99

Headcount
Posted on March 22, 2020 by David M Willis

99 thoughts on “Headcount”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    MYSTERY SOLVED MIKE DIAF

    1. Kyoulkoa

      Problem solved

    2. Walky_Talky

      Destroyed It And Fled? Dastardly Ingenious At Fellatio? Dookied In A Firetruck? Drowns Iguanas After Fapping?

      1. Kaidah

        Did an Indianan’s Abuela For-a-nickel ?

      2. Needfuldoer

        Leave Fuckface out of this!

  2. Stephen Bierce

    Say I’m crying
    I’m looking at what’s on TV
    Pain and suffering
    And the struggle to be free
    It can’t ever be denied
    And I never will ignore
    But when I see you coming
    I can take it all
    You’re so fine
    Lose my mind
    And the world seems to Disappear
    All the problems
    All the fears
    And the world seems to Disappear    –INXS

  3. Nono

    Odds on Joyce and co. rushing over to Becky’s?

    1. Agemegos

      Seems like a leap in the dark. What do they know now that they didn’t a bedtime that points towards Becky’s?

      1. Agemegos

        “at bedtime”, that is.

  4. AntJ

    Seven strips in, and the Sustained Sense of Danger begins. 92 strips to go.

  5. Vangeln

    All of them are joggin, yeah Amber and Mike too. Letś go back to sleep.

    1. clif

      Sounds good.

  6. Kravis

    Amber just did “The Batman”.

    1. Bryy

      Amber’s eyes in panel one are not fun.

  7. Doctor_Who

    Ethan, you turned your back on Amber. The Commissioner Gordon Rule clearly stipulates that she has to be gone when you look back.

    One day Gordon’s gonna install a mirror on the roof of police headquarters, just so he can turn away and watch Batman awkwardly tiptoe off.

  8. bejouled

    So is “Mike” not showing up in the Amber comics anymore, now that she hallucinated him?

    1. bejouled

      Like is his name not hidden anymore

    2. Felix

      Mike Who?

    3. Kinoko

      He’s tagged in them, if that’s what you mean. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  9. He Who Abides

    Don’t lie, Walky. You weren’t hoping to see Mike anywhere.

    1. Reltzik

      I mean, which would you be more comfortable with? Being able to see Mike and know what he’s getting up to, or not?

  10. Bryy

    Welp. STRAP IN, EVERYONE.

  11. Sirksome

    Mike’s been dead for like three weeks and these guys are just now noticing he’s gone? His body’s probably already decomposed! They all deserve whatever bad thing happens to them!

    1. BBCC

      No. No he has not. Assuming he did die, it was the day before yesterday. Not even. It was after midnight he died, so it was literally yesterday. One night not home now come to two.

      1. Sirksome

        I know. I was joking because it’s been a few weeks for us the readers since his fall. I’m not sure exactly how long but it’s been a bit of time. But yes’ to them it’s only been a day, so it’s believable they wouldn’t notice till now.

        1. BBCC

          Oh. My bad, I’m not always great at telling jokes online.

        2. Sirksome

          It’s fine. Conveying humor through text is hard and a skill I have yet to master.

        3. Geneseepaws

          It can be mastered? Inconceivable!

        4. Deanatay

          Clearly, you must work harder.

        5. BBCC

          I haven’t either so you’re definitely not alone on that.

    2. Agemegos

      Mike’s not dead. He’s holding the evil dads in durance at the bottom of a dry well in the basement of an abandoned house, and forcing them to rub lotion on each other by threatening them with a hose. He’s doing it for Ambi-Girl, for a nickel. And he is wearing a latex fetish suit.

      1. clif

        But since it’s been an entire day, he’s running out of lotion.

        1. Agemegos

          Soon he will have to throw the shiv, the nickel, and the half-eaten pepperoni into the pit.

  12. abysswatcher1993

    Just 2 seconds and Amazi -Girl took control of Amber’s body. That is scary.

    Also, where are the girls now?

    1. clif

      I’m here.

    2. BarerMender

      They’ve been kidnapped! Just like that! Gone in a glance!

    3. Cass

      Or she ran back in to get her phone.

    4. Jhon

      Dorothy went jogging, as was her original intention.
      Joyce saw a chance for pal time with Dorothy.
      Sarah went along with her little sis.
      Nothing bad going on here.

      1. clif

        Walky and Ethan clearly believe Amber went back in to get her phone.

  13. BBCC

    Ohhhh the girls disappearing has me worried.

    Please just be going to get Amber’s phone or going to see Becky.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Cue the Charlie’s Angels theme.

    2. Deanatay

      Wait, who’s missing now? We were talking about someone being missing, and then a bunch of other names were thrown around, and then…

      Hey, was this comic always about beautifully drawn IU landscapes and buildings?

      1. clif

        Well yes, but the plot and characters and stuff was supposed to distract you so you wouldn’t realize it.

      2. BBCC

        It must have been, because the lighting is stunning.

  14. Chaucer59

    I think we’re talking two nights in-comic time.

    1. Rotunda

      A little over 24 hours. Mike fell after midnight Tuesday morning, and this is early Wednesday morning. See https://walkypedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dumbing_of_Age_Timeline

      1. clif

        Nightguy is clearly a night, but I’m not sure about Ethan.

  15. DailyBrad

    I’d hang out with Carla, she’s a hoot.

    1. clif

      And a half

    2. Ray Radlein

      Pretty sure that means she’s wouldn’t want to hang out with you, alas

    3. Geneseepaws

      She’s got better lines than Mike does. Wait, I think his name was Mike.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Anyway, I saw him down at the Walmart, he had a cart full or toilet paper and half gallon jugs of ? Hand lotion? It said hand lotion on the label, so I guess it was.?

    4. Deanatay

      Dat microbatch Carla experience

      1. Needfuldoer

        Eh, it seems like everyone’s making some microbatch artisanal Carla or another these days.

  16. clif

    DOA 10: You Haven’t Seen Mike?

    1. Keulen

      That’s pretty close to the question half of the comment section has been asking for weeks now.

      1. StClair

        And I am pretty thoroughly tired of it, especially since it was obvious to me in the first week that Willis wouldn’t tell us until he was damn good and ready. Why you all gotta feed the troll?

        1. clif

          Think of it as an artisanally crafted experience.

        2. StClair

          Page after page of breathless speculation and wondering what happens next, as if – like your favorite wrestling and/or “reality” show – all of this wasn’t pre-scripted literally weeks in advance. Do you all truly have nothing better to do with your time?

          Seriously thinking about taking a break for a month. This plot still won’t be over, but at least it will have progressed, and you’ll have something else to talk about. Probably.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Sorry for being invested. /s

        4. Joyfulldreams

          Are you…seriously complaining about people in the comment section of a webcomic. Discussing and speculating about the webcomic???

          What a bizarre thing to be annoyed by.

        5. StClair

          I don’t consider day after day, week after week, of “OMG, what happened to Mike? Is Mike dead? When will we find out if he’s dead? Why haven’t we found out yet?” to be “discussion”. But then, I guess I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Cerberus, who actually had things to say about the comic and wasn’t just filling time until something was revealed/resolved.

          We will find out what happened to Mike when we are told/shown, whenever that is. That, IMO, is all that needs to be said. Find a new damn topic and quit filling space and time with meaningless noise.

        6. StClair

          … or don’t, and keep on doing what the new Slipshine ad suggests. ‘Cause that’s what all of this is.

        7. Agemegos

          Harmless self-pleasure?

  17. Sirksome

    If Amber went all Amazi that seems like a really bad thing here since she’s sleep deprived. I don’t know anything about disassociation but I don’t think it negates the brain or body’s need for rest. So this is just a bomb ready to go off at anytime really.

    1. Sam

      I think it depends kind of like how some people sleepwalk and still wake up refreshed while others wake up feeling like a train ran them over.

  18. Agemegos

    No, Walky, I don’t know what you mean.

    1. Pat

      He means Mike flaps both wings.

      1. clif

        I … never heard that one before.

  19. Agemegos

    Ought not the men’s wing RA to be counting Mike’s heads?

    1. clif

      The men’s wing RA has been missing the entire semester and no one has noticed till now.

      1. Ray Radlein

        Turns out Mike was secretly the men’s wing RA all along

      2. He Who Abides

        Trek marathon was on.

  20. clif

    The world needs more artisanally crafted experiences.

    1. Deanatay

      Carla’s a microbatch.

  21. Rikunda

    Did she go back in for her phone or… Did she have a microsleep and cause her personality to shift?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

    1. Agemegos

      Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!

  22. Proto

    “If he isn’t with the boys, he’s over with the girls, if you know what I mean.”

    I… don’t? Is it referring to Mike being bi? I feel like an idiot here, someone help me.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Walky is referring to. One explanation for Mike not sleeping in the boys’ wing is that he might have been in the girls’ wing. Being Walky, he has to make it into a wink-wink-nudge-nudge comment.

      1. Agemegos

        Or he could have been with a lover in a different dorm, or off campus….

        Not every man whom Mike might sleep over with would be on Walky’s floor of Walky’s wing of Walky’s dorm.

        1. Kinoko

          This may be based on observed behavior. As Mike’s room-mate, Walky would have noticed if that was a common pattern.

    2. hof1991

      Your mom doesn’t live in the dorm, so he’s elsewhere tonight. Gathering nickels.

  23. Keulen

    So Amber Batmanned away, and apparently Joyce, Sarah, and Dorothy went somewhere too. I’m worried about what might have made them all leave.

  24. TheFlamingonator

    the Skedaddlin Squad had vanished!

  25. Bagge

    Carla is helping

    1. Wizard

      It’s a public service on her part. It would be tragic if anyone were unaware that they were being blessed by her magnificent presence.

  26. L!ghtn!ng

    Looming sense of foreboding escalates!

  27. DarkoNeko

    addressing the elephant in the room I see.

    1. clif

      Hello Mr.Elephant?

      It’s marginally better than addressing the elephant you can’t see.

  28. Rabisch

    What the…..?

  29. Hilzabub

    I’m sure Joyce and Amber disappearing is perfectly innocent. I mean there aren’t any people who could wish them any harm.

    1. thejeff

      I don’t really see how the evil Dads could snatch them right out of the crowd without anyone noticing.

    2. Needfuldoer

      And Amber forgetting her phone is an innocent mistake and not at all a Chekhov’s Gun.

  30. hof1991

    The fire alarm is looking less like an innocent prank and more like something seriously nefarious. And Amazing-Girl is on the job. Forgot their phone. Did she remember her costume?

    1. Agemegos

      Good question!

      “Amazi-Girl rescues iguana! Text at eleven!”

  31. Zee

    HM.

  32. Alaric

    Psst- Ruth! Ask Dina! Like a lot of people who are often labeled as “introverts”, she’s an observer! She may well have seen what happened to them. (Just look at her looking around at everyone a couple of strips ago.)

  33. Opus the Poet

    Didn’t anyone notice Dina’s dinosaur head pajama pants?

  34. Alaric

    Obviously, the DoA cast members are being snatched away one by one by the nefarious Collector! But don’t worry- Ruth, Walky, Dina, and Ethan will track them down. (And most likely I’m the only one hear whose read that story, let alone when it first came out…)

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