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Blessing
Posted on December 5, 2014 by David M Willis
webcomicrampage2014largerWebcomic Rampage is this weekend!  Come see me and a dozen other folks in Austin, Texas, at Dragon's Lair Comics & Fantasy!  

200 thoughts on “Blessing”

  1. Jen Aside

    haHA, I e;fb-ed you, Amber!

    1. Tom T.

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    2. John

      You, uh… what?

    3. Dragon

      ???

    4. EvilPenguin

      I remember the first time I e;fb-ed someone. That was a fun night

    5. Yotomoe

      Back in my day we used to Wine and Dine a girl before we’d do that, and not until at least the 3rd date.

    6. Usayasha

      Aren’t you usually supposed to introduce a key when you use a cipher?

    7. Hoboturtle

      Closest definition I could find was “Edit: Fuck Beat”ed which I guess means getting to somewhere before someone else…. maybe?

    8. Cypherfox

      Prolly Urban Dictionary. Think posting ‘First!’ second, and then editing your post to strike it out, and adding ‘E:f,b’.

      1. Zach

        It’s a 4 leg race. The couples must remain penetrated the whole time.

  2. Tunaro

    Here a ship, there a ship, ev’rywhere a new ship.

    1. la6ue mous snow angel

      I don’t know if I’d call this a new ship.

      1. Leorale

        OH HAI JACOB

      2. Yotomoe

        Refurbished, maybe.

    2. Stephen Bierce

      I’d pull out that picture of a freighter carrying several other freighters, but I don’t think I can find it fast enough for me to care. 😐

    3. Jen Aside

      meanwhile, in DANNY’S fanfic…

    4. Undrave

      Slashfics EVERYWHERE!!!

    5. Marianne

      Willis has built one hell of an impressive shipyard of a comic. Like, Utopia Planitia impressive.

      1. Deanatay

        Are you saying this is a star-ship?

        1. Marianne

          Full speed ahead, Mr. Sulu! 😀

        2. Roborat

          Oh my!

    6. Roborat

      Ships? It’s a fraking armada!

  3. la6ue mous snow angel

    You don’t want to read Ethan’s internal fanbook…

    1. la6ue mous snow angel

      *fic

      1. la6ue mous snow angel

        I’m tired; forgive me for stupid typos.

        1. fogel

          Spellchecker ‘thinks’ that “fanbook” is really Facebook …

        2. anonymous

          Luckily I was using a computer without a spellchecker or you’d be so confused why I was talking about Facebook.

  4. liahansen

    The proper term is friendfic.

    1. Tunaro

      I thought it was lemon.

      1. Undrave

        Ya know I never see the term ‘lemon’ used much anymore. Why is that? I think it’s due a comeback :p

        1. Jess

          Agreed. I want some lemons here, too. XP

        2. tinfoil theory

          Lemon party!

        3. fogel

          Lemonfic? That’s perverse.

        4. Bibulb

          Old fart here – BECAUSE THESE DARN KIDS TODAY DON’T REMEMBER CREAM LEMON ANYMORE.

          Not that I’m old and cranky and bongoy and GET OFF MY LAWN DAMNIT or nothing like that.

    2. Dean

      She does it out of love!

    3. Yotomoe

      It’s also called “Creepy” by most sane people.

    4. JessWitt

      Erotic friendfic, for greater specificity.

    5. AgentKeen

      Just as long as she keeps zombie basketball players out of it…

  5. Doctor_Who

    Amber is one of us, right? Own up, which of you in secretly Amber?

    1. Doctor_Who

      IS secretly Amber. Man, this is what after midnight typing does to me.

      1. Kol

        Danny’s the one secretly in Amber, if you wanted to know that too 😉

      2. Deanatay

        I knew it! Plasma Mongoose is Amber. It’s the only thing that makes sense!

    2. caesaria82

      I do sort of have the hair and the glasses and the crushes on unavailable people and a tendency to ship people with extreme ferocity hrmmm…

      I do not usually dress up to perform vigilante justice, however. Also masks make my face itch. But even if I *was* secretly a superhero, I would probably not tell you, secret identities and whatnot 😉

      1. Disloyal Subject

        While I may possess a cape, utility belt, parkour skills, hand-to-hand skills, and a deep well of rage and regret, all are inferior to Amber’s.
        Come to think of it, the belt could do with replacing.

        1. Roborat

          Hmm, were your parents killed in front of you?

    3. Yotomoe

      Why do you think I compliment the Amazi-rack so much?

      1. John

        ‘Cause you’re a heterosexual guy and it’s pretty amazing?

        (Is it still the Amazi-Rack when she’s Amber? Or is it now the Hugs Bosom?)

    4. Amazi-Girl

      It is I.

      1. cesium133

        Nice try, Mike.

      2. gwalla

        Dio?

        1. AgentKeen

          Amazi-Girl: “You thought it was Amber, but it was me, Dio!”

          Did I do that right?

  6. MrSirk

    We’re all writing that fanfic and a thousand others with Jacob as the star.

    1. Jen Aside

      I got one I need a few more minutes on, then GLORY

    2. Undrave

      Everyone fantasize about Jacob…everyone!

  7. Khantalas

    We all wrote that fanfic, Amber. We all did.

    1. timemonkey

      I didn’t! I did write a little with Joe though.

  8. Emoroffle

    I’m sure many, many people beat Amber to the punch on that one.

    1. newllend

      Moving at the speed of the internet.

      1. Kelly

        and a universe that moves orders of magnitude faster…

    2. Ntrovert60

      Well, where Jacob is concerned, methinks that folks are beating SOMETHING. [There are so many euphemisms for male masturbation, but i haven’t been treated to any uniquely female ones. Maybe I just don’t hang out with the right crowd]

      1. Disloyal Subject

        There are many. ‘Schlick’ is the onomatopoetic equivalent to ‘fap,’ and then there’s the metaphors, like ‘flicking the bean,’ or something about… Was it clams or tacos?

        1. gwalla

          There’s “walking the dog”, though I admit I don’t really understand the metaphor there.

      2. pyrophobia

        DJ-ing. Wicka wicka wicka! (Its the similar hand motion)

  9. Em

    Are…are you having sexy thoughts about your ex and Jacob, Miss Amber?

    ‘Sokay, we’re all doing the same. But with Ethan, not our own personal exes. Right?

    1. la6ue mous snow angel

      To answer your first question: Yes.
      Second question: I am currently ex-less and sex-less.

    2. Yotomoe

      You can fantasize about your exes without writing it down and that won’t be creepy, right!? RIGHT!?

    3. Pebblerocker

      In imagining an ex in a lurid scene with Ethan, I realise that I used to go with someone who looked a bit like Danny. He had nice hair, anyway.

    4. The_Bionic_Doctor

      …. if she fantasises about Ethan with a sex-god like Jacob, she could probably like the idea of Ethan+Danny… + her of course

  10. rachel

    YES! WE! CAN!

  11. caramelundqueer

    Hey Jacob actually has a chance with Amber in this universe. I vote him for her next boyfriend if/when she and Danny break up and she gets some much needed therapy.

    1. liahansen

      oh hey yeah. Although tbh we don’t really know a lot about Jacob in this universe except that he’s pretty friendly and pretty

      1. caramelundqueer

        I don’t know how much personalities are going to differ from Shortpacked to her but since he”s an overall decent guy there I think it’s safe to say he’s probably equally overall decent here. And since it is very likely her current bf and ex bf are going to be hooking up at some point in the future Amber deserves one hell of a rebound and LOOK AT HIM.

        1. caramelundqueer

          LOOK.

        2. Leorale

          I cannot argue with that!
          Plus, he wants a real relationship, and I think Amber does, too…
          Ship it, ship it good!

        3. fogel

          Was that a Devo song?

        4. Dragon

          Whip it! Whip it good!

    2. winter

      YES! I loved them together in Shortpacked~ Not that I was unhappy with how things turned out at all.

      Shipping Amber and everyone in this universe:
      Amber/Danny
      Amber/Danny/Ethan
      Amber/Mike, round 2
      Amber/Jacob

      Amber/Anyone is acceptable. It’s awful.

      1. Yotomoe

        Amber/Amazi-girl.

        1. winter

          Of course! Pretty sure it’s canon and everything.

          And of course it’s a bit abusive and fucked-up, but what’s a ship without a little fucked-up-ed-ness?

        2. John

          Self-abusive?

        3. fogel

          Umm…

  12. Twinkle Toes the Berserker

    Poor Ethan. His roommate is totally hot and totally straight, and that’s got to feel unfair.

    And poor Amber. Its hard when your ship isn’t meant to be.

    1. Yotomoe

      Poor Amber. Her best friend is totally hot and gay, and that’s got to feel unfair.

      1. Corey

        Hey, it’s college. A little alcohol…. and Danny being there….

        1. Slinx

          Rape is bad, m’kay?

      2. Slinx

        Life is hard. Life is hard and no one understands.

  13. Aubri

    Ship it, ship it all night long.

    1. Leorale

      Now ship it
      Into shape
      Shape it up
      Get straight
      Go forward
      Move ahead
      Try to detect it
      It’s not too late
      To ship it
      Well, ship it good

      1. maxlines

        Ship Happens.

        1. maxlines

          http://youtu.be/8Tc7MH5ZXbg

      2. Leorale

        (note: getting straight is not actually unnecessary.)

        1. Leorale

          bah, I meant “not actually necessary”. Sleepy posting is the silent killer

  14. caesaria82

    This is the most relatable (to me) thing Amber has ever said in the entire time this comic has been existing lol.

  15. Ali

    Those are some seriously short shorts and a really short tanktop for a straight man. Way to be secure in your masculinity and hotness, Jacob!

    1. Ali

      Whoops, and secure in your sexuality!

      1. MrSirk

        If you have it, flaunt it! Especially if you have a closeted roomate you want to inadvertantly drive insane.

    2. Yotomoe

      They fit a month ago but he’s been doing nothing but working out. He’s already 2 Jacobs bigger than he once was.

      1. Björn

        Yeah, he’s turning into the effin Juggernaut.

      2. Disloyal Subject

        Oh, good. I thought I might be imagining things when I saw how MASSIVE he was.
        It actually makes him less cute to me, but whatever. So long as he remembers to stretch to maintain flexibility, and keep those bulging muscles well-toned, I shan’t complain.

    3. madock345

      Yeah, makes me wish that panel was just a little more zoomed-out…

  16. Lanval

    Now I’m just picturing a Danny/Ethan/Amber threesome where she is taking notes as it goes.

  17. GoogerGeiger

    I don’t think I’ve ever shipped more characters in a work of fiction before.

  18. newllend

    even if Ethan wasn’t gay Joyce and Ethan don’t even seem to mix. That reminds me where are Joyce and Becky now I really want to see an encounter between Becky and Ethan.

    1. Dean

      Becky will take one look at Ethan and Joyce together and immediately know the score.

      1. JessWitt

        Man, I hope Becky catches on to that farce. Be the nail to the J+E coffin.

        1. timemonkey

          Dorothy would be the nail in the Joyce/Ethan coffin.

    2. caesaria82

      Ever since Becky showed up I’ve been dying for an encounter between her and Ethan. I have a feeling she’s immediately gonna know. I hope it happens sooooon.

  19. monica

    I really want to like Ethan, but even in this (and last strip’s) tender moment with Amber he really comes off as a self-absorbed and unaware jerk in nice-guy clothing.

    1. Usayasha

      I just see him as being really terrible at knowing what’s good for him and really great at knowing what’s good for his friends. He has terrible judgement with anything involving himself, but he’s not exactly self-absorbed. He might even be something rather far from that.

      1. tinfoil theory

        His flirting with Danny?

        1. timemonkey

          Probably not deliberate.

  20. timemonkey

    See guys, Amber likes the idea of Ethan with other dudes.

    1. Yotomoe

      I like the idea of Ethan with other dudes too, but less from a “It’s hot” standpoint and more of a It feels right.

      1. caramelundqueer

        It also feels hot.

      2. Jen Aside

        They need not be mutually exclusive!

      3. caesaria82

        Things that feel right are the hottest things. All that ‘this is so wrong but so hot’ type of stuff in fiction was never my thing. People who are good for each other and happy and hot together FTW.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          A navy of such ships would command my undivided allegiance.

  21. caramelundqueer

    HAHA…I can’t wait for Danny to meet Jacob.

    1. caramelundqueer

      …And Joyce.

      1. caramelundqueer

        Joyce to meet Danny I mean.

        1. Jen Aside

          then wait no more! http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/piece/

        2. caramelundqueer

          Well that was anticlimactic.

        3. Disloyal Subject

          And here’s Dan meeting Jacob for the first time. I thought they were both present for a cafeteria scene, too, but it looks like I thought wrong.

        4. caramelundqueer

          Okay let me restate: I can’t wait for Danny to remeet Jacob knowing he’s into guys now and meet Joyce knowing he’s into her “boyfriend” and is someone she’ll potentially see as a threat.

        5. That Damn Rat

          I doubt his reaction will be different, he’s attracted to Ethan, and that’s why he’s had that reaction, it doesn’t necessarily follow he’ll be attracted to Jacob as well.

  22. Blue

    Amber is the straight version of me. *suddenly isn’t sure if that’s been confirmed* Well, the not-extremely-gay version of me, at any rate.

    1. caesaria82

      I was thinking the same thing. I literally even have glasses and similar hair. I am Amber. We are all Amber. Everything is Amber.

      Wait no. What was I saying. Yes. Non-straight version of Amber, party of two 😉 (at least two, lbr, there are more of us here lol)

      1. Aslee

        We need t-shirts, with all the different kinds of Ambers we are. I call ‘nonbinary Amber’.

      2. Suitora

        I’m Danny if Danny was questioning his own gender to a troubling extent… :\

  23. Jen Aside

    okay, are responses working, or is it the solitary link I’m trying to post

    1. Jen Aside

      n/m question answered

  24. cmd1095

    so yeah, the hover text, this strip, this video needs to show up somewhere, might as well be me

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tc7MH5ZXbg&list=WL&index=16

    1. caesaria82

      Plz play this song at my funeral thx.

    2. Itama

      new DoA themesong. right here.

    3. winter

      I clicked on this link and suddenly thirty minutes of my life had mysteriously disappeared and I’m humming some tune under my breath.

    4. Chris

      Really like it when Not Literally actually did it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCDgJiPBxfI

  25. StClair

    Amber is sequencing that genome as we speak.

  26. Kladeos

    Erotic friend-fiction!

  27. Rhy

    Next slipshine: all in Amber’s head

  28. nothri

    That’s right, I’m doing it again. This time seems more appropriate anyway.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgvdijP2qY

    1. nothri

      Son of a…somebody beat me to it, I guess. Sorry for the redundant link. Still an awesome song, however.

    2. Chris

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCDgJiPBxfI

  29. Idon'tcarenomore

    We know how Jacob affect Ethan, just scroll back thru the archives a bit.

    As to Joyce doing a fanfic for Ethan, she should be doing it for herself…good greif girl, Jacob is gorgeous (and from what little we know-nice), what’s the matter with you.

    Ethan has his good moments, but he is strictly self-involved. He has treated Amber pretty shabby: back in HS when he waited till they were in a motel bed on prom night to tell her he was gay.
    Then recently when he rubbed her nose in his relationship with Joyce…he was brutal. Plain and simple not Mr. Nice Guy.

    1. That Damn Rat

      I think it was more when they got to the motel room was the point where he realised consciously he was gay.
      And if anything his current dive back in to the closet is about living up to external pressures, familial and societal to not be the way he is. While his current actions are cowardly sure, calling him self involved for it is drawing a bit of long bow.

    2. tinfoil theory

      So, Amber should fantasize about cheating on her secret boyfriend, rather than about hooking up her desperate friend?

      1. John

        Technically Amber doesn’t have a boyfriend.

        1. JessWitt

          That very technicality is wrecking my brain.

        2. Disloyal Subject

          My interpretation is that she does, but she wants it to stay secret, so she pretends she doesn’t. Is that better or worse?

        3. That Damn Rat

          Probably better, the whole thing with keeping secret initially was Danny wanting to keep some mystery as to who Amazi-girl was, so as to not go to fast and Dan it up like he did with Dorothy.

  30. skdk

    Jacob sure showers a lot

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Working out is sweaty.

  31. JessWitt

    Lookin’ ship-shape, Jacob.

    1. Leorale

      I like the cut of his jib.

      1. Jen Aside

        “If that were a woman, I’d marry it.”
        “And I’d jeopardize our friendship by nailin’ your hot wife.”

        1. anonymous

          That’s a quote from something. …Is it QC?

        2. Jen Aside

          VENTURE another guess!

      2. tinfoil theory

        I’d be on the lookout for what else he might harbour.

      3. JessWitt

        I like the cut of his everything.

  32. nkh

    Can we ship it?

    YES WE CAN!

  33. Jesse

    “In my fanfic Jacob is your husbando and likes to do butt stuff and lets me watch.”

  34. Megatron

    You and a thousand other fleshlings.

  35. Leo Atrox

    you know, now that this ship has the official Willis seal of approval, it’s just not fun anymore…

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!!!!!!

  36. zaratustra

    The face that launched a thousand ships.

  37. tinfoil theory

    The M, revealed. It was obvious, of course, but still.
    Huggs Bosun.

  38. Alexis

    amber sexual erasure is RUDE >:[

  39. Bagge

    “You didn’t…” Didn’t what? Hurt her? Flip tables at her? Yell at her?

    That’s REALLY not the first thing that should come into your head when your best friend has talked to your partner.

    1. Joe

      Two of those things have precedent, though.

      1. Bagge

        That’s the problem.

      2. Disloyal Subject

        True, but the first conclusion I jumped to as to what he could be implying was still lesbian shenanigans. I’ve been in the comments too long; all hope of recovery is lost.

        1. Tenn

          I’ll admit: My first thought was “What? Why would he assume that?”

          Well, in my defense, I at least thought it was strange. -.-

  40. Loki1001

    Somewhere there was a scene transition from Glasso’s Pizza (and Subs) to the dorm, and I didn’t notice it.

  41. Aeron

    Amber makes a fanfic, presented by Slipshine.

  42. Thomas Wrobel

    At this point I feel obliged to advertise my http://www.fanficmaker.com website to help with all your shipping needs 😉

    (what? its ontopic! And I’ve bought everything Willis has stuck on kickstarter…I’m not a spammer honest :x)

  43. jbear

    i just realized ambers shirt said hugs bosom.

  44. Joe

    Que Sarah and Ethan fighting to the death over someone who ultimately doesn’t want either of them to begin with.

  45. Bibulb

    I hadn’t noticed Amber biting her lip until now. Evidently, his DNA has heretofore undiscovered nucleases which help spell out “fuck me”.

    Or at least he has that effect on women.

    1. Roborat

      Are you kidding. He has that effect on everyone, and everything. Even inanimate objects feel PSL for Jacob.

  46. Killjoy

    The strip that launched a thousand ships…

  47. Benvincible

    I love how Ethan is sortof the inverse of his character in Shortpacked! In Shortpacked!, he struggled to accept his nerdy personality and had to work to get over being ashamed of his toy hobby, but he accepted his sexuality pretty much instantly. In Dumbing of Age, he struggles with his sexuality but is really open with his love of toys and comic books (and, indeed, feels like his sexuality keeps him from enjoying that lifestyle to its fullest).

    1. chisci

      I feel it’s a question of time and place. By the time Ethan realized his orientation in Shortpacked!, everybody else had already noticed; that, and living in San Francisco I figure pretty much eliminated the struggle of coming out for him. Coming out sometime around 17 in Indiana to people who tend to assume he’s straight would be a completely different experience (other than Sarah, who’s straight up guessed he’s gay? Contrast to Shortpacked! where he sets off everybody’s gaydar basically upon breathing)

  48. MrBurrows

    Hey guys, did you know that if you order from the Shortpacked/DoA store, you get Willis’ phone number?

    1. fit-to-freak

      I feel like we should maybe not be sharing this info

  49. Mr. Morningstar

    erotic friend fiction?

  50. -Sentinel-

    It’s weird, but I think Willis’s previews of intertwined hands for his next Slipshine are more titillating than would be anything more explicit (like, say, a bare breast). Maybe I have a hand fetish.

  51. Arkadi

    Fanfics saved Amber’s sanity.

  52. SeanNOLA

    Do they even MAKE manshorts that short anymore?

  53. Vangeln

    Danny, Ethan, Jacob and Amber; I approve.

  54. Leorale

    Okay now that we’ve all drooled about Jacob, am I the only one who is sad that Amber is ok with Ethan/Joyce? I totally feel for Joyce too, but the appropriate response is friends and therapy, and in Joyce’s case maybe also prayer — not a gay fake boyfriend whom she hopes to marry. Why can’t she just pal around with Ethan to classes, why do they have to be romantically entangled? I’ll have to read the AG and Joyce scene again.

    1. Jen

      Yeah, that was my thought, too. 🙁

    2. winter

      Mostly because Joyce doesn’t want a guy to pal around with (a la Walky). She wants somebody to be romantic with. At first she was looking for somebody real to be romantic with, but Joyce got burned hard when Ryan attempted date rape. So, instead, she intentionally found somebody who would be an outlet for her romantic and sexual feelings, but who there was very little chance that anything serious actually happening with. In principle, it’s not that different from teens who get crushes on movie stars or their hs teachers. It’s an unthreatening object for feelings they are still not completely comfortable with and don’t fully understand yet, who are realistically going to neither act cruelly, nor reciprocate (so long as the teacher isn’t a creep). In practice it’s different from that, because Joyce is horny and Ethan is right there and could realistically reciprocate, if only he fell into what Joyce considered social norms. And Ethan goes along with this because he wants to feel normal and needed.

      It’s not very healthy, but mostly because they don’t have healthy attitudes about themselves, rather than about each other. (Joyce thinks Ethan should resist his gayness, and should try making out with her for selfish reasons, but she has never tried to deny that Ethan was gay in the first place, or said that it was a choice.)

      I don’t think Amber is really okay with it. But she is now sympathetic to Joyce’s situation, understands Joyce is not trying to shame or hurt Ethan, and knows that her motivations for trying to break them up were were more about her own issues than theirs.

    3. timemonkey

      She’s not happy about the relationship but knowing that Joyce sees Ethan as someone who would protect her rather than something she needs to cleanse of sin takes most of the rage out of it. It’s still stupi but not as harmful as what she’d been protecting him against all summer, and it’s ultimately his choice who he dates.

  55. pyrophobia

    *reads hovertext*
    I have a sinking feeling that Willis is making fun of us here…

    1. winter

      Perhaps.

      But we have naught to be ashamed of and, since Willis ships too, he would be poking fun at himself as well.

      1. pyrophobia

        (have to add this because I just became aware of the pun *I* stealthed in)
        “Naut” to be ashamed of, even.

    2. David M Willis

      Only if you’re unaware of my convention merchandise!: http://itswalky.deviantart.com/art/We-Can-SHIP-It-463264750

      1. pyrophobia

        Or that XD

  56. shammers

    i just got the reference on her shirt

  57. Miles

    Oh crap that was yesterday incomic time…. How many comics ago was that?….. How slowly does time pass in this comic? I swear in 2087 if this comic is still being made they’ll all just have gotten past the first year

    1. Carriethedragon

      If one month takes about four years to get through (this is without actually checking, but I think that’s roughly correct), then we’d get through the first year, which is about 8 months of school, in 32 years… So what I’m saying is, you’re a bit off, but really not that much, as hyperboles go.

  58. Bainick

    ALT text missed a perfect chance to quote Bob the Builder.

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