146

Benefactor
Posted on May 16, 2019 by David M Willis
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146 thoughts on “Benefactor”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    avoidance and paying others off

    Such congressional material!

    1. LookingIn

      And not even her money- it’s the campaign’s money! Definitely Congressional material, she has “spending other people’s’ money” down pat!

      1. Ellegos

        Nature of Campaign Expenditure: Campaign Manager hiring and relocation expenses.

  2. BBCC

    Aw, Becky, I don’t think Leslie would be too mad.

    Robin, suck eggs.

    1. ValdVin

      I thought the Cadbury creme was too thick to suck out of the chocolate.

      Oh, wait…

      1. Doctor_Who

        Robin once sucked an entire Snickers bar that was being worn by Leslie off in a nanosecond.

        That sentence probably sounds really weird if you haven read Shortpacked. I have read Shortpacked, and it sounds weird to me too.

        1. Kat

          Really? Cause it just sounded like something from the Slipshine section that I missed to me.

        2. ValdVin

          No, it’s family-friendly. Okay, it’s SFW.

          At any rate, it starts here: https://shortpacked.com/index.php?id=846

    2. Batz

      She had that Cadbury Creme Egg in her mouth before you finished that sentence.

    3. Cattleprod

      Sucking eggs is in fact her plan, yes.

    4. BBCC

      Clarification: A normal, protein based egg. Not a cadbury creme one. She doesn’t deserve any of those, so I’m confiscating them.

      1. ShinyNeen

        Geez, Robin without cadbury creme eggs? Would she even be the same person?

        1. BBCC

          I’m hoping she’d be less garbage-y, yes.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          idk, I ate a bunch of real actual chicken eggs since they’re low/no sodium, and then I found out I have like 400 cholesterol ?

        3. BBCC

          Well, if Robin’s heart explodes, she won’t be able to be a homophobic asshole.

          I hope you’re feeling better, though. That sounds unpleasant.

  3. Doctor_Who

    Flanders voice: They warned me Satan would be attractive!

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      “Mrs. Robinson Representative DeSanto, are you trying to seduce me?”

      1. Dean

        This is getting more and more of a sugar daddy vibe.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, ew. You’re not wrong.

        2. thejeff

          It is, but I think it’s a metaphorical sugar daddy vibe, not a sexual one.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Listen, there’s nothing sexual about Robin buying an 18 year old girl an apartment she spends the night in as well as large amounts of presents after breaking up with her first lesbian attraction.

          …

        4. thejeff

          It would certainly look that way from outside, but I don’t think it actually is.

          Could be wrong of course.

        5. Freemage

          Yeah, I think this is a case of Robin’s situational blindness kicking in again–she, herself, can’t see how horrible this is going to look to anyone other than herself, because she can’t see things from other people’s view at all.

          She has no grasp of context, and so when she does a thing, it’s just a thing.

        6. Sunny

          If those cadbury eggs are any indication it might be a literal sugar mommy vibe.

  4. AeromechanicalAce

    Money before human decency.

    Robin’s GOP material Alright…

  5. Batz

    There’s that eyebrow, again!

  6. Cattleprod

    “The house is dirty, time to abandon it and buy a new one.”
    “The car’s out of gas, push it in a ditch and buy a new one.”
    “It’s tax time, better fake my death.”
    And so on.

    1. thejeff

      “Spending a year dead for tax purposes”

      1. Opus the Poet

        I understood that reference.

  7. Kensou

    Bad influence! Bad influence!

  8. Danielle

    is she trying to be a good role model?

    1. Batz

      In her own Robin-y way, yes.
      Yes she is.

      1. Danielle

        robins not wrong, becky doesnt have to have that conversation if she doesnt want to

        1. Yet Another Laura H.

          Well, I hope that she has at least let Lesiie know that she is okay. Aside from the obvious, when someone goes out of their mind with worry for your actual well-being right after people have “gone out of their minds with worry” that you are having independent, healthy thoughts that don’t fit into an abusive dynamic, things can get a little claustrophobic in one’s head.

        2. thejeff

          She kind of does. At least enough of it to get her stuff and let Leslie know she’s okay. Just ghosting on someone who’s given you a place to stay without a word isn’t cool.
          If she wants to try to do that without telling her about Robin, I guess that’s okay, but it’ll probably backfire.
          Of course, she’s had a press conference with Robin, so Leslie probably already knows, which’ll make the conversation even more awkward.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      I don’t think Robin knows the definition of the phrase “good role model” let alone how to act like one. She just fed her “ward” cadbury creme eggs for breakfast.

      1. Danielle

        at least becky did have breakfast

    3. Fart Captor

      She’s trying to be Becky’s Cool Aunt. Bein’ a good role model is for boring responsible people

  9. Kamino Neko

    No, Becky…stay strong…the strings attached to this are obvious.

    1. Shane Wegner

      “Quiet, I’m trying to get Elan to tacitly acknowledge my authority.” – dictator Tarquin, tempting his son with Rings of a regeneration and the like, Order of the Stick

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Becky, part of being an adult is having awkward conversations. Don’t give in to the desire to just take the easy way out and ignore the problem. Talking with Leslie will not be that bad, I promise.

    1. ShinyNeen

      That’s solid advice… that Becky would never hear coming from Robin.

    2. Schpoonman

      I just dealt with my landlord insulting me for 30 minutes for not wanting to spray down my currently antless countertop with Raid. I did ask for his help with the recurring problem, but he handed me that and disinfectant spray, telling me they kill ants on contact, expecting me to leave the space where I prepare food and use dishes covered in poison.

      My dad is moving back into town in two weeks, and he wants me to just not rock the boat and I’ll move back in with him, but this asshole is JUST like my last roommate, and I won’t let this happen to me anymore.

      1. ian livs

        Oh wow, that is some bullshit. Please do NOT spray your dishes with poison.

      2. Adam Black

        Want Tips?

        Your countertop isn’t really Clean. It’s now covered in ant pheromones highways. Scrub it and bleach it good to remove them.
        ( Your LL is an idiot )

        Use the raid only for cracks in wall, floor and under doors where they get in.
        Be absolutely ruthless in bleaching the invisible ant tracks they leave. These attract more ants to follow.

        1. Adam Black

          There is probably an ? pheromone remover which is nontoxic. The pheromones are why they come back.

        2. Agemegos

          Any of the kitchen cleaning prays that contains ammonia will do the job.

        3. SillyGoose

          Try cinnamon. Not kidding : they hate the stuff, you can use it block them. It won’t kill them obivously but they’ll go invade somone else.

          …
          maybe you can redirect them to your landlord’s bed!

        4. TemperaryObsessor

          I’m pretty sure eliminating the trail only really slows down ants they come back either because you have open food, water, shelter or they happen to have a nearby colony.
          First try to find out where they are coming from.
          Second keep your place clean.
          Third bait them see the internet for instructions.
          Forth after your pretty sure the bait worked or is not going to work seal of any enterence point for ants and use deterrents where you can’t seal them off.

        5. Inahc

          So… Anyone know how to seal off a hole that’s under a radiator? With carpet right up to the wall?

        6. Inahc

          More tips: find where the ants enter, and out out a mix of borax and icing sugar. I’ve done that the last few springs (landlord hasn’t patched the holes and I don’t know how to do it properly) and after a half dozen ants die they seem to give up on my apartment.

          Just remember to keep the poison mix somewhere it won’t fall into innocent hands; borax isn’t great for humans either.

        7. Felian

          i’m so glad i’m getting totally comic-unrelated life tips here. will remember that for the next ant plague at my work place!

          … also less serious suggestion: get a pet ant eater! And don’t wipe off the ant pheromones so you don’t have to buy it extra food!

      3. ValdVin

        Diatomaceous earth is a substance that can be put some places and will kill ants and is not something like poisonous insect spray. I’m not saying to dust your counters with it, but it may have uses in your situation. Look it up.

      4. Moon

        Ants also do not like peppermint. I put peppermint oil in the corners of my room and my windowsill (because that’s where i think they’re getting in? and areas most likely to have hard to get Crumbs) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  11. ShinyNeen

    I see Robin’s gonna slide into this whole “replacing Leslie as Becky’s caretaker” thing very, uh… subtly.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    Go and git it–with your good Credit
    No limits–with your good Credit
    (Don’t leave home withou~ou~out it!)

    1. ValdVin

      Sounds like you’re on the way to a re-lyric take on Badfinger’s Come and Get it.

  13. Kern Wallace

    This sounds like something that rhymes with “thribe”.

    1. Danielle

      scribe

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      …I mean, Becky already accepted the huge monetary rewards for betraying her principles, and “let’s ditch church and hit the mall” seems like a fairly okay thing to be bribed for. It’s only not okay for Robin to bribe her for this if her conviction is strong enough to turn it down.

    3. Delicious Taffy

      Diatribe, subscribe, imbibe, tribe, jibe?

    4. FacelessDeviant

      Guessing from context

      Mistranscribe

  14. Woomy

    DRESS-UP MONTAGE

    1. Hazel

      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover!
      Yeah, yeah, yeah~
      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover, Makeover,
      Makeover!
      For you and me~

      1. Kamino Neko

        … ILU.

        1. Hazel

          ( ˘ ³˘)♥

      2. Inahc

        Whyyyy do I know that tune!?

      3. StClair

        Nice ref.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Becky comes out in outlandish outfit, Robin shakes her head, repeat.

      1. Needfuldoer

        They hit the hair salon at JCPenney.
        We get a brief shot of Becky with just one half of Robin’s hairstyle. Becky looks like she doesn’t want to be there, the hairdresser is puzzled, Robin’s in the background beaming.
        Cut to Becky (with her normal hair again) physically dragging an irate, yelling Robin out of the salon.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      Come on and dress me! Dress me! Dress me in my finest array,
      ‘Cause just in case you haven’t heard today is do-mi-do day;
      Dress me in my silver garters, dress me in my diamond studs,
      ‘Cause I’m going do-mi-do-ing in my do-mi-do duds!

      1. Charles Kuhman

        Hans Conried at his best, FTW

      2. ValdVin

        This movie was a trip and a half.

  15. Claire

    hmmmmmmmmmm Robin’s not the best role model for impulsive Becky…

  16. BarerMender

    Wait, does Leslie even know where Becky is? Beck, you can’t leave Leslie worr– Oh, wait. Leslie must have seen or heard about Becky on the news.

    1. Fart Captor

      I dunno if that’d actually make Leslie worry less. What if Robin tried to bake again?

  17. DailyBrad

    Becky’s expression in the second to last panel is difficult for me to read, though it appears to be a tempted lip bite. Still, her eyes do look pained.

    Robin’s motives, again, do puzzle me. She seems to have some genuine affection for Becky, so is she *trying* to do right by her in her own way? Or is it all about what Becky can do for her? If so, and I admit, it obviously could just be that, then she’s going above and beyond what she’d need to do to protect her investment, but why?

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      I think her motive is she wants an excuse to go shopping.

    2. Anon a Mouse

      I think people are reading too much into Robin in this one particular instance. It seems to me she’s genuinely trying to “help” Becky, just in terrible horrible ways.

  18. HeatherJean

    Bah! Now I want some Cadbury Creme Eggs….

    1. Woomy

      This is marketing. You think Willis makes his entire living off magnets and comic books you can read for free?

      1. Khyrin

        You’re forgetting his role as an internet cartoon pornlord/smutbaron.

  19. abysswatcher1993

    Remind me who is the adult and who is the kid? Becky is more mature than Robin, and should probably not spend money until she sees results.

  20. Fart Captor

    It breaks my heart to think that Becky might be so afraid of what Leslie would think of her working on Robin’s campaign that she hasn’t even told her she’s moving out 🙁

    I totally get it, avoidance feels like a more feasible plan than it is when it lets you delay finding out whether or not you’ve just lost the respect of someone you really admire. I wouldn’t be surprised if Leslie was the biggest reason she wanted to keep her role in Robin’s reelection campaign secret.

    The saddest part is that I doubt Leslie would judge. And she’s gotta be worried sick that something terrible has happened

    1. Hazel

      Leslie is one of the few people that have been supportive of Becky. After losing her mum, her church, her (fecking evil) dad, she doesn’t have many connections in her life, especially good, responsible adults. I can imagine her not wanting to face another person turning her back on her (which I assume she worries will happen) even if she hasn’t known Leslie long.

      So! Avoidance! Can’t get hurt if you never see the person again!

      1. Fart Captor

        Well, almost everyone she’s met since coming to Bloomington has been really supportive, but yeah. She’s clearly been burned for trusting adults more often than not. Probably not ONLY her dad’s fault there

        Ironically it was probably a lot less scary for her to face Hank. She could live with him rejecting her for being gay even though she clearly hoped he wouldn’t. This would be totally different with Leslie. This would be over something Becky’s afraid is a totally valid reason to cast her out, and it could mean she’d be a pariah from a community she still wants to belong to

        I just wanna hug her and then make her go hug Leslie

  21. Catman

    Does… Robin not have any friends?

    It really seems like she just wants Becky to come shopping with her, like she doesn’t normally have anyone to hangout with.

    It’s sad in a cute way.
    Or cute in a sad way.
    It’s definitely something in a something way.

    1. Marisa Mockery

      Robin’s own sister hates her. I think she’s trying to create a new Aide who will always stand by her, and manipulation and bribery are a good start. I like Shortpacked! Robin, but I seriously question if DoA Robin has a soul.

      1. Bagge

        I think you are exactly right there. Robin wants a new aide. She wants a new friend. She wants a pal… a gal being her pal…

        Like, I don’t think Robin has the hots for Becky at all, but I do think she tries to recreate all those OTHER things she kinda wanted from Leslie. Living together, playing house. Watching Steven Universe (with or without handholding). Gals being pals.

        And being Robin, she goes about it in a messed up way.

        1. thejeff

          Or, is this all aimed at Leslie in some twisted fashion we can’t quite see yet?

        2. Bagge

          It’s absolutely something that will force Leslie to pay attention to her.

          But as always with Robin, it’s very hard to figure out if she understands that herself.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Becky is her Leslie substiute.

          Robin doesn’t realize Becky kind of hates her, though.

        4. Bagge

          I mean, she didn’t understand that Leslie kind of hates her politics either.

        5. thejeff

          No, I don’t think that’s it. Even on whatever level of subtext is going on in Robin’s sub conscious.

          Whatever there is that’s going on beyond “Get the one who’s making me twitter-popular to do more of her magic” it’s about Leslie, not replacing her with Becky.

        6. C.T Phipps

          I don’t think Robin is in love with Leslie yet. She’s also I think probably in her mid-twenties and not that much older than Becky that it’s a weird friendship.

        7. BBCC

          Robin is thirty.

    2. Keulen

      Based on what we’ve seen of her in DoA so far, I’d be surprised if Robin has any friends.

    3. Bagge

      She has a friend.

      Lamp.

  22. DaveM

    “Yes Becky, buy your way out of dealing with things and your journey to the dark side will be complete. Uh, and get more creme eggs while you’re out, like as many as you can carry.”

  23. Tacos

    Can Robin even afford anything? Didn’t most if not all of her political sponsors drop her?

    1. Bagge

      I doubt she has bothered to check.

    2. drs

      She does have a $174,000 Congressional salary.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Plus a rather large staff budget. The point is she has access to lots of money if she hasn’t managed to fritter it completely away. Then again this is a conversation about Robin and money…

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Why do I suspect that credit card is tied to a campaign fund?

      Even evil people have supporters, many of whom are generous with their dark money.  You don’t think Trump actually paid for his campaign with his own money (although he said he would — “I don’t need anybody’s money.  I’m using my own money.  I’m not using the lobbyists.  I’m not using donors.” — when he announced his candidacy at a speech/rally at Trump Tower in NYC on 6/16/2015) and whatever he made selling those MAGA hats?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Those hats are fucking atrocious, by the way. Not only for their message, either. Just from a basic aesthetic point of view, they’re downright ugly. Bright red with the shittiest plain white text, fucking gag me. I bet they’re dirt cheap to manufacture, too.

        1. thejeff

          In China, of course.

  24. Dara

    Having been in a situation not entirely unlike Becky’s, this is fucking mean and whatever remaining sympathy I had for Robin from Shortpacked is completely fucking gone.

    1. C.T Phipps

      A rich Republican Senator with boundary issues offered to pay for all of your clothes if you agreed to be her bestie?

      1. BBCC

        She’s a Congresswoman, not a Senator.

  25. Bagge

    A very Robin solution.

  26. J

    So I guess my ‘I do not like these folks at all’ list is now Malaya, Rachel, and Robin. (Not counting Actual Evil People like Toedad and co. That’s a separate list.)

  27. 1 2 2 50 in Roman numerals

    So has becky told dina or leslie any of this yet

    1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      Probably not.
      Your name is I II II L? i don’t get it

      1. dethtoll

        Would you say you’re at a loss?

      2. Icalasari

        It’s based on the heavily memed Crtl+Alt+Del comic, specifically where Ethan runs in and sees his wife crying in bed over a miscarriage. It was so out of left field – especially with the recycled mouths and sometimes cheap yet comedic look of the comic that it was instantly memed

        | || || |_ is how each panel was broken down – first has Ethan burst into the hospital, second has him asking front desk for directions (hence why some variants are | |l || |_ – The receptionist is sitting and as such is a shorter line), third is him asking a doctor which room, and fourth is him standing over his wife who is laying in bed crying. It was all speechless too, making it even easier to distill into simple lines

    2. Keulen

      I didn’t realize your name is loss until now.

  28. Opus the Poet

    Another detached eyebrow symbiote.

  29. ktbear

    Well, in all fairness to Robin, it was Becky who wanted to avoid Leslie. Sure, Robin could have been the responsible adult here but we all knew that was never going to happen.

  30. BenRG

    I’m thinking that Becky is now getting an insight into the economic factors that made Robin deSanto who she is.

  31. Nobody

    I think Becky realizes Robin isn’t exactly role model material

  32. TheLurkerAbove

    Wow, starting them young eh?

  33. Mr. Random

    Robin, the best and worst examples for arrested development.

  34. NinjaNick

    Resist and run for your life, Becky.

  35. BenRG

    Am I the only one who is reading panel 6 as Robin saying: “Come on, forget your principles and join me in the wondrous existence of public service, where you can spend the rest of your life living luxuriously off of other people’s money in exchange for kissing babies and making vapourware promises!”

    1. JBento

      You are not.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Good for Becky. Do it!

  36. Shane Wegner

    Becky can’t (well shouldn’t) just vanish with no explanation from her previous couch life. For the moment, Becky is doing better than the average homeless teen.

  37. Darkoneko

    Becky nooooo

  38. Reltzik

    Seriously, Becky, at least text Leslie saying something about having found a new job with a new place to live before she gets worried as shit and reports you as a missing person to the police.

    (You know, in case Leslie’s set all her social media to filter out all Desanto tags because YEESH that was a scary house guest.)

  39. TheFlamingonator

    becky, don’t fall for it. if its that easy to get money its a scam!

  40. C.T Phipps

    I wonder if Becky realizes Robin is trying to buy her friendship or if Robin realizes Becky kind of hates her.

  41. Solenoid

    Ah, avoidance.

  42. kilgaen

    You know, I was thinking Becky had this on lock, but Robin is surprisingly good at corruption. I suppose she needed to have one skill.

    1. C.T Phipps

      I don’t see anything of what Robin is doing here as bad.

      1. BenRG

        It isn’t; not yet. However, she’s giving Becky a taste of the political nectar (something that she takes without a flicker of conscience) and it could very easily weaken Becky’s own resolve. In the end, few of us would reject an easy and luxurious life if it was offered.

  43. RacingTurtle

    In this edition of “Becky’s 40 Days in the Desert”, the part of SATAN will be played by Robin DeSanto.

    1. BenRG

      Or at least Robin deSanto’s credit card.

  44. StClair

    “Shake my hand. Come on, girl: won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?”

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Robin: “I have friends on the other side.”

      Robin is trafficking drugs with a Mexican cartel.

      1. C.T Phipps

        It’s the French Canadian Hispanic cartel from Riverdale that Veronica’s dad belongs to.

    2. He Who Abides

      @StClair – “Are you re-aday?”

  45. nightshade

    what I’m wondering is no one on campus or in town watches the news which would have shown the press conference? its been at least 1 or 2 days in the strip since that happened so it would be everywhere (especially in Indiana where a lgtb friendly senator would be news of the decade (

    I’m thinking this is going to tie in with the thing at the church from the other day …

    1. Lone Duck

      Colleges exist in a unique bubble state. A lot of students in dorms don’t watch much TV. What TV they do watch is usually for leisure, not news. Not saying some people wouldn’t be aware of local political news, but the majority are occupied with school and social life. That’s just my post-college take on it.

    2. thejeff

      And, while it would likely spread – on social media as well as TV news, it was only yesterday. The meeting at Galassos, the press conference and the new apartment were all yesterday. This is early the next morning.

      But yeah, if no one else knows, Roz does. She pays attention to news about her sister.

      1. ktbear

        And Dorothy. Or should I say Dotty?

  46. Kaidah

    Never do today what you can put off ’till tomorrow.

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