150

Confess
Posted on August 23, 2023 by David M Willis

150 thoughts on “Confess”

  1. DarkoNeko

    oh come on XD

    1. V

      Congratulations on doing the impossible – you commented before Ana Chronistic. Never thought I’d see the day…….

      1. Taffy

        It happens like once a month.

    2. Angel

      i mean it is a bit eager but i imagine most friends would be a bit curious. maybe in a more serious mood, lucy could end up being a decent friend too

  2. Ana Chronistic

    “I want to know who to picture when I do the ‘now KISS’ gesture”

    1. clif

      Mike is always a good choice.

      If you don’t mind picturing your mom.

  3. Corronchilejano

    Did Asher know what he was getting into?

    1. Reltzik

      Most asheredly.

  4. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Candy’s “Whatever Happened To Fun?” on the hacked Muzak*–specifically, the I WANNA KNOW! chorus…

  5. AbacusWizard

    Emo Peter Parker? Oh shoot, is Asher’s hair an evil alien symbiote?? Quick, play some really loud music and see if it detaches!

    1. StClair

      “the bells, THE BELLS!”

    2. Thag Simmons

      I love that Ethan looked at what a movie did to portray a character trying and failing to act cool and thought “I should do that”

      1. Needfuldoer

        He’s a darkness turducken.

        1. Taffy

          No they said Ethan, not Ansem.

        2. elebenty

          Was first worried that would be a link to Ansom/Potsie.

        3. Taffy

          Never heard of that.

        4. Bo

          have never thought of the characters in kingdom hearts with others inside them as ‘turduckens’ but i *will* absolutely start to from now on

  6. NGPZ

    Awe Lucy be soooo cute in that last panel ?

    1. Jo_cubstar

      No, she’s fetishizing queer men all while he is clearly conflicted and in pain over his situation with Jennifer and was looking for support from a friend…

      1. Nono

        I think she’s just squeeing over kisses. It could be queer fetishization but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.

        Plus IU is full of queer rep, there are probably more queer couples/fwbs than straight ones at this point.

        1. NGPZ

          Lucy and Asher should have a slumber party! ?

        2. Sirksome

          I can forgive her squeeing over boy love. I’m more concerned about her meddling likely putting Asher in a position he didn’t intend. I don’t trust the dude but he at least deserves the right to navigate his emotions and relationship at his own pace.

        3. Adam Black

          Yes, but then he wouldnt owe Lucy for his relationship, would he?

          She just crossed a line with a mob kid.

        4. Taffy

          This is the funniest joke of the night. Everyone else pack it in.

        5. Mark

          I think she’s trying to find out if that act will work again.

        6. Angel

          i can see her squeeing overall of it being cute, but i’m not sure if she’d have the same reaction if asher had kissed a girl since some ppl consider that more ‘cheating’ than same-sex ones for bi ppl (tho i imagine most still expect monogamy unless they discuss beforehand about an open relationship/polycule)

          does lucy know ethan? i don’t think theyve ever interacted/she might’ve heard his name in passing tho

      2. DailyBrad

        To be perfectly honest, it’s not really THAT weird a question when he’s infodumping as it is.

      3. Los

        Honestly…. she seemed genuinely sad for asher in the previous panel, so this might be her way of trying to cheer him up. Hell, maybe shes checking to see if they would make a better match so she can tell him to ditch billie.

        1. Dante

          Spot on. It’s an awkward outcome but Lucy is a romantic and

          1 – The fact Asher came here to confess and not for leverage showed her he’s actually… Too healthy for Jennifer, honestly?

          2- Asher looks lonely.

          I think he realizes he’s not going to be able to discuss this with his usual friends, and he doesn’t seem to have more. Walky it’s more like friendly vibes. Meanwhile – Lucy isn’t judging him, so he’s kept talking, and I agree that she might’ve even be willing to give better advice for Asher in Jennifer’s detriment.

        2. NGPZ

          ^ Very funny how this is the 69th comment (count them if you don’t believe me)

        3. Needfuldoer

          Nice.

        4. Dante

          Nice ✨

        5. zee

          Nice ?

        6. Acher4

          I think that’s exactly it. Spot on x2

          Lucy seems like a good person overall.

  7. Reltzik

    Panel 4: So is he unsure that it counts as a confession if Jennifer didn’t believe it, or is he unsure that she was scared back into his arms because she doesn’t seem all that interested?

    1. Joe Moose

      Yes.

    2. Chaucer59

      I think he’s saying he doesn’t know what her wanted.

      1. DailyBrad

        That’s sort of my read on this, like I think the Ethan kiss has him torn. I do think he’s into Jennifer, obviously more into her than she is into him, but this is also probably got him very conflicted, and her reaction to it probably did not clear up much for him.

        1. Dante

          You know how it is, like with flipping a coin to decide on X or Y, and then realizing you wanted X the entire time if it lands on Y and it disappoints you.

          But Asher, you see, wants to be good. And good people aren’t supposed to give up their stable relationship for the first beautiful person who kisses them, right? You’re supposed to… Work at them?

          Right?

          (Poor dude.)

        2. cbwroses

          When it lands on Y and I realize I really wanted X because I’m disappointed it landed on Y, I immediately go do X.
          Flipping a coin was supposed to help me decided because I couldn’t.
          The disappointment tells me I did really decide and just hadn’t realized it.

        3. Dante

          Yeahhh. It’s. It’s a bit more difficult to do when it’s things with actual consequences, which is why I hardly do it. Not my best metaphor :’D

          I think he is feeling An Impulse to break up, and had been feeling dissatisfied without being able to put why into words. Is this the same as wanting to break up? He isn’t sure – and he probably wishes his partner in not-crime would’ve helped a little with it instead of adding to the confusion.

        4. cbwroses

          I mean that’s not a hypothetical.
          That’s literally what I do.
          When you say that’s “a bit more difficult to do, etc.” you’re implying that I’m talking out the side of my mouth or you’re assuming the decisions that I’ve done that with didn’t have actual consequences.

        5. Dante

          Not my intention at all 🙁 Sorry

          I just. I just really, really overthink stuff for way too long a time. Which is weird to say considering somehow I thought you were talking like when one says general-you. But I didn’t want to go to sleep without clarifying it, didn’t mean to be rude

        6. cbwroses

          No harm, no foul.

    3. Jamie

      I feel like he wanted to break up.

      1. GholaHalleck

        He’s realizing how toxic Jennifer is and he was hoping this would get him out of the relationship without the messy break up talk.

    4. Samniel

      Both, I think. He may be realizing Jennifer doesn’t care about HAVING him so much as OTHERS not having him, or the status that comes with being his partner. And doesn’t seem like he thinks she believed him, either.

    5. Sirksome

      If nothing else he would of had time to figure it out while Jennifer was still dismissing him. Too late now though.

    6. DashWallkick

      I think he’s starting to realize that Billie approving him under duress is actually not good for the whole “Trying to clean up my act” thing. Or maybe the “clean up my act” is being wasted on someone who he can’t seek the approval of. Dunno, this seems to be not working out for him and it’s starting to stick in his head.

      1. Dante

        Or maybe the “clean up my act” is being wasted on someone who he can’t seek the approval of.

        HUH.

        Yeah. Ruth broke up with Billie when she was “starting to feel better” and now Billie’s even deeper into her own “I need it to be toxic to feel anything”. Meanwhile, Asher (like many of us the characters I suspect) just. Just wants someone to go like “wow you’re trying so hard, look at you go! I’m proud of you!”

        I wonder how much he knows about Halloween.

        1. DashWallkick

          Yeah I think where this is going is Asher gets fed up with trying to make her happy and finding out she doesn’t *want* to be happy, and something comes to a head. No idea how that’ll turn out though, I wonder if Asher has to get made worse before it comes to blows.

  8. Jo_cubstar

    Yeah, Lucy sucks.

    1. brumagem

      I can’t say I disagree, but I also can’t say I’d act any different here lol

    2. Jodka

      Nah.

  9. Amós Batista

    Lucy may be the replacement Amber

    1. Icalasari

      Ehhh, she hasn’t hit the creepy levels that Amber hit before

      Not defending Lucy, just that Amber put the bar to clear so low it’s subterranean. I mean hell, Amber literally was masturbating in the common area over her friend’s misery because of ship brain

    2. DailyBrad

      Not even close, honestly, like she isn’t asking what it was like or anything especially salacious, just who he kissed, the same thing that’d be a 99/100 chance follow-up question if you told a friend, “Hey I kissed someone”.

      1. GholaHalleck

        Yeah but he’s kissing a GUY and that makes it homosexual, and if you show any interest in homosexual smooching you’re a fojushi garbage scow. Or something. I drift in and out.

  10. MM

    So how much do I need to chip in for the Kickstarter campaign to get an animation of Ethan doing the dance?

    1. Siddlaw

      You’re asking the right questions.

  11. brumagem

    Stupid softboy Asher making me ACTUALLY LIKE HIM and his emotional vulnerability what reality even is this

    1. Thag Simmons

      Asher wants very badly to be a good egg

    2. Dante

      I have no idea of when the heck I went from “Yeaaaa, nice try but #Distrust” to being a part of the Asher Deserves Better Squad tbh. He just. He… does that. It’s terrible

  12. Animedingo

    Priorities

    1. DarkoNeko

      and the perfect avatar for the comment 😀

    2. DailyBrad

      I mean, what else is she going to say? He is the one telling her this apropos of basically nothing, so asking who the dude was is kind of fair game.

  13. Sirksome

    Yeah, uh, see, not even sure Asher still wants to be with Jennifer. I actually hate this way more now.

  14. Nono

    Okay say what you will about Lucy but that is a very Joyce reaction.

    1. sultryglebe

      She seems very in love with love.

      Actually, I can see Lucy and Jacob making sense.

      1. DailyBrad

        I forget, was Jacob the one competing with Ken for Lucy’s affections in Shortpacked, or was it someone else? I haven’t read through that portion in a dog’s age.

        In any case, it could work, though I do think it would potentially be an issue that she’s clearly wanting to have a physically intimate relationship with Walky, and Jacob seemed rather cautious about this sort of thing, perhaps with good cause judging by his issues in Shortpacked.

  15. Icalasari

    Lucy: “Either way, my pants euphoria wins”

    1. Dday

      Meep it in yer mants, Mucy.

  16. VolticEXE

    Huh. It really does feel like Asher’s putting in the effort to be better. I wanna believe him, but I still feel skeptic… atleast in the sense that his past his gonna come get him before he goes after his past.

    1. Thag Simmons

      Asher sincerely wanting to be good was established early on, but there’s a lot of things that might stop him from acheiving that goal despite his intentions

      1. C.T. Phipps

        Asher is an inverse Sal.

        Sal was never a bad person but was horribly treated as one anyway.

        Asher WAS a bad kid and as an adult, he wants to be good but is still willing to do terrible things to try to salvage his “Good Life.”

        1. Nalim Skarro

          Eh… I’m willing to give him a pass cause eh the terrible thing he did benefited the greater good. Blaine was a menace and the world is better without him.

        2. Dante

          Yeaaaaah, I’d give him a pass too tbh. Blaine wasn’t only threatening him there: By the time Asher called his connections for the hit, either directly or to tip the mob about Blaine’s money laundering, bastard was responsible for the death of one student – and even without considering Toedad (big consideration) or the kidnapping itself (bigger consideration), he wasn’t ever going to stop tormenting Amber or Faz, whom Asher probably knows, and was at the kidnapping.

          What I wanna know if it was an easy choice for Asher or not.

        3. thejeff

          Blaine was going to jail on kidnapping and murder charges. He wasn’t coming out for a long time. At that point, he wasn’t the kind of threat that justifies extrajudicial murder.
          I’m not going to shed any tears for Blaine, but his murder protected Asher and his mob family, not Amber or Faz.

        4. Mark

          Blaine was a threat to a lot of people, many of them not in this story. He was only occasionally in touch with reality, knew a lot of stuff that others shouldn’t know, and was doing things that would inevitably attract attention from the wrong people. All Asher really had to do was call up Grandpa and say, “Blaine O’Malley is getting really careless and attracting attention to himself.”

          What Asher didn’t expect was for Gramps to say, “thank you, Asher. Since you found the problem, I want you to run the operation to solve it. It’ll be good experience for you.”

        5. thejeff

          Who was he a threat to once in jail, other than the mob?

        6. Thag Simmons

          The actual pass is that from what we have it’s hard to know how much of that was his choice. After Blaine’s little stunt his fate was probably sealed regardless of what Asher did

        7. Doopyboop

          As someone who was threatened with blackmail before, I can’t help but give Asher a pass because the part he had to play in the kidnapping was because of blackmail, AND his response of getting the guy killed for it… I mean, murder isn’t good yet when I went to the cops about being blackmailed I was told there was nothing they could do since I didn’t give my blackmailer any money. If I had mob connections and could get the guy killed… I would probably do the same thing.

    2. Angel

      self-improvement is a lifelong journey.

      i guess it’s harder for some ppl to forgive him since this webcomic is a bit more ‘grounded in reality’ as opposed to villains that have killed ppl directly before being ‘redeemed’

  17. BBCC

    Lucy, that distraction won’t work twice in a row, especially when you explained it to him!

    1. Miri

      Nah, this time she’s hoping for the genuine answer and for him to tell her what it was like, and if he’s dreamy…

  18. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Asher is the gift that keeps on giving.

  19. Wereg

    Turns out that mucking about with other folks’ relationships can go wrong. Who knew?

  20. Laura

    For anyone who, like me, is working way too late tonight, Laura plays hip-hop instrumental beats on the hacked turntable:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woJeTDvdOgM&list=PLrgkRQ9954-Rv7gNesYeAzmjwzuBbkM47&index=1

    (Adblocker recommended)

    1. NGPZ

      ?? Yee this really good, thank you Laura!!!!

      1. Laura

        So glad it helps.

  21. Zor

    …Okay I never REMOTELY considered Lucy and Asher having ANY sort of dynamic, but I’m pleasantly surprised by how amusing these interactions are shaping up to be.

    1. MM

      Given how much we’ve established Walky and Asher have in common, I guess it’s not all that surprising.

    2. Dante

      I think he needs a friend. A well-meaning, easy to get along with friend, who actually shows enthusiasm about things and isn’t going to judge him for not being a proper bad boy or proper mob rich family heir.

      I’m surprised but it makes sense on retrospective :33 I hope it works

      1. Dante

        dskljfs messed up an html tag there but it’s 2:30 am ok. Y’all still know what I meant.

        Also, I like that the characters we got introduced to later in the game are, now they’ve established some connections with the main cast, making connections among themselves ^^ Booster, Ethan, and Amber have been shaping up to be a group. Throwing Asher and Lucy into the mix sounds like fun and actually pretty compatible?

        1. Steelbright

          Now that would be a pretty good mix that you’d not expect. (And way better than Asher’s current crowd, lol)

    3. zee

      I want them to be friends 🙂

  22. HueSatLight

    There’s like 30-40 thousand students there, is she expecting to know who it is? Like what’s the chances he’s living 3 doors down from her boyfriend.

    1. NGPZ

      ? rock n roll

    2. CMasta1992

      In the words of Elan: “A 10% chance is pretty unlikely, but everyone knows that a one-in-a-million chance is a sure thing!”

      1. PirateTawnee

        I always thought that was Pratchett, is it really OotS?

        1. SDGlyph

          Pratchett had “million to one chances crop up nine times out of ten” very early in the series, OotS just expressed a similar statement more recently (for OotS values of ‘recently’).

        2. Thag Simmons

          701 pages and 15 years ago, by my count

        3. Thag Simmons

          That specific phrasing is OOTS but it would not surprised me if Pratchett wrote something similar

        4. Aura

          It was close enough to some of Pratchett’s that I always took it to be a reference, for what it’s worth 🙂

    3. DailyBrad

      I mean, potentially? Like, it’s definitely a non-zero chance.

      (Though, she’s never met Ethan and didn’t really integrate into the friend circle much until he had left it. Yes, Sarah, she DID enter it, albeit largely through Becky, who oddly she knew for entirely non-Walky-related reasons, being coworkers.)

      1. cbwroses

        To be clear, and I don’t know if Sarah meant what I’m about to say, but Sarah didn’t say she wasn’t friends with anyone.

        What she said was that she herself was “one of the group” while Lucy wasn’t “one of us”.

        Sarah includes Walky in the “group” and “us” but do you think she considers Walky a friend?

        Hard to say.

        Joyce seems perpetually annoyed with Walky, but she also described him as family when Becky first arrived and she found out her situation.

        Hell, Walky said “peer group” and not “friend group” when he was talking about the kiss ouroboros (though he did use “friend group” when he was calling Sarah the older meaner temp parent, so that does undercut what I’m saying a little, at least for Walky’s part).

    4. cbwroses

      If there’s even a 1% chance, we have to take it as a 100% certainty.

      1. thejeff

        But only if it justifies something we want to do already.

    5. Dante

      I’m afraid Lucy would answer “Destiny.”

    6. Dot

      “It was Ethan.”

      “Who?”

    7. Angel

      i imagine depending on his mood he’d give more details than just a name

      but that logic there would’ve also been a low chance of them also running into each other versus some areas of the campus being super packed/crowded

  23. quark

    *sigh* if only mike were here to make a quip about someone’s mother here

    1. NGPZ

      and fuck them for a nickel

      Did i do the earthling meme thing right?

  24. Taffy

    Whatever. This isn’t a big deal.

    1. Bruno

      Louder for the people in the DoA comments section.

      1. Adam Black

        Its not like hes murdered people who manipulated people for favors.

        1. GholaHalleck

          all he has to do is kill one more murderer and he’s created a net positive. He’s sitting at neutral atm.

        2. Taffy

          It literally isn’t like that.

        3. Sajuuk-Khar

          Hahahahahaha I forgot about this kind of shit

          so fuckin stupid

    2. Reaver

      Amen

    3. Bo

      i would believe you except that ur profile picture is suckering me into thinking *something* is a big deal lmao

  25. Mym

    I just personally don’t like Lucy, but I’m excited to see Asher’s character growth

  26. Suet

    Emo Peter Parker? Not with that hair, he isn’t.

    Confession’s just as scary anyway.

    1. Angel

      i think walky made that comparison before and becky was like “dang dina’d look hot like that”

  27. Raen

    He should say it was Walky just to see what happens – but he’s more of a stab-in-the-front type than that, I think.

    1. MM

      Won’t necessarily stop Lucy from reaching that conclusion via wacky hijinks. (Or bikinis, according to my autocorrect.)

      1. Miri

        I mean, he was telling Danny to picture him while making out with Sal, right in front of Lucy..?

  28. Hof1991

    Asher and Ethan may not happen but Asher and Jennifer is definitely on the rocks. Both only want him out of spite.

  29. Dot

    So Asher came here to get dumped and Lucy fucked it up. Whoops!

    1. Angel

      Well, knowing Jen, if he really wanted that, that’s kinda on him for not being like “Yeah, this is over” versus thinking Jen would make a decision after hearing that, or just at least being like, “I want more out of our relationship”

  30. Dot

    Oh, and while you’re confessing to things, Asher, “I was an accomplice to that huge kidnapping that resulted in three deaths, one of which I personally involved myself in” feels like a big one you should probably make!

    1. zee

      Technically Mike was on deaths door pre kidnapping. So, really only resulted in the death of the monsters that killed him

      1. Dot

        I count Mike’s death as part of the overall event.

      2. HueSatLight

        There’s at least a 1 in 30-40 thousand chance the mob cops finished Mike off when he was starting to regain consciousness, since there could have been reports of him shouting he knew about Blaine’s work with the mob.

        1. Dot

          Chances are a bit higher than that tbh – we have evidence that Mike’s death was unexpected and abrupt.

        2. DailyBrad

          To be honest, it feels like it’d overcomplicate things from the mob’s perspective. Killing Blaine was tying up a loose end, but killing Mike would have meant introducing risk, not removing it.

    2. Angel

      i wonder if that bombshell will ever come out either from his own admission or someone knowing what happened. I don’t think we’ll get some kinda ‘anime’ arc where he kills his own grandfather in a badass way lol

  31. NGPZ

    I’m hot and bored.

    Does the original Oregan Trail count as a rogue-like or rogue-lite? Why or why not?

    1. DailyBrad

      I’d say it has significant overlap, definitely, and if someone called it one, I’d get it, due to the random elements, permadeath, and so on.

    2. Bo

      for some reason i thought you just meant the entire state of Oregon and i was about to agree with you for no good reason at all

      1. NGPZ

        Pika pika? This like that state of Ohio earthling meme thing?

  32. Opus the Poet

    Lucy is supposed to be sparkling when she does that, what happened to the sparkles?

    1. Wizard

      I’m sure Lucy is seeing the sparkles.

    2. Angel

      maybe sparkles will appear in a more appropriate moment/the other person is reciprocating her energy as opposed to asher actually being troubled

  33. Daniel M Ball

    asher needs to get his shit straightened out and decide who he is, and who he wants to be.

    1. Wizard

      “(insert the name of almost any character in the comic) needs to get their shit straightened out and decide who they are, and who they want to be.”

      1. Daniel M Ball

        obviously. In his case, though, he’s messing with the Ethan, whom does NOT need flaky shit going on (more than he has already got to deal with, anyway.)

  34. wilddeath

    Oh god. Lucy is one of THOSE people. The kind of people where they seem like they are ok and you can like them but the more they talk the less appealing they seem to be as a person.

    1. Angel

      i mean, not that malaya ever really warmed up to her but given they had to be dorm mates for a year, i imagine lucy might not think she needs to ‘calibrate’ her mood/phrasing or so

  35. Taellosse

    But…Peter Parker’s already emo!

    Is being double-emo like being a double-negative, so now Asher has to be whatever the opposite of emo is (upbeat and chipper, I guess)?

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