197

Primal
Posted on February 24, 2012 by David M Willis

197 thoughts on “Primal”

  1. Mkvenner

    Ethan stop encougaring Mike.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Encougaring: Enabling a person to become cougar-bait.

      1. a99steaksauce

        Cougars would have a hard time with Ethan.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Unless they are male Jewish ones who will support his toy habit.

        2. Revieloutionne

          I believe we call those “daddies,” not “cougars.”

        3. Kintrex

          Bears.

  2. OhHayMike

    I’m SO not up for Ethan drama…

    1. darcos0

      That’s what shortpacked! is for

      1. Sir Robin

        Not really, when is the last time a Shortpacked storyline hasn’t revolved around Malaya? Ethan is basically a background character there now

        1. Twisted Two-face

          Yea, Shortpacked! to Ethan is like How I Met Your Mother to Ted now.

    2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Besides, “easy happiness” despite how it sounds, is a recipe for disaster when it comes down to living good life. Ethan’s real problem is he doesn’t realize this is a good thing, or a step toward turning his life around, at least.

      A drum full of Joker Gas says Shortpacked Ethan never had this epiphany. Look where that got him.

      1. Wack'd

        It got him a drum full of Joker gas, apparently, which is always good news in my book.

        1. a99steaksauce

          You can laugh about it for the rest of your life.

        2. mechaqua

          Which should be over in about 5-30 seconds.

  3. TaZZerath

    A wild Universe Primal appears!

  4. Wonder Wig

    I actually know a gay Jewish nerd! Except he lives in London…

    1. Usayasha

      I know a gay Jewish nerd, too!
      He lives in a comic book I read.
      …
      Oh, and I’m one, too.

      1. a99steaksauce

        I know a gay jewish nerd that in TWO webcomics. Ha! Beat that.

        1. Rimaslxbya

          A gay Jewish nerd that’s in two webcomics? Oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to be commenting on one of those two!

        2. Usayasha

          This one is in a Marvel comic.
          And is the son of the Scarlet Witch.
          Which, consequentially, makes him the grandson of Magneto.
          I think that definitely makes him pretty epic, even compared to Ethan.

        3. Peldari

          He and his twin are pretty awesome.

    2. SCharb

      A gay Jewish nerd who lives in London? Was it Brian Epstein?

    3. MichaelHaneline

      I used to play Dungeons & Dragons with a gay Jewish guy (which I guess would technically make him a nerd). He played a barbarian named Jewcano.

      He’s an entertainment lawyer now.

      1. Leorale

        Adorable!

        I know at least three Jewish gay-or-bi nerds, and they have other friends who match that description. Ethan should have gone to Oberlin.

  5. Icalasari

    Mike can talk with his mouth closed!?

    WILLIS! I THOUGHT THIS UNIVERSE STRIPPED THEM OF ANY AND ALL POWERS!

    1. mechaqua

      Mike’s powers transverse all universes!

      1. What?

        Mike IS THE UNIVERSE.
        All of them.
        Coincidentally, he also screwed your mom in all of them.

        1. Batman1016

          That’s not a coincidence, that’s a physical law. Like gravity or thermodynamics.

          Not to be confused with “fiscal law,” which dictates that she only cost him a nickle in each of those universes. Because that’s all your mom’s skanky poon is worth.

        2. Maycroft

          Mike bangs the universe.

        3. Wack'd

          Mike Does the Universe, the spin-off of Debbie Does Dallas.

    2. Rimaslxbya

      But he did! What he didn’t do is strip them of their talents, and Mike is a ventriloquist apparently!

      Next strip he’s going to talk to Ethan while drinking water!

    3. Valdrax

      Now that you point it out, how many people keep their mouths open while someone else is talking?

      Or are panels perhaps not simply snapshots from a camera?

    4. MichaelHaneline

      Better than him having a gaping slack jaw in every panel he talks in, like a certain comic that starts with a C and ends with trl-Alt-Delete

  6. C.

    Ethan being Jewish didn’t click in my head until now.

    1. mechaqua

      Also I know this a stereotype but is Ethan’s mom pressuring him to find a nice Jewish boy?

      1. Blue

        Yeah, one of the first things that struck me about this was that Ethan specified Jewish as one of the three things he’s looking for. It didn’t seem like something I thought would have been as much of a deal to Shortpacked!Ethan.
        Though to be honest I have no clue what Drew’s beliefs were.
        (are we going to see Drew in this universe?)

        1. Wack'd

          I know a lot of Jewish Andrews, but Wikipedia is telling me it’s a Greek name with derivatives in most languages so I guess that means nothing.

        2. Brendan

          Consider Peter and Andrew.

        3. Baroncognito

          I’m not surprised. I’m a Jewish atheist, and I’d still rather date Jewish, just because someone who was a non-Jewish atheist wouldn’t get all my jokes. My jokes need all the help they can get.

        4. Leorale

          I like this reason.

  7. mechaqua

    You know Ethan, Mike works very hard to be an ass and your making very difficult for him.

    Also Mike and Ethan are back yeah!

  8. Aizat

    Optimus Primal?

    1. f.p.

      Universe Optimus Primal, specifically.

      1. f.p.

        And actually, it frightens me to think of that redeco as old.

        1. Thomas

          DoA Ethan is only 18 years old. His perspective on the age of toys may differ from yours.

        2. f.p.

          I thought about that, but then I realized that version of the toy was released nine years ago.

  9. Uniqueantique

    And Mike will help in his own way. He isn’t one to spend much time sympathizing, so maybe he can knock Ethan out of his ‘poor me’ phase. It’s the way he’ll do it that scares ya.

    1. Aydr

      Oh, I think that there will be some knocking involved. Knocking of boots.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    You might have to settle for two out of three, Ethan.

    1. Zaratustra

      Joe is ready.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        But Ethan’s boobs ain’t epic enough to make him least an 8.

        1. Aizat

          Ethan has boobs?

        2. Blue

          Of course. Everyone has boobs! It’s just a matter of how large they are. 😛 Ethan’s probably aren’t even AA.

          (biology major sez: structurally, male and remale breast tissue are similar, at least at the start. It’s puberty hormones that cause female boob growth)

        3. f.p.

          Remale? Is that a post-op male-to-female who changed his/her mind?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          So Ethan is like Mr. Garrison then?

          OH MY!

        5. f.p.

          No, Ethan is male, but his breast tissue is similar to that of Mr. Garrison, who is remale.

    2. Crumplepunch

      Keeping the “gay” part is probably a good idea.”

  11. the underside of your mom's left thigh

    Those three things are found in the same body more frequently than simple chance would suggest, actually.

  12. Aizat

    I know the feeling. The depression part that is. I found a way to overcome them eventually.

  13. Kaylee

    I’m really liking angsty college Ethan. It kind of suits him.

  14. Blue

    *snuggles angsty Ethan*

  15. Rob London

    Oh, come on, that just came out, someone couldn’t have had that as a kid and be in university now OH GOD THAT CAME OUT NINE YEARS AGO.

  16. Bekah

    I remember my “Woe is me, I’ll never find a gay jewish nerd” phase.

    Except, instead of jewish, it was welsh. Because that matters for some reason.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s the accent you like isn’t it?

      1. Bekah

        …

        I’m Welsh.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          AH!

      2. Tualha

        A Welsh accent is indeed beautiful.

    2. Tenn

      Is your real name Daffyd? 😉

  17. Bunk

    Wait a sec… IS MIKE WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS TWO COLORS?! SINCE WHEN DOES HE DO THAT?

    1. Dierna

      No. He’s wearing a shirt that’s THREE colours!

      1. Bunk

        Nah, the third color is another shirt. He does do that I think.

    2. Rognik

      It’s OK! It’s still a dark colour. When he starts wearing vibrant colours, you should start freaking out.

      1. What?

        Vibrant colours like a bright yellow stripe across his torso?

  18. Dierna

    Ethan’s Jewish??? My! What a rather diverse cast! I don’t remember him mention being Jewish in Shortpacked…

    Poor guy will never know the wonders of bacon…sad….

    1. mechaqua

      Not all Jews Keep Kosher and I am guessing if Ethan searching for gay Jewish Guy to spend the rest of his life with i am guessing he is probably a Reformed/Progressive Jew. Reformed Judaism does not require a person to follow the dietary laws and what foods and drinks are considered Kosher are a bit less restrictive bacon salt is kosher accroding to a OK and Star-K kosher certification boards which the Union for Reformed Judaism recognizes also it has been mentioned in short packed,

      1. Dave

        Conservative Judaism (unrelated to the political affiliation; conservative Jews trend Democratic), while not having an official stance on gay marriage to my knowledge, does leave the decision of approval up to the individual. Among the Abrahamic religions, Judaism easily tops the list in support of gay marriage. The exception is the Orthodox, a minority among Jews, and since I’ve never seen Ethan with a head covering or tzitzit I’m guessing that’s not an issue for him.

        The pressure to marry within the religion is higher among conservative Jews than reformed, so if I had to guess I’d say Ethan is probably from a conservative background. Or, even if Ethan is no longer practicing and/or has been ostracized by his family, the atomic force known as Jewish guilt could easily have him convinced that marrying outside his birth faith is an impossibility. (Seriously, Jewish guilt easily rivals Catholic guilt in terms of potency.)

        Obviously I’m not Willis despite sharing his first name, so who knows how much of this will turn out to be true. I AM excited to see where this goes, since I always wondered if Ethan’s Jewish background might be used for more involved jokes in Shortpacked!, like something with the tradition of holding the afikomen hostage in return for a promised toy on Passover. Maybe niche jokes like that were a long shot, but this storyline hook looks promising too!

        1. Dave

          Oh, and the obvious sign that he’s not of a super strict denomination is that he doesn’t keep strictly kosher. Eating Chick-Fil-A chicken is evidence of that; kosher meat must come from an animal that’s been ritualistically slaughtered under Jewish supervision, with the blood then salted out; no meat that isn’t marketed (and certified) as specifically kosher is going to be kosher. Conservative Jews vary in their observance of this rule; i.e. I follow it, but many otherwise-practicing Jews of the same denomination I know don’t.

      2. mechaqua

        Reformed Judaism or at least URJ has been recognizes Same-sex marriage and has been since 1990 however reformed Rabbi’s are given the option to preform or not preform the ceremony, but they must recognize the marriage. I still think Ethan is a Progressive/Reformed Jew due to Indiana’s close proximity to Cincinnati Ohio and which is the center of Reformed Judaism. also reformed Judaism is the largest Jewish denomination in America and Indiana only has a Jewish population of around 17,000 unless Ethan came from out of state which i don’t think is the case(many Jews attend Indiana University) probability would suggest he is Reformed. also it is just as likely that as a reformed Jew he may be pressured into marrying another Jew.

        In recent years Reformed Judaism has come under fire for not being authentic, due to Reformed Temples preform nearly the entire service in the vernacular, recognizing patrilineal decent, only preforming Friday night services ect. So Reformed Judaism has been conducting more of the services Hebrew, still most of it is in the vernacular, also Rabbi’s who once preformed same-sex or interfaith marriages has dropped.

        Also though not relevant the body that is most associated with kosher or kashrut certification is the Orthodox Union (The O U) most if not all Jewish denominations(the Hasidim can be weird about this) recognize their authority in this area. if OU its most definitions kosher if its OK or Star-K Orthodox Jews will not eat it and reformed and Conservative will debate it.

    2. Peruhain

      Oh, I know a few Jewish people who eat bacon even though they don’t eat pork.

      1. a99steaksauce

        Of course, everyone loves bacon. No exception.

        1. Zap Rowsdower

          Except for all those exceptions.

          I don’t keep kosher and I STILL can’t stand the taste of the stuff.

        2. Baroncognito

          Likewise. Bacon nauseates me.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          No pork, bacon, crackling or ham for me either, the nearest I get to eating pig products is fritz and certain smallgoods like salami and pepperoni.

        4. Kernanator

          Shame. Bacon is one of the great flavor wonders of the world.

    3. Tualha

      Ethan being Jewish was mentioned earlier in DoA, when Joyce was planning to date him. Actually, I think someone told her that his last name meant he was probably Jewish.

      The bit about bacon reminds me of a joke. A priest and a rabbi who know each other are in a doctor’s waiting room. Priest decides to have a little fun, so he talks about the yummy bacon he had for breakfast that morning. The rabbi knows what he’s up to, so he waits a bit, then mentions how nice it is to have a sexy wife like his.

      1. murrkitteh

        OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! BURN!

      2. Baroncognito

        The way I heard that joke is:

        A Rabbi and a Priest are in a train compartment, and they get to talking. Eventually the Priest asks, “Did you ever have bacon?” and the Rabbi respond “Yes, it was a while ago. I did it mainly out of politeness, I didn’t want to insult my host. These days I’ve worked out polite ways to avoid it.” The priest asks “It was good, wasn’t it?” and the Rabbi responds, “Yes, it was quite good.” Conversation continues and after a while the Rabbi asks “So, father, tell me; Did you ever have sex?” and the priest says, “Well, yes. A long time ago, before I took my vows. I thought it was love but it didn’t last.” and the Rabbi responds “Better than bacon, wasn’t it?”

    4. dragoonchris

      http://www.shortpacked.com/2005/comic/book-2-pulls-the-drama-tag/05-faztivus/den/

    5. Rognik

      I think Ethan being Jewish and gay is a pretty big problem if his family is that strict. One of the laws in Deuteronomy is that two men can’t lay together. But it says nothing about two women, so lesbians are awesome.

      Huh. I’m certain I made this same comment somewhere else. Not sure if it was earlier in this strip or on Shortpacked.

      1. CJ

        OK, so they do it standing up.

      2. mechaqua

        I think Ethan being Gay has more to do with the fact he lives in Indiana rather then him being Jewish, unless Dave is right and Ethan is conservative then it may be an issue, although Conservative Judaism has no clear stance on same-sex marriage, Reformed Judaism is okay with it.

  19. Kindof Awesome

    I know a gay Jewish nerd.
    HOLY CRAP AND HIS NAME IS ETHAN AAAHHH

    1. NF

      You can only freak out if he is a gay Jewish nerd named Ethan who is obsessed with action toys.

  20. Touch of Grey

    Joe, I think it’s time for you to begin your experimental phase of college.

    1. Jason

      It never occurred to me to ship Ethan/Joe until the third panel.

  21. meanderling

    and heeeere’s Joe’s cue. I mean, he’s gotta have worked his way through the bimbos by now, right?

    Oh wait, this is college. Damn.

    1. begbert2

      Also, unlike in Roomies (where he fled from Sarah), this Joe seems perfectly willing to keep going back to the same wells.

  22. Cat

    Ha! Try being a lesbian searching for someone to spend her life with who’s pagan, a huge nerd, and is willing to put up with my quirks and that I can stand long enough to be happy. Like that would ever happen. And if it did, the second we said I do a bus would fly through the window and land on her, killing her instantly.

    1. wynne

      I know a pagan lesbian nerd! She loves Gauls.

      Wait a sec… Kelley, is that you?

    2. AndaisQ

      See, my friend needs a reasonably attractive Conservadox or Orthodox Jewish doctor lesbian whose personality she can stand. (Yes, she’s set on a doctor.) When questioned “does she really have to be Orthodox” she claimed that fully Conservative and Reform Jews “aren’t real Jews” at which point I was forced to physically restrain myself from face-punchings.

      1. Tualha

        Well, there are lots of lesbian pagans. I used to know a bunch of them and go to their post-ritual potlucks. One of them also went to Quaker meeting and married a non-pagan Quaker she met there, who’s a mathematician so I guess probably somewhat nerdy.

        OTOH trying to find an Orthodox Jewish lesbian strikes me as a losing proposition. Apparently your friend is one, and I once met a gay man who was Orthodox enough not to use electricity on Friday night, but seriously, how do they reconcile traditional teachings with being gay? (Granted, Leviticus says nothing about lesbians, but still.)

        1. Rowen Morland

          Is a potluck something to do with food or is it something awesome, pagan and kinky?

        2. Historyman68

          Lesbian orthodox Jewish pagan!

      2. mechaqua

        This isn’t actually the Stance of the Orthodox Union because they are not the majority. they will accept a Jew as a Jew as long as their mother is Jewish.

        This attitude tends to prevalent among the Orthodox community. That we reformed or conservative Jews are some how not Jewish, even though we are from my observations this doesn’t seem to be the attitude of majority Orthodox Jews as most of the Orthodox Jews i talked to recognize me as a fellow member of the tribe despite being a Reformed Jew.

  23. Hythrain

    Huh, so Optimus Primal in this universe had all his blue replaced with red. Noted. 😀

    1. Baron Fel

      Nah, that’s the Universe toy. It’s exactly like that in our universe to (his weapons are a yellow color.) He’s actually my second fave use of that mold. The only better is the 10th anniversary remold that made the head look like the cartoon.

      Also the universe one has a great mutant head.

    2. f.p.

      Funny you should mention the word “universe”…

  24. wynne

    Silly Ethan, interfaith relationships are all the rage now! Just ask my parents…

  25. Noel Schornhorst

    I see a few comments for Joe/Ethan, but I’m hoping for Danny/Ethan. Danny’ll forget all about what’sername after some Batman/Riddler playtime!

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      But is Danny a jewish transformers fan?

  26. BugBerry

    I know at least two gay Jewish nerds.

    1. Tualha

      I know of one, can’t say I really know him. Someone I met at a science fiction convention, so at least that nerdy. Had a t-shirt showing ten heads from behind, nine black yarmulkes, one pink: “There’s one in every minyan” 🙂

  27. iggzy

    The sad thing is this is essentially being a friend/supportive for Mike. Like how much I know Mike is totally a dick, but the amount that I knew him from Shortpacked, this is the lighter side of Mike’s dickishness

    1. Linkara

      I was gonna say, Mike while still an asshole here, is more supportive of his friends… well, supportive for Mike, anyway. He engages them in conversation and lets them vent to him and doesn’t really say anything particularly insulting.

      1. tbf

        Original Mike is pretty one dimensional. That and his supernatural assholery don’t work with DoA’s realism. It’s probably why we don’t see him much.

        1. a99steaksauce

          I think he was atleast 1.5 dimensional.

        2. mechaqua

          So in DoA is he like 2.125 dimensional? I mean Mike’s done some dick-ish things in DoA but no were close to Shortpacked( I am still trying to get through It’s Walky so i cannot fully comment on that comic) and as Linkara said he has shown to be slightly supportive, and seems to listen to people, hell he bought Walky the pajama jeans for men (maybe). Though regarding the jeans Mike seems has some ulterior motive what that motive is i don’t know.

  28. turkishproverb

    Go on. Bang. You know you want to.

  29. Usayasha

    What do you call gay Jews?
    Fruit Jews.
    What do you call attractive Jews?
    Juicy Jews.
    What do you call Jersey Shore Jews?
    Orange Jews.

    1. GirlyQ

      My nickname on the gay softball team was “Jewcy Fruit”

  30. GirlyQ

    Ethan and I have the same problem! Webcomics characters, they’re just like us. I always resent the way people seem to assume that because I’m gay, I’m super willing to roll over and give up on the Jewish part of my identity. I need matzo ball soup and to never have a Christmas tree in my damn house!

    1. Tualha

      Of course, he could simply find a gay nerd who’s willing to convert to Judaism. It worked for Bear Bergman 🙂

      He could also learn to accept who he is, which can help a lot with depression.

      1. begbert2

        He doesn’t seem to have a problem with who he it. His issue seems to be with who everybody else isn’t.

  31. Lynnix

    My friend told me that 98% of the world’s Jews support gay marriage. I’m going to assum that at least 25% are actually gay(or bi or pan or what have you in the quiltbag). SO! His chances of finding a nice jewish boy that likes jewish boys is not that impossible as he thinks! 😀

    1. Aydr

      …25%? yeah, not a chance. The oft-cited “10%” figure for the population as a whole is undoubtedly an overestimate. One-quarter of any given population that isn’t located in a gay resort is a massive overestimate.

      1. Inarai

        It depends a bit on what sort of definition is in play – it’s not like this is a binary subject, after all.

        Actually, those studies use self-identification, so it can be said without a doubt that their numbers are low – it’s not like there’s some kind of “gay test” they can apply, after all.

        1. Aydr

          http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/gay-people-count-so-why-not-count-them-correctly/2011/04/07/AFDg9K4C_story.html

          I’m bisexual myself, and while the figures that get thrown around have certainly been comforting to me at times… I think it would be just plain naive to believe it. I really can’t see the LGBT population being as large as 10% of the world.

  32. Ridureyu

    Hey, I understand this totally. My tastes are pretty particular – I want a lady who can time-travel. Although she’s kinda late by now. I mean, she should’ve been here already…

    1. Tristan J

      She will be have been with you, but due to it causing an error in the time stream, she’ll have to go back and fix it, which she’s already done from your perspective.

      So what I’m saying is that you’ll die alone, and it’ll save the future. Sorry.

      1. Ridureyu

        Still better than my current options!

  33. Tristan J

    I thought at first this exchange invalidated my Mike/Ethan Back Story Bang, but if you turn your head and squint you can just make out that they tried a relationship, only for it to fail completely. Now they’re just friends.

    Coincidentally, I think I’m insane now.

    1. ryan

      and it all happened while joyce, dorothy, sierra, and mary were at church.

  34. CP

    Easy…happiness? Since when is that a thing?

    1. begbert2

      It’s a euphamism for sex.

  35. sockv

    Alright! Three panels of nothing and two panels of mike looking (and probably being) awesome!

    1. vsophi

      Are you denying Ethan’s existence? o_o

      1. wickero

        Whose existence? Mike’s the only one in this strip… you’re obviously seeing things.

  36. Kelvin

    I hope I’m not being too forward, but Mr. Willis, PLEASE create a gay jewish nerd that Ethan can spend his life with. XD

    Or actually, not. Just give him something. X) It’s hard to see any of my favorite characters depressed.

    1. begbert2

      On the other hand, the guy’s a freshman. The odds that he’ll be spending his life with anyone he meets now are low. Are you sure you want to expend such a character so early?

      1. Kelvin

        True…>_> But at least give him a puppy. I don’t want Ethan to be unhappy.

        1. Alex Stritar

          A gay jewish nerd puppy? XD

        2. Leorale

          D’aww! It likes other male puppies, and it only chews on kosher transformers.

        3. Kelvin

          I can see that! :3 :3 :3

  37. tudza

    Why not add a height requirement while you’re at it? Does he have to be left-handed?

    1. tbf

      Religious preference and compatible personality really aren’t unreasonable things to want out of a mate.

  38. AndysDrawings

    I completely forgot which comic this was when it came up in my RSS feed.

    Incidentally, did you know the DOA comics are getting resized to the Shortpacked! width in the RSS?

  39. Tenn

    It never occurred to me until this strip that Ethan and Joe have those two things in common. I mean, I knew they were Jewish and nerds, I just didn’t compare them like that. Of course, neither one made a big deal about being Jewish, and Joe isn’t very outspoken about his nerdiness either.

    1. Björn

      *IF* Ethan and Joe get to know each other and Ethan starts to pursue Joe, I will assume this was planned from the beginning. Willis invented Jewish nerd Joe in the 80:s and Jewish nerd Ethan in 2005, and then put them both in this alternate universe in 2010 for the sole purpose of creating this drama. 😉

  40. Cabooceratops

    Oh hai there Universe Optimus Primal.

  41. AJBulldis

    Don’t be depressed and seeking, Ethan. Be an angry confirmed bachelor like me! You’ll never find anyone who will accept you. Hate them for it.

    1. begbert2

      That’s my life plan too! The big hurdle at this point is saving up enough money for a house, so that I’ll be able to yell at kids to get off the lawn.

      1. a99steaksauce

        Hehe. When you get it I want to meet your lawn for that purpose.

  42. Jimmy

    Geez the depression really hits too close to home with me. I’ve been so down about everything (including relationships) lately it’s a wonder anyone wants to talk to me at all.

    1. SarahLost

      your gravatar makes you precious when you say that, i hear it in this voice i’ve given Mike… but big hugs, it is Friday, and we are here sharing the ups and downs of the Willis multiverse. i see you.

      1. Jimmy

        Thank you very much, I appreciate that.

        1. a99steaksauce

          Have a wonderous weekend.

        2. Jimmy

          You too!

  43. Kernanator

    Well, at least this answers the question of whether or not Ethan is into Transformers.

    Also, ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN! CHOO-CHOO!

  44. Reference Desk

    You might already know this because of all the research that you did on the IU campus, but there is actually a GLBT Jewish student group called Keshet. It’s part of the Hillel center; a friend of mine was really involved while we were doing library school there.

    1. begbert2

      But are they nerds? Eh? Eh??

      1. Reference Desk

        Well, since my friend was a Library Science person like me, I’d say yes, there were some nerds.

  45. Scruffleupagus

    I would be your gay, Jewish nerd, Ethan. It wouldn’t cost you a nickel.

  46. Derek

    I though gay people were not very big on religion? Especially not Abrahamic religions since they condemn homosexuality?
    I didn’t think it would something in Ethan’s “required” list 😮

    1. f.p.

      There are actually quite a few gays who subscribe to “liberal” versions of Christianity and Judaism. If you can trim your beard, eat shellfish, work on the Sabbath, and have sex before marriage, why shouldn’t you be able to bang people of the same sex, right?

      And then you’ve got really unhappy gay people who subscribe to orthodox versions of Judaism and Christianity, who believe either that God will “fix” them, or that it’s alright for them to be gay just as long as they don’t actually *do* anything about it–meaning either they subject themselves to an unpleasant heterosexual marriage, or remain completely celibate. Andy Warhol was one of the latter, at least supposedly.

      1. turkishproverb

        There’s also the fact that being Jewish is about as much cultural as religious.

  47. Aydr

    I’m telling you guys now, the slash contest is to celebrate Mike and Ethan hooking up.

    1. turkishproverb

      I support this fools errand.

      1. Aydr

        If I keep saying it, it will happen.

  48. Jesse

    What’s with Optimus Primal’s weird-ass color scheme?

    1. dragoonchris

      It’s a repaint from Transformers Universe Toyline

  49. LiC

    Is it just me to does Mike seem less… cruel in this universe sometimes?

    Poor Ethan… I know how he feels, except for the jewish part. I’m surprised that Ethan has limited himself to jewish gay guys though.

    Meanwhile, do you suppose this version of Ethan still have a toy obsession like in the main universe? Or is the fact he came out at an earlier age and seems to think a bit more about the idea of relationships imply he’s not putting all his attention on toy purchases?

    1. Tristan J

      I think, with Mike, it’s at least partly because the strip is more realistic and has a more specific focus than the Walkyverse, so he can’t be as over-the-top.

      Like, in the Walkyverse, Ethan and Mike got stuck in the Amazon, so Mike can do things like build a tent, only to needlessly burn it down. Here, all he has to work with is people talking about their feelings. He had to wait for Joyce to come along before he could even punch someone.

      Of course I find this Mike more cruel and unsympathetic. Walkyverse!Mike occasionally does things to improve his friends lives, even if it’s through cruelty. DOA!Mike so far hasn’t done anything like that (Not that he’s not entertaining).

      1. Rognik

        To be fair, Mike is still a secondary character and we haven’t seen him take an active role in the story aside from maybe chaperoning Joyce and Joe’s date. He did help drag Amber away from her computer for some social time, so that’s something.

        1. Tristan J

          True and also true.

        2. Aydr

          I think this universes’ Mike is much less cruel. He seems to actually care about his friends a lot more in DoA, even if he’s still a grudging asshole about it.

  50. dragoonchris

    I’m guessing Ethan grew up with Beast Wars and Amber grew up with Ninja Turtles reruns on USA Cartoon Express seeing they were born in the mid 90s.

    1. begbert2

      Do we even know what year it is?

      1. Rognik

        It’s firmly grounded in 20XX. XX is a floating year that matches the year it was posted and/or whatever Willis feels like making it.

  51. Rognik

    I must be tired when I read this strip. At first glance, I thought he was talking about “circumcision” in the 4th panel, not “circumstances”. Hey, he’s lamenting about being Jewish, I think it’s a valid assumption to make!

  52. Pier

    …. and then they make out (ship those two already!!) 😀

  53. Sentientmonkey

    Well, I guess I have one less criterion than Ethan, not being Jewish. Still, in my life I’ve only met one guy who fit and we were terrible together. Relationships are depressing.

  54. Jesse

    Ethan, son, I’m confused. Why do you have to find a Jewish guy? Or a nerd? Just go find someone with an even more bizarre hobby than collecting Transformers, and you’re set.

    Well, maybe collecting earlobes is out.

  55. Zem

    Because nerds can only date nerds. God save us from mixing the cultural gene pool.
    (Who thinks about lifetime commitment in high school anyway?)

    But now I’m curious. How does being Jewish fit into the logic? I thought that church directly opposed homosexual partnership and marriage. He can’t possibly be thinking, I’ll find another Jewish gay boy and it’s all gonna be fine.

    1. wickero

      @Zem,
      Nerds can date whomever they want, but I think Ethan actually WANTS to be with a fellow nerd. The effects of him NOT being with a fellow nerd are shown in the Drew storyarc of Shortpacked, and it did not go well.
      He’s in college, but almost everyone thinks about lifetime commitment in highschool.
      Being gay does not stop him from being Jewish.

    2. Rognik

      I think finding the Jewish criterium is a cultural carry-over. As being Jewish is passed down through the mother, they always want their sons to marry a Jewish girl so their children can be Jewish. Since he’s not interested in women, he has to find a gay man. By some twisted logic, the fact that his mate must also be Jewish got transferred with it, and thus a gay Jewish nerd is his ideal mate.

  56. Bumps

    He has evidently never been to Brandeis.

  57. PedanticJerkass

    Something’s got Ethan’s depressed? Maybe it’s time for a little of Mike’s rape therapy.

  58. Kernanator

    I guess these are Ethan’s

    *sunglasses*

    Primal instincts.

  59. Beachfox

    Plus you’re going to go grey prematurely, so you have a time-limit to finding happiness…

  60. justafriend

    I’m gay and a nerd, but I lack the jew part, but i can understand Ethans plight, gay nerds and gamers, belonging to two groups not respected in either, though it’s getting better.

  61. Ninja's In My Oven

    I can’t help it; I’m still shipping MikexEthan. Will it ever happen? Probably not.

  62. Gitai

    It’s not that hard. You just find a gentile gay nerd and convert him to Judaism and marry him. That’s what I did.

  63. Taigan

    I can totally relate… Except I’m not gay, Jewish, or that into transformers.

  64. SgtNumnum

    Nothing is complete without a Transformers reference,seriously, it never is

  65. RandomPerson12

    Hmm…Optimus Primal+Paint Applications=Monkey Master. I’M A GENIUS!

  66. B.D

    If Ethan is really that depressed (it’s either mild or he’s getting over it – he’s pretty functional), props to Mike for continuing to hang out with him.

  67. acoraz

    So Ethan and Joe are gonna hook up over a mutual love for Transformers, right?

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