well, i can imagine some acquaintances roasting him for ‘attempting’ to have stubble. or like walky being like “i can’t grow a beard like (celeb)” (don’t remember the strip/name) Tho apparently ‘skin shaving’ is a thing too lol
“Oh no, the art style does not perfectly simulate an amount of relatively-light-colored stubble that is more than none but less than imminently threatening to become a full beard. I shall therefore mock this character for handling his personal grooming daily instead of waiting for it to be more visually identifiable to me personally.” – This is y’all, this is how you sound.
From what I know from people who work in restaurants, you could not possibly be more wrong. Also, being personally familiar with the benefit package of “nightclub bartender”, I have every reason to believe they’re not lying.
Been a long time since I was a waiter, but, yeah, in my 2 years there, most of the single waitstaff (all genders, too) hit on me. I attribute it to not so much my charismatic personality but rather our collective youth, stress, horniness, and boredom.
Adept
The thought does occur that being young and hot is a little wasted on the young and hot. This may just be middle aged nostalgia talking, of course.
Michael Steamweed
No, you’re definitely on the right idea. I’ve had that thought, too. I think we both agree with George Bernard Shaw.
He’s still learning to be emotionally vulnerable and I think the sheer degree of SOFTNESS Joyce makes him feel makes him _shy_ about it. He’ll get there, though.
Right now, Joe really REALLY longs for a world where he is seen as something other than the dorm’s Resident Horndog. It’s a longing that’s been getting stronger and stronger since, oh, the beginning of the new semester, I think? His sudden epiphany of “I want to be a chef” gave him a brief, tantalizing glimpse of that world! And that’s why he’s very VERY uncomfortable with Danny’s (extremely based) assumption that Joe only wants to be a chef because he associates cooking with sex now.
There was a period where I couldn’t stand Kraft Dinner. They changed the recipe, and made it gross. Now, they’ve course-corrected a bit in the other direction, so it’s edible again. However, it’s still the bottom of the barrel for boxed mac’n’cheese offerings. My preference is President’s Choice Mac’n’Cheese. Much better tasting, noodles are actual elbows instead of those straight tubes that Kraft uses, and the noodles actually retain their consistency, instead of breaking apart into little pasta strips like Kraft Dinner does.
… when it comes to guys (ha, pun), what is even the point of a handy? Like, you’re already touching it – might as well go for the blowjob and get the parts lubbed.
Like, I get fingering for people with women parts – we provide our own lube, and it allows for finer control of stimulation, but with guys? Just doesn’t seem worth the effort.
I mean I get it in Joyce’s case – the “nervous handy” cause it’s her first attempt, but just in general, it seems like more work for less fun.
BJ’s are higher risk for STI’s, giving a BJ is a form of penetration which can more physically and emotionally involved, and HJ’s allow for continued simultaneous makeouts. HJ’s are also easier to conceal, depending on where you’re doing the deed.
I mean, those are all very good reasons why someone would choose a hand job, but only one of them is really about it being more appealing/enjoyable, which was the crux of my question. (looking back, I perhaps did not make that as clear as I should have in my original post, so fair)
And yeah, mutual fingering while making out is near the top of my favorite lesbian positions, so that one absolutely makes sense to me. Just didn’t realize the guy would get much out of that, but it seems so.
This is the kind of question that someone without a dong would ask. Hand on penith feel good, feel more good if hand soft. Hands also have more immediately-adjustable grip levels than a bagina, so the lube isn’t necessarily needed (although it can be a nice bonus).
Rose by Any other Name
“This is the kind of question that someone without a dong would ask.”
I mean, fair.
Joe is an 18-year old man. Very likely, he is capable of dry-masturbating to orgasm within 2-5 minutes. (Lubrication would be quicker.) And with Joyce (an 18-year old woman, to whom Joe is very attracted), very likely, she is capable of dry-masturbating him to orgasm within 2-5 minutes. Also likely, Joyce’s hands are softer than Joe’s hands are.
Given Joyce’s food issues, I suspect she might have serious issues with the taste, smell and maybe even texture of a penis, at least until she gets used to it.
I’m really surprised, seeing as it was Joyce’s first try at anatomy different from her own, and she’s been too much of a fundie to even explore her own! I have to assume she’s enthusiastic but very bad at this.
Then again, Joe is very into her, so that may have made all the diffrence. I wouldn’t expect Joe to climax from such though, not with his experience with sex.
Dday
Welllllll the way he described it at the time went pretty dark, but long story short, the shielded naivete you are describing is precisely what initially got Joe sexually excited about her.
Joe’s bringing a healthier (less predatory) attitude about it now, but I speculate that the fact that this was a special new experience for Joyce was probably in and of itself a turn-on for Joe.
I feel like “do you like cooking or just getting off” is a pretty fair point from danny here
not sure joe is going to hit mechanical genius in this universe, although maybe once he finds out joyce likes maths that’ll lead him to try advanced classes or something
162 thoughts on “Culinary arts”
Radiance
What is he even shaving though
Amós Batista
When the hair is starting growing, that’s the worst phase: your face feels like sandpaper
anon
well, i can imagine some acquaintances roasting him for ‘attempting’ to have stubble. or like walky being like “i can’t grow a beard like (celeb)” (don’t remember the strip/name) Tho apparently ‘skin shaving’ is a thing too lol
Regret
I think it is a reference to the line (at around 1:50) in Predator: The Musical.
https://youtu.be/qlicWUDf5MM?si=F5oD_WUiU3dvHuCt
Needfuldoer
His face.
Tan
“Oh no, the art style does not perfectly simulate an amount of relatively-light-colored stubble that is more than none but less than imminently threatening to become a full beard. I shall therefore mock this character for handling his personal grooming daily instead of waiting for it to be more visually identifiable to me personally.” – This is y’all, this is how you sound.
yak
It’s a silly joke in the comments section of a webcomic.
Ana Chronistic
also, in yesterday’s alt-text
Radiance
It sounds exhausting to read people’s words that way. Hope you’re feeling better today.
Graham
You just keep asking questions you don’t want the answers to.
Ana Chronistic
a *lightbulb*? was it painful?
…wait no
Michael Steamweed
“Lightbulb”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Oh, wait, so _that’s_ what “lit” means. Now I get it! 😀
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Joe, that is not usually part of the benefit package for chefs…
VicMortimer
From what I know from people who work in restaurants, you could not possibly be more wrong. Also, being personally familiar with the benefit package of “nightclub bartender”, I have every reason to believe they’re not lying.
Liara
Where do yall work? The only people getting action in our kitchen was one of the shift leaders and his gf (who also worked there)
Lysbeth
I’m also asking, for uuuuh health & safety reasons
Michael Steamweed
Been a long time since I was a waiter, but, yeah, in my 2 years there, most of the single waitstaff (all genders, too) hit on me. I attribute it to not so much my charismatic personality but rather our collective youth, stress, horniness, and boredom.
Adept
The thought does occur that being young and hot is a little wasted on the young and hot. This may just be middle aged nostalgia talking, of course.
Michael Steamweed
No, you’re definitely on the right idea. I’ve had that thought, too. I think we both agree with George Bernard Shaw.
Darkseide
for the love of god, someone date Daisy
Opus the Poet
The problem is Daisy’s dating preferences are similar to Joe’s, especially as far as gender is concerned.
mindbleach
XX, XXX.
Darkseide
well yes, but in re-reading the comic it was an alt-text and Daisy just returned in the storylines..
Needfuldoer
I liked her date with Ruth, that was a relatable level of awkward.
Amós Batista
Joyce’s already with Joe
MordWa
I cooked mac’n’cheese last weekend.
I did not get rewarded as Joe did.
🙁
mindbleach
put
mindbleach
put y
AbacusWizard
paige no
Dday
perfect av
Dara
Yeah but did you make your own sauce?
BY WHICH I MEAN
anon
good mac and cheese should be its own reward 8D;
MordWa
You and I have very different reward/ incentive structures…
Needfuldoer
Did you follow the instructions on the box, to the letter? That’s key.
Michael Steamweed
As Needfuldoer asked. Did you cook per the instructions? I bet you did not. Thus, no such reward.
Dday
You didn’t put enough butter, CLASSIC mistake. I made it last night and the hand just emerged from the pot like always.
Nono
I’m not sure why Joe is being skittish about this, Danny knows he’s dating Joyce.
Dante
He’s still learning to be emotionally vulnerable and I think the sheer degree of SOFTNESS Joyce makes him feel makes him _shy_ about it. He’ll get there, though.
Mturtle7
Right now, Joe really REALLY longs for a world where he is seen as something other than the dorm’s Resident Horndog. It’s a longing that’s been getting stronger and stronger since, oh, the beginning of the new semester, I think? His sudden epiphany of “I want to be a chef” gave him a brief, tantalizing glimpse of that world! And that’s why he’s very VERY uncomfortable with Danny’s (extremely based) assumption that Joe only wants to be a chef because he associates cooking with sex now.
Jon
Say, is Galasso hiring intern chefs? Joe could get some practical experience before even graduating!
Adept
And to see if it’s rewarding when it’s a job rather than a date with his crush.
Deanatay
He might think Joe’s cheating on her.
DailyBrad
I mean, if I got a handjob for making Kraft macaroni, I’d probably do that more often, too.
Rabid Rabbit
I genuinely considered the question, and came to the conclusion that no, no, even a handjob couldn’t convince me to have anything to do with that.
I assume this comment will now be deleted by Willis on the grounds of heresy.
Michael Steamweed
No, no, it’s fine! Please tell us more about your utterly wrong viewpoint! 😀
Alan Lafond
There was a period where I couldn’t stand Kraft Dinner. They changed the recipe, and made it gross. Now, they’ve course-corrected a bit in the other direction, so it’s edible again. However, it’s still the bottom of the barrel for boxed mac’n’cheese offerings. My preference is President’s Choice Mac’n’Cheese. Much better tasting, noodles are actual elbows instead of those straight tubes that Kraft uses, and the noodles actually retain their consistency, instead of breaking apart into little pasta strips like Kraft Dinner does.
Opus the Poet
Getting that oxytocin fix over mac and cheese
Michael Steamweed
Kraft Oxytocin
(per the instructions)
Sirksome
Joyce is good at handjobs and Danny knows this. These are just facts that have now been established.
Rose by Any other Name
… when it comes to guys (ha, pun), what is even the point of a handy? Like, you’re already touching it – might as well go for the blowjob and get the parts lubbed.
Like, I get fingering for people with women parts – we provide our own lube, and it allows for finer control of stimulation, but with guys? Just doesn’t seem worth the effort.
I mean I get it in Joyce’s case – the “nervous handy” cause it’s her first attempt, but just in general, it seems like more work for less fun.
The Blueprint System
BJ’s are higher risk for STI’s, giving a BJ is a form of penetration which can more physically and emotionally involved, and HJ’s allow for continued simultaneous makeouts. HJ’s are also easier to conceal, depending on where you’re doing the deed.
KM
https://youtu.be/qPxSU7zDmOE?si=vOacyRsBtm29KqIA this came to mind…
Rose by Any other Name
I mean, those are all very good reasons why someone would choose a hand job, but only one of them is really about it being more appealing/enjoyable, which was the crux of my question. (looking back, I perhaps did not make that as clear as I should have in my original post, so fair)
And yeah, mutual fingering while making out is near the top of my favorite lesbian positions, so that one absolutely makes sense to me. Just didn’t realize the guy would get much out of that, but it seems so.
Yondrose
If you’re uncircumcised, you don’t need much lube. A horny 18 year old will make enough lube also.
Julez
I am fairly certain Joe would be circumcised.
VicMortimer
I know, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqG0rc7vZX4
Dday
Context matters, the fact that even so much as touching a dinglydongd is novel and special for her greatly increases the excitement factor.
TheStranger
Lubrication makes it feel better, but at least from my perspective, as a penis-having individual, the necessity of lubricant depends on the goal.
Lubricant is an accelerant for orgasm; if the hand is soft/gentle enough, and orgasm isn’t the goal, a dry handjob still feels quite nice.
Plus all the stuff the other people said.
Rabid Rabbit
Because you’re a decent person and if the lady doesn’t feel like putting your bits in her mouth, you’re not going to demand that she does?
Rose by Any other Name
Maybe you missed the pronoun implication, but hi – I’m “the lady” in the scenario.
Lysbeth
Well, it’s not a race to doing more stuff or finishing faster. Hands are great.
Taffy
This is the kind of question that someone without a dong would ask. Hand on penith feel good, feel more good if hand soft. Hands also have more immediately-adjustable grip levels than a bagina, so the lube isn’t necessarily needed (although it can be a nice bonus).
Rose by Any other Name
“This is the kind of question that someone without a dong would ask.”
I mean, fair.
Michael Steamweed
Joe is an 18-year old man. Very likely, he is capable of dry-masturbating to orgasm within 2-5 minutes. (Lubrication would be quicker.) And with Joyce (an 18-year old woman, to whom Joe is very attracted), very likely, she is capable of dry-masturbating him to orgasm within 2-5 minutes. Also likely, Joyce’s hands are softer than Joe’s hands are.
Wirlwitch
Given Joyce’s food issues, I suspect she might have serious issues with the taste, smell and maybe even texture of a penis, at least until she gets used to it.
Alongcameaspider
Shes so good at hand jobs it made Joe evaluate what he wants to do with his life
Sajuuk-Khar
When Joe first gets head from Joyce he boutta have an out of body experience
Adept
I’m really surprised, seeing as it was Joyce’s first try at anatomy different from her own, and she’s been too much of a fundie to even explore her own! I have to assume she’s enthusiastic but very bad at this.
Then again, Joe is very into her, so that may have made all the diffrence. I wouldn’t expect Joe to climax from such though, not with his experience with sex.
Dday
Welllllll the way he described it at the time went pretty dark, but long story short, the shielded naivete you are describing is precisely what initially got Joe sexually excited about her.
Joe’s bringing a healthier (less predatory) attitude about it now, but I speculate that the fact that this was a special new experience for Joyce was probably in and of itself a turn-on for Joe.
Yeet
I feel like “do you like cooking or just getting off” is a pretty fair point from danny here
not sure joe is going to hit mechanical genius in this universe, although maybe once he finds out joyce likes maths that’ll lead him to try advanced classes or something
Dante