163

Wad
Posted on January 11, 2020 by David M Willis

163 thoughts on “Wad”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Robin’s just practicing her filibuster. She wanted to see how long she could hold the floor.

    1. shadowcell

      it’s over, Anakin! she has the low ground!

      1. Someguy

        You underestimate my power.

    2. Bagge

      Hah!

    3. anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness

      As quoted from my various WoW personas –
      “Ah floor. How I have missed your cool, firm embrace.”

  2. Ana Chronistic

    Note to self: hardcore fucking is chaste as long as it’s on the floor

    1. Clif

      Noted.

    2. LeslieBean4shizzle

      **opens mouth to bring up real world experience**
      **realizes that would be the very definition of To Much Information**
      **instead writes meta post about not actually writing about the TMI post**

      1. DSL

        “Realizes that the TMI Post was sort of written anyway.”

        1. LeslieBean4shizzle

          Oh no, not at all.
          See, the current version is pleasantly vague. I could be referring to having sex on the floor, or group sex, or both. It also lends an air of mystery to the whole affair, but offers no confirmation on exactly what I am referring to.

        2. Clif

          And what we can imagine is so much better.

          Probably.

        3. DSL

          Mind you, there’s an element of subjectivity to TMI on both sender’s and receiver’s part.

    3. Delicious Taffy

      That’s a good way to get carpet burn in some really regrettable places.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Burnt carpet sounds like the absolute worst.

      2. miri

        You can move the blanket onto the floor first. It’s still stuff happening on the floor and therefore chaste.

    4. HeySo

      Sounds just like the kind of nonsensical loophole our politicians would attempt to use (likely under the same circumstance, no less), yeah. 😛

    5. ValdVin

      If you have two people on a bed, per the Hays Code, one of them has to keep one foot on the floor.

      Ipso facto, if there are two people on the floor in embrace, one of them has to keep a foot on the bed.

      1. Ryek Hvek

        Hays was an epically lousy lover.

  3. WaterKey

    Wait…. did I do the impossible?

    1. WaterKey

      Nope. Someone else did though.

      But hey, bronze medal. Woo!

      1. Doctor_Who

        Licking your elbow.

        I’ve done it, but it was a story involving multiple regenerations meeting, so I’m told it doesn’t count.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Drat, replied to wrong comment.

        2. Clif

          Works though.

        3. David

          Congratulations, Clif, for the shortest summary of the Kamasutra I have so far had the honor to behold.

    2. King Daniel

      What is the impossible?

      1. Reltzik

        Getting first post. It’s reserved for anachronistic Time Lords.

        1. King Daniel

          Have I done the impossible then?

        2. Clif

          That was your predecessor, the Emperor.

      2. Beef

        Ana Chronistic is usualy the first to comment when a comic goes up so people always treats it like a big deal when somebody else comments first (though basically commenting “first” is kind of cheating)

        1. Clif

          All is fair in commenting first and premarital hanky-panky.

    3. Agemegos

      Nope.

  4. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . Was Robin just . . passed out on the floor that entire night? I mean granted that’s not hard to see but one would imagine that Dina and Becky would have seen or at least tripped over her before crawling into bed right?

    1. King Daniel

      Who says Robin went to bed before them?

    2. Needfuldoer

      Honestly, that would be pretty on-brand for Robin.

  5. Reltzik

    I have to agree with Becky’s fundie upbringing on this one. Having hanky-pankied her girlfriend and having just slept in the same bed with her girlfriend are equally-troubling.

    1. BarerMender

      In my book, sleeping with your girlfriend for the first time and NOT hanky-pankying is what’s disturbing. There she is, right next to you. Get busy already.

      1. Kalirren

        Am I the only person here who slept with their first RL significant other for three whole months before actually engaging in hanky-panky?

        1. thejeff

          Nope. Longer than that before we actually had sex, but a slow gradual escalation up to that point.

          She was willing to sleep with me because she trusted that we wouldn’t go farther than that, which makes the “There she is, right next to you. Get busy already.” seem pretty creepy to me.

        2. Reltzik

          Short version: Not having consenting adult sex because that’s your comfort level and you’re enjoying what you have is great, but not having sex despite really wanting to because you’ve been brainwashed from childhood by a misogynistic cult obsessed with sexuality is still disturbing.

        3. David

          You don’t just switch off getting brainwashed from childhood by a misogynistic cult obsessed with sexuality. If you do, it just switches itself back on at the least convenient of times. You have to redirty your brain one cerebral convolution at a time in order for it to stick.

        4. Reltzik

          Oh, sure, not blaming the victim here. It’s the child-brainwashing misogynistic cult obsessed with sexuality that’s the disturbing part.

        5. thejeff

          That girlfriend was from a Catholic family and the pressure from that certainly contributed to her wanting to delay.

          Other than the most extreme cases, it’s difficult to distinguish “brainwashing” from just “how I was brought up”.

        6. Reltzik

          Again, not blaming the victim. But I’m willing to file the Catholic Church under the heading of “child-brainwashing misogynistic cult obsessed with sexuality”.

        7. BarerMender

          But Dina has already stated her willingness. Dina isn’t the holdup, here.

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      Well yes, 0 = 0.

  6. ian livs

    Sad to say, Becky’s thinking here isn’t hyperbolic. Like, the first time I slept over at a friend’s place along w my now-spouse (we were just dating at the time, though quite serious), I woke up the next morning with this horrible sense of weird religious guilt even if all we’d done was sleep next to each other and make out a little. Ah… how young and easily startled I was.

    1. Schpoonman

      I hope she quickly gets over her guilt for something that is so obviously good for her (Dina’s love).

    2. Needfuldoer

      Every so often we need a reminder that Becky and Joyce grew up in the same religious culture.

  7. Kravis

    I’m a bit (very) concerned about Becky’s eyes in panel 2.

    1. Clif

      Do they remind you of her love?

  8. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: Does the Congresswoman On the Floor Make This a Threesome?

    1. King Daniel

      Dumbing of Age Book X: I Think It Would Be Important Enough To Remember

      1. Agemegos

        Yup.

      2. Bicycle Bill

        Make it so, Willis.

      3. Needfuldoer

        Perfection.

    2. BigDogLittleCat

      The Floor is Properly Chaste. GET IT TOGETHER.

    3. Schpoonman

      Dumbing of Age Book 10: Curse My Insatiable Desire For Your Perfect Form!

    4. Keulen

      DoA Book 10: That Is Equally Troubling!

    5. Rex Vivat

      I came here looking for this. I wasn’t disappointed.

  9. Lawzlo

    Someone’s gettin’ lesbian pregnant.

    1. Opus the Poet

      I gave the definitive answer to this comment yesterday.

      1. ValdVin

        Huh. I stopped reading GGaR after a few chapters. I think I should start again.

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Becky and Dina are so cute here, and I am glad my own neuroses never included a period where i was freaking out over sleeping next to my crush/significant other.

    In other news, where the hell are Mike, Blaine and Ross?

    1. Clif

      Quick, look under the bed.

      1. David

        No, that’s just Joe.

    2. He Who Abides

      I never went through that with my fiancee either, but due to reasons I don’t understand she was living with my family since we were 12-ish.

      Freaking out over getting an apartment, on the other hand . . .

      1. Clif

        This is ya’lls life and everything, but I can think of some scenarios where it might be kind of important to understand why she was living with your family since ya’ll were 12.

        1. He Who Abides

          We’ll have to ask either my dad or her parents. She doesn’t know either, and it’s probably something she should know too.

    3. GutterChick

      When I was in 7th grade I kissed my girlfriend and touched her boobs at a movie because she wanted me to

      I went home and cried after and felt guilty after. She also once tried to dirty talk once and said “I’m your bongo” (there was some sort of set up) and I almost had a discomfort panic

      Idk why, my parents were never socially conservative in any way, and I’m a huge slut these days, maybe I just wasnt ready as a teen.

      1. GutterChick

        Lmao I didnt know the comment section censored. Bongo is the uh, other b word

        1. Sam

          That word and a couple of other things got censored due to people overusing them. Some people now even naturally type bongo in the first place instead.

        2. Agemegos

          Or refer habitually to “small hand-drums”.

        3. David

          That censor bot seems way convenient for writing Joyce’s dialogs.

        4. BBCC

          It’s only the b word.

        5. BarerMender

          The c-word is also censored.

        6. BBCC

          Okay, true.

        7. Makkabee

          Cholesterol? I didn’t realize the comment section was so health conscious!

        8. thejeff

          Though it would be kind of funny to expand it to use all of Joyce’s replacements.

        9. BBCC

          it would! April fools maybe?

      2. Wizard

        The closest my boyfriend and I ever got to a PDA was holding hands at the movies after the house lights went down. A little silly, but sweet, and I still treasure the memories.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Three Is A Magic Number” from Schoolhouse Rock on the stereo*

  12. Zellgato

    Dina is great

    1. Agemegos

      Robin sucks.

  13. Tab

    We call that “floor-play”

    Or maybe the sex was so good that they don’t remember (high five for decades old Its Walky reference)

    1. Hugo Bedward

      I wonder if their cuddling put a hole in the wall

  14. Lumino

    “The floor is properly chaste” fucking kills me.

  15. John

    Oh, there’s Dina. Where’d she come from, and where’d that weird hatless chick in the first four panels go? Did Dina eat her? (I mean, in the carnosaur sense, not the “licking her envelope” sense.)

  16. BBCC

    Wholesome content.

  17. He Who Abides

    Becky, dear, you’re still wearing your pants. So is Dina. Unless there’s some top-secret method by which two women may engage in hard-core hanky-panky while keeping their trousers on, you’re good.

    1. LeslieBean4shizzle

      Um, are you joking?
      The “slip a hand in at the waistband” trick is as old as pants. Particularly tight pants might require unbuttoning/unzipping, but removal is entirely optional.
      And that doesn’t even get into thigh-to-clit stimulation through pants.

      1. Xenocide

        There’s also the neat trick of just putting them back on afterwards, though it’s not usually high on the priorities list. It’s not impossible though!

      2. He Who Abides

        @LeslieBean4shizzle – I’m really not. Considering that I’m ace/demi with no libido and an abiding respect for other people’s privacy, is it really that surprising that I wouldn’t be interested in learning the mechanics of how couples who are not me achieve sexual release?

        1. LeslieBean4shizzle

          No, that’s not surprising at all.

          However, I would point out that you opened the door to my reply by speaking as if you did have such knowledge in your original post. To quote “Unless there’s some top-secret method by which two women may engage in hard-core hanky-panky while keeping their trousers on”
          There is such a method, and it is hardly a secret. If you’ve ever had an itch (literal, not metaphoric) and reached into your trousers to scratch your thigh or whatever equipment you might possess, then you yourself have made use of that technique.

        2. He Who Abides

          That’s . . . a fair point. Becky’s reaction made me think she feared something more intense than something that simple, though.

        3. Seregiel

          She fears its that simple. 🙂

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Google “bundling” as an early American courtship custom.

      1. ValdVin

        Wait, did the bundling board just go back to hammerspace?

    3. Delicious Taffy

      Pants are only an obstacle if you allow them to be. Their power is an illusion, built upon a foundation of lies and propaganda. Any true hero knows that there are no less than three ways to circumvent the trousers without even unzipping or unfastening them. Meditate on your hubris and think about what you have done.

    4. Fart Captor

      It’s not a “top secret” so much as a “secret top” method :V

  18. Confuzor

    Dina is aware of threesomes?!

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Dina isn’t ignorant of sex. She just hasn’t been sexual until now.

      Her roommate is Amber the Fanficster, so she may know more about sexual variety than most of her peers, albeit in a purely theoretical manner.

      1. David

        Frankly, the fan fiction of Amber we got to hear yet was butcher’s talk.

      2. davidbreslin101

        At which point I remember Amber’s goro fics and start worrying for Becky’s safety…

        1. King Daniel

          “Is that not what was meant by ‘eating’ someone?”

  19. BarerMender

    “We knocked boots! We bumped ugly! We made the beast with two backs! We interfered with each other! We got sweaty and slid all over each other!”
    “No we didn’t.”
    “Oh.”
    …
    “Well, we must’ve done something wrong.”
    “You know, I’ve had about enough of you and your weird religion.”

  20. Ellegos

    “What I’m trying to ask is, you’d tell me if you had some Cocaine around here, right? You can tell me, I’m hip!”

    1. LeslieBean4shizzle

      Ah Mindy Saint Clair.

  21. Carms

    I completely thought it was roz and was confused

  22. Lokitsu

    The floor is chaste? I thought the floor was lava.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Many purification rituals around the globe have used fire. Lava is basically the wet cement of fire. Therefore, lava is chaste, allowing the floor to exist in both states simultaneously.

  23. Bristingr

    So we’re finally seeing Dina without her hat.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      We’ve seen this before, earlier on in their relationship.

  24. Josh Spicer

    I respect Becky’s desire to have post-marital coitus only but like…alright…

  25. PB

    HA! “The floor is chaste.” Sweet, naive Becky, you have so much to learn.

  26. Bagge

    It will never not be funny when Dina tries and almost but not quite succedes in understanding Becky’s metaphores.

    For going from sleeping to awake and Becky freaking out about boots for some reason in a few seconds she does a good job contributing to the conversation.

    and, awwww, Becky. It’s understandable to freak out but it’s OK. God thinks you are rad for being a lesbian. I’m sure he would be cool with that lady-syrup thing too.

    (and if Becky decide that – no, she really does not want to have sex before the wedding, I’m betting anything that Dina would pull up a paleontology professor vested with the power of wedding people before Becky can say Ankylosaurus magniventris)

    1. Bagge

      Come to think of it… congress members can mary people, right?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Yes, they’re basically known for Mary-like behavior.

        1. Bagge

          …oh dear

        2. Clif

          And while they they *can* encourage Mary-like behaviour in others, fortunately their ability to Mary other people is limited.

      2. Clif

        In the extremely unlikely (and much less amusing) event that what you meant to ask is if members of congress can perform legal marriage ceremonies by virtue of being congress critters, the answer is that it varies by state. In most states a Justice of the Supreme Court can, but congress-folks, not so much.

        1. Clif

          I’m running off of failable memory here, but as I recall, the answer for some states is, it’s complicated. I think there is one state where a member of congress normally couldn’t, but by virtue of being able to do so in another state (California if I recall) can get a temporary permit to do it in their own state. Another would allow the congress critter to perform the marriage if either of the parties to the marriage believed they could, by virtue of a section that indicates that a consummated marriage is not invalidated by being performed by an otherwise ineligible person if either believed the person performing the ceremony was authorized. The State of Texas is the one I’m most familiar with. Texas specifically allows Rabbis, Ministers and Priest, but does not mention members of Congress. But if the congressmember says I’m now the minister of my own church I just started, Texas doesn’t register ministers and as long as the marriage license is applied for and issued, performed between 72 hours and 30 days later, and registered, Texas doesn’t care. And should the Congressperson not bother to do the minimum to qualify as a minister, and no underaged marriage or illegal marriage (such as bigamy) takes place, then the marriage is still legal as long as the person performing it had a reasonable appearance of authority and at least one of the people being married participated in the ceremony in good faith and that party treats the marriage as valid.

    2. Xenocide

      I assumed Dina was continuing the boots metaphor, meaning they set themselves/their boots next to each other and fell asleep.
      Alternatively deliberately treating the metaphor literally despite knowing what Becky originally meant in order to defuse tension, which is something I do with my friends’ metaphors sometimes but usually for my amusement (and often leading to their annoyance) rather than to defuse tension.

      1. Clif

        Booty is where you find it.

      2. Jhon

        When you trust someone enough to set your boots next to theirs…

  27. Dean

    ‘Licked each other’s envelopes’ is the filthiest euphemism I’ve ever heard.

    1. Bagge

      Well… second filthiest.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/relief/

      1. ValdVin

        Putting the free in Freestyle Machine.

    2. Agemegos

      Indeed! I’m going to have to use it at the first opportunity.

  28. Gwydion

    No, it’s the fact that Robin’s seen Dina’s naked head at the same time as Becky has that makes it a threesome

    1. Jhon

      Dina promptly dons her hat in Robin’s presence because she is chaste.

  29. saltchocolate

    Thank you for bringing “knocked boots” back, Willis! Hadn’t heard that one in a while . . .

  30. Keulen

    I’m wondering how long Willis is gonna make us wait to find out what happened to Mike, Blaine, and Ross.

    1. sdrainbow

      It was 20 days between “amber punches Ryan while Dorothy looks on in horror” to the reveal of the “police line do not cross” tag on the stairs.

      1. Mr.Morningstar

        did she punch him? I thought she took his knife and stabbed him or something i honestly dont remember

        1. King Daniel

          Last we heard he was still in the hospital’s ICU, so yeah Ryan got messed up badly.

        2. Sdrainbow

          Well, the panels showed her fist. I don’t know if the knife got involved later.

        3. thejeff

          The last strip showed the knife and blood.

        4. Needfuldoer

          She chopped him to ribbons with his own phone after disarming him. Now his family is suing Amber and her mother, so she must have done considerable damage.

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/boundaries-2/

    2. Clif

      You know, for all the people who kept wishing that Willis would cut away from the Mike and Dad’s episode for a month of Walky farting, this is ever so much nicer.

  31. Pocky

    When your (potential) congresswoman is sleeping on the floor, watching you and your girlfriend totally not do anything Jesus would disapprove of.

    1. David

      The Bible does not really have a lot of interest in lesbians. I mean, Solomon had, what, a thousand wives? What are they going to do all day long? Men with men: now there’s a deadly sin. And women with lifestock, that too. But women with women or men with lifestock? Meh.

  32. Dutch

    “The floor is properly chast” sounds like a book title

  33. Bathymetheus

    It occurs to me that Robin’s presence on the bedroom floor suggests that the sofa is occupied by someone else – probably male. Ethan, maybe?

  34. Valerie

    Hey Becky, her eyes are down there.

    1. King Daniel

      Remember Becky has a…thing…for ladies who aren’t wearing hats. Especially if that lady is Dina.

      1. TemperaryObsessor

        No its a ting for ladies who wear hats. How else are you supposed to know their scalp is special.

  35. T Campbell

    A little late, but… https://www.npr.org/2010/10/26/130809883/doonesbury-decades-a-timeline-of-turning-points (first image)

  36. Pharmadan

    This is your best comic since the jesus take the wheel one.

  37. bcb

    But maybe it’s close enough to a threesome to make Joe jealous. Or at least make Richard jealous.

  38. Alfie

    “We licked each other’s envelopes!” ????

  39. Toes14

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t this whole thing start after Becky hooked up with her roommate at Anderson? I know there were no ‘details’ about that encounter, but I thought it was implied that they did more than kiss.

    Thus, Becky has already had “premarital hanky-panky” and shouldn’t be freaking out about it.

    1. Clif

      I suspect there is some room between enough to freak Anderson out and actual hanky-panky.

      1. thejeff

        I suspect kissing is enough to freak Anderson out – at least lesbian kissing.

    2. BBCC

      They were making out and got busted, not banging.

    3. Sam

      She did not hook up with her roommate. Anderson freaked out but homophobic people will freak out at handholding or a kiss on the cheek if they suspect you of not being straight. It was implied that they are least madeout or went far enough Anderson was alarmed, but never how far it went and given Becky’s reactions, it clearly never went as far as you thought.

      Willis tends to make it explicitly clear that sex is happening or will happen or has made a slipshine for it. This is a rare instance where he tricked us as we thought they would, but instead they didn’t.

    4. Joe

      I think this is just a case of slang meaning different things in different regions. I’ve heard “hooking up” range from meaning sex, to just making out, to simply meeting somewhere. From context I think it’s the middle one here.

  40. kilgaen

    Dina finally making herself decent. Good lord, Willis.

  41. Clif

    I nominate Delicious Taffy for having selected the best avitar ever.

    1. He Who Abides

      Seconded.

  42. DarkoNeko

    Robin was bored. Or curious.

    1. Agemegos

      Two innocent teenagers went into a bedroom together with the announced intention of discarding their virginities together. Robin followed them.

      Robin is a creep.

      1. thejeff

        Did I miss them announcing that intention?

        1. BarerMender

          Becky announced she was going to give Dina her birthday cuddle. They could be forgiven for taking “cuddle” to mean “fuck.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.