132

Exploits
Posted on February 6, 2013 by David M Willis
Oh, right, this shirt can exist.  I'd actually forgotten.  I AM GREAT AT BEING A WEB ENTREPRENEUR

132 thoughts on “Exploits”

  1. Skull025

    DAMN YOU WILLIS! WHERE IS MY RESOLUTION?!?

    1. NCP19

      The joke’s on us. Yesterday’s comic WAS the resolution…

      1. Wack'd

        to be a part of the two-tone revolution.

        1. Yotomoe

          a Dance Dance revolution.

        2. Anon

          The people cry, ‘where’s our resolution’
          As the comic descends in devolution
          Willis brings forth more convolution

          Her heart denied, Ruth turns to prostitution
          Every lover merely a substitution
          for Billie, her heart cries at their dissolution

          The people yell, “its time for revolution”
          Against Willis, they cry for retribution
          Inspiring others, to join their persecution
          He rewrites it, facing execution

          Ruth finds Billie, seeking absolution
          As they make up, Willis is locked in an institution
          Where he’s forced to, write this solution.

          To Skull025, this is my contribution
          Thanks for reading this shitty elocution

          -Anon(ution)

        3. MeHael

          Very well done. I’m hearing Willis saying ‘Nevermore’ and I’m pretty sure there’s a parody of Poe’s “The Raven” in there somewhere…

        4. LuckyStar7

          This is the best. Just an enjoyable punch to the FFAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE.

        5. Neospector

          FALCON…!
          Water please.

        6. Skull025

          *Sarcastic slow clap* That. . . Was beautiful!

    2. ASmellyOgre

      What, you expected that entire situation to solve itself before anything else went on? What comic have you been reading?

      1. Skull025

        No. . . I just had an innocent, small glimmer of hope that it would. . .

      2. Pooga

        Exactly. Although I’m surprised he threw Joe in here. I thought we’d see a reveal of Jason rejecting Sal’s much more enthusiastic advances from… two weeks ago? Has it really been that long? To be honest, I half expected to see that ship founder between Ruth’s kiss and Billie’s rejection.

        Don’t get me wrong. Of the many ships launched in the Walkyverse, Jason/Sal was the one I most wanted to see work. In the DoAverse… I’m not feeling it at this point. It’s building, but like Ruth/Billie, it’s way too early and one partner seems no where near ready to accept that shift in their relationship. Of course, nothing can sink a ship faster than trying to launch it before it’s… um… see-worthy? Sorry. Metaphor failure.

        Still, this is a David Willis strip. If more than 25% of the relationships are progressing in a positive, conflict-free direction, he’s not doing his job.

        1. N

          If you try to unfurl the sails before the mast has been raised, you’re not going to get very far.

          MIght snap it off, there, Sal. Looks a bit delicate.

        2. Aidenn

          My prediction is that the next we see of Jason and Sal is a Jason being very awkward the next day

    3. Wonder Wig

      Looks like it’s 1,000px × 333px.

    4. Aizat

      Friday.

    5. Kernanator

      Two years later, when the movie comes out.

    6. Tan

      It will be tomorrow in-universe time. So sometime next month maybe.

    7. Andrusi

      Have you tried looking in Control Panel? It should be under Display.

  2. NCP19

    More conversations should begin with “I assume your exploits last night were philanderous?”

    1. Resne

      Dat sass.

      1. Petre Pan

        Gravatar/comment match win.

  3. David Herbert

    The bro code taught me it’s cool as long as you never make eye contact.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s ok if you’re in a 3-way. It’s not gay when it’s in a 3-way. With a honey in the middle there’s some leeway. The area’s gray in a 1-2-3-way!

      1. Simian Bros

        Better hope there WAS a honey in the middle, for Joe’s sake.

    2. DEG1377

      … “unless balls are touching”.

      1. Andy

        If swords don’t cross, balls don’t touch, and eyes don’t meet, it’s all good.

        Unless you want it to be gay, in which case do all of the above.

    3. Gargamel

      … Whatever you happen to be ‘doing’ at the time, make sure you high five at the end and shout “NO HOMO”.
      Cos otherwise you may catch ‘the gay’.

  4. Count Dracula

    Willis could easily dedicate a whole comic to these two guys being roommates.

    1. Yotomoe

      And then Willis took this comment, and showed it to himself 15 years ago.

      1. Wonder Wig

        Clearly the Doctor had something to do with this.

      2. Aizat

        And his past self’s head blows up and thus wiping future Willis out of existence. That or Past Willis made a different webcomic instead of Roomies!

  5. Kernanator

    People rarely ask questions because they’re often afraid of the answers.

  6. Aizat

    CALLED IT!

  7. Raibean

    Dina dug it

  8. Johnpocalypse

    Wait… was Dinah there? NOBODY CALLED THAT!

    1. taekwondogirl

      We’ve covered this already. It’s a shirt that multiple people have. Dina’s shirt would in no way whatsoever fit Joe.

      1. DEG1377

        But if it did…..

      2. f.p.

        Don’t be too sure. Joe has a natural knack for stretching things out.

        1. LWS3

          And Mike will stretch things out with your mother for a nickel…

      3. MilesDryden

        Could you possibly provide links to strips showing other characters wearing the shirt? A “digitshirt” tag might be in order…

        1. Tylertlat

          Until I see another character wear that shirt, it will remain the wind in my Dina/Joe ship’s sails.
          Though tbh, if I do see others wearing that shirt, I will assume that Joe just passed it along, like some sort of sexually-transmitted -memorabilia.

  9. Yotomoe

    “Now that I think about it…I’m pretty sure it was all dudes.”

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    “What kind of threesome did I have last night?”

    The kind so terrible that your mind blocked it from your memory.

    1. Aizat

      Or it could be so awesome that it could give you amnesia.

      1. Yotomoe

        Or maybe it didn’t happen and you just dreamed about it.

        1. Aizat

          How did you get into my mind?

        2. Yotomoe

          I go in there all the time, take out the answers to tests and your girlfriend’s birthdays.

        3. Aizat

          If you are in my mind, you know that I don’t have a girlfriend. Could find one that wants me around.

        4. Yotomoe

          oh, you had one. I just took all information of her out of your mind. She’s kinda pissed that you haven’t contacted her in several months.

        5. Aizat

          Wait, is she a hot librarian with black hair and knows 50 ways to kill people with her bare hands?

        6. Yotomoe

          63. I took the last 13 out because they were too horrific.

        7. Aizat

          Psyche! I made her up since I was 12.

        8. GrrArg42

          So YOU’RE the one she left me for!
          I shall have your head on a spike you deviant!

    2. Rex Hondo

      A drunken one. Thus, the hangover and the foggy memory.

  11. Davriel

    Clearly, Joe and Dinah have two very different interpretations of that shirt.

  12. Chaz

    Oh no.
    Dina is going to see that shirt and try to talk to Joe.
    I’m hiding.

    1. Audiophillie

      …oh god, I didn’t even consider that possibility… *sigh*

    2. Pinja

      I hope Joe doesn’t break Dina >:

      1. Chaz

        … We are talking mentally, right?

        1. The E-man

          I NEED BRAIN BLEACH

        2. Pinja

          In all the ways

      2. ArkhamTexan

        I don’t know what you guys are talking about. Sounds like an AWESOME possibility to me! 😀 ::thumbs up!::

        1. Pinja

          DoA pairings so far are all very odd-couple-ish and I don’t think you can get much odder than Dina/Joe

          It’d be entertaining for at least a few story arcs,

  13. Wack'd

    Danny’s lines are kinda overwritten here, but this cracked me up, so perhaps they should be overwritten more often.

    1. Aizat

      Imagine Danny’s wearing a monocle and a top hat.

  14. alicemacher

    Lucky us! Between Shortpacked and this, we get a “Double Shot (of Joe’s Threesome Love).”

    Woke up this morning, I was feeling so bad
    What kind of threesome did I have?

    1. Rex Hondo

      Please don’t use the words Joe, threesome, and double shot in the same sentence again. Just please…

      1. Andy

        Joe ordered a frappucino for his morning coffee. Since he’d stayed up so late the night before, he upgraded his normal double shot of espresso to a threesome.

    2. Anonymous

      I also appreciated this synchrony!

  15. Raen

    Devil planted those fossils, Joe. Give the devil his due.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I see someone has been watching SMBC Theater.

      1. Raen

        If you think that’s their invention, I envy you.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s nice to be envied. 😀

        2. GrrArg42

          WELL played

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Looks like I rolled a natural 20.

  16. Scott

    I like boners

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      In that case, Willis has the shirt for you.

      http://shortpacked.bigcartel.com/product/the-dig-it-t-shirt

    2. Aizat

      I like trains.

      1. Yotomoe

        I like trains that look like boners.

      2. Drunken Nordmann

        Yes, you do.

      3. Linus

        I like turtles.

        1. Pie

          Hello! 😀

      4. GrrArg42

        I like turtles.

  17. Sporky

    you know this could easily be the dialogue of any number of gamer webcomics starring two guys

    except if it was ctrl+alt+del where it would have three times as many words and 5% of the funny

    1. Madock345

      It works perfectly as a Penny Arcade comic as well, enough that I considered making a photoshop to that effect, then I remembered how tired I’m.

      1. C.

        Gabe and Tycho have had wives (seperate wives) for most of the run. Maybe “Penny Arcade: The Early Years.”

        1. begbert2

          I find it…odd…that you felt the need to clarify that they had separate wives.

  18. Madock345

    I love this comic. I love it for many reasons, most perverse, some literary, but all awesome.

  19. Audiophillie

    Does anyone else see that second panel!? Dayum!
    I ship Danny x Soda bottle forever!

    1. David

      http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/42414927211/dannyxsodabottle

      1. Geegles

        And this is why I love the internet

      2. Darth Cariss

        That’s funny.

      3. 'Los

        I… just….

        <3 <3 <3

      4. ArkhamTexan

        Hah, glad I wasn’t the only one that was interested in that bottle. Honestly, it’s such a small detail, but I really liked that Danny was drinking a soda during this thing. It’s just a minor action, but I like it. It’s probably just the two of them talking as well. I associate Danny so much with being obsessive over his female love interests that I really cherish the panels where he’s just hanging out, not thinking about them, having a normal conversation.

        It reminds me of this interview with some female comic writer from years and years ago (mid-late 90’s)–sorry, I don’t remember her name because I was, like, a pre-teen or teenager at the time–who said that she was never interested in Batman until she was just randomly flipping channels and landed on B:TAS. It was nothing special, it was just Robin and Batman in the Batmobile and Robin had his feet up. They were just talking, hanging out, whatever. And that’s when she got interested and Batman and wanted to write comics.

        I guess I just like seeing Danny in his “downtime” from his usual plots that involve pain in some way.

        1. iggy_rock

          I wonder what kind of soda it is. The blue label implies Pepsi
          but I like the idea that Danny is some kind of soda hipster
          and it is RC Cola instead.

        2. Wack'd

          It’s Pepi.

  20. Aeyt

    I miiiiiight have to buy that shirt

  21. Pinja

    Shipping it now: Joe/Ethan

  22. wererat2000

    what is with you and threesomes today?

  23. tahrey

    The Willis triptych is currently running at a DAMN YOU factor of: 2

    No, wait, Roomies isn’t *quite* about a threesome (though it’s skirting the issue). The tripod is unbalanced. That’s worth at least half a damn, which becomes a total of three after rounding.

    Congrats.

    1. Mogotoo

      If it’s _.5, do you not round to the even number? It’s still 2.

      1. begbert2

        In the US the rule is to round up from _.5. (Except in certain financial situations where you alternate the direction point fives round each time.)

  24. Dr.Z

    That’s when you know you’re drinking too damn much.

  25. gangler

    I just realized. Joe believes in the boner interpretation of the shirt and Dina believes in the paleontology interpretation. If they meet up they can have an argument or a comical misunderstanding!

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      I’d ship that.

      1. gangler

        Perhaps an accidental date? Joe thinks he’s agreed to some boning only to find himself at a museum with Dina excitedly talking about dinosaurs with what she believes to be a fellow enthusiast. Eventually they find common ground in Dinobot. Night ends with them plastering posters all over the school.

        Later as they grow more knowledgeable in their respective fields of study they will attempt to combine their knowledge of paleontology and engineering in ways that will make the world tremble.

        1. begbert2

          And then they sex.

  26. Azure

    can we get panel two without text?

  27. Furie

    Dina and Joe had a threesome? Shortpacked and DoA are joining together in the multiverse.

  28. Jackson

    Wait, is that bone a femur?

  29. Dr.Z

    Man, I want some more Sal side-boob.

    Can we get some more side-boob in this comic?

    1. begbert2

      Well, based on this comic Joe may be taking his shirt off shortly. So you may not have long to wait!

    2. Pinja

      Would Dorothy or Amber side-boob be an acceptable substitute?

      1. Dr.Z

        Most definitely.

  30. Pinja

    Apparently Dina is insanely popular here so lemme ask you Dina lovers:

    If given the choice of who she gets paired up with, who would it be?

    1. begbert2

      A large part of this universe’s Dina’s appeal is that she is so cognitively left field that she wouldn’t know what to do with a relationship if she found it.

      So… Joyce.

      1. Pinja

        Heh, I wouldn’t bet on that if the only penalty was having to sit on the naughty step for ten minutes.

      2. Dr.Z

        I approve!

        After all, nothing in the Bible says anything bad about lesbians. It works!!!

        1. David

          The Old Testament doesn’t. New Testament does.

        2. Dr.Z

          It depends on your reading. 😉

  31. nothri

    I like how two separate universes are involving th topic of threesomes and Joe today 🙂

  32. Bill Murphy

    This is why when you agree to do a threeway that you work out all the details, IN ADVANCE! 😛

  33. Ray

    Boners do not involve actual bones and really shouldn’t involve digging. Joe’s not too bright? But then, he gets laid a lot, so, stereotype complete, then.

    1. Luke

      If you’re a walrus, they involve bones. A single, four-foot one, to be exact.

      1. E.C.

        Joe’s not a walrus. He’s not smart enough to be one at this stage in his life.

        1. Luke

          How ’bout a lemming?

      2. Kelly

        In most placental mammals, actually: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum
        Humans are in the minority.

  34. Tom Speelman

    And with this comic, Willis perfectly echoes the readers’ confusion at what this shirt could potentially represent vis a vis boners.

  35. Scott

    I need a ‘Super hot’ option for the poll.

  36. Kirby

    I have to wonder if both comics involving threesomes, and Joe, are coincidental or not….

  37. DarkoNeko

    ooh, Dina and Joe should do a matching evening.

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