281

Glasses
Posted on November 18, 2015 by David M Willis

281 thoughts on “Glasses”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    is Amber about to slam into a Carla now

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Next time, on Slipshine…

      1. Ana Chronistic

        they’ll be slippin’ on shiny Amber blood if she doesn’t get patched up =p

        1. TheTJ

          Eh, it’s all just more human liquids to Ultraca- I mean Carla.

        2. CriCriCri

          Next comic strip: “I’m amazi-girl” …. “oh yeah? Well I’m ultra-car!” *ambers shows the costume* “I’m serious” *carla slams a pie on her face* “ditto”

        3. fizzywafflezsuperstore

          I now declare that this needs to happen

        4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Hey, you’re the one who said that Amber would slam into Carla. I just took it to the dirtiest extreme possible. You’re welcome.

  2. AnvilPro

    She knows too much

  3. DarkoNeko

    Suspisciouuuuus.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Wait, her left arm is damaged too >_<

    2. DarkVeghetta

      Word.

    3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      Very suspicious; she’s bleeding on her

      FAAAAAAACE

      Sorry, I can’t control that. xD

  4. Masaru

    I wonder how much serious damage she may have that she’s attempting to hide…

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Yeah, we might be seeing another hospitalization here – It would be an excellent DYW to pyche than gutpunch while our guard was down.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        DYW?

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Nevermind, I got it.
          Just after clicking ‘post.’

        2. Ana Chronistic

          Do You Want??

          (j/k it’s Danny Yankovik Wilcox)

        3. Historyman68

          “Weird Dan” “Yankovik” Wilcox

        4. Disloyal Subject

          That was one of half a dozen guesses before I remembered the acronym.

        5. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Well, he did say he wanted to be known as DJ…

        6. Ana Chronistic

          DJ Polka

    2. Maven

      It’s hard to tell… Amber’s eyes always look a little dilated, so how can we say if a concussion is likely?

    3. Noah

      That makes me wonder if she could be hiding a broken bone of some kind. Could it be possible to do that?

  5. TheTJ

    You’d think Amber woulda heard the skates on bathroom tile…

  6. Androiddreams

    carlas so pretty
    gives me a facebleed

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      That is exactly how Amber should play this. **serious head nod**

      1. Cerberus

        Amber: Se~npai…

        Carla: Yeah, that’s not how anime nosebleeds work.

      2. ninja_jesus

        More like a serious head wound, amirite?

  7. Sam

    Amber you dork, that isn’t how you sit on glasses.

    1. Ari

      Such a nerd, can’t even sit on glasses properly.

  8. Mr. Mendo

    I can’t leave video games! I love them! #NerdAbuse

    1. Mr. Mendo

      Seriously, though, I wonder exactly how Amber wants to spin this? I can’t picture that many nerdy interests leave you slapped around. She may just be reaching by this point…

      1. Carriethedragon

        I think she’s trying to play it off as a nerdy-physical-ineptitude/clumsiness thing.

      2. Betty Anne

        She could have “fallen down the stairs” and leave it at that. Pretty sure her whole floor heard about the incident with Blaine, and most girls in college learn pretty quickly from fliers around campus that abused women end up back in abusive relationships, whether they go back to their abuser or not.

        With any luck, though Carla will know not to ask questions Amber doesn’t feel ready to talk about yet, but will still get her patched up. She can even offer to say she tripped on the fountain or fell off a stair railing or something. (Believe me, these things happen on a college campus more often than a person would think; we had a kid who was a regular on a dorm roof, and another who more than once climbed in/out of his fourth-floor window rather than using the door.)

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Hmmmm… I wonder what would happen if Sal and co got it into their mind that Danny was abusive… that might end… interestingly.

        2. TOD

          But Danny isn’t dating Amber they’re just friends, remember?

  9. motorfirebox

    GOD Amber, try not being such a KLUTZ. What are you gonna do if you’re on the roof of a car someday, and the car’s tires are blown out and it’s skidding towards a speeding semi? Huh?

    1. Ana Chronistic

      get clotheslined by a biker?

      1. motorfirebox

        But what are the chances

        1. Ana Chronistic

          approximately three thousand, seven hundred twenty to one?

        2. Someone

          Never tell me the odds!

        3. StClair

          Never tell me the–

          uh… something a nerd would say.

  10. Cerberus

    Personal headcanon:

    Carla: Uh huh, yeah, typical nerd pursuits that leave you with unfocused eyes and a blood trail down your scalp… Listen, let me get you stitched up or over to a hospital and I won’t ask you who did this.
    Amber: Aren’t you supposed to be an asshole?
    Carla: Easier to be seen as an asshole than a victim.

    1. TheGrammarLegionary

      … Damn you, Cerberus. That was good.

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Personal headcanon: Becky appears at this exact moment and says “Now kiss!”

      1. Shaunock

        I approve of this.

        1. zoomer296

          I tried to find a drawing of money master’s head cannon, but I failed you all.

        2. Opus the Poet

          Ask and Ye shall receive http://www.itswalky.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/oldmm.jpg

    3. Rukduk

      Which leads to Carla introducing Amber to Roller Derby.

      1. tim gueguen

        In an upcoming strip:

        Malaya: “Damn, that fist to the gut felt familiar! Where have I been punched by her before??”

        1. ninja_jesus

          Gut-fisting is a bit too extreme of a fetish for my liking.

        2. Opus the Poet

          A woman was killed getting that done to her a few months ago. Google at your own peril.

        3. Historyman68

          So was Houdini?

      2. DarkoNeko

        THAT could actually be a nice stress outlet of sort.

      3. Disloyal Subject

        I thought we wanted her to find a SAFER hobby than vigilantism? 😛

        1. tim gueguen

          At least she’d be wearing a helmet, shoulder pads, and kneepads as a roller derby participant.

        2. Tacos

          Plus there’s a whole lot less chances to encounter rifle wielding toe-shaped bigot fathers.

      4. Catullus

        Oh shit, I really want this to happen now.

    4. Jason

      Personal head canon:
      Amber: “My head was hit by a cannon!”

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Personal head cannon: Pistol Daimyo.

        http://bravoman.wikia.com/wiki/Pistol_Daimyo

        1. Jason

          Cool!

      2. The Phantom's Belch

        +1 Internets!

      3. Bicycle Bill

        New headcannon:

    5. Betty Anne

      I should have scrolled down before I replied above, because this was my thoughts exactly. :3

    6. Dana

      Unfortunately I doubt Amber would take a lesson from that, ditch the costume, and become asshole girl. With her personal safety on the line that would be a step up.

    7. Idon'tcarenomore

      Good one.

  11. Lena

    Seriously worried about Amber now… how far is she going to go to protect her identity?

    1. Cerberus

      Well, clearly to the point of jeopardizing her own health. Which is bad. Batman can get away with absorbing what he does because he’s a fictional character with what might be the most talented, overworked butler on the planet, but Amber is just a girl trying desperately not to be when she’s in her Amazi-girl alter. And that could get worse and worse as she accumulates untreated physical injuries.

      1. Viktoria

        She was flung from a moving car at high speed and landed on an off-balance motorcycle headed in a different direction and survived. Clearly she’s not going to suffer serious injuries doing her Amazi-girl activities.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Don’t be so sure. Amazi-Girl’s actions usually have long-term effects on Amber’s psyche.

      2. Reaver

        B…but Amber is also a fictional character…

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Sure, but she’s still not Batman.

  12. Eric

    🙁

  13. Bladeglory

    You know if you were a ROBOT, you wouldn’t need glasses and you wouldn’t be bleeding. I don’t know why I say that. But it’s true!

    1. cesium133

      Robots sometimes need glasses, too. 🙂

      1. Belle

        That is awesome. 😀

  14. tim gueguen

    Yay! The return of Carla.

    So, how did Amber’s glasses get broken anyways? She doesn’t wear them as Amazi-girl.

    1. TheTJ

      She may have actually sat on them, they probably went into one of the pouches and got crushed at some point.

      1. Dean

        That’s why Amber should get a hard case for her glasses, if she’s going to continue as Amazi-Girl. Glasses are expensive.

      2. Commodore Jeep-Eep

        I suspect they were cased – on the side where she slammed the windshield.

    2. Ray Radlein

      They were probably in a belt pouch when she got thrown all over creation in several high-impact collisions.

    3. Carms

      in one of her pouches. Where else could she stash them for hey presto changes?

    4. Disloyal Subject

      Might’ve been in a pocket, like her sneakers.

    5. Emma

      They were probably in a pocket.

    6. Rex Vivat

      She is still carrying them. Her reaction in panel 3 is because she’s just then realizing they’re broken.

    7. OmegaDez

      I was wonderng the same thing. I guess she just had them with her.
      Also, I really hope this isn’t leading to a “Amber is getting contacts/lasik” storyline. T_T

      1. No Name

        It probably isn’t, for the same reason Superman won’t get glasses.

  15. Rob

    Um, concussion? have that shit looked at, Ambro.
    YAS MORE CARLA 😀
    why are superheroes always so bad with excuses? “In all the excitement, I tripped and fell on my face” bam, there you go.

    1. Ruhrow

      Why? They don’t do anything for concussions. There’s nothing they really CAN do. She should keep an eye out for signs of a serious head bleed (the whole ‘you can let them sleep’ thing only really applies when people actually get checked out…if you don’t get cleared then it’s not unwise to monitor routinely for neurological deficits) but if it’s a concussion, no point in going to the doc.

      1. NelC

        The doc can check if it’s one of those serious head injuries they can do something about; like, drugs to relieve the brain swelling, drill though the skull to relieve pressure. At the very least sew things up so she’s not bleeding all over the place.

        1. TOD

          Yeah, I’ve heard way too many stories in recent years of people being punched in the head, not getting checked out by doctors, and then dying from brain swelling and such.

          I would not be surprised if she’s got some cracked ribs in there too. Girl needs to look after herself.

  16. SUGauthor

    She should have just said she tripped and hit her head.

    1. whataname

      Gah, you ninja.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        And Rob beat you both.

    2. Falling Star

      or both sitting and falling

  17. Rukduk

    And that was the last time Carla was ever seen…

  18. NotPiffany

    Ouch. Speaking as a glasses wearer, that is going to hurt the old pocketbook.

    1. Guairdean Beatha

      eyebuydirect.com and a few others can save you a bundle.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        I got some for under $100 just recently

        and also actually for free because my dad paid because it gets around the maximum gift limit per person per year without being taxed

      2. NotPiffany

        Sure, if she happens to already have a spare pair. The online shops take a few weeks to get their wares made and to your door, or at least that’s how long mine took. If she’s got to go to the one-hour place to get a new pair for class? Ouch!

    2. Pat

      She can see well enough to be a superhero without them. They’re just there for secret identity purposes anyway.

      1. tim gueguen

        The obvious question, yet to be answered, is whether she wears contacts as Amazi-girl, or if she doesn’t need glasses at all at this point, but continues to wear them to differentiate Amber from Amazi-girl.

        1. John

          I seem to recall Willis saying something along the lines of: She mostly just needs them to read at this point, and gets by without as Amazi-Girl.

    3. Marie

      maybe she can bill them to blaine. also she maybe wears contacts as AG, so while that’s not preferable because secrets it would be doable

    4. Agemegos

      In September I was showing off to some people after dinner how springy and twisty the titanium wings on my frameless, hinge-less titanum specs were. And broke one. $1200. Ouch.

    5. Bicycle Bill

      Dina seems to have a set of parents who are rather liberal with the exchequer, and since Amazi-Girl was instrumental in rescuing/saving Dina’s main squeeze (Becky), I suspect that this will find itself taken care of.

      Either that or we get a guest appearance by Hermione Granger who performs the ‘Oculus Reparo’ charm.

      1. Historyman68

        Now that’s a crossover I’d read.

        1. Strangeshapes

          “Now that’s a slipshine I’d read.”
          Fixed that for you.

      2. TOD

        I vote for option two.

  19. whataname

    Probably be more beleivable if she said she trppied.

    1. Falling Star

      That actually comes up a lot if you google it.

  20. caesaria82

    CARLA!!! I am so excited! My fave!

    Amber looks way too unharmed for what just happened to her. I mean, other than the BLEEDING HEAD WOUND!? Gdi Amber, go get checked out. You worry us.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Even minor head wounds bleed a lot. She might actually be fine!
      Of course, she should still have someone qualified decide whether or not she’s physically healthy.

      1. Tacos

        Well we know she’s not mentally healthy at least.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Hell, even she knows that.

  21. Mada

    I will be ecstatic if at some point, Amber delivers the line “I ain’t got time to b leed.”

    1. Airyu

      Especially if it ends up being that time of the month

    2. Willinwoods

      “I was elected to lead, not to bleed.”

  22. Viktoria

    This is the first time I’ve ever regretted not looking at the Patreon previews. There’s got to be a good “Carla is Amazigirl with amazing deductive skills” joke to be made, but it’ll take at least a day for me to figure out what it is.

  23. Wublub

    Yeah, us nerds are always sitting on our glasses with our faces. I used to do it all the time in school.
    But seriously, Amber needs to go see the doctor.

    1. Kateastrophe

      Hey, I once dropped a tuba on my face. Nerds are sometimes capable of great feats of clutziness.

      1. ObiKemnebi

        Got one better. My ex hit himself in the head with a catapult. Not the tennis ball being thrown by the catapult; the catapult itself. Sadly, the concussion did not affect his thinking capacity enough to make him any less of a challenge at MtG. He’s also stepped into a 20gal trash can without noticing.

        1. Idon'tcarenomore

          In PS Ed. class, which I hated, we were being forced to run full tilt down mats on the floor. Very little clearance between the wall and the end. Coach kept hollering “Don’t Slow Down, Don’t Slow Down”. I didn’t. And ran right into the wall, full tilt. Put myself out of ps. ed. for a couple weeks – it was worth it.

          I’m one of the few people I know who can eat an ice cream cone and get the ice cream on my socks, and nowhere else, while walking.

  24. Cattleprod

    Is the next storyline about all the glasses-wearing characters judging Amber for breaking hers?

  25. Cerberus

    But seriously, I’ve got a suspicion that Carla might actually be good at first aid and treating injuries, both because she does an activity likely to end in a few concussions and skinned knees and also because being who she is means she probably faced more than a little badness growing up in conservative Indiana.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      It does seem probable. Even if she’s not from Indiana originally, the first point stands.

    2. Marie

      Plus she might not be super into seeing walk-in doctors and discussing her medical history when she can avoid it, if she’s been in bad areas.

      1. Cerberus

        That’s very likely… Easier to treat a “minor” head wound than deal with really insensitive questions while in a vulnerable state.

        1. Betsumei

          In my experience and observation, “insensitive questions” are pretty much the best possible outcome when interacting with medical professionals as a trans woman…

        2. David

          Well, as a doctor you need to know what you are dealing with. Once you are no longer dealing with stock models but stuff significantly built to specs, you can’t hope to do solid repair work without knowing the individual mods where possibly relevant to the problem at hand.

          So I don’t think you can hope to do much better than getting the insensitive questions out of the way early. At least for a somatic physician.

        3. Cerberus

          True, but what Betsumei is referring to and I’m downplaying is this:
          http://www.thetaskforce.org/static_html/downloads/reports/reports/ntds_report_on_health.pdf

          and this:

          http://planettransgender.com/transhealthfail-revealing-serious-concerns-in-transgender-health-care/

          Being denied treatment, even for non-transition/non-genital related care, being at risk for violence from health care professionals, and having a lot of discrimination and intentional misgendering can be taxing and so a lot of trans people will try and hold out for a preferred clinic if they at all can.

        4. Dragon_Nataku

          I think it’s not so much the questions but the way in which they are said and the looks they give you. Ended up in the hospital once and they found I was binding my breasts and gave me this look like “what the fuck you freak” and then demanded an explanation. Even though, you know, it had nothing to do with why I was even in the hospital. Then again, this was a nurse and not a doctor so who knows.

  26. Domo Arigato

    She needs to visit a hospital. Concussion is serious business.

    1. Mo

      Just in case we all thought Willis was putting a total happy bow on the storyline, here’s Amber to remind us that not everyone’s OK.

    2. Ruhrow

      They don’t do anything for concussion. No point in going.
      Yeah, it’s a serious injury, but your course of treatment is going to be the same at home or at the hospital…rest and treat the symptoms individually. The only thing you gain going to the hospital for is to be cleared for a more serious, non-concussion injury, which is less and less likely as time goes on and she shows no neurologic deficits.

      1. Wublub

        I mean, she might want to get some stitches on that huge cut on her head. And maybe get her ribs and back and everything else that got SLAMMED INTO A CAR checked out. But I could just be worrying too much.

      2. Dragon_Nataku

        If it’s a slow bleed in the brain symptoms may not be noticeable or just be really too gradual to notice before it’s too late and one succumbs to the injury and dies (not that I’m expecting Amber to die, this is just a general note about head/brain injuries).

      3. JWLM

        They most certainly do “do things” for a concussion. They’ll check for more severe closed-head injuries by running MRIs and the like. They’ll monitor the patient to see if there are other things wrong. They’ll look for unexplained clots in the brain which could lead to a stroke.

        IRL, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to a hospital. There are a lot of things that the folks in the ER (and, god forbid, the neuro ward) can do. Putting that trip off is like putting off the trip because of a “tiny chest pain.” Don’t do it.

        (Says the guy who ignored the “tiny chest pain.” Bad choice, dude, bad choice.)

  27. Skizz

    I am glad she got back okay.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      One thing at a time.  She got back.
      Whether she’s okay remains to be seen.

  28. Elva Rodríguez

    Please let them begin a super heroe duo…

    1. Dana

      Somehow I got super dude bro duo out of that.

  29. cobaltergeist

    I’m kinda surprised she got back to the dorms and resumed her normal identity so easily, considering how injured she was. I would have thought she’d have trouble walking all the way, or would have been too slow to not be followed.

    Seeing either AG or Amber bleeding so much could get a lot of attention. Keeping composure after all that must have taken a ton of determination.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Cue her keeling over in class.

    2. tim gueguen

      I always find it a bit odd to see Amazi-girl abbreviated as AG because of the character Action Girl, from Diane Castle’s gigantic crossover fanfiction The Secret Return of Alex Mack, over at Twisting the Hellmouth. Action Girl gets referred to as AG more than once.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Clearly they must fight to the death over it.
        Five pence on Amazi-Girl.

  30. Rena

    Does Amber wear her glasses under the mask?

    1. Falling Star

      No, they were in her pocket.
      When she took the numerous slammings, they shattered.

  31. NinjaNick

    “I tripped and hurt my head.”

    1. Falling Star

      “Yes, I was told to sit.”

  32. JessWitt

    All sorts of weaponry and gear in her superhero belt, yet no eyeglass case for AmaziGirl?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      how about a glasses repair kit.

    2. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Not pictured are the shards of that case.

  33. Yotomoe

    Carla’s face looks pretty chubby in this strip.

    1. Betty Anne

      Freshman 15 hit early. :p

      1. DinaWho

        Don’t think Carla’s a freshman. She mentioned having to build up ‘mind share’ with the new freshmen a few storylines back (in The Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit I think).

        1. Peduncle

          Carla is a sophomore.

        2. Peduncle

          And the mind-share episode is here.
          Carla is characterized and accepts it.

        3. Peduncle

          Possibly relevant to this episode is that Carla and Amazi-Girl have a history.

        4. Dr. T

          More relevant was the incident in the Wal-Mart parking lot, though at least Carla wasn’t excited to be a part of it.

  34. Guairdean Beatha

    It’ll be a minor miracle if broken glasses are the worst damage. I’d expect a minor limp and pain when she coughs at the very least.

    1. Jhon

      Plus bruises. Her back and butt will be a panoramic sunset in glorious technicolor.

  35. DarkoNeko

    I’m wondering if she still has the Amazi-hairs or if she could somehow switch back (it was mentionned he groomed it in a certain fashion, but I cannot really see a lot of diff. Have protanomalia probably doesn’t help)

    If it’s still Amazi-hairs, then Carla is more likely to recognize it.

    1. DarkoNeko

      +s

    2. dralou

      She’s in her regular style. AG hairstyle is not so… perfectly spherical.

  36. newllend(henryvolt)

    Ummmm her head is uh….having period! Ya that’s my story and I’m sticking to it no no matter how stupid as hell it may sound.

  37. Kernanator

    No no, Amber, you’re thinking of Malaya.

  38. Cerberus

    I wonder… is this the biggest height difference between characters who’ve appeared together (as far as the girl’s side goes)?

    1. xKiv

      Not in the same panel, but dina+carla have been in the same strip.

  39. Disloyal Subject

    Maaybe the half-bath would’ve been a better place to get cleaned up than the dorm showers, Ambster.

  40. Jrgolden42

    Dumbiverse Schtickshift origin story incoming

    1. JessWitt

      Yessss!

    2. Heavensrun

      Second.

    3. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      THIS

      ALL THE THIS

  41. chris73

    “Was looking for something and I stood up and hit my head on the edge of the shelf”

    Heads bleed like crazy, why pro wrestlers used to cut their foreheads and heads

  42. Tacos

    Yeah I’m sure many people will believe that excuse Amber. /sarcasm
    Saying you ran into a door while playing with your DS would be more believable.

  43. 0kami

    Okay, Ambster-hamster, two things…

    Invest in a high-impact resistant case for your glasses.

    It was a case of person-versus-motorized vehicle. Level the playing field with your own vehicle next time. Even Batman has his own alter-vehicles; he’s not chasing down criminals in Bruce Wayne’s Lamborghini.

    1. zoelogical

      i am a huge fan of that high-impact resistant case idea. it seems entirely, completely useful.

    2. Cerberus

      She has had the Amazi-board, what more did you want? Oh, a vehicle with even a bare modicum of protection? Ha ha, like Amber believes in self-preservation…

      Eh, it’s sad because that’s actually true. Amber doesn’t care about saving or taking care of herself because she doesn’t value herself in any way.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Amazi-Girl has thought of that at least once before.

  44. Just Me

    How did Amber even manage to get back? She looked like she was going to pass out. And she’s still bleeding.

    I figured she’d be in the hospital, considering what she went through. If the only thing she broke was her glasses, she’s damn lucky.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Amber is an excellent example of a person accomplishing amazing things with enough determination, recklessness, and crazy.
      Humans are simultaneously very fragile and unbelievably tough. She probably just forced herself to walk back.

      1. Betty Anne

        ^ This. You’d be surprised what you can ‘tough out’ when you don’t have money for a doctor (or in Amber’s case, a desire to see one in any regard). Not that I know from personal experience or anything. 😐

        1. Dragon_Nataku

          Pfft. Satan-san needs no doctor!

    2. Kateastrophe

      Adrenaline can carry people a long way. I used to be an EMT, and I’ve seen people get up and walk away from worse. Which is… Not good, because the chemicals bouncing around in a high stress situation are really great painkillers and people can exacerbate injuries. It’s also really hard to actually knock people out, which is why it is super bad for you to be unconscious for, like, any amount of time after a blow to the head. Despite all fiction ever, where knocking someone unconscious is like a lovetap.

    3. Amazi-Stool

      If she really got back walking that must have taken at least an hour, probably more given that she was not in best shape!

      And she is still bleeding so much? Bad sign!

  45. A Scientist

    She should probably get a CT just in case, or at least be monitored for a while. And she should also definitely be taking it easy for a while. From my unfortunately extensive experience, head injuries are not to be taken lightly.

    1. neeks

      Yeah, but that would necessitate a cover story for how she got hurt in the first place, and I would think an insightful enough medical professional would figure out there’s more to the head wound than what Amber had told them, which could lead to authorities getting involved, etc, and methinks miss o’malley would prefer to avoid that given the illegal-ness of vigilantism. Odds are she’ll be making do (due?) with webmd and Google for how to recover from head injuries.

      1. DB

        Strictly speaking, doctors (at least in the uk) are only allowed to break confidentiality in quite extreme cases. I’m not sure turning up with an injury which is similar to a vigilante who may not even be known by the doctor or have been mentioned in reports qualifies.

        And yes kids, confidentiality includes not telling your parents if you’re under 18.

  46. NF

    At first I thought Amber was talking to Ruth. Can you imagine if it was? Ruth would be like, “I will take both of your femurs if you don’t tell me what you did. Tell me now, and I will leave you with one.”

    1. tim gueguen

      It would be funny, and sort of in keeping with her “I know all, fear me!” routine if Ruth did know Amber and Amazi-girl are the same person. “What, you guys are telling me that mask and messing with her hair was enough to keep you from recognising her? Just how stupid are you all, anyway?”

  47. Cerberus

    Sal was right, Carla is “pretty dang tall”:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/purpleandskates/

    1. Bicycle Bill

      At least three inches of that are the skates.

      1. tim guegue

        Here’s Carla skateless, and Sal in skates for comparison.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/insomnia/

    2. Kamino Neko

      To be fair, Amber’s also pretty darn short.

  48. Shadow-DJ

    SAY YOU FELL DOWN SOME STAIRS! SHE’LL BELIEVE YOU!

  49. Jason

    “Oh no! I shot my eye out!”

  50. izumi ryu

    Just as soon as David from my comic I’d about to get his glasses replaced, Amber breaks hers… interesting timing…

  51. Lan Mikoto

    “Nah see some of the geeks at the comic shop challenged me to headbutt a new Aquaman bust. It went awry and I kinda poked my skull in.”

  52. Carla Griffin

    For a moment there I thought that Amber was wiping away her hair colour and got confused.

  53. Bagge

    Dammit Amber, call Danny right away. One of the perks of being a super hero is having the people who are in on your secret doting on you in situations like this.

    …and you really shouldn’t be alone right now, for many reasons.

    The heroes reward is bleak…

  54. NLips

    It sucks… but what she needed to do (before being spotted) is “accidentally” stumble down a flight of stairs while playing her gameboy. Oh, oops, how absent minded… then there would be witnesses for how she got her injuries.

    1. random832

      Or just say it was a skateboarding accident.

  55. Kuroneko

    What, she can’t just go to the ER and say “yeah, I fell and hit my head. Can I get stitches, please?”

    1. Bicycle Bill

      In this day and age of HIPAA, OSHA, CPSC, and the prevalent attitude of everyone and anyone to CYA, even going to the walk-in clinic for an aspirin requires staggering amounts of paperwork.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Heading to the Emergency Room for stitches costs me $5, some waiting while more serious injuries are dealt with, and no paperwork beyond directions on the use of any medicines I’m prescribed and information packets on the type(s) of injuries I came in with, but that’s with membership and health insurance at the hospital.

        1. Rycan

          Head trauma should get her more immediate attention. I hope.

    2. Amanduh

      There are multiple eyewitnesses who’ve likely told the cops about the brown-haired girl who was climbing on Toedad’s car, who fell off once and slammed into the windshield of another car, and then fell off again and was grabbed in midair by a motorcyclist. If a brown-haired girl shows up at the ER with a head injury and bruises while the place is still crawling with cops…no matter what excuse she gives for her injuries, the police are not stupid, and Amazi-Girl’s identity may well be exposed. So no, as long as Amber’s priorities include keeping her identity secret, she can’t just go to the ER.

      1. Rycan

        I think I would prioritize “not dying” over “keeping my identity a secret”. Then again, I’m not a crazy masked vigilante.

      2. ninja_jesus

        There’s no reason for the police to suspect Amber was involved. One thing that Amber has on her side is the idea that correlation does not equal causation. Just because Amber was injured that day, and Amazi-Girl, who looks like her, also got injured that day, it doesn’t mean she’s the same person.

        Secondly, Amber and Amazi-Girl have different hair styles, seemingly different vision, different voices, and overall different personalities. Similar body type alone isn’t enough to cause reasonable suspicion. If she had like obvious road rash or bits of debris around her injuries, maybe that could cause suspicion, but we don’t know if that’s the case.

        So as far as I can tell, Amber is in the clear.

  56. ninja_jesus

    Whelp, time for Amber to full-time avoid Sal, the only person who knows about Amazi-Girl’s injuries.

    Maybe she could claim that a bike messenger clipped her head. Worked wonders for Spider-Man.

  57. ClaudeWicked

    More Carla pls

  58. BenRG

    A lot now depends on two things:

    1) Just how badly Sal’s denunciation has shaken Amber;

    2) Just how curious and concerned Carla is after hearing Amber’s excuse, which is pretty much the dictionary definition of ‘implausible deflection’.

    1. tim guegue

      Combine a bleeding head with broken glasses, and some might come to the reasonable assumption that someone has been abusing Amber. Carla might be one of them, depending on what her own history is like. Then again if she mirrors Ultra Car’s history in Shortpacked! her parents are supportive of her transitioning.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Parental support ≠ community acceptance.

  59. Rycan

    Is this where somebody finally drags Amber to the hospital?

    1. CianM1301

      I hope so. Head trauma is never good.

  60. Chrissy

    Considering minor wounds take 7-10 minutes to clot fully, Amber either needs stitches or some other sort of skin closure.

  61. Plasma Mongoose

    Some of us are leaders and some of us are bleeders, not sure why that popped into my head.

  62. Bagge

    Oh, least I forget…

    FAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEE

    1. Orbit Junkie

      This is both the perfect profile picture and the perfect comment. How you managed to pair them together, I’ll never know.

      1. Bagge

        That’s the magic of Becky

  63. Willoughby Chase

    Carla being a roller derby-er should know about head trauma. Time for A&E.

  64. Spencer

    amber how are you not dead

    1. inqntrol

      One word: Luck

      1. Spencer

        I mean, she’s been bleeding out of her head for at least half an hour and she probably has a concussion. If someone is bleeding that much from a head wound isn’t that a sign that they need immediate medical attention and not just a wet rag?

        Did she just dump her costume somewhere and walk back? If lockdown’s over then how did she manage to shamble her way up to her dorm smeared in blood without anybody noticing?

        1. Tadpole7

          My guess is the wound had stopped bleeding. Cleaning the wound probably restarted the bleeding. Also I think she has a back way into her room similar to Sal.

        2. Spencer

          There’s no way she’d be able to climb into her dorm room in her condition. She just got wrecked; She should barely be able to move right now. Heck, when Malaya kneed her in the stomach, we saw her walking into her dorm while nursing that.

          Would a wound that serious take care of itself? Genuine question. I really have no idea.

        3. Greenygal

          According to WebMD, head wounds always bleed a lot, and even a mild cut may continue to bleed for up to 45 minutes if untreated.

          Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think she should see a doctor, but it’s within the bounds of possibility that she’s lucked out.

        4. Spencer

          Right, maybe I’m thinking that, as a head wound, it’s automatically serious and potentially lethal.

          I guess it makes sense if it’s just a cut, but given the way she got it, I would think that it was actually really serious.

        5. segnosaur

          There are a lot of blood vessels in the scalp that can cause excessive bleeding even from minor (or non-life threatening) cuts. Consider professional wrestlers, who often bleed during a match (sometimes from the use of a razor blade, sometimes as a legitimate cut cause by contact with a chair or ringpost). They can bleed a lot, but after the match will have no significant head trauma.

        6. Spencer

          I suppose.

          I think I’m just having a hard time buying that she came out of this so okay.

        7. segnosaur

          Well, again… let professional wrestlers be your guide.

          The trick is learning the best way to take a fall… flat on your back, distributing the impact across as much surface area as possible. And tucking your chin to your chest to prevent neck injuries and stop the back of the head hitting the ground (or whatever surface).

          Mick Foley was thrown 16 feet off a steel cage onto a table, and was able to continue a match.

          Amazigirl did hit a windshield, but she hit it flat on her back, and the 2 cars probably were going at comparable speeds. (So, relatively she did not hit the windshield at 55MPH, she might have hit it at 5-10MPH, the speed differential between the cars.)

        8. That guy

          To be fair, I’m not sure I’d say Mick Foley was “ok” after that match. In terms of scalp wounds though, a split in the skin due to a glancing blow is also pretty common (especially in sports like rugby), and those bleed like crazy.

        9. Just Me

          Considering what Amber went through, I’m upping her durability level to borderline Superhuman.

          Dependent on what happens next.

        10. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          She really is a bantam Elemental phenotype.

        11. Willoughby Chase

          Vomiting and dizziness are also worth noting here.

        12. segnosaur

          Did she throw up? I don’t remember her doing so.

          She was dizzy and did pass out (both bad signs).

        13. JWLM

          Very bad signs. However, we’ve seen no sign of retrograde amnesia, nor of many of the other symptoms of traumatic brain injury.

          Um, Amber? Put on your suit if you have to, but get thee to a hospital. Right. Fucking. Now.

        14. Idon'tcarenomore

          It looked like she was throwing up when she was standing under the tree, as Sal drove away. Maybe not.

        15. JWLM

          Head wounds bleed much more than they “ought to,” simply because the scalp is very near to the brain, and the brain soaks up a huge fraction of your body’s blood supply.

  65. Just Me

    Why do I have a feeling that Carla is just going to say something like, “you should have that looked at” then she walks away?

    Well, hopefully Amber can find either Danny or Ethan …. unless she finds them together…

    1. Strangeshapes

      I think Mike will find out before either of them, because he’ll get the story from Walky, his roommate. Danny might get the story (in a bad light) from Sal and get in a fight with Amber over Amazi-Girl nearly getting herself killed, which Amber will reject because Danny learned it from Sal. I don’t see Ethan finding out for awhile, unless he bumps into Joyce.

  66. Hehehe...

    Shouldn’t that be… with your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

  67. Falling Star

    I’ve done that before.
    Which prolly explains why they no longer stay on my face.

  68. Volkai

    Can’t breathe for laughing.

    Glasses jokes~!

  69. Palamdrone

    The irony of the situation is that she’s bleeding not from being hit by a car, but from bumping her head on a tree after seeing Sal.

    1. Aislashu

      While that would be funny, tis simply not true:

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/hostage-2/

  70. io

    Ohgodohgod its Carla!! This had better not just be filler I’ve been wanting more screen time fot her for ages @/@
    Also… Amber Does have a thing for jerks… It woukd give danny and ethan a way out so they can slipshine <3

    1. Cerberus

      That’s not a ship I had thought of… hmm, on the one hand, Amber is mostly straight, on the other, one of her incarnations has been shown to be a little bi:
      http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1792

      Also, ditto yay on Carla. Seeing my favorite fictional trans ace get screen time is always a happy occasion.

      1. John

        Getting pants feelings from Action Rachel doesn’t mean you’re bi. It just means you’re human.

        On the other hand, Shortpacked! Amber does make out with an awful lot of girls for an allegedly straight girl…

        1. Spencer

          Those were all either Robin or Leslie forcibly kissing her, or when she kissed someone to try and convince Faz she was gay (whereupon he lectured her on the Kinsey scale).

          I assumed that the joke of Alt!Amber was that she was incredibly sexually repressed, but it’s possible she’s not a solid Kinsey 0.

      2. 0kami

        Another strip has shown her to be roughly bi in this universe as well.

        1. Spencer

          Those are both dudes.

        2. Kamino Neko

          I’m not sure ‘yes, two hot* guys, keep making out’ particularly suggests she’s bi…

          * To Amber, at least. I don’t agree, personally. Charlie Day’s cute as hell, but Burn Gorman looks like a fricken frog…also, I have a bit of a problem separating him from his Torchwood character. (Not that his Pacific Rim character was exactly a joy, either.)

  71. Sigurther

    Man she looks wierd without her glasses or a mask on.

  72. John

    “Cosplay accident.”

    “Weird. I was cosplaying Ultra Car this afternoon, and someone broke my windshield.”

  73. Taigan

    This is why Danny should switch to pre-med.

  74. Kraken

    Go directly to hospital. Do not pass Dan. Do not collect your 3DS.

  75. Kirbilius Clausius

    This is one of the best ways that we’ve been shown how deep Amber’s issues go. It’s one thing to try to use the mask as an inhaler. It’s quite another thing to not have your Lois Lane / Mary Jane do exactly what they do which is well within their capacity because “nah, I got this.”

    All Amber has is a scalp wound that won’t close because she can’t bandage her head. After all, she did get back from where she was to college and from Amazi-Girl to Amber without being discovered so no matter what ‘pain’ she’s at most had a concussive event in the football sense of the word (i.e. dimentia when she’s 35 but she’ll be in the game tomorrow). Danny applying the pressure to stop the bleeding and then stitching up the cut is exactly what she needs him to do. And in fact, she should know this or be able to feel the ridge informing her of the skull split and the cut in her blood brain barrier that would keep her from knowing this.

    But Amber just can’t bring herself to tell anyone “I need your help.” And it’s the very same issue that her father, and the robbery, and her view on the self sacrifice on the behalf of Ethan and everything comes together as. But it’s a subtle because it’s just an event instead of the story saying so.

    1. That guy

      While fully appreciating the seriousness of concussions, I’m pretty confident in stating that one event on its own will not lead to dementia at 35. It may lead to an increased risk of dementia later in life, but the exact numbers are not entirely clear.

  76. l0wten

    or she could just say the head injery is from not being able to see

  77. Vangeln

    Really it was with a toe…

    1. Arianod

      Somebody give this man/woman/other an Internet.

  78. EvolutionistX

    In my experience, head wounds bleed like crazy for a few seconds, then suddenly stop. It’s been at least several hours since Amber’s head got bashed, so bleeding at this point seems like a really bad sign.

    (Also, what, no facial abrasions?)

    1. segnosaur

      When would she have gotten facial abrasions? During the chase, her back hit the car’s windshield. When she was caught by Sal it was around he waist. And when Sal woke her up, the last bump was on the back of the head.

  79. Griffin

    aw, I wanted her to run into the law.

    1. That guy

      Headfirst?

      1. Griffin

        That’d work. Maybe she’d get a nice ‘assaulting an officer’ charge.

  80. Cathy Garrett

    I’ll sit on your face and tell you that I love you.
    You’ll sit on my face and tell me you love me too.

    Doesn’t really work for this comic, does it?

    1. Arianod

      Not YET 😀

  81. Eric

    Would have been better to say she tripped and face planted, or some guys were tossing around a football or baseball and she got it in the face. Mention a perfectly normal accident on a campus that would explain broken glasses and facial injuries.

    1. Bagge

      Well, her entire bodylanguage screams “Don’t wanna acknowledge the real reason why I’m bleeding”, so I think it is a good plan to keep it simple and not dig herself in further.

  82. Plasma Mongoose

    “Just an aneurysm from sheer stupidity”.

  83. Edupoet81

    I’m actually clumsy enough that something like that could plausibly happen to me. I’m pretty unusual in my level of clumsiness, however, and I’m guessing Carla’s not buying that.

    Amber should really get that head wound looked at.

  84. Tenn

    There’s a hole in my forehead, dear Carla, dear Carla
    There’s a hole in my forehead, dear Carla, a hole

    1. chris73

      Thats brilliant

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If only we had some straw, water and an axe.

  85. Tenn

    I don’t know what kind of dumb edits people did of yesterday’s strip, but I thought I’d try my hand at it myself: Becky says things she’d (probably) never actually say

    Sorry not sorry.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I approve this edit. ^_^

    2. Bicycle Bill

      I still don’t understand why they would be called “hatefucks”.

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