184

Meet
Posted on March 29, 2013 by David M Willis

184 thoughts on “Meet”

  1. Jen Aside

    Even Danno cannot resist Ethan! Can he resist Walky’s shirt?

    1. vsophi

      Spontaneous flash of inspiration for some fan art! It involves makeouts, and also Mike.

      1. Hawkwing

        I think you forgot to mention it would involve your mom too. Honestly though, I think I can see why you’d want to keep that quiet.

    2. tahrey

      #eventheguyswanthim

  2. Milosh

    What the… how did Danny steal my secret?

  3. Wonder Wig

    Ethan basically hit puberty the same way the guy who played Nevile Longbottom did.

    1. Kernanator

      All at once, right?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Puberty hit me bloody hard, I went from 4’8″ and smooth at 12 to 5’9″ and hairy by 13.

        1. Sporky

          How many times that year did you have to buy new clothes?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I would have to ask my mother that, I didn’t exactly keep track of that sort of thing when I was a kid.

    2. Doctor_Who

      I always loved how well the HP actors grew into their roles. In Neville’s case, his actor started looking badass just as his character was actually becoming badass.

      1. Tucker

        And Hermione got hot because of reasons.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s a pity that Emma Watson looks a lot like Richard Dawkins.

        2. Tucker

          That’s not a pity at all.

        3. Chronos

          Strange. Now I find Richard Dawkins slightly more attractive, and Emma Watson slightly less so. The strange part is, I didn’t really think Emma Watson was particularly attractive in the first place.

        4. dcmeserve

          Oh god, I tried the eye-crossing trick* to overlap their faces, and the result was pretty freaky. Also confirmed that it’s a pretty good match. And that Richard Dawkins looks better than I had thought.

          * cheapest method for 3D-viewing

        5. nimoy

          brilliant!

        6. Surprise Pizza

          Somebody’s found pics of them both with their heads at similar angles and similar expressions on their faces, and blended their features together.

          So feel free to find Emma Watson hot, and Richard Dawkins not, or vice versa depending on taste and orientation!

        7. Whittier

          Good eye.

        8. Somebody

          It was photoshopped…the fact that she doesn’t really look that masculine makes it obvious enough. It also SAYS they photoshopped her to resemble him.

        9. Laurel Raven

          Even without photoshopping, they look a lot alike.

        10. Arkadi

          I think I’m starting to fancy Richard Dawkins XD

        11. Neospector

          If you happen to fancy both, you could always become a RichardxEmma shipper.

        12. FinalOwen

          Richard Dawkins’ wife is Lalla Ward, aka Romanadvoratrelundar, former Lord President of Gallifrey. They were introduced to each other by Douglas Adams. No ship can really live up to the awesomeness of the reality. 😛

        13. Laurel Raven

          Where’s the like button when you need it?

        14. TSB

          I disagree.

          Her face is much thinner than his, her jawline is much more rounded, her facial features have greater vertical spread, the top of her eyes are more curved, her eyebrows are shaped differently, her nose is more upturned…

          They’re not two people who look alike, they’re two people who don’t look drastically different and are making the same facial expression.

        15. dcmeserve

          Good enough! :)=

        16. spaceyOptimist

          That’s not sad that’s brilliant.

        17. timemonkey

          Hermione was always hot, she just never cared enough to put in the work to show it off. Her teeth were really her only physical flaw.

        18. Wonder Wig

          I’m pretty sure I would’ve been kicked out of Hogwarts quickly for severely cursing Malfoy or Pansy every time they messed with Hermione.

        19. Arkadi

          “Always hot”? You do realize she was *nine years old* in the first movie, don’t you.

        20. djaevlenselv

          I think he was referring to book!Hermione. Mind you, she was 11 years old in the first book, so your argument still stands.

        21. timemonkey

          That doesn’t mean she wassn’t attratcive, just that nobody was looking yet.

        22. begbert2

          You’re aware you’re digging yourself deeper and deeper into a very internet-characteristic hole, right? (Though I watch anime so I’m not one to talk.)

        23. Wonder Wig

          Is it creepy if you grew up at the same age as the characters while the books and movies were coming out?

        24. timemonkey

          Well, I do like holes.

        25. vsophi

          According to dictionary.com, one of the valid ways of interpreting the word attractive is “providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring”. Doesn’t mean that she was sexually appealing as a young child, just cute.

        26. Buckybone

          Not creepy when you’re the same age as she is…

  4. Kernanator

    Danny is a man after my own heart.

    I don’t know whether this is an insult to me or Danny.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Just prey he isn’t a man after your femurs.

      1. Yotomoe

        Or Knees.

      2. Kernanator

        He’s going to prey on my femurs??

      3. Pat

        Preying COULD help with that.

        1. vsophi

          And of course, you can count on Joyce to pray for them.

      4. timemonkey

        But Kernanator needs Kernanator’s heart to live!

        1. BlueRam

          Not as much as she needs a FAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!

        2. Totz the Plaid

          Um… more than, actually.

    2. Josh

      ROFL! I am in love with your new grav!

      1. Kernanator

        Me too. I’m still thankful to Heavensrun for making it.

  5. Sir Robin

    God dammit Danny!!!

  6. Shobo

    Joyce initiated gorilla stare!
    It’s not very effective.

    1. HEYOUGUYZ!

      it worked on me

  7. NerdHerder

    Oh, right, Amber. You were saying something about deceiving people?

    1. Yotomoe

      Hey Pot, I’m Kettle.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        All we need now is Cauldron and the set is complete.

        1. vsophi

          What about Skillet?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          My bad, I shouldn’t have forgotten Skillet and also Hot Plate.

        3. vsophi

          And Wok. Gotta fill the Asian quota.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Unless there is a black kitchen left unmentioned, I believe that the list is complete.

        5. Bill M.

          There’s the Dutch oven…

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Are Dutch Ovens usually black?

    2. gangler

      Everybody has some special reason why their lies don’t count.

      1. Uncle Rylon

        This may be the most insightful thing ever said in a DOA comment. Good job.

      2. thomas0comer

        But my reason really is special! Honest! I’m different from everybody else!

        1. Notebooked

          People who hold double standards are annoying, but it’s okay when it’s me.

        2. gangler

          Doctor Gregory Syndrome: When everybody’s a liar, nobody is.

      3. GShyft

        And gangler reads the Dresden Files…

    3. tyren22

      What are you referring to?

      1. vsophi

        Good point. Amber’s as honest as can be!

        Dina, on the other hand…

    4. Totz the Plaid

      Remember, though, Danny also said he’d rather find out Amazi-Girl’s identity in an accidental way. Amber has a LOT more wiggle-room with the truth ethically since Danny flat-out said that he doesn’t want to be told outright.

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    Ethan sure dodged that bullet… for now.

    1. Fred

      In Rioplatense Spanish there’s an euphemism about Ethan’s orientation that includes a bullet and not dodging it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        YAY for unintentional Bilingual Bonus. 🙂

      2. Arkadi

        And what would that be? Just curious.

  9. Count Dracula

    Um wasn’t Ethan supposed to own up today? Isn’t that what was going to happen? That is not what I see here.

    1. Layman

      “Today” as in real life time? Or today as in webcomic time? Because that may take until mid April.

    2. LiC

      I think he’s gonna wanna wait to do it without an audience. This is going to hurt Joyce enough on it own. Its better not to do it in front of the group where Joyce might be hurt and publicly embarrassed.

      1. timemonkey

        He may want to do it somewhere he can escape from quickly. Depending on how Joyce takes this he may need to escape a few of her friends (sure, Dorothy and Billie aren’t likely to hurt him but Sarah has a bat and she’s demonstrated a willingness to use it).

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          According to the Bible, The Old Testament God was known for striking down homosexuals with extreme prejudice…

        2. timemonkey

          On the plus side we may finally get to see who’d win in a fight: Old Testament God or Amazi-Girl.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Only if criticisms are a brand of baseball bat.

        4. Heavensrun

          I say this as an atheist, but going impartially between two fictional characters, I gotta give that one to Yahweh.

        5. Arkadi

          Whole cities at a time, if I remember right.

        6. Li

          http://hoperemains.m.webs.com/

          No, not really. More like “according to the poorly-translated English version of the Bible”. In the original text, God is big on smiting temple prostitutes (not to be confused with regular ones!), and probably against trying to fight your natural sexual orientation (the way Rome did, by expecting EVERYONE to be bisexual, and the way we do today by expecting everyone to be heterosexual).

          But don’t take my poor summary for it; read the whole site. Sodom and Gamorrea is especially interesting to me.

        7. Steve

          I don’t know about that. As I recall, Sarah gave her snarky blessing to the relationship early on. (“Congratulations on finding a sexless relationship.”)

        8. timemonkey

          Yeah, but Joyce wasn’t broken hearted and crying at the time. That can change someone’s reaction to a scenario pretty fast.

        9. Greenygal

          Yeah, when Sarah said that all Joyce had done was bring him back to the room to watch cartoons. She probably didn’t realize how intense Joyce was going to get about him, and that actual heartbreak was in the cards.

  10. Yue Ryong

    ‘I like your hair’? How… interestingly lampshaded.

    Also, thank you. Now I can’t unship Ethan/Danny.

    1. Yotomoe

      We cannot cancel shipping, it has already begun.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If we are not careful, one will be introducing his port into the other’s starboard. 😀

        1. Pat

          I don’t think that’s how it works.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          You’re right, I should have said introducing his bow into the other’s stern, my bad. 😀

        3. tyren22

          Must… resist… “poop deck” joke…

        4. timemonkey

          Poop deck? This is a perfect opportunity to amke a sea men joke!

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t forget about the ‘docking’. 😀

        6. tyren22

          Since when is poop MORE classy than semen? :O

        7. timemonkey

          What’s more likely to be involved between the two? XD

        8. Chronos

          Prepare the boarding parties!

        9. dcmeserve

          Oh, all right:

          Don’t forget to have the seamen swab the poopdeck!

        10. tyren22

          Oh snap, a double play!

  11. Yotomoe

    Danny’s actually insecure about the fact that Ethan has eye whites and he doesn’t. Is that something girls look for in a man?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Whites of the eyes are over-rated, Mike has being doing plenty of mums without them.

      1. Pyr05

        Beady eyes are damn sexy.

    2. Totz the Plaid

      You know, that kinda explains why Danny’s too blind to notice Amber and Amazi-Girl are one in the same: his pupils can never dilate to adjust to differing light, so he’s half-blind most of the time.

      1. thomas0comer

        They still dilate, but he doesn’t have scleras to reflect back excess light and the other useful things they do, so he’s still half-blind.

        1. Jim

          Sort of like how Barney is too blind to see that Fred is actually a pretty crappy friend?

    3. Kernanator

      He traded them for superior piloting skills.

  12. HotRider

    From the look on Joyce face I am predicting when they leave Ethan is going to decide to continue the charade, maybe out of a desire not to hurt this nice new friend he has made. Ethan annoys me at times but I perceive him as a gentle guy, no way he confesses to Joyce.This will force Mike do perform some amazing feat of dickery to rectify the situation.

    1. Yotomoe

      Mike will kick everyone in the nuts (he actually has plastic surgeons on standby to make sure all people within range have nuts at the time of impact) and will tell everyone Ethan’s gay. Then off to the playground to punt children.

      1. HotRider

        My hope he does it in a way that also cuts through everyone else’s bullshit (Dorothy, Walky, Ethan,Joyce, Amber, Billie, and on and on) in a massive Hannibal speech. OR as a call back to Shortpacked Ethan and Joyce get a bit touchy feely at a party, the next morning they are found by the rest of the cast, naked, in bed…..with Mike….(and their moms)

    2. BranTheQuixotic

      I think you might be right, now that Amber isn’t there to burn a hole in the back of his head with her ferocious stare.

      1. timemonkey

        Amber’s stare shall burn through buildings, Ethan will constantly feel the burn until he breaks it off.

    3. tyren22

      I hope not. I think it’d be easier to rationalize spilling the beans in the context of “Joyce is mad ’cause she thinks Amber was hitting on me or something just now, I might as well tell her why Amber really yanked me out of the restaurant.”

    4. dcmeserve

      No, man. Joyce is gonna start laying into him about “what’s going on with this ex-girlfriend?!” and stuff, and he’ll be forced to bring out his orientation as his defense.

      1. tyren22

        I could easily imagine him backing down even then but like I said above, I hope he doesn’t.

        1. HotRider

          I second this, I really want him to show some principles. He is obsessed with a kind of safe little bubble. He wants to obsess over his toys and have his friends and have everything in order. Like he said to to Amber, he wants to be in control. I think everyone wants that. Admitting the truth to Joyce is the right thing to do, its going to be an uncomfortable experience to a degree and he does not know exactly how she will react. But it is the right thing to do, Sadly we tend to do things that seem safer at the moment rather then things that may be tough but is the best choice in the long run, we’ve seen that with characters in the strip so far.

        2. dcmeserve

          +1 Insightful. 🙂

  13. Uniqueantique

    And we still don’t see the unveiling? But we do see a very perturbed Joyce: Ethan hitting on Danny: Danny still clueless to everything. Amber trying to do the socially correct thing?

  14. TPmanW

    Danny’s just a really smooth dude huh?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Smooth as cheap toilet paper.

      1. Kernanator

        Smooth as a porcupine’s butt.

        1. Yotomoe

          Smooth as a brier patch.

        2. Chronos

          Smooth as sandpaper.

        3. dcmeserve

          Smooth as a field of rocks to a skydiver.

        4. Sailor_Arashi

          Smooth as some thing that isn’t smooth.

        5. Zababcd

          Smooth as the absolute value function in the region of x = 0.

        6. Notebooked

          Smooth as a cat’s tongue. Garnished with gravel.

  15. BranTheQuixotic

    He still isn’t out to her! Aaah! And now we have yet another weekend for the tension to continue to build!

    I can express my feelings about this only in this way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnPlHvXIJPs

  16. Davriel

    Joyce is…unappreciative of that little break Amber & Ethan took.

    1. NCP19

      Your current gravatar makes that statement all the better.

    2. timemonkey

      Boys are like pillows to Joyce, she does not share.

  17. name

    The realistic characters and real world tone of this comic added with Danny not being able to see that Amber is Amazi-girl makes me have this irrational hatered of Danny that I doubt I’ll ever get over. I seriously want nothing more then to see his life in ruin.

    1. f.p.

      He already has to be Danny. Isn’t that punishment enough?

      1. Wack'd

        “I’m Danny Wilcox and I have to live with that every daaaay.”

        1. timemonkey

          I read that in Hagan’s voice, awesome. XD

    2. Kernanator

      I would like to believe that Danny actually knows already, but is playing along because it’s expected of him as part of the superhero genre.

      Sadly, I know this is probably not the case.

      1. TheStranger

        I feel like he’s figured it out by this point. He’s being…sardonic or ironic or some damn thing here. Why would he feel compelled to mention his insecurity compared to Amber’s ex otherwise? By framing it as ‘dating Amazi-Girl’, he’s able to put the insecurity out there without dumping it ‘directly’ on Amber.

        If that makes sense.

        1. Kernanator

          Having someone else support my crazy theory feels really validating.

  18. James

    Now that is a death glare

    1. Kernanator

      I am oh so tempted to make that my gravatar. Should I? Or should I just keep it as the Condom Cap?

      1. Yotomoe

        But you’re good ol’ “Condom Cap Kernanator! If you change I won’t recognize you!

      2. Kernanator

        For reference, I am referring to Joyce’s face in the third panel.

        1. Heavensrun

          http://imgur.com/VbOXDim I’ll just leave this here.

        2. DEG1377

          Oh god I laughed so hard it hurts!

        3. Charles RB

          GLORY!!

        4. Zababcd

          That’s superb.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Now that’s what I call an edit! 😀

        6. Kernanator

          😀 THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!

          I’m making it my Gravatar right now.

        7. Regalli

          It is a thing of beauty.

        8. Jim

          I also applaud all involved in the creation of this. I believe my traceroute goes something like this:
          Dave Willis => Kernanator => Dave Willis => Kernanator => Heavensrun => Kernanator => Mike’s penis => nickel => Your Mom => Dave Willis

        9. John

          I approve this solution to the dilemma!

  19. Notebooked

    Drama…postponed! Huh.
    Amber seems to be catching Joyce’s death glare. Maybe she knows the reason Joyce is upset, and if Ethan decides not to tell her — again — and Joyce confronts Amber about “hitting” on her boyfriend, it’ll be up to Amber to tell the truth. With Joyce being shocked she would spread such horrible lies just to try to get Joyce to dump him.

    1. vsophi

      Oh, that would be an interesting turn of events.

  20. Jimmy

    Come on Joyce, turn that frown upside down!

    1. Robbie C

      Done.

      1. DEG1377

        This expression terrifies me. What is she plotting….?

      2. Gordon Blvd

        BONUS POINTS FOR Robbie C!!!!!! well done, sir! Yon win an internets 🙂

      3. Jimmy

        Excellent!

      4. thomas0comer

        PLANS

  21. Intie

    Good god Danny makes me cringe so hard.

    1. Jon Cann

      I mean, I guess saying “I’m glad I’m not dating you” to somebody YOU SHOT DOWN probably just comes from being awkward about said shooting down, but still, yikes, Danny. Way to completely miss the other person’s perspective.

      1. Notebooked

        Plus, there’s the stealth-confession: “Even if I was dating you, I’m so bland/you’re so fickle that you’d go for a better dude any day.”

    2. Sock

      He makes Amber hard, too.

  22. Bill M.

    Panel 1 Joyce: Stare Hard
    Panel 2 Joyce: (offscreen) Stare Hard 2: Stare Harder
    Panel 3 Joyce: Stare Hard with a Vengeance
    Panel 4 Joyce: (offscreen) Live Free or Stare Hard

    1. null

      Joyce is hoping that “staring daggers” isn’t just an idiom

    2. Nightmarewarden

      She stared so hard it made Dina vanish from existence, never to be seen again.

    3. thomas0comer

      Stare Hard 5: The Empire Strikes back

      1. Notebooked

        Stare Hard 6: This Time It’s Personal
        Stare Hard 7: Disa-stare
        Stare Hard 8 (with the eight turned on its side, like an infinity sign): The Dare to Stare

        1. JBO

          Stare Hard 9: Electric Boogaloo

      2. xKiv

        IRTA “The Empire Stares Back” …

  23. Kernanator

    Also: “Ethan left his awkward teenage years like a boss.” Straight into his awkward adult years.

    1. Notebooked

      I read you were changing your avatar and felt a twinge in my heart as an era passed.

      But that…that is golden.

      1. Kernanator

        It’s great, because you can interpret it as Joyce being displeased she is being forced to wear it.

        1. Notebooked

          “Safe sex! Only do it after marriage, so you can trust–ow!”
          “Follow the script.”

  24. JA

    Joyce looks like an angry chimp for some reason.

  25. Peking

    Old testament pretty clear. Any male who lies with a male as with a woman shall be put to death.

    New testament pretty clear. Merely coming out, being openly homosexual even if you never act on it means excommunication and eternal damnation. You are required to never act on it, and required to stay in the closet. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t have gay sex.

    This is in fact easier than it sounds. A survey of close kin of those who died of aids found no homosexuals. Presumably they had all been scared straight.

    1. JA

      And yet nothing is said about lesbians. Granted, there’s like…ONE passage that may or may not reference it, but it’s very vague.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Only Romans 1:26 in the New Testament comes close to mentioning lesbians and even that is not conclusive.

        Romans 1:26 “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.”

        The verse is so vague that it could be just as likely to be refering to beastiality as lesbianism.

    2. DragonStryk72

      Actually, the Old Testament sections that were against homosexuality were ruled null and void by the first Pope. Interestingly, All of Leviticus was tossed out, hence the line “since the time of St. John the Baptist, we are no longer under the Law, but under Grace.” Leviticus was the book of law for the Hebrews. This is why people also won’t be put to death for having tattoos (Yup, it’s in Leviticus)

      1. David

        In the authentic writings of Paul, he indicates that Peter had trouble rejecting the Law in favor of grace. Discarding the Law was Paul’s thing, and we don’t know if Peter ever came around on that argument. It was a large point of disagreement in the early years of the Church — we know Paul’s side eventually won, but we’ll probably never know if Peter eventually agreed with him.

        (By Peter I mean the real actual Peter, not the two guys who wrote the New Testament letters each pretending to be Peter.)

  26. Peking

    Correction: You will be happy to hear that lesbian sex is no problem, though really you should keep it with the family, as in having sex with your husband’s concubines.

  27. Azrael

    Joyce’s face in Panel 3: 😆

    1. Kernanator

      I know, it’s the best.

  28. Stephen

    Archives time! Now that the Luigi Death Stare is a thing, I think that a picture of Joyce driving in Mario Kart giving her Death Stare is in order.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.