149

Freshmen
Posted on August 3, 2012 by David M Willis

149 thoughts on “Freshmen”

  1. SkepticJ

    Everything includes your face.

    1. thomas0comer

      I cant…
      But I must…
      You mean your FAAAAAAAACE?

      1. David Herbert

        With her penis.

        1. Krashthemystro

          for a nickel. are we done now.

        2. Bugberry

          your mom was, for a nickel.

        3. Izzy

          Femurs. Live. Butts.

        4. Rex Hondo

          All hail DAB. All hail DAB. All hail DAB.

        5. Krashthemystro

          aparrently not.

        6. That guy

          With fifty.mcnuggets.

    2. Ray Barrington

      And your femurs. You need them to live.

    3. Lucca

      As well as your femurs.

  2. thomas0comer

    Yeah, Billie, I sometimes feel that way as well.

    1. thomas0comer

      Not specifically about being friends with sophomores.

    2. Luke

      Sometimes? Not a minute goes by that the thought of repeatedly stabbing someone in various organs and body parts doesn’t seriously cross my mind, and I usually have to convince myself to not do that. Madness is interesting.

      1. waldosan

        nah that’s just anger issues, real madness is annoying, you never get anything done. the important thing to note is that the ones who are truly mad are mad for a reason, it’s usually because they’d be too dangerous if they ever decided to kick the madness and become sane.

  3. Sensedog

    How sad.

    1. Valdrax

      Yeah. Not only is it kind of a pathetic thing to do even in high school, but she really hasn’t gotten the fact that “classes” don’t mean a thing in college past the first freshman semester. These are just three slightly older girls who have no influence over the student body as a whole. They’re not even in a sorority or other group with social pull as far she knows.

      She’s kissing up for nothing because she simply can’t adapt to a new environment.

      1. gangler

        They might not even be older. They’ve just been here longer.

      2. Swissaboo

        I think you’re missing out on the real motive, which is that they have easier access to booze than she.

        1. Gordon

          Eh, Billie would just flirt with an older guy to get her booze.

          For her it would work both as a challenge for her “skills”(trading off her on her looks) and as a self-esteem boost.

        2. Valdrax

          Since when has Billie had trouble getting booze?

      3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

        Natural Selection lives on.

    2. Aeonitus

      Last year, a lot of my new college buds outside my major were seniors. THey never seemed any different from me, and I was a freshman. The only difference is that they’ve graduated and I’ve got to find new people to hang out with.

      1. Spazman

        it’s the sad batman that sells this post.

        1. waldosan

          i hate it when that happens, usually i just find the hackey sack circle, their all potheads but at least you know who your talking to.

  4. Uniqueantique

    Yeah so Billie has finally found some friends. And I hope Joyce can run in those boots.

    1. Yotomoe

      no she can’t
      Those boots were made for walkin’

      1. thomas0comer

        And that’s just what they’ll do. Oh god I feel old.

        1. L

          One of these days those boots are gonna walk all over you

        2. waldosan

          are you ready boots, start walking.

        3. Alechsa

          the remake killed that song… it… was never meant… for techno…

  5. Godly

    I need to stab things too Billy. Just not with a knife.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Is it some other kind of tool?

      1. Heimdallw32

        Maybe a spork?

        1. Dave

          Didn’t you know sporks are
          dangerous!?

        2. Heimdallw32

          That’s only when you leave them alone with spoons and forks.

          Excuse me, the silverware drawer in my kitchen is rattling, need to see what that-

  6. TheLastOutlaw

    Booze, check.

    Friends with upperclassmen, check.

    Don’t mind me, just making a list of things Billie with trade her self esteem for.

    1. Bekah

      I’m not so sure that she really has a whole lot of that to trade.

      1. TheLastOutlaw

        No, not really. But she is still shockingly eager to get rid of what she has left.

        1. Yotomoe

          Everything must go!

        2. Andy

          Especially clothes and various sex acts!

          …what? You were all thinking it.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Mayyyyybe…

        4. Kernanator

          NO!

          …

          …Okay, yes.

  7. Brasca1

    I think they’ll be fast friends. They enable substance abuse, disregard the purpose of college, and they don’t like Sarah so Billie should have no trouble getting along.

  8. David Herbert

    With Joyce’s femurs.

    1. Regalli

      But she needs her femurs to live.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        But Billie needs them to stab. 😀

        1. Rex Hondo

          Silly, femurs are bludgeoning weapons. Half a femur could potentially be a stabbing weapon, depending on the nature of the break.

        2. Valdrax

          If you can’t stab with a bludgeoning weapon, you’re just not trying hard enough.

  9. Doctor_Who

    I still like Robin’s “Then I will KILL GOD” the best. But “Stab everything” is a close second.

  10. Tom Speelman

    I can’t look at those last few panels without hearing Billie’s voice dropping down to sound totally evil and scary.

    1. Heimdallw32

      Now take that kind of voice and apply it to this: http://itswalky.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d4midxj

      1. DaJoshMaster

        Oh my gawd… I’m scared for life. :'(

  11. Wonder Wig

    Oh silly willy Billie you can’t go stabbing willy-nilly.

    1. Yotomoe

      Willie Nillie has a lot to live for

      1. Rognik

        At least she’s not firing at Will.

  12. Vivvav

    FUCKING SHIT.

    1. Krashthemystro

      elequently put.

  13. T Campbell

    CONFLICT!

    1. Rognik

      No, conflict is Radiah-Sarah. Billie befriending the sophmores is a mission (and perhaps future conflict with Sarah).

      1. TheLastOutlaw

        Impending conflict, how awkward would it be if Joyce starts hanging out with this group? She’s roomies with Sarah, conflict in that scenario is inevitable.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Just imagine how awkward it’s going to be to find out that Ryan is another “really cool guy” that they enjoy partying with.

        2. TheLastOutlaw

          That actually wouldn’t surprise me very much. And yea, that may redefine awkward.

      2. Johnny

        All we hear is
        Radiah-Sarah

        1. badmartialarts

          RADIIIIAAAAH!
          Someone still loves yoooouuuuu!

  14. LimeTH

    Remember like two pages ago when I said she’s gone crazy?

    Called it.

  15. AliaPie

    Oh Billie. You’re so great. And insane.

  16. Nono

    Isn’t Sarah a sophomore?

    Why doesn’t Billie NEEEEEED to be friends with her?

    1. Leorale

      Sarah’s not exactly popular.

      1. Yotomoe

        and she kinda finds Billie physically repulsive.

        1. Andrusi

          And she’s a main character so she doesn’t count anyway.

  17. Krashthemystro

    This is the point where someone needs to take good old Billie gently by the face and tell her to kindly calm her shit. There is no good ending here.

    1. JK9000

      When someone says they want to “stab everything”, I don’t think physically confronting them would be my first instinct.

      1. Krashthemystro

        I didn’t say it was a smart idea. Just that it needs doing.

  18. kyojikasshu

    Well, if she didn’t like Billie before, I’m sure Sarah’s just going to looooooooove her now…

  19. Yotomoe

    oh man…warn the Balloon shop man!

  20. MarcinMN

    Yeah….because sophomores are the real big men and women on campus…. >.>

    1. Bekah

      When you’re a college freshman who still thinks she’s in high school, they are.

  21. L

    First Sarah was scout and now THAT BILLIE is a SPAH!

  22. mischugenah

    Are you SURE these guys aren’t at a high school boarding school? Because that’s seriously what it feels like to me.

    1. TheLastOutlaw

      Most likely because we’re seeing through the filter of characters barely weeks into their freshman college experience.

      1. mischugenah

        You’re likely right. I’m really hoping it doesn’t stay this way, tho.

  23. Jehosaphat

    STAB ALL THE THINGS!!!

  24. Sporky

    I’m being dim here, but why the heck is she called Char? All I can think of is Gundam. It’s distracting.

    1. David

      Same reason people named David are sometimes called Dave.

      1. Blob Marley

        Or Willis!

        Wait…

      2. Doctor_Who

        So your first name isn’t actually “Damn you” and a comma? I might owe you several apologies.

    2. Yotomoe

      pronounce it “shar” and it makes sense.

      1. HeatPhoenix

        The Char from Gundam is also pronounced “Shaa”.

        He comes for your women and gundams, be ready

    3. Kernanator

      Oh good, so it’s not just me.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You have the need to stab people too?

        OH MY!

        1. Kernanator

          …Sure, let’s go with that.

    4. Shade

      Char… mander?

      1. Ziaheart

        SO happy I’m not the only one.

        1. Shade

          That’s just where my brain goes.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Therefore Chan is short for Hitmonchan. 😀

        3. Andrusi

          Not anymore. Now it’s Chandelure.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Except for the starting three and their evolutions, I am unfamiliar with the 4th and 5th Gen of Pokemon.

        5. Shade

          For reference:
          http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/6/65/609Chandelure.png

          This way they can both be fire types!

    5. Tenn

      You mean, apart from her name being Charlotte?

      Well… why not? I know people with a lot stranger nicknames than abbreviations of their actual names.

    6. Valdrax

      Well, she is the red one. It remains to be seen if she’s 3x faster.

  25. JK9000

    Is Joyce mispronouncing Raidah’s name, or just emphasizing it for some reason?

    1. David

      She is pronouncing it correctly but slowly, as she’s unfamiliar with it.

      1. Leorale

        Oh! I was wondering that, too. (It also has the pleasant side effect of telling the readers how to pronounce Raidah correctly, but that wouldn’t be enough of a reason on its own.)

  26. MR C

    are those last three little panels based on the shut down everything meme?

    cause they have that feel

    1. David

      I don’t know what that is.

      1. Jackson

        Well, great minds think alike. It’s like how Leibniz and Newton simultaneously developed the Calculus independently of each other. But with memes.

    2. TheLastOutlaw

      I totally made the same assumption. But I also played Pandemic 2 like a fiend.

      http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shut-down-everything

      Includes helpful link to what shut down meme looks like.

      1. MR C

        oh my god i got spawned right on madagascar once, i had to pinch myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream

        AND THEN I WIPED OUT ALL OF HUMANITY

  27. Kernanator

    If there’s a problem that murder can’t solve, I don’t know what it is.

    1. Yotomoe

      Being the last living thing.

      1. begbert2

        One (self-)murder, and you are no longer the last living thing! Problem solved! Presuming, of course, that you don’t get all semantic about it.

        Objectively speaking, presuming that you’re good enough at it, killing things is pretty much the universal problem solver. This would of course mean being able to take out all the police and armies that would be broken out to quell your rampage, and possibly the ability to eliminate any petulant deities that might want to get all up in your face for exterminating creation, but that’s not asking too much, is it?

    2. Regalli

      Being the last person on Earth with a vault full of books, but being unable to read said books because your glasses just broke?

  28. Shade

    Yes she will stab everything! Even the knives!

    1. Yotomoe

      especially the knives

      1. Rognik

        We will stab out the sun, and then stab in the shade!

        1. Spazman

          stab them on the beaches, stab them in the streets….

          stab them with broken beer bottles because that’s bloody well all we’ve got!

          –Bill Churchill

        2. Spazman

          er, supposed to be “Billy” Churchill

  29. TemplarKnight

    At a certain point I think he just makes these comics for the gravatars.

  30. Sili

    Clever pronunciation guide.

    1. begbert2

      I’m reminded of that part in Harry Potter book 4 where Hermione corrected the readership-I-mean-Krum’s pronunciation.

      1. Rognik

        And yet, everyone still calls her “Her-MY-nee”, instead of “Her-mi-OH-nee.”

        1. David

          Beats “Her-moyn.”

        2. Paul1963

          Or “Her-my-wun,” like in that Robot Chicken sketch.

        3. Rex Hondo

          Hermy!

        4. Tenn

          …because that’s how it’s pronounced: somewhere between “Her-MY-nee” and “Her-MY-oh-NEE”. There is no emphasis on the “oh”.

      2. Rex Hondo

        Same thing happened in the novel of “Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire,” when Prince Xizor was complaining about a computer that was drawing out the first syllable of his name too long. “Sheeeeee-zor.”

        1. Bruceski

          They had a Pokemon in Star Wars?

  31. Buckybone

    Glad to see Billie’s adjusting well.

  32. Crumplepunch

    Billie has eschewed suicide in favour of killing literally everyone else.

    1. Swissaboo

      To be fair, Billie too is a part of everything.

      1. NoLast

        Debatable

  33. AJBulldis

    Why are sophomores so much taller than freshmen I mean come on they all stopped growing at the same time!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I know, from what I recall from my teenage years, most of us reached our adult height by about 14-16.

  34. Jimmy

    I’d hate to see what she’d say if they were Juniors or *gasp* Seniors!

  35. Gneiss

    Huh, I thought it was pronounced like “Rade-ah”. Now I know.

  36. DiDi

    Is no one else wondering what’s gonna go through Joyce’s mind hearing Billie claim she will “stab everything?”

  37. Whuldan

    Thank you for Joyce!

    It’s nice to see a fairly realistic and positive portrayal of a Christian character encountering the larger world. Some of her views are being shaken, but she’s still a genuinely caring person. A *real* Christian as opposed to a straw puppet.

    I grew up Lutheran and Baptist and have actually met *real* Christians. Along with *real* Buddhists they have been some of the best people I’ve ever met.

    So I’d like to thank you for your insight and honesty in your story-telling Mr. Willis. Well done, sir!

  38. Ray

    I feel sorry for people who can only define their lives by the friends they have and popularity and such. I tend to have the opposite problem, which is just as bad in some ways, but much less hassle overall.

  39. Kernanator

    She will find a way to stab every point in space and time simultaneously. Only then will she have enough stabbing.

    1. Heimdallw32

      Then she must stab the very -concept- of stabbing.

    2. Yotomoe

      I’m just imagining knives stetching out of Billie’s Body endlessly like Needle Kirby.

    3. Rex Hondo

      She can stab at Warp 10? Bloah.
      The real trouble starts when she starts stabbing the fourth wall.

  40. Plasma Mongoose

    Rah-Ee-Dah rhymes with Lah-De-Dah.

  41. Paul1963

    “If not,”
    “I will”
    “Stab everything.”
    …is right up there with “ALL SHALL BURN.”

  42. Sparks

    Stab stab stab…
    Stab stab stab…
    Stab all the things!

    (To the tune of “Shake Your Booty.”)

    1. Anime fan

      They could make a music video with the Dumbing cast, that’d be pretty funny.

  43. creatorx2

    I love how her eyebrows go over her glasses
    like legit
    or maybe it’s she’s so crazy her GLASSES are getting PINCHED into her FACE with RAGE

  44. Jenny Creed

    What an unfortunate time for Billie to manifest the power of the Word of God. Now she just told Joyce to “stab everything” in the voice that can’t be resisted.

    That’s what the red lettering means right?

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