419

Eat moar
Posted on December 22, 2015 by David M Willis
Today is was the day our two little people folks are were scheduled to be yanked out of Maggie.  It's a good thing I have all these years of strips as a guide for how not to be a parent!  There's no way this could go wrong! UPDATE: oops they've been out since the third

419 thoughts on “Eat moar”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    luckily, there’s an easy bigotry-free recipe for Chick-Fil-A chicken:

    – chicken
    – flour (optional: add paprika)
    – peanut oil

    1. coat chicken in flour
    2. fill pan with peanut oil
    3. put flour-coated chicken in peanut oil
    4. fry the Hell out of it

    (even easier is get some of their “free whatever” coupons, but I find just standing in there to redeem those a bit oppressive for my taste)

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      But the bigotry gives that flavour that extra zing…

      1. Yotomoe

        Water always tastes a little better when it says “No Coloreds” above the faucet.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Exactly!

        2. JustCheetoDust

          This is the future of the foodie movement.

        3. Deanatay

          Mmmm, artisinal hate food.

        4. IDontcarenomore

          Immokalee Fla. 1958. Tiny little one street town in keys of the state.
          Single movie theater had 4 bathrooms and 2 water faucets. A ‘colored women and white women’ and a set for the ‘colored men and white men’. The faucets were labled Colored only, White only.
          The ‘coloreds’ set in the balconey. No air conditioning, just fans in ceilting.

          ‘Coloreds’ had to be off the street at sundown, and not back on streets till sunup. This was an official billboard on the outskirts of town – on each end of the main one road into and out of town.

          You may not be old enough to remember it, but I do.

          I hope we keep moving forward, its hard to re-educate an entire countries society but I hope we keep moving forward.

        5. modulusshift

          The irony of the town’s name being from the Seminole language (I assume) was lost on everyone, it seems.

        6. Kheldan

          The problem is, friend, that, apparently, racism never went away or even really became lessened, it just went into hiding, because the racists and bigots discovered that they would be censured and ostracized by voicing their racism and bigotry, but ironically enough, nobody could make them think differently. If you watch the news, you’ll see what I mean: it’s coming out all over the place now, with cops shooting young black guys first and asking questions later, and of course every single gods-be-damned Trump supporter. Of course I’ll say the one thing that many may know and very few are brave enough to say out loud: there are many Black people who are helping perpetuate race-related problems, with their own anti-white racism and bigotry, and by perpetuating racial stereotypes through their own speech and actions. They go around calling each other ‘niggers’, engage in stereotypical ‘nigger’ behaviors, ostensibly ironically, but they shouldn’t be doing it at all if they want to help break the cycle of racism and bigotry against blacks. Every single Black stand-up comedian I’ve ever heard also perpetuates stereotypes on both sides. Everybody acts like they want the problems to stop, but at the same time they want to ‘preserve their culture’, but it seems like everyone’s ‘culture’ in this context is just by-products of racism and bigotry.

          I don’t have any solutions. How do you change hearts and minds, on both sides of the equation? I’m not dumb, but apparently I’m not smart enough to see where the solution is, either. To make matters even worse, the Middle Class in the U.S. is disappearing, and there’s only going to be the ‘1%ers’, and the poor left, and the rich, as the rich tend to be, will just make damned sure the poor stay poor.

        7. Brian

          Import moslems. Then white fold and black folk can all hate them together in harmony.

        8. Captain Button

          Fake an invasion by Martians so people unite against the common enemy. Sounds like a good idea for a webcomic.

        9. Paul

          *cough*Watchmen*cough*

        10. Kheldan

          There are two schools of thought on the whole ‘alien civilization thing: One says that (most people) would wake up and stop arguing amongst themselves. The other says that it would start the War To End All Wars and we’d extinct ourselves over it.

        11. Shadow12000

          @Kheldan

          Either way, there’d be peace afterwards.

        12. Boxilar

          “To make matters even worse, the Middle Class in the U.S. is disappearing, and there’s only going to be the ‘1%ers’, and the poor left, and the rich, as the rich tend to be, will just make damned sure the poor stay poor.”
          Historically, that’s when revolutions kick off. In a country with over 350 million firearms in private hands, the 1% might want to rethink their destruction of the middle class.

        13. RP

          “they shouldn’t be doing it at all if they want to help break the cycle of racism and bigotry against blacks.”

          2am and I have already read the most racist thing I’ll see today.

          Look, I realize you’re just going to ignore this because you need to believe that “both sides of the equation” are equally wrong but racism isn’t caused by black people not being “respectable” enough. Not only is a the idea that black people shouldn’t reappropriate a slur if they don’t want to get shot disgusting, it’s flat out wrong. Also, a group of people can’t perpetuate a stereotype against themselves. That’s not how that works.

    2. miados

      have to research all the companys that provide the chicken flour etc to see if any of the high ups have any bigotry about anything though or else it is just trading one flavor of it for another.

      1. Petra

        Unfortunatly, the way a lot of companies are structured as part of bigger companies makes that unfeasible. And with so much trading and stuff going on, it’s really hard and sadly impractical to try to get ANYTHING free of bigotry or sweatshops or paying-foreign-workers-way-too-little. It’s really frustrating! I try to avoid the most obvious ones, but boycotting isn’t really feasible for settling this stuff worldwide.

      2. JustCheetoDust

        Even if you fail to find a direct relationship with a company that has a history of some form of prejudice (even overlooking it) it’s not like that business can’t share a parent company with another subsidiary guilty of that same thing.

    3. Doctor_Who

      Yeah, they’re food’s alright, but I never saw what the big deal is. It’s a chicken sandwich. Same kind I used to get in my school lunchroom.

      And Mr. Hero has better waffle fries.

      1. Lurlock

        And on top of that they have the audacity to claim they invented the chicken sandwich. Because since the invention of the sandwich, nobody in the history of the world has ever thought to put chicken in there? I call shenanigans. (Also, their chicken really isn’t that good. Like – at all. I have no idea why all my coworkers are so in love with the place. The food is mediocre at best.)

        1. Shadow12000

          To be fair, while I think their normal chicken sandwich is okay, I much prefer their spicy chicken sandwich. I mean, I love me any kind of spicy chicken, sandwich or not, but I just like the texture of theirs.

        2. Narf

          I see nothing hard to believe about the claim that prior to the 1960s, noone thought to combine chicken (first domesticated thousands of years ago) and bread (a staple food for even longer than that). What do you find dubious about this claim?

      2. Ensiform

        They are food’s alright?

    4. DinaWho

      The Leslie grav makes this comment.

    5. Cthulhu's Intern

      They have an annual “Cow Appreciation Day” where if you dress in a cow mask, you get a free sandwich and if you dress in a full cow costume, you get a free meal. I thought of dressing up as one of their signature cows with signs, except the sign says something like “Kil mor gays” or “God hates fags.”

      1. Leorale

        …so, then you are a cow who is eating a cow? Will their cow-madness never cease??

        1. modulusshift

          No, no, you get chicken.

        2. Doomprix

          Chick-fil-a – cows wearing human costumes, Animal Farm on a grand scale.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          Cows weren’t really mentioned much in that book.

          …I had something to say about the pigs, but my wavering attention span shifted to thinking about how I wish I had the Pig of Eden.

        4. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Yay for prion diseases?

      2. zoomer296

        Figs, guys. I hated figs. JESUS HATES FIGS.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          I don’t see what the big deal is. I toss those in my salads all the time.

        2. TomInDallas

          I do recall Jesus cursing a fig tree now that you mention it… 😛

        3. MichaelHaneline

          http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3702

        4. Boxilar

          Jesus never mentions homosexuality. All the biblical gay hate comes from the Old Testament. It’s funny how the fundies love to pick and choose from the Old Testament.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXJzybEeJM

        5. David M Willis

          Jesus never mentions homosexuality, but that doesn’t mean there’s no mention of it in the New Testament. 90% of the New Testament is non-Gospel content, and there are mentions of homosexuality (as translated) there. Joyce has discussed this in this very webcomic.

    6. SailorCakes

      Actually the secret to their chicken is they soak it in pickle juice over night. There we go secrets out now we don’t need their bigot chicken! 😀

    7. MrPotamus

      Soak the chicken in pickle juice for a few hours to get it closer to their recipe.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        eew I hate pickles =p might be why I like mine better ^_^

    8. Illiriam

      The real trick is to marinade the chicken in pickle juice for at least 4 hours, and to put a small bit of powdered sugar in the flour. Tastes better imho.
      Then mix honey mustard and barbeque sauce for copycat chickfila sauce.

    9. prime_pm

      Does it have to be peanut oil? Can I use olive or canola, or even vegetable?

      1. Ana Chronistic

        You CAN–it’s your chicken–but at least when *I* tried other oils, it didn’t remotely taste the same.

    10. Needfuldoer

      Cooking Comically has a recipe that gets close. (Language warning, but nothing that hasn’t been in DoA.) At least you don’t need a pressure fryer to imitate it, like KFC calls for.

      (At least KFC doesn’t discriminate at a corporate level. Not sure what the colnel’s views were but he’s been gone a long time…)

    11. Tim

      Explain how “those actions are wrong” is bigotry, and “those actions are right” is perfectly acceptable.

      1. thejeff

        It’s pretty simple. It depends on the actions.
        If the actions in question are in fact keeping a minority group from being discriminated against, then calling them wrong can easily be bigotry.
        To pick a hopefully non-controversial example from the past: “Freeing the slaves is wrong” is bigotry. “Freeing the slaves is right” is perfectly acceptable.

      2. Pat

        Explain how “those actions are wrong” and “those actions are right” are phrases that have any relevance to anything.

    12. Shadow12000

      Cool, but how do I recreate their spicy sandwich? I needs me a spicy chicken sandwich that isn’t just a normal chicken sandwich with spicy mayo on it for a higher price (Yeah, fuck you KFC).

      1. NotPiffany

        My guess is that you’d need to add spices to the flour. I’ve never had the sandwich in question, but I’d guess that cayenne’s in the mix.

    13. PorpoisePower

      you forgot to brine the chicken in pickle juice.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        no I didn’t ;p (eew pickles are ruined cucumbers)

    14. gwalla

      PROTIP: heat up the peanut oil first, otherwise you don’t get fried chicken, you get chicken soaked in grease.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        yeah I forgot that step–I’d more recently tried my mom’s gravy chicken, and that’s just flour and water (gravy) plus oyster sauce for flavour

  2. Mr. Mendo

    At the very least, she got some waffle fries for her suffering.

    1. Fish Facade

      For whatever reason, when I read “waffle fries”, I immediately thought of something akin to French Toast sticks.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Those are a thing: http://thebabycakesshop.com/products/wm-15

      2. Mr. Mendo

        Or French Toast Crunch! Which is awesome!

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Even more so with a mixture of Bailey’s and milk poured over it.

  3. Just Me

    So, what’s the problem with Chick-Fil-A? Why protest?

    1. Captain Button

      They, or people that own them, have donated money to gay-hostile organizations. Some people don’t like that, and others like it a lot.

      1. Viktoria

        One of their heads was also on the board of one of those orgs, so it wasn’t just money involved, but yeah, that basically sums it up. The LGBTQ protests appear to have put a stop to the donations, but how much you trust that is up to you.

    2. Mr. Random

      http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/chickfila.asp

    3. Liokae

      Chick-Fil-A donates money to some pretty actively anti-gay-marriage organizations (less than they did before, but still do). There was a fairly notable protest and boycotting of them; lots of religious folks counter-protested it by deliberately eating there more often, claiming that the boycott was somehow smothering the free speech of the company’s owners.

      1. Mandy

        Oh, ok. I was really confused, because I was like, why would the religious zealots protest the anti-gay agenda? Seems like the kind of thing they’d be super on board for. But if they were protesting against people protesting THAT, I guess that makes more sense.

        1. chefhoag

          No…Actually, the Christians that were there were NOT protesting AGAINST Chik-fil-A, there to SUPPORT them for “supporting their values”.
          Actually, I could give two hoots about what a company does or doesn’t support. All I care about, being a chef, is “does their food taste good?”. Under those criteria, Chik-fil-A does pretty well. Their Frosty Lemonade is darned good.

        2. Thrabalen

          Those people directly affected by their donations may care enough, however, to not want to place their money into an organization that directly wishes them harm.

        3. Cerberus

          This.

          There’s often a mental calculus when you’re a marginalized group, where you end up wondering whether you want to give money to organizations who turn right around and use that money to fight against your humanity. Some say, eh, fuck it. Others do things like the boycott.

        4. Marie

          +1. Also, I’m pretty sure the gay chef friends I have would disagree about the food tasting good being literally the only thing that mattered (hell, even I would. Even on taste; texture and temperature are important too. Then there’s hygiene, presentation, freshness, variety, and whether I am willing to give money to such a company.)

        5. Marie

          +1 Thrabalen, that was supposed to be.

        6. Mandy

          No, yeah, sorry, I meant that they would be protesting against the other protesters – I just worded it really badly, haha. But yeah, that frosted lemonade is tasty. I only tried one because they sent me a coupon for a free one in the mail. I do not like supporting the company though, so I never get it.

        7. Freemage

          chefhoag: That ability you have to only care about whether or not the food is good, and set everything else aside? The proper definition for that ability is ‘privilege’.

        8. Shadow12000

          No, it’s not. It’s called free will. His choice to ignore everything else is the same as the choice those protesters made to protest instead of ignoring. Two sides of the same coin, no different at all. You also have no idea what chefhoag’s race, gender, or sexuality is, so for all you know, s/he could be LGBT, but as s/he said, as a chef, the food takes priority, and that’s their choice. Not “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.” Now, if Chick-fil-a flat out refused to serve LGBT? Then it’d be a privilege. Last I checked though, while one of their higher ups was involved with anti-gay stuff, the others told him he was an idiot for publicly acknowledging it, apologized on behalf of him, and there’s been no record of anything since.

        9. Cerberus

          No, it’s privilege. Not having to consider things like whether or not a company hurts you personally with their policies, worrying about hygiene of the food available near you, having to wonder about basic nutrition or cost enough to stretch that five dollars to enough food for three people.

          These are all privileges.

          They are nice privileges. They are privileges everyone should have (seriously, why should anyone have to worry that their purchase of a meal will come back to fuck them personally). But they are privileges nonetheless.

          Also, their higher up was on the board of an anti-gay group, not just donating money.

        10. Pat

          Free will is your ability to do things. It is unrelated.

          However, where free will and privilege intersect, we often encounter something known as “evil.”

          “s/he said, as a chef, the food takes priority, and that’s their choice.”
          That… isn’t even a choice, really. It obviously has nothing to do with being a chef, either.
          But the ability to not care, at all, who gets hurt as long as you get a tasty sandwich… that would be privilege.

        11. Cerberus

          This.

        12. Pat

          Last I checked, chefs tend to fall under the category of humans. Some may care about other things.
          Actually, I’d think chefs would care less about the taste of fast food than the average person…

      2. Pat

        They didn’t eat there more often. They ate there once and declared victory.

        I mean, sure, the pictures of crowds devoted so much to showing off how much they hated people were disheartening, but they’re still not very good at this.

    4. Toad

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick-fil-A_same-sex_marriage_controversy

      Basically, the owner of Chick-Fil-A donated a bunch to anti-marriage-equality measures, so liberals protested and boycotted. So then homophobes went out in droves to support it as a counter-protest.

      1. Someone

        Why do I get the feeling that Chick a fil a doesn’t actually give a crap about either gays or christians, and this is all a huge plot to make them more money?

        1. Yotomoe

          I would say that is by far the ballsiest marketing scheme I’ve ever seen.

        2. Shadow12000

          You should see EA’s marketing. Look up “Dante’s Inferno game marketing”. That was just ridiculous, but it sure as hell got them sales.

        3. Lord Stoneheart

          As one of the above comments points out, one of the top people in Chick Fil A was on the board for one of the anti gay groups. That demonstrates that some of their leadership is pretty committed to the idea.

        4. Boxilar

          No publicity is bad publicity. And their sales did go up during the time people were protesting against them.

        5. zoelogical

          i’m pretty sure they’d get more money by not taking a stance on either side.

      2. Ethan

        Actually, it wasn’t only homophobes who went out and bought food. I’m quite liberal and very pro-gay marriage, yet I went to buy Chick-Fil-A during that counter-protest (and lost a friend by doing so).

        My reason? The protests against Chick-Fil-A were not because the company took a stand against gay marriage; but that the owner of the corporation, who is a committed Christian, donated to a pet cause with his own money. We live in one of the only nations on Earth where the freedom of speech is enshrined as one of the highest rights granted to man by nature. This includes even speech that people don’t like or that they find uncomfortable. It is the right of people to donate to whatever cause they believe in, even if it is misguided, as long as that cause is not de facto illegal (i.e. supporting the overthrow of the government or violent radicals overseas). Shaming someone for holding an unpopular opinion is a moral hazard. One day that opinion may be popular again, and the shamers will find themselves in a losing position.

        The protests only served to harm the minimum wage workers and the local management of Chick-Fil-A restaurants, had no effect on anything of note, and fizzled out within a few weeks. C’est la folle d’protest dans les Etats-unis.

        1. IDontcarenomore

          Thanks for that information which I checked out.
          I am of the opinion that protesting the way a company officer handles him/herself is their business. Unless they are running a Ponzi scheme, it is none of my business. Let people donate to who/what they want.
          If we all worried more about the actual lawbreakers and stopped trying to tell people how to vote, donate, think, behave, and raise their kids: we may have time to concentrate on things that matter. Like schooling, raising kids, and enjoying life.

        2. Pat

          Remember kids: It’s perfectly okay to run hate groups that actively try to harm people as long as, technically, your behavior isn’t quite illegal.

        3. Pat

          Incidentally, it sure would be easier to focus on schooling, raising kids, and enjoying life if I didn’t have to worry about basic civil rights that you take for granted being major topics of political debate when they’re applied to me.

        4. modulusshift

          Dammit Malaya. (jk I like your viewpoint, and personally couldn’t be bothered to get involved either way for similar reasons.)

        5. segnosaur

          * The protests only served to harm the minimum wage workers and the local management of Chick-Fil-A restaurants

          I can understand your point… But, if you believe in helping “minimum wage workers”, wouldn’t you be doing just as well to go to McDonalds/Taco Bell/etc? Granted, its a different set of workers, but the people there would benefit from your business as well

          * had no effect on anything of note

          Well, the restaurant did supposedly stop donating to anti-gay organizations. Not sure if it limited the ability of those organizations to function but at least they have less money.

        6. Random832

          > Well, the restaurant did supposedly stop donating to anti-gay organizations.

          You know, I’ve heard that. But I’ve also heard that we should keep boycotting it anyway because reasons. I’m not sure what to believe.

        7. KHNO

          I still cannot understand how going to any of these restaurants, inclusive Chick-tract-fil-a, would be of any help to minimum wage workers. I’d rather say: go to any place that treats workers well (clue: that won’t a franchise in most cases). Better: go on any place run by its own workers – that will really help them to make a living.

        8. TlalocW

          Yeah, the thing is that Chick-Fil-A’s (or its founder, Cathy’s) supporting anti-gay groups is that some of those groups had a hand in Uganda’s anti-gay bill which originally was a death to all homos bill but was “softened” to a “just” lifetime imprisonment for all homos bill. I do agree that the minimum wage workers bore the brunt of it, but as for shaming someone for a position, when it’s LGBT-cide, I’m not too worried about their feelings.

        9. not someone else

          I dunno, seems to have pretty effectively immunized them against the criticisms that used to come up every time someone mentioned Chick-Fil-A. Lots of people had been staying away from them for years before that due to word-of-mouth stories about local chains only hiring people who went to their church, or being hostile environments, or just how a lot of Chick-Fil-As wind up having ties to various Prosperity Gospel figureheads in their local environment for reasons that are obviously totally coincidental. But now it’s a well-known issue, and lots of people hear about this big corporation that happens to have a bigot somewhere, who don’t live in places where identifying fundies is a normal social skill, and who don’t live lives where learning to navigate around these people can mean the difference between a normal day and harassment or worse.

          Which is pretty amazing to me. I mean, they’re universally closed on Sundays, that’s a dogwhistle loud enough that most people ought to hear it, even if you ignore things like their corporate mission statement or common knowledge about their business practices or the fact that those counter-protests you attended were started by Mike Huckabee.

          But I guess it really does sound like a big ol’ conspiracy theory if this sort of thing isn’t normal where you live.

        10. Jay

          Certainly, the company has the right to donate to any cause they wish to. But I also have the right to say, hey I don’t agree with that cause, I’m not giving my money to this company to then be sent on to that cause.

          I also have the right to say to the company, maybe you value my business and the business of those who agree with me enough to change your mind about that giving. Maybe we’ll make some noise in the process — also our right — to make sure you hear me and know what I want changed before I’ll return as your customer. That’s… sort of how all consumer boycotts work. Despite the influx of supporters’ purchasing, they did value the boycotters’ money enough to drastically change their giving habits.

          It was not the first, nor will it be the last consumer boycott.

        11. Durandal_1707

          This. You have the right to say what you want, but I don’t have to support it.

          Oh, and obligatory xkcd comic: https://xkcd.com/1357/

        12. Cerberus

          This. I’m sick of that “free speech” garbage with things like this. Boycotts are not “limiting free speech”, they are expressions of actual free speech.

          People have a right to spend their own money how they see fit, give voice to causes they care about, and note how purchases are used to hurt them and their communities. This is free speech. Not some whiny technodouche ideal about how no one is allowed to criticize anyone else’s beliefs ever. But the ability of people to say, no, I’m not spending my money with companies that hate me and I reserve the right to glare at straight friends who decide to fuck me over all in the name of supporting bigots because of some misguided misinterpretation of free speech.

        13. dmaxx

          US one of the only nations on earth with free speechand freedom? Uh, even heard about skandinavia with norway, sweden and danmark?:-P

        14. thomas wrobel

          No. Only the US has freedom. US brand authentic(tm) freedom.
          Manufactured by the good-old authentic US prison population.

        15. David M Willis

          You confuse me.

          You make a big fit about how Chick-Fil-A’s CEO’s free speech was being infringed by people boycotting the product of his company. But, like, isn’t choosing to boycott something also free speech? Why does the CEO’s feelings matter but not anybody else’s?

          Seriously, you’re not very good at knowing what “free speech” means. All it means is that the government can’t infringe on your ability to say stuff (and within reason, if what you’re saying is causing tangible harm). It doesn’t mean you can’t donate to stuff and it doesn’t mean you can’t boycott an entity for same. Free speech is in no way being threatened by boycotting a business. Free speech is not a shield from private citizens telling you you’re a dickwad for what you’ve said and done.

          And furthermore, the problem wasn’t that the owner of Chick-Fil-A was donating money from his personal salary, but that the business itself was supporting anti-gay organizations with the business’s money.

          So many paragraphs and yet so few facts. Your friend was right.

        16. thomas wrobel

          I was about to say basically the same thing.
          For some reason the “freespeach” logic always stops at the point its convenient for the person arguing.

        17. Random832

          Sometimes these protests have an undertone that the person should be fired. Sometimes they succeed, e.g. Brendan Eich. I’d be a lot more comfortable with these protests if the people running them had the integrity to say that they are trying to ruin someone’s life, but that it’s okay because they deserve it, rather than claiming that it’s only affects their “feelings”.

        18. Random832

          “””And furthermore, the problem wasn’t that the owner of Chick-Fil-A was donating money from his personal salary, but that the business itself was supporting anti-gay organizations with the business’s money.””” – just because that was true in this case doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t have still happened if it hadn’t been. See, again, Brendan Eich.

        19. Freemage

          Your complaint about that doesn’t apply, here. Chik-fil-A is what is known as a ‘closely held’ corporation–at least a majority of the stock, if not all of it, is held by the founder and family members. Ergo, no one was going to get fired, even by a wildly successful boycott. At most, one of two things were going to happen:

          1: Chik-fil-A would be driven out of business, or at least curtailed back into their Bible Belt roots, and some other fast-food restaurants would’ve moved in to use minimum-wage labor to push unhealthy deep-fried chicken sandwiches.

          2: Chik-fil-A’s owner would cease donating money through his corporation’s charitable arm to fund groups like the Family Research Council, which lobbied against the Congressional bill condemning Uganda’s “kill the gays” bill (they later claimed they just didn’t like the language describing freedom of sexual orientation as a fundamental human right–so they weren’t advocating the death penalty for gays, just that they be locked up, possibly for life).

        20. Cerberus

          Gosh, really? Sometimes once in a blue moon, a bigot gets fired because they are found to be really really vocally bigoted and that’s costing them sales? Gosh, that’s awful.

          As one of the millions of queer individuals discriminated out of jobs simply for existing, I cry for those millionaires and their golden parachutes. *Single tear*

        21. random832

          Then, like I said, own it, instead of claiming that the only thing being hurt is feelings.

        22. Ethan

          I am more than willing to admit when I have made a mistake; and in this case I did make an error. I has been a long time since this particular fiasco happened. The company donated to a charitable organization which is run by the founder of the company. The charitable organization took a stand against gay marriage by donating to groups such as Focus on the Family.

          As for me, I stand by my choice to participate in the counter protest. Y’all can call me a dickwad if you’d like. I’m more than happy to support your right to say so.

        23. Rutee

          I’m super happy that you let your friend know what a colossal tool you were before you did even more damage.

        24. altalemur

          Free Speech only means that the government can’t arrest you for your speech/association/etc. It literally means that “what you just said or expressed is not illegal.” However, the protest wasn’t only over Chick-fil-a’s donation money. It was also over their very homophobic hiring practices. They were also not very nice to unmarried mothers who worked their as well. So yeah, when I DO order fast food, I keep in mind “does this company treat it’s workers humanely?” The answer for Chick-fil-a is “No, they are dickweeds to their workers.” Don’t try to make the argument that not buying fast food from one particular place hurts the workers more than the company.

        25. Jen

          Ethan, I call BS on people supporting Chick-fil-A being about supporting their free speech rights. I saw no lines of conservative, homophobic Christians at JC Penny or Oreo when boycotts were called against them for exercising their free speech and running GLBT friendly ads.

          If it truly was about free speech, then the same group of people would have bought a ton of Oreos and JC Penny merch and posted proudly to their Facebook about it, but they didn’t. So they have no right to hide behind the “supporting free speech” BS.

        26. Cerberus

          Mmhmm. This.

          It’s sooooo interesting that the types of people who complain about “free speech” only ever seem to care about the free speech of the most powerful and privileged in society. It’s always about the free speech of the corporations or the rich white men, or so on rather than the free speech of marginalized communities trying to bring awareness to a way they are being harmed.

          And those communities are never there to show “free speech” support when it comes with the social cost of supporting a marginalized group member.

        27. Jen

          Cerberus, exactly! “the types of people who complain about “free speech” only ever seem to care about the free speech of the most powerful and privileged in society.” So much this!

        28. Pat

          Freedom of speech had nothing to do with anything. It was a bizarre lie that anti-gay bigots came up with.
          They like to scream “Freedom of X!” often while the freedom they’re violating is the Freedom of X. I think it might be their attempt at humor?

          But yes, literally every person in that line was a huge homophobe.
          You went way out of your way to buy a bleeping sandwich because it was soooo important to you that some company be allowed to do us harm?
          And you were suuuuper mad that people used their supposedly-unimpeachable Freedom of Speech to complain about that objectively-evil behavior (oooh, your claim that it was all about “Freedom of Speech” sure did evaporate quick).

          So, uh, yeah. If hurting gay people is more important to you than… gay people… asking to… not be hurt? I don’t even know. If hurting gay people was more important to you than that, you’re a homophobe.
          You don’t get to declare yourself not because you’re a “liberal” while you brag about how you were showing off your desire to do us harm.

      3. Jacknoir

        in actuality they donated heavily to christian marriage counseling charities some of which refused service to homosexuals.
        Chik-a-fila has since stopped donating to those particular charities.

        but the whole attempt to force people to perform services against their will in direct violation to the 13th amendment and the guilt by association if the people you choose to deny service to happen to be gay just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, much like Chik-a-fila.

        1. WaytoomanyUIDs

          Nope, at least one of the groups they donated heavily to, the “Familiy Research Council” is considered an anti-gay hate group by many

        2. WaytoomanyUIDs

          Also the FRC was spun off from “Focus on Family” and are still associated with it, and that’s definitely a hate group. And if that’s no enough they have links to those “quiverfull” nutjobs.

        3. Captain Button

          I picked up a audio version of The Chronicles of Narnia without noticing that FoF produced it. But it was from a yard sale, so maybe that takes the curse off it.

          Missing Prince Caspian, though.

        4. CJ

          Not giving any of my money to a company that is using their proceeds to further hate of people like me sounds like a very sound strategy.
          Money is at the root of most large-scale hate campaigns, drying it up is essential.
          I don’t follow why this can be constructed as oppressing the minimum-wage-workers working for the company. If the hate-campaign-supporters go bust, someone else will sell food and employ minimum-wage workers (as unfortunately, fast-food without minimum-wage workers involved is not likely to happen).

        5. Rutee

          ‘force people to provide services against their will’

          Technically, we’re trying to either change their will, or their employers’ will, by making money dependent on doing your job regardless of your personal beliefs.

          Also! Since you’re a complete asshole! The thirteenth ammendment has exactly nothing to do with this! Your employer is not barred from ordering you to do something distasteful as part of your job! And since you’re the free marketeer, I note you’re not actually forced to do that – you always have the ‘freedom’ to quit your job. I mean, if you want to argue that there is coercive power in that because you have to work to eat, I /agree/ with you, but that isn’t in the text or intention of the thirteenth amendment!

        6. Pat

          Also also, starting a business to do a thing, but then refusing to do the thing when those people try to pay for your service isn’t actually related to forcing you to do the thing.

          You started the business to do the thing. It was your own idea all along!

        7. I Write Monsters

          They also lobbied in support of the Ugandan “Kill the Gays” bill, sending lobbyists to convince senators not to condemn it.

        8. Cerberus

          Totes. It’s illegally terrible notgood to not spend your own money on organizations and companies that hurt you. Yup. I mean, those companies are entitled to your money by virtue of existing.

          To say otherwise is literally slavery…

          Seriously, these “free speech” warriors leave a sick taste in my mouth.

        9. Pat

          Quoting vague nonsense phrases coined by hate groups makes me think what you’re saying is cool!

    5. Bladeglory

      I was gonna let somebody else explain this, then I remembered I can just link Mike doing it!

      1. Bladeglory

        If I could remember how to properly link…
        Mike doing his thing.

        1. Captain Button

          On your mom for a nickel.

    6. I Write Monsters

      They double dip into religious douchery. Wait until Dina finds out they also monetarily support creationist education outreach programs.

  4. Captain Button

    Dina, I hope you don’t think this counts as ‘taking her someplace nice’.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Should have went to TGI Fridays. ^_^

      1. Needfuldoer

        TGI Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday, 99, Applebees, Chili’s, they’re all basically the same aren’t they?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I don’t know, I only discovered that there was a TGI Fridays in Oz recently, I have yet to see any Applebees or Ruby Tuesdays.

    2. John

      Dina’s quite observant and detail-oriented. I’m sure she’s aware that “someplace nice” means “Long John Silver’s”.

  5. Steampunkette

    Yet another glimpse into the true shittiness of Ross.

    1. Cerberus

      Yeah. And that’s a nice compare and contrast between Joyce’s parents and Ross. Both are the same in their viewpoints and actions, but Joyce’s parents invent a convoluted reason that they get to be the good guys and how they really don’t hate anyone, not really. And Ross?

      Ross is honest. Toedad hates, openly. Because that’s the real text of what he is taught. He doesn’t hide it in justifications because he genuinely believes with all of his heart that he is in the right by virtue of him doing it and doesn’t secretly know it’s wrong like Joyce’s parents.

      And because of this, and because Toedad is awful, he goes the extra step and goes out of his way to hurt and harm those he has been taught to hate. He doesn’t just want to deny them rights or insult them. He wants them to see him doing it. And he wants his daughter to be seen doing so as well so that she never strays from the “proper path”*.

      *Lol, jokes on him.

  6. Mr. Random

    I mean…. It’s free speech, but that doesn’t mean they’re not being shitty about it.

    1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

      They have the right to say it. And I have the right to call them an asshole for saying it.

      1. Doctor_Who

        It’s amazing how many people don’t get that.

      2. Someone

        I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

        Seriously though, free speech is pretty fucking important even if some people use it to be awful.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The price of everybody having Free Speech is that “EVERYBODY” has Free Speech which includes assholes and fucktards, you have to take the good with the bad.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          speech is free, but talk is cheap

        3. Pat

          It’s important… but it hasn’t actually been questioned, so there was never a reason to defend it, bring it up, or even mention it at all.

          Actually, only the “FREEE SPEEECH!” folks were trying to cut off free speech.
          Notice Meghan’s second sentence, which is kind of an important part, and the only part anybody wanted to disallow.

      3. IDontcarenomore

        Agree with your statement.
        That’s what free speech is all about.
        Right?

      4. miados

        yup your free speech says you can say stuff that is stupid and asshole like. my free speech says i can call you stupid and an asshole but for whatever reason people dont seem to like that side of the free speech. *shrug*

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          My philosophy is “Don’t give it if you cant take it”.

      5. Cerberus

        This.

        “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.”

    2. AnishY

      Not that free speech would even apply in this case seeing as the 1st amendment only says the government can’t stop you from making that speech; it says nothing about people unaffiliated with the government protesting your company.

      1. Dr. T

        Yeah, but the mouth-breathers don’t understand that. They think calling someone out for saying terrible things is “violating their 1st Amendment Rights”! Strangely, however, if you try to say things they don’t like you need to be stopped.

        1. altalemur

          i’m exercising my right of free speech to call you out on your ableism with the derogatory “mouth-breather”. there is no association with Down Syndrome (or other conditions that affect breathing) and religious or political zealotry.

        2. Dr. T

          “Mouth breather” is a colloquialism from where I am from referring to backwoodsy-types, which are typically love them their Bible verses that their preacher reads to them on Sunday (I think the term suggests a fair amount of genetic flaws due to possible frequent inbreeding being an issue).

        3. Dr. T

          Wow, that read like I was really drunk.

        4. Pat

          It also kinda read like you were denying doing a thing while explaining that you were doing the same thing.

        5. Peduncle

          Hey! I use my mouth for breathing all the time, and I’m a fine person!

      2. Mr. Random

        I think the thought process is that by supporting the people that support the people who are actively working for their goals, that they are supporting them. And they believe that the people who are/were attempting to shut down Chic fil a because of who they supported are denying others the right to support groups that speak up for them, therefore by supporting the business, they are “supporting” free speech by opposing the people who don’t want a business with, “what they are calling”, an opposing viewpoint.

        Or, in other words. I believe this to be the thought process.
        Chic-fil-a supports traditional values.
        Protestors support an alternative family.
        Protestors do not want opposing viewpoints in their city.
        By attempting to shut Chic-fil-a down, they are attempting to stifle their viewpoint.
        By supporting the restaurant, they are helping to keep it open.
        By keeping it open, they allow donations to keep going towards the groups that support their viewpoints.
        Therefore, they believe that they are helping a valid and logical viewpoint to exist.
        QED They think they’re supporting free speech.

        Of course this is all based on the idea that marriage should only exist between a man and a woman.
        Which.
        No.

        1. Gecko

          Probably a good assessment of their thought process, yes. Another note is that people weren’t trying to shut the chain down; they were trying to make it change where it’s money went.
          Even if they were, you’d still end up with Chik-fil-a supporting groups trying to shut down LGBT folks, so trying to shut them down right back seems like a reasonable response.

      3. Someone

        weird how so many people don’t get that

      4. Kamino Neko

        I’ve noticed that ‘freedom of speech’ only ever seems to get invoked in an attempt to stifle it, anymore.

        ‘Fags should die.’ ‘… What an asshole.’ ‘MY FREE SPEECH!’

        1. Cerberus

          This.

          And it’s because in conservative circles “freedom of speech” has morphed to mean “critiqued my speech”. This is why various culture critics and activists are constantly called “anti-free speech” simply because they state their opinions. It’s why conservatives whine “free speech” when they are called out on bad behavior. It’s why people pretend P.C. (otherwise known as individuals deciding to try and be less assholic to other individuals) is some gross violation of “free speech”.

          And it’s all very deliberate. The purpose of it is to discourage speech that counters them. Because they know that they have the social power to shut out other voices and they also have only ever been used to that.

          If you’ve gone your whole life with people being too scared to call you out for using words like f***** and then suddenly people are bringing it up more and more, I imagine it does feel like you’ve “lost” something and thus easy to interpret it as a loss of “free speech”.

        2. Pat

          The same people think “Freedom of Religion” means they’re religion should be imposed by law, so…
          They invoke what they hate. It’s kind of a thing with them.

    3. Reltzik

      And it wasn’t even on the internet!

  7. ninja_jesus

    Freedom of Speech is not Freedom from Judgment. The gods will see your deeds in the end, Ross.

    1. DarkoNeko

      aah, I should keep the relevant XKCD handy at all time for cases like these.

      “The first amendement doesn’t shield you from critiscism or conséequences”

      1. modulusshift

        I wasn’t going to say anything about the typos, but somehow that last word has an accent. Are you using a Romance language keyboard, or something?

        1. ninja_jesus

          Unrelated, but do romantic language keyboards work for aromantic people?

        2. DarkoNeko

          french keyboard, but here it’s because it’s, well “conséquences” in french. Force of habit.

        3. modulusshift

          I was thinking French. 🙂 cool.

      2. Peduncle

        And fréedom of the press doesn’t guarantée you the right to use somebody else’s press.

        1. Peduncle

          Dang. The (impersonal) “you” wasn’t meant to be in there. Meaning’s the same, but reader’s perception isn’t. So often “you” is a poison word in dialog like this.

  8. Yotomoe

    Well you’d better hand her a mirror then!

  9. Captain Button

    So everything is Ross’s fault. If he hadn’t taken her there, the gays wouldn’t have been able to recruit her with their satanic corrupting mind rays!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Nonsense, they just need to expose them to the gaydoactive assotopes.

    2. tim gueguen

      Or their moles working in the goofily named restaurant added gayranium to the chicken coating mix, its insidious rays warping poor Becky.

    3. ObiKemnebi

      Ten bucks says he’d actually consider that a possibility…

    4. timemonkey

      Pffft, we don’t need mind rays anymore. Ever since our agenda entered phase two and our space program was put into play we launched a series of fabulous satellites into orbit to bathe the planet in gaydiation.

      1. Usayasha

        That explains all of these strange readings on my gayger counter! I need to set up my gaydar and homometer as well, so I can start studying these readings and figure out how to harness the energy for pursuits beyond the Gay Agenda.
        Personally, I’m interested in these theories going around that gaydiation can influence the weather. If it’s true, then we may have a viable weather machine by the turn of the century!

        1. Usayasha

          My initial observations are positive, as gaydiation seems to be able to produce rainbows with some consistency. With any luck, droughts will soon be a thing of the past.

        2. inqntrol

          That’s sounds very Godly and quite dangerous that it can turn you evil….if you ever need and evil assistant you know where to find me.

      2. Rutee

        You fool! They’ll learn the plan!

        1. Cerberus

          Damn it, back to the homosexual agenda drawing board.

      3. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        Who needs mind rays when you have Cordyceps? Or Toxoplasma, depending on personal taste.

  10. Stephen R. Bierce

    Happy 19th Day With Kids!
    *plays Queen’s “One Vision” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Dr. T

      Come on, man! He’s just now realizing how much less sleep he will be getting as a parent now. The proper Queen song to be playing on the hacked Muzak is “I’m Going Slightly Mad”.

    2. Deanatay

      Follow with “They’re Coming To Take Me Away”…

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Two lesbians walk into a Chick-Fil-A… I can practically taste the innuendo. ^_^

    1. Yotomoe

      Lesbians do seem to like legs, thighs and breasts. (Although I’m pretty sure Chick-Fil-A doesn’t sell those, does it?)

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I don’t know, I have yet to see a CFA over here in Oz.

        1. modulusshift

          Just curious, who’s the artist that made your Gravatar?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I have no idea anymore, I have edited it so much over the years, all I can recall is that the original was from one of the ‘boorus.

        3. modulusshift

          I just feel like somehow it feels Aussie. Like, something about it made me assume you were Aussie before I read that you were.

      2. Doctor_Who

        They sell Patties.

        I suppose Patty might have been hot before she was killed and fried, though.

        1. Yotomoe

          Well she was incredibly hot briefly whilst she was being fried as well. And if you’re lucky she’s very hot once you get her. Although sometimes she’ll just be lukewarm from heat lamps…

      3. Boxilar

        Nope. Just tasty, tasty filet of breast.

    2. Captain Button

      Never call lesbians “Chiks”….

    3. Kamino Neko

      I think there’s more innuendo in Lick-A-Chick….but I suppose there’s not much chance of Becky and Dina taking a trip to Nova Scotia any time soon.

  12. newllend(henryvolt)

    there’s a lot of controversy around chick-fil-a on this topic for some reason.

  13. Cheshrin

    I don’t know what’s worse: the blatant homophobia on Ross’s part of he fact that they had to wait eight hours for a shitty chicken sandwich.

    1. Yotomoe

      I would’ve just broken down and gone to dairy queen and pretended they hated gays too.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Nah. They’re called “Queen”.

        1. John

          We lost something great when Dairy Freddie Mercury died.

        2. Yotomoe

          Personally, I prefer Dairy Jimmy Hendrix.

    2. timemonkey

      I doubt they actually waited eight hours, it’s likely short for ‘we had to wait what I felt was a really long time as a kid who wasn’t interested and didn’t want to be there’.

  14. Karin

    This is when they will buy EVERYTHING on the menu.

    1. Time Sage

      If Becky was smart, she’d walk out without buying anything.

    2. Speedball

      That explains how Ross got so stout.

  15. Niklink

    Wait, what? Didn’t the Chick-Fil-A controversy begin in 2011-2012? And doesn’t this strip take place in 2010? Even if it did take place in the current day, wouldn’t Becky be at least 14 by that time? Does this take place in 2020 or something?

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      14 years old is still a kid.

      Also this comic takes place with a sliding time scale. It always has.

      1. David M Willis

        And in just 9 days, she would have been 13.

    2. modulusshift

      “a kid” does not exclude teenagers. It operates on the binary adult/not adult, instead of the trinary child/teen/adult.

      And yeah, time is screwy for this comic. It always takes place in the present day, it just also always takes place in the first month or so of the school year.

      1. Kamino Neko

        Hey, now…we’re finally onto the SECOND month, now.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      You have to remember that DoA is set in the year 20XX and it’s a wibbily wobbly timey wimey sort of thing, if this comic goes on long enough, you could have characters who were using flip-phones in the first year using neuro-plants during the second year.

      1. Random832

        wibbly-wobbly enough that Ethan could plausibly have not known about it until Mike told him, yet the protests that Becky is referring to were all over the news.

    4. Kamino Neko

      Willis has been quite clear that DoA is not a period piece and is set in the non-specific ‘now’. It was set in 2010, when it started in 2010. It is set in 2015*, now.

      * Probably. We’re at the point where the present and the setting are out of whack enough that ‘the one just past’ and ‘the one coming up’ are both valid settings.

  16. vonniesaur

    This comic is the only reason I know about Chick-fil-a’s anti-gay agenda or even that Chick-fil-a exists…

    1. DarkoNeko

      Kinda same. I don’t think they’re particulary known outside the USA.

      1. tim gueguen

        It’s surprising they haven’t made a move into Canada, but maybe they figure the market is too tight here.

        1. AutobotDen

          That or they don’t want to go anywhere that legalized Gay Marriage (AKA MARRIAGE). Canada’s had marriage equality for at least 10 years now.

        2. Reltzik

          So now they are driven forth from the USA, not by persecution, but by their own intolerance! HUZZAH!

        3. Rukduk

          Yep, really made me laugh when all the ignorant Facebook homophobes early this year in the US were all “Well it’s time to move to Canada, the Supreme Court just legalized gay marriage.”

        4. DarkoNeko

          they did that for healthcare too, which was really, really ironic.

        5. timemonkey

          What makes you think Canada wants to deal with them?

    2. GreyLurker

      I heard about them when the initial protests happened but that’s pretty much it. Only Chicken places I can think of in Saskatchewan are KFC and Swiss Chalet. Swiss is ok but KFC gives me heart burn. In my head Chick-Fill-a is similar to KFC but worse, doubt I’ll ever find out for sure though

      1. tim guegue

        There was a Swiss Chalet in Saskatoon a long time ago. These days it’s a Denny’s. KFC has been in Saskatoon since 1954, and the Saskatoon franchise was the second in Canada.

        1. GreyLurker

          New Swiss opened up in Regina, I think last year, by Southland mall. All my friends were pretty excited for it.

    3. Cerberus

      I mostly remember it because it was a big deal at the time I was heavily involved in gay marriage activism, so I was writing a lot of articles about it and so on. Ironically enough, that’s when I learned about Chik-fil-A’s existence for the first time (west coast girl).

  17. Doctor Doom

    Doom dislikes Chick-Fil-A, as their sauce may in fact be their only true saving grace. Doom much prefers Zaxby’s. That shit is pretty good.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Huh. I would have thought you would prefer to have your minions cook traditional Latverian dishes or something of the like.

      1. Badluck1313

        No, you don’t understand. Zaxby’s IS a traditional Latverian dish, by decree of Doom.

  18. Zagreus

    Inspired by Becky’s face in that last panel:

    “Becky, Becky, ya gotta – *URP* – ya gotta protest at Chick-Fil-A, Becky! I’m gonna need you to wave this sign, and, and, and, sing catchy homophobic songs, Becky! It’s for a good cause!”

    “Aw, jeez, Dad, I don’t really want to do this. Wh-wh-wh-wh-what if we get in trouble or something? What if someone calls the cops?”

    “It’s okay, Becky! The Lord is on our side, Becky! Blessed are the chili cheesy fries or something like that, Becky! Ya just gotta BELIEVE, Becky! Ya just gotta BELIEVE!”

    “Oooooohhhh….”

    1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

      Rick would be pretty offended if he knew you were comparing him to toedad.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        That would be “un-Rick” of him to care. He might as well join the Council of Ricks at that point.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      Gunman-as-Rick is the best _______-as-Rick I’ve ever heard.

      1. Kamino Neko

        WTF is a Rick?

        1. JustCheetoDust

          A character sharing a name with that clown who demonstrated the effects of a taser while working for CNN. He’s like the Michael Bolton of being named “Rick Sanchez.”

    3. JustCheetoDust

      …Becky’s face in that last panel

      Great catch!

  19. DarkoNeko

    “Protested at a Chick-fil-a”, by buying sandwitches ? lol.

    1. neeks

      Protested protesters.

    2. Emma

      I think she meant counter protest?

      1. Reltzik

        Which, conveniently, involves ordering at the counter.

        … I’ll just show myself out.

  20. Someone

    Ive never understood homophobes,
    Gay people shouldn’t be homophobic for obvious reasons, and straight people shouldn’t be homophobic because of sexy lesbian make outs. Even if they’re female, they should still want sexy dude on dude make outs. Stop taking away my sexy lesbian make outs you bastards!

    1. Yotomoe

      In recent years I’ve started seeing people who don’t like lesbians because “They’ll never be interested in you and so you’re pathetic for liking them.” whch is weird logic to me because I like watching movies but I know for a fact that I’ll never blow up the death star.

      1. Someone

        someone should introduce them to bisexuals

        1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          But how? I thought we didn’t exist

        2. Someone

          Ive actually come up with a scientific theory about that

          see, straight people and gay people actually exist on 2 different planes of reality, these planes over lap and can interact with each other. However bisexuals exist on both planes at the same time, this screws with the fabric of reality causing invisibility.

        3. Yotomoe

          So what you’re saying is that if a straight person, a bisexual and a gay person have a three way, we can finally merge the realities?

        4. Someone

          thats still being tested

        5. altalemur

          wait wait wait wait…. what happens when a random pansexual genderqueer person enters the encounter? or does that depend on the entry trajectory? i expect it is much like what happens when blackhole passes by a system: the gravity goes wonky but we have no visual evidence directly of the blackhole. is the bisexual person the only one able to detect other elements?

        6. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          I volunteer as tribute!

        7. Yotomoe

          I’d volunteer as well, because it’s always been a dream of mine. However I don’t trust you, Meghan the Dream Crusher.

        8. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          :O Why Yoto! What could I have ever done to deserve that? Besides eating worlds and crushing dreams?

        9. Someone

          assuming your straight Yotomoe we just need the gay person,

          sigh ill go get Tom Cruise

        10. inqntrol

          Wait guys, you’ll also need an observer in case the experiment goes wrong or something like that…I volunteer!

        11. Captain Button

          Yes, but there would be a minor side effect. Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

        12. Yotomoe

          That sounds too abstract and fast to even be painful. I can’t form an emotion over that happening because it seems like such a brick wall.

        13. modulusshift

          I’m on it. Wait, can the straight and gay person be the same person? the bisexual is trans…

        14. Yotomoe

          This sounds like a riddle. Don’t tell me I’ll figure it out.

        15. Captain Button

          You get duplications in that case. Bisexuals get split into two identical people, except that one is straight and the other is gay*, like on Star Trek.

          * The one with the neatly trimmed beard is the gay one, of course. Yes, the lesbians have them too, science isn’t free.

        16. modulusshift

          That…might not solve any of my problems. :/

        17. Cerberus

          Wait, wait, what happens when an asexual joins in on this? Does it negate all universes or is it like matter and antimatter?

        18. Captain Button

          Asexuals soak up all the excess gayions and straightite wave packets, neutralizing them. Good thing too because otherwise you’d have a exponential chain reaction.

          That would be Bad.

        19. John

          I’m not entirely clear on what you’re trying to accomplish, but I can tell you that all it actually gets you is a hell of a fun evening.

        20. Freemage

          Isn’t this the basis of all the “Ethan/Danny/Amber” shipping we’ve encountered?

        21. Reltzik

          Nonono. It’s Shroedinger’s sexuality. You see, it’s only upon the sexuality being observed that the sexual waveform collapses and- *rest of post censored for extreme absurdity and/or offensiveness*

        22. Ghola

          Because monogamous bisexuals don’t exist. According to both the gay and straight communities…

          *Flips the biggest bird I can find*

          *Runs from angered Emu*

      2. lejwocky

        Well you certainly won’t with that attitude

      3. Rutee

        I still have no earthly idea what straight men are getting out of ‘lesbian’ porn or tentacle porn.

        1. Huttj509

          “She’s cute, and seems to be having fun.”

          The number of people I’m interested in having a romp with is MUCH less than the people in porn.

    2. DarkoNeko

      Well, homophobes hate gay males in particulars. Because, and I quote “lesbians are ok, that’s hot”.

      …I’ll go drink my sorrows in coffee now.

      1. Someone

        don’t drink it, throw it on their faces

        1. DarkoNeko

          Coffee is love, coffee is life.

      2. Gecko

        Unless they’re ugly lesbians, or trans lesbians, who can all fuck off along with the gay dudes.

    3. Jess

      But I don’t wanna see guy on guy or girl on girl makeouts.
      I just want to be made out with.

    4. Lena

      Fetishizing lesbians or gay men or bi men/women etc.. is still gross and homophobic though.

      1. Gecko

        I don’t even know what to call it, really. I mean, I’m okay with people who get off to that (I’m lesbian and still any combination can be hot to me in fiction) but what I’m not okay with is, like… “Yaoi” fan girls who think it’s gross for a girl to like lesbian pairings, and who don’t give a shit about real people’s rights or feelings as long as they can get their hawt boy on boy action someplace. (As in, it’s okay for girls to like seeing boys together because it proves how straight they are, and vice versa. Still the gay pairings are viewed as a guilty pleasure; as inherently dirty.)
        Or in general, people who like gay porn, and trans people in a sexualized narrative, but don’t support the actual existence and rights of the same people in real life. Reducing queer and trans and intersex people to entertainment for straight cis people.

        1. Freemage

          So, someone replied to this comment, with a post full of condensed ignorance. Then that post got deleted while I was typing up my response, which has left my reply in moderation limbo.

          I think I’m fine with the idea that Willis is faster at moderating than I am at correcting people.

        2. Cerberus

          This.

          It’s okay to enjoy porn, even if that porn is often presenting a hyperbolic and woefully inaccurate depiction of real life identities (and sometimes a downright offensive portrayal of it *coughcough* tr*** porn *cough cough* ), but too often people voice their support of fictional or porn depictions of identities while denying real people with those identities full human rights.

  21. Yotomoe

    I have to constantly weigh my disdain for Chick-fil-A’s politics and how much I just don’t like Mcdonalds in general whenever I decide to go for lunch.
    Why oh Why did Dairy Queen shut down. They had a $5 meal deal. A $5 MEAL DEAL!!! You were too good for this world…

  22. Spencer

    I boycott Chik-Fil-A, though that’s pretty easy since I’ve never seen one in my life.

    Thanks heavens Tim Hortons has no dark secrets that would morally compel me to stop going there.

    (please don’t tell me any of Tim Hortons’ dark secrets)

    1. modulusshift

      Haha, you already know they exist, I don’t even have to say anything.

    2. tim gueguen

      Their donuts aren’t as good as they used to be? I guess that’s not a dark secret. This also reminds me of how long it’s been since I’ve been in one. Must be a month.

      1. Spencer

        What kind of Canadian are you?!

        (Those new premium donuts are actually really good)

        1. tim gueguen

          One who doesn’t drink coffee, so I only go in for donuts, and lately I’ve been buying donuts at a local Co Op store.

        2. Dellaran

          I got pretty attached to Timmy’s hot chocolate the year I lived in Hamilton. (Home of Tim Horton’s Store #1!)

        3. IDontcarenomore

          Actually we have Tim Hortons in Mi. So I get to like their coffee and donuts.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          This is what I get for moving out of Detroit.

      2. segnosaur

        Yeah I think they changed the way they make donuts… from the regular to a baked off site then frozen method.

        1. timemonkey

          It was necessary to keep up with the demand. Customers become complete hate spewing assholes if you keep them waiting longer than 10 seconds for anything.

        2. Kamino Neko

          That’s not exactly recent, though. They were doing it at least 11 years ago (probably closer to 13, but I left that job 11 years ago).

    3. Opus the Poet

      Tim Horten’s was bought by Burger King, who are now replacing as many Canadian employees with illegal Mexican immigrants as they can, to reduce costs.

    4. Murphy

      I’m in your boat. I would take a moral stance but I don’t even have to do that. There’s just no nearby Chick fil A’s.

      1. Captain Button

        I have a similar problem with Fair Trade Coffee. I hate coffee, so changing my purchasing preferences on it doesn’t count for much.

        (Coffee flamewar derail starts here:)

  23. modulusshift

    I’m so, so gay, but I can’t stop eating Chik-fil-a, I have a problem… Well, I do know that all of the support and love I give to people in my life is going to impact the world much more than the maybe few hundred bucks I’ll give to Chik-fil-a total over my life, a significant portion of which actually has to go to making the food I’m paying for.

    If I could make the choice for everyone at once, I’d definitely say shut it down. but since I can only really speak for me, I’m at least happy to be gay-neutral at worst. I most certainly am not carbon-neutral, and I feel really strongly about that, too.

    1. tim gueguen

      I want to try Dominos chicken, even though they give to crappy right wing causes. I think I’ve had one of their pizzas once.

      1. modulusshift

        Fuck, them too? damnit.

        1. Spencer

          nooooo

        2. modulusshift

          I made them give me a free pizza once, maybe that helps cancel out the few hundred bucks they made off of me last year alone? damnit, they’re high volume enough in my diet that I feel bad not cutting them out. Is Papa John’s bad, too?

        3. Opus the Poet

          Oh yes, Papa John’s put as many of the delivery people as they could on 34 hour weeks to avoid having to provide them with health insurance under the ACA.

        4. modulusshift

          It’s okay, Domino’s no longer has any association with the founder, who is the openly anti-gay guy. No money you spend at Domino’s is used for problematic causes anymore. Now, if you ate there a few years ago, you’ve got some apologizing to do, mister. `__`

        5. IDontcarenomore

          So do most of the retail stores and fast food places in the US.
          They have their employees on all short hours, as long as its under the required amount the govt. says requires them to pay Heath benefits.

        6. Jezi

          Yeah, almost all retail and fast food places keep their people part-time to avoid paying benefits, and have since before Obama was ever elected.

          The difference is that John Schnatter made a big public deal about the fact that he was doing it BECAUSE OF TEH OBAMACARES. I guess he was expecting support as a fellow Real American Job Creator, whereas what he got was backlash from people who realized he was a multimillionaire whose massive corporation was screwing over its working-class employees.

        7. Rutee

          Papa Johns is fucking terrible, yes. They punished their workers when Obama won round 2, with then-CEO going on repeated rants about how poor people were ruining things.

      2. Yotomoe

        Dominos is right wing? I eat their pizza ALL the time nonstop.
        Do their right wings at least taste better than their left wings? What about their right drumsticks? Is there a right sauce I can put on that?

        1. Needfuldoer

          Move to New England, switch to Papa Gino’s as your exclusive fast-food pizza emporium.

      3. modulusshift

        Also, their chicken is okay. They have great ideas with the sauces, though.

        1. chefhoag

          Gotta tell ya…just about the WORST pizza I’ve ever had was from Domino’s (or, as I put it, “Abominos”). Whether they’re right- or left-wing doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned, their food SUCKS, so they don’t get my money.

        2. Yotomoe

          MORE LIKE OBAMANOS. *leaps backwards into a crowd of cheering political figures despite the fact that I literally have no idea what stance they think I take.*

        3. modulusshift

          You gotta negotiate with their menu. If you just throw ingredients on that you think might be good, you’re probably not going to enjoy it. Roughly half of their prebuilt pizzas are pretty good combos, the rest are just okay.

          I have gamed the system, though. If you order chicken, bacon, and alfredo sauce instead of tomato on a crispy crust pizza, something about it all comes together. I can eat that stuff for days. and I normally hate thin crusts.

        4. Yotomoe

          I’m gonna keep this combination in mind next time I get dominos.

        5. modulusshift

          Hope it works for you!

      4. AnishY

        Okay, by “they” give to crappy right wing causes, you should read “the founder, and only the founder”.

        1. AnishY

          Snopes link to support my point.

        2. modulusshift

          Ooh, never mind, so according to the end of this I can still eat Domino’s, yay!

        3. modulusshift

          That’s really similar to the Chik-fil-a situation, though. It’s the family behind the company that’s bad, and they spend a lot of their own money giving to those causes. Unless someone dug up more dirt since I last checked in on them.

  24. Guairdean

    I’m surprised any Chick-Fil-A is still open. Not because of their stand on any issue, just because their chicken is disgusting.

    1. Guairdean

      In case anyone’s interested, I prefer Cane’s. http://www.raisingcanes.com/

      1. modulusshift

        Oh wow, that actually looks interesting, and there’s one near me. I’ll try it.

    2. John

      I think it falls into the same “It’s cheaper than food!” category as Taco Bell.

      1. timemonkey

        I can’t even eat Taco Bell it’s so bad. It literally kicks my gag reflex so hard I vomit, sometimes just from the smell.

  25. detective boomwolf

    I always thought it was a bad idea for Chick Fil-A to straight up say gay people weren’t welcone. Mainly since it wasn’t worth it. You’d alienate people who took offense to that, and it’s not like you’d be able to tell who is gay and who isn’t, so chances are you’d still have gay people in there. Shoot, sometimes I wonder if some gay people eat there on purpose just to spite em. Be in there like, “Yeah, I’m eatin here even though I ain’t welcome. And I’m eatin your cruddy waffle fries too.”

    Yeah, I don’t really like Chick-fil-a fries. Just… no.

    1. modulusshift

      The saddest thing about the fries is that you can almost taste that the ingredients are good, but there’s gotta be some cost cutting in the actual cooking process, because it doesn’t come together right at all. :/

      Meanwhile, the chicken is the exact opposite, the ingredients are okay, but something magical happens in the cooking that makes that greasy shit freaking addictive, and you hate yourself and love yourself and the dark is within the light and the light within the dark and total balance is achieved in the universe for a split second as you consider the taste on your tongue.

      Maybe I should tell them that their chicken drives me to blasphemy?

    2. Yotomoe

      I’m pretty sure it’s one of those things where that doesn’t matter. Even if you go into a Chick-Fil-A and buy food and are like “I’m a gay person! Take that” I’d Guarantee most people don’t care. The teenagers working there to pay rent don’t care. The manager probably doesn’t care. And anyone higher up probably doesn’t pay enough attention to the individual facilities to care. A franchise isn’t really a hive-mind like that.

    3. WingedBeast

      It’s not that they said gay people aren’t welcome.

      It’s that they give money to organizations like Focus on the Family (“the” is a key word, there’s only one Family, donchanknow) that lobby against gay rights. In part, they helped fund that one guy who went and lobbied, in Uganda, for the death penalty for homosexuality.

      So, if you’re gay, Chick-Fil-A will take your money… then give it to people who will lobby to make it so that you will be put to death for being gay.

      No, it wasn’t about free speech. For the people supporting, it was all about making sure their team won… regardless of what their team was trying to win at the moment.

      1. Cerberus

        Wellll…

        “Chick-fil-A is “very much supportive of the family,” according to Dan Cathy, president of the popular fast food chain. That is, “the biblical definition of the family unit,” he said.

        And that doesn’t include Adam and Steve, suggests Cathy, whose father S. Truett Cathy founded the Atlanta-based company.

        In a new interview with Baptist Press, Cathy puts on the record what critics say his company’s actions have indicated for years. “Well, guilty as charged,” he said in the interview when asked about Chick-fil-A’s backing of families led by a man and a woman.

        The controversy took flight in mid-July after Cathy gave an interview to the Biblical Recorder, on online journal for Baptists in North Carolina. In the July 2 story — picked up by the Baptist Press on July 16 — Cathy affirmed that his company backs the traditional family unit.

        “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit,” Cathy said. “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”

        “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say ‘we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage’ and I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about,” Cathy also said during an appearance on the Ken Coleman talk show. “

  26. Victor Riley

    There’s a Chick-Fil-A that opened up locally to me… and I’ve vowed to NEVER eat at their restaurants, I don’t care if that shit cures cancer, and gives me orgasms with each bite.

    I also won’t eat Barilla pasta, or give to the Salvation Army. When you go out of your way to hate on gay or trans-people (even though I am not either), you will never get my money or business if I can help it.

    I’m not infringing on their “free speech”, because I’m not a government trying to arrest them. But I speak with my wallet, and choose to shop based on my own values, more so then looking for a value.

    1. Yotomoe

      Man…imagine if there was a food that both cured cancer and gave you orgasms with each bite. That would be amazing for cancer patients.

      Although I feel like EVERY bite giving you an orgasm would either start to hurt or just make orgasms in general feel less special.

      1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

        The real question is if the orgasms are proportional to the size of the bite you take.

        1. Yotomoe

          If you’re one of these people who takes huge bites or eats several nuggets at once you might start seizing from intense pleasure.

        2. modulusshift

          Can we make an eating contest porno? 😀

        3. Bleeters

          Pretty sure Food Wars almost has that covered already.

        4. DarkoNeko

          Urgh, that manga, seriously.

        5. detective boomwolf

          Lets face it, twenty bucks says its already a thing. Rule34 man, and eating contests most certainly exist.

        6. Yotomoe

          I know for a FACT that there’s a fetish for eating and DEFINITELY one for overeating. And a weight gain fetish on top of that.

        7. detective boomwolf

          I, like many before me, believe in one thing with absolute certainty. And thats Rule34. If it exists, ods are someone somewhere has made porn of it. There’s a lid for every pot, and there’s a fetish for every person. And if one doesn’t exist, bet your bottom dollar someone will make it exist. Rule34, a near inescapable truth.

        8. Captain Button

          Quantum Fetish Mechanics.

        9. detective boomwolf

          See? 50 bucks says theres a fetish for Quantum Fetish Mechanics too.

        10. inqntrol

          Here’s a hard rule 34 that I bet no one has made it: The Universe

        11. Doomprix

          ahh but inqntrol universes slam into each other all the time and swirl and combine into something bigger, infact ours the milky Way, is going to do so in a million or more years. So by that fact wouldn’t that constitute as falling under Rule 34? two things going at it to make a, “new thing”?

        12. Cephalo the Pod

          …I think you’re talking about galaxies.

        13. Roborat

          I am pretty sure there is steven universe porn out there.

        14. Tenn

          @inqntrol: Excel Saga did universe porn 16 years ago: https://youtu.be/lyaSd7Dn8iM?t=4m26s

          …Okay, it’s just the Universe the Great Will of the Macrocosm enjoying a post-coital cigarette, but there would have been porn if the pre-cigarettal coitus had been shown on-screen. 😛

      2. Reltzik

        I can’t help but feel that food that gave orgasms with every bite would constitute a serious choking hazard.

        … and I’ll avoid making the next pun, because I think we can all see where that is headed.

      3. altalemur

        pot brownies pretty much fill both of those descriptors, yet it is a federal crime to make them.

    2. Petra

      Ah… I really like Chick-Fil-A. I didn’t really know about their policies until I saw the strip with Mike and Ethan, then I forgot… but usually it’s my parents deciding where to go and paying, anyway, and it’d be rude to turn that down. I guess I won’t go on my own, though!

      1. Petra

        I also feel bad because I was a bellringer once for Salvation Army when I was in middle school, through a program at my church. I don’t really go to that church anymore… it’s not openly bigoted or anything and most people are very lovely and I like the community, but it does make me uncomfortable and I want to find a church that would be a bit more welcoming to me, tbh.

        1. modulusshift

          I totally feel you. I’m not very religious anymore, but I assure you, good healthy loving churches exist, that don’t discriminate towards anyone. Good luck!

        2. Petra

          Yeah! I know they’re out there. It’s awkward trying to explain to my parents why I don’t want to go to their church anymore (I stay with them on weekends a lot from college). My parents are very lovely people, but they’ve got some less-lovely base ideologies. Fortunately, they’ve shown the willingness to re-evaluate and show love instead of shunning people, but it’s still… siiigh. I know it wouldn’t be any easier if my parents were dug-in or overt bigots, but the subtle stuff hurts, too.

        3. modulusshift

          Uh huh. I’m going to have some explaining to do about my relationship when it’s not long distance anymore. At least for my mom and stepdad. I’m not really sure how it’s going to go. I’m pretty sure it’ll end up okay, but it could be a bumpy road in the middle.

        4. Yotomoe

          Just make your own church! With Blackjack! And Hookers! In fact! Forget the church.

        5. DarkoNeko

          Why would you need Dr Blackjack ?

          …

          wait…

        6. inqntrol

          He’s quite the ladies man, plus he’s a doctor.

        7. Petra

          Well, heck, Jesus hung out with prostitutes!

    3. timemonkey

      Don’t buy their food but totally use their bathrooms whenever you need to take a really nasty shit. It wrecks the atmosphere that is important to sell food products and drives customers away.

    4. Gecko

      Yeah, businesses have a right to put their money where they choose, and so do I. They have a right to express whatever views they like, and I have a right to spend my money as I please. Pretty simple.

      …Adidas can filter out queer words from their shoes and I can filter out Adidas.

    5. Carolyn

      Barilla pasta too?! Is no cheap food untainted?!

  27. Levi

    I was so excited by the strip title, and it was a good strip, but it was not the strip I was hoping for.

    1. Captain Button

      This is not the strip you are looking for. [/Jedi]

    2. segnosaur

      Its not the strip you want but its the strip you need. [/Batman]

      1. timemonkey

        I really can’t wait until that stops getting quoted.

        1. Tacos

          Then you shall wait for all time. Though given your name, that might not be a problem.

    3. Reltzik

      But I still haven’t found the strip you’re looking for. [/Bono]

  28. Dash Jovis

    I remember the one time I ate at Chick-Fil-A. It was the only goddamn restaurant in the airport where I was waiting for my trans friend to get off of a plane. I liked the suffering, but the bigotry left a bad taste in my mouth. Good thing the irony was delicious.

  29. Keith

    Heh, never got the fuss. The chicken is ‘okay’ and overpriced. Popeye’s or even dare I say KFC is better imho. I don’t eat there because I have taste and I’m cheap. I’ve been bought for the price of a quadmocha*. *whole milk, ghirradelli chocolate.

  30. leadsynth

    Aww! They’re holding hands! 😀

  31. Skizz

    Always amuses me the different stances people take. Everyone rallied around the Golden State Warriors, people keep trying to get me to boycott Chik Fil A. I did neither.

  32. Tsukasa829

    Wait… The one in the mall closed?

    1. David M Willis

      This is the one which used to be in the basement of the library.

      There is a new stand-alone one just outside the mall, though.

      1. Tsukasa829

        Ah… Okay. I lived in B-town a few years ago and I knew the food court at the mall was a little hit and miss, but Chick-fil-a tends to be an anchor in most. Thanks for the explanation.

  33. Matt

    Who knows maybe bigotry is just the secret to making really good chicken sandwich.

    1. Yotomoe

      Then clearly Chick-Fil-A doesn’t hate gays nearly enough cuz their chicken sandwiches are average at best.

    2. timemonkey

      If you think any fast food chain has the secret to any kind fo good food I beg you to try out new restaurants.

  34. Tacos

    I’ve only eaten Chik-Fil-A twice when I was living in Georgia. I thought it was largely forgettable. The food wasn’t bad but neither was it something that’d make me go back for. Here in Phoenix, AZ where I live now, there are a few but there are a whole lot of other better places to eat

  35. IDontcarenomore

    There are many reasons not to eat at specific restaurants: politics is really pretty low on most peoples radar.
    Like me.

    I think that they are really wrong. But then, they or their chief spokesman – or whoever he/she is has a right to say, or think, what they want.
    And I have the right to think they are assholes.
    (as someone has already said earlier on this post.)

    Incidentley, I don’t eat at Chick Fil A because I think their food is awful.

    1. Willoughby Chase

      Chick-Fil-A – like all corporations/companies in Western Liberal states – cannot do as they want. That’s the fallacy propagated by the Tea Party tendency.

      Just as the right to free expression or free speech isn’t an absolute, corporations are free to employ/serve anyone within the limits set down by the law.

      Discrimination by gender, race, sexual preference or religion is illegal in the UK. I imagine it would be in the US as well.

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      I mean it’s easy to say politics are pretty low on a reason to choose a place to eat when you aren’t personally affected by the politics of the business. It’s harder to go “Eh politics” when people high up in the corporation are actively a part of another organization that fights against your rights. (And money from the corporation goes to the anti gay organization)

      Though the main reason I haven’t eaten at Chick Fil A is a distaste for fast food in general and living in the state of New York. (Not sure if they have any locations there).

      1. Spencer

        This.

        Not caring about the politics of a business is a political statement in of itself.

        1. Cerberus

          Infinitely this and the one above it.

          When you choose to support the status quo or ignore a social issue, that is a political action in and of itself and oftentimes it is not a neutral one, but one that is often actively dismissing a marginalized group.

    3. Cerberus

      Cool.

      But since they and other organizations have supported groups that call me a child molester for existing as a trans woman and urge policies and attitudes that put me at physical risk, I have made a different financial decision.

  36. Rukduk

    I had Chick-Fil-A once with my parents when I was ten. It was overrated. Kinda crap actually. We never went again. In retrospect, very happy about that.

  37. AutobotDen

    I ate their food once. back in 2005. I wasn’t too impressed. I’d rather have a Steak-n-Shake in my area.

  38. TlalocW

    The most fun I had with all my conservative relatives posting pictures of themselves or re-posting pics of Sarah Palin holding up their food orders in Chick-Fil-A when the protests were going on was “mistakingly” commenting on how they were broadcasting their support for Coca-Cola who I pointed out had a very progressive attitude toward LGBT issues.

  39. Reltzik

    Regarding the news post: Is it possible that it can go wrong by unexpectedly beginning two to three weeks early and thus throwing off all your plans?

    …. you know, as a remote, worst-case-but-not-really-worst-case possibility?

  40. Kitschensyngk

    Three years ago, during Chick-fil-A’s gay marriage controversy, you could not imagine that they would even open a restaurant in the progressive college town where I live. At the time all we had of the chain was a food stand in one of our college cafeterias.

    Just last summer, they finally opened a franchise here.

  41. HiiroArana79

    Velma and Hot Dog Water don’t work there anymore?

  42. Bagge

    Fudge you Ross

  43. Willoughby Chase

    Chick-Fil-A: It’s far worse than you think:

    http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2007/0723/080.html

    Looks like it’s more of a cult than a company.

    Pretty sure their hiring practices are discriminatory as they tend to only employ christians.

    ‘I’m not working for Chick-fil-A; I’m working for the Lord.’

    To my eyes that’s very, very bizarre.

    1. Doomprix

      Cows wearing human costumes, its gotta be…

    2. Madock345

      TIL Chick-Fil-A is really weird at the corporate level.

      I’ve known a lot of guys who worked at the local franchises and they never described anything like this. Neat.

      1. Cerberus

        Well, yeah, the bottom rungs aren’t usually viewed as human beings by these companies.

        Unfortunately, it is those corporate levels who often make the policies that fuck over those on the bottom rungs, either by actively or passively discriminating certain groups or creating social support to shift managers or store managers who choose to discriminate or by straight up impacting the workers’ abilities to be treated the same as their fellow workers.

  44. Tualha

    Okay, ladies. You’re a lesbian couple standing in front of a Chick-fil-A. You know what that means, right?

    Time for public smoochies!

  45. Frank

    So wait – didn’t the whole chik-fil-a thing happen only in 2012? Or does this also fall under the umbrella of comic book time?

  46. Noclevername

    Yes, their chicken tastes pretty good. But it’s overhyped, IMO.

  47. Madock345

    Didn’t chick fill a mostly stop the donating they were doing after the scandal? I didn’t realize people were still upset about that. Whatever, it’s too delicious to deny.

  48. zoomer296

    Is that Taco Bell? That’s the same exact view of Chick-fil-A that I have from my local Taco Bell.

  49. Daikaiju

    Lil’ update…
    http://www.grubstreet.com/2015/11/christian-groups-protest-chick-fil-a.html

  50. Tranquilled

    How old is Becky that she was in a counter-protest at Chick-Fil-A as “a kid”? Alternatively, there were Chick-Fil-A protests before 2012? (There is in fact Chick-Fil-A in New York City, but it was so out of the way I didn’t learn until the controversy broke out that they sold chicken and not falafel.)

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      No idea when they started but if you check the Chick Fil A tag on this comic it shows Mike and Ethan discussing it back in 2011.

      As of right now I guess that would make Becky around 14 at the time of the protest. Which still counts for being a kid.

      1. Tranquilled

        Ah, okay. In that context it certainly does make sense.

    2. Emma

      This comic operates in comic book time. It’s not going to, as Willis said, slowly become a period piece. So, Becky can be 18 now and have been a child when they protested Chick-Fil-A.

  51. Toes14

    It’s kind of sad that their owners/corporate thinks like they do, because they serve a quality product with very good customer service. In my mind, Chick-Fil-a is the model of how a fast food restaurant should be run, except for two things:

    1) Stance on non-heteros
    2) Not being open on Sundays (when I always seem to want some!)

  52. JustCheetoDust

    All this talk about fried chicken, and none of it is about Korean fried chicken. Korean Robocop would be sad.

    1. inqntrol

      He has the fridge he took from that family at his disposal to drown his sadness in booze, I’m sure he’ll be fine.

  53. Lan

    Man I don’t even like Chick-fil-a. Their food tastes funny and tends to makes me ill for a few days. It’s why I either eat KFC or just chicken nuggets. No weird hate-barf for me.

  54. Yu'Karaya

    Boycotting Chik-fil-a was easy up north cause there are hardly any around. Then I moved down south and they’re everywhere and my roommates took me to one a year ago and I fucked up

  55. Jimmy

    I love Chik-fil-a but the closest one is about a half an hour drive, so I don’t bother. I don’t feel like eating at a restaurant supports their values. If people truly believe that, they should become Amish.

  56. Kernanator

    Ahem.

    You’re a mean one, Mr. Ross
    You really are a heel
    You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Ross,
    You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

    You’re a monster, Mr. Ross,
    Your heart’s an empty hole,
    Your brain is full of spiders, you’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Ross,
    I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

    You’re a vile one, Mr. Ross,
    You have termites in your smile,
    You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Ross,
    Given the choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

    You’re a foul one, Mr. Ross,
    You’re a nasty wasty skunk,
    Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Ross,
    The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
    Stink! Stank! Stunk!

    You’re a rotter, Mr. Ross,
    You’re the king of sinful sots,
    Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Ross,
    Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
    assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

    You nauseate me, Mr. Ross,
    With a nauseous super-naus
    You’re a crooked jerky jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Ross,
    You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

  57. wakeangel2001

    those Chick-fil-A supporters seemed to forget that freedom of speech absolutely does NOT mean freedom from consequences. Sure they were free to say they oppose gay rights all they want, as is their right, but then they have to accept that people who don’t approve of that would then refuse to eat there, and that hundreds of gay and bisexual people were ALSO free to make out right in front of their restaurants as much as they wanted.

    1. Freemage

      A boycott–be it personal or organized–is, in fact, just another manifestation of free speech (money = speech is pretty much an ongoing theme of multiple SCOTUS rulings about campaign finance). I take this position even when I disagree with the particular boycott (such as the Dixie Chicks’ fans revolting over their anti-war comments). And anti-boycotts are, in turn, ALSO free speech.

      1. Freemage

        Meant to include:

        What makes the difference is the content and purpose of the speech. Boycott supporters were advocating for freedom from religious dogma in our laws; boycott opponents (such as Ross) claimed to be fighting for religious rights, but were actually just advocating for the right to oppress everyone not of their particular interpretation of their religious texts.

        1. Rheios

          I meant technically it wasn’t like Chick-fil-a was actually refusing gay customers, iirc. The dude who owns them is just a dumbass.
          Although I tend to be of the opinion anyone should be able to deny anyone at their establishment and then the free-market should just crush their business under the weight of competitors who allow everyone but that requires more people to be decent human beings than there are.

      2. Cerberus

        This and what wakeangel said.

        Free speech is not freedom from critique or consequence. I have a right to use epithets designed to wound marginalized group members, argue for the murder of individuals who belong to marginalized groups, or to otherwise be a complete asshole.

        But others have the rights to call me out, think of me less. If I am a public official, people have the right to call for my impeachment or work for my opponent in campaigns. People have the right to critique me, even harshly, even using really nasty, angry, violent language. People have the right to hate me. If I am breaking a law by my speech by veering into conspiracy to commit a hate crime or encitement, I can be arrested. My words can be used as evidence in favor of arguing that other illegal actions on my part constitute a hate crime, and people can abandon me or call for others to not spend money at businesses I own or work for. People even have the right to call for me to be fired or to keep permanent record of the hateful words I said and play them back at me at future dates.

        Freedom of speech does not mean others don’t get to use their speech and doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for utilizing it in ways designed to hurt others.

  58. Emma

    It’s interesting to me that Joyce’s family tries to make their reasoning for their bigotry into something that’s okay sounding, (but isn’t actually okay and doesn’t even make sense) but Ross is more blatant with his hate. I wonder if Becky’s mom was more like Ross or more like Joyce’s parents.

    It seems like Joyce’s family wanted to raise her to think she loves and cares about all people, but Ross wanted Becky to know that these people are going to hell and you should hate them.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      I honestly prefer Ross’s honesty about matters. There’s little I loath more than a mealymouthed bigot.

  59. A. B.

    What about the chik-fil-a in Bloomington, Illinois? Well, last I was there, it was connected to IL state.

  60. Whittier

    Re: the hovertext: In my experience, Bloomington has two kinds of businesses: those that just closed and those that are about to close.

    1. David M Willis

      This one was open for 20 years!

    2. itachi_0501

      Hey, B’ton has PLENTY of businesses with longevity! Not only the Chic-Fil-A that #DamnYouWillis mentioned, but also the local comic shop, at which I have had the pleasure to mingle with him; several bars; and, believe it or not, a good old-fashioned walk-right-in, sit-on-down MEN’S BARBER SHOP (though it has moved more than once).

  61. Proper Dave

    I have been waiting soooo long to post Proper Chicken Paprika …

    http://www.pseudopod.empty-spaces.net/page1/files/0550f1f5eeb4bafeeb8c671a269899e2-18.html

  62. Wafflebob

    Becky looks to have a case of Rick and Morty mouth.

  63. itachi_0501

    Also:

    Dave, the Chick-Fil-A at College Mall may have moved, but it’s been in the current food court since they did that re-model (2011, IIRC). And what’s more, they have a stand-alone store (where the Frisch’s used to be), no more than 1000′ from the mall itself!

  64. Icalasari

    Her nose shadow looks like a mouth and her mouth a chin in the last panel

  65. Dez

    I had never heard about Chick-Fil-A before they got mentioned in this comic a few years ago, and had to google the whole thing.

    Dumbing of Age is educational.

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