176

Deadname
Posted on November 13, 2024 by David M Willis

176 thoughts on “Deadname”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    yeah, almost called it

    (it’s an obvious set-up hahaha)

    1. IntangibleMatter

      Ana Chronistic traveling through time to be anachronistic

      1. Amós Batista

        *hit imaginary Like button*

      2. DJTsurugi

        WHERE IS THE UPVOTE BUTTON!? ~<3

        1. NGPZ

          here I wondering how hard that’d actually be to do on a WordPress-powered comments section like this

        2. Needfuldoer

          There’s probably a plugin, but the usual play is to integrate Disqus and that’s just bleh.

          I like this simplicity.

  2. ValdVin

    “Wait! And Mom is living in a one-room apartment over a bowling alley, and under another bowling alley?”

    1. Doctor_Who

      In a bowling alley. She’s employed as one of the goblins who live behind each lane and set the pins back up.

      You get paid in cheese fries and can play the Simpsons arcade game every bowling alley is required to have for free, so it’s a pretty good gig.

      1. Baroncognito

        On a bowling alley. Lane 10. It’s usually pretty calm.

      2. Devin

        In a bowling alley that’s above another bowling alley and also below a third bowling alley.

        The set of bowling alleys was built by mistake.

        It was an alley oops.

        1. Lokitsu

          #Angryupvote

        2. keithcurtis

          It’s bowling alleys all the way down.

        3. thejeff

          An infinite series of bowling alleys, stretching across the multiverse.

        4. eruonna

          It was meant to be thirty bowling alleys side-by-side, but the builder held the blueprints sideways.

        5. Ana Chronistic

          Sideways Bowling from Wayside Lanes

        6. S.R.

          Downvote.

      3. Casi

        sometimes they don’t have the simpsons game, but instead they have the x-men game

        1. NGPZ

          I LOOOVE the Simpsons Arcade game

          alongside TMNT Turtles in Time, that literally my fav arcade game growing up ^^ <3

        2. mindbleach

          If the best they have is a Neo Geo, don’t eat the food.

      4. raker

        you get paid cheese fries!?! they’re only paying me regular fries!

        1. Michael Steamweed

          You guys get paid???

        2. Rook

          It’s left over cheese fries.

    2. Needfuldoer

      One is candlepin, the other is duckpin. She only plays regular 10-pin.

      1. Dana W

        I wish the nearest candlepin wasn’t half a country away.

      2. Van Jealous

        What about Canadian 5-pin bowling?

  3. Doctor_Who

    Yeah, that’s sibling energy alright.

    Names, gender expressions, and parental marital statuses may change, but fucking with those you love the most is forever.

    1. Opus the Poet

      +1??

  4. NGPZ

    sisters teasin each other just like old times ?

    *plays “Circle of Life” on hacked muzak*

    1. anon

      LOL it’s nice she has one sibling she can get along with (the others are probably going to be a bit more distant but i can imagine some not bothering to check in /keep up and be legit surprised there was a divorced like the married guy [well they got married in india but idk if he actually lives there/his wife is like indian/mixed race versus them justh aving a destination wedding])

  5. DailyBrad

    I fucking adore Jocelyn’s teasing.

    Also, I hope Jocelyn sees Becky when she’s here, too. She’s part of the family, too, after all.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yes, Becky 100% needs to be involved in this storyline.

      1. Bryy

        Twist: Becky is the one who flips out.

    2. Thag Simmons

      I want her to meet Becky’s girlfriend so badly, she’d probably reappy like Dina

      1. Chris Phoenix

        For some reason, I intuit that Jocelyne and Dina wouldn’t quite get along. Not that they’d hate each other, but I don’t think they’d have much to say to each other, or find much enjoyment in each other’s company.

        I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s that they’re both very down to earth, but in very different ways.

        1. GholaHalleck

          Jocelyne’s favorite prehistoric animals are giant sloths.

          Two houses, both alike in dignity…

  6. Synnerman

    Yay! Happy times and laughs!

  7. butts

    yeah i would 100% do that to my sibling in this scenario as well

    1. Clif

      I mean it’s almost a requirement.

  8. pope suburban

    Yeah, that tracks with her last visit to campus, when she made Joyce drag her off the fountain. I hope she really gets to revel in her sense of mischief now that she can be her authentic self. Like I’m sure it was always fun, but having all that weight and pressure off has to help everything.

    1. Jamie

      Jocelyne is also the one who proposed breaking into Becky’s house to retrieve documents.

      Hijinks is definitely her thing.

      1. Throwatron

        Some girls take “be gay, do crime” as a personal challenge, and we stan that.

        1. Nymph

          The sign says Be Gay AND Do Crimes, not OR

  9. Alongcameaspider

    Not to be dramatic but I would kill and/or die for Jocelyne

    1. Clif

      You say that, but I don’t see any bodies.

      1. Yumi

        Well, maybe if you just come with me down to this dark bog…

        1. Clif

          <3

      2. Queezle

        Maybe they are just good at disposing of the evidence.

      3. Shade

        To be fair someone else got to Toedad first.

    2. Reltzik

      I notice that you didn’t attach a qualifier like “if it was necessary” to that statement.

      ….

      *slowly edges away*

      1. Miri

        Or even “if she’d appreciate it” ?

    3. FlamestAndLight

      same. love at first joke <3 Literally perfect

  10. Cassie

    Jocelyne is the perfect big sister this is the precise shit I would pull on my younger siblings (though my deadname doesn’t lend itself so well for wordplay)

    1. Casi

      A fellow Cassie!!! I love seeing someone else who chose a similar name to mine! Is yours short for Cassidy, Cassandra, or is it just Cassie? (Mine is technically short for Cassidy, but it’s also actually short for Casibylena my spacegoat shaman from WoW)

      1. Cassie

        Cassiopeia, actually! And I share the love for my fellow Cassies (and all similar spellings) ?

    2. Dana W

      It took ten years before I stopped flinching every time I heard my deadname.

      1. Nymph

        I’m three years in and still flinching (thankfully my deadname is incredibly uncommon) but good to know that it might still ease up at some point!

        1. Dana W

          I’m nearly 60 and thankfully its one of those names that has fallen out of style. Its one of the ones you never see on theme park novelties, so that helps. I changed it October 31st 2000. And Now if I try to say it it just sounds like weird sounds.

        2. Laura

          What’s weird is family members who won’t stop using it…

        3. Dana W

          People who won’t stop using it, simply stop replying to the dedname. Or leave if they do. Not been a problem for me for a long time, but do this, if they use the wrong name for you use the wrong name for them. It works I heard of one person used an air horn every time they did, wish I had had the idea. heh.

  11. Stevonnie

    I just want a solid month of Jocelyne and Joyce hanging out. ?

    1. Amós Batista

      Yes!
      My latin ass is not able to understand this costume of lost contact with our siblings because distance.
      I’m loving these sisters even more.

  12. Amós Batista

    Never mess with a writer.
    Specially if she’s your twin sister.

  13. Suet

    I really wanna get Willis for that alt-text, but the buffer’s now up until September, so I’ll never forget this.

    This is what Carol gets for intermingling Joyce’s art with Jocelyne’s.

    1. Needfuldoer

      I still stand by my “Jocelyne hid her stuff with Joyce’s for plausible deniability reasons” theory.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Honestly, I can see either being equally likely. Perhaps even both happened. Jocelyne hid her artwork in with Joyce’s, and Carol saw it and accepted it because she didn’t look closely.

        1. Morleuca

          looking closely would have require an overt act of caring, and Carol and her ilk are only interested in performative acts within their own clique. Her brain said childish drawings = Joyce, that’s it. She wouldn’t have even called it art in her own head.

  14. Charles Phipps

    Notably, their older brother isn’t doing anything to help their mother or father financially despite being rich.

    Because there’s no hate like fundamentalist love.

    1. Yumi

      Putting prayer in schools but fuck a free lunch

      1. Charles Phipps

        While all indications are that he’s a POS, I would also speculate that older brother may not like his mother much either.

        After all, I can’t imagine she approved of him marrying a non-white “foreign” woman. Christian or not.

        1. Nymphie

          Their wedding was in India, but it was never stated that she is from India herself. I just assumed she was part of the missionary group.

          Carol did however gush about how she was gonna brag about Joyce not being racist after learning her roommate is black. I know it’s different than marrying a POC into the family, but there is at least that speaking for her not being vocally against such a relationship.

        2. Yumi

          I agree with this; it seems like John and Christi go on mission trips together. Also, “Christi” isn’t a particularly Indian name– not that it can’t be, but it doesn’t point in that direction.

        3. Shade

          Yeah… I can definitely see her being the “Not in my family” type though. Some racists are extremely worried about their grandkids not being white.

          And honestly that statement indicates she’s definitely some flavour of racist.

        4. Thag Simmons

          I do like the idea that even the brother who stayed in the Church is on the rocks with their parents though, but yeah, it’s not the most parsimonius reading

    2. StClair

      “God helps those who help themselves.”

      if you were really a good person, you would be prosperous; guess you’re not, hm?

    3. Sirksome

      Lol. I wonder how the church nearly going under to bail out Ross hurts his skimming off the top? Or was he part of a different church? I don’t remember. Or even really give a shit.

      1. Casi

        i think he may have been higher up in the church heirarchy. Like the equivalent of a deacon or bishop or something. someone who oversees multiple churches.

        1. Jon

          I got the impression he wasn’t necessarily a leader, just a missionary. Possibly not even affiliated directly with the church. Maybe that’s wrong though.

          Lots of missionary operations are independent-ish but get support from numerous churches, even across denominations. Plenty of donations to skim off the top still, but no leadership of a congregation.

          In my experience (see: my entire childhood), evangelical Protestant institutions are very decentralized, but still support each other significantly. As long as you’re even close to the “right” kind of Christian, you can get a chance to pitch your mission work to a congregation and solicit donations.

        2. yak

          Yeah my distant relatives were “missionaries” in Austria, they would travel back to the states every once in a while and ask various churches for donations. As far as I know they barely had any other contact with the churches, or us for that matter.

  15. AbacusWizard

    Jocelyne’s sense of humor is my new favorite character.

    I mean, really, “just been joshin’ ya”? Perfect. No notes. Comedy gold. My only question is how long she’s been saving that one up.

    1. Adam Black

      But … jostling was RIGHT there.

      1. sultryglebe

        Or when she was Joce-leaning on Joyce on Parents Weekend.

      2. Mark

        She’s saving that one for Christmas.

      3. Bysmerian

        Jostling doesn’t work as cleanly in meaning IMHO, especially written instead of spoken

  16. IntangibleMatter

    Jocelyne can really sell a bit, good on her.

  17. Opus the Poet

    Some of us had to actually get killed to have a deadname ??.

    1. Felian

      uh, some of us (trans people) *also* got killed on top of having a deadname. *Because* we have a deadname.

    2. Nymph

      This is a super weird thing to say and I’m not sure what your deal is.

      1. Taffy

        Opus once got hit by a truck and died, as I recall.

        1. Clif

          Oddly enough, Taffy is being serious here.

  18. EtchJetty

    god im so smiling right now. i had such a bad night but this is so great

    1. Laura

      Glad to hear you smile. Sorry it was a bad night.

  19. temporaryobsessor

    Can’t tell if she knew about the divorce or not.

    1. KM

      Pretty sure that’s feigned ignorance judging by the last panel XD

    2. Queezle

      After reading the hover-text, I am pretty sure she is just messing with Joyce. And I love her for it.

    3. Michael Steamweed

      Mighty bold of you to use that cursed image for your gravatar! :O

      1. Clif

        I can’t tell who you are replying to. There are several candidates.

    4. Shade

      Really? I thought it was pretty clear she knew by the way she’s giggling.

      1. Shade

        Plus Joe’s comment at the end saying this part was accurate. Implying he’s talking about her shenanigans.

  20. Sirksome

    The Brown family reunion should be interesting.

    1. tim gueguen

      I’m still hoping for a Jordan appearance. But it’s just as likely he’ll be like the Furlings on Stargate: SG1, mentioned but never seen.

      1. drs

        well there’s an analogy I didn’t expect today

      2. tbf

        I suspect Jordan’s story is on hold due to (a) Willis’s knowledge that they’re not done learning and growing, so Jordan is a placeholder to explore a future phase of their life or (b) a character that Willis is waiting to introduce until they don’t have to explain it to their parents.

        1. Sirksome

          Considering one child is atheist, and another is a trans woman, I can’t imagine what’s going on with Jordan that we haven’t seen them yet. Jordan “I’m so non traditional my mere presence would send my mom into cardiac arrest” Brown. What are you? I bet they just have a cool tattoo in an obvious place and occasionally like kissing people that share their gender.

        2. Sillygoose

          I’m going with a very tame “joined the Satanic Temple and became a stay-at-home dad. Possibly with a partner who is not white and/or is an elected representative for the Dems”

        3. Felian

          Yeah, somehow my theory is that he married a woman of color or even *gasp* a person of a different religion. Reminds me of the Youtube Series Out With Dad: the older brother of one of the protagonists got abandoned by their conservative christian family because he married a muslim woman. Still straight, still married, still living that super normal life the parents wanted for their children, but with the “wrong kind” of partner (according to their faith).

          And i suppose whatever Jordan did isn’t worse than what Joyce or Jocelyne did, it just was *the first child acting up* so the parents/mom had the most disproportionate response to it.

        4. thejeff

          My longtime crack theory is that he joined a Christian church that’s way too right wing and culty even for Carol.

          What actually weirds me out is how young he must have been, if he’s between Joyce and Jocelyne and Joyce was young enough to not know what it was all about.

    2. Bryy

      I highly doubt Carol would be invited. Or go.

  21. staszu13

    At last a good Joyce Face

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Not quite the full silent scream we have seen before, but close enough. Our fix is received. Relief is at hand.

  22. Taffy

    His hands are fucking enormous. He could encase Joyce’s entire torso with them easily.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Firmly, but gently.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/hands-3/

      1. Schpoonman

        “Firmly grasp it. Them. Me.”

        1. Needfuldoer

          Firmly grasp it!

  23. Chaucer59

    Yep. Definitely siblings.

  24. Armadillo

    Joe’s reaction to this feels very similar to my reaction when my sister announced her girlfriend (boyfriend at the time) was transitioning. Just a lot of confusion and treading very lightly. For me it went something along the lines of: “You’re… okay with this? Going to therapy, okay, that’s probably good. Still… committed? Okay, good for you, let’s just carry on then.” Followed by time spent mentally reprogramming: ‘girlfriend. It’s girlfriend now. Not boyfriend. And we don’t use that name anymore.’

  25. Queen Anthai

    I love it I love it I love it

  26. Throwatron

    im not going to survive this storyline

  27. DJTsurugi

    everything about this page is great, including the alt-text. Jocelyn is great… that is all. ~<3

  28. Rabid Rabbit

    I like that’s it’s been established from the start that Jocelyn likes teasing Joyce. Well, as of their 17th appearance, at least. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/chattin/

    It’s just a nice touch among all the ways Willis is making sure this goes as smoothly as possible. (Because man, if you start tallying up all the Hands of God in this…)

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      *her* 17th appearance. Gah, sorry, not sure why I did that.

      1. Smallmoon

        In your defense, that particular scene was

        1: before we knew she was ‘she’ and not ‘he’
        2: She’s currently in “boy mode” because she’s not out to her family

        so some would argue that your slip of the fingers (rather than tongue) is actually in keeping with best practices for ‘don’t out people to their families.

        1. Throwatron

          Yeah, it can be very weird when someone who you’ve known as one gender for genuinely decades transitions; it’s accurate that they’ve always been their actual gender, but there’s also this entire period of your life, where the context is inescapably that they are the wrong gender for that period of your life. It makes it difficult to share stories about your shared past, in certain contexts, because, do you vaguely dead-gender them to share the story, or do you unintentionally out them by sharing the story with their real gender…but now the story comes out kind of weird, because “wait you were rough-housing at a sleepover with one of your girl friends when you were 14? and you broke her nose? what the fuck, dude?”

          Getting all the details of someone you love’s gender correct, isn’t going to always be easy or immediate, because you care about them, and you have a strong concept of who you thought they were inside you; but, with a little practice, it comes naturally faster than anybody ever thinks it will. But little slips and mistakes in the initial phase, are practically inevitable.

          If you want a real nightmare, try having a friend transition only in some spaces, and then you gotta interact with them in two different spaces, with two different genders, even though one of those is a fake one. It’s really mind-bending to switch pronouns 2-3 times a day, for a person who you know, really hates being referred to as one of those two genders. It’s stressful, and it hurts. But you gotta do what you gotta do for your loved ones!

      2. DJTsurugi

        it’s also perfectly acceptable to you they/them if you are unsure of someone’s pronouns. so I think you’re good either way. ~<3

        1. DJTsurugi

          to use… I swear my fingers recently have betrayed me so much. ~<3

    2. Queezle

      Wow, seeing those side by side, it is crazy how much the art style changed since then.

    3. Michael Steamweed

      No problem with the “their”. The word is useful as a generic pronoun.
      If you don’t know a more specific pronoun, “their” can be used as a placeholder (likewise “them”).

      1. Yumi

        On the other hand, if you do know the person’s pronoun(s) and those don’t include “they/them,” there actually *is* a problem with “their.” Some people will use they/them instead of a trans person’s correct pronouns; I especially hear about this from trans women. If you know someone’s a “she/her,” use her correct pronouns.

        It’s not a big deal here, but I think Rabid Rabbit was right to make the correction.

    4. PedanticJerkass

      Joyce should wear that Monkey Master shirt again sometime.

      (I wonder why he wasn’t tagged in that one. He’s just as “there” in that one as he was in the “Monkey Master socks” one, possibly even more so.)

  29. Aquila

    Kind of … unexpected that Joyce didn’t ask what a deadname is.
    Now I have to wonder, is it because she already knew, because she inferred from context, or is she gonna run back upstairs to ask Carla.

    1. Miri

      She did do Gender Studies 101 so she probably knows?

      1. Icalasari

        Oh right, not all of the Gender Studies classes are on screen. I forgot

    2. Needfuldoer

      She probably learned from Leslie at some point.

  30. GUIGUI

    Siblings at the heart.

  31. ADLegend21

    Ha, fuckin got ‘er!

  32. CianM1301

    See, now if Joyce tells Jocelyne that Mom sold their house, she won’t be able to tell if the reaction is genuine or not.

  33. Zamperla

    Incredibly high grade Big Sibling Nonsense. Also great use of a one time life event (parents divorce) you only get one shot at that one.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      And one-time-only brilliance at the use of “I’ve just been Joshin’ ya.”

  34. Jodka

    So is it pronounced Jah-seh-lin, Joe-seh-lin, or Josh-seh-lin?

    1. Michael Steamweed

      I know a “Jocelyn”. (without the second ‘e’). That one pronounces the name as “Jahs/uh/lin”.

    2. Needfuldoer

      I mentally read it with a soft C, “joh-suh-lynn” because the C is followed by an E. A hard C would make it sound closer to “Jacqueline”.

      Unless it’s one of those “Celtic” vs “Boston Celtics” pronunciation things.

  35. Michael Steamweed

    Ahhh, yesss…proceeding exactly as hoped for. 😀

  36. Zaxares

    OK, I’m liking Jocelyne. 🙂 Her brand of humour is right up my alley.

  37. RocketRelm

    I’m increasingly noticing that Joe seems… emotionally muted? Not smiling, not doing any expressions. An undertone of worry.

    1. Charles Phipps

      I imagine Joe feels like he’s been dropped into the deep end of a big family revelation.

      1. Shade

        Yeah, he’s not doing too badly though. I imagine Jocelyne liked that last joke at least,

        I think he’s letting Joyce take the lead because after all its her family.

    2. Arianod

      He’s being *very* careful in an extremely delicate situation that he’s completely unprepared for. I suspect I’d be the same.

    3. Mark

      That would be me. “I have no idea what to do here, so do nothing until someone tells me.”

    4. thumb

      eh, he’s third wheeling it. Not really a situation that has anything to do with him right now. Just family drama. Just chip in every now and then to say “I’m also here.”

      1. Thag Simmons

        Also avoiding putting his foot in his mouth in front of someone he’d like to make a good first impression with.

  38. Shade

    Jocelyne wrote a whole stand up routine for this didn’t she?

  39. Schpoonman

    Get wrecked, Joyce.

  40. Willow

    I’m tearing up right now. This page is so SO awesome. And yay Joyce for handling it this way.

    1. Lanie

      I feel the same way! Like, I love the sibling bond they’ve got, and I love how quickly they seem to have just stepped right back into it with almost no delay. I did not expect to tear up, but here we are!

  41. Xine Fury

    I think I have a new favorite character now.

  42. Matrix

    Perfect. This is perfect.

  43. Tesset

    Last few pages have been so fun that it’s almost certainly going to be encouragement for everyone to vote Jocelyne in all the patreon comics every other month lol

    I fear we’re about to enter a dark time of alternating Dina/Jocelyne comics for a good while

    1. Yumi

      Feel like the Patreon has been clamoring for more Jocelyne for a while now.

      1. Taffy

        Which one?

      2. Tesset

        Oh yeah, and wow is this not going to discourage that lol

      3. Thag Simmons

        You guys haven’t been able to vote for her for five years, gotta make up for lost time

    2. Amós Batista

      Hope Jocelyne appears more than this storyline.

      1. Thag Simmons

        I assume she’s more of a Liz than a Becky, but we’ll probably have her around for a bit. The next chapter title sounds like something to do with her, if nothing else

  44. Felian

    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU JOYCE!
    This is how you react to a trans coming out.
    Everyone, take notes!

    “Joe, this ist my sister, Jocelyne”.
    Everything will be okay <3

  45. BorkBorkBork

    This has “OMG my legs appear to have stopped working for some unknown reason” vibes all over it.

  46. thakoru

    I have known a non-zero number of trans people whose name is fully a pun on their deadname.

  47. Terah

    Had a friend discover she was trans after a very traumatic incident that she needed therapy to get over. It opened up a lot of things about herself she’d found uncomfy, but she’s good now! When she was trying to figure out her new name, she knew she didn’t want her deadname to have any part of it, so she was asking for names. She took the one I picked, and it’s still something I’m very proud of, that I got to name my friend.

    1. Yumi

      Very cute! Sometimes my friends get comments about how people like their name, and they’ll be like, “Thanks, I chose it myself!” (My name is more common but not for “girls,” so sometimes I get comments about “girls having that name,” and I’m just like, “Yeah, girls can have that name, and also that’s not what’s happening here.”)

  48. Waffliesinyoface

    i cant believe jocelyne is already the best character, incredible

  49. Call Me Deacon Blues

    Welp, it’s official, I am definitely definitely in love with Jocelyn. I always knew I liked her, but this has taken her over the top.

  50. Bryy

    Calling it right now: Jordan didn’t do anything especially bad.

    He’s just an atheist.

    1. Dana W

      Nothing wrong with us atheists. But we are a sneaky bunch, we have all day Sunday to plot and plan.

    2. Mr. Random

      I’m not really sure.
      When Joyce’s parents learned Dorothy was an atheist they just sorta told her parents they thought it was a rebellious phase.
      They didn’t become uncomfortable until after the whole thing became clear she really was.
      I think their initial reaction would’ve been as blase, if they had essentially disowned one kid for atheism already. They’d have been much more protective of Joyce.

  51. Ash

    I need a gay Joe.

  52. a/snow/mous/e

    they’re all so cute TwT

  53. FlamestAndLight

    Oh no Jocelyne is perfect and I’m in love D:

  54. JasonAW3

    Welll… I gotta admit, that’s a hell of a way to defuse what could have become a very uncomfortable situation…

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