332

Brb
Posted on December 10, 2013 by David M Willis

332 thoughts on “Brb”

  1. Tunaro

    Smackdown in 3…2…

    1. Aizat

      I wanted to see Amber layeth the smacketh down.

      1. rachel

        I want to see Amber CONTINUALLY BE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, EVER, FOREVER

        accomplishment unlocked

        1. DapperAnarchist

          Did you choose an Amber Gravatar, or did the wisdom of the system show itself again?

        2. rachel

          I cropped this one myself 🙂

      2. someguywithakatana

        Come back tomorrow night then.

        Oh who am I kidding? Willis is about to cut away to 20 comics worth of Dina and Riley, laughing maniacally.

        In retrospect, I’d be okay with this…

        1. Tunaro

          More Dina is a gift for all mankind.

        2. Luzahn

          She is quite adept at Justice even when not Amazi-Girling, isn’t she?

        3. Aizat

          And vengeance.

    2. Doctor_Who

      And you KNOW she could deliver.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        …the postman? 😛

    3. saltchocolate

      Can’t you just see her foot tapping off-panel? (Below panel?)

      1. Sir Robin

        It’s not tapping, it’s building energy for kicking Ethan’s ass

        1. HMRC4EVR

          You know…

          If Amazi-Girl had a Rider…well..Amazi-Kick it could be beyond awesome.

  2. KingMabel

    Commence anger…

  3. JebJeb

    Time for an asskicking.

    1. Tunaro

      GET SOME!!!

      1. Tunaro

        I have no idea what that mean, it just feels appropriate.

        1. Allcool-dontcare

          Yea it is. Its the short way of saying ”get some ass”

        2. madd

          Alternately, it can be short for “come get some” and it’s basically an invitation to come and get your ass kicked.

    2. Aizat

      Amber is going to open a can….

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        Amber: “Don’t make me open this!”

        I used to keep a can of that (before they changed the packaging, it used to be white with red print) on my desk when I was working in a call center.

        1. The Phantom's Belch

          This is the can of Whoop Ass I had.

        2. N0083rP00F

          Yeah, I can see why they would change the design so they could actually market the stuff internationally and not get an ass whoopin in the world market.

  4. Wolfe

    zoinks!

  5. Darth

    “And I, uh, left a baby in the oven. Yeah that’s it.”

    1. Yotomoe

      “I JUST REMEMBERED I LEFT MY APARTMENT ON FIRE!”

      1. Aizat

        “I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM!”

        1. saltchocolate

          My insurance doesn’t cover this conversation.

        2. Tunaro

          NON-SPECIFIC EXCUSE!
          *Crashes through window*

        3. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

          I need to go see a guy about replacing a window.

        4. SplashBoogie

          “And I just can’t take life anymore!”

        5. James

          LOOK!!! A Distraction! *Zoom*

        6. HMRC4EVR

          Look! I’m over there!

          (well, it worked for Sonic, but that was Adventures, not Sat AM. Adventures bad guys just weren’t that smart).

        7. Seerow

          I thought it worked for Sonic because when he said “Hey look, I’m over there!” he actually was already over there by the time the sound reached their ears.

      2. Lavaticmay

        “I have a body that won’t dispose of itself.”

      3. Doctor_Who

        I NEED TO GO PAINT MY CAT

        1. Jay Eff

          Well just make sure you don’t put mustard on the cat.

          Wouldn’t wanna do anything ridiculous now….

        2. I don't know what to put here.

          I wish I could’ve mustard the knowledge to get that reference.

        3. MichaelHaneline

          You should probably just relish your blissful ignorance.

        4. John

          Or start studying hard in order to ketchup.

        5. Jenny Creed

          Oh, you can take your thyme.

        6. Shadlyn Wolfe

          Oh, come on. We oreganover this.

        7. N0083rP00F

          I really want to thank you for making my finals week so fruitful. – Mayo

        8. Leorale

          I think I left my hat in the car. I should go… be with my hat in the car.

    2. Yotomoe

      Gotta hide! There’s a mountain lion!

    3. Cragalanch

      “Oh, is it that time? I need to go, uh, sacrifice a goat”

    4. Batman1016

      Oh geez, look at my wrist, I gotta go!

    5. CianM1301

      Look, a distraction!
      *Runs opposite direction*

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        “Say, is that a demonic duck of some kind?” *runs*

        1. xKiv

          The duck really doesn’t like being summoned and then ignored like that.

    6. Farmer_10

      *looks around* This isn’t where I parked my car. *runs*

    7. Daibhid C

      “I’ve just remembered my father’s died! And the funeral is today!”
      “And I’m the best man!”

  6. David Herbert

    She was actually standing there the whole time, but her Amazi-Girl powers kept her from being noticed.

    1. timemonkey

      She has trained with Dina to master the technique.

  7. Yotomoe

    Ethan was never seen again.

    1. LiamAldam

      Joyce’s eyebrows were never seen again.

      1. Jay Eff

        Who woulda thought her eyebrows would be the first part of her to reach Heaven?

        1. Tenn

          God: “Oh, these eyebrows make me look so pretty. Who’s a pretty God? You are!”

  8. LiaHansen

    What an efficient way to get to the Ethan beatdown!

    1. Yotomoe

      Welcome to Dumbing of Age SMACKDOWN!!!

      1. Aizat

        You dare come to The Rock’s show?

      2. KingMabel

        We got a great main event for you ladies and gentleman! Tonight we see Amber confront Ethan “in the closet” Siegal! Last week he tarnished their friendship, now its time to see how Amber reacts!

        1. Tunaro

          Whatcha gonna do, Ethan?! Whatcha gonna do when Ambermania runs wild on you?!!

        2. Aizat

          Finally, AMBER HAS COME BACK TO INDIANA!

        3. ironbillie

          HIT…..HER…..MUSIC!!!!

        4. Aizat

          -glass breaks-

        5. Rani

          MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
          I HAVE RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM THE GENERAL MANAGER.

          “Please keep making Smackdown references.”

        6. Aizat

          Playa, I’m making this a tag team match…with Da Undatakah. Holla holla holla.

        7. James

          Ethan will never EVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEERR to eat soild food agian!

  9. Jen Aside

    Looks like Ethan’s sausage is gonna get fested

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      His cocktail gonna end up with a toothpick through it. 😀

      1. Tunaro

        Once again the internet has given my brain an image that has left it horrified and scarred for life.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But the internets can also make you stronger… and a tad kinkier.

        2. coolhandluke

          just a tad? how little your trek through the internets has been

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Quite interesting, I even survived the guro sites mentally intact.

        4. Just Cheeto Dust

          Sounds like someone never got bored on the internet and looked up body modification!

        5. xKiv

          Or maybe like somebody was more than a little kinky to begin with.

  10. Skull025

    Convenient social dispersal grenade! Ethan prepares defenses! Amber readies shame laser!

  11. Aizat

    Ethan…thou hath some explaining to do.

  12. Ourorboros

    Lucy, you got some ‘splainin to do.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Lucy’s here?! I want her to meet Riley, they’re probably the same age!

  13. Menocu

    “No no…. she’s cool with me being gay!”

    1. I don't know what to put here.

      “We just, er…
      Make out and stuff sometimes?”

  14. Yotomoe

    Joe has a radar that understands the EXACT number of vaginas in the vicinity and goes off when the ratio decreases dramatically.

    1. Badeyes

      Ah, the legendary vagdar.

      1. Badeyes

        Since my normal gravatar has been replaced with an grinning Ethan at a bad time maybe I’ll be scarce to avoid getting the overflow beatdown .

    2. saltchocolate

      It must make a really unpleasant noise — the look on his face is almost as unhappy as Amber’s!

      1. Rex Hondo

        When the vag-ratio drops below an acceptable level, it makes a loud “DONG.”

        1. saltchocolate

          Loud — but not hard?

        2. Rex Hondo

          No, a hard one is how he knows the ratio has risen to a more acceptable level.

  15. Badeyes

    Don’t kill him Amber!

    1. timemonkey

      You can make him suffer first!

      1. Yotomoe

        Crush his skull like sparrows egg between thighs!!!

        1. Blue Dragon

          But Amber isn’t a cheerleader. Ruth says that’s what cheerleaders do.

        2. timemonkey

          So Ethan’s last moments will be a face full of Amber’s crotch? How fitting.

      2. Aizat

        Eat him then kill him.

      3. Rani

        NO TEARS. THEY’RE A WASTE OF GOOD SUFFERING.

  16. LiamAldam

    It’s funny that Amber is acting like a better mother than Ethan’s mother is.

    1. timemonkey

      Yeah, she’s one bad mother-

      1. Aizat

        Shut your mouth.

        1. Rani

          BUT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT AMBER

        2. MM

          We can dig it.

      2. Yotomoe

        Shut yo mouth!

    2. LiaHansen

      This has nothing to do with your comment, but I just realized what your avatar is, and wanted to salute you for it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        ElectroBuzz Lightyear.

    3. Historyman68

      A piece of string with googley eyes taped to it would make a better mother than her.

  17. Wonder Wig

    Now see as the helpless insect is absorbed by the amber and dies…

    1. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

      And now see how the praying mantis eats its mates head after coitus.

  18. Plasma Mongoose

    “I loave the smell of awkward in the morning”.

    1. Yotomoe

      I always buy a loaf of agony for sandwiches.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Some people are bread for unhappiness.

        1. I don't know what to put here.

          That joke was barley passable.

        2. Yotomoe

          I think it was all rye-t

        3. Kernanator

          Ryelly, guys? This pun thread is a terrible idea.

        4. Deathjavu

          I can understand being annoyed by puns. You shouldn’t be so sour, dough.

        5. Rex Hondo

          If I had a pumpernickel for every time somebody said that…

        6. saltchocolate

          You guys are on a roll.

        7. Yotomoe

          I know I’m the yeast likely to make a bad pun, but I think I can rise to the occasion.

        8. Tunaro

          Maybe it’s naan of my business, but I think the puns are starting to fall a bit flat.

        9. Rex Hondo

          This pun thread is really starting to give me a pain.

        10. Meyers was Here

          C-c-c-combo breaker!

        11. Deathjavu

          These puns have really leavened the discussion. (if you don’t get this one, look up the definition)

        12. Jenny Creed

          I’m amaized at the reach of these puns.

        13. Bill

          Rex was still on topic; pain is the French word for ‘loaf’ (as in ‘loaf of bread’).

        14. Rex Hondo

          *dingdingding*

          You win five internets!

        15. begbert2

          I was wondering about that. It’s good to know that it was able to pan out.

    2. coolhandluke

      all these puns are suh-wheat

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        Challah gonna keep going with them?

        1. Shadlyn Wolfe

          Oat not, I think…

        2. JepMZ

          you guys are gluten me crazy!

  19. Luzahn

    Hey, it’s Tumblr page Grinning Joyce! Joyce faces are great.

  20. JessWitt

    Someone must have pressed the fast forward button on this comic. I wouldn’t want to be in Ethan’s shoes right now.

    1. xKiv

      In general, I don’t want to be in the same shoes with somebody else.

  21. Kernanator

    If looks could kill, Ethan would have been dead several times over by now.

    1. MM

      He already is. That anguished expression is him recognizing that his heart’s just stopped. Again.

    2. Badeyes

      That look is the ‘soul dribbler’ the victims soul is violently tossed out of the body to the floor and back repeatedly. He can only hope she stops when it’s back ‘in’.

  22. saltchocolate

    Is Jacob stupid or insensitive? Inquiring minds want to know . . .

    1. Yotomoe

      Maybe he just assumes that someone as hot as Sarah is too good for him. Maybe he’s one of those handsome people that underestimates his own handsomeness.

      1. saltchocolate

        Like the joke’s on him? Wow. I didn’t think of it that way.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Nah just clueless, many guys are like that when it comes to female attention.

      1. saltchocolate

        I guess I can see this. I had to *tell* my boyfriend that I was flirting with him.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          When I was a teen(oh so long ago), I had friend occassionaly make claims that I was kinda clueless in that department as well, but if I was, I shouldn’t have been able to spot other people’s cluelessness.

        2. ninja_jesus

          People can spot everyone else’s cluelessness but their own.

        3. xKiv

          Everything looks different from a third-person POV. Like, for example, from comments section.

      2. Baker

        Like Danny!

    3. chris73

      Probably just thought she was joking as its not the sort of thing someone says when you hardly know them

    4. Luzahn

      To be fair, Sarah comes off as a bit abrasive most of the time. Her “smitten” reaction may just not be enough for Jacob to notice.

    5. Ourorboros

      It’s always easier to tell when a woman is interested in someone else, especially when you aren’t in the “searching” mode. It’s harder to notice when it is you they are trying to get interested when not in that frame of mind.
      That’s why you can tell when a woman wants one of your friends to ask them out, you notice and they don’t and vice versa.

      Of course when some guys are looking, they think every woman is interested.

      Really, when I was that age I’d get that all the time. “Why didn’t you ask her out?”

      Remember, guys have two brains and only enough blood to use one at a time.

      1. Compulsive Collector

        It’s kind of amazing that people communicate such patently silly generalizations about gender as though any of it were valid. Applying your own limited experiences to the whole, wide world of human interaction and sexuality is both naïve and egocentric.

    6. Historyman68

      If I recall correctly from Sp!, Jacob isn’t very good at handling when girls want him.

  23. Barf Ninjason

    It’s funny because they’re almost all idiots.

    1. Badeyes

      Not almost, they are ALL idiots. Just have different areas of expertise.

    2. Ourorboros

      The perfect avatar for that statement.

  24. Gram91

    Looks like Ethan lost his shield of anonymity to protect him from Amber.

    1. Doctor_Who

      You mean he lost the witnesses. Now the murder can take place.

      1. Gram91

        Well, what I mean is that Amber respects his wishes to remain in the closet, but with no one around to find out…so yeah the murder can take place.

    2. Bill

      Since they are still in public, this is the point at which Amber delivers the non-specific “Wait until I get you alone!” threat …. which results in Ethan’s mind exploding from the overload of imagining just what Amber will do to him.

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        And in that strip…

        Third panel: Unexpected kiss.
        Fourth panel: BLACK!
        Fifth panel: Amber and Ethan naked in bed cuddling, Amber with a satisfied look on her face, and a dazed expression on Ethan’s.

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    Also, Jacob shot Sarah down without even realising it.

    1. MM

      Maybe he’ll get it if she throws a toy at his head.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Does a baseball bat count as a toy?

        1. MM

          No, in Sarah’s hands it’s more like Mjolnir.

        2. ironbillie

          But Sarah is War Machine not Thor.

        3. Aizat

          It’s more Stormbreaker than Mjolnir.

        4. ironbillie

          So just thinking about it but which Avenger would Ethan be? I mean, Sal is Quicksilver, Ultra Car Vision but what about him?

        5. ironbillie

          A shortpack non human female employing who never takes her skates off. God Dammit Nappa Davis!

        6. Aizat

          Ethan could be Asgardian…err…I mean Wiccan.

        7. ironbillie

          I was thinking he was more of a Wasp.

        8. Rex Hondo

          Well, he would be more of a Wasj, if that’s a thing…

        9. Aizat

          Moon Knight works too. He is like the Marvel equivalent of Batman.

        10. ironbillie

          But The Dumbing of Avengers gender have been switched. How else do you explain that Sexy Danny Widow!

        11. Aizat

          Danny Widow? I thought Jacob was the Black Widow. Danny could be the Wolverine….and yes, it is ironic that I made Danny, a character I liked into a character I don’t like.

        12. ironbillie

          Danny is Black Widow along with Hawkeye.
          http://itswalky.tumblr.com/search/avengers

        13. John

          Was playing some Marvel superheros game on X-Box with my brother and his young son one day, and my nephew slapped Moon Knight into our team, exclaiming, “Moon Knight will save us!”

          My brother looked at me and said, “I bet that’s the first time in history anyone’s ever said that.”

          So now I crack up any time anyone mentions Moon Knight.

          I mean, not that I didn’t before.

  26. ironbillie

    The “oh shit” scooter is now over 9000.

    1. LiaHansen

      I’m going to assume you meant scouter, but frankly, I like the idea of an “oh shit” scooter better. Just zipping around in the background of webcomics that necessitate an “oh shit”.

      1. MM

        One of the lesser-known Ultra Car prototypes.

        1. LiaHansen

          Damn you Willis and your censorship! Don’t worry, I know exactly what’s under there.

        2. MM

          Nah, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have attempted to pollute the Dumbiverse with my forbidden knowledge of other planes.

      2. ironbillie

        God Dammit Nappa.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Any scooter with an engine more than 9000cc deserves the moniker “OH SHIT”!

  27. Yotomoe

    Why’s everyone leavin’!? Ethan, did you fart?

    1. LiaHansen

      Yup. Continuously. Out his mouth. For the past few weeks. I’m surprised you didn’t notice.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Oh god, does that mean Joyce likes the smell of Ethan’s mouth-farts?

    2. ironbillie

      Nope, Joyce did!

  28. newllend

    …you know what fuck it let, let all hell brake loose, the wrath of amber is upon you ethan

    1. I don't know what to put here.

      Hell hath no fury.

      1. ironbillie

        Don’t worry Ethan, Amazi-Girl will save him from certain Doom!

  29. JessWitt

    Brb: Beatdown rightly beneficial.

    1. saltchocolate

      Behind Rude Bastard.

  30. Baker

    Bet he regrets spiting her about now.

  31. Lauren

    The hovertext is so heartwarming.

  32. Ragnal

    YOU CANNOT AVOID THE DEATH STARE FOREVER.

    1. Yotomoe

      The only way to stop the Death Stare is to fly along a trench and shoot into a tiny 5 meter hole in it.

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        Stay on target!

  33. Lauren

    I just realized, Ethan totally looks like a mouse in that last panel.

    1. Alex Stritar

      And suddenly, Dumbing of Age takes place in the world of Maus.

  34. Aizat

    And suddenly…the room got colder.

  35. March

    RUN ETHAN
    RUN
    Because for real
    Amber is about to throw some uncomfortable truths in your face
    And she will do them while glaring in a condescending manner

    1. Yotomoe

      Amber calls her fists the “Uncomfortable Truths”.

      1. Badeyes

        um, yeah, not going to go anywhere with that one…
        ~!~~~mumble mumble ruth~~~mumble billie~~~~

  36. I don't know what to put here.

    Shit’s ’bout to go down,
    IN DA TOILET!!
    And s’not gonna be a pleasant shit, it’s gonna be a burner.
    Y’ALL KNOW DA ONES.
    Dose ones named Larry, Curly and Ultracar.
    …
    I’m implying that something bad may occur in the next panel, as the infinitesimal events, revelations and plot developments have led up to, or will lead up to, this next scene.

  37. Nym

    Jacob is one of *those* ridiculously attractive people, I see. Even Sarah’s clue by four to the head delivers only a glancing blow, as effective as a styrofoam sword.

    1. gustheghost

      “clue by four”

      that’s a really great way to phrase what just happened. 😀

  38. Plasma Mongoose

    Amber’s gonna lay a heaping helping of guilt on Ethan that any Jewish mother can be proud of.

    1. John

      I’m guessing there’s a specific Jewish mother who’ll be anything but proud of what Amber’s about to say to Ethan.

  39. Alex Stritar

    Everyone has left the cafeteria, so there are no witnesses. Have fun, Ethen.

    1. The Phantom's Belch

      Technically Dina and Riley are still there. But then, they’re too engrossed in their discussion of the pros and cons of certain cereals to notice.

      Either that, or Dina’s teaching Riley the art of the door-ninja.

  40. caesaria82

    Ooooh, shit is about to get real. You’re in so much trouble, Ethan. So much trouble.
    Smart move by everyone else to get the hell outta there. Carnage is imminent.

  41. LBD "Nytetrayn"

    I forget, why is she pissed at him again?

    1. Deathjavu

      He’s lying to himself about being gay?

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/support/

      1. Greenygal

        She’s probably also under the impression that he’s still lying to Joyce about it.

      2. John

        Not just that. Remember, Amber is not just Ethan’s friend; she’s his ex-girlfriend. Ethan dumped Amber on prom night while failing to relieve her of her virginity because he was gay… and now that they’re at college, he’s dating another woman. That has to feel more than a little like, “I thought I wasn’t into women, but it turns out that I’m just not into you,” coming from someone that Amber fully believed that she would someday marry.

        1. Sam

          Also, there is the fact that Amber put time and effort into helping him with his family situation when he came out which is completely wasted if he jumps right back into the closet. He might as well have just stayed in in the first place, because to his family, it now looks like SHE was the problem and all the time, effort and mental exhaustion she put herself through becomes completely worthless. Instead of thinking he is gay as a fact they also disprove of, they think Amber was so bad for Ethan that he thought he had to be gay which shifts the blame entirely to the one who constantly tried to help him.

          That is really unfair for Amber because it just puts more stress and hatred on her and she actually has no way to stop it directly because it is Ethan’s actions that are causing it.

        2. Bill

          Late with this comment, but are we sure that Ethan didn’t shag Amber after the prom because he was gay or was it perhaps because he maybe had a mild case of scruples and used his sexual orientation as a excuse?  Because I’ve got to wonder why Ethan had gone to prom with Amber in the first place if he wasn’t attracted to her in some way or another.  I don’t think it was to see if he was actually gay or merely gay-curious; prom is a HUGE social event and not merely a casual Saturday night date to the pizza parlor when one is just ‘feeling out’ what it’s like to be with someone of the opposite sex/gender.

        3. Bill

          And of course I may be way off-base with this.  I didn’t date in HS and never went to prom in either my junior or senior years, so I have absolutely zero personal experience on this subject (prom, that is).

        4. David Willis

          we’re pretty sure

        5. John

          Amber wasn’t just Ethan’s prom date. She was his long-term girlfriend, and fully believed they’d be getting married eventually. (As of the conversation outside Galasso’s, still believed that, if it weren’t for the gay thing, they’d be marriage-bound.)

          I don’t think it’s ever explicitly spelled out, but the impression I’ve gotten from putting together pieces from here and there is that they’ve been friends since grade school, were a couple all through high school, and that prom night was supposed to be the Big Night that they went all the way. Amber wanted it, Ethan wanted to want it – whether because he didn’t want to be gay, or because he didn’t want to disappoint the woman he loved, or some other reason, I’m not sure of – but proved to be not, ah, up to the task.

          I’m not sure I want to know what kind of “scruples” you think should be attacking Ethan here.

        6. Bill

          I was thinking religious scruples; wasn’t he raised Jewish?  So I was thinking of the whole “save it for marriage” sort of mindset.  Not to mention the possibility of the act resulting in her getting knocked up which would derail any plans for the future (like college) that they might have had.

        7. John

          Yeah, that was about what I was afraid of.

          Having a religious identity does not mean that you’re Joyce-crazy. Particularly “Jewish”, many of whom identify as culturally Jewish, but are not religious to any notable degree – I know quite a few atheist Jews, and most of the Jews I know will happily chow down on bacon cheeseburgers – and even the mainstream of observant Jews are not as wacko about pre-marital hanky-panky as Christian sects like Joyce’s. (Hell, neither are mainstream Christians.) I’m not sure how observant Ethan is, but given that I’ve known him for years over in Shortpacked!, and I’m not sure how observant he is, I suspect the answer is “not very”. And by Jewish lights, Ethan and Amber have been adults for five or so years now…

          I’m not sure what Amber’s religious background is… with a name like “O’Malley”, I’d guess Catholic, but, again, I’ve known her for years over in Shortpacked!, and even seen her wedding over there (in a toy store, with Robin presiding), and I’m still not sure what her religious background is, so I don’t think she could be very observant.

          So, yeah. She wasn’t underage. (Age of consent in Indiana is 16.) She wasn’t drunk. She wasn’t crying. She’d evidently been planning and expecting it for some time. And now she thinks she made a mistake. Turns out that mistake was asking Ethan.

          And, hey, have you ever heard of contraceptives? Amber’s smart enough to use them. As long as no one mistakes her pills for breath mints, she should be good to go…

    2. Yotomoe

      Because Ethan Has been Danning it up at a magnitude once thought impossible.

      1. nothri

        Is there a specific unit of measure for this? How much is one Dan on the Metric scale?

        1. anonymous

          If it were 45 m/s^3, would that imply that Danny was a jerk?

      2. John

        Nah, Ethan’s not Danning. The thing about Danny is that he does what he thinks is the right thing; he’s just clueless and has some really messed up ideas about what the right thing is. Ethan, on the other hand, knows perfectly well that what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s doing it anyway.

  42. Kiggy

    Everyone left because they saw Amber approaching,

    Cue “Jaws” theme…

    1. ironbillie

      What about Jacob? He have eyes in the back of his head?

      1. Ourorboros

        It’s the sudden chill and a Spidey-sense.

      2. Kiggy

        Jacob was just going to the next item on his schedule which just happened to be at the same time that Amber was about to pounce on Ethan.

        Yeah, that’s it.

  43. Bunivasal

    Is it unethical for Ethan to hide his proclivities? I feel like people deserve to know when they will share a bedroom with someone who has a nonzero chance of fantasizing about them sexually.

    Also, is it homophobic to be grossed out by the things you imagine that a gay guy might mumble under his breath to a guy he’s fantasizing about? Or is that just regular discomfort?

    1. Shrugs

      No one is ever under an obligation to out themselves. Being an out gay/lesbian/bi/trans etc. person still carries a risk of harm.

      1. David Willis

        BUT THEY MIGHT BE THINKING ABOUT US BEING HOT!!!

        1. Doctor_Who

          I just walk around assuming everyone thinks I’m hot. Because I am.

          Drink me in, everybody!

        2. timemonkey

          *slurp*

      2. Heavensrun

        On top of that, somebody could be -straight- and might still have a nonzero chance of finding their roommate attractive. Not only is the Kinsey scale a thing, people do sometimes have exceptions as well.

    2. Rex Hondo

      I’m going to go with a definite no. What goes on in a person’s head is nobody else’s business unless and until they decide to act on it.

      1. Badeyes

        Maybe, but most people are creeped out rather than flattered if they find out someone they are not at all attracted to are oogling them.

        1. David Willis

          Yeah, but finding me knowing if a dude is gay does not tell me if that dude finds me attractive. And requiring people to tell me if they’re gay just so that I can know if there’s a mere possibility that they might be secretly ogling me is kind of amazingly arrogant.

          Especially since, y’know, knowledge of certain sexual identities can put folks in real physical danger.

        2. litui

          If you leave it like that with no specified genders for the individuals, you have a non-homophobic statement.

          It’s not at all necessary to be creeped out, but to each their own phobias. Right at this moment somebody could very well be having fantasies about you. Best not to worry too much about what goes on in other peoples’ heads.

        3. Rex Hondo

          Ah, but ogling, at least in such a blatant manner that one gets caught and it makes the object of said ogling uncomfortable is a behavior that is to be discouraged regardless of gender.

    3. David Willis

      (one kind of) Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women.

      1. rachel

        BEST. EVER.

      2. Ourorboros

        I will appropriate this.

      3. Alex Stritar

        I want to say something witty in response, but really the only thing I can think is “This.”

      4. bunivasal

        In college, a gay guy I knew borrowed my new girlfriend’s computer and used it to get some adult pictures out of me. I wasn’t galled that a gay man had pictures of me: it wasn’t the first or last time that would happen. It was that he used deception to get them from me, and that he deliberately shared them with people who knew me, in order to make me feel uncomfortable. It does happen.

        Understand too that I’m not generalizing “all gay men”, either. I specified a specific relationship: Ethan and Jacob. Because Ethan is barely in the closet. Because they’re roommates. Because Ethan does specifically have the hots for Jacob. Because I didn’t think Jacob is a violent homophobe that is a threat to Ethan’s personal wellbeing.

    4. Ourorboros

      No, not required, not regular discomfort.
      BTW, do you assume women have a greater than zero chance of fantasizing about you? The truth is not all women fantasize about you and hopefully you don’t fantasize about all women.

      You can only complain about somebody’s behavior, not their thoughts or WHAT YOU IMAGINE THEIR THOUGHTS TO BE. Their actual actions, not how you twist them to fit a narrative.

      This desire to paint a giant red ‘G’ on Ethan’s chest has nothing to do with ethics.

      1. Rex Hondo

        What does Ethan’s George Weasley cosplay have to do with anything?

        Oh, you were talking about a different “G,” weren’t you?

      2. bunivasal

        In this case, I was thinking because Ethan is Jacob’s roommate and thus has greater access to Jacob’s privacy, and because if we’re not treating gay men as being any different than straight men, I have a good idea of how trustworthy I’d be with that kind of access to people I find sexually appealing.

        In that I’d be trustworthy, but only just barely.

    5. Jenny Creed

      Well, he is asking people to lie for him. I, for example, couldn’t do that, so I couldn’t be his friend, or in fact have anything to do with him unless I wanted to put him at a nonzero risk of becoming a hate crime statistic.

      We have to remember that he’s not the one doing anything wrong; it’s the world that’s wrong for making him feel the need to hide what he is when he shouldn’t have to. And if he ask a lot of his friends, well, that means he gets fewer and better friends.

    6. davidbreslin101

      The message I’m taking from this thread is that Ethan is fine staying in the closet so long as he doesn’t somehow sexually harass Jacob while he’s in there. Which seems about right to me.

    7. Logician

      I don’t think it’s unethical for him to hide his sexuality: that’s his choice. I don’t even have a problem with him asking others to help him hide it: everyone has secrets, and you don’t spread things about your friends, even if they’re true.

      What I can’t accept is his lying to himself. He knows, from his experience with Amber, that he can’t have a sexual relationship with a woman. He hasn’t got any reason to think it would be different next time. He wants to stop fancying men, because it’s socially unacceptable, but how would that make him start fancying Joyce? He’s just hoping the problem will go away, which is an attitude I despise.

    8. Compulsive Collector

      Unless your roommate is asexual, and that’s only 1% or so of the human population, your nonzero chance doesn’t exist. And yes, your comment is teeming with homophobia.

    9. JustDucky

      So… if you assume it’s reasonable and typical to refuse to share a room with anyone who might potentially be attracted to you, does that mean you believe us bi folks shouldn’t be allowed to have a roommate?

      Also, whispering creepy nothings to someone is NEVER okay. Where you fall on the Kinsey scale is utterly irrelevant.

      1. bunivasal

        I didn’t think it was okay to whisper creepy nothings to someone. It’s just that I’ve heard a lot of straight guys doing it–which is fucking gross and I wish they’d stop–and I extrapolated in a way that made me uncomfortable.

        So I guess it’s not homophobic so long as remember to explicitly say that I don’t like it when men do it to women, either. Or when women do it to men. Or anyone does it to anyone else.

    10. Tenn

      *sarcasm mode*

      I feel like people deserve to know when they will share a bedroom with someone who has a nonzero chance of being nosy about their sexuality.

    11. John

      I actually have shared a bedroom with a guy whom I did not just suspect might be, but knew by his own admission was, into me, both before and after I found out about his orientation and attraction. It did not harm me in any way. I let him know that I was straight and wouldn’t be receptive to a pass, and he didn’t try to make one. If he occasionally saw my pasty white ass when I was changing, well, didn’t hurt me any. It’s not like he was going to infect me with the gay with his ogle-rays or something. No one made me look when he was changing, and his body wasn’t any more or less unappealing than a straight guy’s would’ve been anyway.

      And, yeah, I’d say that sitting around coming up with imaginary scenarios of things that someone else is not actually doing so that you can be grossed out by them is pretty fucking homophobic.

      1. JustDucky

        Greetings from the department of Internet Distribution! We are pleased to inform you that you have just won one Internet! Your internet will be delivered within five to seven business days. Congratulations! And thank you for playing.

      2. bunivasal

        And you knew that, because he told you. You knew going into that partnership that he was gay, and that there was a chance that when you were changing, he might be paying attention. He was up front and honest with you, which is exactly what I was advocating for in the first place.

  44. chris73

    Forget Ethan and Amber, I suspect the main events going to feature Sarah and Joyce

    1. ironbillie

      $10 on Billie and Ruth.

    2. saltchocolate

      I was wondering about that! But Joyce didn’t seem to be in destroy-mode when she left, like Amber is.

      1. ironbillie

        Looks more like she need to take a shit

      2. chris73

        I’m thinking Sarah would be pretty angry after embarrassing herself in front of Jacob especially after she told Joyce its a bad idea to go out with Ethan

      3. Ourorboros

        Joyce is sheepish.

  45. Jordan

    Well isn’t this interesting… Sarah isn’t openly hostile and actually may be having semi-normal human interactions… Despite how Joyce put it when she met Jacob, he and Sarah might have a shot as a couple 🙂

    Assuming Sarah can get out of her shell and Jacob feels inclined to help her with that.

  46. andmangrewproud

    I’m just picturing if this was animated, the last frame would be a shot of Ethan sitting there looking confused, then pan left to Amber and he yelps in a high pitched voice.

  47. LordPants

    Oh look, the Dorothy clone is going to take out her horrible day on someone. Circle of life.

  48. NoHeart

    RUN! RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN!

  49. Jammy

    Shenanigans are afoot

    1. ironbillie

      ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

    2. The Phantom's Belch

      Lemme give you a hand with that.

  50. Gottawonder

    Having done stupid things and embarrassed myself in a similar way:
    I’m guessing that Jacob did pick up on Sarah’s comment and ducked it for one of three reasons:
    He honestly thinks she’s joking.
    He isn’t interested, so trying to ‘let her down easy’.
    He just totally missed that she was not joking.

    However, when I did it, I did manage to laugh it off, not pour salt in the wound by saying “Bye-bye forever”. I did hide for about a week.

    As for Joyce, I think maybe she has enough awareness to know that Sarah is ‘fleeing’ the scene and is going to try to help her. And she may see Amber making a bee line for Ethan and decide it’s time to vacate the premise’s. I could be giving her too much credit, but….

    Joe, well he’s being Joe, fun’s over, girl’s leaving, time to go.

    Jacob, he just stopped by to say hi anyway, and things are breaking up, so he’s on his way.

    As for Ethan: his ass is grass, and Amber is the lawnmower.

    1. Ourorboros

      Nope, Joyce doesn’t have that kind of awareness. Just escaping a possibly revelatory scene.
      She is also jealous of Amber, Ethan’s ex, as ridiculous as it is.

      Speaking as a guy, we can be clueless when we aren’t looking. Women search for more meaning behind every word and action. It’s not always there.

      1. Heavensrun

        Speaking as a guy, please don’t speak for our entire gender, because you don’t represent all of us.

        As for Joyce, look at the smile in Panel 2, and the shit-eating grin and poppy eyebrows in panel 3. She has picked up on Sarah’s crush and is -elated- about it. I guarantee you. She’s not even -thinking- about the Ethan situation at this point.

    2. Ourorboros

      I think she might explain herself to Sarah, give the warning Sarah gave her. Remember the truth of this must be hidden from Dorothy, lest Joyce lose that friendship.
      Burdening Sarah again.

  51. Aakriti

    Amber is going to give Ethan the smackdown of his life. And he deserves it. But I think, with everything that’s going on with her and Danny, she’ll probably yell her guts out just to feel better. Wouldn’t want to be Ethan right about now!

  52. Keroshino

    YOU’RE DEAD, SON! YOU’RE MOTHERFUCKING DEAD, ETHAN!

    1. ninja_jesus

      I WIN!

      MY WIN!

      DAVID WINS! AMBER WINS! ETHAN WINS!

  53. OmegaDez

    Aw. That sad moment when everyone but me left the table back in college… Those were boring afternoons all right.

    1. John

      I’m sure Ethan’s afternoon here is going to be boring…
      :shiftyeyes:

    2. Just Cheeto Dust

      See, I took my food to go so I had something to do in traffic on the way to Disney World or Universal Studios. Because you shouldn’t be drunk for amusement park rides on an empty stomach.

  54. John

    I wanna give Sarah a hug.

    1. Bill

      I wanna give Joyce a hug … or two or three.

  55. Heavensrun

    KARMA. GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS KARMA.

  56. Rani

    FUCK EVERYONE.

    Amen.

    1. Alex Stritar

      Ethan is everyone now? Well, I guess we have a little Ethan in us all.

      1. Rani

        Everyone sucks. I’m angry at everyone.

        Especially you.

  57. Zaxares

    Panel 7:

    Joe: “Wait, it’s not a sausagefest anymore! Woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoop.” *sidles back*

  58. Sir Robin

    Well, now it seems Ethan is going to get his ass kicked and there is only one thing to do

    *Grabs the Popcorn*

  59. DJTsurugi

    OMG I had a feeling it was this Joyce!

  60. Arkantos

    Quit this passive-aggressive glaring bullsh*t and KICK HIS ASS!

    1. David Willis

      Lynch the gay dude!

      That’ll teach him not to… hide his…sexual identity….

      1. Rani

        Arkantos: 0
        Willis: Undefeated.

        1. Keroshino

          You Can’t defeat Willis Man!

      2. Heavensrun

        Surely Arm-punchings are more reasonable?

      3. begbert2

        I think Ethan is cruising for a bruising, and not specifically because he’s gay – but because he’s deliberately antagonized Amber. That kiss-glare he shot her was basically saying “please, come inform me what you think of me, in less than perfectly polite terms.”

        And personally, if I was going to pick somebody to antagonize, it probably wouldn’t be the person who vents their frustrations by going out and beating on people they think are in the wrong.

      4. Arkantos

        Jesus Christ, I’m not saying he needs to DIE, first of all. Second, my desire for her to kick his ass has nothing to do with him being gay. It has to do with the fact that he was a complete dick earlier.

        1. Arkantos

          P. S. The comment was more of a reference to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Abridged than anything else.

  61. Jack Finch

    I wanna cross the streams between Amber’s burning glare at Ethan and Sal’s previous burning glare at Walky. Just to see what happens (total protonic reversal)

  62. CianM1301

    Ethan, you done goofed.

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      This is how Joyce quotes “Menace II Society.”

  63. Makkabee

    Could be worse, Ethan. You could have Amazi-Girl mad at you.

    1. Mr K

      Faz doesn’t even know Ethan.

  64. Crumplepunch

    SUDDENLY EYEBROWS

    And then they’re gone again.

  65. Just Cheeto Dust

    First panel reminds me of “Fabulous Secret Powers.”

  66. Aeyt

    QC is my first read every day. I feel kinda ashamed that I didn’t realize that the Joyce in the yelling bird strip was this Joyce…

    1. Romanticide

      It happens XD I do find myself asking if it was Roomies Joyce the one that made the question or this one XD

  67. All Else Fails

    What, Amber? He did as you asked. What’s wrong?

  68. Brando

    Damn that’s gotta sting. . . Poor Sarah.
    And yeah I think Jacob is clueless.

  69. agentksilver

    SARAH AND JACOB ARE BOTH PRE-LAW AND WEAR PURPLE

    THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER

  70. Dara

    Personally, I think Amber should mind her own damn business. I can understand her being angry, but Ethan’s sexuality, how he decides to express it (or not express it), and whatever kind of relationships he gets into are all HIS affair and have fuckall to do with her.

    1. Gravanotorious

      My thoughts exactly.

    2. Heavensrun

      Yeeeah, I gotta call bullshit on that. Not only is she his -friend-, and thereby justified in meddling if she thinks he’s hurting himself, his actions are HARMFUL TO JOYCE. He’s basically knowingly stringing her along because he’s in denial about his own sexuality. And considering that it was firmly implied that their summer basically consisted of -her- fighting -his- family to get them to accept that he’s gay, after he ended their relationship on the night of their senior prom, this is absolutely a very personal betrayal of her trust.

      On top of that, while Amber doesn’t know this part, his behavior with Jocelyn/Joshua was rrrreeprehensible, and shows that not only can he -not- deny his sexuality for the sake of his relationship with Joyce, he isn’t even really -trying-.

      1. Heavensrun

        (That’s Amber fighting Ethan’s family, not Joyce. I realized after posting that it reads a bit confusing.)

        1. Dara

          Still not up to Amber to make a call on, though. “Being friends” isn’t really a good reason to blast past people’s boundaries to “fix” things “for their own good.” She’s already given her opinion on this shit once after that, she should let Ethan do whatever he chooses to do, even if it means letting him fuck up royally.

          Ethan’s an adult; whether he takes her advice or not is up to him. I can’t really call it being a friend to rely on intimidation to try to make Ethan do what she wants him to do, regardless of whether it’s the ‘right’ thing. Telling him “I don’t agree with this Thing you’re doing and think it’s wrong and unfair to Joyce” is one thing.

          “I’m going to butt in to glare/argue/make you feel uncomfortable every time I see you doing Thing even though I may not be aware of any changes/communication about Thing you’ve had with the person who’s actually involved in Thing” is a different matter, and it’s being a dick more than being a friend.

        2. Heavensrun

          Excuse me, she waited until he was alone to “butt in”. That’s not butting in, though it is a confrontation. And as you mentioned, she isn’t aware of any changes to “Thing”. Last time she talked to him about it, he said he was going to -stop- “Thing”, so not only is he stringing along an innocent girl as far as she knows, he also -lied to her about stopping-. Just because -you- know otherwise doesn’t mean that her reaction isn’t still reasonable given what she knows. (honestly, I’d still argue that it’s reasonable given what she doesn’t, but I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I have very little sympathy for Ethan right now.)

      2. David Willis

        not sure if ethan is really stringing joyce along if she’s knowingly in on it

        1. begbert2

          Amber doesn’t know that though.

        2. David Willis

          I was addressing Heavensrun, who presumably does.

        3. John

          Isn’t he? Yeah, he finally told Joyce that he’s gay, after Amber brow-beat him into it, but, given the way he was eyeing Joshua* yesterday, it’s pretty apparent that the new basis of their relationship, that he’s going to convert to straight with her help, is also a lie, and I don’t think he’s let her in on that little detail.

          * (Using her birth name because Ethan didn’t yet know and it’s kind of relevant that he was seeing her as a guy.)

        4. Heavensrun

          Well, you’re the creator, so I’d defer to your opinion on this, but to clarify my perspective, I get the impression from Ethan’s behavior that he is, at least on some level, aware of the fact that he doesn’t really want to kiss Joyce, and that he has absolutely no self control when it comes to wanting to kiss, say, her brother.

          Joyce, on the other hand, is not living in conflict with her hormones. She tries not to act on them, but society does not demand that she reject them outright. Also she’s lived her life in a bubble of people who have told her that homosexuality is a choice that can be overcome if you just believe in God enough.

          In other words, the impression I’ve gotten from Ethan’s behavior is that he pretty much knows, at least better than Joyce does, that this isn’t going to work. And the fact that he isn’t ending it because that would be uncomfortable is the definition of stringing along.

          I was a fair bit more sympathetic before the Joshua/Jocelyn thing. I mean, I can forgive the hormones, that’s a normal response for a horny possibly-still-a-teenager. (How old is Ethan again?) But it really should’ve been a wake-up call for him, but he doesn’t seem to have taken -anything- from the experience. (Not even “Maybe of all the guys to hit on, my girlfriend’s brother isn’t the one to start with”.)

        5. Alexis

          Well shit I’d hope you of all people should be able to figure it out.

      3. John

        Hell, her yesterday consisted of her fighting his family to get them to accept that he’s gay, while he spinelessly caved.

        (… along with punching her father, having her new boyfriend accidentally dump her, and talking to Mike. Amber’s had a pretty crappy couple of days here.)

        1. Alex Stritar

          Yeah, she has been dealing with quite a lot. I feel bad for the next person on campus who engages in petty vandalism.

  71. Plume

    Oh man that face, the face that the criminal underworld around the campus have come to fear, that face is now looking directly at Ethan! A serious beat down may be in someone’s immediate future.

  72. begbert2

    Five minutes later Joyce returns – and all that remains is a scorch mark and half a table.

  73. man in black

    great page

    1. Keroshino

      Is that all you ever say?

      1. LiaHansen

        It’s weird, whenever I see these comments, they’re right at the bottom. Like he just posts “great page” and everybody else just stops commenting for a few hours.

        1. Bill

          Usually, by this late in the afternoon pretty everything that is going to be said has been said and we’re all just marking time until the new strip gets posted.

  74. tunasammich

    Sarah is so cute, I want her and Jacob to be law school husband and wife and then have their small practice law firm billboards together on the highway

  75. Henry

    “I have to be… anywhere else.”

    On the side note, Joyce’s expression in panel three is adorable.

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