202

Scales
Posted on September 5, 2018 by David M Willis

202 thoughts on “Scales”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    WHO IS IT IS IT DANNY I BET IT’S DANNY

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Who would make a better sidekick, Wonderbread or Young Nasty Sal?

      1. Deanatay

        “WonderBread” makes a much better sidekick name, tho.

        1. Ana Chronistic

          and better sandwich

        2. Annonymouse

          Not really since you always wonder – is this bread?

          Sadly, the answer is no, it is not bread due to the use of enriched white flour. Note that it does not specify what kind of flour is used. In most cases it is washed, bleached and finely milled pine flour.

          People thought they were not getting enough fiber.

        3. Clif

          Amazigirl and Wonderbread just doesn’t cut it. Amazigirl and Ukeman sounds much better.

        4. The Golux

          But then they’d have arguments about how “uke” is pronounced in this instance…

        5. Schol-R-LEA;2

          Well, Willis has already had a SEM(M)E, why not an Uke?

        6. Ana Chronistic

          kinda disappointed no one mentioned the double entendre

        7. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

          Danny, Boy Wonderbread

      2. Roborat

        WonderSal.

      3. DEG1377

        TAKE ME FAAAAAR AWAY FROM THE MUCKY MUCK

  2. Victor Riley

    Yeah… “sidekick”.

    1. Doctor_Who

      She’s about to get a side kick, that’s for sure. Probably kicks all over, in fact.

      1. Keulen

        Side kick, face kick, ass kicking. Sal doesn’t limit herself to one kind of kicking.

        1. Stephen Bierce

          *plays Heart’s “Kick It Out” on the hacked P.A. speakers*

        2. Schol-R-LEA;2

          Boot to the head!

        3. Annonymouse

          And finally, to my lawyer, I leave, not a boot to the head…but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?

        4. JasonAW3

          And… A boot to the head!

  3. butts

    Sal: *kicks Amazi-Girl in the side*

  4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    Give up Sal – it’s a matter of time before you’re wearing a colorful outfit and mask.

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Dang nabbit. It’s “only” a matter of time, I meant to say.

    2. Keulen

      And going by a superhero name as well.

    3. 3oranges

      Even if Sal ends up with a mask, I doubt the outfit will be so colorful.

    4. StClair

      I imagine something like this, as a base…

      1. Fire_daws

        Um. Ah, I approve.

    5. Deanatay

      She already is, actually – her colors are black and white.

      Her mask? Apathy.

      1. Annonymouse

        I was thinking more along the lines of a motorcycle helmet with kitty ears.
        Need that all important concussion and neck protection.

        1. taekwondogirl

          I don’t really see Sal wearing kitty ears.

  5. Cattleprod

    Joe already has a code name, Amazi-Girl and Some Douchebag.

    1. Doctor_Who

      It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Some Douchebag!

      1. Abel Undercity

        Guy Gardner? Where?!

        1. Clif

          Now there’s a superhero teamup. Duke of Thingie and Some Douchebag.

        2. HMRC4EVR

          Ouch but oddly appropriate

  6. fishamaphone

    Amber is going to have an interesting relationship with the Walkerton family in general, it seems.

    1. Yumi

      I’m willing to ignore all the reasons Amber wouldn’t join Walky, Sal, and their parents for Thanksgiving, just to see how it would play out.

      1. Clif

        If Walky ask her, do you think she would turn it down? What’s she going to do with Thanksgiving instead? Go home to her Mom and Joe’s father?

        1. thejeff

          She’d go with her Mom, I’m sure. Despite Richard.

          At 18, blowing off family holidays is a big thing. Besides, school is most likely closed down – she’d be home for the week anyway. But that’s decades away.

  7. tim gueguen

    Umm, AG, I think you might have it backwards.

  8. Nono

    You either die a sidekick, or live long enough to be a hero.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I assume Jason Todd is some sort of Bizarro version of this theorem.

      1. Tacos

        Not everybody gets to be Retcon Punched back to life.

    2. Deanatay

      You either die during a team-up, or live long enough to become a sidekick.

  9. jeffepp

    Who’s the top, and who’s the bottom? Or, who’s the better bottom? Or, who’s got the better…

    1. Schol-R-LEA;2

      That will need to be resolved via Slipshine.

  10. Keulen

    Sal looks real pleased to be referred to as AG’s sidekick.

    1. Deanatay

      Nobody likes being called a sidekick.

      1. Clif

        You know you’d love to be known as Tracy (astronaut) Dyson’s sidekick.

  11. Mr. Random

    You’re her sidekick.

  12. Delicious Taffy

    Later, those creeps will tell their buddies that they totally kicked the gals’ asses, but then this crazy-buff ethnic guy showed up with a crowbar. Because people who rally behind rapists are worthless liars, that way.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      *looks around* I think somebody stole my crowbar from the pickup truck.

    2. Annonymouse

      Crazy ethnic guy with a crowbar?

      Sounds like that Benson guy outa Calgary.

  13. Shiro

    Are…are you sure you can’t just look at tumblr on your phone in the back til it passes? That’s what always works for me with customers. Try it.

    (/joking)

    1. Daisy

      I know that’s a joke but also, you’re not wrong!! AG’s philosophy of anger is just incorrect. Anger DOES pass if you learn techniques for working through it or redirecting it into more helpful emotions like determination and self-esteem.

      On the other hand, this seems more like a DID scenario where AG comes out to protect Amber, so anger management is part of AG’s purpose. Complicates things.

      1. Schol-R-LEA;2

        Back in the day, I did once suggest that Walkyverse Sal and Tony’s relationship would be a lot healthier if they just went down to the Power Exchange (or the local equivalent thereof, if any) and slam each other against the walls a few times.

        Don’t kink-shame Sal, brah.

        1. Schol-R-LEA;2

          I bet most of you forgot that Sal and Tony hooked up for a time, huh?

          Also, now that I know far more about BDSM than I ever wanted to*, something tells me what Sal would really go for is a Violet Wand or similar electroplay device, turned up to taser-level power levels. I’m not sure who she would be looking to apply it to, though.

          * Pro tip: don’t ever agree to help one of your parents run an adult toy business (which would get set up in a room at various hotel parties around the area), especially if said parent insists on giving customers live and extremely personal demonstrations right in front of you. Thanks, Dad, I’m sure my therapist appreciates the regular paycheck. Fortunately, I was already in my forties when this was gong on, so it was just more log on the bonfire of my mental traumas.

        2. BBCC

          I remember Sal and Tony.

          I also remember she once unironically called him her soulmate and, knowing Dumbiverse Sal, I laughed myself breathless.

        3. Daisy

          SAL AND TONY WERE SWEET AND HOPEFUL AND GOOD YOU TAKE THIS BACK

        4. vlademir1

          Using a Taser for electro play is a thing in and of itself.

    2. thejeff

      Are you really suggesting tumblr to get rid of anger? That’s one of the main sources!

    3. thejeff

      More seriously, that works for passing anger I suspect. Anger with an immediate cause you can just get a little distance from and it passes.
      Amber’s anger runs deeper. It’s all rooted in the abuse and trauma. It’s like the difference between being sad and being depressed – they’re superficially similar, but what works to cheer up someone who’s sad won’t help depression.
      That said, she’s still wrong. You can’t just banish it – repressing it, denying it does just let it build up until it erupts, but as Daisy said there are techniques for managing it and dealing with the actual roots of the problem. But Amber got martial arts instead of therapy.

  14. BBCC

    AG, honey, she’s saved you twice and is (generally) more level headed. Plus she’s the one with a vehicle.

    Pretty sure you’re the sidekick in this scenario.

    Also – Sal raises a good point. AG’s plan (which she didn’t tell Sal about) lets her punch more people who come to more addresses. Sal thought someone was legitimately in danger (and got her jacket ripped) because you couldn’t bother to text her and say ‘Don’t bother with these places, they’re fake targets I leaked’.

    And it didn’t have to be a fight – she could have put traps in the houses and called the police after telling Sal these places weren’t real targets.

    1. Some1

      I notice there is a distinct lack of police calling in this comic. It made sense when the biggest threats Amazi-Girl fought were random bullies and the White Board Dingdong Bandit. But now it kinda feels like she’s purposely letting them get away so she can punch them again later.

      1. BBCC

        Last we heard about the police was Ryan being arrested. And they probably still want to question AG about Toedad too.

      2. inqntrol

        Now that you mention it where the heck is the campus security? Given the recent events shouldn’t they guard the campus even during the night?

        1. BBCC

          They probably do but they’re probably not everywhere at once.

          Alternative possibility – this house is not on campus.

        2. lilyliv

          Maybe the campus security in DoA is just as inept as most of the ones where I went to school? I’m pretty sure the only work I ever saw them do was putting parking tickets on the cars of a bunch of people who couldn’t afford ’em.

        3. lilyliv

          (Note that there were car robberies and worse going on at the time.)

      3. Clif

        Trap and release is a sound strategy for sustainability, as is well known.

    2. Alden

      There’ no rule that the level-headed one has to be the superhero though! I’ve seen The Tick.

      1. BBCC

        Sal’s also done significantly more ‘mentor type’ stuff than AG has thus far. 😛

      2. Dana

        Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

    3. Regalli

      Seriously, can I restate just how fucking terrible an idea it was to send baby Amber to self-defense classes instead of therapy? Blaine got more or less what he wanted out of it – Amber hating herself and having no healthy way to talk about her trauma, much less her abuse – but it even backfired on HIM since it now means he has a daughter who is no longer afraid of and can beat the everloving SHIT out of him.

      Like, if after a couple years of therapy talking through the trauma and finding ways to rout anger other than beating up people*, Amber started studying martial arts so she could have a nice, explicit and principled code to help fall back on as well, that would be one thing. But when this is your only tool NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THIS.

      * I know about pretty much nothing about self defense and martial arts classes, but I’m under the impression you’re Not Supposed to fight angry (or at least not angrier than you naturally get when under actual attack) because it makes you sloppy and more likely to hurt someone worse than you intended. Like my family members who hit each other with swords every week say they aren’t worried getting hit by the experienced guy, it’s the novice who isn’t controlling their power yet who’ll give you the concussion.

      1. BBCC

        Hit harder than you intended, absolutely, get sloppy…depends what you mean. Some people find getting angry focuses them a lot more – until they break someone’s jaw because, again, harder than intended.

        1. Regalli

          I honestly have to assume by this point that some of those random minor vandals or possible bike thieves have been seriously injured, and that AG learning about post concussion syndrome would be… Interesting, to say the least.

          (It’s like watching those first few seasons of Smallville. I think Lana gets concussed like three or more times in the first season and there’s never any mention of how that actually restricts you in the immediate recovery period, much less how it fucks you up long term.)

        2. CJ

          Post concussion syndrome is a rather new idea. I remember a children’s detective story where the hero gets three concussions in a week, one of which is so bad he actually has a memory loss. The doctor insist on bed rest after the last, but no one doubts he will be fine in two weeks.

          What Amber learned about self-defense depends on the school she went to. Ethics depend on the teachers not the technique and we can be sure Blaine picked someone without noticeable ethics.

        3. thejeff

          Nope. Superhero tropes.

          I mean, I guess it’s possible Willis could explore that, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the direction we’re going. Anymore than we worry about the long term health consequences to the mooks Batman or Daredevil beat up.

          Just like AG isn’t going to screw up one of the ridiculous parkour moves she does and wind up with a broken leg. Or skull.

        4. Clif

          Neither do the guys who make those parkour videos. Makes you wonder what kind of mayhem never gets shown.

        5. Inahc

          the one time I let anger out in martial arts, yeah, there was actual power behind my kicks for once. Good thing I was up against my sensei and not a student. I think I was actually kicking better, but only because I wasn’t second-guessing every move for once.

          but fuck does anger ever destroy my fine motor control. makes it really hard to type.

          and it’s not like I really want to be able to kick hard in the first place – I want to be good at the *technique*, at the fun subdue-your-partner stuff that only hurts if they resist.

          …also I want to not be on the internet right now, but apparently that’s still not happening. :/

      2. lilyliv

        I pretty much agree–as somebody who also got sent to take martial arts instead of therapy, though thankfully for much less stabby reasons. You’re right, you’re not supposed to get mad because it does make you reckless and sloppy… but yeah, if you (general “you,” not YOU you) don’t already have the ability to channel your anger, maybe don’t take it until you do.

        1. Regalli

          *Internet gestures of support*

          I’m pretty sure we would have had the alter known as AG either way, and that Amber would have been motivated to learn because she never wanted to freeze again and maybe that structure would help her, but they could have so many other ways to deal with their feelings of anger and helplessness and it makes me so sad that they don’t. (AG and Amber united as the campus ‘vigilante’ who really mostly just scares vandals off by reminding them of upcoming projects but has subdued the odd rapist and dragged his ass to public safety? Could have been excellent, in a kinder world. Probably still defying at least a little death during the Great Car Chase Rescue, but that’s because God answers lesbian prayers and maybe in that universe Amber and AG would be in sync in their desire to keep going and take a few less risky moves along the way. I can dream.)

          Fuck Blaine with a fucking cactus, as always.

    4. Emily

      Plus, there is no reason to assume Sal has any desire to work with AG beyond this one issue especially considering her general opinion of her probably hasn’t strayed too much from “reckless idiot who is a danger to herself and others.”

      1. BBCC

        Well, yeah, but if anyone’s the sidekick here, it ain’t Sal, AG. 😛

      2. thejeff

        I think it has. She’d gotten a lot friendlier with AG – even before the split set in and we missed a bunch of stuff they did.

        When was the last time she ranted about the reckless idiot?

        1. Emily

          She’s critiquing her recklessness and poor planning in this very strip. Yeah, it’s less aggressive than her reaction to AG nearly getting herself and at least three other people killed with her reckless need to prove she’s not powerless but this is a significantly lower intensity situation.

        2. thejeff

          Still a far cry from “I’ve got to go (do risky life threatening heroics) to stop her.”

        3. Emily

          Still a far cry from being in a high speed car chase where everyone involved almost died.

    5. drs

      “AG, honey, she’s saved you twice and is (generally) more level headed. Plus she’s the one with a vehicle.”

      Plus, like Robin, AG wears a brightly colorful uniform, to draw attention away from the hero!

      (I can’t remember the original for that. Shortpacked? SMBC?)

      1. Jason

        THE original? Probably not too long after Robin was first introduced. People- no ideas ever truly being unique- have made that joke in so many different forms.
        I’m pretty sure Shortpacked! did it, and so did Texts from Superheroes.

        That’s not a dig at the joke maker by the way. But statistically speaking, if you think of a joke based on something well known someone else has almost certainly thought of it before. Presentation is everything.

        1. thejeff

          It’s probably been done in the comics too, at one point or another.
          Likely by the Joker.

    6. mister gray

      hmmmm AG is more like arrow than batman.

  15. DailyBrad

    Sidekicks can be awesome. I mean, quite a few of them suck, but Robin, Kato, uhhh, Speedy turned out gr-
    …he’s still neat, though.

  16. Yumi

    So, I’m sure someone’s already done this because…fandom, but I was thinking about it today and got curious, so:
    How would you pair DoA characters with the responses from the clone fucking meme?
    For those not familiar, the original comes from Buzzfeed, and the idea is to assign each response to the character you think bests fits. The response options are:

    ☐ I don’t want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex and I’m not gay.
    ☐ I’m not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.
    ☐ I’m gay, but I still don’t want to fuck my clone, that’s gross and weird.
    ☐ I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.
    ☐ I’d totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I’m good in bed.
    ☐ I’d fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?
    ☐ I’d totally do all sort of weird things to my clone I’d be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.
    ☐ To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
    ☐ It’s basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.
    ☐ It’s not the same as masturbating; it’d be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!
    ☐ I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.
    ☐ Not only would I have sex with my clone, I’d probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that’s how pro clone-fucking I am.

    1. Conuly

      The real question is “Does my clone want to fuck me?” because consent is important. (Also, is the clone aged up? I don’t think any of us want to fuck our infant baby clones, do we? Ew.)

      1. Yumi

        The clone is the same age as you and feels the same way as you.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          But does it have all the memories of the original? Also, does the clone fit in my pocket?

    2. BBCC

      ☐ I don’t want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex and I’m not gay.

      – Joyce

      ☐ I’m not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.

      – Walky

      ☐ I’m gay, but I still don’t want to fuck my clone, that’s gross and weird.

      – Ethan

      ☐ I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.

      – Amber

      ☐ I’d totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I’m good in bed.

      – Joe

      ☐ I’d fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?

      – Roz

      ☐ I’d totally do all sort of weird things to my clone I’d be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.

      – Becky

      ☐ To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.

      – Sounds like Robin tbh.

      ☐ It’s basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.

      – Sarah

      ☐ It’s not the same as masturbating; it’d be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

      – Mary

      ☐ I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.

      – Dorothy

      ☐ Not only would I have sex with my clone, I’d probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that’s how pro clone-fucking I am.

      – Richard.

      1. Dana

        Most of those you have down cold. More so than I ever could. Your picking Becky for doing weird embarrassing things with her clone struck me as off though because I feel like what she is inhibited about she could eventually bring up with Dina and because, come on, Mary’s the one holding back all the freaky shit.

        1. BBCC

          Becky would probably bring it up with Dina eventually but I was thinking more ;light hearted goofy’ tone there with just a bit of real desire to ‘practice’ before telling Dina (or if Dina weren’t in the picture for some reason – let’s say she okay’d clone fucking but isn’t ready yet herself), and Mary is absolutely holding back freaky shit but she’d never admit it because how ELSE can she judge the peons if they know she’s fallible?

        2. Jason

          Re- Mary- even to herself. Even to her CLONE self. Even her clone self to herself.
          I say that, we don’t know Mary enough to know for sure. But I’ve known Marys- not necessarily religious but that whole “I must know better and therefore BE better than you” and it usually came with phenomenal levels of denial and refusal to ever, ever acknowledge flaws and grow from them.

      2. Regalli

        Spot on. My guesses for other characters:

        I would say either ‘no because twin’ or ‘no because evil’ would probably fit Leslie as well (bless her sci-fi nerd heart).

        Sierra is probably somewhere in the yes categories, I think.

        Dina is probably not opposed to clone-fucking on any ideological ground, but would almost certainly rather spend that quality clone time talking about other things, such as dinosaurs and if clones are real then are they going to have to live in a world with Jurassic Park as a reality?

        Similarly leaning towards ‘no’ for Jacob, but no real reason I can pinpoint for him.

        Billie is probably pro clone-fucking. Ruth’s self-loathing is probably that strong, but then again: sexy lesbian suicide pact.

        Carla has like a hundred clones and together they have already created Ultra Car, complete with automated internal pie-making machine for maximum pie throwing on demand. She is either their baby or they will soon be free of their old physical forms and into their newer, better collective one. I have no idea which; cars can’t really roller skate.

      3. C.

        ☐ I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.

        The Anti-Joyce story

      4. FacelessDeviant

        ☐ I would never have pre or post marital hankypanky with my clone. Either its gay or masturbation and thats frowned upon!

        -Joyce

        ☐ I would fuck my clown.

        – Walky

        ☐ Would it bother someone, or make them mad? Because then I would.

        – Mike

        1. Jason

          Oh man, Mike. I don’t think he WOULD fuck his clone. If they feel the same they must have the memories- like a sudden second copy of you in completeness. I don’t think Mike would stand for being with someone who knows all his weaknesses, his vulnerabilities, any doubts or fears or concerns. That would be way too vulnerable and real for him.

        2. thejeff

          Unless of course they could put that aside for a higher purpose and screw each other to screw someone else over.

      5. Deanatay

        I would totally replace Dorothy with Dina for the second-to-last one. Ending a question with a period seems more like a Dina thing to me.

      6. Schol-R-LEA;2

        ☐ The only fucking that’s gonna happen is you fucking off.
        – Sarah

        ☐ Fucking your clone is totally not what a Family Values candidate would do, so I would never do it, right? Now pardon me while I spend some not-fucking time in this room full of my naked clones. Intern, please hold my clothes for me while I’m in there.
        — Robin, pre-getting-caught-making-out-with-Leslie

        ☐ Hey can it wait until we’re both back from our trip to Thailand? On second thought, maybe during the trip, if we schedule one of us later than the other. No, that wouldn’t work, it would mean several months delay for the one going second, damn.
        – Alex (and me… wait, did I say that out loud?)

        ☐ No clones! The Great Galasso CAN HAVE NO EQUALS!
        – Galasso

        ☐ Uh, Dad? I don’t think my clone will be able to get me pregnant with your heir that way. Got any other bright ideas for ensuring the legacy of your future pizza-restaurant empire?
        — Conquest

        ☐ I do not think we will be able to get the grants necessary for conducting such an experiment.
        – Dina

        ☐
        – Beef

        ☐ (raises middle finger)
        – Marcie

        ☐ Hey, I’m hot, she’d be hot, that’s like, hotness squared, right? I’m all for it.
        – Malaya

        ☐ I’m desperate, but I don’t think I’m that desperate. Oh, who am I kidding? I am that desperate.
        – Daisy

        ☐ Is this some sort of prank? Where’s the hidden camera?
        – Jason

        1. Jason

          Re- Alex- as a transman, I would totally not fuck my clone, because the stuff I would want to do to my clone I know my clone would be TOTALLY NOT OKAY WITH.
          I dunno though, I wouldn’t mind if my clone wanted to do stuff for me, but apparently the rule is they’d feel the same as me, so- hell no.

          Being trans complicates all kinds of shit, huh. Even clone fucking, is nothing sacred.

    3. Catullus

      Joe: “I’d fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?”
      Amber: “I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”
      Walky: “I’m not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone”

  17. Kyrik Michalowski

    Careful AG, them be dangerous waters ye be sailing into. That end panel is admittedly adorable though. Still, seeing her new mask just makes me wonder again, did that burrito successfully hit the mask?

    1. jmsr7

      AG probably really doesn’t know where the old mask went because Amber either disposed of it or left it where it fell (with or without the burrito on it). Indications are that her disassociation is getting worse.

  18. Vinny

    No, I’m Michael Jackson, you Tito.

  19. newllend(henryvolt)

    Ok Sidekick nominations are over.

  20. Some1

    The good news is at least there is a significant number of bad people on campus. Otherwise I feel that Amazi-Girl would start reconstructing minor crimes as being punchable. Really Ryan’s posse might be the only thing keeping Amber from going full she who fights monsters/knight templar.

  21. John

    Clearly you need to recruit more superheroes to your team. Try Bat-Woman; she’s tangled with these guys before.

  22. Bagge

    Is… is Amazigirl flirting with Sal?

    1. jeffepp

      Yes.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      As Carla once told Billie and Ruth, shoves is not loves.

      In the same vein, negging is not flirting.

      1. thejeff

        I don’t really see it as either. More like friendly banter.

  23. Kernanator

    Well, the good news is, thanks to Willis, we know this isn’t a dream sequence!

    The bad news is, this will have real consequences.

  24. foducool

    “ah am not wearin’ spandex”

    1. jeffepp

      “Your top is spandex.”

      1. Sunny

        That is structurally identical to a “your mom” joke/insult.

    2. BBCC

      Eh, neither do most heroes.

      I mean, it sure looks and works like it, but in-universe it’s not supposed to be.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Some of the cooler costumes are basically street clothes, like with Spider-Woman.

      2. thejeff

        I’d take a suit made of “unstable molecules”.

        1. John

          I played in a Marvel RPG once where I had one of those.

          It was explicitly unaffected by my powers, and had a material strength significantly higher than my unaugmented strength. Gypsy Moth (3rd-tier supervillain with fabrikinesis) kicked my ass with my own costume.

    3. Tacos

      “No capes!”

  25. Marisa Mockery

    …..whut

  26. Kit

    There’s a study for that. And Psychology Today’s article has an especially relevant title:

    You Can’t Punch Your Way Out of Anger

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/200909/you-cant-punch-your-way-out-anger

    1. Sunny

      Initially, the trick is to punch the punching bag while you’re NOT angry about something specific. You end up in a state of “meditative punching” which releases aggression and anger you may not have been aware of and leaves you far more calm and relaxed. Later on, once you’ve got some practise, the act of punching the punching bag will induce this state even while you’re angry about something specific, and allow you to release and let go of your aggression.

      tl;dr That study is shit.

      1. Sunny

        Also, 2 minutes is way too short to have any measurable effect. They might as well be measuring how much time needs to pass before people calm down after being upset.

  27. Synnerman

    This… this is crazy, yet cool.

  28. Reltzik

    Let’s see. AG knew the plan all along and Sal got suckered into thinking it was real.

    …. so, yeah, sidekick confirmed.

    1. BBCC

      Dude, making stuff up and not telling anyone about it because you think they’ll say no is like, a sidekick rite of passage. 😛

      …Unless we’re looking at Batman in which case, you can thank a solid history of batdickery for that. >.<

  29. Beef

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

  30. newllend(henryvolt)

    If this had been a series focused solely on the hero antics of Amazi-girl I’d be surprised that she didn’t come across a “Punisher” type anti-hero antagonist by now.

    Luckily it isn’t and we’re not going that far.

  31. JessWitt

    How does “The Salamander” sound?

    Or rather, Jane Dean.

    1. jmsr7

      “The Salamander” is already taken by Honor Harrington, the heroine of David Weber’s Honorverse series of novels. She’s basically a Mary Sue and Sal is no Mary Sue.

  32. Goki

    Why the hell would anyone admire that pin cushion? …. actually forget it… the answer would probably piss me off.. X_X

  33. Tacos

    So what’d be Sal’s superhero name?

    1. JessWitt

      See my comment above.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Look at her tattoo, she’s obviously a Spider-Totem.

    3. BenRG

      Yeah, I’ve used ‘The Spider’ for a while now.

    4. Deanatay

      She’d probably go with ‘Tarantula’.

    5. Sunny

      The 5th Rider

      Because she rides a motorcycle, and the first 4 spots for riders of the apocalypse are already taken.

  34. BarerMender

    It’s sad, sometimes, how language changes. “Sidekick” didn’t always mean “comic relief.” It used to mean “friend.”

    1. Pat

      Sidekick doesn’t mean “comic relief” now.

      1. Deanatay

        It kinda does.

        1. Sunny

          I have never considered it to mean that. “Sidekick” to me always meant the one who’s playing the second fiddle, not the most important character/hero, but still significant.

  35. brasca1

    Very well, but she gets to pick her own name.

  36. C.T Phipps

    I wonder who the new Amazi-Girl is since Amber killed the old one.

    1. Loki

      I bet it’s Sal.

      1. thejeff

        Don’t be ridiculous. Sal’s obviously Spider-Car.

        She’s got the tattoo and everything.

  37. Glitterbutt

    That middle panel – the expression reminds me of Blaine.

  38. Stoodmuffin

    Amber And Amaze girl may have more in common than I think

  39. abysswatcher1993

    I may agree that Amber has a mental problem, but I agree with her about beating the crap out of dangerous people, like rapists, murderers and supremacists. However, Sal’s point is slightly valid too. Maybe there’s a less violent way to get rid of the criminals, but Sal hasn’t made her case about how since she doesn’t trus tthe authorities and she seems to be of the philosophy of “everybody on their own”. Seriously, you can’t leave alone potential victims of a sexual predator until said predator and his accomplices are detained by the law.

    1. BenRG

      Assuming that the law has the slightest interest in the matter.

    2. Emily

      Sal’s point is entirely valid. It’s become pretty clear that “justice” is just an excuse for AG to hurt people while not feeling guilty about it. It’s why she tries to goad vandals into a fight instead of just calling campus security on them because she wants to exercise power over others to stop feeling powerless. Not to mention how incredibly reckless and inconsiderate she is of the safety of those around her when she’s indulging in this power fantasy which is another entirely valid point Sal has raised about her behaviour.

    3. Zaxares

      In addition to what Emily has said, using violence to solve violence tends to perpetuate the problem in the long run. The people that AG and Sal beat up also have friends and family, and odds are they’re going to side with their own kin over some strangers. They will likely then take out THEIR anger on others, whether the new targets are deserving or not. Do it for generation after generation, and that’s how you end up with situations like the deeply ingrained cultural hate that groups like the Israelis and the Palestinians have for each other.

      Giving in to that impulse for violence inside us is ALWAYS a bad thing.

      1. Emily

        Well no, that’s just untrue. Sometimes you have to meet violence with violence to protect people. Pacifism is an ideal rooted in extreme privilege.

        1. BBCC

          Plus even pacifists will often make an exception for self-defence or defence of a third party, especially if its non-lethal.

        2. abysswatcher1993

          Understood, but what I get from this story arc is that Amber is a dangerous thrill seeker and Sal is a pragmatist that doesn’t care about ideals. Both have valid points, but both have conflicting philosophies and only fight together because of the presence of evil people like Blaine, Gash Face and any psycho with a rifle entering school.

        3. thejeff

          True, I suppose, except that Sal also like to fight and without Marcie’s influence is probably happy for the excuse.

        4. BBCC

          I don’t know about that. She doesn’t seem very enthused about it and she notes this was a way for AG to work through her anger. Sure, she said to the guys it was about them tearing her jacket and ‘cuz she felt like it’ – but she was really worried that someone was inside the house and would have been hurt if she didn’t step in (thanks AG).

        5. thejeff

          You really going to tell me Sal doesn’t like to fight?
          I think without Marcie to hold her back and with Amazi-Girl to provide excuses, she’s going to head down a more violent path. In a good cause, of course.

        6. BBCC

          I think she’d get into a lot of fights, but I don’t know if she’d thoughtlessly enjoy it, in this context anyways – even here she’s got second thoughts about their methods. Now if this were another scenario like getting smashed at the bar and getting into fights for the hell of it (or, for that matter, a second chance to knock Malaya’s teeth down her throat) that might be another story.

        7. BBCC

          I think, for me, the reason I have a hard time believing she’d be 100% all in without second thoughts on fighting is because, based on this instance and the circumstances behind her and Marcie being on bad terms, I think she’d have a nagging back of her mind ‘Marcie would KILL ME’ feeling when she gets in fights with AG.

        8. Zaxares

          Of course you have a right to self-defense. That is not what I meant by my post. 😛 What I meant is do not give in to the temptation to indulge in violence as the first response, and do NOT enjoy it. Yes, fights and wars are sometimes inevitable, but they should only ever be employed as a last resort when all else has failed.

      2. JBento

        If only we had made nice with the Nazis, think of all the violence that wouldn’t hav- you know what, nah, I can’t finish that one, even if I was going to put an /s tag at the end.

        1. Zaxares

          Or, we could have perhaps intervened to stop the rise of the Nazis BEFORE they seized control of Germany and thus required a war to stop their invasions and pogroms. 😛 I’ve been watching the rise of far-right groups in Europe and elsewhere, and thinking governments should really do more to clamp down on these groups and their poisonous views before it can really take hold in the national mindset. All this can be done without resorting to violence, by outlawing more extreme political groups and bolstering social cohesion programs and educational outreaches among schools and other major cultural activities. (And yes, it may also require greater surveillance of media platforms like Facebook and Twitter.)

        2. thejeff

          “Only one thing could have stopped our movement – if our adversaries had understood its principle and from the first day smashed with the utmost brutality the nucleus of our new movement.” – Adolph Hitler

    4. BBCC

      In this scenario? If I were AG, I’d have trapped out the empty houses, set an alarm inside to alert me when they went off and called the police when the traps were triggered. Of course, I’d have also made sure Sal knew the plan so that this fight didn’t happen. We’d still have to protect the real addresses, but it’d be less violent than this.

  40. mrnoidea

    Those aren’t admirers — those are zealous members of a terribly flawed “bro code.”

  41. BenRG

    Yeah, Amazi-Girl is flirting with Sal alright but something tells me that Sal ain’t nobody’s sidekick!

  42. Rycan

    When is campus security going to look into all of these midnight brawls? I doubt it’s making the school look very good to new prospects.

  43. Emily

    There are outlets for anger other than violence you complete horse’s ass.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      For example, you could write a short story in which the object of your anger is repeatedly mocked and humiliated in public. Petty, but it gets the job done, and I always wind up cackling like a cartoon hyena.

    2. BenRG

      Given the verbal violence you direct at fictional characters, that’s something that I think you could well consider yourself. At least Amazi-Girl can claim to be protecting her community!

      1. Emily

        Did you seriously just equate being critical of fictional people to literal assault? Because it’s actually a pretty obvious example of an outlet that is infinitely better than Amber’s. Like, I’m not sure how you can’t see the complete absurdity of that false equivalence and how it’s actually kind of morally horrifying that you’d think they were comparable things.

      2. Knayt

        They’re fictional characters. They can’t actually be hurt, given the whole being fictional thing, and while certain criticisms have the potential to do splash damage on real people Emily doesn’t tend to make those.

        That’s without getting into the term “verbal violence”, and how incredibly low the standards for that seem to be. Mild criticisms and insults with no teeth from someone without a position of particular influence really don’t qualify.

  44. sun tzu

    Sorry, Amazi-Girl – you guys are less “Batman and Robin”, more “TMNT and Casey Jones”.

  45. Ryek Hvek

    I would worry a bit that Sal is not at all disguised, but then I remember this is comics, and Workaday Sal needs only put on glasses to become another person altogether.

  46. Arkzus

    As someone with what I feel is a severe anger issue, I have zero outlets for it other than being a really bongoy person. The rest just gets bottled up. Sure Amber is a fictional character, but I still applaud her for actually doing something positive with her anger, even if it isn’t always good for her. I suppose it’s better than letting it fester until it sends you over the deep end one day.

    1. Arkzus

      Apparently the profanity filter here things “bongoy” is a proper alternative to the word I used.

      1. Clif

        We knew what you meant.

    2. abysswatcher1993

      I agree. People need healthy outlets for rage, like violent video games, chaotic art, sports where you punch stuff, hearing heavy metal music, etc. Bottling up your rage and pretending to be a a calm and pacific person is going to be the end of any people with stress problems. Also, DON’T DO PURGES! Those arent about anger, those are about murder and racism.

      1. thejeff

        “Purges” “murder and racism”?
        Is this something specific I should know about?

        1. BBCC

          The Purge movie franchise maybe?

  47. Pylgrim

    This… is good isn’t it? Amber joking and teasing Sal?

    1. BenRG

      It suggests that Amazi-Girl and Amber still share common aspects to their personalities and behaviour. Most notably a mischievous sense of humour!

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Amber has a sense of humor?

  48. Shawn L.

    Worded this way, it almost sounds like a healthy outlet…

    … Almost.

  49. ShinyNeen

    Sal will be your battle buddy, and maybe give you a psychological observation or two every now and then, but she will never be a sidekick.

  50. maarvarq

    So this isn’t an extended dream sequence?

    1. BenRG

      It doesn’t look like it, no.

  51. WingedBeast

    1. That theory of anger… it’s not entirely wrong in that anger doesn’t just go away. But, the Purge Theory is wrong. It actually increases anger. So, you need a healthy way of expressing it.

    2. That said, part of what happened, here, was a healthy way of expressing anger. Not the punching necessarily, but the work put into protecting other people. She’s taking action for a productive goal. That is good. The punching and disassociation, less so.

    3. “Partner”, Amazigirl, the word is “partner”.

  52. SpaceshipPilot

    “…Look, I get you’ve got this whole LARP thing going on, but you ain’t a superhero and I definitely ain’t a sidekick. We’re just two people tryin’ to do the right thing. This is the real world, not a comic.”

    “We might be living in a comic. How would you know?”

    “…I ain’t gonna answer that.”

  53. darkoneko

    One word too many

  54. Ragingagnostic

    At the rate this is escalating, she’s going to need a superhero(ine) squad.

  55. Raine55

    Amazi-Pal or Amazi-Sal though?

    1. Teddae

      Definitely Amazi-Sal

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