333

Clear
Posted on October 15, 2014 by David M Willis

333 thoughts on “Clear”

  1. Jen Aside

    [/Mr. Burns]

    1. Marc in MN

      “Excellent…”

      1. brionl

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=YKUOB8MN4Kc

    2. Maveric1984

      Relevant

      1. Tunaro

        Also relevant
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVY1-v97Mic

      2. Marc in MN

        As some may know, the University of Minnesota’s team name is the Golden Gophers. I once heard that the football team plays this video on the giant screen behind the uprights whenever the opposing team is kicking a field goal.

        It’s almost certainly not true — but just think how awesome that would be if it was. haha

        1. Kelly

          The team name being Golden Gophers is why the gopher protocol, the predecessor to HTTP, is called that. Last time I checked, there were still a few gopher servers online…

        2. snogglethorpe

          Gopher wasn’t really “the predecessor” to http… they were roughly contemporary, and gopher enjoyed more early popularity (it was simpler and easier to implement than http+html), though obviously it was eventually displaced by http+html.

        3. Kelly

          ah, right you are, the first RFCs both came out in 1991.

        4. Bibulb

          HUH. I thought Gopher was a LITTLE older. (And yeah, easier to implement on a terminal-based system, to be sure.)

        5. hof1991

          OMG. The days of gopher, Archie and veronica. Pine too. And a 9600 baud modem on my 386sx. Return with us to those thrilling days of yesteryear.

        6. John

          I still use pine.

        7. Joe

          I still use Lynx.

          Ok, yes, only once in a blue moon, but still.

        8. Sailor_Arashi

          Pine
          Is
          Not
          Elm

        9. Razzmatazz MacKenzie

          The actually do play that video, I’m pretty sure.

    3. Foxhack

      I think Mr. Burns would go “Mary, no.”

  2. TSB

    uggggggggggggggh mary

    1. Tunaro

      Coulda been bad. Coulda been HORRIBLE, even. But now SHE’S involved.

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Fuuuuuuck. Mary.
      Also fuck Mary.
      (as in I greatly dislike Mary, not the other possible meaning of that sentence – ew)

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Glad you clarified that, otherwise threesomes would have come to mind.

        1. Lel

          But JAYSUS, PM! Lesbian 3somes make BABBY JAYSUS cry!

      2. JWLM

        Fuck Mary? It’s been done.

        1. Toad

          Fuck Mary Kill?

      3. Khaner

        Aren’t you supposed to hail her?

        1. GothQueenSparkleshire

          no, you’re supposed to put holes in her.

        2. Griffinguy24

          In that you throw hailstones at her, yes

      4. shammers

        it’s so ironic that she’s such a hopeless twat when she was named after this woman who was free from original sin

      5. Riku

        Considering how things went for her in roomies I’d like to fast forward to “fuck Mary” really.

        Uh… spoilers etc

    3. anonymous

      Stupid gravatar

      1. CommunistCanada

        Agreed.

        1. MrSirk

          Ditto.

        2. butting

          Word.

        3. John

          *goes down the row of Marys, punching them all in the face*

        4. Kelly

          Maybe I can help with that?

        5. Arcian

          This is my new favourite comment chain

        6. pyrophobia

          this row of gravatars has just been all too perfect *wipes a tear*

        7. Mal

          I don’t know, I kind like being randomly Mary.

        8. Airyu

          I feel like your gravatar grows on you. Like I don’t like Joyce a whole heck of a lot, so I was sad when she was my gravatar at first, but lately I’ve enjoyed seeing her smiling face next to my username

    4. Leorale

      Mary! UNH! Good god, y’all.

      1. begbert2

        What is she good for?

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Absolutely nothing.

        2. Deanatay

          Say it again!

        3. JWLM

          There’s something happening here // what it is ain’t exactly clear

        4. BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!

          Horror grips us as we watch you die // All we can do is echo your anguished cries

  3. ShaggyDonahugh

    NOOOOO

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      Oh damn you Willis! MIKE would have been a better option than that foul little witch!

      1. Kelly

        Mike’s too nice.

      2. Badeyes

        But ‘Foul Little Witch’ is so seasonably appropriate!

      3. 4th Dimension

        This does reintroduce Mary/Billie fights/rivalry from the roomiest. And considering this is Billie, Mary is getting punched hard when Billie finds out.

        1. Adam Black

          But whats Missing is the Ruth-Danny friendship.

          There could be an interesting Dynamic if Mary comes between Danny and Ethan. Mary somehow befriends them both.
          Ethan has to stop dating Joyce because she wants a real Bf ( despite her denials )
          and Mary dates Ethan to keep him sexually-respressed and self-hating,
          and stop him from dating Danny.

          Mary has a lot plot-potential to spoil everyones happiness.
          This shows she has been an underused villain.
          Not any more…

        2. 4th Dimension

          Yeah but she is really Billie’s nemesis. She was a shitty friend to Danny and Sal, but mostly she is remembered for being the polar oposite of Billie.

  4. Doctor_Who

    “Aha, they’re gone. At last I can don my tiny fez!”

    1. butting

      She should be careful with that, it’s making her halo sit funny.

    2. ShaggyDonahugh

      Ha, I see it. High five.

      1. Kirt

        Aw, man, and now I can’t *un*-see it.

    3. Maveric1984

      Fez’s are cool.

      1. ShaggyDonahugh

        Faz’s in Fez’s are not.

        1. Tunaro

          Mary in a fez is also not.
          Mike in one probably would be, though.

        2. Doctor_Who

          For some reason I pictured Mike sticking the fez on the front sticky-outy part of his hair, and stifled a little giggle.

        3. Tunaro

          Now imagine Mike in a fez driving around in a comically small red hot rod.

        4. Opus the Poet

          You mean like this? http://media.caranddriver.com/images/08q2/267562/fez-vs-fez-vs-fez-photo-197579-s-429×262.jpg

  5. Khaner

    Mary is going to be even less tolerable than in Roomies, isn’t she…

    1. Yotomoe

      Well she was hardly IN Roomies. So yeah, kinda.

    2. Catullus

      Before tonight I wouldn’t have guessed that were possible.

    3. timemonkey

      Mary was horrible in Roomies, but so was everyone else. here, everyone is good to decent so she seems she’ll seem so much worse even if she’s still exactly the same.

  6. Cephalo the Pod

    HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Pardon me.

  7. Cleo

    DAMMIT

  8. liahansen

    Jesus will most certainly be hearing about this

    1. Yotomoe

      I got him on speed dial.

    2. choosing a name is so hard

      You called?

  9. JebJeb

    Oh right, Mary is evil. Since she’s not shown much I kinda forget about that.

  10. Oliver

    Looks like there will be no redemption for Mary like there has been for Danny.

    1. dailybrad

      Mary was always worse than Danny, for what it’s worth

    2. winter

      No, just wait…
      Pretty soon it will be revealed that Mary is an asshole for super legit reasons and she’s unfairly lashing out at others because she can’t deal, and then everyone will cry and Mary will apologize and everyone will magically forgive her and she’ll be the new favorite character of the comic.
      Except not really, because even if she does all that other stuff, she needs to start making out with chicks if she wants the number one spot.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So what will Mary’s Freudian Excuse will be?

        1. winter

          Since Mary is often not up and dressed by 3pm, obviously this is misplaced rage because Dina eats all the cereal in the dining hall before she makes it there. This would not be a big deal, if she was not a survivor of the captain crunch vs leprechaun lucky war of 1993.

          If there’s a real Freudian excuse for this, knowing Willis, it will be about 10000000x more depressing than that.

        2. John

          Soggies may rule.

          And I dunno, but have you noticed that she always wears those wristbands? Like, always. Sunday-go-to-church clothes? Wristbands. Brushing her teeth in her pajamas? Wristbands. Billie bursts into her room without warning at 3 pm? Nothing but panties and wristbands. The only time I could find where we get a clear shot of her wrists and the wristbands aren’t visible, she’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

          I kinda hope they’re a symbol of her bondage to Jesus Christ or something like that, because I don’t want to have to sympathize with Mary.

        3. winter

          oooooooooh god why? Noooooooo.

          I think you called it. And 10000000x more depressing it would be.

        4. Dean

          Aw man, she’s a cutter, isn’t she?

        5. iggy_rock

          I figure that or to cover a botched suicide attempt.

          Or maybe her wrists get cold a lot…

        6. Rabid Rabbit

          Hmm. It would be an interesting plot point, but (one can hope) too close to Sal’s gloves.

        7. begbert2

          She is exposing a lot of wrist in this comic though. Not that we can see any details, but she doesn’t seem to be to worried about hiding scars or anything.

        8. JWLM

          Oh, God, now you’ve got me thinking of Mary as a sub, cuffs and all. She *has* been a very, very bad girl.

          Where did I put my mental floss? And who stole my brain bleach?

        9. Adam Black

          Blaine is really her father

      2. timemonkey

        …when has that ever happened in a Willis comic? Serious question. Asshole characters are always hated until they become less assholish. Or if their asshole behaviour was comic relief to begin with.

        1. winter

          You are correct, this has never happened in a Willis comic so far as I can remember.

          I was being sarcastic. I’m not ruling out Mary gaining some sympathy points in the long haul, but only if she can stop acting like an ass and start acting like a human being for more than a couple minutes at a time.

          Sidenote, I’m intrigued by the fact that she provided drawings for Joyce’s door after their earlier fallout over churchgoing. It probably doesn’t mean anything, but still…

        2. timemonkey

          Joyce probably paid for them.

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          Judging by the fact that the alt-text to that strip was ‘Mary’s prices are surprisingly reasonable’, you’re probably right.

      3. John

        Dina doesn’t make out with chicks.

        1. Opus the Poet

          But Dina is awesome in so many other ways she doesn’t need to. Also Dina doesn’t make out with dudes either. She might make out with raptors, but that’s only because they’re little and cute.

        2. TJ Baltimore

          I feel like Dina is firmly rooted enough in reality that she wouldn’t want actually to be near a raptor and unprotected, even though she finds then fascinating.

      4. Adam Black

        lol

  11. Black Drazon

    Is this the low-scoring character from the character popularity poll you said would become important soon?

    I was REALLY hoping that would be Becky or Marcie.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Marcie scored low in the popularity poll? I know she hasn’t appeared much, but I was under the impression everyone loved her.

      1. Regalli

        Well, it’s not so much “Rank them” so much as it is “who’s your FAVORITE”.

        Marcie’s awesome, but she’s going up against Dorothy, Joyce, Billie, Amber, and Sal (even just among the girls), who all have way more screentime even before you get into supporting-but-important Dina and Sarah.

        Also, everyone else is at a bit of a disadvantage because Dina. Also, Dina’s hat.

      2. Chris

        Think you’re confusing Marcie with Marcia (sorry, I’m a luddite when it comes to understanding protocols) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2fXs3bf-p0

    2. Jumanji83

      It was bound to happen sooner of later.

      Bring it on, Willis! MY FEELS ARE READY!

  12. AgentKeen

    Clearly, Mary is going to go set-up a nice romantic dinner in a private place for them, so they can be have a nice evening. She just wants them to be happy.

    Pffhahahaha!

  13. Kodra

    Damn you Willis

    1. newllend

      WILLIIIIIIIIS !

  14. Mkvenner

    I hope she dies in a fire of her own making.

    1. Tunaro

      I thank you for giving me the opportunity to say BURN THE bongo!!! BURN HER AT THE STAKE!!!

      1. timemonkey

        But that just releases her into the air so she’ll infect everyone who inhales her.

        1. pyrophobia

          … OH GAWD NO

          okay, new plan, quarantine/solcon forever

      2. The Phantom's Belch

        At the risk of triggering a Monty Python cascade, I’ll say this:

        SHE’S A WITCH! BURN HER!

  15. OsoPescado

    Methinks trouble is afoot…

  16. Yotomoe

    Haha I still somehow think I’m the good guy even though I’m doing the evil person fingers.

    1. Leorale

      Muahaha, this is clearly the laugh of a good person, muahahahahaha

  17. SUGauthor

    Of all the freaking people who could have seen that…

  18. Rani

    END. HER.

    1. newllend

      She has become a problem, she must be elminated.

      1. choosing a name is so hard

        She’s an enemy of the Dalek. She should be exterminated

  19. Keroshino

    No!, no god please no!, No!, NO!
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    1. Tunaro

      WILLLIIIISSSSS!!!!!!! *falls on knees and shakes fists dramatically*

  20. Emoroffle

    I’m going to giver her the benefit of the doubt. She could be thinking about a particularly good piece of pie.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      “What should I have today? Evilberry? Nah, how about wormwood? Ooooh, the witchfruit with loathing flavored sherbert as a topper sounds wonderful!

      1. Emoroffle

        mmm pumpkin spite. The flavor of fall and dickishness.

        1. JWLM

          Perhaps “Pumpkin Spite, the flavor of mankind’s Fall”? You know, just to bring the whole Biblistic message back full circle…

    2. Yotomoe

      I’m so happy I glued my hands together.

  21. synnerman

    So, I guess Billie or Ruth will be playing Nomi Malone while Mary will play Crystal Conners in the re-enactment of “Nomi and Crystal Conners on the stairs” from “Showgirls.”

  22. arank11

    Mary, Mary, quite contrary
    Their secret she’ll sing like a canary

  23. Rosicrucian

    There are two situations in which Mary smiles.

    Neither of them are good.

    1. anonymous

      1. when someone is suffering
      2. when there’s an opportunity to make someone suffer

      1. Rosicrucian

        I was thinking:
        1. When attempting to ingratiate herself to someone.
        2. When about to screw someone over.

        Yours work too, though.

        1. Regalli

          Really, it’s not a huge difference between the two.

  24. someguywithakatana

    So… what’s the issue exactly…?

    1. Rosicrucian

      Mary’s going to try to use this to get Ruth fired out of petty revenge.

      1. Rosicrucian

        Well, and/or blackmail Ruth into special treatment.

        1. someguywithakatana

          But… how…? Is there something I missed? Two girls are banging. Mary might think that’s awful, but it’s 2014. What exactly is going to happen from this getting out?

          There was probably some strip, way back when, that explained why exactly they can’t publicize this, but fuck if I can remember.

          Is there some rule about RA’s not being able to date people on their floor?

        2. Rosicrucian

          It’s generally considered a conflict of interest to be dating someone you have authority over, yes. In the case of an RA, this could lead to them getting fired.

        3. someguywithakatana

          Huh. Well whadaya know?

          Although, to be fair, Ruth has assaulted her charges at least twice to my recollection. If that didn’t get her fired, I doubt dating one will.

          Especially when Mary has no proof but her word.

        4. Erinaceus

          Exactly. Mary has no proof but her word, that two grown-up women spent their night in the same room. Mary doesn’t know about the alcohol (being from germany, I never really got what the problem was with alcohol in the US. In germany, people can buy low-percentage beverages by the age of 16, and high-percentage beverages by the age of 18) and she doesn’t know about the “lesbian suicide pact”. So all she can say is “I saw a resident of the dorm leaving the RA’s room early in the morning.
          I think maybe her in her twisted world-view, she has a leverage, but I think no one will actually care.

        5. DT

          She did establish that the upper echelon love her because she runs a tight ship.

          Mary’s word against hers, I’d say. Hopefully this is a “Mary gets her due” story segment and not “Mary continues to be a raging bongoaroonie”.
          *crosses fingers*

        6. Dorje Sylas

          Well… Ruth did slap Mary over what could be considered a legitimate issue (not investigating the ding dong pranking). While her other “assaults” could be written off as aggressive floor management, the slap would be outright assault.

          She doesn’t have proof, yet, but she’s got the motivation.

        7. Erinaceus

          The ding dong prank was just… a prank (at least, that is what it seemed to be).
          It might be interpreted as willful damage to property, but even then it would be hard to find out who did it. Ruth was right to not investigate this minor act of vandalism. If something like that happened more often, it would be different, but at that time it was a one-time prank. Though I admit Ruth should have been more diplomatic to Mary.
          Oh my… I have gone off-topic.

      2. ShaggyDonahugh

        That fact that it’s these two gravs discussing this is wonderful and terrible.

      3. timemonkey

        ….so? Ruth abuses her power. She SHOULD be fired. Hell, she’d be more likable and have less stress is she wasn’t an RA.

        1. Rosicrucian

          Unless this is part of how she’s paying for college.

        2. timemonkey

          Then she’ll go away. Or get a job somewhere, maybe have a long distance thingy with Billie. Still a better ending than she got in the Walkyverse.

  25. Kernanator

    Aaaaand there’s the other foot.

  26. Catullus

    fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

  27. AgentKeen

    I don’t get to do this often, so:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/male-anatomy/#comment-260423

    Swish.

    1. dailybrad

      Congrats! Yet, how I wish you’d been wrong. yeesh, Mary, you suck.

      1. quix

        Just an FYI, it’s been requested in the FAQ not to go back and comment on old strips to say who’s predictions were right and/or other spoilery things.

        1. unixrevolution

          Quix, nobody is going back to comment on old strips. The timestamps show that quite clearly.

        2. David M Willis

          I put it in the FAQ because it HAPPENS.

          like, for example, right now, in the link provided, before i removed posts

        3. Leorale

          Willis runs a tightly moderated ship. (That’s also why we’re not full of double-posts up in here.)

        4. George

          Aww, shoot, I’ve been guilty of that. Won’t do it anymore.

    2. saltchocolate

      I forgot that Ruth did that. I’d go revenge-y, too, on anyone who laid a hand (and a dick) on me like that. Not that Mary didn’t instigate things… Oh, double-damn…

  28. Plasma Mongoose

    Someone get Mary a pair of orange-tinted glasses, STAT!

  29. burntnorris

    Fucking Mary.

  30. ShaggyDonahugh

    “Whoops” is all you have to say for yourself. For shame Willis.

  31. IAmDeltaS

    GODDAMMIT MARY

    1. 3oranges

      So far that’s one “uggggggggggggggh Mary”, one “Fuuuuuuck Mary”, one “Fucking Mary”, and one “goddammit Mary”.

      I wonder if there’s anything left I can add…damn Mary? Accursed Mary? Bloody Mary? – ah, bloody Mary!

      Bloody Mar…

      1. Hoboturtle

        Well least he didn’t say Candle Jack….. oh… oh shi-

  32. March

    Goddamnit, this bongo again.
    No, seriously, this bongo.
    What is with people who get off on manipulating and hurting other people? Why can’t they drink or smoke like normal people?

    1. ditrysia

      This is really funny given your gravatar
      but agreed

  33. MightionNY

    Mary is pleased that two troubled souls have found comfort and companionship in each other, and this gives her a warm feeling of peace.
    ….
    ….
    ….Right?

    1. Razzmatazz MacKenzie

      Or she thinks (not unreasonably) that Ruth is a terrible RA and this is valid grounds to get her replaced.

  34. RED

    god fucking dammit….why her..WHY WILLIS WHY

    1. Tunaro

      *Sigh* Because he’s Willis.

  35. CRtwenty

    Damn it Mary! We finally get rid of you in the commentary version of Roomies and now you’ve got to worm your way into the plot of DoA.

    Gahhh… so much hatred

  36. Van Jealous

    Jesus loves the little children.
    All the little children of the world!
    Be they yellow, black or white,
    They are precious in his sight.
    Jesus love the little children of the world.

    Except for that fowl born again skank, Mary, that is.

    Ray Stevens.

    1. gwalla

      She’s a bird?

      1. Bagge

        She’s a plane?

        1. xKiv

          She’s a politician?

        2. pyrophobia

          A fundie politician

  37. Flight03

    It only looks bad because we know what happened, but Mary has absolutely no idea what was going on in there. There are dozens of completely innocent reasons for Billie to have been in her RA’s room. So, no, Mary has no idea. Unless Willis is going to reveal something else, or he just messed up a little.

    1. spaceinvader42

      I imagine Mary is the kind of person who would immediately jump to the “illicit lesbian affair” conclusion. Y’know, cuz she’s evil.

    2. Thomas64

      You bet Mary has an idea. She doesn’t have any hard evidence, but she has her suspicions (it has been established earlier in DoA that Mary suspects everyone of everything), and in this case, those suspicions happen to be correct. And given what happened between Mary and Ruth the last time those two crossed paths, it’s a safe bet that Mary is feeling vindictive, so non-hilarity seems guaranteed to ensue.

      1. Adam Black

        Speak for yourself.
        I think it will be Hilarious.

    3. timemonkey

      Mary just watched three people go to Ruth’s door and ask for Billie, Ruth claimed not to know where Billie was but had seen her earlier, then once they’re gone Billie emerges from Ruth’s room all blushing and grinny. Who couldn’t figure out what was going on?

      1. takashid

        Well, we don’t know if Mary saw Walky, Dorothy and Joyce go to Ruth’s door or not. There was no sign of her in those strips that i saw

      2. Regalli

        And depending on how loud they were (and it wouldn’t have to be very loud at all, really, depending on how close Mary’s room is), hearing something about being back later.

  38. Van Jealous

    I spelled foul wrong in that last post….but after looking at in context with today’s panel….I think the f-o-w-l spelling is more apt.

    1. pyrophobia

      cuz she’s going to chirp and cluck about this affair?

  39. Kernanator

    Also, UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH, Mary.

    1. Leorale

      What is she good for? Absolutely nothin’.

  40. NF

    God DAMMIT!!!

  41. TimeLoss

    Could an RA get in trouble for having a relationship with a student on the same floor?

    1. timemonkey

      Sexing up someone in your power is pretty much always against the rules.

      1. Airyu

        I guess I don’t see why in this case because it wasn’t against the rule at my college so long as both parties were over 18.

      2. Airyu

        I mean for teachers it would be, but not for RA’s because they are students too.

    2. Kelly

      Big time.

  42. Eukie

    I kinda hope this turns into low-key high-school prank-ish shenanigans that end up with Mary eating humble pie, and not, say, Mary making a “concerned” phonecall to Grandfather Lessic about his granddaughter’s sinful ways…

    (Well actually that could be pretty cool to see how Ruth deals with.)

  43. RickZarber

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Nice Roomies! reversal though.

    1. John

      So now Billie’s going to see Mary drink a single beer, and then run and tell Danny about it?

  44. Plasma Mongoose

    There’s something odd about Mary.

    1. pyrophobia

      there’s definitely something about mary, that’s for sure

  45. Mattyos

    how this is going to work: Mary will try to do something. It will fail inevitably because Mary is a terrible person who will get what is coming to her.

    1. Superheadache

      Or maybe it will kinda work at first, then come crashing down and backfire but Ruth and Billie will never be the same again.

      1. Mattyos

        As long as it ends without someone getting hit by a truck I am ok with it

  46. Superheadache

    There’s Something About Mary. That something is evil.

    1. JA

      “Is that hair gel?”

      1. Superheadache

        No, it’s her soul calling to the heavens and giving god the finger.

  47. Tunaro

    Egad, that face. It’s like a combination of a shit eating grin and glaring at puppies until they melt.

    1. Regalli

      I was looking for words to describe that face, but yes. That is perfect. That is exactly her face.

  48. sun tzu

    You know what?

    Mary is a foul, vile person. She’s worse than Ruth, no doubt about it. She’s worse than Joyce’s parents. She’s worse than people’s mental image of Danny.

    But if she uses this to get Ruth fired? I’m not so sure I’ll be holding it against her. Ruth is the worst RA in the history of RAing. She seriously needs to be fired yesterday.

    1. timemonkey

      Yeah, Ruth being removed from power is a good thing. She’s abused it and the people under her and there are consequences to such behaviour. Sure, this will be out of spite from somebody horrible but that is but a minor detail.

      1. Regalli

        Definitely.

        That said, it would depend greatly on who the replacement was. Because if it’s, like, Carla, then obviously it’s not a great situation but not significantly worse than Ruth as RA and possibly even a bit better. But if it’s someone like MARY? Then we’re gonna have TROUBLE.

        1. timemonkey

          Even if the next RA was horrible at least it would make Ruth less terrible as she’ll no longer be someone in power abusing her authority. Ruth’s actions have reflected poorly on her when taken on their own, but with the RA position she’s even worse.

    2. Razzmatazz MacKenzie

      Remember, Ruth smacked Mary across the face already. That’s trouble.

  49. Resulli

    Mary hasn’t had a lot of spotlight since the early days of the Walkyverse. I think she’s about to get a fuckton of spotlight and people will hate her all the more for it.

    bongo.

    1. newllend

      She could have stayed a b ranked character and spare herself all the hate but no.

    2. Adam Black

      So much yes!

  50. JA

    I loved the 3rd panel.

  51. Khaner

    Prediction: Mary is actually a lesbian who has been to a “Cure the Gays,” camp and is in fact horribly repressed.

    1. Regalli

      … Okay, see, that is the kind of thing I hope for whenever I vote for seeing more of Mary. Not specifically that, I wouldn’t wish conversion camp on anyone including I see even fictional characters who I hate, but something that shows there’s more to her than “awful judgmental fundamentalist Christian hypocrite”. (Admittedly, we haven’t seen as much of that last one in this continuity, but I’m betting it’ll still be there.)

      1. Dorje Sylas

        She did flip her lid when she figured out Joyce brought an atheist to church. Suggests terrible insecurities when her “faith” is questioned just by proximity.

    2. JWLM

      Heh.

      Gibe Willis credit, here. Yes, Mary is a distasteful nasty…five letter word, starts with bi…Oh, right, bigot. (What did you think I was going to write?) But I see no reason for him to drop her sexuality into the discussion as a Diabolus ex Machina.

  52. newllend

    I since that a great evil has returned…. Shit.

    1. meghantheworldeater

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKu7TYWNxqA

  53. meghantheworldeater

    Well, looks like my options have turned into to either stay up all night or cry myself to sleep. T.T

  54. FaumulusDePopuli

    I’ve been reading for about a year now, and I’ve come this far without cursing Willis yet. I kinda want to see how far I can go before I curse him, and this… well, it isn’t helping.

  55. Lonas

    I was about to ask why Mary would even care and then I remembered ding dong pimp slap. But um…didn’t the ding dong bandit thing get resolved or did Joyce’s confession to Sierra just kind of discourage letting everyone know?

    1. Rutee

      Also it’s two women banging and Mary’s probably about as okay with that as Joyce. Less, actually, since she’s more of a jackass in general.

      1. Rutee

        Also, Joyce wants to nail Dorothy and hasn’t admitted yet, forgot about that; it’s important. /headcanon

        1. Kelly

          very important headcanon

        2. John

          Also Billie and Sal. Or at least Sal’s bike.

      2. Regalli

        Joyce really just needs time and exposure to the fact that people who do not fit her worldview exist, and are in fact people she loves and who cannot control this fact even as they sometimes wish they could. (Among other things, I firmly believe that she will eventually find out about Jocelyn and side with her over their parents. And then go shopping and do cute sister things together. YOU WILL PRY THIS HEADCANON FROM OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS, partly because death is likely to happen before time progresses enough that it would be possible.)

        Mary, on the other hand, when exposed to this fact, would just get more judgmental and awful.

  56. Tom Speelman

    AW CRAP

  57. Mass Confusion

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urb6WPtoKIk

    1. meghantheworldeater

      I just posted this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKu7TYWNxqA
      but I think you win ;_; I concede defeat!

  58. Rutee

    Oh. Snap. I mean, they can play off Billie sleeping in Ruth’s room once, maybe, but it’s not like they just want to meet the one time. I sense I will want to end Mary soon.

  59. Arkadi

    Evil: you’re doing it right.

  60. Kit

    Ohhhhh, no.

  61. CptNerd

    To borrow a quote from another favorite webcomic, “Set fingers to maximum steeplege…”

  62. Regalli

    I regret every time I have ever voted to see more of Mary.

    Assuming that was multiple.

    But, um. Hey. Good news, guys: The fandom can finally put aside all our disagreements over everything else and unite for a common cause here for a bit.

    That common cause being hope that Mary will go away soon, but still! Progress!
    … Speaking of which, is Blaine out of the area by now? *Is hit by the Brick of Instant Regret*

    1. timemonkey

      Maybe Mary will stay? Forever. And ever. And ever. And ever!

      1. Regalli

        … Thank you for that comforting image, Hexadecimal.

        (At least I think it’s Hex? I haven’t seen much of Reboot, admittedly.)

        1. Kelly

          That’s Hex, alright

    2. Adam Black

      I voted with you…
      Be careful what you wish for.

      I want her finally to get her deserved spotlight

      1. Cybersnark

        Why is the safety chain on that spotlight not secured? It’s just begging to fall on someone.

        Spotlights are expensive.

  63. Bleeters

    Watch your back, Mary. Ruth’s the resident assistant. She has a master key to all the rooms. Her getting rid of you would be a lot simpler than the other way around.

    1. takashid

      That would require ruth to know mary is a threat. Which, if Mary is smart, she wont until its too late

      1. Bleeters

        Mary being smart doesn’t seem like a thing.

        1. John

          She has a certain low cunning, and she uses it to position herself for the backstab.

  64. The Aussie Bloke

    If we can get Mary over to the 910CMX forums, i can feed her to the Lost and Found and we’ll never have to worry about her again…

    Failing that, the cure for that particular evil expression usually consists of a cricket bat upside the head.

  65. John

    I hope this ends the same way Billie and Mary’s acquaintance did in Roomies!.

    1. newllend

      So the blood fued continues even in a nother universe.

  66. Nonagon

    One thing I’ve noticed about long-running webcomics is that it becomes very easy to run out of villains. Characters develop, others drop off the map, and the main cast becomes so used to each other that they can realistically just talk all their problems out. Other forms of media (tv, etc) usually keep at least one low-threat villain around at all times as a constant source of conflict – they’re a part of the setting as much as a character – but in social webcomics especially, it’s pretty much inevitable that they’ll get their turn in the spotlight, and suddenly you don’t want them to fail any more. After that, it becomes harder to manufacture conflict. That’s not to say that villains are necessary for conflict, but when no one’s in the wrong it gets harder to root for anyone. Obviously Dumbing of Age hasn’t reached that point yet; the real mustache-twirlers have just gone into hiding, there’s plenty of character stuff unresolved, and there’s always flippin’ Mike. But I was starting to worry that this particular storyline had gotten itself pretty well bolted down. Thank the heavens I’d forgotten about Mary.

  67. shammers

    fuhuuuuuck no

    i really hope whatever she’s planning backfires and ruth whoops her ass real proper

    and then this is caught by security so ruth gets fired because, let’s face it, billy needs some serious invasive rehab

  68. Chengrel

    She knows too much. She must die. For the sake of the lesbian suicide pact.

    1. JessWitt

      Pacts do require blood sacrifices, don’t they?

  69. JessWitt

    Mary, Mary, so contrary.
    Why doth your evil grow?

    1. Bob

      possibly a relation to Mr Burns that or she wants to get back at Ruth. Personally i think she’s related to Mr Burns

    2. 3oranges

      “If evil weren’t nice, nobody’d bother with it.” -Mary

  70. Bob

    Well everything is about to explode, not literally of course but that would be cool

  71. takashid

    Honestly its Mary’s face in the second to last panel that disturbs me more then the last one. That is a stone cold glare

  72. Jacob Newburn

    Mary…? Mary?! MARY?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa8NREI_IPs

  73. Bagge

    “Finally, FINALLY, I have a way of preventing that crazy RA from abusing her power.”

  74. Jake

    aww, why’d you have to make Mary important? it might give her the chance to turn out to be a well-rounded and relatable character. and who wants that to happen?

  75. Romanticide

    GODDAMMIT!!!

  76. Rosicrucian

    Who wants to guess that Mary will try to pressure Joyce into being her reluctant, homophobic accomplice?

  77. Annabanana

    Worst part is, I look exactly like Mary.

  78. Lulu

    Maybe this whole deal will blow up and in the end it will make Mary realise she’s closeted lesbian/bi?
    I saw weirder things happening.

  79. bleueyesamurai

    MARY YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP

  80. CianM1301

    *thunder crackles*

  81. Bibulb

    Hypothesis : Mary will attempt to do SOMETHING to emotionally harm Billie. At which point Ruth will be in a position to make a deposit at the femur bank with some spares.

  82. Zaxares

    That is a total Sydney Yus smile on the last panel. … Wonder if they’re related?

    1. Volkai

      Mary is far more evil.

  83. Adam Black

    I voted for More Mary!!!
    O YES! Thank-you Willis.

    Heres the thing, She started as Willis vision of perfect woman, ( ne Roomies ) and as he grew, he rejected everything she stood for.

    But In DOA she has been merely a caricature, with Joyce representing any positive traits Willis originally might have seen in Mary.

    They are both solutions to the question : ‘What is a good christian girl?’

    But Mary is now the least believable and least sketched out character in the series. Yet she has the Most potential to grow. Willis has not even tapped her potential as two-faced, scheming, Nellie-Olsen, Passive-aggressive Villain-in-real Life.

    She could be deliciously bad, but she is going to have to be a more social and less overtly hateful at all times.

    Bring on the Mary,
    Bring on her Darkness ( as light ) to Dumbing Of Age.
    She may not be the Antagonist we want, but she is the Antagonist DOA needs

    All hail Queen Mary,

    1. Bagge

      I’m with you! All hail for fulfilled potential.

    2. Regalli

      Hell yes!

  84. kelticat

    For a Evangelical, Mary looks really demonic.

  85. Orangey

    I actually kind of like Mary. I don’t know how I can like a character that has no redeemable features, but then maybe thats the reason! She’s a pretty good character to like-hate hahaha

  86. zmm

    …Why is she making an evil face?

    It’s been well known billie has problems.. Ruth’s an RA…
    She hasn’t seen anything inapproriate.. just Ruth looking so billie can leave..
    Simply could be billie not wanting to talk to anyone right now.. not like they kissed goodbye

    1. No Name

      As so many people before have said, Mary is that kind of person.
      Also, she has a more personal reason for vengeance: Ruth slapped a male genitalius onto her cheek.

    2. John

      Mary saw something that could be made to look bad, involving two people she extra-particularly hates.

      That it’s actually bad is beside the point.

  87. Doc Harleen

    Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit…

  88. Aolbain

    So it’s now we kill Mary, right? That seams like the reasonable response to me.

    1. WeezerLuvr3030

      It seams like it, now that her story is about to unravel.

  89. Hikaru

    god damn it mary you dont get to be part of the story

  90. Volkai

    Oh god damn it.

    -OR-

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

  91. Crumplepunch

    Goddamnit Mary why are you so awful.

    It’s like you were bred for it in a lab.

    1. Leorale

      She was intelligently designed for it.

      1. timemonkey

        Accidently, which makes it really funny. Seriously, Mary’s creation is my favorite piece of Behind the Scenes knowledge.

  92. I.care.0

    Oh, no, there’s a woman exiting the RA room. I may be missing something, due to the fact that I don’t really know how this whole RA thing works, but isn’t conseiling part of a RA job?

    Ruth could just claim that Billie came earlier to talk to her, because she is the gal you go to when you need someone to talk, and since billie would corroborate, there isn’t a single thing Mary could accomplish. Am I missing something?

    1. Pinja

      Maybe now she knows it is happening she is going to get more evidence?

      1. I.care.0

        How does she even know anything is happening to begin with?

        Again, I have no idea how this RA thing works, but unless they have a private office (which I doubt), their room would be the correct place to discuss anything private, right? The only thing that can be infered by seeing Billie exiting Ruth’s room is that they talked about something that Billie wouldn’t be confortable talking in public. Hell, as far as Mary knows, Ruth hates Billie.

  93. LWS

    With knowledge comes great power…

  94. Tufto

    Oh. Oh no.

    Maybe…maybe she’ll redeem herself?

    Maybe?

    ….Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

  95. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

    The problem with loose cannons. They tend to ‘get lost’ deep into places where you lose sight of them….To lie in wait…And then, when you innocently wander into their hiding place…KABOOOM!!

  96. Pinja

    Gawsh Ruth, I guess you being such a shit RA is about to bite you in your freckled ass.

    Guess you shouldn’t have assulted Mary, huh?

    1. Pinja

      No, seriously, if I was Mary and someone attacked me like that and I got the chance to fuck them back like this I would.

      Is Ruth supposed to be like Batman and she gets some sort of vigilante violence exception due to dead parents?

      1. Kathleen

        I think the violence was so cartoony that people didn’t register it as abuse. “Hahaha femurs!” They think to themselves as she beats people up. And “hahaha dicks” when she slapped Mary. I’m surprised Mary didn’t report her right then but maybe her pride was hurt.

        1. Pinja

          Maybe she did. Ruth literally brags about how she can do anything but won’t be taken down by complaints.

      2. Marisa Mockery

        I forgot about that. Yeah, if Billie wasn’t so invested in Ruth at this point I’d be like, Good for you, Mary! But this looks bad. Billie is….getting there. A big drama bomb like Mary is going to mess things up….I think. 🙁

  97. DSL

    Willis almost certainly has What Will Happen all plotted and likely drawn already, so no danger here of me influencing him, so:
    Mary turns Ruth in … for Teh Gay Sex, not for inappropriate RA/student relations. This does, however, force the university to take notice of said RA/student relations. Ruth suffers, and Billie suffers.
    However, Mary also gets unwanted official attention for *what she chose to report* and is mandated to receive enhanced sensitivity training, sure;y Hell for her.

    1. DSL

      *surely

      1. WeezerLuvr3030

        Surely this Mary person has no evidence whatsoever of the sex. And, because students are adults, any complaint she makes has no standing. Who is being harmed, even if the sex was provable? I just don’t see that playing out. Unless Mary slid her iPhone under the door or used a sethoscope to record sounds through the door. After all, the whole point of undergrads living together is to form a community where they stay up all night talking to each other about god-knows-what (but chances are it is blushworthy).

        1. DSL

          Do the Marys of the world NEED evidence?

        2. WeezerLuvr3030

          I guess not, and if there is Mary working in the college admin then my point is mooted.

  98. hack

    http://youtu.be/QgmyVLheqkQ

    1. WeezerLuvr3030

      http://youtu.be/AXiswqKR0Rs

  99. Alexx

    Now that’s a classic Mr. Burns “Excellent” if I ever saw one.

  100. vmgx

    soooo… I’m never gonna get my Mary redemption, am I?

    1. vmgx

      WAIT! that wasn’t my gravatar! (apropriate though)

  101. Lonas

    Girl walks out of RA’s office and blushes,are there really people dumb enough to make conclu-Mary has a future in TMZ.

  102. Jessica

    Does Mary have friends? What does she do all day? Why is she the way she is? I certainly don’t like her, but I’m at least curious to see more of her.

  103. Mr. Morningstar

    DAMN YOOOU WILLIIIIIIS

  104. WeezerLuvr3030

    I don’t know who this Mary person is, but this thread suggests she has the potential to be the Phoney Bone who hands the dorm over to the Lord of the Locust.

    http://boneville.wikia.com/wiki/Phoney_Bone

    1. Leonou

      You stop this Phoney-Shaming right now !
      Phoney Bone is best Bone ! He was only doing what he thought was in his and his cousins best interests. Also he totally saved the Valley because of his wits.

      1. WeezerLuvr3030

        Put a dragon in your flagon!

  105. HAB

    I have a new favourite character.

  106. Cattleprod

    I know her eyes are the same shade of brown/hazel/whatever they usually are, but wearing that shade of red shirt makes them register as red to me, which nicely adds to the evil of her pose.

  107. acher4

    (sorry for this but…)
    Fuck you Mary, fuck you!
    Now go back into your sad little life and let the others live their sexy lesbian suicide pact.

  108. The Phantom's Belch

    She’s a witch. Burn her!

  109. Ikaru

    O_O Red eyes of evil, take warning!

  110. WikiDreamer

    Ok, I let it slide when everyone freaked out about previous characters in the past (i.e. Danny) but the sheer amount of hatred towards Mary is SO intense, I just HAVE to ask, Just WHAT exactly made Mary the despised bongo of bongodom in the Willis-verse? Direct linkage to her actions would be greatly appreciated.

  111. Hoboturtle

    Wait… what does she plan to do. It’s not like RAs can’t date other students and her small group of friends won’t care, except for maybe Joyce for a strip or two, but she’ll get over it quickly. What does she plan on doing with this information?

  112. Marisa Mockery

    It’s been said, but, yeah. I don’t remember any rule about my college RA beyond “if they’re yelling at you, ask why”. Even if this school DOES have a rule, without photographs it’s he-said-she-said, and two “wtf no”s are gonna be worth more than a “god says yes”. Unless she plans to blackmail or spread nasty rumors, I don’t see a threat.

  113. Emperor Kiva

    I hate Mary

  114. ShadowDJ

    …Uh, Mary? i wouldn’t try that…

    No offense, but from what I can tell, they were contemplating SUICIDE…

    1. Crumplepunch

      And also slap really hard.

      1. John

        Neither of them stop at slapping, either. Actually, I don’t think Billie even starts at slapping. Her first resort seems to be face-punching. Ruth, on the other hand, clotheslined Billie just for the lulz, yanked Dina out of an elevator and held her off the ground with one hand, and has thrown both Billie and Blaine over her head. And Mary witnessed all of these except the Blaine-throwing.

        Mary’s survival instinct could use some work is what I’m saying.

  115. potatoaddict

    Oh, so her name’s Mary?

    I forgot as I went under the brief rage-induced fantasy of shattering the 4th Wall &, in an act of god complex homicide, face-planting her SJW Moral Alarmist face into that hallway.

    Okay, *deep breath* I’m okay now.

  116. Liz

    Oh my god Mary. If you ever start thinking of a plan and find yourself touching the tips of your fingers together, you should probably take a step back and reconsider how evil this thing you are thinking about doing is..

  117. cj95

    Ummmm….so what?

    If I remember Dorm Life from college, people were walking in and out of each others rooms like all the time, especially the RA.

    She was in everybodies room, and everybody was in her room constantly…it was part of the job, and just for socializing purposes.

    What am I missing?

  118. Words

    I actually kind of like Mary. She’s like Mike only not a guy

    1. gwalla

      And with the hypocrisy turned up to 11.

      1. pyrophobia

        And that heart of gold’s become a heart of coal

    2. WikiDreamer

      *smack*
      NO! No, Mary is NOT Mike. I barely even know Mary’s history but I know damn well that this is NO Mike. Mike’s an asshole for the lulz and he doesn’t wait for the opportune moment to strike because if there isn’t one he MAKES one damn it!

      Mary, from what little I’ve been able to gather, is the self righteous type of twat who will go out of her way by all means for what SHE believes to be “God’s Will” and by “God’s Will” I mean the one that works with what she feels is the right way.

      *shudders*

      People like that make my skin crawl. Using God, religion and/or faith as a blanket excuse to claim they’re both justified for their actions and excused from any repercussions those actions may have. Makes me SICK! I could care less if she’s a former cutter, that’s no excuse.

    3. Henry

      Yeah, she is kind of like Mike.

      Except, y’know, female. And actually evil, instead of just an asshole.

      Both of them are awful to other people, but at least Mike doesn’t think he has the moral high ground. He just likes being an asshole. And maybe making people become better people through creative assholery (unconfirmed).

  119. RandomPerson12

    Mary’s about to f*ck something up, isn’t she?

    1. RandomPerson12

      Sh*t! I just realized what my avatar is

  120. OmegaDez

    EXCELLENT!

    Seriously though, who the hell is Mary? XD

  121. nothri

    Mary, you aren’t mr. burns. Stop trying to be.

  122. B.D

    And then Mary becomes a super-villain.

    But it turns out that Sierra’s other personality, “Mist” (her hair is over the left side of her face), is on the case!

    (It’s not Amazi-Girl because this requires a Holmesian touch, not Batman.)

    Two real-time months of cat-and-mouse later, SierraMist (unified personality) and Mike have gotten married, and Mary is a wreck. Or is in a wreck, one of the two.

  123. DarkoNeko

    ….Mary, you’re making it very hard to like you.

  124. Rheios

    A couple of comics back someone mentioned the use of force solving many problems. I feel like SHE is a perfect example of someone to target with all of it.

  125. Mally

    Damn you Willis!

  126. nibblrrr

    Willis fumbled around in the pockets of his worn-down overall. “Whoops”, he cackled, dropping a box of matches on the floor.

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