238

II
Posted on May 27, 2015 by David M Willis

238 thoughts on “II”

  1. Jen Aside

    don’t s’pose that works for “Tonight I’m Fucking You” does it

    1. LiaHansen

      married couples get to say whatever they want to each other, jesus cant do squat

      1. Jen Aside

        http://www.theonion.com/article/local-lutheran-minister-loves-to-fuck-his-wife-854

        1. Kris

          Wha-What did I just read?

        2. That Damn Rat

          I believe they call it satire.

        3. Some Unregistered Punk

          The Onion is a satirical newspaper. It’s all they do.

          It really gets hilarious when offical news groups picks up on their stories and reports it as if they report is based on reality.

        4. Kaoy

          Like when a Chinese web news outlet reported with sincerity that Kim Jong-Un had been reported Sexiest Man Alive.

          http://www.theonion.com/article/kim-jong-un-named-the-onions-sexiest-man-alive-for-30379

        5. John

          The problem is, these days, reality is just Onion stories from like four years ago.

        6. MichaelHaneline

          Hah, not even that long, sometimes: http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-11056 in 2004 and http://money.cnn.com/2005/09/14/news/fortune500/gillette/ in 2005.

        7. Solenoid

          Satire is dead, and we killed it. We killed it mercilessly.

        8. fogel

          “Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” Tom Lehrer

        9. Tayo

          i love you jen

      2. David

        I guess you didn’t get the memo from Pope John Paul II. It’s still demeaning to the value of marriage to view your wife with concupiscence in your heart.

        If he didn’t get to have fun, why should anybody else?

        1. Rycan

          As if Joyce’s mom would heed anything said by the Pope.

        2. Just saying

          Unless you’re catholic, you generally don’t care what the pope says. Loooots of variations on Christian.

        3. Charlie Spencer

          Can I view her with tumescence in my penis?

        4. Rich

          I know they call them one-eyed trouser snakes, but I’m pretty sure you can’t actually view anything with one.

        5. Trismagestus

          Sadly, one-eyed trouser snakes are naturally blind after spending most of their lives in the dark.

        6. Rycan

          Not a very useful eye if it spends 90% of its time in pants or underwear (depending on whether you sleep nude or not). And when you do get a view of something other than cotton, it’s often shit.

        7. Charlie Spencer

          The disadvantages of being a penis: your next door neighbor is an asshole, your two best friends are nuts, and your only entertainment is being stuck in slimy, smelly cave and forced to do push-ups until you puke.

    2. Lawzlo

      …Or “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight.”

    3. Opus the Poet

      Just one thing for this… http://www.agetec.org/debate/wp-content/triple-facepalm-picard-543.jpg

    4. Aeron

      “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.”

      It-It’s a song about animals. Yeah, and animals didn’t eat from the tree of life so they are sinless so it’s okay!

  2. otusasio451

    Yeah, and Lil Sean’s “Ass” is about donkeys.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Specifically the one Joseph and Mary rode to Bethlehem. It’s practically a hymn.

      1. Leorale

        Or Balam’s talking donkey! That’s a great and weird biblical story…

        1. Rycan

          If I recall, the donkey was smarter than Balam.

        2. Daibhid C

          And then it had babies with a dragon, but they were married so that’s okay.

          Or that might have been a different talking donkey, theology’s not my best subject.

        3. Rycan

          I’m pretty sure the Book of Ogre isn’t considered canon.

        4. gwalla

          It was retconned out by Kingdome Come.

    2. JetstreamGW

      It would significantly improve the song.

  3. Doctor_Who

    Joyce’s Mom totes has a copy of 50 Shades in her nightstand, doesn’t she.

    1. Matthew Davis

      If they’re anything like they were in the other universe there’s a whole side to them that Joyce is currently blissfully unaware of.

      1. Leorale

        Yep, in the other universe, it wasn’t 50 shades, it was the Kama Sutra. Or, as her parents called it, the really good book.

    2. MM

      No, there’s unequivocal premarital hanky-panky in there. The source material, on the other hand…

  4. addude

    Now it’s College party for Walky

    1. cesium133

      This cannot end well.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I seriously hope Walky’s alcohol tolerance is the same in this continuity. We’ve seen the effect it has on his sister already.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        His “end” will not be well.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    That’s a loophole big enough for ZZ Top to slip through.

    1. a4lbi

      “Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and or roll…”

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        “Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn in my dad’s car?”

        1. Animal

          I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
          Long as I got my plastic Jesus,
          Riding on the dashboard of my car.
          Comes in colors pink and pleasant,
          Glows in the dark ’cause it’s iridescent,
          Take it with you when you travel far!

    2. Rheinman

      Not that I’m complaining, but are any of their songs NOT about sex? Although, “Tube Snake Boogie” is supposedly about surfing. Riiiiiiight.

      1. Rich

        “Jesus Just Left Chicago” springs to mind. That’s the only one I can think of, though.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Driving While Blind was about DUI…

        2. Rheinman137

          Major values dissonance on that one. Harmless fun in the ’70’s, completely inappropriate today.

      2. Captain Batson

        I think “Stages”. And probably “Thug”. Maybe “Delirious”, but I’m not sure about that one.

      3. DiDi

        Who? ZZ Top or Boyz II Men?

        If the latter, I can name at least 3 off the top of my head. If the former? I have no earthly idea.

      4. Charlie Spencer

        Same question regarding Prince.

      5. Animal

        I remember back about 1979 or so, a group of us were swacked out of our minds on beer and Wild Turkey, watching an old Patrick Wayne “Sinbad” movie with claymation monsters – with the sound turned off and a ZZ Top album playing in the background.

        It worked surprisingly well. I recommend it.

      6. tim gueguen

        “TV Dinners” maybe.

  6. a4lbi

    Literal LOL.

    At least Joyce’s mom has good taste in music…?

  7. MeghanTheWorld

    There’s not enough alcohol in the world to wash away that comment is there

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That’s why they invented Draino. 😀

      1. Disloyal Subject

        …that was already funnier than it should be, but with that gravatar… Ouch.

        1. DarkoNeko

          This is perfect.

      2. Rycan

        Washing away your gastrointestinal tract doesn’t count.

        1. marianne

          Sure it does! Without a functioning GI system to support it, the brain is guaranteed to be unable to retain that information for long! It’s also guaranteed to be unable to live for long, but that’s a minor detail.

  8. Rich

    Walky finished his chips already, didn’t he?

    1. MeghanTheWorld

      I’d like to imagine he has them hidden in his giant hoodie pocket for later.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I know I wasn’t the only person to do that!

        …It works well with Oreos, when your mom says you can’t have any more because dinner’s almost ready.

      2. Rich

        Along with some sushi, no doubt.

        1. saltchocolate

          Nice one.

      3. Tacos

        At first I read it as Walky hid them in actual hood of the hoodie. Though I guess he’d probably do that too.

        1. MeghanTheWorld

          When you put the hood on it’s like a rain of Nachitos…brb gonna go invent the greatest thing ever!

        2. Tacos

          I…. may have already done something similar to that. ‘Cept with peanuts >.>

        3. MeghanTheWorld

          As long as they’ve been shelled should be fine…but if not you may need the hospital. Unless you’re like an elephant.

        4. Tacos

          Naw they were still in the shell. I had a bag of them and put them in my hoodie since it didn’t have pockets and I didn’t want to carry the bag. Then I forgot about it when I went to put up my hood later.

        5. Rycan

          …It’s going to be soft-serve all over again, isn’t it?

        6. John

          That’s for beer.

  9. Idon'tcarenomore

    Most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. But, then….

    1. Rich

      Really? Were you in a coma during the entire 2012 Presidential campaign or something?

      1. Just saying

        American** presidential campaign. Not everyone on this site is from America/gives a crap about American politics/was old enough to be interested in politics 3 years ago.

        1. fogel

          True, but Real Amercuns really. Just. Do. Not. Care. Bout. You. Sorry. No wait, Real Amercuns are sorry bout nothin. So, meh.

        2. Rich

          If you want to be picky, that would be “United States” election, not American. There are two continents named America, and even the northern one is shared with other countries.

          But whether you cared or not, our pervasive media obsession blanketed the planet with some of the highest-quality stupidity ever seen for over a year. And that stuff was broadcast. I expect we’ll eventually have to apologize to galactic civilization about that.

        3. Estron

          That would be overly picky, in my opinion, Rich. The formal names of almost any country on the globe look like “State of ___,” “Republic of ___,” or “Kingdom of ___.” There’s also, officially, “United States of Mexico” and the “Federated States of Micronesia,” which no one thinks should not be called Mexico and Micronesia. So, why don’t we get to claim “America” and be “Americans”?

        4. Rich

          Meh. I was poking fun at Just Saying for objecting to my not being specific enough I an offhand joke about our obnoxious politicians, in part by not being specific enough myself. Not worth arguing about.

          Our southern neighbor is properly translated as the United Mexican States though, not the US of M. Bit like if we were the United American States – close, but not quite right. Calderon tried to get the name changed to just Mexico a few years back, but it didn’t take AFAIK.

        5. Rycan

          Plus, most of Latin America refers to us at estadounidense, which you could roughly translate to ‘United States-ians’. Granted, they also refer to us as americanos (and gringos, but that’s similar to calling us ‘Yankees’). Then, to make matters more confusing, the Brazilians like to call us norte-americanos, as if we’d actually managed to conquer Canada and Mexico (we’ve tried in the past, and partially succeeded in the latter case).

        6. Random832

          Couldn’t it also be translated as Mexican United States?

        7. Rycan

          Not quite the same thing. The only other country that claims the name of the continent it resides upon is Australia, and that’s because most of that continent is the Commonwealth of Australia.

          But, the convention now is that US citizens are referred to as ‘Americans’ (there’s precious little else to choose when we call ourselves the ‘United States of America’). At least we can usually distinguish when we’re talking about the continents (‘the Americas’, ‘North America’, ‘South America), unlike Australia.

        8. Badtux

          I tried typing “United States of America” everywhere I was referring to the country once. It made for some very wordy paragraphs. After a while I ended up just abbreviating it to “America” because my fingers got tired of typing. Which is what most people end up doing from the start, because they’re not humorless pedants.

        9. Random832

          One tricky thing about this that’s not necessarily obvious is that even though the supercontinent of which “North America” and “South America” are subdivisions is called “The Americas” in English, it really is called “America” in most other languages.

        10. fogel

          Except that the United States has no elections. Even for President, the states have 50 elections on the same day to elect delegates to The Electoral College, who then get to vote for President. Cause we live ina juryrigged — not to mention gerrymandered — 18th Century Rube Goldberg Federal Republic.

  10. Idon'tcarenomore

    Careful Walky.

  11. SmartAlrc105

    Is Billie not wearing pants?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Who needs them?

    2. MeghanTheWorld

      Depends on if you’re in England or America. Though I suppose Billie is in America isn’t she.
      Although even in England she still may not be…

      1. JessWitt

        Sounds like you are confusing England for France.

        1. Pagannerd

          You don’t NEED pants in England on account of ”pants” being British for underwear.

        2. DarkoNeko

          Wait what.

        3. Just saying

          Nope. In England “pants” are what they call underwear. What Americans call “pants” English people call “Trousers”.

          So in England “pants” are really a personal choice. But in America it’s kind of obvious if you aren’t wearing your “pants”.

        4. fogel

          And in France, sans culotte!

        5. Tenn

          ‘Cos no one in France wears the underpants? (Possibly NSFW, depending on your workplace’s policy on pixelated cartoon winkies.)

        6. fogel

          Is there a Japanese fetish/kink about pixilated cartoon winkies?

    3. Doctor_Who

      Everyone knows that at a good party you eventually lose your pants. Billie is hoping this will become a good party if she’s proactive.

      1. Maveric1984

        On the next Slipshine: Pantsless Billie does an Orgie!

    4. nothri

      I’ve been asking myself that for awhile. She probably has on shorts or something, but a boy can dream.

      1. No Name

        Or a lesbian. Don’t forget the lesbians.

        Or the Bisexuals, for that matter.

        1. fogel

          No one will forget the lesbians while Becky is around ….

  12. dr-calamity

    I have but one question…
    where was she keeping that flask?

    1. MeghanTheWorld

      I’m pretty sure she conjured it through sheer will.

    2. Rich

      Blast, beaten to it.

    3. boomwolf

      Clearly, characters in all forms of media, especially those of the comical variety, and especially frequent consumers of alchohol posses their own little pocket dimension with which they can carry a flask of their favorite alchoholic beverage.

    4. nothri

      A pocket, I assume. There are…other options, but I’d rather not think about it…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFtHjV4c4uw

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      In her Victoria’s Secret Compartment naturally.

      http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VictoriasSecretCompartment

    6. Doctor_Who

      Know how cartoon characters can keep things like hammers in a place called Hammerspace?

      With Billie it’s more like Hammeredspace.

      1. Rheinman

        Beat me to it. +1 interwebs to you, Doctor

      2. MM

        Billie’s the Booze Fairy!

      3. Someone

        http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hammerspace

        Yup

    7. Smiling Cat

      A female friend of mine with a similar body type to Billie once successfully concealed my airsoft pistol on her person on a dare, while wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans. Suffice it to say that while I was certain I knew where it was hidden, going after it would have probably compromised the friendship between not only us, but me and her husband as well.

      1. Animal

        Mrs. Animal routinely conceals an actual pistol on her person while wearing a t-shirt and jeans. It’s not at all hard.

    8. Rycan

      Ponytail.

    9. fogel

      She was keeping it in Flask Space.

    10. Halloween Jack

      Funny you should ask.

  13. Plasma Mongoose

    This is why I drink…

    1. Bill

      I drink to make other people interesting.

  14. poofdepoof

    Walky is endlessly endearing to me, not sure why. Especially since he failed that math quiz, but even before that I think I’ve been a fan. Hm ^_^

    1. Rich

      I liked him since he hucked an action figure at Dorothy’s head in their first class together.

  15. Rich

    Where did Billie have that hip flask stowed?

    1. Someone

      Same place where Joyce stored a giant laser cannon in its walky

      1. fogel

        Giant Laser Cannon Space?

  16. nothri

    I would fucking love it if Billie would move beyond this “I hate who I am” thing to something like “I want to be something I don’t hate”. Its a serious waste of a good epiphany there.

    Also, she’s clearly extremely helpful. She’s already provided Walky with the most effective means to get through this party. Friends don’t let friends go to a Joyce party sober.

  17. Mr. Mendo

    Yay! Walky and Billie bonding!

  18. Reflex76

    “Who’s that girl?”

    “That’s Ramona Flowers.”

  19. dailybrad

    I grew up Christian, and as you know, they have high standards. Which is to say, everything comes with multiple standards and you’ve got to stack them to make room.

    1. Estron

      I may steal that line. Thanks.

  20. Ancestral Hamster

    “What is in Billie’s flask, and what proof is it?” are two questions that I’d like to see answered in forthcoming comics.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      At least 120% I would guess.

    2. nothri

      Well, it has to give HER a buzz, so obviously it has a power level of over 9000.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Face. Palm.

  21. chris73

    Would this be Joyces lamest comment to date?

  22. Wack'd

    Honey, I think it’s about an accordion…

    1. Leorale

      It goes in and out and in and out

  23. Em

    UH EXCUSE YOU IT’S BOYZ WITH A Z NOT AN S. Actually I don’t really care I just thought I should be a brat.

    Anyway, Billie come on. Get past this whole too cool for Walky phase you’re in. I don’t understand it. Also, is this Walky’s first drink? Haha Joyce is gonna be piiiiiiissed.

    1. MeghanTheWorld

      I don’t think it’s a ‘too cool for you’ thing I think it’s more of ‘I’m depressed and just want you to forget I’m here’ thing

    2. nothri

      I’m pretty sure her current phase is “I’m too horrible for real friends”.

      1. nothri

        But yes, she should still get past it.

    3. Rich

      So they’re actually greenskins from Warhammer 40K, then?

      1. insomniac

        CLOSE YOUSE OEYES, MAKE TH’ WISH
        AN’ BLOW OUT THER CANDLE-LIGHT!
        ‘CAUSE TONOIGHTS IS JUS’ YER’ NOIGHT
        WE’S GONNA CELEBRATE ALL THROUGH THE NOIGHT!

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          Oi, needs more dakka!

        2. Rich

          Waaagh, and stuff.

  24. Tacos

    …. Where’d Billie get the flask from?

    1. KingMabel

      From her bum.

    2. Maveric1984

      Hammerspace

    3. Captain Batson

      Victoria’s Secret Compartment.

      1. Em

        Yes actually I wouldn’t be surprised if she was holding it between her boobs.

        1. DarkoNeko

          Same.

        2. fogel

          What else has she got in there?

        3. Tacos

          More alcohol.

  25. AgentKeen

    Yay, drunk Walky. Cause he probably holds alcohol about as well as Sal (not well).

  26. tim gueguen

    I wonder what Billie’s booze du jour is. Obviously something that goes well with cola.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Cinnamon schnapps! perfect with real Coca Cola.

    2. Rich

      Rum?

    3. girlandcat

      Pretty sure it’s anything she can get her hands on, but I believe she has been depicted drinking whiskey before (the night she attempted to wait up to make Sal sign the roommate agreement).

  27. Rodimiss

    I really, really love this strip, because this is one of my favorite kind of gags, and the expressions in the final panel are priceless.

    I worry about where drunk Billie and Walky will lead but that’s a worry for tomorrow’s update, because this update I just find really, really funny.

    1. MM

      Dorothy’s there, so it presumably can’t go all that wrong for Walky. Unless he blurts something about being unworthy of her because of his math exam.

      1. MeghanTheWorld

        Well have you heard of Willis’ Law? It’s sort of like the big brother to Murphy’s Law

        1. No Name

          Anything that can go wrong, most definitely will go wrong every time the opportunity arises?

        2. Rich

          Thought it was “What can go wrong will go wrong, and what can’t go wrong will find a way to do so anyway.”

        3. merbrat

          *facepalm* Ruth not worried about Joyce’s party.
          Sends Billie to report back. Billy creates drunk!walky.

        4. Rycan

          Well, it’s a great way of answering the question of whether or not there will be a problem.She sent Billie, so there will be a problem!

    2. Rycan

      Well, Billie will be fine, thanks to her steel alcoholic liver. But Walky will make this party interesting again, until he passes out.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Wait until he hs to run puke in the shared bathroom where Sarah hides.

  28. Romanticide

    Billie… she cares…. she shares, and she shares because she cares.

  29. Architex

    Joyce can be DJ at my next party

    1. JessWitt

      Joyce’s playlist is awfully Kimmy Schmidt-ish, tho I may be off a decade.

  30. Nono

    Would Dorothy frown on Walky underage drinking? She’s generally more accepting of most things than Joyce, but I don’t know if she’ll cut the Walkster some slack for something that’s technically illegal.

    Also calling that Walky is going to spill the beans about his 26 when drunk.

  31. Someone

    Im surprised that Billie is willing to share her booze like that.

    1. nothri

      Billie isn’t made of stone. Some things are best forgotten, and Billie has a ready supply of brain bleach.

  32. Someone

    You know with this strip I never know what is going to be a quick gag, and what is going to cause a weeks worth of drama.

    1. JessWitt

      Them’s the perks of being an Internet comic.

  33. Tom

    Boyz II Men’s hit single “Quick I Think The Kid’s Asleep”

    1. KingMabel

      Just behind their classic “The Kids are eating ice cream outside, we have like 5 minutes”

      1. Dean

        And the B-side ‘Shut The Door, They Won’t Hear Us If We’re Quiet’.

  34. Sabrina Pandora

    Someone’s right. That is surprisingly generous of Billie.

    Okay David- can I call you David?

    I’m dense. Where can I find your toy reviews? They were one of my favorite parts of Shortpacked, and I really miss them because they don’t run in the sidebars here. Please help a hapless wayward fan of your work and direct me in the appropriate direction? Athankew.

    You really are a master of this variable paneled strip style of storytelling. It is often a surprising pleasure but always deftly delivered. You have practiced long and hard at this, and we’re catching you in your stride. You’ve got all of the character designs and characterizations down and your backgrounds are second nature by now. You work weeks and months ahead because they all speak so clearly and interact so well and plotlines occur to you, presenting themselves with ease. Which you unfold patiently for the audience.

    It is a genuine joy to watch you enjoy yourself this much while you enjoy commercial success as well. I think you are the American dream of comics. “Work hard, make something good and you will succeed.”

    All that plus be your own boss too.

    1. Hugo_ebeds

      Well, if you go on to the ‘ShortPacked!’ site, you’ll find that the toy reviews are now the main thing and the comic is on the side.

      1. StClair

        you will also find DAB.

        1. Tenn

          Praise be to him.

        2. Tacos

          Dab dab dab…. Dab.

      2. Sabrina Pandora

        *facepalm*

  35. KingMabel

    Oh snap she broke out Boys II Men. This party is getting serious.

  36. Kennerly

    You can listen to anything as long as your mother approves.

    1. Em

      “Lick it by God-des and She is totally fine as long as you pretend it’s about heterosexual married couples!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Why2n9XtlNw (absolutely NOT SAFE FOR WORK AT ALL and sadly some words are censored)

      1. Bill

        Just going to say “Garfunkel and Oates”.  Most of you can take it from there….

  37. KingMabel

    So is there any Luther Vandross in this mix?

    1. saltchocolate

      You can’t even pretend that Luther is married. (“Creep, creep, creep, creep . . . “)

    2. fogel

      Barry. White.

  38. Kennerly

    You don’t know horror until you’ve heard a 5 year old girl sing “I’ll Make Love to You” at an amusement park karaoke kiosk.

    1. RandomTechGuy

      Or your 6 year old son singing “I’ve got all the right junk in all the right places…”

      1. Rycan

        Interesting take on “All the Right Moves”.

    2. Rycan

      Children love all sorts of songs that they couldn’t possibly understand the lyrics to.

      1. John

        I’ve got an honorary niece who when she was five or so really loved all the songs from Rocky Horror.

    3. Joseph

      A childrens choir singing “When I Think About You I Touch Myself”. It exists, it is nauseating.

      1. Random832

        Well clearly it’s about thinking about god, and one hand touching the other in prayer.

  39. TheLurkerAbove

    Welp, that’s it. Walky’s gonna be out for the night.

  40. Pyr05

    Reminds me of how my mom loved Elton John music until he came out. Then it was all smashy smashy to all the CD’s.

    1. Daibhid C

      I was watching my Muppet Show DVDs a while back, and when the Elton John episode came on I called through my mum who’s a bit of a fan.

      When he performed Crocodile Rock in a feathered outfit and rhinestone swimming cap, she rolled her eyes and said “Can you believe he was supposed to be in the closet in the seventies?”

      1. Chris

        Likewise, “Nikita” is a man’s name, despite the music video constantly showing a woman. It’s like Elton John was never very closeted, but people around him kept having to build up those walls.

        1. Captain Batson

          I don’t actually know what song you’re talking about, but I was confused for quite a while when I heard people speaking of Nikita Khrushchev because I thought he was a woman.

    2. DarkoNeko

      That must have been hilarous (seen from a safe distance, anyway)

      1. Pyr05

        If only.. from a distance. .-.

    3. Random832

      I heard a story once of someone who threw out all their Wham CDs when they found out George Michael was gay… and replacing them with Ricky Martin.

  41. Marvelman

    Is this the storyline in which we get to see Joyce drunk?

    1. Em

      Doubtful. I don’t think she’ll be able to touch the stuff for a long while yet.

  42. Bagge

    Yey! Billie and Walky are bonding

  43. Disloyal Subject

    This is shaping up to be a… Good? Bad? Memorable?
    …this is shaping up to be a night.

  44. Streben

    Burst into laughter when I realized what was happening and why in the last panel. Thank you Mr. Willis, that was great. He doesn’t even need to ask her, she just pours him some. XD

    1. Bill

      He does hold the glass out, though ….

      1. Rich

        Sometimes you don’t need words.

  45. SDGlyph

    Oh, Billie.

  46. GVick

    Okay, no one has said this, but how often have you ended a party with a hook-up? Is this the night for Joyce and Becky?

    1. Em

      Ethan and Danny is more likely than Joyce and Becky. But so is like, any other pairing ever. The Joyce and Becky ship crashed at the dock. Never sailed for even a little.

      1. Gordon

        The SS Joyce Becky spent almost a decade under construction, but tragically left port on its maiden voyage with only half its crew and passengers. The ship didn’t even make it out of the harbor before it capsized and sank like a stone.

        1. fogel

          10 August 1628, maiden voyage of the hugely powerful, innovative new warship Vasa, commisioned by the King of Sweden as a weapon with which to dominate the Baltic Sea: “Vasa sank, after sailing barely 1300 meters”, within Stockholm harbor. (Amazingly, no one was hung or beheaded over the loss. In the 1960s Vasa was recovered from the bottom of Stockholm harbor and is now the centerpiece of a very cool museum.)

        2. Gordon

          Thanks for that, as I am now stuck reading about nautical terminology and Swedish naval history all night.

        3. fogel

          :-0

        4. fogel

          Wait … 🙂

  47. JBento

    Fill it up and keep it coming, Billie, and maybe sensible people can make it through that party without resorting to violence…

  48. Jimmy

    I hate to say it, but this is the type of party I’d enjoy a lot more. Every time I went to a “real” college party I felt so overwhelmed and completely out of place.

  49. DarkoNeko

    Joyce, pushing people to alcoholism since 2015.

  50. fogel

    Whats Beckys playlist like?

    1. Gigafreak

      ♫I kissed a girl, I liked it…♫

      1. Em

        Anything by God-Des and She.

      2. Rich

        Seriously? The Katy Perry knockoff version? Boo. Jill Sobule did it first, and better.

        “Kissed a girl, her lips were sweet…”

        1. Gigafreak

          I dunno. That’s from 20 years ago, and Becky’s about 18?
          Joyce’s Boyz II Men track has the explanation that her mother listened to it. Conversely, the only way Becky would have heard Jill Sobule’s song would be via Ross allowing it to play on the house or car radio in her toddler years. She’s just way more likely to be aware of the Katy Perry song.

          I should see if I can find the Jill Sobule track on YouTube when I get home, given all the positive opinions on it.

        2. Rich

          You’re the one quoting the Perry version, not Joyce or her parents. I say again, boo. Shoddy imitation.

        3. Captain Batson

          “I kissed a girl and dad pulled me out of college”

        4. fogel

          “Papa dont preach.”

  51. Willoughby Chase

    I love me some of that rock’n’roll!

  52. ridtom

    I forget, why does Billie not want Walky being nice to her?

    1. Rycan

      Billie used to think she was too good to be nice to Walky. Now, she thinks she’s not good enough to deserve Walky being nice to her. Not entirely baseless, but Billie’s been really hard on herself lately. Started when Ruth caught her lying, and got reinforced by a rant from Alice, a high school friend (or friend-with-benefits) who now wants nothing to do with Billie.

      1. Rycan

        This
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/taste/

        this
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/orbiting/

        this
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/joycespeak/

        and this
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/dramahurricane/
        _

        Archive diving is fun!

        1. fogel

          How do you find particular strips so fast?

  53. Saru

    Don’t look now Billie, but I think your ass-flab is definitely hanging out.

  54. Iron Glenn

    I still ship Billie and Walky.

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      I’d rather ship the ship that Walky and Billie both support more than Billie/Walky, Billie/Sal
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/gross/

  55. zebrathinker

    drunk walky? drunk walky.

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