Milkshake
Posted on January 31, 2017 by David M Willis

130 thoughts on “Milkshake”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    they’re like, it’s better than thine

    verily, it’s better than thine

    I could teach you, but I must levy a fee

    1. Brotato

      Honestly, my favorite meme.

    2. Gesc

      I respectfully disagree.

      I hope I got the code right this time…

    3. Janine

      Missed opportunity:
      Harken they

    4. Arian

      Love it 🙂

  2. Doctor_Who

    “I could share it…but I’d have to charge.”

    1. Pablo360

      Later, in the future, Walky runs a successful business empire based on purchasing, and then sharing for a fee, various milkshakes and other cold sweet treats.

      Dotty: “But how do you even make money off of this?”
      Walky: “Volume, repeat customers, and tons of hidden fees.”
      Dotty: “I never knew you could be so manipulative.”
      Walky: “This isn’t actually a business, I just want to drink a milkshake.”

  3. butts

    it’s better than yours

    1. HunchyBack

      You just couldn’t help your self could you? xD

    2. Hellespont

      It is pretty amazing, apparently it has its own pocket dimension. Where did he pull that from?

      1. Killjoy

        The same place Billy keeps her booze. Hammerspace.

        Sal has hammerspace too, I bet… she probably keeps her bike in there.

        1. Knuf Wons

          I read “hammerspace” as Homestuck. XD And while Homestuck is not a bad place to get booze from, I am fairly certain there are no milkshakes to be had.

      2. BBCC

        From off the bed post?

      3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        Same place that Quake II dude Bitterman pulls his rocket launcher and other cool weapons out of, his butt. 😛

        1. N0083rP00F

          He does? Is he a Ranger?

  4. Emperor Daniel

    DIBS

    1. TheAnonymousGuy

      that’s the face of a sex plan, maybe even another slipshine.

      1. Znayx

        Speaking of slipshine, that banner looks like Dorothy’s… Strap-oning (Strapon-ing? Strap-on-ing?) Walky from behind. Don’t see no milkshakes, but hey. Maybe there are some.

        1. Tan

          The term is pegging.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice)

          The More You Know~

        2. Killjoy

          And now I can never use the phrase “well, she’d got him pegged” ever again.

          Damnit.

        3. Hellespont

          I, on the other hand, immediately began to use it almost daily. Once I found out the double meaning, that is.

        4. Roborat

          But, what if her name isn’t Peggy?

        5. CJ

          With her glasses on?

        6. Schpoonman

          Don’t kink-shame Dotty.

        7. CJ

          It was more of a practical though – crushed glasses get in the way….

        8. HeySo

          That may be a mild interpretation of what’s happening. ..Geeze.

    2. Commodore Counterintuitive

      This is too many emperors

      You, Norton, and the other one

      And there are only two commodores

      1. Emperor Daniel

        We must fight to the sit.

        It is the only way.

  5. AnvilPro

    Dotty’s gonna sleep off the drunk-bubbles

    1. Opus the Poet

      Boozles! As named by Berkley Breathed.

  6. Schpoonman

    Aw, you two.

  7. miados

    I’ll get my own milkshake. with blackjack. and hookers. in fact forget the blackjack and hookers.

  8. Mr. Mendo

    I like to think Walky just has a bunch of milkshakes hidden around the room…but then, they’d melt…

    1. carl320

      Unless he like sleeping with the A/C on all the way down.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      I wouldn’t put it past him to keep a minifridge with the temperature fine-tuned for optimal milkshake preservation in there.

      1. Mr. Mendo

        But that would be too cold for leftover Taco Bell!

        1. inqntrol

          Or Chicken Mcnuggets.

        2. Kraeniel

          That would imply that there’s leftovers

        3. John

          You think Walky has leftover Taco Bell or McNuggets?

        4. BBCC

          Dude, Mcnuggets taste way better cold. What’re you talking about? 😛

        5. Needfuldoer

          That’s why you get mini-fridges, so you have room to keep several at various temperatures for optimal junk food variety.

        6. Flakky

          Milkshake mondays, tacobell tuesdays. Walky has a plan, I’m sure.

        7. Arawn

          Won Ton Wednesdays, Turkey Thursdays, Fried days… Sunny Side UP-day… Saturday is a tragedy because of what was lost in the back pocket. RIP.

        8. John

          It’s Tuesday.

          Day-old milkshakes are just milk.

  9. achallenger

    reminds me of me, former partners, allow me to issue an apology

    1. Roborat

      Your milkshake wasn’t that good?

  10. Nono

    Sometimes you don’t need everybody to love you, you just need that one.

  11. Just Me

    Nothing like sleeping it off on Head Alien Bedsheets next to a guy who thinks more about his milkshake then his girlfriend.

    No wonder she’s smiling.

  12. Jay Eff

    I see Walky like quoting songs from very early in his childhood–

  13. BBCC

    Awwwwww, cuuuuuuuuuute! <3

    I'll have longer analysis after this stupid midterm on Wednesday but until then cuuuuuuuuuuuute! <3

    1. Bagge

      Eh, I dunno. That was a pretty comprehensible analysis.

      1. BBCC

        Comprehensible, but not comprehensive. I’m sure I’ll find something to navel gaze at. 😛

    2. Andy

      Good luck!

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    I’m more of a thick-shake lover myself.

    1. jeffepp

      Every time I hear “thick shakes”, I remember that commercial for the Allen Thick show.

  15. Renshear Blade

    Psyche! it’s really a slushie!

  16. DailyBrad

    Walky knew she needed some goofiness. I hope he tells her about his grade stuff, just since she seems like she could stand to feel needed for a bit.

    1. Mav

      I hope Walky tells her too, but I could see Dorothy feeling even worse if he tells her that he didn’t want to say anything for fear she might judge him for not being as capable as she is (as irrational as that seems on the surface, since we know Dorothy genuinely likes Walky), which goes back to Billie’s “you’re too perfect to be relatable theory”

  17. Mr. Random

    So either that milkshake is melted or empty. There’s no middle ground for a smoothie lying next to you in college.

  18. ValdVin

    Walky’s shown signs of learning how to flirt with Dorothy.

    Is there any indication he’s tried that when in high school? Beyond maybe throwing toys at someone?

    1. Nono

      Hey, he’s had a 100% success rate so far.

  19. Mav

    Now I’m thinking of that crepe and milkshake place I’ve wanted to visit for a while.

    1. kirisu

      You visit that place damn you. You’re amazing and I believe you can visit there, you go there and order a crepe, and order a milkshake, order anything you want, just visit it. Do what you want.

    2. Tan

      Please go and then come back and tell us all about it in order that we may live vicariously through you.

    3. CJ

      just do it now

    4. HeySo

      You’ve got a crepes and milkshake place nearby and you haven’t visited it? I don’t understand…

  20. Keulan

    These two are still adorkable together.

  21. Some1

    I’m considering doing a spiritual sequel to Questing of Age, but instead of being DBZ it would be film noir.

    With Joyce as a private eye.

    1. Some1

      Well I fucked up my email

      1. Fart Captor

        Now we know your true form!

        1. Disloyal Subject

          I will set the mages to work devising a binding ritual at once!

    2. Makkabee

      Dooo eeeet!!!!!

    3. Bagge

      That would be awesome!

  22. Falcon

    You know, Walky’s a natural in a way that’s totally different from Roz, and in a way Dorothy is really into. Maybe he’ll be able to help her find the answers to the problems she can’t think and organize her way out of. And then they’ll become the weirdest power couple ever.

    1. Spencer

      That would require Walky being capable of having a conversation that’s not about bowel movements.

      1. thejeff

        He is capable. He’s not fond of it, but he has done it.

        1. Spencer

          If he has to try that hard then he pretty clearly isn’t capable.

  23. Bicycle Bill

    That look on Dorothy’s face in the last panel ….
    “No matter how messed up my world is, Walky, I can always count on you to be you.”

  24. Falcon

    Also, I love how Walky says Dorothy can’t have any milkshake…when he’s brought two straws and is only using one.

    1. Pablo360

      Obviously he needs two straws because in doubling the total cross-sectional area of straw he can halve the effective force applied to the drink and artificially extend its duration.

      Fractactical. Genius.

    2. jeffepp

      One straw, one spoon.

  25. Bagge

    Walky detect dangerous levels of FEELS so he wacks it up.

    Dorothy loves him for it.

    1. Deanatay

      ITYM ‘Walks it up’.

  26. Pablo360

    Walky has had that milkshake in his bed all day just waiting for Dorothy to come into his room so he could make that pun. He is a fractactical genius.

  27. Gesc

    Wh- I say what is going on that banner??

    And nice save, Walkerton.

    1. Daniel Rodriguez

      Dorothy pegging Walky?

    2. Hellespont

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsieur_Mallah#/media/File%3ABrainmallah.png

  28. Reltzik

    …. I sense new merch coming our way.

    1. EvilMidnightLurker

      I’d buy those bedsheets.

  29. StClair

    “Oh, Walky. Dear, simple Walky.”

    1. DarkoNeko

      hope this doesn’t end like when it was said to Jason last time.

  30. Emperor Norton II

    Hey Bagge, so what do you think of Austen’s parents in Always humans?

    Someone in the discord chat suggested they should be called The Doofdads. Would you agree?

    1. Bagge

      Doofdads! I start to see where Yasel gets it from.

  31. Tawdry Quirks

    I guess Walky has the milkshake equivalent of hammerspace. I wouldn’t mind having milkshakespace powers, although my waistline probably would.

  32. BenRG

    Something tells me that, right now, Dorothy needs Walky to be… well… Walky. That’s all she needs to feel better.

    Meanwhile, I really think that Walky should think about giving her a hug; I really think that she needs one right now.

    1. HunchyBack

      Milkshake first, hug later.

      Dotty will still be sad later, but the milkshake will not be cold later.

      My logic is absolute!

  33. Qir

    I thought they were Steven Universe Homeworld flying pod thingies on the bed sheets.

  34. IKneedYou

    I admire Dorothy’s stamina. I am weak, if I got drunk that early in the day, it means nap time. Immediately.

    Studying/being productive at all = completely impossible.

  35. GaoShiki

    Goddamn, Walky, eating in bed? Gross.

    1. Deanatay

      ?? DUDE.

      You don’t EAT a milkshake!

      1. BBCC

        Not with that attitude!

        1. JBento

          Good luck for the midterm.

        2. BBCC

          Aw, thank you! <3

      2. trlkly

        You sure? The good ones give you spoons…

  36. EvilMidnightLurker

    …that slipshine preview looks like a horrific life-threatening accident is happening during an attempted exotic sexual position.

    1. Rukduk

      From what I can see I assumed that Walky and Dorothy are trying out “pegging” for the first time.

      1. OnyxIdol

        Yeah, that’s what I thought as well.

    2. Trolldrool

      Kind of like the BioWare sex scenes. A horrible game of naked twister gone horribly wrong.

  37. gkheyf

    Nothing is just a figure of speech with you, is it? -__-

    1. JBento

      There’s two figures speaking, here. Why would you have a figure speaking all by itself? That way lies madness! I should know.

  38. Deanatay

    I’d share it, but I’d…

    NUH-UH IT’S AAAAAAALL MINE

    *SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*

    gggggghhhhh BRAIN FREEEEEEZE

    1. Deanatay

      And Willis? They’re ‘Dexter’ bedsheets.

      You named him. Stick with it.

      1. BBCC

        Dexter, the Head Alien.

        Either is correct. 😛

        1. Reltzik

          Only when HA isn’t depicted as right-clawed.

  39. Vulcanodon

    My first thought was her wire-frame glasses would be bent laying her head against the pillow like that without taking them off. Second thought was this is the first time she and Walky make out while she is drunk.

    1. Bagge

      I’m sure they didn’t make it through frozen without at least one kiss.

      1. Emperor Norton

        Pretty sure that Dorothy would reckognise the painting “The Swing” -and- know what it’s really about* as it showed up in the movie. This would remind her her own moments of “being on a swing” with Walky. Resisting to kiss him would be impossible.

        *Very short version, it’s about a woman reaching her climax during sex. That’s Disney for you, always putting in dirty stuff like that.

        1. Bagge

          The hat symbolizes a penis.

          It’s a very subtle painting.

  40. brasca1

    Billie drinks some pretty powerful stuff if Dorothy is still buzzed after everywhere she’s been.

  41. Schol-R-LEA

    But does it bring the room together?

  42. calvsie

    Head alien head bed-sheets no less

  43. Thursday Violist

    “all the girls” means there’s been more girls over in Walky’s place recently.

  44. Killjoy

    How to build an Autocracy

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/03/how-to-build-an-autocracy/513872/

    1. BBCC

      Thank you.

      1. BBCC

        Also – y’all, Sessions vote toorrow. Call the committee (202-224-5225) and tell them to note no.

  45. Berky

    I want a relationship as pure and majestic as this

  46. trlkly

    Is this our first glimpse of what his favorite cartoon actually looks like, or have I missed it before?

    1. Jhon

      There are 47 posts tagged ‘monkey_master’, so I’d guess ‘yes’.

  47. JessWitt

    Like a Polaroid picture.

  48. BBCC

    Panel One: Yeah, this seems about right for a Tuesday night for Walky. Just hanging out in his bed playing on his phone. Or texting. Or web surfing. Wonder what he’s looking at or who he’s talking to. Is it too much to ask he’s looking for how to drop math?

    Panel Two: Hello, Dorothy. She looks so disgruntled and annoyed here. Whether that’s with Grace or because she’s upset about her social skills and apparent image is up to anyone. I’m thinking a little of both.

    Panel Three: Awwwwwww, this is so cute! This reminds me of Joyce crawling into Ethan’s bed for cuddles when she was sad. Or Billie crawling into Walky’s bed. And yeah, it’s awkward and hard to navigate when stuff like that happens, especially if you aren’t sure what’s wrong.

    Panel Four: Unlike Ethan or himself when Billie crawled in, Walky seems to be taking this pretty well. He’s casual and joking and seems more like he’s talking to himself than Dorothy. Meanwhile, Dorothy is sad and kind of pensive. She’s definitely deep in thought.

    Panel Five: And is promptly yanked out of those depressing thoughts by Walky goofing around. She’s smiling again, wryly noting yeah, she loves this doofus. And he’s happy to make jokes that will make her smile. And of course, happy not to share his milkshake that I’m guessing was on the foot of the bed? Oh, Walky. You dork.

    Not quite doofuses, but they’re very cute! Dooooooooorks.

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