187

Dana
Posted on August 13, 2012 by David M Willis

187 thoughts on “Dana”

  1. Platypus

    Alright, story- time.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Will there be diagrams too? I LOVE DIAGRAMS!

      1. Cholma

        The Great Faz (Sarah’s R.A., no doubt) will show up with Pie Charts and Bar Graphs.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Finally, a good reason to introduce Faz to DoA.

        2. Cholma

          Sadly, Ruth is already the women’s R.A.

          Have we seen the men’s R.A.? I suppose the Great Faz could be that.

        3. arjay2813

          i dont think faz’s age has been established in regards to Amber, but i think he’s younger than her, so he wouldnt be in the college with her. ( base this solely on the fact that the divorce was after she was born, and despite the fact that he was abusive, i’m pretty sure they mentioned him cheating on Amber’s mom, and i am guessing it was after her birth

        4. TheLastOutlaw

          She’s older, at some point it had been mentioned that Amber’s dad had made her big sister to “half the coast.” But still, I could picture Faz as an R.A. Holding frequent meetings with charts and graphs dedicated to “the greatness that is Faz.”

        5. Daibhid C

          She’s older in the Walkyverse. Does that necessarily mean she’s older in the Dumbverse? I don’t know. (I’ve got a feeling some characters don’t have the same relative ages, but I can’t think of examples.)

        6. Godly

          He could have skipped some grades.

        7. Historyman68

          Robin’s somewhat older in DoA relative to the rest of the characters, and Roz is older. So it’s definitely possible that Faz could be older or younger depending on where his character fits in.

        8. David

          Faz wouldn’t be the R.A. of Sarah’s wing. He’s a dude! (It wouldn’t be Ruth, either. It’s currently Ruth’s first year as R.A.)

        9. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

          Really? Ha! I -knew- she was exaggerating about “running a tight ship”. Can’t make such a claim if it’s one’s first time doing such a thing, after all.

        10. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

          Oops, meant “can’t -accurately- make such a claim.”

      2. Osaru Sensei

        OMG it’s Momo.

        I keep trying to access Walkypedia to look up Mainverse Dana, but it won’t connect. 🙁

        1. Phillip Wilde

          Walkypedia done died, sadly.

        2. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

          Original Dana is linked elsewhere in the comments for this one, and was one of Mainverse Sarah’s friends way back when.

  2. Darth

    Then nobody lived happily ever after, and Mike fucked your mom.

    THE END

    1. Doctor_Who

      At least Mike got a happy ending.

      1. Amaziboy

        For a nickle.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          What a bargain!

        2. Aizat

          Wait there’s more. Call now and you can get a FAAAACEEEE for absolutely free.

        3. Bickendan

          He overpaid.

      2. Jehosaphat

        ..and so did “your mom” which I guess is nice for her. She only have to pay a nickel!

  3. Wonder Wig

    Twisting the end, something also associated with weed.

    1. LuckyStar7

      THEY ALREADY KNEW IT WAS WEED

      1. Wonder Wig

        That’s what’s normally inside joints (not hangouts)

  4. Rachel

    Sometimes, it’s just something that simple.

  5. Jack Napier

    Dana’s not exactly going to be subtle, is she?

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s as subtle as a camp fire in a fireworks van.

      1. LuckyStar7

        As subtle as shooting a bullet at a gas tank.

    2. Historyman68

      I guess that’s an interesting character trait- I’ve never known anyone to say that, especially to a brand new acquaintance, like that. Maybe “do you smoke?” or making the two-fingered “inhaling a joint” movement with accompanying sucking sound- but “do you like to get high?” just feels very obvious.

      I hope that’s part of her character intentionally- maybe she was so obvious about her smoking that it came to the attention of the cops or something, whereas had it been more subtle it wouldn’t have been as much of a problem?

  6. Amaziboy

    Chem free dorm?

    1. Amaziboy

      No chemistry majors allowed there.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        We all know that failed chem majors will end up setting up meth labs in caravan parks. 😛

        1. Cholma

          Can the caravan be periwinkle blue? It’s for me mum.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Nope it will be white with brown like everybody else.

        3. Rognik

          That’s not brown, that’s rust.

        4. LuckyStar7

          That’s not white…
          I’ll leave that one to the imagination.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          You wouldn’t happen to be refering to a certain milky substance by any chance, would you?

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    DAMN, I thought it was going to be meth or even worse, pixie sticks.

    1. Bekah

      Crowbars.

      1. Heimdallw32

        Real men do crowbars.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But will it blend?

    2. Aizat

      At least it’s not Smilex or Soylent Green.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        But Soylent Green is vegan approved, it says so on the label.

        1. Yotomoe

          I’m just glad it’s not happy crack.

        2. Aizat

          Crack dipped with Joker toxin?

        3. Yotomoe

          It involves Kool-aid…that’s all I know.

        4. LuckyStar7

          I thought happy crack WAS Pixy Stix.

        5. Joebo

          Depends on whether or not you mean literary soylent Green or movie soylent green. In the book Soylent Green was made out of soy beans and lentils, which would be vegan approved. The movie made it into people.

        6. Kernanator

          Really? If that’s true, that might be a time when the film really was better than the book.

        7. Tarod

          You must NEVER deride the book; it would be improper. Why, it isn’t pretentious at all!

        8. LuckyStar7

          PEOPLE DID SOME SERIOUS SHIT TO HARRY POTTER!!

        9. ProfessorZoot

          Eeh, Make Room! Make Room! was an elitist Western dystopia decrying unlimited population growth (particularly of uncouth mouthbreathers and their ilk). Like all of these harangues it pretty much said that if we don’t start letting the unworthy die like they’re supposed to we will all end up kinda, you know, uncomfortable. The movie ignored the book entirely for the shock of “Soylent Green is people!” which in the book would have been a solution not a problem. Neither is great.

        10. Bri

          I think you have that reversed…

        11. thomas0comer

          IIRC the vegetables were fertilized with ground-up people in the book.

    3. LuckyStar7

      GIANT PIXIE STICKS

    4. Rex Hondo

      She starts to REALLY get disruptive when she starts taking ThreeEye.

      1. Rex Hondo

        edit: ThirdEye. shit…

        1. Legasher

          Haha, “I seeeee you Sarah! I see those who walk before you and He Who Walks Behind!”

          I was rereading that last night. Sarah really does have the temperament of a wizard. That would be an awesome twist! Joyce would freak right out of her skin.

        2. HeatPhoenix

          Seriously? You guys are awesome.

        3. Somebody

          I called you a douche for the “spray tan” comment. Ha!

  8. Bekah

    I had a similar conversation my first year of university outside of Intro to Philosophy, waiting for the prof to show up. Only, instead of “you like to get high?” it was “you down?” and the dude had a joint in his hands.

    1. slicedtoad

      Philosophy and pot are a great combo!

  9. Deemah

    Someone did that to me for Avengers, they told me the Hulk is angry.

    1. David Herbert

      Oh great, thanks for wrecking it for the rest of us.

  10. Buckybone

    Anyone who brings weed into a freshman dorm deserves to get kicked out for pure stupidity.

    1. LuckyStar7

      And pure weakness.

    2. historyman68

      Depends on the college. Very much.

  11. Ryan Balis

    actually, the box was filled with My Little Pony DVD’s and stuff

    1. Liam

      Please, you couldn’t fill a box with those dvd’s. Maybe with figurines, bu that’s more like Ethan’s thing

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You could if you ground them up first. 😀

        1. Yotomoe

          and then snorts them.

      2. Ryan Balis

        you only need Pinkie Pie to get high

        1. WhiteEyedCat

          High on fun! (and friendship)

        2. LARPeX

          Fun fact*: The name of every My Little Pony character is also the name of a drug.

          *not really a fact

        3. Yotomoe

          Celestia sounds like it would F*ck you up.

        4. LuckyStar7

          What about Princess Miamore Cadenza?

        5. Rex Hondo

          This one time, I took a Rainbow Dash and an Applejack together. At first I was all like “Whooooooa” and then I was all like “YeeeeeeHaw!” And then I woke up in a Stuckey’s parking lot two states over.

        6. Historyman68

          Actually pretty convincing.

        7. Petre Pan

          I love this conversation.

        8. Pseudowolf

          Derpy Hooves is a gateway pony.

        9. Rex Hondo

          Cranky Doodle Donkey is the downer of all downers.

  12. Leorale

    Aw, li’l Sarah!
    She’s all idealistic and naive in the first panel but still very believably herself.

  13. Liam

    Honestly, despite knowin that Dana was an addict, that seems to me to be somewhat benign…

    1. Aydr

      Somehow I don’t think that’s the end of the story. And yeah, seriously, that’s the first question you have for your roommate at school? Kinda sad.

      1. Pyr05

        That actually is the first question from someone with an addiction who, if she was down for it, would have lit up right there, door be damned. I know a few people who are that obsessed with getting high that much.

        1. TheLastOutlaw

          Yea, I grew up with one. High points of his existence included trying to tell a cop it was “ok” because it was “only some herb.” There’s a point that some reach where they’ve convinced themselves there is nothing wrong with smoking it (and I’m not even going to begin to touch THAT topic) which is great until they also seem to forget that it’s a controlled substance.

      2. NoLast

        It makes sense as a first question…Something she likes to do that’s also illegal. It’s less “Do we have this thing in common?” and more “How open can I be about this thing?”

        1. MM

          If you need that confirmed before exchanging pleasantries like “How was your trip?” and “What’s your major?”, I think it’s safe to say your priorities are a little mixed up.

      3. Liam

        Which is why I said “despite knowing she’s an addict.” sure, in context it’s sad, but on its own, that doesn’t make me dislike her. So far, she seems pretty likable, imo. Of course, I doubt it’ll stay that way

    2. Yotomoe

      Are you saying that she’s a cancer?

      1. Kernanator

        Well she seems to suck like cancer.

        1. LuckyStar7

          My sister’s a Cancer, and she’s kinda popular.

      2. Rognik

        Nah, she totally has a Libra vibe.

      3. Historyman68

        In certain states, that would justify her use completely.

    3. pan_dim_onium

      Benign, nine and a half

    4. Gargamel

      You know I was expecting it to be something more serious like Cocaine or Meth.

  14. Brasca1

    If she was that open about her drug habit within a minute of meeting her roommate she would’ve gotten busted even if she didn’t narc on her.

    1. NoLast

      You’d be surprised…Most people really don’t care about it, as long as they don’t smoke it in a communal area.

  15. Yotomoe

    Inside that box was a weed. Turns out Dana was a gardener who had acrophilia

    1. Aizat

      Inside that box was the grass from Castle Exodus. You know, the one that could kick your ass?

  16. Nexev

    Dana seems more awkward then i imagined she was.

  17. Kernanator

    Dana’s box had weed?

    This is a twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan.

    1. Yotomoe

      And the weed is from aliens who are your real father for you are the chosen one.

      1. Manmadeking

        I GET IT

      2. LuckyStar7

        (^^)/*\(^^) High Fives!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Dana’s box has got weed stuffed inside? Most people prefer to smoke it.

      1. Jehosaphat

        Maybe she thought that is how it is used to get high?

    3. Rognik

      What’s in the box? WHAT’S IN THE BOX!?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        With the Dots?

      2. Historyman68

        Thom Yorke’s head.

    4. Rex Hondo

      She was a Deadhead the whole time.

  18. SplashBoogie

    I love how Sarah’s first steps into her dorm almost perfectly mirror Joyce’s

    1. Yotomoe

      only with a higher vantage point.

    2. Historyman68

      But instead of a conversation about pooping, a conversation about toking

  19. Globen

    I think we’ve all had our bad college roomies.

    Mine was a short, fat Armenian suitemate with enough hair to be a walking brillo pad complaining about either 1) His crappy love life or 2) The guy he used to live with that apparently smoked weed. This was usually preceded by him walking into my room without knocking ’cause he used to live in it. The fact that he only showered once a week didn’t help. (Maybe *that’s* why your love life sucked?)

    I’ll never forget the day we all left the suite: he never picked up a suitcase, he just walked behind his mother, berating her for not taking the suitcases fast enough.

    I hope someday to meet another Armenian person to change my attitude of Armenians for the better.

    1. Ridureyu

      Mine was named “Ben.” I knew of him as “Trumpet-Playing Ben,” because he played the trumpet at all hours. Other people knew him as “Asshole Ben.” I didn’t understand that one until the time I was around and he was on the phone with his girlfriend. He screamed abuse so loudly that his face turned red and he sprayed spittle all over his phone. Then they broke up, and he started screaming at other people, though oddly not me.

      Hs disappeared between semesters, leaving me with an empty room for half a year.

      1. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

        Mine was a suitemate, but he still sucked. Liked to talk on his phone while sitting in the bathroom for about thirty minutes or more, had no concept of “indoor voice” or “the walls are -thin-” or “the bathroom is a shared one, not a personal domain to just wander into and out of whenever you feel like. do your shit and get. OUT.” Also had this habit, due to being a germophobe (and yet he wanted to work in the medical field. *facepalm*), of not blowing his nose… but instead hocking it up as a loogie. Into either the toilet, or while he was showering. He’d do this quite loudly, too (even having my CD player on full volume and headphones wouldn’t stop the sheer LOUDness.) It got to the point where I was actually woken up by it at 5:30 in the morning.

        1. Kernanator

          There are days when I worry that I’m the asshole roommate.

          If either of my roomies are reading this, I’m sorry for the crap you’ve had to deal with.

        2. Yotomoe

          There’s days when i wonder if I’m the asshole roomate…then I realize I still live with my mom…so yeah…I kinda am.

        3. LuckyStar7

          You’re awesome, Kernanator.
          *hugs*

        4. Petre Pan

          I know, right? Back in college, I was sometimes noisy, because I liked to have a good time with people and invite over everyone I could possibly see, I wasn’t afraid of my housemates so I left my bedroom door unlocked, and between the studying and the hanging out I had no time to clean, so I just made sure my pile stayed on my side of the room and that was that. My roommate seemed okay with it. But I worry that deep down, she wishes she were here, bongoing about me. = / Did any of you ever try TALKING to your asshole roomie to let her/him know you were bothered? Some of us are a little more laid back, so we don’t know what bothers you!

    2. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      I know an Armenian. She’s actually quite nice as are most of the Armenians that I’ve come in contact with over Facebook. I promise they aren’t that rude.

      1. Globen

        Well, Armenian *men*. The mom seemed nice enough, had a prominent position at HBO, but boy, I hate to say it, but her son was every terrible Middle-Eastern stereotype I could think of. And I say that being well aware that yes, Armenia isn’t part of the Middle East. It’s near Turkey though!

        1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

          Okay, yeah, I can see the men’s side a bit. But even her b/f is pretty nice to her. I know her dad is very big in their people’s tradition

        2. Globen

          Oh, I’m well aware stereotypes aren’t universal. I’d just like to see it for myself.

          Maybe I should take a trip to Armenia, I don’t know.

    3. sun tzu

      Hey, I never had a bad college roomie.
      Maybe because I spent college living at my parents’.

      1. Mo

        That was how I had a bad college roomie. Stepdad’s all, “TURN THAT TV DOWN I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING.” Killjoy.

    4. Badtux

      Ah, bad roommates. Mine was a Venezuelan from one of the prominent families that ran the place at the time. He never cleaned anything, he never washed anything, because he had servants for that at home, he sneered at the Indios (the mostly-Amerind majority) in much the same way a Southern segregationist might have sneered at African-Americans, he was, in short, the epitomy of the bigoted aristocratic conquistador-descended jerk, including how he tried to order me around as if I were his servant (yeah, good luck with that!). When Hugo Chavez came to power I was, like, “HIGH FIVE!”, and played “Like A Rolling Stone” over and over about a dozen times :).

      1. Benny

        I avoided bad roommates by requesting a single when I was a first year. Though I did have trouble when I was in an apartment. Fuckers never knew how to clean anything and kept breaking my stuff. Also they smoked all the time. High people are really boring to hang out with.

    5. ProfessorZoot

      Well there’s always the Kardashians . . .

    6. Doom Shepherd

      My first roommate was an Ecuadorian. He lived up to pretty much every negative Latino stereotype, and liked to “borrow” my word processor in the middle of the night. To write porn stories on.

      My second roomate was a black coach-in-training, a nice enough guy, but his voice was SO low and resonant that it made my bed vibrate, and he liked to talk to his gf on the phone late at night. One night I had a test the next day and asked him to take his phone call out in the hall so I could sleep. The next day, the ENTIRE REST OF THE FLOOR was bongoing to me about him keeping them awake.

      Then there was the alcoholic “Patton” fanatic. Must have seen that movie 50 times during the semester, which didn’t compare to coming home and finding EMT’s and Public Safety in my room trying to deal with a guy with alcohol poisoning who didn’t want to go to the hospital.

      And finally, the Preppy From Hell, who had a loft bed, whose buddies came over most mornings at 7 AM to play videogames and sat on MY bed. While I was still IN it… but whom I mostly remember because his one girlfriend was afraid of heights so she refused to F*** in the loft. So guess where. Yep, that’s right. At least I wasn’t in the bed that time.

    7. Historyman68

      I know a number of Armenians, very nice people all.

  20. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    The fact that Joyce guessed this on the first try, is beyond amazement. She sees right through these stories, lol!

    1. ryan

      joyce’s only exposure to drugs is the one time she watched “reefer madness”. it gave her nightmares for months.

      1. Wack'd

        Which one?

        1. David

          The one where she goes to school and everyone’s naked. Both parts of that were scary.

        2. Wack'd

          XD

          I meant which Reefer Madness, though.

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    Sarah’s old hairstyle makes her look years younger.

    1. TheLastOutlaw

      Today Plasma is Momo.

      I approve.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I like her newly discovered feature which allows her to change hair colour.

        1. TheLastOutlaw

          The animation really sold that one.

  22. John Bon Pony

    Oh my god Sarah, your first year dorm experience sounds like mine.

  23. antiwesley

    There is no Dana, only Zuul….

    1. Jehosaphat

      I am the Keymaster. Are you the Gatekeeper?

      1. Cholma

        Are you . . . a god?

        1. TheLastOutlaw

          Damn skippy.

        2. Rex Hondo

          Dammit, Ray. If somebody ask you if you’re holding, you say YES!

  24. Shade

    Damn it Joyce, you’re supposed to use spoiler tags!

  25. turkishproverb

    SSSSSSTttttoooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyytttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    1. Jehosaphat

      mmmmmmmeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!one!!!!1!

      1. LuckyStar7

        SSSSSTTTTTOOOOORRRRRYYYYYTTTTTIIIIIMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Jetstream

    Is nobody gonna comment on the bizarre fact that Joyce, of all people, knows a COLLOQUIAL term for marijuana?

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      AHHH! Our little Joyce has been corrupted by secular humanists! We should have sent her to a proper CHRISTIAN college! 😀

    2. TheLastOutlaw

      Most church youth groups do some sort of drug awareness work including common nicknames for drugs.

    3. Raen

      She just didn’t feel like using the full name, “DEMON weed.”

    4. Plasma Mongoose

      Pretty much everyone knows that weed = pot.

  27. Romanticide

    Wow Dana sure was fast! O.o And Sarah did look quite diferent then…

  28. Bickendan

    Unrelated to today’s DoA comic: I can’t access shortpacked.com — I get a “You are banned.” message. Uh… o.0

    Did I troll someone? :/

    1. David

      The ban software seemed to be on the rampage, so I’ve disabled it for now.

      1. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

        It’s being very naughty, it zapped me, too. =\

    2. Raen

      For the record – and I don’t want to divert things too much – did you actually ban anyone tonight, or is it safe to assume that anyone who’s just started seeing this screen is seeing it in error?

      1. David

        I ain’t banned anyone in over a week.

        The ban plugin went nuts, so I disabled it. Seemed to have STILL gone nuts when I got up this morning, so I just whole-hog deleted it. If that doesn’t fix it, I really have no idea.

        1. Bickendan

          Good to know that it wasn’t us but the software going Skynet on us.

  29. Charles RB

    Sarah went from normal-smiley to Sarah after FIVE SECONDS of Dana. 😮

    1. LuckyStar7

      Dana must be a doosh to do that in FIVE SECONDS.
      🙁

  30. Pyr05

    Joyce is surprisingly level about the pot. I would expect her to have fainted or something. You know, with the clean, Christian background and all.

    1. Petre Pan

      Psh some Christians don’t really think weed should be illegal.
      I’m serious. Some hardcore, Bible-reading, if-you-don’t-know-Jesus-you’re-going-to-hell Christians really don’t care all that much about weed. Because it’s not what’s illegal that matters. It’s what can control you and keep you away from God. (Example “Do not get drunk with wine BECAUSE it leads to debauchery, and instead you should be filled with the holy spirit”–the whole idea is that you shouldn’t let anything get between you and God, and when you get drunk, you’ll do things that do get between you and the spirit) So to some Christians, it depends on the individual when we’re talking about weed. Unless weed makes you do stupid things–which some people debate, actually, since it’s not actually as chemically addictive or altering as crack or heroin–and keeps you away from God, it’s just a plant. A medicinally useful plant.

      Just, ya know, breaking stereotypes here.

  31. Originalslugboy

    …aaaaaaand now I’m suddenly reading Joyce in Starfire’s voice. I wonder if I’ll be able to unhear that?

    1. Resne

      Hello! I am Joyce, and I am pleased to be attending this institution of higher learning!

    2. ADHadh

      I didn’t do it before, but I might now. Strangely fitting.
      I hope Sarah is not voiced by Kali Troy.

      1. ADHadh

        Aaaand I’m Sal now. I don’t know if my previous excited comments about Sal are more or less creepy compared to posting them originally with Walky.

        1. Resne

          Maybe a little depressing, but less creepy.

  32. lightsabermario

    No spoilers!! LA LA LA LA LA IM NOT LISTENING LA LA LA LA LA…

    1. LuckyStar7

      BLINK BLINK BLINK I’M NOT LOOKING BLINK BLINK BLINK…..

  33. Bri

    Sarah looks so young and happy and uncorrupted by the world. 🙁

  34. Maycroft

    thanks a lot Joyce!

  35. LuckyStar7

    Concerned Joyce is concerned.

  36. Arkadi

    Good ol’ Joyce. Can’t get nothing past her ^^

  37. Wack'd

    I love Dana’s new design.

  38. Jimmy

    I was going to ask if Dana was in the Walkyverse, but I found her there. http://www.itswalky.com/d/19971027.html

    Wonder when/if Carl will appear?

  39. thomas0comer

    I think this is the first time I’ve seen a flashback in blue.

    1. Historyman68

      Most people flashback in sepia, but Sarah is such a downer she flashes back in blue

  40. the canvashat

    Dangit! Next thing you know, it’ll be Earth all along , won’t it?

  41. Noel Schornhorst

    What’s in the box, Dana?! What’s in the boooooooooooooooooooox?!!

    1. Wonder Wig

      It could even be a boat!

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