese su/tsu and chu/shu, Spanish does the same sounds (including “Nya” = “Ña”)

        Of course, this means we kill it at karaoke in anime nights :33

    4. Theluxland

      Wait, i’ve only heard it this way (And in french sentences so it may be the right way to say it in that language) but how do tou say it otherwise?

      1. zee

        In the west it’s more common to say “carry-oki”

      2. asmodai27

        It is indeed pronounced “Kara Okay” in French, but when French borrows a word from another language, it tends to significantly change its pronounciation.

      3. a/snow/mous/e

        Yeah, ironically I think that’s probably the same as, or at least nearer to, the original Japanese pronunciation. But in American English, it’s typically anglicized to the pronunciation “carry okie”.

    5. Robin Lionheart

      What other way to pronounce it is there?

      …

      Oh right, now I remember. Guess I’d just blocked the memory of people saying “carry okie”.

      1. mindbleach

        On MST3K it’s always “kar-okie.” I have no idea if that’s a genuine Minnesota-ism or if it’s like Daffy Duck’s “despicable.”

    6. Li

      I mean, karaoke is VERY much an outlier in how American English pronounces both loan words in general and Japanese loan words in specific. Our spelling wouldn’t be half as erratic as it is if we didn’t generally try to maintain pronunciation with our loan words.

      Examples of more “correctly” pronounced loans words: sushi, haiku, kabuki. Also Honda and Toyota and Nissan are all reasonable approximations.

      Examples of loan words that are off, but still better than karaoke: shiitake (often “shitaKEY”), jujutsu (juJItsu), pokemon (poKEYmon), kamikaze (kaMEkaZEE)

      Examples of loan words we don’t even try with: karaoke (carry-okee), hara-kiri (hairy-carry) – pretty sure the latter two came over to America during WW2, and the first in the 1980s, which to put it mildly were both periods of intense “screw that country” sentiment and probably not conducive to respecting their pronunciation.

      Examples of words you didn’t even know came from Japanese: tycoon (from 大君 taikun), skosh (just a skosh, from 少し sukoshi), honcho (head honcho, from 班長 hanchou)

      1. Li

        *originally had kamikaze grouped with harakiri and karaoke, which is why that paragraph refers to three, but kamikaze is only slightly worse than pokemon or shiitake. The REAL best third example is karate, which we inexplicably pronounce kuh-RAH-tee.

  3. JA

    Malaya calls it as she sees it.

    1. BarerMender

      Malaya needs to learn to respect her fellow human beings. All human beings are dangerous. As Mickey Spillane taught us long a go, even a child can pick up a gun and shoot her in the back. If she doesn’t respect her fellow humans, one of them will, sooner or later, teach her respect the hard way.

      1. Dark_T_Zeratul

        Boy, that escalated quickly.

        1. ktbear

          USA in a nutshell.

        2. BarerMender

          Bullshit. Good manners are about respect, and respect is about danger.

        3. Thag Simmons

          That’s not an attitude that will take you to good places

        4. BarerMender

          Bullshit again. Good manners get you respect. Bad manners get you a punch in the mouth. As for shooting, I’ve been places where everyone could be assumed to be armed. Those were the quietest, nicest, politest places I’ve ever been.

        5. FaerwenOfValenwood

          Lmao

        6. Xujhan

          Is this a bit? Are we doing a bit? I genuinely can’t tell.

        7. Taffy

          “Be nice to me or I’ll shoot you” isn’t respect, it’s fear lmao

        8. Mturtle7

          I’m taking a screenshot of this particular thread, as one of the funniest spontaneous online interactions I’ve seen in a long time.

        9. McNitz

          Unfortunately, religion often teaches you that respect should be due to fear. This can result in people being confused that others would respect people that don’t have power over them.

        10. clif

          An armed society is a polite society. – Robert A. Heinlein

          It’s an old argument.

        11. Li

          It’s also demonstrably untrue, there are so many instances of people shooting other people over the mildest “slights” imaginable.

        12. PedanticJerkass

          If the only tool you have is a gun, you tend to see every problem as a target.

        13. PedanticJerkass

          Who hurt you?

      2. Nymph

        Wow “calling someone a dork can get you killed, and that’s Malaya’s fault for being disrespectful, not the person jumping to lethal violence about their feefees”

        In my book, threatening violence (or actually perpetrating it) are pretty fucking disrespectful too. Grow up.

        1. milu

          Or maybe BarerMender was joking a little bit. Just maybe

        2. Derek

          it’s a weird joke though, and not consistent with the tone of the comic or the rest of the comments

        3. PedanticJerkass

          “I was just jokin’ brah” is not, has never been, and will not ever be a get out of jail free card for saying stupid crap, despite too many wrong opinions to the contrary.

        4. milu

          k

        5. James

          So what’s the punchline?

    2. Architex

      They must be majoring in whale biology.

    3. Pylgrim

      Man, I don’t like Malaya but I am so here for her bringing Jennifer down a notch.

    4. Theluxland

      I used to not like Malaya very much but now I see how it’s a great character.
      And the fact she is questionning her gender identity (Like me) is just adding to the reason I appreciate her

  4. Schpoonman

    Drag her ass, Malaya.

    1. James

      *Let them fight.*

      1. Imogen

        These two have a stunning amount of chemistry. They play off each other’s weaknesses perfectly. I can’t believe we’ve never(?) seen these two interact before.

    2. Thag Simmons

      Malaya is always the most fun when they’re taking shots at someone less likeable then them.

      1. deliverything

        True, but Malaya can also be fun when taking shots at someone other than Mary.

        (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

        1. Opus the Poet

          +1

  5. Coatl

    Malaya is also someone debatable, but she was honest with Jennifer

    1. Needfuldoer

      Malaya respects sincerity; just look at her interactions with Joyce.

  6. Doctor_Who

    Re: alt-text

    Oh wow, look at her now, Billingsworth’s Famous Dork.

    (probably dating myself with that one, kids these days are probably more familiar with the Dakota Fanning version. Bummer, they’re missing out on the glory of Paul Lynde.)

    1. StClair

      He’ll always be my center square. 😀

      1. elebenty

        Indeed.

        And my favorite Uncle Arthur.

    2. Dday

      SOME PIG

    3. cbwroses

      Ooh whee! What do you see: the greatest dork in history!

      1. Reaver

        Fine Swine,wish she were mine, so what if her ass so big?!

    4. Taffy

      Thanks to the futuristic invention known as “Video Home System”, some of us youngsters are still In The Know™.

      1. clif

        I’m uncertain if that is something you are making up or if something as 50’s sounding as video home system is actually a thing.

        1. Li

          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/VHS

          Congrats on being one of today’s lucky 10,000!

        2. David DeLaney

          +i

  7. TDKnave

    I’m conflicted. On one hand, Malaya’s the worst. On the other hand, so’s Jennifer.

    1. Schpoonman

      “I don’t care if Malaya wins! I just want Jennifer to lose!”

    2. UrsulaDavina

      I know itss a real conundrum.

    3. John Campbell

      There’s plenty of characters in this comic worse than either of them. Some of them are even still alive.

    4. Jeremiah

      The real winner is me who gets a laugh at their interactions.

    5. Thag Simmons

      Malaya’s worst-ness is well deployed here because it is fun to watch Jennifer try to be cool and fail.

      1. Mturtle7

        Malaya’s an insufferably pigheaded misanthrope who thinks they’re genuinely cool but pretty much everyone else is faking it. This makes her really hard to watch when she blasting someone who’s honestly pretty nice, but absolutely HILARIOUS to watch when she runs into somebody with a lot of easily-shattered illusions about themselves.

  8. Joe Moose

    I note an absence of a certain iguana.

    1. JessWitt

      Oh they’re busy being a part of Carla’s eye-catching ensemble.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Carla borrowed him.

  9. Koms

    This is going to be like the outing at the lake. Everyone will go to Karaoke and accidentally Dina too

    1. Doctor_Who

      Plot twist: she will absolutely fucking slay Dinosaur by King Crimson.

      1. David DeLaney

        open the door
        find Dina behind it
        get on the floor
        everybody sing the di-no-saur

      2. Opus the Poet

        Ooohhhh! I’m a dinosaur
        Somebody’s digging my bones.

  10. Cauchemar

    Frankly Malaya and Jennifer talking to each other is like watching the Complete Asshole Olympics. They are both SO far up their own asses.

    1. Dante

      And somehow, Malaya is winning.

      1. Coatl

        I don’t know if this is good or bad

        1. Dante

          The match is not over yet! May the worst win

        2. Coatl

          True

      2. Reltzik

        Malaya’s skillset includes crawling up other peoples’ asses.

      3. Mark

        Dunno, I think so far they’re both losing — in a two-way contest.

    2. HueSatLight

      meh, they’re just a couple of dorks.

    3. ktbear

      Never met an ass I didnt like. I suspect its the ears, SO cute. Oh wait, y’all are Americans, aren’t you?

      1. Thag Simmons

        That joke sort of needs plausible syntactic ambiguity to work, and I think most english speakers regardless of nationality will read “complete asshole” or “up their own asses” and comprehend the intended meaning.

        Like if someone called a dude a “pretentious jackass” for unironically using the phrase “plausible syntactic ambiguity” in casual conversation, that’s somewhere you could make this sort of joke. I don’t know if it’d be funny but at least you would be pedantically correct

        1. anonymsly

          Isn’t pedantically correct the best (and funniest) kind of correct?

        2. clif

          Even better than technically correct.

        3. Mark

          How is “plausible syntactic ambiguity” not casual conversation?

        4. Thag Simmons

          It’s a jargony way of saying something I could have conveyed in simpler words so it feels a little pretentious to me. I’m a little self-conscious about this sort of thing though

        5. clif

          Your problem is you hang out with too many adults.

  11. Dean

    Malaya, don’t make fun of the super mega dork.

  12. RassilonTDavros

    Oh no… we’ve discovered something Malaya actually likes.

    1. Dante

      Her DORK LEVEL is OVER 9000, except Malaya would never, ever word it in such a way it’d imply she enjoys a single thing.

      (Even universally beloved trans-cultural icon Dragon Ball.)

    2. Dante

      sdghskljd oh my god, I meant to post that on the main comment section sorry BUT YEA

    3. anon

      Depends on if she’s using ‘astounding’ sarcastically or not

      1. Mturtle7

        I assumed the former at first, but now that RassilonTDavros points it out, it occurs to me she COULD VERY WELL actually mean it as a compliment! I’m kind of torn about which interpretation is funnier, tbh.

  13. Coatl

    Wait…did she manage to convince Dorothy to let off some steam at karaoke?
    and also

    Does Jennifer also need Sal to keep them company?

    1. anon

      well, sal and danny are prolly a bit more well adjusted in comparison to balance out their…unhinged-ness?

      Plus dorothy can learn from sal a bit more details about their parents

      Plot twist: Dorothy joins sal/danny’s throuple instead of ruth/jens 8D

      1. Coatl

        Tempting idea, mostly because Sal and Dorothy are my favorites from the comic.

        But wouldn’t it be awkward considering she’s his ex and his other ex’s sister?

        1. Viktoria

          Counterpoint: The 3 of them map well onto Id/Ego/Superego, which is a solid recipe for a stable fictional trio that works in many situations.

        2. Coatl

          Well, we just have to wait for it to happen.

        3. Dante

          Wow. I was joshing down on the thread but you’ve presenting a solid, solid point. By themselves Danny and Dorothy were quite insipid. Their entire chemistry changes if you add Sal.

        4. Coatl

          The result is disturbing and exciting

        5. Dante

          Mobius Double Reacharound of (s)Ex: Danny finally steals Walky’s ex, who is his ex. He has now two girlfriends. One of them is Walky’s sister, who looks like Dorothy’s ex whom she misses except way hotter. Everyone turns out to be bisexual.

          Everyone wins.

        6. StClair

          help, I’ve gone all cross-eyed.

      2. David DeLaney

        Plot reverse-half-twist: she becomes the seventh wheel connecting them and Joe/Joyce

        –Dave, the spreadsheets come in extremely handy for scheduling purposes

        1. Dante

          Is this how those city-wide polycules manage? O.O

    2. BBCC

      Jennifer was originally coming to speak to the twins about their parents before she saw Dorothy. She’s probably just here to talk to them before she goes.

    3. Thag Simmons

      Sal is like an actually trained singer, bringing her along is just asking to be made to feel insecure about your own performance.

    4. Archieve

      Jennifer originally came to tell either Sal or Walky something so she probably still wants to do that first though maybe she also thinks having Sal for karaoke will make it cool?

    5. Mark

      Jennifer, having decided on a “solution”, is ignoring the question of whether Dorothy is actually engaging with it, and is assembling the cast to enact it.

    6. furubatsu

      I was gonna note Jennifer needs a turn off like Danny around after her interactions with Ruth but then I remembered in like, her second week here she almost slept with Danny so who knows.

    7. clif

      Coatl – Jennifer wants to talk to Sal about the parent situation. Not going to search for the link on account of I’m lazy. Personal speculation is that Jennifer may be the only one they told what they were doing on campus.

    8. Tan

      Other people have already noted that Jennifer is looking for Sal to fulfil her original purpose of speaking to one or both of the Walkerton twins.

      However I am now so enamored with the idea of Jennifer+Ruth and Dorothy+Sal having a karaoke double-date that I will even brush past that this would be essentially committing a war crime against Danny for really no reason when he has been nothing but a good egg.

      1. David DeLaney

        counterpoint: madam, he PLAYS a UKULELE

  14. HueSatLight

    crunchy

  15. Nono

    Is that astounding dork as in “they’re a dork… but they’re kinda cool” or “wow, they’re freakishly dork, look at the size of their dorkitude”?

    1. Laura

      The second one.

      1. Archieve

        Yep after insisting she was cool and then uncertainly saying “kareoke?” The second statement was the only option.

        1. Daibhid C

          Also, the fact it’s Malaya saying it means the second one is the only option.

  16. Mel

    “You could be popular among dorks. A Dork Queen.”
    Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point

    1. Chaucer59

      Are you saying Jennifer doesn’t know Mary?

      1. Dante

        Mary doesn’t count as a person (??)

        1. Mel

          I’ve protectively scabbed over the memory of Mary’s existence

        2. Dante

          +1, I’m ever only forcibly reminded by the Commentariat when someone needs to mention “Worst Person”.

    2. anon

      I feel like actual dorks would admit to being so , wear it with pride, ‘hell yeah i’m a dork queen’, if anything malaya would ‘respect’ that more versus her ‘popular’ queen bee attitude since that’d be ‘fakey’ to her lol

      1. Dante

        OH YEAH! We’ve watched it happen and it was awesome.

  17. Erica

    Nothing says “not a dork” like telling people how popular you are

    1. anon

      i’m surprised no one’s called her out on it (other than ruth mocking/ruining her cheer outfit) of it being like “Anyone who says “i’m popular in high school”” is not something actually worth bragging about anymore” or so

      1. Bash

        Daisy took her to task about it early on, but it didn’t stick.

      2. HueSatLight

        That was the general attitude in Read, everyone in Forrest being impressed was something that made it weird.

  18. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Malaya: You are just Slightly above the average dork, be proud.

  19. DailyBrad

    I mean, Jennifer adores Kit Fisto. That’s pretty dorky.

  20. jeffepp

    “And, I’m in, you son of a…”

    “I didn’t ask you.”

    What part of ‘I’m in’ didn’t you understand? Dork!”

  21. Chaucer59

    I would have gone for “colossal dork,” but I’m vicious.

  22. Marvelman

    I got the Charlotte’s Web reference!

  23. UrsulaDavina

    Let’s face it the coolest person in that room at the moment is Fuckface and yes he is there and he is also with Carla, Fuckface is so cool that he can manipulate space and time to be everywhere everyplace at anytime all at once. Fuckface is not a god beacuse is he too cool to be diety no other deties acknowlede him and fear him! Entire pantheons across multiple multivariate recognize the unbridled charisma that is Fuckface!

    1. UrsulaDavina

      My auto correct change multiverse to multivariate but Fuckface is multivariate being and singular being! The turtles acknowledges that it is not turtles all the way down it is Fuckface all the way up down and in all directions!

  24. Laura

    *Plays “Sad today” on the hacked waiting-room muzak*

  25. Viktoria

    The thing about Malaya is that we don’t see her LIKING anything. She judges others and tears them down, especially when they’re about to have fun, but even with her GF and Roller Derby, she doesn’t show that she enjoys it too much. That’d be uncool.

    And that just makes her an anti-fun character. When she appears, all we know for sure is that the average mood of the strip is about to take a downturn.

    1. HueSatLight

      Roller Derby is something dorks go watch.

    2. Coatl

      I won’t lie that her “sincerity” towards Jennifer is gratifying, but we are not going to deny that someone must stop her or that life itself gives him the deadliest blow of reality that rearranges her neurons.

    3. Mturtle7

      She likes making people mad at her! I vaguely remember her grinning with smug satisfaction when she explaining to Joe in detail how many people they could piss off by sleeping together. Actually, from what I recall of the Slipshine, she showed much more enjoyment from walking down the hallway with Joe and drinking in his dorm-mates’ horrified reactions than she showed during the actual sex. Which is pretty good evidence for my point, I think.

  26. BBCC

    LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!

  27. Amelie Wikström

    “Heartbreaking: The worst person you know has a good point”

  28. Francoinblanco

    funny, this is the second or third time someone knocks on the door and they want to talk to Sal, not you. (Carla wanted Fuckface, not you)

  29. I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams

    Malaya! I fucking love Malaya! Everybody likes Malaya, right gang? (gets pelted with tomatoes)

    1. Mark

      Splat!

    2. smolgrlboi

      Malaya rules I don’t understand why she gets so much hate when MARY exists.

  30. Suet

    Maybe more of a dork goddess.

    Of course Malaya is kara-okay with it, betcha Malaya’s folks have some mad singing chops. Wonder who else in DoA would be able to sing well?

    1. Laura

      Um, SAL! And DANNY!

    2. Mturtle7

      Surprisingly enough, Beef.

  31. Steelbright

    See, when Malaya calls Sal a faker, it’s annoying, but when they call Jennifer a dork, it’s hilarious

    1. clif

      Yes, and … ?

    2. Mturtle7

      Yes, exactly! You get it!

    3. StClair

      Because Sal isn’t, and Jennifer is.

  32. sdrainbow

    malaya continues to the the only light of truth in this comic

  33. cbwroses

    Huh.
    Just realized that they have almost the exact same hairstyle.
    Considering the personality traits that they share, it’s an interesting coincidence (within the confines of the story as who knows if Willis did it deliberately).

  34. Hazel

    Predicting that Sal is going to enjoy watching Malaya ritually disembowel (figurative) Jennifer, and thereby gain a new appreciation for them.

  35. Archieve

    Jennifer might have been fine if she hadn’t felt the need to say she had “cool things with to do with friends” in panel four.

  36. Archieve

    Though she lost the minute she reacted to Malayas trolling.

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      The is true, you show your ass the minute you give them the idea your care.

  37. Amós Batista

    Is that real Karaoke is a dork thing. Depending on country, karaoke is a place for popular people.

    1. Zaxares

      Yeah, was just thinking that. Over in Asia, going to karaoke is like EXPECTED as part of after-hours mingling with your coworkers and such.

      1. Daibhid C

        Speaking as someone whose main social activity is after-hours mingling with his co-workers (but not karaoke), that really sounds like something a dork would do.

        1. Daibhid C

          (From a Westeren perspective.)

    2. HueSatLight

      Malaya is just being disagreeable. The only reason the commentariat thinks its a sick burn is because of how much people hate Jennifer no matter what she does.

  38. thakoru

    Sal is fully not in the room.

  39. Firseal

    Oh god I’m on Malaya’s side, if not her vocabulary. This is, like a stop sign that replaced the word STOP with a tangerine, a bad sign.

  40. milu

    ….now kiss?

    1. ValdVin

      You’re thinking of a different dork there to see Sal.

      1. Thag Simmons

        Malaya does kind of seem like Jennifer’s type though

  41. M!a

    Oh hey, wait’ll Billifer tries to whip out the ex-cheerleader card. That will be epic.

  42. Rabisch

    Say whether you want about Malaya being a rude, annoying nuisance. But she can recognise a dork when she sees one.

  43. torrent29

    Just how big is this dorm room?!?

    1. clif

      It’s bigger on the inside.

      1. David DeLaney

        it contains Malaya’s ego

        –Dave, the calculations are left to the reader

  44. Grayfinity

    Jenn, please, I can’t.

    Someone needed to humble the crud outta her. Glad Malaya’s here.

  45. Smooti

    Hadn’t occurred to me until this point that Jennifer absolutely needs a Malaya in her life. Someone to keep her grounded, y’know?

    1. Mturtle7

      I mean, I agree, but also I hasten to add this is kind of like saying what Jennifer really needs is a punch in the face. It’s technically true, but keep in mind this would not really be a positive force or a recipe for a healthy relationship!

      1. Nevermaker

        It might be efficient in small doses

      2. Smooti

        Listen this wasn’t intended as a shipping thing, I would also support Malaya just punching her in the face

        And maybe also make out, since that’s kinda Billie’s style

        1. Mturtle7

          I wasn’t intending it as a shipping thing either, just a friend-shipping kind of thing, but in hindsight I can see how I phrased it poorly.

          You continue to not be wrong, though

          On both counts

  46. Nothri

    Not only did Billie walk right into that one, I feel like she had to move past several large signs that said “warning: you are walking into a trap!!!” In big red letters.

    1. Nothri

      Hell by the end what she found was a sprung bear trap with a sign that read “please arm trap and then place foot in teeth”.

      1. Mturtle7

        Malaya: “Damn. I’ve never heard someone describe my gender so accurately.”

  47. Derek

    Karaoke is only dorky in the USA because it’s done in a bar in front of everyone at the establishment. Asian-style karaoke can be cool because you get your own little private room where you can order drinks, food and sing off key without being seen. If you’re one of the bad kids, you also have sex in there

    1. Roborat

      If the various mange/anime I consume is any guide, far more sex goes on there than singing.

    2. Essex

      i do karaoke here in australia in a bar in front of everyone, and i love it.

  48. Yeet

    Jennifer for the love of god you can do better than that at acting not dorky.

  49. RedComet

    Still mean etc etc but after rooming with Lucy for half a semester and seeing her intense attempts at popularity I kind of get Malaya’s Dork Queen clarification

  50. poyo

    LMAOOOOOOOOO I love Malaya

  51. DarkoNeko

    Are you really ok leaving Fuckface downstair, Malaya ?

    1. David DeLaney

      Fuckface is on the _balcony_

      –Dave, all the way across campus

  52. The Jighole Man

    is she getting a fourth person so they can sing baka mitai as a quartet?

  53. C.T. Phipps

    Note that being called a dork REALLY gets under Jennifer’s skin despite how high school it is.

    1. David DeLaney

      BECAUSE of how high school it is

  54. Nevermaker

    I gotta say, I REALLY like Malaya’s attitude when it’s directed at people I find annoying.

  55. Essex

    as someone who loves karaoke: HEY!
    as someone who thinks Jennifer is a horrible person and loves seeing her dunked on: I’ll allow it.

  56. Vukodlak

    Well shes not wrong….

  57. Axel

    if you have to assert that you’re cool and your friends are cool*, you’re more of a dork than any stereotypical dork behaviour would make you.

    *in a defensive way. there are definitely ways to be like ‘nah we’re cool,’ that are reasonable

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