226

Whole-ass
Posted on July 5, 2021 by David M Willis

226 thoughts on “Whole-ass”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    /has bought bouquets, can confirm

    1. Ana Chronistic

      “aren’t you a girl, or present as one”

      1. shut up sexist
      2. I had to do sympathy bouquet orders for work

      1. Leorale

        Whatever; I present as a girl, and I got flowers for a boy, and nobody ever had before, and he loved it, it was the best.

        1. ian livs

          Flowers might be stereotypical boy–>girl gifts, but being given flowers as a guy sounds really neat, honestly ^_^

        2. H3xx

          As a guy with anxiety, I wouldn’t be able to move past the fact that I’ve been given responsibility for living organisms that are now dying thanks to my neglect. Inanimate gifts are much preferable, and you can’t go wrong with books.

        3. Zach

          You can relax knowing that they are severed genitalia, and will soon wilt whatever you do!

        4. Reltzik

          When a girl presents me with a gift of severed genitalia, relaxing is the last thing I’m going to do.

        5. StClair

          which makes the bouquet of dildos, per subthread below, even more appropriate!

        6. Deanatay

          “greetings prospective mate”

          “greetings”

          “i present this gift of severed plant genitals as an unspoken indicator of my intent”

          “fragrant”

          “please allow me to dominate you until coitus can be achieved”

          “i am amenable”

        7. Jon Rich

          Another being who speaks Pylian! My bloodpump swells!

        8. Mancuso

          Oooooh, so that’s why my – never mind, thinking out loud here.

        9. Andy

          I did theatre in high school and started doing community theatre a couple years ago. My sister brought me flowers for the last play we did, and it was so cool because it was the first time I’d been given flowers. Can confirm, guy receiving flowers is really neat.

        10. Reltzik

          Depends on the guy, just as girl receiving flowers depends on the girl. For myself, allergies, odor irritants, and not-having-anywhere-to-put-them means no flowers for me.

          I would, however, be quite happy to get chocolates.

        11. Moonie

          As a girl I once gave a guy a flower and he told me it was a nice color but he didn’t know what to do with it

        12. Achallenger

          In highschool a girl gave me a single fake flower and I still had it until two years ago? I graduated in ’06. We never dated but I definitely loved her for it. I am a dude and I don’t think she was into me but it made my year

        13. Keulen

          I’m a guy and I’ve never been given flowers by a girl so far, but I probably wouldn’t mind if a girl did give me some as a gift. Though I’d probably end up killing them since I’m terrible at keeping plants alive.

        14. RowenMorland

          Flowers always have the biggest impact on people who never get them and don’t expect to, romantic gestures, cheering up a friend, or an overlooked employee who has been doing extra stuff.

      2. Yotomoe

        I’ve only bought Bouquets for my mom. It probably says a lot about me being single but I guess I just don’t think of buying girls flowers. Seems cliche and i dunno. I’d rather give people stuff they can use like food and games and junk.

        1. Doctor_Who

          I once, in a moment of sheer romantic awkwardness, randomly gifted a girl I was dating a copy of Borderlands 2.

          (checks Steam profile [we’re still friends])…360 hours played! I’d like to see someone get that much use out of some dead flowers, ha!

        2. anon

          I like the aesthetic of flowers but not the smell, so a scented candle would be better imo lol. Or maybe a plant you can keep taking care of like a cactus/succulent

      3. Carla's #2 Fan

        No worries! Anyone can appreciate flowers for any reason! Though I’m personally in the fake-flower or potted plant camp cause then I can keep them.

      4. SylntSyco

        I’m a CISHET married man, and it brightens my day like no one’s business when my wife catches me off guard with flowers.

        But what you want to show your appreciation to whom you want to in whatever manner your deem fitting! <3

        1. SylntSyco

          Buy, not But*

          Stupid Swype text…. T.T

      5. Yumi

        I’m non-binary and love giving people of all genders flowers, whether those people are friends or acquaintances. One thing I used to hope for in a future partner was a love of receiving flowers, because I was definitely going to give them.

    2. Demoted Oblivious

      There was a cool youtuber who did a video of him going around giving guys flowers. It was quite adorable.

    3. Rose by Any Other Name

      Huh?
      I the last several bouquets I bought ranged from $8 – $15. If one can get a bike for that amount, it’s news to me.

      I mean, the grocery store florist also had $25ers, but we pick up a bouquet every week or two for home décor, so we aim for the lower end. The only ones more expensive than that came in pots (ie, were alive not cut, and required dirt and containers and such).

      1. Needfuldoer

        I bought an old mountain bike from a thrift store for $20 a couple years ago. It needed twice that again in parts to be rideable, but “beater project” was half the point.

      2. Rectilinear Propagation

        This probably varies a lot based one where you live and where you buy flowers from. I’ve never seen a bouquet for $15 but then the last time I was in an actual florist shop, I was planning a wedding.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Oof, you said the magic W word. I’m sure that increased the prices tenfold.

        2. Hinoron

          Closer to double, but yeah, the so-called “Wedding tax” is a very real thing. Every service from the flowers to the hall rental to the cake bakery doubles their prices for a wedding, vs the same price they’d charge a birthday party of the same size.

        3. Demoted Oblivious

          Back when I was making mistakes like getting married, I did the preparations with the maid of honour (my not-yet-eventual-ex was deployed). I found us a great venue for only 200$. With catering and all we managed a reasonably big family and friends for just under 8k$ (excluding rings). The bride was extatic and the whole day was a blast. I’d totally have a wedding again, but will never again get married.

        4. Rose by Any Other Name

          The trick is not to tell anyone that it’s a wedding.
          We went to a grocery store and had them do the cakes. Since we wanted normal cakes, we got normal bakery prices.
          We went with silk flowers (we still have them) and again didn’t mention a wedding so were able to buy them at normal prices.
          We got the invitations and most of the décor from JoAnne Fabrics.

          Venues, of course, need to be told. However, we went with our former college (undergrad) for our venue. They had this really nice deal where both the chapel and reception hall were free if you used the in-house catering. Paying for dinner got us the space for free.

          We had an elegant wedding with everything we wanted for around $5,000.

  2. Sirksome

    Have you checked the price of bouquets on valentine’s day? Cause that bike definitely was cheaper.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Right? And if roses are involved in ANY capacity, increase the price by at least 50%

      1. Vegetalss4

        I must admit I haven’t checked on valentines day, but with a quick googling the most expensive bouquet I could easily find , only *barely* got a dollar or two more expensive than the very cheapest low-quality grocery-store you’ll have to assemble it yourself new bike I could find.

        The bouquet was the red roses, at the biggest “standard size” the store had as an option, I’m sure that if I had called there and asked them to make one with even more roses than that they’d be willing to make me an arbitrarily expensive bouquet restricted only by questions over when exactly it’d stop being a bouquet and start being a pile instead.
        similarly if the bike can be used I’m a cheaper one could be found down to “it’s free but you’re going to have to pick it out of a river yourself”.

        On the whole though bikes a significantly more expensive than bouquets.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          Unlike a bouquet of anything but artificial flowers, bikes can be bought used and at a significant discount. And the bike is still real.

  3. Doctor_Who

    Dude’s not wrong. Conventional romantic gestures don’t come cheap.

    Our generation really needs to normalize practical gift-giving as courtship. What could be more romantic than a bouquet of socks?

    1. NotThatDrew

      A bouquet of assorted dildos?

      1. Wagstaff

        Wonder if that’s still cheaper than a regular bouquet…

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Affirmative. If ya shop smart and use them discount codes, you might be surprised how affordable that stuff is.

      2. Doctor_Who

        You could include scented lubricants, and it would smell like a real bouquet too!

      3. Delicious Taffy

        You may jest, but me and Ms. Taffy just made a similar sort of purchase and the romance factor sure was high. Cheaper’n a bike, too.

      4. Mr. Random

        “Go fuck yourself.
        And may I watch?”

      5. Wagstaff

        Seriously though, just imagining what a dildo-bouquet would look like, I immediately thought of this.

        1. Stanistani

          Thank you, my suggested videos are now all weird.

        2. Wagstaff

          Sorry. It’s just that a bouquet of dildoes would kind of look like a cow’s utters, with them bunched up together and such.

    2. Yotomoe

      o3o I’ve always thought that I’d rather have a wedding watch than a wedding ring. Then it’s a symbol of our marriage AND it tells time.

      1. Miri

        My parents met on my dad’s gap year, then went long distance. He spent almost all his savings on a plane ticket for her to come over for a few weeks to meet his family (I think after his first year at uni). While she was over, her watch broke. So he got her a new one, and proposed, and she was going to call it her engagement watch.

        Then my uncle (his big bro) got wind of this, and insisted on loaning him the money to get her a proper ring.

        She’s changed watch many times since then but only changed her engagement ring once (we were at a playdate when I was a toddler/preschooler. She’d lost weight so her ring was loose and fell off. The my-aged little girl found it and hid it somewhere – either a drawer or a dolls house – and Mum replaced it with one that fit better before her mother found it. So now she also has the original in a drawer).

        1. Needfuldoer

          I’m glad she got the original ring back. It sucks to lose important stuff with no closure.

        2. Yotomoe

          I have never found my old copy of Pokemon Black 2. And I know what you’re thinking. “It’s just pokemon it’s not important”. But it was my favorite game, it had one of my favorite teams and I had limited edition legendarys on it. And ever since i’ve lost it I’ve had dreams of finding it. I want it back so much. It HAUNTS me.Thinking about it now almost makes me wanna cry.

        3. Moonie

          It Haunters you?

          …I’m so sorry in advance

        4. temperaryobsessor

          Are you sorry in color?

      2. Deanatay

        My spouse and I exchanged laptops when we married. Neither of us likes rings very much.

    3. drs

      If the socks have a bouquet, please wash them first.

    4. Lumino

      Frankly, I’ve always liked violets. But then again, I also hate diamonds. Bland and boring, give me some color.

      1. Yotomoe

        You can get colored Diamonds I believe. Also if you shine light through them you get all the colors! PRISM POWER!

      2. Geneseepaws

        Diamonds come in a rainbow of colors; from black and brown to sherry, cognac, pink, blue, glow in black-light, champagne yellow, canary yellow, green, and parrot green. There are five known red diamonds. Yeah, they can be spendy, but they don’t have to be big, and they don’t have to be clearly boring.

        1. Leorale

          It doesn’t have to be a “real” diamond. You can choose a more beautiful sparkly-rock from a lab, with no history of bloodshed, at a hundredth of the price. You can use another kind of tough rock (sapphires are popular), or no rock at all, or bits of dinosaur poop and asteroids inset into metal. Do what you like, you’re a highly-evolved monkey on a lovely blue planet in SPACE, you’re free.

        2. temperaryobsessor

          Just if you get Rose Quartz make sure its real Quartz.

        3. BBCC

          There are so many pretty gemstones! I like diamonds (birthstone) but there’s so many that are just as pretty and I wish it was more common to use them for wedding rings (provided it’s a gem that can stand the wear and tear).

    5. Bicycle Bill

      There’s a thing called “Pantie of the Month” club….

  4. RassilonTDavros

    The ship that sank 24 years ago rises from the depths at last

    1. Doctor_Who

      Iä! Iä! SalDan fhtagn!

      1. King Daniel

        Ph’nglui mglw’nafh SalDan Bloom’ngton wgah’nagl fhtagn

    2. TomHCinMI

      (1). Twenty-four years ago? Surely at most fourteen!
      (2). Is it time yet to start shipping Danny and Sal? ‘Cause I kinda want to!

      1. Regalli

        Join the cult club. We have hats and everything!

    3. Needfuldoer

      It has risen indeed!

      1. Yotomoe

        Oh no,The Titanic!. It’s back to finish the Job.

  5. Rognik

    The bike lasts longer, too.

    1. JessWitt

      And is obviously more useful for Sal.

      1. JessWitt

        No offense to flowers. They do brighten up a room and some are edible, but Sal isn’t looking for home decor or salad ingredients.

        1. Tawnee

          Bikes are also edible if you are Monsieur Mangetout.

  6. Thag Simmons

    Flowers are free if you know where to look.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Outside?

      1. Some1

        I mean, unless the girl is cool with just daisies or you’re willing to commit a few crimes, it might be difficult to find any flowers of worth.

        1. ian livs

          All flowers are flowers of worth if the person is reasonable enough. But then, I just kinda think wildflowers are neat, so

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          If a dandelion is good enough for the first lady, it’s good enough for me. And if your S.O. wants to pitch a tantrum because your gesture wasn’t good enough, it’s time to eject that waste.

        3. Leorale

          My dad, when he was very little, remembers that his mom got some store-bought flowers to put in a vase, probably guests were coming over or something. He must’ve thought that was pretty neat, so he went into the yard and found her a handful of dandelions. She immediately swept the pretty store-bought bouquet out of the way, to make room for his lovely dandelions in the vase.
          Priorities always on point.

        4. Demoted Oblivious

          Epic mom-win. Where do these mothers come from? Because I sure don’t meet them.

        5. SystemofEleven

          I mean during a roleplaying game with my girlfriend, my character picked a bunch of dandelions for her character, and I swear the game got derailed for fifteen minutes while the entire table collectively exploded from the cuteness. “Worth” is a pretty dumb concept when getting someone a gift of colorful plant matter 😛

        6. ian livs

          That’s precious and I love it

        7. Reltzik

          Well, something like ten minutes googling where flowers grow and an hour driving will get you some free nice flowers picked from the roadside out in the country. It’s not hard figuring out where wildflowers grow.

          …. er, wait, I just tried this and by minute 1 I’d been sidetracked down about half an hour trying to figure out whether picking wildflowers was legal or not.

        8. Needfuldoer

          Depends on the species and location. I know a couple places in my area that have somewhat uncommon flowers growing in them, and picking or attempting to transplant them is highly discouraged. (They’re hardy, but slow growing and require very specific conditions to germinate and thrive, so they’re protected.)

          By contrast, nobody’s going to care if you pick the wildflowers growing next to the interstate; they’re just going to get mowed anyway.

        9. zee

          Not so practical if your SO likes flowers but has hay fever. Or you have hay fever. Id love to get flowers from my boyfriend but just the thought of wild flowers in summer is making me want to sneeze

        10. Bogeywoman

          My girlfriend’s boyfriend (who is financially well off) buys her bouquets of red roses on special occasions but I (the brokeass n uni student) bring her chains of wild flowers that I can name and explain the folklore of.
          Can confirm she loves both displays of affection (and us) equally.

          ((And exsqueeze me, but there are over 25,000 species of daisy and “just daisy” is not on of them))

        11. Chris

          This one’s a yellow composite, and this one’s a different yellow composite…

      2. Thag Simmons

        That’s a good place to start.

      3. I am Nothing

        Weddings?

        …Funerals?

    2. NotThatDrew

      So are bikes, depending on your sense of morality

      1. Bicycle Bill

        As Ben Franklin once wrote, “God helps those who help themselves.”
        Then my dad added, “And God help those who I catch helping themselves.”

        1. Rectilinear Propagation

          That needs to be in a movie.

  7. Nono

    Huh, for some reason I expected Danny to go more of a ‘wow I’m bi now, time to go sample the dude flowers’ phase for a bit longer.

    1. Yotomoe

      He can do two things. And he’s already kinda hit it off with Sal so he definitely wants to pursue her. (that and he really fucked the Ethan route)

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        I thought that things broke down before he really fucked Ethan’s route? I also picture Danny as more of a bottom than Ethan.

        1. Regalli

          Ethan realizing/accepting to himself he could have casual sex (because he had a longstanding crush on Mike but recognized Mike was Not To Be Trusted with the kind of vulnerability or intimacy in an actual romantic relationship which casual sex kind of sidestepped, and also so he could get some kind of sexual and romantic intimacy without having to tell his awful homophobic mom he had a boyfriend – which, by the way, is a plot point I REALLY hope comes back later, I’m pretty sure Willis has confirmed Ethan will eventually return,) did seem to put the ship on hold, since Danny definitely had an Actual Crush and while Ethan wasn’t thinking about dating due to the aforementioned baggage. And then Danny blew it re: Mike.

          But Danny can well have crushes on more than one person simultaneously, even if he doesn’t necessarily plan on acting on them – remember, he showed pretty clear signs before he found out they were sharing a body that he was attracted to both Amber and AG, and told Amber they couldn’t date because he already had a girlfriend before she told him about being AG. (AmbG as a system being a retcon, the early stages of the Danny relationship have them both seem way more okay dating Danny as either alter than they would be by the end. I headcanon that at the time, Amber and AG were much more in sync and the Blaine-Sal-Car Chase traumas pushed them progressively out of it, while also causing them to label Amber the ‘bad’ alter to AG’s ‘good’ one much more consistently and OBVIOUSLY Danny should only date the good one.) Most likely, he just had multiple crushes and was focusing on self-discovery for a while.

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          I suspect it’s also that Danny would definitely just not be into casual sex. As we know, he needs plans and he needs rules he can follow. Admittedly, his need for rules would actually make him an excellent member of a pan relationship, but he’s nowhere near that stage (or will never get there, which is fine as well). There’s almost no way he’d sleep with someone without being in a relationship with them. OK, maybe he would have slept with Jennifer that one time if he hadn’t already had a crush on AG at that point, but I have my doubts even about that, or at least about whether he could have accepted the concept of it being a one-time thing. In terms of Ethan, remember his determination to find Ethan a boyfriend, with the clear subtext “Then you’ll be taken and therefore off-limits, so my crush will go away and we can hang out and everything will be fine.” Ethan being into casual sex probably discombobulated Danny a bit, because that sort of thing is so not covered in his set of rules — does this count as putting him off-limits or not??? Before realizing that no, it means he’s available, just not at all for anything Danny would be comfortable with.

          Huh. I literally only just realized that the Danny/Ethan thing is Sarah/Jacob in reverse.

        3. Regalli

          Also a factor, yeah.

    2. Demoted Oblivious

      1. Regardless of orientation, you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. It doesn’t follow an algorithm or quota system. Also, they’re not getting married. Dan’s got plenty of time to explore his birds and bees.
      2. That Danny is Danning up his explanation of not flowers still doesn’t reveal if this is a romantic or just a friendly gesture.
      3. This seems to be the first conclusive heresay that ‘something’ happened to Sal’s bike. Which leads to the question, “insurance?” Hypothesis: Linda witholding tuition to force Sal to sell/stop riding?

      1. BBCC

        That’s what I’m thinking, yeah, Re: Linda. I REALLY hope I’m wrong.

    3. Spencer

      😐

    4. fridge_logic

      I kind of like the idea that Dan realizing he’s bi has opened his horizons to how much of a catch he can be (in spite of not being the stereotypical manly man he can still land a catch like Ethan).

      So maybe he’s able to accept that as hot as Sal is that doesn’t mean he has no chance since the world isn’t a binary and maybe she’s into guys who look like sticks but turn out to be packing emotional depth.

  8. Wagstaff

    Ah, bouquets, the tired stereotype of gifts to girls. Doesn’t quite compare with Steam gift cards though (just to set one example).

    1. Yotomoe

      Man I hope I get a GF that plays steam games. I’d so much rather buy that than flowers. Or maybe a steam gift card HIDDEN in a bouquet.

      1. He Who Abides

        My wife and I have spent the past several Valentine’s Days buying Pokémon cards for each other. Thankfully, we completed our decks before this stupid price spike; if not, roses might’ve actually been cheaper.

      2. sabotabby

        I’m a girl who likes girls, so not sure if this holds true for the straight girls out there… but a steam gift card hidden in a bouquet would definitely make me swoon. Maybe you should try it.

        1. Leorale

          Absolutely Yes to Steam card hidden in a bouquet, that’s great. May you someday find just the person to recieve it.

  9. Jamie

    Well, I wasn’t expecting that gesture. Not sure if I’m shipping this or not, but I approve of proactive Danny trying.

  10. BlackScarabFilmZ

    And it won’t wither and die!

  11. C.T. Phipps

    This will, of course, help cover up the fact Danny smothered Mike with a pillow.

    1. Rycan

      …wha??

      1. King Daniel

        This incident was part of the reason why Mike decided to go undercover as Jennifer, remember?

    2. Spencer

      I like the part where you write this stuff and then Danny is, like, acting about as kindly and as decently as he can to someone he cares about.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        Well it wouldn’t help cover it up if he wasn’t now would it?

        🙂

    3. Anon A Mouse

      Why would he need to cover that up? He was doing the world a favor

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        More like your mom was doing the world favours, for a nickel.

    4. Thag Simmons

      Mike was on life support, couldn’t you just pull the plug?

      1. C.T. Phipps

        Danny is not very good at murder.

        Especially since the attempt failed and Mike became Booster. A better happier person!

        1. King Daniel

          Now I know you’ve got it wrong.

          Mike became Jennifer.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Herb Alpert (and Janet)’s “Diamonds” on the PA speaker*

  13. Grimey

    I…Kinda ship it? I mean their relationship has grown organically. Awkwardly, and I dunno what to even describe it but it’s still grown.

  14. Josh Spicer

    It might be my drunk ass looking too deeply but Sal almost looks like she’s flattered.

    1. Grimey

      I do think she’s flattered but also that she doesn’t know…How to handle this level of kindness? Like Danny didn’t get it for any other reason to make her happy. He wants for nothing so to speak, and how do you handle that?

      1. DailyBrad

        That is my read, too. Danny is a character she trusts and is part of her inner circle, so it is a lot for her to take in since she can’t easily shrug it off.

      2. Steelbright

        I hope Danny got it for that reason. Seems like (part of) the reason he fucked up with Ethan was that he mostly was thinking of everything in terms of how the whole situation would work in his favor romantically (“oh i’d better be a hero and go comfort him,” though he fucked that up too), and it’d be nice to see him doing something a bit more selflessly. but maybe that’s just my read on Danny. Idk.

        Also Grimey’s got a great Dorothy avatar and I now feel mine is inadequate :3

        1. Grimey

          No Dorothy Avatar is an inadequate avatar. It is written…Somewhere.

        2. Sunny

          Dorothy could probably tell us exactly where it’s written.

        3. Steelbright

          She could indeed. Our hero…

    2. JessWitt

      I did let out a little squee at that panel.

  15. BBCC

    This is the cutest strip I have ever seen.

    I can’t speak for Indiana, but here you can find a bouquet for less than $15 so to me, this tells me he’s springing for the good stuff. OR that Indiana has obscenely expensive flowers.

    1. King Daniel

      Perhaps Willis is just preparing for the sliding timescale to move past the Climate Disaster of 2048

      1. Bathymetheus

        The climate disaster of 2020 – 2030 is going to leave very few people to even notice the one in 2048. Or the ones in between.

    2. Regalli

      He may screw up sometimes, but at his core, Danny really is a good egg.

    3. DailyBrad

      He’s a good dude, yeah. I also think the price of flowers is heavily season-dependent and where you look for them.

      1. BBCC

        Fair enough, I’ll have to double check in winter.

        1. DailyBrad

          Granted, I could easily be wrong. It’s sorta easy for me, I guess, since I am from Texas, so we pretty much always have roses around.

        2. BBCC

          I’m up here in Canadia. So lemme check again in a month or two when it’s cold again.

        3. Geneseepaws

          If we don’t burn it down first. :—(

        4. BBCC

          Okay true.

        5. Lone Duck

          Depending on what you go with, you can range from $5 for carnations or hydrangeas to over 100 or 200 dollars. I bet a florist was trying to upsell Danny a bit too hard.
          Is it wrong that I want to see Sal making motorcycle noises on her bicycle?

    4. zee

      It really depends on location. My boyfriend is dutch and i got his mom a lovely bouquet of lilies and roses for mother’s day for only about 20something euro. I tried to find something of a similar caliber for my mom here in Jamaica and it would’ve run me over $100 US

  16. Mr. Random

    Danny…. has a point.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      That’s the horn of the bike seat, not Danny’s.

  17. Rycan

    At least she acknowledges it as being a whole-ass bike, as opposed to a half-assed one.

    1. Yotomoe

      I hate those Half assed bikes that you can only ride with one cheek.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        How fast is a half-assed bike though?

        1. Leorale

          How much ass
          Can whole-assed bikes smash
          If un-crashed bikes can smash ass?

          (Please do not smash asses with your bicycle.)

  18. Sirksome

    Can we just acknowledge right now that literally no character in this comic is good enough for Danny? I don’t believe in leagues but Danny is definitely out of everyone else’s.

    1. DailyBrad

      Danny’s stepped in it, so to speak, in the past, but he is a good dude who has a habit of rising to the occasion.

      I really liked Amber and Danny together, but Amber was unfortunately right to walk away at that time because a lot of her Blaine damage was rising to the surface towards the end. It’d maybe be a different story now, but also possible that ship is thoroughly sailed.

      Sal’s developing into a really good person in her own right. Bit judgmental sometimes, sure, and really bad at letting people in, but she really shows up for people when she needs to. Also, frankly, Marcie-Malaya shows she’s got more in common with Danny in terms of awkward moments than one might expect given her “resident cool girl” status.

      1. He Who Abides

        Wasn’t Danny dating Amazi-Girl, not Amber? I distinctly remember people being angry that he assumed a comic-book-reading geek was into costumed roleplay, rather than him magically knowing that they were dissociative when even they didn’t realize that.

        1. Sirksome

          He was technically dating Amazi-girl and not Amber but frankly that relationship was played pretty fast and loose depending entirely on what Amber/AG expected from him at the time. She even admitted to him that they were slipping back and forth back then and neither knew who was in charge when.

        2. DailyBrad

          Yeah, he was dating Amazi-Girl, but the lines did blur a good deal, which is what ended up leading to the end of the relationship.

        3. Tan

          Really what it was was a poly relationship between two people who had no idea how to handle a poly relationship and one person who wasn’t even AWARE it was until somewhere between the end and after-the-fact.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Yeah sure, nobody’s good enough for the guy who grinned like a Cheshire cat while he disemboweled Mike in front of Ethan. With his bare hands. Sometimes I don’t think I’m reading the same comic as some of y’all.

      1. Anon A Mouse

        You say that like killing Mike was a BAD thing.

  19. Spencer

    I’ve made more than a handful of posts here and Patreon along the lines of “oh Danny/Sal would be nice but where’s the drama? They can’t get together because they already vibe so well there’d be no real stakes to a relatiosnhip” and like nah fam I’mma slap myself in the face for that ’cause I’m all in on this cute ass shit

    1. BBCC

      So NOW will you chant ‘kiss’ with me? 😛

    2. DailyBrad

      If it helps, I think there’s still some drama avenues with it.

      1. Danny’s had a few relationships in the past. I don’t think Sal’s really had a lot of experience with committed relationships yet, so it might be pretty new to her.

      2. Even if Amber and Sal are cool now, it could be tricky. Then again, Amber and Sal have talked about Danny in the past and both nudged the other on if they’d pursue him, so I am guessing it’d be fine.

      3. Both have awful parents. Sal’s are actively worse, but I could see Sal chewing Danny’s parents out for how much they talk down to him. Like, you’ve seen the comment sections with “Dannying it up”, and even a lot of the comments were appalled with how awful they are to his self-esteem.

      4. The both do and do not share a social circle, so that’d be interesting. Sal probably butting heads with Joe, plus Malaya around Danny would certainly be a strange dynamic.

      1. He Who Abides

        I’m sick of “Dannying it up”, honestly. Especially when some of those commenters will also defend a more repulsive cast member (read: fucking MIKE) for far worse.

        1. BBCC

          I think these days it’s mostly affectionate. But yeah, it was obnoxious for a while.

        2. Regalli

          I feel like it tapered off to some degree after meeting the Wilcoxen (which explained Danny’s defining himself exclusively through his girlfriend and making Bad Decisions as a result, to a frankly horrifying level) and then Ukulele/Hat Danny seemed to kill it off for a while outright. (At least being used seriously.) There’s been a resurgence since the hospital scene, though.

          But also agreed. Even at his most obnoxious, Danny has never been as bad as other characters who got excused WAY more consistently. I think he royally screwed up in the hospital scene, but he’s still no Mike.

      2. Regalli

        Malaya around Danny and Sal vs the Wilcoxen are both story avenues I would DEFINITELY be interested in. Also Marcie and Danny could be nice. (I’m pretty sure by cross-universe sexuality transitive property that Marcie’s also bi, and therefore Danny looking for a Cool Bisexual to mentor him in the ways of being Cool and Bisexual while Marcie’s befuddled would be HILARIOUS.)

        1. BBCC

          Marcie is indeed bi. Willis mentioned it during the flashback to when she met Sal on Tumblr. “Today’s bi visibility day, but now’s not the best time to out Marcie when she’s five.”

        2. Sunny

          Is Malaya still doing that thing where she’ll have sex with anyone she is sure Sal wants to have sex with, or be better friends with Sal’s friends than Sal is? Because if she is it would be hilarious to watch her try with Danny only for him to constantly turn her down.

      3. JBento

        I, for one, would like to see what happens when Malaya, whose main go-to approach to everyone seems to be “you’re so fakey”, runs into Danny, who has all the capacity for deceit, subterfuge, and underhandedness of an Abe Lincoln neon sign.

    3. Rabisch

      I think the ship has the potential for a lot of dramatic arcs. Danny’s parents are terrible and he has huge problems interacting with them and opposing them for himself (or for others,
      in this case for someone who may just be a former delinquent to them). Sal’s parents aren’t exactly good either. Also, I don’t think the story with Ethan is really over yet.

  20. Imogen

    I’m glad that Danny’s ship with Sal is still being explored. Honestly, I didn’t see a lot in him and Ethan, and it’s nice to see a bisexual character who gets to be shipteased with the opposite gender. Pressing bisexual people to “prioritize” same-gender relationships is one of the sneakier and nastier forms of biphobia some parts of the queer community enable, speaking as a bi girl.

    1. DailyBrad

      I get how you mean. I thought he and Ethan had some fun moments, but I didn’t feel it as-much as a lot of people did.

    2. Spencer

      Yeeeeeepppp.

      It’s an insidious train of thought because bisexuality is marginalized in a lot of fiction where it’s “just a phase” and the character has a fling in college but runs to affirming heterosexuality and everything is good, so in response to this we see bi characters who, if they exist at all, almost uniformly end up in same-sex relationships as a way to validate against that marginalization.

      That part’s good, but then it extends to “if this bi dude does not fuck a dude he is actually a Fake Bisexual” and you can’t even argue against them because they’re fueled by years and years of cheap and awful bi representation, so if you try to explain “hey you’re engaging in that same kind of erasure” they lose their goddamn minds.

      The reality is that every bi story is good, because we’re only now shaking off the decades of accumulated detritus and we’re writing the book on the fly. Loki’s bisexual in his (their? I know they’re genderfluid in the comics but I don’t think that carried over into the MCU) new show, and if that affirmation that he is bi is all he gets, if he doesn’t hook up with anyone or if his love interest is a woman, he’s still bi, he doesn’t have to smooch a dude to prove it.

      1. Regalli

        Loki is canonically genderfluid in the MCU, but I think that’s currently been in freeze frame bonus-type stuff exclusively thusfar. (Which is the separate issue of Disney’s willingness to include queerness in their big budget stuff recently, but only in background moments or single, easily-cut lines. If Loki’s bisexuality’s only been allowed as textual in a line or two so far, I can see that being a valid complaint because of that trend while the impact is still a lot of dipping into Biphobic Bullshit, because of COURSE it is. Clearly the season finale should go the Steven Universe Undeniable and Uncuttable route, and be Loki getting attacked by the villain or whatever while at a Pride event clearly in appropriate colors the entire episode.) In the comics, I think he usually uses mixed pronouns and shifts body type depending on how they’re feeling genderwise at the moment. Admittedly, my knowledge here’s pretty much all secondhand.

        But yeah, cosigned to your entire comment. Years of baggage resulting in a big, complicated mess that tends to end in bi erasure. Ugh to that.

        1. Sunny

          Loki turned himself into a mare and got fucked by a stallion in the original source material, then gave birth to a foal several months later. Marvel/Disney are seriously downplaying things.

        2. JBento

          And then his foster dad rides that foal into combat, because at that point, why not?

        3. thejeff

          The horse has appeared in the comics, so I guess that’s canon there as well.

        4. Regalli

          Oh, 100%, but the world is not ready for Mythologically Accurate Loki so we all have to cope.

        5. zee

          HOW could you neglect to mention that said foal had eight legs?

        6. Spencer

          With Loki in the comics they had a female body one time in the late 00s, but the concept of Loki as genderfluid came from Al Ewing’s Loki: Agent of Asgard series where before the series started *breathes in* Loki dies, reincarnates himself as an innocent child self, and once that child self redeems his reputation to Asgard Loki annihilates him and steals the body, whereupon Loki begins to actually try and redeem himself because he realized he was a horrible bastard person, so he does wetworks for Asgard in exchange for having his legacy of lies and villainy erased.

          Loki eventually dies again and reincarnates once more as the God and Goddess of Stories, and is referred to by Odin as “my son who is also my daughter.”

          The entire “Kid Loki” saga starting with Kieron Gillen’s Journey Into Mystery and ending with Agent of Asgard has a decent shot of being the best Marvel comic of the 10s and I recommend it to everyone.

          As for Loki’s bisexuality on the show, this is difficult to talk about because so much of bisexuality is in inference and avoidance, but I also think there’s a level where a bisexual character existing in a story that isn’t explicitly about their romance, I think that’s valid too, and I think that’s valid because we’re at a point where it feels like there’s a gate for bisexual characters to pass, where we have to make sure they’re Good Bisexual Reputation, before they’re allowed to be in a story and exist as characters.

  21. DailyBrad

    That was awesome of him. I guess he did already sorta-gift her his 3DS in the past, I don’t remember if she gave it back or not.

    Still, this is obviously more useful for her in the meantime.

    1. He Who Abides

      Unless I’m mistaken, she gave it back before buying her own with that gift card Linda gave her.

      1. BBCC

        She did.

      2. DailyBrad

        Ah, good memory, thanks.

  22. Tim

    Interesting that he bought himself a helmet, just to walk the bike to Sal?

    1. Needfuldoer

      I bet he rode it most of the way there, but jumped off and walked it the rest of the way when he saw her outside.

  23. Spencer

    It’s 1AM and I only just now remembered this and if I tried to write it now I’d pass out, so I’m writing this to remind myself that in a series of strips where Danny is being the goodest of eggs and engaging in the most evolved state of bisexuality: puns, I think it’s time I unload that essay I’ve been brewing on why I genuinely believe Danny to be one of the most affirming bisexual characters in any current work of fiction.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Please do. I look forward to reading it if you’re willing to share.

    2. Regalli

      I would happily read it!

      1. Spencer

        This is harder than I thought so I think I’ll post it when the next strip is up.

  24. Akp

    I *adore* this friendship

  25. BenRG

    They’re going to be dating by the end of the week. Sal won’t know why it has happened but, somehow, it will be important to her.

    1. Schpoonman

      God, I hope so.

  26. Hinoron

    It depends on the city I suppose, but there are whole sub-economies trading in used bicycles… some (possibly all) of which may have been stolen, admittedly, then disassembled, reassembled with different parts, and repainted.
    There’s also no shortage of people who bought one after getting a DUI, then stuffed it in their garage to be forgotten after they got their licence back. They’d sell cheaply.

    It’s possible to find cheap bikes if you know where to look, is my point.

  27. Nenja

    Awww, this is sweet ❤

  28. RassilonTDavros

    Tiny detail I just noticed: Danny says Sal has seemed bummed since she “got home from Christmas break.” Considering how shitty Linda is, I really like the idea that Sal has found a home at school.

    (if anyone compares this to a book written by a terf i will beat them to death with their own femurs politely ask them to stop)

    1. AGV

      Home is where you make it after all

    2. BBCC

      Much like Joyce did. <3

  29. Rabisch

    This is so sweet. Danny is trying to make Sal feel happy with an unexpected gift. Although he feels uncomfortable about doing it and sees how the whole situation can be misunderstood in an attempt to impress her. I think he really just wants to give his good friend Sal a gift without any secondary ideas, or maybe to have someone to ride his bike with. Sal looks so surprised, I’m afraid she’s no used to having gifts and she doesn’t know what to do. I hope she accept the bike ♡

  30. Bagge

    ….yeah, it’s kinda weird.

    But still cute in a very dorky way.

  31. Geneseepaws

    I wanna know if Sal, on a bicycle, can slide into a scene with more style, more chill and hotness than Asher can on a crotch-rocket.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Sal could pull a combined Van-Dyke / Kramer entance, fall flat on her face, and *still* slide into the scene with more chill and hotness and notably class than Asher.

  32. darkoneko

    it’s probably the sweetest and awkardest courting I’ve seen this year

  33. electriccombines

    Honestly coming from anyone else I would find it weird, but from Danny it just feels weirdly wholesome? Like he doesn’t do the whole ‘ulterior motive’ type thing, if anything he’s overly honest about shit.

    Also cute Sal is cute I love her ;w;

    1. Buli-buli

      Speaking as a Danny fan and someone who ships Danny and Sal (though I would settle for BFFs), I hesitate to say Danny expects nothing from this. …Or maybe it would be better to say hopes for?

      Beginning of the year Danny expected the world to follow Hollywood rules and Danny saw himself in a RomCom. Do this, this, and that and happily ever after will follow.
      He’s never been the type to demonize a girl like the stereotypical “nice guy” (he handled both breakups and their aftermaths with aplomb in my opinion), but I am unsure where he stands now on his subconscious expectations.

      At any rate, Danny’s the type to open an attempt to ask a girl out with a big romantic gesture so maybe he’s hoping for a date. But, he’s definitely also the type to just want to do something nice for a friend. We will have to wait for the scene to pan out.

      1. Rabisch

        I hope he also has a bike and wants to have someone to ride around the campus with him. Not dates, but nice outings between friends.

        1. BenRG

          They will remain ‘not a dates’ until a stunned Sal is found walking around the dorms staring at a ring. “He asked me an’ I said yes!”

  34. Keulen

    Bouquets of flowers that are more expensive than bikes? That seems odd to me. Also, I’m definitely shipping this universe’s versions of Sal and Danny now.

    1. BenRG

      It’s called comedic exaggeration.

    2. Regalli

      I suspect Danny went for the Fancy Florists, and maybe got upselled in the process before he realized a bike would be WAY more useful.

  35. BenRG

    It suddenly occurred to me that Sal is still processing the part where Danny was considering getting her flowers. Yes, I suspect that Danny is a very, very dorky romantic and also a very romantic dork. I wonder if that’s the secret to Sal’s affections?

    1. Geneseepaws

      The secret to Sal, is sweet truth and sweet trust. Sal has been betrayed by people who should have her back, betrayed at every twist and turn, by everyone from friends to family. Only Marcie has not betrayed her. She will need No grand gestures, no sweepings off of the feets. IMAO, she will need slow steady small steps, because the level of Cynic! that she has (on a scale of one to ten) is very nearly turned to eleven.

  36. thumb

    ah, “the big gesture”. I have no idea what their relationship is like at this point, although I expect Sal is ready to jump anybody’s bones at this point.

    1. BenRG

      They make music together and Danny has tried to be a good friend. This puzzles Sal, which is sad when you think about it.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Trust issues because she expects people to betray her. It makes me sad.

        1. Rabisch

          Right now Sal needs a Tiffany to explain to her that words are just words and she has to believe in actions. Danny has always been honest with her, he helped her with Math because, for him, that was the right thing to do and he was always a good friend who never did anything against her.

        2. Shitbird

          He definitely feels attracted to her but isn’t a total neck beard and learned his lesson with Ethan

  37. Juanoku

    This is actually adorable…

  38. Amos Batista

    Danny went full-fool this time.
    (Sorry, I’m old enough go not get into these romantic shit).

  39. Opus the Poet

    Can confirm that DoA is using pre-pandemic economic reality. Bicycles are currently trading about the same as gold bullion.

  40. zee

    At first i was really annoyed at the ship bc they’re such good friends and their dynamic reminded me of my best friend and me (whom i may or may not have been denying my attraction towards) and i was annoyed that people couldn’t just let a guy and a girl be friends.

    Well I’ve been dating that best friend for over a year now and am currently looking to move half way across the planet to live with him so, guess I’m commandeering this ship now

    1. BenRG

      I hope it goes well for you!

    2. BBCC

      Congrats! <3

      1. zee

        Thanks y’all ☺️

  41. wiki

    He’s not wrong about the prices of flowers. You can get a bike for under $200 at walmart, but half/third a bouquet is $30 and will die in a weekend.

  42. Wakeangel2001

    I’ve never used a bike that cost more than $200, the one I used to commute to college in my last year cost about $150 or so. But I’ve heard that really good bikes can cost over $1000 so I don’t know what to say here.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      But those were I’m sure regular biked. What is a whole ass-bike trading at these days?

  43. Kitschensyngk

    Bikes last longer than flowers.

  44. John

    I feel like I may have missed something, when/why did Sal get rid of her motorcycle? Am I just blacking that out from my memory?

    1. Needfuldoer

      It was during the time skip, under circumstances yet to be elaborated upon.

      1. Ryek Hvek

        the motorcycle turned into an eight-legged foal then ran away

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