422

Business
Posted on February 3, 2012 by David M Willis

422 thoughts on “Business”

  1. OhHayMike

    Atta girl Bille. That’s what you’re in college for.

    1. a99steaksauce

      I thought it was beer?

      1. David Herbert

        Playing to her views of herself also help.

        Hopefully Joe will take a hint and leave so Danny can get his game on.

        1. Gordon Blvd

          if Joe is ANY sorta wingman whatsoever, he’s already disappeared in a magical puff of smoke lol

        2. Rowen Morland

          Joe is such a good wingman he already knew not to be there. He vanished in a puff of smoke several hours ago. Danny was like WTF?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Beer leads to angst. Angst leads to hatesex. Hatesex leads to awesome fanservice.

        1. mechaqua

          Your drinking the wrong beer
          “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
          Benjamin Franklin

        2. Aizat

          I don’t drink beer to be happy. I have coffee.

        3. mechaqua

          Then what do you drink when your sad?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          CAKE!

        5. mechaqua

          Can you drink cake? If yes then how is this done? Because sounds delicious.

        6. Vincent

          Ah yes, it WILL blend.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Chiri shows you how

          Watch after 1:20 to see how to drink cake.

        8. Zuche

          Barley bubble tea tastes like drinking cake.

        9. jason

          yes, yes you can drink cake, and it comes in vodka form…
          http://www.uvvodka.com/page/show/333797-uv-cake

        10. tahrey

          What the hell is bubble tea?
          *googles*
          Tea, mixed with fruit smoothie, mixed with slushie, with balls of tapioca in the bottom?!
          …not…sure…if…want… o_O

        11. Zuche

          Taiwanese cuisine would never steer you wrong, Tahrey. 😉

          I prefer mine without the tapioca balls, but they’re okay.

        12. Quantum Polagnus

          Bubble Tea is awesome!! The tapioca “bubbles”
          are so good, btw. The ones I get at the local
          Bubble Tea place taste kinda like honey and add a
          nice bit of chewy fun to the drink. It’s kinda like
          how some people chew the ice in their fountain
          drink.

        13. LilithxChan

          You can even drink Marshmellows

        14. fellixe

          Drano

        15. mechaqua

          Bleach “its mostly water and were mostly water therefore we are bleach”

        16. molochmachine

          Tastes just like chickens, if chickens was a candys

        17. Aizat

          Oh, iced tea, coffee, iced teh tarik and plain water.

        18. PedanticJerkass

          That’s twice now you’ve used “your” instead of “you’re.” I’m sorry, but it’s like fingernails on chalkboard to me.

        19. Crimson Magic

          What’s you’re problem?

        20. HotelDon

          I think it is you who is putting you”re fingernails on preverbial chalk-board.

        21. Charlie Spencer

          GWS flashback.

        22. invisiblemoose

          Ah yes, and the inevitable ‘Haha you said you don’t like you’re/your conflation, therefore I’m going to respond by conflating you’re and your to push your buttons’.

          Such wit.

        23. HotelDon

          You missed the part where I used a ” instead of a ‘, misspelled proverbial, and put a hyphen in the word chalkboard.

        24. Tualha

          Yes, clearly someone has lead mechaqua astray on the subject of grammar. He needs to pour over the grammar textbooks. Speaking of common errors that bug me.

        25. mechaqua

          Forgive me as I have sinned against the grammar goddesses. For that I beg for forgiveness. I have befouled PedanticJerkass’s ears with the sound of nails on a chalkboard. I am truly a monster, nay an archfiend. I have become an unwilling servant to Beelzebub and his campaign to destroy the structure of English language. Curses to me and my offspring for my sins are to great count! I have besmirched this comment section with my foul grammatical errors. I shall atone for my sins by mortifying my skin.

        26. fellixe

          Eww, I wouldn’t. I hear mortifying is bad for you.

        27. Heavensrun

          I no, write?

        28. Phillip Wilde

          Q.E.D.

        29. Roborat

          Alternate version: Beer leads to angst. Angst leads to hatesex. Hatesex leads to beer.

        30. Arkadi

          The Force is strong in you, as always.

      3. Christopher S

        me too. That’s why I’m in college.

    2. Kernanator

      Yes. College is where you do all the crazy shit you can before they start putting your name in the newspaper

      1. Historyman68

        I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the headline “Cheerleader Kisses Nerd” before.

  2. Uniqueantique

    Yeah, that worked.

    1. Thor

      But – but – but we’ve already seen Danny and Billie together before!

      I’ll accept this only because it allows for the possibility of Joe x Joyce.

      (“Joece”?) (“Joy”?) (“JoJo”?) (Are shipping portmanteaux out of fashion now?)

      1. fellixe

        When two parts of a ship have names with similar elements you are obligated to recognize this and elevate it to the level of insufferably cute. So Joe/Joyce becomes JoJo. Or Billie/Beef would be BB.

      2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

        *Siiiiiiigggh* Here comes DJ….

        “Good Ol’ Deej”…..

        His Dad will delude himself in believing neighbors will think him a “Good Egg.”
        *Siiiiiigggghh*

      3. Historyman68

        And even though we’ve seen it before, it’s still unexpected! At least to me, I did not see it coming one bit.

    2. Blob Marley

      The worst part is, he was totally playing “weak and effeminate.” It shouldn’t have worked. But poor Billie has been taking hits to her ego for a whole week, and she’s willing to throw herself at, apparently, any desperate nerd who says nice words at her faaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

      1. Aegon01

        ^This.

        Billie’s gonna have a fit when she discovers she had intimate carnal relations with a NEERRRRD.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Or she’s going to discover, to her delight, that nerds are generous and attentive lovers.

        2. Historyman68

          Some nerds.

        3. Rex Hondo

          Granted, but I’d wager she’d be better off with Danny than with the types of guys she usually attracts.

        4. Blob Marley

          That’s because all jocks think about is sports and all nerds think about is sex. It is known.

      2. ShadowMaskPrime

        I don’t think that’s quite it. Look at Billie’s face, this is actually another hit to her ego that’s making her re-evaluate her position and her reaction to others. She feels guilty about her initial reaction to the poor guy, especially with what she has been learning this past week. When Danny apologises, it makes her realise that he’s really a pretty decent guy, and that it isn’t him who should be apologising for what was actually a clever and witty light firt. Of course she’s still socially awkward when dealing with people of Danny’s ‘level’, so apologises in the only way she can think of.

        1. Rikushadow5

          Billie learned things this week?

          Y’know, other than that Sal is Amazigirl/Batman

        2. Historyman68

          Eh, I really think it’s mainly that he’s the only guy who’s recognized anything at all of her previous high school identity. She’s also learned a bit of empathy, and she realizes he seems like a nice guy, but I think it’s mainly the cheerleader thing.

      3. davidbreslin101

        or, indeed, to her femurs. (Where did this minimeme come from, anyway?)

        1. Jason

          Search for Ruth’s first few appearances in the comic.

  3. Jen Aside

    Welp.

    1. Fauxlosopher

      Wow. That’s my dull surprise word. I’m surprised it’s not used more often, actually.

      In regards to the comic:

      Welp.

      1. Rikushadow5

        Welp.

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          You insolent Whelps!

        2. Blob Marley

          Krushim was feared into da whelps…

        3. CWR

          Yuuup!

  4. Darth Shadow

    Talk about mixing business with pleasure.

    1. Nexev

      Joe’s business IS your pleasure.

      That said I think this is to forward for this to end well. Not saying I hope it doesn’t, just saying I think this won’t end well.

      But hey, both of them are desperate.

  5. Wonder Wig

    Hmm flattery does get you everywhere.

    1. Gundi

      Well, Billie is at an all time low as far as self-esteem is concerned. Of course she is going to be moved when someone actually compliments her for once. Still, that was probably not the best idea. I think *someone* is going to be hurt.

      1. Vincent

        And if that last line didn’t put a filthy joke in your head, you might need to hang around Joe more.

      2. Fauxlosopher

        I heard it hurts the first time. It’s only natural.

  6. Moonshine McGee

    This is, of course, exactly the outcome he predicted.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Just as planned?

      OH MY!

      1. a99steaksauce

        DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!

    2. Kernanator

      Danny Wilcox, Master Manipulator.

      I can dig it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        By the will of his cox.

        1. Roninwolf

          Wait, plural? He has more than one? Truley frightening imagery

      2. Wack'd

        But if he was really a master of manipulation, you wouldn’t know he was being manipulative, now would you?

        1. Marika Oniki

          Unless his plan is to allow just enough people realize it to make them seem crazy for suggesting it. What better way to hide the truth than making it seem too utterly ridiculous to be true?

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          Ah, the Purloined Letter tactic.

    3. Canvas Hat

      I love it when a plan come together…

  7. Daeva

    Somewhere, Joe is giving a thumbs up and high-fiving random people, and has NO IDEA WHY.

    1. Henry

      It’s his instinctive abilities as a wingman.

      1. Kaj

        Wingstinct, if you will.

        1. fishsicles

          Wingsensitivity.

        2. NF

          I AM SUCH AN AWESOME WINGMAN THAT IF THERE WERE TWO OF ME AND YOU PUT ME ON EACH ARM YOU WOULD FLY

      2. Aizat

        He could be my wingman anytime.

        1. Rikushadow5

          No, Aizat, you can be HIS.

          …
          …

          …no homo, right?

          *shot for the joke*

        2. Aizat

          No homo.

        3. vsophi

          ALL THE HOMO

          …orz

    2. johannhowitzer

      You just made my night.

    3. Chibi Squirt

      This! *tiny little squees*

  8. DiDi

    It was him recognizing that she used to be a cheerleader that did it.

    1. Null Set

      In particular, he was the first person she has met at college that thought her being a cheerleader was impressive and important, so much that it would put her out of his league.

    2. Cholma

      Ding! We have a winnah! 😀

    3. begbert2

      Better still, he put it in the present tense. He’s the only person so far that acknowledges her has having the identity she thinks she does.

  9. SUTBEric

    For right now Danny wins.

    1. johannhowitzer

      This will either last two days until they both realize how toxic this relationship would be, or it will last at least two decades, but after the first seven months it will permanently turn abusive in some way, probably with codependency thrown in for extra fun.

      1. Kalan

        Yeah, but for us that means they’ll keep it hot and heavy until summer at least. Welp!

      2. Sporkaganza

        The second one isn’t likely to happen. Willis has done that already!

        DO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO

    2. Khrene Cleaver

      Even though this will not be a “flawless victory,” I hope Danny gets to “Finish her!”

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Willis, you’re one heck of a ship-tease!

    1. Aizat

      Ship tease? Ship tease is when you flirt with a person. This is a maiden voyage.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So we wait for the iceburg to show up then, no worries.

        1. mechaqua

          Iceberg in the form of Joe or in the form of Dorothy?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I’m hoping for a red-hot iceburg by the name of Ruth.

        3. mechaqua

          Yeah that seems plausible i wonder if the Jaws music will play in the background as she approaches to cock-block Billie

          Though cock-block isn’t the proper term. what is it called when a women prevents another women from obtaining the sex?

        4. Aizat

          Pussyblock?

        5. Oz

          Boxblock.

        6. silv3r

          “twat swatting”

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          poon tanked?

        8. fellixe

          Vagitated?

        9. Kalan

          Sweet revenge.

        10. Rikushadow5

          This entire commentchain is full of win.

        11. Ancestral Hamster

          *Cue Celine Dion singing “My Heart will Go On”*

  11. SUTBEric

    Wait…is this the first kiss of the Dumbiverse?

    1. Suzi Roo

      Yes??

    2. SuziRoo

      I mean YES!!!

      1. Zuche

        No! The correct expression is, “ORDER UP!!!”

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          RE: The Galasso Gravatars sequence:

          “Welcome to Galasso Brothers Pizza. You WILL order the Galasso Supre Supreme Pizza!”

          “Itsa me, Galasso!”

  12. Henry

    And all the BilliexWalky and DannyxAmber shippers scream in dismay.

    1. Platypus

      Its like millions of shippers suddenly cried out, and were silenced.

      1. a99steaksauce

        And spiral into a drunken stupor.

        1. Kernanator

          “Wu…We ‘ere thizz cloze to geddin’ a reze… a rezzlotion. Then tha’ hussy hadda c’m an ruin’ everthhin’.”

      2. Nakama

        I was not silenced. I am still crying out. Waking my girlfriend up, and all my neighbourhood as well. They are all crying out too, now. We can’t seem to stop.

        1. johannhowitzer

          So it’s a shouting match you want, eh?

        2. Rex Hondo

          AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        3. Roninwolf

          This was the entire reason you got that gravatar, wasn’t it? The off chance this would happen.

        4. Rex Hondo

          You’d think so, but it’s actually just a wonderful bit of serendipity.

        5. Zuche

          You’re mad as hell and you’re not going to take it any more?

        6. Shippy McShipper

          We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight!

        7. fellixe

          We’re not gonna take it! NO! We ain’t gonna take it! We’re not going to take it anymore!

    2. Crimson Magic

      Haha, we have time yet 😉

    3. Eri

      What? Are you kidding? Do you really think this seals them as endgame? If nothing else BilliexDanny shippers should be even MORE worried!

      1. Seerow

        Agreed. We already saw BilliexDanny as an endgame once, and Willis said he intends to follow different stories here. I expect we’ll see a quick fling with these two (which will last literally years of real life time regardless), before a messy breakup and some other alt pairings.

      2. Fraser

        *facepalm* oh Alderaan Lest we all forget…

        1. Zuche

          …Forget what?

        2. Aizat

          The millions that died on Alderaan.

        3. Kernanator

          NEVAH FORGET.

        4. aion6202

          *sob* I miss that planet so much…

        5. SUTBEric

          What kind of planet doesn’t have a laser defense system? Alderaan was asking for it.

        6. BriGuy

          Too soon, dude. Too soon. :\

        7. Zuche

          Oh. Sorry, in the last edition I saw, it turned out that Tarkin first brought everyone on Alderaan aboard the Death Star, sitting in cell blocks 5-1999. He even arranged for them to be relocated to Dantooine after they eliminated the rebel base, so it all turned out well in the end.

          … Oh.

        8. Rex Hondo

          Let me guess. The version of Star Wars approved by the Texas board of education?

        9. Historyman68

          Did Alderaan really have any identity of its own, besides to be fridged for angst?
          … I’ve been reading too many comics blogs, haven’t I?

        10. DSL

          The one thing an Imperial hit on the first try.

        11. Rex Hondo

          Ba dum, tssh!

        12. retconwhatretcon?

          Meh. Alderaan shot first, you know.

        13. CWR

          But Tarkin had the money shot – you can see his posture stiffen just slightly as the planet explodes.

  13. addude

    I called it! Now begins the torrent love affair. And yes I meant to say Torrent joke on the computer pun.

    1. Aizat

      Again, you just make downloading sexy.

    2. Vincent

      How many bits are involved here? 8?

      1. begbert2

        c=8, actually.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Or worse, 8======D

  14. Mkvenner

    No, bad Willis no.

    1. Mkvenner

      He’s beat joe in the number of girls he’s been with.

      1. Aizat

        He’s a chick magnet and he didn’t know it.

        1. alex

          why ELLS would joe hang out with him?
          (other than his feet being handy hanging places for webcams)

        2. Mkvenner

          Is that why the webcam was stuck to his earlier?

  15. Dahlia

    Awwwww! Too Cute!

    1. Roninwolf

      Your avatar says otherwise

      1. Zuche

        Beneath that avatar lies more than an expression. Beneath that avatar lies a person, Roninwolf, and people can express more views.

      2. Dahlia

        OMG! DX Sal does look jealous when you think of it that way o:

        1. fellixe

          Interesting. I was wondering if maybe part of Billie’s motivation was that now she’ll have a boyfriend… and Sal will not.

    2. Mkvenner

      Don’t encourge them.

  16. Jabberwocky

    Talk about your mixed signals…

    1. Zuche

      Head for second! Head for sec–stay on first!

    2. Mkvenner

      Its probably alcohol related.

  17. Ridureyu

    So, who’s gonna walk in on them?

    1. Aizat

      Joe or Dorothy. Place your bets, folks.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I bet on Ruth myself, just because I’m evil.

        1. Ridureyu

          And then Ruth punches out Billie, takes her place?

        2. Aizat

          Catfight and then threesome? Oh my!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I will go to my room now…

        4. Ridureyu

          Somehow Joe will have to fit into all of this.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          YES, cos Joe’s penis can fit into anything. 😀

        6. Zuche

          Even the back of a Volkswagen?

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          @Zuche: Dare I say YES?

        8. Zuche

          It is less unpleasant and wince-making than the first suggestion that came to mind.

        9. Tucker

          I’ll be in my bunk.

        10. Mkvenner

          Then Ruth joins in.

    2. a99steaksauce

      Joyce will have come back for something and gets mysteriously disoriented so she’s on the wrong floor and room.

      1. Ridureyu

        PRE-MARITAL HANKY-PANKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    3. Rex Hondo

      Amber would be the most potentially awkward at this point, so that’s where I’m leaning.

    4. nekobawt

      amber. she wants to socialize with people not ethan or mike, remember?

      knocks at his door to see if he wants to hang out or something, finds the door slightly ajar and opening upon the force of her knock. and there she finds either the afternoon delight (for any given value of delight), or whatever counts as afterglow in the context of these two.

      or perhaps danny answers the door without his shirt on and she notices miss billie all a’rumpled. orrrr the knock comes mid-makeout, billie comes to her senses and runs off for some reason, saying something about the amazi-girl interview coming later (if you know what i mean)(yeah i don’t either), and amber misinterprets billie as having been talking to her, and awkward stilted conversation ensues.

      but i’m betting it’s amber, in the dorm hall, with the coitus interruptus.

      1. Cybersnark

        Remember how torn up Joe was at being called a bad wingman?

        He’s probably trying to fix things, so he just went and pulled Amber out of her room in order to hook her up with Danny.

        In a few moments, Joe is going to open the door to show Amber. . . this.

        (Thus further torpedoing Danny/Amber and proving that he is indeed the Worst Wingman Ever.)

        1. Rex Hondo

          Torpedo, hell. Imagine the carnage when two ships collide!

        2. Historyman68

          I am fully in favor of an ongoing subplot of Joe discovering he is horrible at everything he thinks he’s good at.

          Until he discovers cheerleading.

        3. Rex Hondo

          Well, not necessarily everything. There is video evidence of how good he is at Joeing.

    5. BriGuy

      C-3PO. He’s isolated the reverse power flux coupling.

  18. Aizat

    As Bobby Heenan once said “Yes, yes, yes! He did it!”. Though I am a bit envious of him.

  19. Plasma Mongoose

    Well… that’s one way to do a probing interview I guess. 😀

    1. Kernanator

      Are we sure Billie was never abducted by aliens? Because it looks like this time, she’s gonna get…

      Probed.

      1. Aizat

        YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

    2. Roborat

      Well, something is going to get probed, anyway.

  20. Doctor_Who

    Wow. I’m totally getting a Tandy 1000, and telling every woman I meet that I have it.

    The outcome clearly has a delayed reaction, but I can’t argue with results like these.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Just make sure she has a drinking problem, low self-esteem and don’t forget to say that she is way out of your league.

      1. Kernanator

        Now where the hell am I supposed to find a girl like that?

        Oh right, I live in California! 😀

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          See, there’s hope for you yet.

        2. Rikushadow5

          Plasma, why do you manage to make everything hysterical?

        3. Kernanator

          Because he’s Plasma Mongoose. Who the hell do you think he is?!

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Cos I am a connoisseur of the old school style of humour.

        5. Roborat

          Tell a girl in California that you have a Tandy 1000, and she will probably think you are talking about a vibrator.

        6. Kernanator

          Yeah, but that probably applies everywhere else too.

        7. Doctor_Who

          If the goal is to turn her on, that might do the trick.

  21. Izzy

    It’s business it’s business tIme. I know what you’re trying to say. You’re trying to say its time for business, it’s business time

    1. Aizat

      Yo dawg, I heard you like business, so I put in the business in the business so you can do business while you business,

      1. mechaqua

        Business is business unless it is business or business and business is not quite business but really is business or is it business that is business which is business

        1. Vabolo

          Because I have my business socks on.

        2. fellixe

          Business
          Busy ness
          Getting busy
          Getting down to business

        3. Michelle J Caboose

          So “business” is the new “Marklar?”

        4. chromium200

          I deny your marklar in the name of Smurf

        5. Zuche

          I wonder how Harpo Marx would respond to that?

        6. Historyman68

          Nonverbally.

  22. Aizat

    Err…yes, “business”.

    1. Mkoll

      Yes you could say that they’re gonna get down to “business”…Ah ha ha…Dammit, that hurt to say.

  23. mechaqua

    Either college has broken Billie or Danny awkwardness is just that damn attractive.

    1. MontyPla

      His awkwardness has already won her over completely once before, so who knows.

      1. mechaqua

        I think that it may have contributed but I think Billie being tormented by Ruth for over two weeks ; realizing that her social standing means nothing; that she is perusing she didn’t want; paid 40 bucks for tape recorder; Joyce waking her in a well lets say unorthodox (Joyce to innocent to be creepy) manner in the morning; oh added on she seems to have missed several classes due to lack of sleep perusing Sal with little avail only to realize the problem could have been solved easily. i think the stress may have had a little motivated her to seek some sort of release and Danny recognizing her as a cheerleader may have brought her back to a happier time.

        1. MontyPla

          I was referring to Roomies/It’s Walky.

        2. mechaqua

          Have not read them yet, but its on my list.

        3. Sam

          A very astute observation, and probably close to home.

        4. mechaqua

          slight edit lines 3-4: that she is perusing a story she did not want.

        5. mechaqua

          and line 6: (Joyce is to innocent to be creepy)
          line 10-11: I think the stress may have had a little part in motivating to he seek some sort of release.

  24. tumbleweed

    as much as I love DannyxBillie, I can’t help just thinking this is sad. Like its just shows how lonely she’s been

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      She does look like she’s about to cry. I guess the more he talks the harder it is for her to hold back the tears. It totally makes sense she’d try changing gears just to stop from weeping right then.

      1. begbert2

        I clearly need to make more girls cry!

        1. nekobawt

          it could work!

    2. Zuche

      Getting demoted from Cheerleader to So-and-So can be rough on some people.

  25. MontyPla

    WOOOO GO DANNY. Sure I’d rather see Bille/Sal but still. Wooooo.

    1. Aizat

      Hey, I’d rather see Billie/Walky but after this, I’m down with this.

      1. Jetstream

        Hey, College is a very experimental period. We could have many combinations, some of them all at once. That’s valid.

        And only one of them would be illegal in most states.

        1. MontyPla

          It’s only illegal if someone tells the cops.

        2. mechaqua

          according to Lawrence v. Texas most of if not all those laws don’t apply anymore unless your talking about animals that is still illegal.

        3. Jetstream

          Actually I was talking about Incest, which is still illegal.

        4. mechaqua

          Yes that is illegal and ewww

  26. Jabberwocky

    I’m actually quite tempted to make a Mulan joke right now.

    1. Aizat

      What, Billie is making a man out of Danny?

      1. MontyPla

        Let’s get down to business to find Amazi-Girl.

        1. begbert2

          Spider-Man 2 taught me that the only valid way to eliminate possible secret identities is to kiss them.

        2. nekobawt

          so i guess this rules out danny.

          OR DOES IT.

        3. MontyPla

          I still think it’s Ethan.

  27. Hythrain

    YES.

    That is all.

  28. Plasma Mongoose

    The question now is: Will Willis relaunch this ship again or is he just trolling the readers.

    1. Bekah

      I hope he’s trolling. Billie’s gonna end up with Joe or something.

      1. fellixe

        Or will it be like the Star Trek reboot – same ship but the crew isn’t quite who you were expecting them to be.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Just as long as Willis avoids using those annoying lens flares.

        2. fellixe

          Or blow up Vulcan. I’d really hate it if Willis blew up Vulcan.

        3. Zuche

          …’CAAAAAAAN!!!!

      2. Cheredarenee

        I want Billie to hook up with Sal… just once

    2. Doctor_Who

      Keep in mind that a few days have passed in continuity since the beginning, and this comic has no expiration date.

      Even if Willis does intend the various ‘ships to turn out like those in the main Walkyverse, there is no deadline. I’m sure we can expect plenty of different pairings from before, and there’s no guarantee that any that get launched will remain that way.

  29. Bekah

    Jennifer Billingsworth, you stop being so predictably manipulable THIS INSTANT or so help me, I will start to actually like you.

    1. Aizat

      I liked her already.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      That grav of yours makes it look like Robin can give one heck of a tounging.

    3. Jetstream

      Now now, don’t give Danny that much credit. There’s no way he did that on purpose 😉

  30. Doctor_Who

    So, Danny knows that Dorothy sent her, and as soon as he wants to get down to “business”, she starts smooching him.

    You just know a part of Danny thinks that Dorothy sent him an “I’m sorry” hooker.

    1. Kernanator

      Oh man, I’m loving this idea already.

    2. Ancestral Hamster

      *Applauds Doctor_Who’s brilliant idea.*

    3. Cheredarenee

      Excellent *insert air guitar*

    4. MM

      No points for guessing which part, I assume.

    5. Rex Hondo

      Well, it’s certainly going to be awkward when Dorothy’s actual “I’m sorry” hooker walks in on them.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Nah, Conquest will gladly engage in a threesome.

        Roz might stumble by and agree to join in as well, so long as she can film it.

        And that’s how Danny became the luckiest sonuvabongo in the world. 🙂

        1. Rex Hondo

          Danny becoming Galasso’s adopted heir…

          Yeah, THAT would a new direction for everybody, especially if he manages to gather a full harem in the space of a single morning.

        2. Doctor_Who

          Sounds like the makings of a sitcom.

          “A guy, three girls, and a pizza parlor”.

        3. Kernanator

          Pitch it to the networks now. You’ll make millions.

  31. AliaPie

    Gettin it in!

  32. NCP19

    That’s how you end a week. Well played, Willis, well played.

  33. mechaqua

    day bow bow chickachick owww

  34. Aizat

    Hope Danny’s Tandy is booted up.

    1. Henry

      Or he will be beaten with another bone, if you know what I mean.

      I mean his femur(s).

  35. Jetstream

    PFFTAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I don’t know why that’s hilarious but it cracks me right the fuck up 😀

  36. Raine

    GOD DAMMIT WILLIS. GOD DAMMIT. They’ve got enough in the Walkyverse! Give us some alternative loving!!!

    …Wait.

  37. brasca1

    Damn it! Just when I was thinking the Amber-Danny ship was safe Billie torpedoes it with a pair of very fine torpedoes. This is shaping up to be a universe where everyone who was meant to be together in the last one end up with the same people.

    1. Sam

      Why do you say they’re “gonna be together”? This is college. It could very well be a one time thing, if it even goes anywhere at all after this page.

      1. Andrea

        Plus Danny’s not over his ex yet — that doesn’t bode well for anything that might start between him and Billie. Maybe that makes the Amber-Danny ship even safer, since Billie could be the one he rebounds with.

        But really, I’m just happy to finally see some kissing! Yaay!

        1. brasca1

          Those are some good points. And this could just be a one time thing brought on by desperation, but I like the premise of what things might’ve been like if various Willis characters were brought together who previously weren’t.

  38. Sam

    YEP. IT’S GONNA BE THE BUSINESS FROM HERE ON OUT, ISN’T IT, DANNY-BOY.

    1. Aizat

      Err..yes, “business” from here on out.

      1. HumanDoctor

        From here on in-and-out?

  39. Aizat

    That actually worked? It never works for me.

  40. meanderling

    DoA: Everybody has sexual tension with everybody else.

    Otherwise known as college. Well played, Willis.

    1. Rex Hondo

      Are you saying we should expect the shipping lanes to be crowded, leading to inevitable ship collisions?

  41. Stephen

    It’s good work if you can get it.

  42. Fraser

    A one time thing? Please, placating girlish insecurities for sexual favours has fueled many a marriage.

  43. thatgirlwiththeglasses

    NOOOO DAMN YOU WILLIS

    1. Aizat

      YESSSS! THANK YOU, WILLIS!

  44. Kernanator

    “Tell me I’m pretty.”
    “Billie, I think you’re taking things a little too far…”
    *SMACK*
    “TELL ME I’M PRETTY! TELL ME I’M PRETTY, DAMMIT!”
    “Y-Yes Mistress.”

    1. Aizat

      Damn you, Kernanator.

      1. Kernanator

        Oh? *innocent look* Why, whatever are you talking about? What are you saying “Damn you” for?

        1. Aizat

          The imagery you have given. It never leaves my head, just like the image of that zombie girl from my nightmares.

        2. Kernanator

          Mission accomplished!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          *HIGH FIVES*

  45. SaruDa

    Ah, comics. Where nice things can actually happen.

    1. Aizat

      And where the worst case scenario can also happen.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        And when they are one in the same, we call it comedy.

  46. Ter

    This is so babies.

    1. Bekah

      Is it just regular babies, or is it babies McIntyre?

      1. Kernanator

        Would you like that Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          What about Hot & Spicy.

        2. fellixe

          Sour cream & onion

        3. nekobawt

          cool ranch.

        4. Zuche

          Orange and mongoose.

          …What?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          I am a floavour now? OOOOOOO!

        6. Zuche

          I think licking you to find out would be overly familiar on my part, so let us settle for this platonic shaking of the hands.

        7. vlademir1

          I’m reminded of playing children’s card games…

      2. Ter

        Babies McIntyre, totally.

  47. Iceman

    I need his game

  48. Tunasammich

    I, for one, thought the Tandy pick up line was excellent, I would have gone for it

  49. MentalMister

    I practically “squee’d” at the last panel. You aren’t going to kill every couple you made in the Roomies Universe! (at least not yet)
    You made my day… tomorrow apparently (I’m still in thursday)

  50. Ravux

    And suddenly sexy/awkward times are a go.

  51. mechaqua

    Willis you fiend!!! To leave us with this cliffhanger, how could you?

  52. Locke

    Whatever cologne he’s wearing, I’ll pay double for it.

    1. Kernanator

      I’ll have what he’s having.

      1. Aizat

        I’ll pay triple for what those two gentlemen having.

        1. Zuche

          But that would make it a threesome!

  53. Edd

    This is a much better way to spend a Sunday.
    Go Billie!

  54. Khantalas

    Danny: goddamn you, and you better hope this doesn’t lead anywhere.

    1. Sam

      It’ll probably lead about a foot and a half to his right or so, judging from the layout of that room.

  55. Lord Synick XXIII

    NOOOO! My DannyxAmber ship…. T.T

    1. Aizat

      Don’t worry, the ship will stay afloat. That’s what ship mods are for.

      1. Heavensrun

        Obviously this is going to twist into a bizarre love triangle where Amber <3 Danny, Danny <3 Billie & Amber, and Amber <3 Amazi-girl, and by extension Sal, who is so obviously Amazigirl it's unbelievable nobody else sees it.

        1. Heavensrun

          (facepalm) Sorry, that should’ve been “Billie <3 Amazigirl, and by extension etc etc." I need to sleep more.

        2. Shippy McShipper

          See, now you make me want to see Billie sharing her Amazigirl=Sal theory with Amber, who decides to run with it and become a rabid fan of that theory and help her investigate, in order to keep Billie off track and/or ruin her periodistic reputation, all the while being paranoically cautious that it may all be a trick to get her to slip her secret.
          So in the run of the (fake) investigations, the two of them get to grow close. Billie, having a supporter for her ridiculous theory, becomes more and more obsessed with Amazigirl, and by extension Sal, and Amber starts suspecting that there’s something else in there. And before long she realizes that she herself has spent an ungodly amount of time thinking about her co-conspirator/mark, and starts growing jealous.
          And then she realizes that she’s basically jealous of herself, and start considering if she should just tell her, EVERYTHING, but she realizes that it is far too late and now she’s stuck, forever watching her chase an imposible dream, and forever making it be impossible.

          Or, she could fake Amazigirl’s death and then try to seduce her. Maybe adopt a second hero identity and tell Billie that she was inspired to that by their research. But that’d be cheating.

          ALSO, I had to fire up notepad to type this, because the layout hides part of the text. What’s up with that?

        3. Historyman68

          I knew that would be a tvtropes link without even clicking it.

    2. Keulan

      There’s still a possibility that the Billie/Danny ship will run aground or hit an iceberg before it gets very far, leaving Amber/Danny free to sail.

  56. Mort

    If only I knew more girls who reacted that way to my apologetic stammering….

  57. LiC

    Doesn’t take much, does it? For either of them. 😛

  58. Michelle J Caboose

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Wait until she finds out that he is her long, lost brother. 😀

      1. Aizat

        NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

    2. iSaidCandleja-

      I keep clicking, but nothing happens! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

      1. Michelle J Caboose

        Then the broken, non-clicky link just saved you hours, or even days, of your life!

  59. TemplarKnight

    And with that, this becomes the most doomed relationship of them all.

  60. NCP19

    Wow, I just saw an ad over on QC with today’s final panel in it. You move fast, good sir.

  61. dragoonchris

    Well at lease they didn’t wait all summer to reveal their perverse sexual lust for each other.

  62. Osaru Sensei

    for some reason BOOM SHAKALAK was my reaction to the last panel. O_o

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Just as long as it isn’t OOGACHAKA!

  63. GenericScreenName

    I have a terrible feeling that this is just a dream/day dream of somebody at church right now

  64. Plasma Mongoose

    Who Billie should be kissing…

    1. Aizat

      Can’t decide whether I should approve or disapprove.

      1. tahrey

        Stand down, I got this.

        -beat-

        I fully approve this motion. Please, continue.

  65. John

    Willis must have been laughing his ass off at all the people railing on Danny’s approach in yesterday’s comments.

  66. cm

    Wow, everyone else is interpreting this way differently than I did. I thought the line that got Billie was Danny’s (obviously) self-pitying “You’re clearly out of my league.” I thought Billie was just trying to rehabilitate Danny’s low self esteem… she’s a nice girl lol.

    1. Heavensrun

      “she’s a nice girl”

      Hi, welcome to Dumbing of Age. You’re clearly new here.

      I don’t particularly dislike Billie, she’s had some fun moments, and some sympathetic moments, but nice? -Billie-? Even when she’s being -kind- she’s bongoy about it.

      1. cm

        Ah but she’s a softy underneath that crusty, bongoy exoskeleton. That’s why her RA has such an easy time bullying her.

  67. shoeboxjeddy

    Business time… Flight of the Conchords style. Oh yeah.

    1. NNinja555

      Only if he has his business time socks on.

  68. tahrey

    I hope he handles this better than I did when faced with a vaguely similar situation, and actually rolls with it… rather than being so shocked at hot-ish, seemingly friend- (or in this case, stranger-)zoned, and completely sober girl suddenly sucking face in his room that he pushes her off going… er, thanks, but what’s the deal here?

    Like, biggest mistake evar :p

    1. Historyman68

      Stranger Zone is by definition not Friend Zone.

  69. Jackson

    What.

    What just happened.

  70. Rex Hondo

    Danny had transcended the need for any one ship. Billie is but the first, for he has fallen to the Joe Side.

    1. DagonXIII

      The circle is now complete. When I left I was but a learner, now I am the master.

      1. mechaqua

        Only a master of evil.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Or a master bater.

        2. Joebo

          No no, he was one of those before.

  71. Roninwolf

    Joe is a Barney level wing man, so he’s long gone. Dorothy is at church, so she won’t be walking in. So that leaves…. Amber is in middle of a raid, isn’t she? Well, shit. There isn’t anyone to walk in on them.

    1. Soundbucket

      RUTH.

      1. Roninwolf

        But they’re “safely out of her juresdiction” (I prolly spelled that wrong), seeing how they’re in Danny’s dorm room. Of course, it could swing in a simlar direction, and we get to find out who Danny’s R.A. is.

        1. Joebo

          PLEASE let it be Ninja Rick!!!

  72. Wack'd

    Oh dear god. This is going to turn into another “Danny’s a clingy, naive little bongo” storyline, isn’t it?

    1. Seraph

      When all you have is a hammer…

      1. Rex Hondo

        …it’s really convenient, since Billie really likes getting hammered.

        1. Historyman68

          Zing!

  73. AJBulldis

    It’s kind of sad how much Billie wants validation. I feel bad for her. Kinda feel bad for Danny too.

  74. Zaratustra

    And you’re totally shapely and not getting fat! And you’re not a drunk either!

  75. Gentleman Mummy

    Give the way this arc has been going, it can only end with the founding of the Divine Church of PresBillieterianism.

  76. sarpiedon

    Billy, you must Joe her with your penis in her FAAAACE for a Nickel..

    1. MindfulWatcher

      Danny*

      Or, at least, I certainly HOPE you meant Danny.. It’d be weird if Billy joed herself with her own penis in her face for a nickel she’d pay herself..

      Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t watch though

  77. Seraph

    Oh, Lord. The two people who just can’t let high school go. They’re perfectly suited and catastrophically bad for each other at the same time.

    1. Slipgate

      Were you that used to ‘college’ and that unmindful of ‘high school’ when you were only a week into college? Maybe you were – I don’t know, just asking.

      People seem to consider Danny as hopelessly hung up on high school, but it really has just been a few days, and the time he was hung up on it was maybe the first day or two – you know, when you’re weighing four years of experience against two days, which are you still going to be more used to?

      1. Historyman68

        This isn’t exactly the same, but consider that Bart Simpson has been ten years old for 20 years, and he’s had 20 years of experiences. I know that time doesn’t move the same in DoA, but while they’ve only aged a week, they’ve kind of had a year of experiences, too.

  78. Crumplepunch

    WELP

    Fifteen seconds of UST has just payed off.

    1. Soundbucket

      words cannot describe how perfectly that gravatar matches your statement

      1. Crumplepunch

        It helps that most of my statements alternate between grumpy and cryptic.

        1. fellixe

          Gryptic? Crumpy?

  79. Matt of Steel

    Yep.

    That’s how easy it is to get women. Tell them they are pretty and then say you aren’t worthy of them.

    At least that is what TV taught me.

  80. Tenn

    Well, Danny, you promised. It’s business now. You better have a nickel ready.

    1. Azumango

      It’s business. It’s business time!

  81. Jerrery

    My two least favorite characters together! Yay! Cue awkward in 3…2…1….

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Awkwaaaaaaard!

  82. Billies

    be crazy yo.

  83. Richie9999

    Yay, some of my favorite characters together! Hot Damn! GET YOU SOME!

  84. Mekanism

    Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. The secret to getting into Billie’s pants.

    1. Joebo

      This is not the only way into her pants. This is only slightly less more difficult than the main way. The main way, of course, being alcohol.

      1. Joebo

        more*

  85. Axel

    Whoops, he said the magic word.

    It’s cute that she thought the last strip was her mistake of the day.

  86. Roborat

    Danny uses Flirt, it has no effect.

    Billie uses Rage, it is effective

    Danny uses Honesty, it is super effective.

    Billie uses Kiss, Danny has fainted.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Billie uses TONGUE.

      Danny is paralised!

  87. Arkadi

    All business, all the time. Yeah!

  88. Arkadi

    I love how he says “You’re a cheerleader or something, aren’t you?” Like, if you are nerdy-creepy to one of them, the cheerleaders will send a ninja squad into your room at night and wreak unspeakable vengeance on you.

  89. Sili

    Awwwwwww

  90. Fruit Punch Tsunami

    It kinda looks like Billie is in pain in the last panel. Like this is her last resort.

  91. ComicGeek11

    Le gasp! This wasn’t on the “what couple do you ship” poll D:

    1. Joebo

      …and the purpose of said poll is revealed. Clever girl… or rather Willis, but… eh Ima go with “girl.”

      1. David

        The poll just included people at the beach. There was no ulterior motive.

        1. Joebo

          A likely story. -_-

  92. Kernanator

    One is painfully shy and desperately wants a girl, the other needs someone to tell her she’s pretty.

    Together, they’re the Co-dependent Duo!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da BILLNY!

      1. Rex Hondo

        Dally?

  93. Kelvin

    WAHOOOOOOOOO~!

    YES!

    YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!

    So glad Billie and Danny have a shot. :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

  94. Drunken Nordmann

    One could say that Billie –

    *glasses*

    – really means business.

    1. Bunk

      YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  95. Minder

    goddammit

    1. Historyman68

      Heeeeeh perfect avatar

      1. Joebo

        indeed

  96. Historyman68

    A cheerleader will never leave Danny to go to Yale.

    1. Rex Hondo

      Although, given her penchant for partying, she might leave him to go to Ball State.

      1. Joebo

        >>Rim shot<<

  97. Kafloobop

    It kinda bugs me that there’s not outline distinguishing their mouths from each others.

    1. Rex Hondo

      I told you all, Lovecraftian horror! She’s not kissing him. She’s absorbing him!

  98. Pickle

    I guess Willis really couldn’t think of shipping Billie with anyone but Danny. I would’ve wanted to see how Danny x Sal would’ve worked out, but w/e

  99. Cassidy

    are they having universe breaking babies yet?

    1. Moonshine McGee

      Well, she was pre–

      oops, wrong universe.

  100. OhNoUDiNt

    Sexytime. Danny’s definitely gonna give her the business… The Joe end of the business.

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      And this is serious business, I take it?

      1. Maycroft

        for us fans? yes!

  101. DannyBoy

    YES! Willis, if they don’t get together or break up, I will destroy something dear to you!

    1. Khantalas

      And if they *do* get together or don’t break up, I will attempt the same.

      So, really, you can’t win with shippers.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I believe the proper term for people who are on board ships is seamen.

    2. Drunken Nordmann

      So you’re a danboy?

  102. Bill M.

    I will say this, judging by the look in her eyes, pity sex is still sex, and I don’t think Danny’s in a position to turn her down.

    1. Animal

      Sex is like pizza. Some times are better than others, but it’s all pretty damn good.

  103. Zem

    He had her at “you’re probably a cheerleader”.
    He’s probably the only person on campus who finally recognized.

  104. Scotty Van

    Billie needs to look into the BDSM community. Guaranteed she can find someone to say things like this to her on a regular basis. Cheerleader/nerd has to be SOMEONE else’s dynamic, right?

  105. newllend

    wow,that was unexpected

  106. SgtNumnum

    O.O

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