I find it amusing that even though Joe’s sworn off his pre-marital hanky pankish ways, he’s still walking around with a STUDent shirt.
Like, he went through his laundry pile (all college students keep their laundry in pile form, it is known), and this was the least The Todd-like clean thing that he owns. It was either this or the Bone “Dig It” one.
I thought The Todd was a sex stuff store. One of the YouTube guys I follow shops there from time to time. All I get from Google is some guy from a doctor show.
How about some mutual blame?
Obviously, nothing would have happened if she’d kept her shoes on, but if he hadn’t yelled at her, but approached her more gently, he could have told her to put her shoes back on without anything happening.
Heavensrun
Why does there have to be blame in the first place? She made a mistake and hurt her toe in an accident. Blaming Joe does absolutely nothing productive, especially since he was just acting out of concern for her.
thejeff
Blaming rarely does anything productive, but it’s a very human reaction. Even you’re doing it – putting the blame entirely on her.
I mean, she’s overreacting by blaming Joe, but people here are overreacting the other way by absolving him entirely.
Well, she was in shock earlier this morning. She was in denial about her toenail falling off a moment ago. Now she’s moved on to anger. Obviously, this is the 5 stages of toe-grief.
The real person to blame here is the single celled organism that split (or maybe absorbed a smaller organism gaining its genetic traits?) millions to billions of years ago and kickstarted the evolutionary process that would eventually lead to Joyce getting her toe injured.
Passchendaele
The real person to blame here is the world that allowed that organism to develop, start an evolutionary process, and cause Joyce to break her toe.
Yumi
The real person to blame here is the Big Bang.
For being a mediocre TV show.
GoblinScribe
The real person to blame here is Sheldon Cooper.
BAZINGO
Clif
The real person to blame here is Mike for occupying Ethan’s attention so he wouldn’t be in the exercise room being distracted by Jacob and preemptively saving Joyce’s toe.
Or alternately you could blame Dr Who for taking Mike back in time to meet up with Sheldon Cooper’s mom.
For a nickle.
Keulen
Joyce doesn’t believe in evolution, so for her the real person to blame is God for creating people with toes that can be broken so easily.
Passchendaele
Let there be light, and Joyce broke her toe.
brionl
Just before that…
“Ow, Me damnit. What did I just step on?”
Aaaaand we’re gonna take a quick break, folks. In the meantime, here’s a word from our sponsors.
Clif
Delicious Taffy Toe Flakes.
So good, you can’t break just one.
Needfuldoer
Have you been injured in an accident? You don’t have to suffer through it alone. Call the law offices of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe at KL5-3226. We’;ll get you the money you deserve.
Why do you have to be a Toebreaker–Is that a lesson that I never knew?–apologies to Dionne Warwick & the Bee Gees
Durandal_1707
“Your STUD(ent) is a Toe-Break-ERRRR!”
There, that’s the final version 😛
Reltzik
You’re a/
toebreaker/
gym hazard/
a distracter/
don’t you mess around with me
(Sorry, Pat.)
Chris Phoenix
Reltzik beat me to posting Pat Benatar, but it’s amazing how many things Google can find with “heartbreaker lyrics”…
Toebreaker, your time has come, can’t take your evil way;
Go away, toebreaker.
Toebreaker!
Toebreaker!
Toe!
(Led Zeppelin)
Toebreaker you’ve got the best of me
But I just keep on comin’ back incessantly
(Mariah Carey)
Don’t tell me you’re my toebreaker
Cause girl my toe’s breaking, toebreaker
(Justin Bieber)
This is how to be a toebreaker
Boys they like a little danger
We’ll get him falling for a stranger, a player
Singin’ I lo-lo-lo-love you
How to be a toebreaker
(Marina and The Diamonds)
Sensei Le Roof
Un-break my toe
Say you’ll walk me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you asked where’s my shoe
And walked into the gym
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many seconds
Un-break my toe
(with ambivalence toward Toni Braxton)
Tan
Toebreaker, toebreaker, break me a toe.
Smoosh me a bone, yell at a Joe
Toebreaker, toebreaker, it’s all your fault
You broke my poor big toe.
Sev
*joins in on the Weezer-train*
Say it ain’t Jo-o-o-o-oe
It’s his fault, he’s my blame-takerr
“If it hadn’t been for cotton eye Joe, I’d been married long time ago.
Where did you come from, where did you go.
Where did you come from, cuttin my toe”
Joe ain’t a toebreaker, she shoulda wore her shoes
Joyce ain’t the stairmaster, she had somethin to lose
“Jason, carry me to someone with aid to give”
“Your RA’s right upstairs…” “I need my femurs to live!”
193 thoughts on “Toebreaker”
Doctor_Who
I find it amusing that even though Joe’s sworn off his pre-marital hanky pankish ways, he’s still walking around with a STUDent shirt.
Like, he went through his laundry pile (all college students keep their laundry in pile form, it is known), and this was the least The Todd-like clean thing that he owns. It was either this or the Bone “Dig It” one.
Some Random Name
I didn’t keep it all in a pile… when it was dirty… and only when it was right out of the dryer…
AnvilPro
I refuse to accept that Joe has more than 2 shirts that don’t have stupid sex jokes on them
JustCheetoDust
He doesn’t hammock up, he’s not so The Todd-like after all.
LookingIn
He only wears that when he goes to the beach
Delicious Taffy
I thought The Todd was a sex stuff store. One of the YouTube guys I follow shops there from time to time. All I get from Google is some guy from a doctor show.
Charlie Spencer
Thank you for saving me the effort. Way to take one for the team.
Doctor_Who
The Todd is indeed a character from the show Scrubs.
DarkoNeko
“It’s totally Joe’s fault I was an idiot”
LaduSwala
1) Thank you
2) Bingo
I know from experience that broken toes REALLY suck, but this particular event is not Joe’s fault. Sorry Joyce, but swing and a miss.
thejeff
How about some mutual blame?
Obviously, nothing would have happened if she’d kept her shoes on, but if he hadn’t yelled at her, but approached her more gently, he could have told her to put her shoes back on without anything happening.
Heavensrun
Why does there have to be blame in the first place? She made a mistake and hurt her toe in an accident. Blaming Joe does absolutely nothing productive, especially since he was just acting out of concern for her.
thejeff
Blaming rarely does anything productive, but it’s a very human reaction. Even you’re doing it – putting the blame entirely on her.
I mean, she’s overreacting by blaming Joe, but people here are overreacting the other way by absolving him entirely.
Reltzik
Well, she was in shock earlier this morning. She was in denial about her toenail falling off a moment ago. Now she’s moved on to anger. Obviously, this is the 5 stages of toe-grief.
Clif
Next strip she bargains with Walky for guitar pick rights.
Commentary Ver.2.72
Then, she accepts she can’t play Guitar?
DarkoNeko
it’s gonna end up with Danny using it on his ukulele, isn’t it
Heavensrun
I feel like this train’s gone off the rails at this point.
AnvilPro
The real person to blame here is whoever put the vending machines downstairs that kept Joyce from knowing about the exercise room before that morning
Yumi
The real person to blame here is Carol, for growing Joyce with bones in her toe to be broken.
Some1
The real person to blame here is the single celled organism that split (or maybe absorbed a smaller organism gaining its genetic traits?) millions to billions of years ago and kickstarted the evolutionary process that would eventually lead to Joyce getting her toe injured.
Passchendaele
The real person to blame here is the world that allowed that organism to develop, start an evolutionary process, and cause Joyce to break her toe.
Yumi
The real person to blame here is the Big Bang.
For being a mediocre TV show.
GoblinScribe
The real person to blame here is Sheldon Cooper.
BAZINGO
Clif
The real person to blame here is Mike for occupying Ethan’s attention so he wouldn’t be in the exercise room being distracted by Jacob and preemptively saving Joyce’s toe.
Or alternately you could blame Dr Who for taking Mike back in time to meet up with Sheldon Cooper’s mom.
For a nickle.
Keulen
Joyce doesn’t believe in evolution, so for her the real person to blame is God for creating people with toes that can be broken so easily.
Passchendaele
Let there be light, and Joyce broke her toe.
brionl
Just before that…
“Ow, Me damnit. What did I just step on?”
Dark
Probably a lego.
Delicious Taffy
God prefers Kre-O.
Sensei Le Roof
ToeGod?
Yumi
“My toes were made by GOD!”
“So, the real person to blame here is God?”
“Ye– wait…”
Reltzik
“Ummmm… huh, that’s a real contradict– no, no, those don’t exist, they’re made up Satanic myths like climate change. Uh… uh… BLAME JOE!”
Ronnie
I mean “blame the Jews” is a Christian tradition, so…
Delicious Taffy
Aaaaand we’re gonna take a quick break, folks. In the meantime, here’s a word from our sponsors.
Clif
Delicious Taffy Toe Flakes.
So good, you can’t break just one.
Needfuldoer
Have you been injured in an accident? You don’t have to suffer through it alone. Call the law offices of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe at KL5-3226. We’;ll get you the money you deserve.
Passchendaele
*two minutes of pictures of sizzling bacon*
Bacon – you know you want some.
Roborat
@needfuldoer, well, thirty percent of it anyway.
Agemegos
It’s all part of God’s plan.
But He’s all=loving. He had to break Joyce’s toe because He loves her.
Clif
This, but without the sarcasm. 😉
smparadox
Much like Leprosy, Ebola, and Childhood Cancer are all expressions of how much God loves us…
Madock345
Oh, Joyce, you really should have been a drama student
Reltzik
The student has become the master.
Koms
Ah but she’s a Joebreaker
ozzi
More he’d break her…..in, Gigidty!
Sterling
this is the worst comment i’ve ever seen
Keulen
Toebreaker would be a pretty weird superhero. Maybe they’d be a supervillain instead?
Doctor_Who
The first Mad Max movie had a villain called Toecutter. Maybe this is the family friendly version for a hypothetical Saturday Morning Cartoon.
Jay
Love that the actor also played Immortan’ Joe
Woobie
Sal would be the Night Rider.
Roger
Well now you got me thinking of Kung Fu Hustle
JustCheetoDust
I once ran the Hungarian title for that movie (A Pofonok Földje) through Google Translate and got back “The Land of the Poop” (Wikipedia claims it means “The Land of Punches”).
Clif
Hungarian (rum) Punch — Poop.
Hm.
I can see where the natural confusion might lie.
Tho technically it should be “Land of the Pink Poop.” *
* – Please consider this post to have come with a sincere and heartfelt apology to Hungarians everywhere.
Haven
He was part of the Toesguard, but he betrayed his oath because it was “the Mad Toe”.
MM
I have trouble envisioning him getting past henchman level.
ValdVin
I’d bet he has that crazy combination of “expendable and indestructible” a great henchman needs.
GeorgeV
Toebreaker would be the nemesis of Toedad, obviously.
Durandal_1707
♬ Say it ain’t so-o-o-o! ♬
♬ Your Joe is a toe, break ERRRRR ♬
Durandal_1707
Totally should have made that “Say it ain’t Joe-oe-oe-oe.”
(This board needs an edit feature so bad)
Stephen Bierce
Why do you have to be a Toebreaker–Is that a lesson that I never knew?–apologies to Dionne Warwick & the Bee Gees
Durandal_1707
“Your STUD(ent) is a Toe-Break-ERRRR!”
There, that’s the final version 😛
Reltzik
You’re a/
toebreaker/
gym hazard/
a distracter/
don’t you mess around with me
(Sorry, Pat.)
Chris Phoenix
Reltzik beat me to posting Pat Benatar, but it’s amazing how many things Google can find with “heartbreaker lyrics”…
Toebreaker, your time has come, can’t take your evil way;
Go away, toebreaker.
Toebreaker!
Toebreaker!
Toe!
(Led Zeppelin)
Toebreaker you’ve got the best of me
But I just keep on comin’ back incessantly
(Mariah Carey)
Don’t tell me you’re my toebreaker
Cause girl my toe’s breaking, toebreaker
(Justin Bieber)
This is how to be a toebreaker
Boys they like a little danger
We’ll get him falling for a stranger, a player
Singin’ I lo-lo-lo-love you
How to be a toebreaker
(Marina and The Diamonds)
Sensei Le Roof
Un-break my toe
Say you’ll walk me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you asked where’s my shoe
And walked into the gym
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many seconds
Un-break my toe
(with ambivalence toward Toni Braxton)
Tan
Toebreaker, toebreaker, break me a toe.
Smoosh me a bone, yell at a Joe
Toebreaker, toebreaker, it’s all your fault
You broke my poor big toe.
Sev
*joins in on the Weezer-train*
Say it ain’t Jo-o-o-o-oe
It’s his fault, he’s my blame-takerr
FacelessDeviant
“If it hadn’t been for cotton eye Joe, I’d been married long time ago.
Where did you come from, where did you go.
Where did you come from, cuttin my toe”
ValdVin
Joe ain’t a toebreaker, she shoulda wore her shoes
Joyce ain’t the stairmaster, she had somethin to lose
“Jason, carry me to someone with aid to give”
“Your RA’s right upstairs…” “I need my femurs to live!”
(Kanye West, “Gold Digger”, the bridge)
TemporalShrew
Actual babies, the lot of them.
Delicious Taffy
That paints the Slipshine comics in an entirely different light.
showler
They’re Grown-ish
This advertisement brought to you by a network I can’t remember.
Deanatay