130

Smash

130 thoughts on “Smash

  1. shades of squish that cat

    1. it is *12:11* server clock!

      1. Look if this goes on long enough eventually it’s going to be correct again.

      2. The time delay between DoA world and real world is seeping out into the server! :O

      3. So it would seem.
        I wasn’t even trying to “catch the comic first”, just happened to be when I hopped on this evening. When I saw there were 0 comments, I panicked “Where Ana?!”, by the time I clicked the comment bubble and the page reloaded, here they were.
        If we can get Joe behind a hammered dulcimer, randomly… I feel it would break Joyce’s brain even more than usual (as of late).

      4. Not according to the timestamp on your post! The server is law. Your puny human chronographs mean nothing!

  2. mmmmmmmm burger ??

    1. Smash burgers work because more surface area undergoes the Maillard reaction.

      Squishing the patties flat before grilling them over charcoal works too.

      https://www.webtoons.com/en/tiptoon/cooking-comically/ep-102-the-smashed-burger-/viewer?title_no=622&episode_no=102

      1. There are two big differences between a flat patty and a smash burger. The edges of the smash burger is irregular, giving a more varied texture. The inner texture, especially along the edges, is less smushed than a flat patty.

      2. … So making burgers the normal way is the New Big Thing now?

        Oh well, at least I can show this to my brother and maybe he’ll stop ruining family cookout burgers by putting breadcrumbs and nonsense in them. (I mean, ideally he’d just let me run the grill, because I’m a lot better at it, but, y’know, big brothers.)

  3. Yeahhhh, smash that burger

    1. The burger named Joe.

  4. I love that Joe is engaging with her on her own terms like this. I adore it.

    1. It’s really cute.

  5. Mush those buns

    1. Mash those buns like you’re in Gregor Mendel’s yard and wait my metaphors are mixing like sequences of nucleotides.

  6. Joe continues to rack up the Boyfriend Points.

    1. he lost a lot early on but hes really on track to make it out of the negatives

  7. I always love when I can say I understand the silly reference Willis puts in the alt-text. :p

    1. Please elaborate

        1. Yeah I can barely read that one. Grammar teachers be cringing so hard XD

        2. Thank you so much. Reading it was like suffering from momentary aphasia and I’m glad to know what it was about!

        3. Yeah, um. I was concerned for a second this was how he was going to reveal to us he had a stroke at some point.

          Don’t look at me like that. DYW seems like exactly the kind of person who would reveal that kind of thing in the alt-text of his comic months later.

        4. Is it supposed to say “when you order, we smash that ball of beef on a hot-buttered grill to sear and you can taste delicious burger”? Coz other than the AND being on the wrong line I can work out how to read it like that (left column, right column, AND from bottom line, penultimate line, rest of bottom line) – but the grammar is still rubbish.

          Also yes, when you order a burger you would expect to be able to taste it after it’s been cooked… In what world does this need stating? ☹️ Some sort of world where when you order a burger you may NOT get to taste it?! I don’t think we live in that world…

        5. So I did some looking around, and apparently it was meant to say “When you order, we SMASH that fresh ball of beef on a hot-buttered grill to SEAR the burger and SEAL IN THE JUICINESS. Next, we season it to bring out the NATURAL FLAVOR,” the sign continued. “The result is a JUICY AND DELICIOUS burger you can taste in every bite.”

          Not only did they arrange it in a way that made it messy and way too easy to read in the wrong order, they also cut off words.

        6. I don’t know why but this made me cry laughing, thank you. I don’t usually read the alt text because it’s annoying on the phone but wow.

  8. This is so cute

  9. You know I think there be some double entendres going on here.

    1. there be euphemisms in dem dere hills

    2. What possible double entendre can come from squishing a piece of meat stuck between a pair of buns. Especially when the woman is telling the man that he’s doing it wrong.

      (BTW, just because he’s doing something different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You might actually like it.)

  10. Joyce being embarrassed, Joyce, this is one of those food things that people pay for. Today, you’re not weird, you’re diner chic avant-garde.

  11. Joe and joyce are perfect. Hes flirting with her in the exact modality she responds to. I hope they get in a good real kiss by the end of this arc. ?

  12. Stop defiling the mushed up cow corpses, Joe. Its creepy.

    1. no more creepy than it being a common topping to have it have ‘cheese’ as a topping, dairy on top of the cow meat, i wonder if cows were smarter/sentient if they’d see it as messed up

      1. I think the cows would be disturbed a few levels before that. “You drink what?! That’s for my babies! What did you do to my babies?!?!!”

      2. Paul Simon’s “mother and child reunion “ is about a place that served eggs with chicken. That’s messed up.

        1. I think that’s actually a dish in Japanese Cuisine? It’s called Oyakodon, literally “parent and child donburi”, containing chicken, egg and sliced scallion.

        2. oyakadon sounds nice. just try to stay away from that slang in the seedier places of hte internet because i think it’s also a p0rn category /shot

  13. Ensure your burger is wrapped securely before smashing.

  14. And much like Mr. Bubble Bass I made sure there are no pickles.

    1. You hide them under your tongue in order to scam free replacement burgers, triggering the cook’s existential crisis along the way?

  15. oh to be a humble burger

    1. A humburger, if you will.

      1. better than being a burble

        1. But worse than being a ro-bear berbil.

  16. Listen. Joe knows his way around buns.

    1. Bun type: horny on grain.

      1. Bravo.

        1. Could be worse, it’d be horny on pain if she was into that kinky French stuff.

        2. or how about horny on maize, our gluten-free alternative?

        3. corny as grain!

  17. Any second now, steam will come whistling out Joyce’s ears.

  18. I do this sadly

    1. why when you could be doing it with much gusto??

      1. Professional asexual

        This comment with this reply with those profile pictures is the reason I love the internet. I am sending a screenshot of this to my bff the next time she’s feeling down. Brava

  19. I’ve always liked seeing these two interact, but the instant they started dating it just got sooooo much better I love them both.

  20. Joyce about to BSOD.

    1. Hmm? Boogie Self On Down?

      1. Blue Screen of Death — the one thing you never want to see on a Windows computer, as it’s an indicator that the machine has glitched out and crashed ?

        1. Ah. Thank you!

  21. Clasping the buns together? It’s early days for that.

    Lunchtime is for CPR-like smashing.

  22. But Joe, Joyce wants to smash…

  23. Joyce should meet Roko. I bet they’d have a lot to talk about.

  24. I had a previous favorite relationship in the comic, but this is quickly replacing it.

  25. Man if you had told me back in the first strip that Joe would be in a healthy-ish relationship (it at least hasn’t gone off the rails yet in any case)

    I’d have no idea who that is because Joe wasn’t introduced ontil strip 7 and you’re not as familiar with the writers other comics

    No YOU went back and checked when Joe first appeared for the sake of a dumb joke

    1. Wanna it would probably take until strip 8 before Joe had gotten enough characterization for being in a healthy relationship to be surprising.

      … Joe works fast

  26. Joyce:

    “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything (ELSE!) in me.”

  27. “Neuroses that can be turned into fetishes??? Fascinating… Can one learn such a skill?…”

    1. Not from a Jedi

  28. …but the patty is wicked dry, and there’s no dairy.

    (…yes, I know he’s not religious, but I thought I might be silly.)

  29. Joe is ready, willing, and able, to smash.

    …Burgers.

  30. Wow, I really hope they get to be physically intimate without having to experience any shame. They’re very cute.

  31. Adorable! Look at that wholesome joy.

  32. They gonna smash

    their burgers.

  33. Lol flirting via burger XD

    also isn’t ‘smash burger’ a thing? or would they do it too much for joyce’s liking

    1. Smashed burgers usually refers to what they do to the patty itself before cooking to increase its surface area, it looks like what Joyce wants is to flatten the whole thing to sandwich size so she can put it in her mouth easier

      1. Iirc, Sarah once told Jacob Joyce does it because “it makes it taste more like McDonald’s”

      2. i like an egg on my burgers these days but i suppose a ‘smashed’ one would be helpful since ppl say ‘burgers should be wider not taller’

    2. I wonder, too. I thought Joyce wanted her food items not-touching, and smash-burger is very .. touching?

      1. If Joyce is anything like me (which is to say, *extremely* like me), then her burger does not have nearly the number of toppings as the average person’s.

        I still won’t allow any sauce (other than, finally, mustard), or any onions or pickles on my burger. Meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomato only, typically.

        1. I’m the same way. I don’t get burgers ‘cuz I don’t really like beef but I love me a nice chicken sandwich and I rarely get anything more than mayo on it.

        2. @sarah: i pretty much just eat plain burgers. sometimes ketchup. I went to a place that offers eggs, which is nice. tho american cheese/cheddar is a bit strong for me so i just have pepper jack/swiss , tho i do like pizza but otherwise sometimes melted cheese on some meats can be too ‘strong’ for me (nothing wrong with a good breakfast sandwich tho)

    3. From what I understand a smash burger’s patty is a ball of hamburger meat smashed on the hot grill. It makes the edges irregular which greatly improves the texture.

  34. Awh I love these two horny imaginary dolts.

  35. Joe, if you keep this up, I believe Joyce is going to get the temptation to go do some more laundry.

    1. The horny level will be far too high for a mere dryer to suffice, Joyce will have to borrow other Jacob.

  36. Today’s comic is somehow way more sexual than anything we saw happen between Asher & Ethan. Willis got us fooled again!

  37. I’m sure people have seen that video of Gordon Ramsey making a cheeseburger where he literally bathes each individual piece in butter and blowtorches a block of cheese and gushes sauces in between each layer? These has to be a joke about smashing her burger until every possible burger-syrup erupts from it here somewhere.

  38. He’s doing it wrong, eh Joyce? Are you saying he’s a bad boy?

  39. Joe: …and that’s when I smashed her buns.

    Danny: Joe, I’ve heard this a hundred-

    Joe: NOT LIKE THAT!

    1. Joe: She wanted her burger flat, I was happy to help

      Danny: I…What?

      Joe: I flattened it good and even, she didn’t want me to stop.

      Danny:Joe, what did you do to her?

      Joe: Some ketchup came out, but she didn’t seem to mind.

      Danny:WTF DID YOU DO!?

  40. He’s enjoying this entirely too much.

  41. Smashed burgers are easier to eat, but taller ones have more points in grandiosity. It looks more professional, gourmet, than a common Mc Donald one.

  42. Dare I ask how she takes her hot dogs?

    Or is that fodder for a SlipShine?

  43. “You’re doing in wrong… B-but go on.”

    In the fight between OCD And UST, the latter wins out.

    1. But when the tension is relieved and the subsequent afterglow disappears, there’s plenty of new material for the OCD to feed on:

      “But what if there was a tiny hole in the condom and my pills won’t work?”
      “But what if Jesus really exists and he saw what we did?”

      1. If Jesus is watching you fuck, that’s a lot of pressure to perform.

        1. “Forget Jesus, what about the government?”

  44. Yay back to Joyce and Joe!?

  45. I like smashed buns and I cannot lie
    My ARFID siblings can’t deny
    When a burger plates with a juicy beefy pat and the bun is super flat I get sprung

  46. GOD i love them so much. my heart is gonna shatter when they inevitably break up.

    …… unless <.<

  47. Positively squirted my smoothie at Joe describing himself as a “full service boyfriend” ??

    1. Yeah I’m curious when he’s going to change her oil…

  48. I’m here late, but I’m just– Joyce really is the Dom in this relationship, and she doesn’t even notice yet, isn’t it. Like, come on gurl.

    Your man has just described himself as a service top. Please take him.

  49. All the Joe/Joyce stuff is almost making me forget about all the other stuff. Love these two losers (affectionate)

  50. Joe, the effort is noble and the flirting is cute, but when somebody asks for their food *just give them their food*.

  51. {Patrick voice} FIRMLY GRASP IT {/voice}

  52. Just in case anyone else is dealing with work anxiety the way I am right now, I’ll play some calming Lo-Fi on the hacked PA system.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKVBZpJgY0A

    1. Thank you, i needed this!

      Now to export the dino platformer game level rough drafts FINALLY ☺️

  53. Just fck. For all our sakes

  54. LOVING panel 1

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