164

Self-discovery
Posted on May 5, 2019 by David M Willis

164 thoughts on “Self-discovery”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “are you laughing at me or your dad joke”

    1. Felix

      The more she thinks about it the worse it gets.

      1. LookingIn

        the more she realizes that he’s also right and can’t come up with a counter argument

  2. Doctor_Who

    Joyce is really regretting giving up her dream tummy virginity to this guy.

    1. Electriccombines

      *Insert Minecraft pain sound here*

    2. Architex

      Did you mean: “Joyce wanted to frick-frack this guy at one point”

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Fracking? Injecting high pressure water with proprietary chemicals into him?

        1. LookingIn

          …astonishingly, yes.

          Wow, who’d have thought fracking was a legitimate nickname for sex?

        2. Rheinman

          Ron Moore

  3. ValdVin

    The promised finger guns! Should I update my Tumblr?

    https://valdvin.tumblr.com/post/182805004128/dofa-chart-for-finger-guns

    1. Doctor_Who

      Ethan: True Dad?

    2. ValdVin

      Also, the changes from panel 4 to panel 5 are a hoot.

      1. Schpoonman

        As Ethan’s eyebrows approach the upper atmosphere, Joyce’s face continues to flatten until it becomes some sort of weird space-time bending event horizon. Like, I’m picturing something I think I saw in a TV show once but details aren’t crystalizing. Maybe it was the episode of Teen Titans (not Go) where Control Freak got a universal remote and the episode got really meta.

        I should watch Teen Titans again.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Eyebrows seem to be independent of the face they belong to in the Dumbiverse. I think we now know where the Aliens and Martians from the Walkyverse crossed over to the Dumbiverse, not as a cartoon show.

        2. Deanatay

          Eyebrows need a tag.

      2. Batz

        It took a second viewing for me to catch those eyebrows!

        1. Xenocide

          Ethan needs to catch them himself, before they leave the solar system

        2. Needfuldoer

          Nah, they’ll get stuck in heliocentric orbit with Becky’s.

    3. Bagge

      You should. You really should.

    4. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      Yes!

    5. LookingIn

      finger guns…does shooting them off mean the person being shot at has been finger-banged? 😀

  4. Sailorcakes

    Joyce is not impressed

    1. ShinyNeen

      Yeah, she’s seen eyebrows leap off people’s faces before.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Ruth should switch to confiscating eyebrows.

  5. ProfessorDetective

    At least he’s TRYING.

    1. Miri

      He’s very trying…

      (Couldn’t resist!)

      1. LookingIn

        perfect gravitar…

      2. Kim

        Great! 😀

      3. Roborat

        It’s okay, if you hadn’t posted this, I would have.

  6. MatthewTheLucky

    Ehhhh? Ehhhhhhhhhh?

    1. Lone Duck

      *Awkward two panel silence*
      Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

      1. Sunny

        But neither of them is Canadian, and Ruth isn’t there.

  7. Axel

    ffs just say ‘maybe try Josh’

    1. Axel

      I don’t think Joyce told Ethan that she and Becky talked to her, but even without outing Jocelyn Ethan can at least say that she was cool about him being gay

      1. Suitora

        You can be cool with “gay” and not with “trans”. Joyce is still somewhat steeped into gender roles like most cisgender women from her upbringing. She’s scratching the surface on feminism, but she isn’t quite there yet.

        1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          Boy is that ever true!

          My family thought I was gay for years and were pretty chill about it

          But suddenly I’m actually trans and it’s this whole big deal ?

        2. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          That sucks :c

        3. MaximumZero

          But if you’re gay now, won’t that make you straight when you transition? I’m very much with Galasso on this one, in the “not really understanding but fascinated,” camp.

        4. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          I’m actually bi lol

          I never came out till I told them I was trans, and before that they had just been assuming I was gay.

        5. Meagan

          Also a lot of people experience a shift in who they are attracted to when they start transitioning. Not everyone, but many people.

          Which is why I think a lot of gender non-conforming ppl don’t map well into the current terminology for attraction.

        6. Axel

          But Joyce doesn’t want to talk to her about trans stuff (yet) /probably barely registers that trans people exist (yet), nor would Jocelyn have to out herself to be someone Joyce could talk to about developing these values and differences from the family and so on.

        7. erejnion

          Trans is all about gender roles, so that’s not a problem. Joyce may not understand gender dysphoria, though. Has she mentioned anything in relation to mental illnesses before? I’m not sure. It would be really cringe if she goes all “but if you believe in Jesus, your brain will miraculously change its physical structure to match your prescribed gender!”

        8. Axel

          I would strongly disagree that being trans is about gender roles; there are tons of trans people who don’t conform to typical gender roles, including myself, and are still as binary (or non) trans as they would be otherwise.

          Also lots of people who are all about gender roles consider that a big part of why trans people are bad.

      2. Axel

        Oh I think maybe this was misunderstood is

        “even without outing Jocelyn Ethan can at least say that she was cool about him being gay”

        which more specifically would read

        “even without outing Jocelyn, Ethan can at least say (to Joyce) that she (Jocelyn) was cool about him (Ethan) being gay

        1. Axel

          *maybe WHERE this was misunderstood

      3. thejeff

        Though that’s a little awkward since Joyce doesn’t know Jocelyne knows Ethan is gay. And the only reason Ethan knows is that he was flirting with her because he thought she was a gay man.

        1. erejnion

          *because he found her attractive.

        2. GoblinScribe

          He thought she was a gay man and he found her attractive when she was presenting as a man.

        3. thejeff

          Both yes. I kind of muddled the sentence, but that led to him asking if she was gay and that led to their conversation about him being gay and thus to him learning she was trans.
          None of which is anything he’s going to talk to Joyce about. Especially since he was supposedly dating her when flirting with who he thought was her brother.

        4. erejnion

          True, true. I’d actually be surprised if he even mails Jocelyne. He’d feel too awkward to do that either.

        5. Axel

          I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t think it was a big deal if I heard, “well Joshua* guessed I was gay, and was completely okay about it” and if I asked when that happened, hearing “I didn’t think I should bring it up” or something.

          *because he’s telling Joyce and doesn’t want to out Joc

    2. Eve

      He did already, when he suggested she try the reasonable sibling he talked to. Yah Joyce used it as a chance to make a joke dunking on her siblings but I’m pretty sure she got who he meant.

      1. Axel

        Joyce doesn’t know Jocelyn would be who he’s talking about though, since I don’t think she’s mentioned that Jocelyn was cool at the diner, and Ethan didn’t mention anything he talked about with Jocelyn to Joyce. (he has met at least three of her family members and Becky)

        1. BBCC

          Jocelyne is the only sibling Ethan’s met. It doesn’t make sense for him to mean anyone else.

        2. Axel

          I forgot he mentioned siblings, I was going off the line ‘one reasonable family member’

  8. LS

    I like how Willis makes sure characters don’t follow the same path in this timeline as they did in the Walkyverse.

    For example, now we know that Ethan will never be a standup comedian.

    1. Doctor_Who

      In fairness to the man, OG Ethan was a flop at this age too. It was years of retail hell grinding away his sanity that made him finally cracked enough to succeed in the world of comedy.

      Have him take Becky’s old job under Galasso for a decade or so, and he’ll be making funny pizza (and subs…and Batman) jokes by the end of it.

      1. LookingIn

        he was also a specialist comic, he specialized in toy, Batman, and Transformer jokes…

  9. Schpoonman

    I think I finally found a new gravatar.

    does it even count if it’s almost the same expression

    1. ShinyNeen

      Sure it counts! It’s like an upgrade! Super Disapproving Joyce!

      1. Reltzik

        One’s more of a death glare, and the other more of a death eye-roll.

    2. Sunny

      If it works for butts it must surely work for faces as well.

      1. Schpoonman

        Yeah, but Ana Chronistic once made a Nina Tucker joke and today’s face doesn’t feel quite as punchy as what I would want for that.

  10. Suitora

    For Chrissakes, Ethan, just say “Joshua”. It isn’t disrespectful if she’s still in the closet to her family. This “not saying her name” makes you come off as weird and vague, and Joyce isn’t getting the point at all.

    1. TheFlamingonator

      nyeeh it is still misgendering someone. and i think she might figure it out based jocelyne being the only sibling Ethan has met, who else would he be talking avout?

      1. TheFlamingonator

        based on*

      2. JetstreamGW

        I think you might be giving Joyce a bit more credit than she deserves 😛

      3. thejeff

        It does get awkward to talk about someone too long without using names or pronouns. More importantly, it gets obvious that you’re doing something weird. That in itself can help out someone. It’s a fine line.

    2. ian livs

      Yeah, it’s not really disrespectful, at least not IMO. I’m not out to any of my family as trans, only my spouse and a few of our friends, and they’re *encouraged* to deadname me if they ever come into contact with my family. Ofc I’m just one person and YMMV, but I can draw a lot of parallels between my family/upbringing and Joyce’s, so if I was in Jocelyn’s shoes, I’d probably want people to help keep it secret for the moment.

      1. ian livs

        (Dang it, I know how to spell Jocelyne’s name right, I just type way too fast and my brain can’t keep up)

      2. Emperor Norton II

        On a side note, I don’t know if you’ll want to use this, but Cerberus once came up with the term “zombie name”, for a dead name that you still have to use to people that you’re not out to yet.

        1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          Damn I wish I had known that term when I was still closeted

        2. ShinyNeen

          Ohh, that’s too perfect! Definitely using that for myself, not that I intend to need it for long.

        3. ian livs

          Omg, that’s brilliant. I’ve gotta tell that one to my friends–they’ll love it.

        4. Shay Guy

          I’m a little pleased to have helped prompt the coining of that term.

      3. Some1

        Outing someone against their will is just shoving your personal morality where it doesn’t belong. People who do that shit care more about ideology than the people its supposed to protect.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Yeah, I think outing her like that would be much more disrespectful than using her zombie name.

      4. Felian

        Best solution: ask the person how you should refer to them towards people.
        Common sense solution if you can’t ask: use the name they are known by to the other person. you can try to avoid pronouns or gendered terms.

        Not outing someone against their will comes first. Yes, they suffer from being misgendered, but as long as they feel they would suffer more if they were out to a specific person, it is safer this way.
        Also, for the sake of knowing who you are talking about, you need to use a name the other person knows them by! If Jocelyne were out, you could say “Jocelyne, who you formerly knew as Joshua“. From then on, you only use the right name. But some people change their name several times during their transition, and if you aren’t in touch all the time, it helps when people update you. This is NOT the same as outing someone’s dead name that the other person didn’t even know about! I’d be pretty pissed if someone told my dead name to anyone who didn’t know it against my will.

        … oh my gosh i LOVE the term “zombie name“. or „undead name“ for more similarity. This is so cool 😀 thanks. I am not in the closet anymore, but my official name change isn’t done yet, so with officials i still have to use it, this stupid walking dead name… sometimes i even have to tell it to friends if we have a money transfer to do… which i try to avoid… so my old name is still undead and i hope i get to put a stake through its heart soon…

    3. Keulen

      Yeah, Ethan can tell Joyce which sibling she should talk to without outing Jocelyn.

      1. Leorale

        The one who helped helped you break into a house. That’s the cool one.

        (I don’t think Ethan knows about this, but, from our vantage point.)

    4. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      Kinda seems like the conversation has moved off of Jocelyne at this point, though.

    5. Seregiel

      Pretty sure Joyce got it, but still… siblings are butts

    6. Eve

      He said the one he talked to, and she’s the only sibling of Joyces he’s talked to, so he already has said who.

  11. DailyBrad

    I relate so much to Elliot in those last two panels.

    1. ValdVin

      Did you teleport here from the QC forum? 🙂

      1. Opus the Poet

        Just clicked over, no teleportation required.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *plays John Cougar Mellenkamp’s “Twentieth Century Fox” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Opus the Poet

      Is that a cover of the Doors song?

      1. Stephen Bierce

        Yes, as it turns out.

  13. timemonkey

    I dunno, a month and a half into your first time on your own isn’t what I’d call late to figuring things out.

    1. Reltzik

      How about “nearly two decades in” or “an entire lifetime”?

      1. Leorale

        Not when those 20 yrs have been people consistently and deliberately telling you to believe that’s how the universe works.

        1. Reltzik

          Well from our perspective, no, but from Joyce’s?

  14. BBCC

    …Ethan means well. 😛

    1. Bagge

      He is contributing!

      1. Deathjavu

        The general form of his advice, “go talk to your cool older sibling”, is pretty good advice!

        The jokes need work. Or silencing. Probably silencing.

  15. tim gueguen

    Ethan will not be making his debut as a professional comedian anytime soon.

    Or ever.

  16. ian livs

    It’s dad jokes like these that make me think my gravatar was well-assigned.

  17. Emperor Norton II

    If Bagge’s not loving this comic to death, I don’t even know who they are anymore.

    1. Bagge

      I DO love this comic to death 🙂

      1. Reltzik

        ….

        …. that poor comic.

        1. Bagge

          …I realize I should have asked more followup questions before committing.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          AND THAT WILL BE YOUR UNDOING, FOOL!

      2. Needfuldoer

        Hopefully not in an Emyra Duff manner… Poor thing needs to breathe!

      3. Amazi-Stool

        Killing me softly with his strip!

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Killing me softly, with his puns
          Making my face-slap, with dad jokes
          Killing me sooftly… with his stri-i-p

  18. Bagge

    If anything, Joyce is downplaying it in the first panel.

    After all, everything she’s ever known, everything she’s been taught might be a… a goddamned lie.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/originalsin/

  19. ShinyNeen

    Oof. Man, that feeling of being behind other people around you, maybe even that there’s stuff you’ll never figure out… crap, I can relate to that.

    Ethan’s response is pretty appropriate, though. Even if he is using dad jokes with reckless abandon!

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      She’s young and at her rate she’s already pieced together what most couldn’t even fathom. But I guess that doesn’t really matter, in the end despite what we all know and how much we learn as we get older in the grand scheme of it all we know nothing.

  20. tirachokko

    lmao tfw you realize what a strange bullet (the dad jokes) you’ve accidentally dodged with this one eh

  21. Deathjavu

    But Joyce, finding out the universe isn’t the way you thought is entirely self-discovery. The universe hasn’t changed, just you.

    And really, cut yourself some slack, Joyce. Most people go their whole lives without even questioning any of their most important beliefs, let alone changing them. You get a bajillion points in my book for even being willing to question, let alone change. That’s a rare, rare skill…

    1. C.T Phipps

      The universe has always had a structure to it, though. What that structure means and what truths to pull from it are the quest. Mind you, I’ve spent much of my life with theoretical physicists in hopes of getting a proper religious set of beliefs (if religion is wrong, make it right) so I offend both sides. 🙂

  22. insomniac

    Today, we are all Joyce.

    1. Reltzik

      I am also Ethan.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        I thought we were Spartacus.

        1. Bagge

          I’m not.

        2. Marsh Maryrose

          I can tell you this: I am not a number.

        3. Clif

          You are, number 6.

        4. thejeff

          Who is number 1?

        5. Emperor Norton II

          As if you’d even have to ask…

          My spiritual predecessor, of course.

  23. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

    I’m a sucker for dad jokes! But Ethan, you definitely need to work on your timing.

  24. foducool

    lower those eyebrows, Milhouse.
    the other one too

  25. Josh Spicer

    HA!

    Ethan my man bustin out the solid wordplay.

  26. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Has Ethan considered attacking this from the other end? Emailing Jocelyne “Joyce is having a hard time now, maybe you could give her a call?”

    Or is that just a different betrayal?

    1. Bagge

      He might have done – I’m sure we will find out.

      But given that he has learnt how to approach sensitive topics from AMBER and her family, where you are always just one world away from a crisis or an evil dad, I think he plays it safe.

  27. Batz

    “HAHAHAH!! Thanks for making me laugh!
    Man, that tiny bit of laughter at that tiny bit of a joke just solves all my problems and makes me utterly forget how crappy reality is!”
    – Said no one in the midst of an existential crisis of faith EVER.

    …. he means well.

    1. poofdepoof

      …I feel like I’ve actually enjoyed and appreciated little jokes when I’m feeling really down. To each their own!

      1. Kamino Neko

        Same. It really helps block spiralling.

        1. erejnion

          Humor is the primary tool we use for coping with whatever’s going on in our lives.

          This doesn’t make the dad joke better, but it probably did help, even if just a little.

  28. abysswatcher1993

    When your gay ex-boyfriend tries to sheer you up when you discover god may not be real and you try to avoid becoming a Nier Automata character.

  29. newllend(henryvolt)

    I don’t really think it makes Joyce unobservant but more just young yet ahead of the curb. She’s taking her new found skepticism and being bold enough ask questions where most go their entire lives without willingly considering.

    1. C.T Phipps

      It’s probably not where Willis is going but I do hope she finds a faith that fulfills her and gives her a sense of belonging in the universe.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Pastafarianism is the logical choice, then.

  30. BenRG

    Joyce, just because you’re in Sal’s aesthetic doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be snarky to everyone. Even if Ethan really, really deserves it at this point.

  31. Eldritch Gentleman

    Get this man a husband and a bunch of kids, he is Ready!

  32. ScarvesandCelery

    Okay, sudden thought.

    Does Joyce think Ethan means Jocelyne, or the other sibling her family doesn’t talk to any more (I can’t remember his name)? Like, I feel like the story is probably moving towards Joyce and Jocelyne finally talking completely openly to each other, but I can also see it taking a left turn and finally letting us know what the deal is with Joyce’s third sibling.

    1. Peter

      Jordan is who you’re thinking of. There’s some fan debate as to what it was that made Jordan the black sheep of the family. I lean to the “left the church” opinion, which would make him perfect for discussing a crisis of faith with.

      But honestly, I think Ethan means Jocelyn. Not in the sense that he wants Jocelyn to out herself to Joyce, but in the sense that Jocelyn is the most likely person to be empathetic to Joyce’s crisis, seen from Ethan’s point of view.

      1. huttj509

        “ok, dangit, you both need sibling hugs, evben if you’re not each sure why the other needs sibling hugs.”

    2. Kamino Neko

      Ethan’s never met Jordan, and we’ve no evidence either Joss or Joyce has shared anything about him beyond ‘exists and not on good terms with the rest of the family’ with him.

    3. Eve

      He did mention the one he met, which is Jocelyn, he hasn’t met Jordan.

  33. Zaxares

    Ethan’s face in panel 5 is almost sweet enough to turn me gay for him. 😉

  34. tbf

    I’m getting a Walkyverse Joe vibe off of Ethan with the color palette and finger guns.

  35. DarkoNeko

    Nice one, Ethan

  36. Vulcanodon

    It’s not a race, Joyce.

  37. JBento

    Eh? Eehhhh?

  38. TheFlamingonator

    I want to be Joyce but really I’m Ethan.

  39. wakeangel2001

    I’d say she can take solace in the fact that she had been lied to her entire life, so realizing this stuff only now isn’t totally her fault, but then that means everyone she knew, loved, and trusted are liars and I don’t think that would make her feel better…I mean, is it better than thinking you’re that much of an idiot?

    1. thejeff

      It’s truer.
      And that has to count for something.

    2. erejnion

      Nope. It would make her family unobservant and laughable, not liars. And yes, that’s better than she herself being unobservant and laughable. Everyone’s parents are unobservant and laughable. Usually about smaller things, like internet savviness, but still.

  40. Bunnygurl

    Nevermind, guess we aren’t getting Jocelyn… sadness

  41. Clif

    Ethan, you are wearing an outer garment with which you can be strangled.

  42. RaulTsi

    grrrr, not able to see today’s strip again. what the frig is going on with that? This is really cheesing me off.

  43. TrueVCU

    I feel like in the last panel the sign next to Ethan’s head should’ve turned from “Desk” to “Dork”

  44. erejnion

    What? Fuck no! She was brought up in an ultra-christian family, and she needed what, one month? Less? To break free from the conditioning. That’s the opposite of “unobservant” and “laughable”.

    1. Bunnygurl

      Iknorite? TOok me YEARS and I’m STILL having trouble breaking all the habbits x.x

    2. Bagge

      Joyce is awesome.

    3. Schpoonman

      It’s been 8-ish weeks, about two months.

      1. erejnion

        That much? Wow. Joyce is getting old. With that pace she may get stray grey hairs before I die!

      2. BBCC

        More like a month and a half. It’s roughly the middle of October right now.

        1. erejnion

          Sorry, I don’t have a smarmy quip for your clarification too. You’ll have to be satisfied with just my gratitude.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          It’s roughly the middle of YOUR FACE right now.

          (Look, you didn’t exactly make it easy to come up with a properly smarmy quip, and it’s also late; so this is the best you’ll get, OK?)

  45. PB

    You tried! 😀

  46. Charlotte

    God, I hope Joyce does talk to Jocelyne!

  47. Pidgey

    In this moment I think Joyce needs a similar realisation that I had during undergrad. She is so incredibly young. She’s done pretty well for her first time out in the real world

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