We don’t need Mike to be decent. We need him to be savage.
Needfuldoer
And out of melee range.
dralou
Yeah. I… actually don’t want to see (or hear, or read) that the lil’ mofo had his head crushed by a hammer. I don’t like Mike, but not to the point of feeling glee at the idea of him suffering severe trauma.
BBCC
Same. Joyce kicking him in the shins? All day, bring it on. Blaine killing him with a hammer? No thank you.
Zellgato
Historically….. the creator tends to have one large tragic death per “version” of his universes.
Mike would fit the bill, as would this situation, given the past versions. (walky-first half, Its walky (second half), Shortpacked-though i don’t remember who if anyone in that one but I thought there was, etc)
I was thinking that something like this would happen to Mike, Danny or possibly Sal. THos were my guesses from a year or so ago for the “death” that I assume would occur at some point.
Dumbiverse Mike tends to be more eloquent in his speech habits when it comes to his long term planning. If he is recording this somehow, it would make sense for him not to say anything along the lines of him getting violent even if to defend himself. Makes the case against Blaine even more incriminating if he tells the cops that he was trying to buy time by talking till they arrived. Assuming that he has contacted them somehow.
He has to be recording. He identifies Blaine by first and last name without being too blatant about it, identifies Blaine’s distinctive nose-splint, identifies the weapon…
madock345
Identifies that he’s with someone with a notable mustache
vitalProximity
OMG you’re both right. Points out Blaine’s nose-splint, too, also an easy visual identifier if he makes a break for it. And verbally identifies both the weapon and what it appears he’s going to do with it – i.e., notes that there is a visually implied threat, even if Blaine chickens out or messes up. (Isn’t threatening something with a deadly weapon also a crime, even without actually assaulting them? I can’t remember.) I suspect Mike’s got his phone in his pocket, 911 still on the line, call on speakerphone with volume turned off, so they can hear everything as it’s happening but Blaine can’t hear if they say something back.
Good catch guys, can’t believe I didn’t catch that. Mike is… like ACTUALLY hella smooth. Smh.
vitalProximity
Although honestly, the weird “mustache” fumble should have tipped me off. It did trip me up for a second – it’s not an obvious verbal mistake to make on accident, and there was no obvious pun or insult I could spot, and I wasn’t sure what was up with it when I read it. That’s probably the only really weird thing. If Blaine didn’t have his head so far up his own ass singing his own praises in there, he might have noticed Mike’s one weird little slip-up. Buuuut… nope.
LeslieBean4shizzle
Sure – but that doesn’t mean that Mike isn’t looking for some catharsis via physical pain. His plan might to get his ass beaten on camera (or other recording device) to get Blaine arrested.
I like the way you think!
Live streaming/upload would perhaps be even better? (Though Mike could probably outrun those goons.)
There are some apps who do that automatically with video in case the phone gets confiscated or destroyed, e.g. when documenting police violence. The human rights org WITNESS has written a few guides on the topic: https://www.witness.org/caught-camera-live-streaming-video-police-violence-u-s/
(Some info might be out of date. Always check things work as expected before relying on them.)
Mollyscribbles
Livestreaming would be good, and because the timeline constantly updates there’d be a legit possibility for his phone to be capable of it.
I can’t see Mike’s hands. Is he recording this, or connected to someone off-site who is recording this for later release if something happens to Mike, Amber, or Becky? That seems something Very Mike to do.
Or “Nail It To The Wall”, or anything by MC Hammer. Or Jan Hammer.
Miri
Doob Doob Doob Doob
Can’t touch this
HOW did you drop that earworm in so effectively??
Doom Shepherd
“Hammer to Fall” by Queen could be a fit.
Chris Phoenix
Maxwell’s Silver Hammer
KaiserKris
Alas, it’s not a Square Hammer, though.
RicardtheDragoon
As much as I like Ghost, I can’t help but think HammerFall would be a better fit, especially “Let the Hammer Fall” which is disturbingly appropriate to this situation from the point of view of Blaine.
By topic, Any Means Necessary could apply in spirit to Mike.
… I would love to see Ross react to that song. Or most of Ghost’s discography, really, but that one or He Is just feel like they’d get him riled more.
KaiserKris
Ghost has definitely got a few protests from right-wing evangelicals, but in general, rock music just doesn’t scare people the way it used to. Ghost is one of the very biggest new rock/metal bands around, but they *might* have sold about 200K copies of their latest album. Most people don’t even know they exist.
Being a 90s kid, I do clearly remember the absolute panic that Marilyn Manson caused. I don’t think any musician has inspired that much fear and hatred since, and certainly not guitar music.
Ross, of course, would fear and revile probably all popular music, regardless of genre.
Rock in general is a different thing than Ghost’s specifically Satanic-themed material. They had trouble recording Meliora, since they (inexplicably) decided to record in the US and thus finding both a studio willing to let them record and a choir willing to do the choral parts was harder than it should have been.
Bicycle Bill
KaiserKris — Blaine is not worthy to wield Mjölnir.
Oh — you’re talking about a DIFFERENT Square Hammer.
KaiserKris
If you’re not familiar with the song Square Hammer, by Ghost, you should check it out if you have any fondness for guitar music at all. It’s really one of the very best rock singles of the decade.
Oh, that might where Hammerfall – sorry, “HammerFall”… ? -took their name from? Anyway:
I Am Downright Amazed at What I Can Destroy With Just a Hammer.
Hammer Smashed Face.
RicardtheDragoon
Clearly, I take too long to write comments because this post definitely didn’t exist when I started writing.
Side note, I can’t find anything on Wikipedia to validate that opinion besides the difference in release dates, nor can I find any additional support in a cursory Google search.
Discussion (237) - “Splint”
Ana Chronistic
“How about Tick-Licker?”
“Not as funny, go ahead”
LeslieBean4shizzle
… I now have “Tick-Licker” in my google search history because I had to know what the fuck that was.
I will not say what I found, so others must google it as well.
Jamie
It was for this purpose that incognito mode exists.
Sunny
Also search engines like Ixquick or DuckDuckGo.
MasakiSayz
I don’t know what I was expecting it to be, but I was surprised.
auroki
Hehe the good ol Tick Licker. My dad has one of those
Suet
hehehe ball-peen
DAMMIT
Yet_One_More_Idiot
I think if I was Blaine, I would’ve gone with a claw hammer. Or perhaps the classic lump hammer? Or really go for it with a sledgehammer??
Suet
I would also accept gavels and croquet mallets since all Blaine wants to do is blunt force injury
*slowly plays the flute solo of Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer coz I know Blaine cannot swing one one-handedly*
BarerMender
I’m thinking a single jack.
Geneseepaws
And yet… Thor wields a hammer with one hand with grace and authority. Blain must use two hands? And please, call it a machinists hammer.
Deanatay
Oh, Willis. You missed out.
The name of this comic could have been ‘Ball-Peen’. I mean, when is THAT going to come up again?
*Deanatay says, knowing they’ll regret it later*
Nono
Blaine’s plan is to… bash Amazi-Girl’s head in? I expected something more eloquent, but hey, maybe he’s trying to emulate the Korean mob.
ValdVin
I think he plans to have Mike meet with an accident here.
Whatevsman
Dude recruited toe-dad for his assholery. I don’t think Blaine has an “eloquent” setting
Reltzik
He does, actually. It’s pretending to be a bigoted hate-Christian.
…. look, fella, if you have to make a low bar into your A-game, please make it one that isn’t in the fifth sub-basement.
Wizard
For Blaine, it’s not so much “lowering the bar” as “digging a deep hole and throwing the bar into it”.
Zellgato
Pretty sure his plan was along those lines.. but blaming the other dad.
BBCC
Mike this literally the one target your asshole powers are a good fit for – Total Fuckwad, Inc.
Regalli
I mean, yes, but also we saw it backfire last time he tried on Blaine. Hopefully he’s leveled up since then? C’mon, Mike. Be decent.
Jon Rich
We don’t need Mike to be decent. We need him to be savage.
Needfuldoer
And out of melee range.
dralou
Yeah. I… actually don’t want to see (or hear, or read) that the lil’ mofo had his head crushed by a hammer. I don’t like Mike, but not to the point of feeling glee at the idea of him suffering severe trauma.
BBCC
Same. Joyce kicking him in the shins? All day, bring it on. Blaine killing him with a hammer? No thank you.
Zellgato
Historically….. the creator tends to have one large tragic death per “version” of his universes.
Mike would fit the bill, as would this situation, given the past versions. (walky-first half, Its walky (second half), Shortpacked-though i don’t remember who if anyone in that one but I thought there was, etc)
I was thinking that something like this would happen to Mike, Danny or possibly Sal. THos were my guesses from a year or so ago for the “death” that I assume would occur at some point.
Deadjolras
Where was he keeping that hammer?
Alfie
Back pocket probably
Andy
Is that a hammer in his pocket, or is he just happy to see Mike?
Suitora
Hammerspace, duh.
Meagan
*stoner hippie voice* We’re on the same wavelength man
tim gueguen
“Blaine no baka!” shouted the short haired girl as she swung her giant glowing hammer, sending him skyward.
Meagan
Hammerspace, of course. Which maybe you meant to imply?
pdp15
The second strip from this archive is the classic reference (for me anyway):
https://tinyurl.com/tulq462
CJ
Or http://egscomics.com/comic/2003-04-29 .
Joe Moose
Narbonic! Sweet!
znk
this, but with balls/buttcheeks/…? ?
https://tenor.com/view/anime-bazooka-boobs-gif-5525272
LeslieBean4shizzle
.. I would feel more comfortable about this if Mike had said “try” there.
He sounds kinda fatalistic at the moment. And considering his current state of mind, that likely isn’t a good thing.
auroki
Dumbiverse Mike tends to be more eloquent in his speech habits when it comes to his long term planning. If he is recording this somehow, it would make sense for him not to say anything along the lines of him getting violent even if to defend himself. Makes the case against Blaine even more incriminating if he tells the cops that he was trying to buy time by talking till they arrived. Assuming that he has contacted them somehow.
DT
He has to be recording. He identifies Blaine by first and last name without being too blatant about it, identifies Blaine’s distinctive nose-splint, identifies the weapon…
madock345
Identifies that he’s with someone with a notable mustache
vitalProximity
OMG you’re both right. Points out Blaine’s nose-splint, too, also an easy visual identifier if he makes a break for it. And verbally identifies both the weapon and what it appears he’s going to do with it – i.e., notes that there is a visually implied threat, even if Blaine chickens out or messes up. (Isn’t threatening something with a deadly weapon also a crime, even without actually assaulting them? I can’t remember.) I suspect Mike’s got his phone in his pocket, 911 still on the line, call on speakerphone with volume turned off, so they can hear everything as it’s happening but Blaine can’t hear if they say something back.
Good catch guys, can’t believe I didn’t catch that. Mike is… like ACTUALLY hella smooth. Smh.
vitalProximity
Although honestly, the weird “mustache” fumble should have tipped me off. It did trip me up for a second – it’s not an obvious verbal mistake to make on accident, and there was no obvious pun or insult I could spot, and I wasn’t sure what was up with it when I read it. That’s probably the only really weird thing. If Blaine didn’t have his head so far up his own ass singing his own praises in there, he might have noticed Mike’s one weird little slip-up. Buuuut… nope.
LeslieBean4shizzle
Sure – but that doesn’t mean that Mike isn’t looking for some catharsis via physical pain. His plan might to get his ass beaten on camera (or other recording device) to get Blaine arrested.
znk
I like the way you think!
Live streaming/upload would perhaps be even better? (Though Mike could probably outrun those goons.)
There are some apps who do that automatically with video in case the phone gets confiscated or destroyed, e.g. when documenting police violence. The human rights org WITNESS has written a few guides on the topic:
https://www.witness.org/caught-camera-live-streaming-video-police-violence-u-s/
(Some info might be out of date. Always check things work as expected before relying on them.)
Mollyscribbles
Livestreaming would be good, and because the timeline constantly updates there’d be a legit possibility for his phone to be capable of it.
CC
I’m just glad we have a Word of God that no one’s going to die tbh
madock345
It’s Mike though. Does it count as dying if it was never a person? /s
I love Mike so much please don’t hurt him.
vitalProximity
*phew* You had me going there for a second bro D:
Doctor_Who
I always just kinda figured that Mike’s hair was a super hard shell or something.
And not just because it looks like he spraypainted Jasper’s helmet yellow.
Opus the Poet
I can’t see Mike’s hands. Is he recording this, or connected to someone off-site who is recording this for later release if something happens to Mike, Amber, or Becky? That seems something Very Mike to do.
Hugo Bedward
Maybe he saw Ross hiding there earlier and set up a phone grip to be recording them
Stephen Bierce
*plays Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “Karn Evil” on the hacked outdoors speakers*
Stephen Bierce
We have thrills and shocks
Supersonic fighting cocks
Leave your hammers in the box
Move along, move along
Geneseepaws
Stephen has +3 of filk composing, he filked, it was epic.
ValdVin
I applaud you for not going with the obvious “If I had a Hammer”.
Stephen Bierce
Or “Nail It To The Wall”, or anything by MC Hammer. Or Jan Hammer.
Miri
Doob Doob Doob Doob
Can’t touch this
HOW did you drop that earworm in so effectively??
Doom Shepherd
“Hammer to Fall” by Queen could be a fit.
Chris Phoenix
Maxwell’s Silver Hammer
KaiserKris
Alas, it’s not a Square Hammer, though.
RicardtheDragoon
As much as I like Ghost, I can’t help but think HammerFall would be a better fit, especially “Let the Hammer Fall” which is disturbingly appropriate to this situation from the point of view of Blaine.
By topic, Any Means Necessary could apply in spirit to Mike.
Kamino Neko
… I would love to see Ross react to that song. Or most of Ghost’s discography, really, but that one or He Is just feel like they’d get him riled more.
KaiserKris
Ghost has definitely got a few protests from right-wing evangelicals, but in general, rock music just doesn’t scare people the way it used to. Ghost is one of the very biggest new rock/metal bands around, but they *might* have sold about 200K copies of their latest album. Most people don’t even know they exist.
Being a 90s kid, I do clearly remember the absolute panic that Marilyn Manson caused. I don’t think any musician has inspired that much fear and hatred since, and certainly not guitar music.
Ross, of course, would fear and revile probably all popular music, regardless of genre.
Kamino Neko
Rock in general is a different thing than Ghost’s specifically Satanic-themed material. They had trouble recording Meliora, since they (inexplicably) decided to record in the US and thus finding both a studio willing to let them record and a choir willing to do the choral parts was harder than it should have been.
Bicycle Bill
KaiserKris — Blaine is not worthy to wield Mjölnir.
Oh — you’re talking about a DIFFERENT Square Hammer.
KaiserKris
If you’re not familiar with the song Square Hammer, by Ghost, you should check it out if you have any fondness for guitar music at all. It’s really one of the very best rock singles of the decade.
znk
Oh, that might where Hammerfall – sorry, “HammerFall”… ? -took their name from? Anyway:
I Am Downright Amazed at What I Can Destroy With Just a Hammer.
Hammer Smashed Face.
RicardtheDragoon
Clearly, I take too long to write comments because this post definitely didn’t exist when I started writing.
Side note, I can’t find anything on Wikipedia to validate that opinion besides the difference in release dates, nor can I find any additional support in a cursory Google search.
ValdVin
Not a word from Toe Dad yet.
I mean, we always knew Blaine was the (comparative) brains of the outfit.
Doctor_Who
“What are we gonna do tonight, Blaine?”
“Same thing we do every night, Pinky-Toe. Try to take over the lives of two teenage girls!”