To be fair my church won at least a few new members when they started offering a gluten free bread option for communion. (Though we’re one of the sects that doesn’t believe that the food literally transforms into the body and blood of Christ, that’s mostly a Catholic and Orthodox thing (and kind of Lutherans)
Pretty sure Lutherans are also “Real Presence” or something similar. Definitely not full transubstantiation; Luther explicitly came out against that.
Obdormio
Yep, Lutherans believe in sacramental union: the real presence of Christ “in, with and under the forms of the bread and wine”. So not that the bread is transformed, but that it is both bread and Christ at the same time in the Eucharist.
marianne
Schrödinger’s Christ?
Tacos
Don’t get any of that GMO Jesus Blood. It taste weird.
Alcohol isn’t a great sanitizer but saliva is also somewhat antiseptic itself, so transferring living stuff from saliva to alcohol back to someone elses’ saliva is a pretty low % event.
Chris Phoenix
Um… I’ll spare the horrific details, but fundamentalist practitioners of a mainstream religion sometimes give male babies herpes with their mouths while performing one of their rituals exactly as prescribed by the sect. Sometimes babies die from this.
(Christian Scientist kids die for their parents’ beliefs too, and so do the children of anti-vaxxers, so I’m not trying to pick on one (or even any) religion. But this is the one that’s caused by contaminated saliva.)
I forgot to add my second, nearly as pressing question. “Why the fuck didn’t somebody stop the nutbag from my first question?”
Deathjavu
Low % doesn’t mean impossible…it just means you have to have something really nasty that can survive the saliva, the metal cup and the wine. Which…usually you know if you have something really nasty.
If you know and you don’t care, that’s a totally different, awful problem.
Eh, at my family’s Catholic church, the protest would wipe the edge of the cup with a sanitizing wipe and turn it slightly between people, so by the time a person’s lips actually touch the same part as someone who had been before them, it was basically clean. So alcoholics sanitization properties a moot point, anyway.
Kryss LaBryn
My family’s Anglican church did that as well. Also, the priest said, if the gold or silver of the goblet is pure enough, it’s toxic to most germs, so there’s scientific as well as religious reasons to have high-quality metal.
Alan Lafond
At my Catholic church, it used to be done that way, but they have now swiched to dipping the host into the wine, then serving the host on the tongue. This completely removes any chance of any germs being passed from one person to the next.
Thulcandran
We were trained to do that, too. It’s one of the main cloths that gets folded into the altar every Saturday evening – the purificator. You wipe the rim, then give the goblet a quarter-turn, which is at best a placebo unless your church has only four-eight people in it, but ya know, whatever.
Also, Joyce at an Episcopal church is everything I never knew I wanted, and also giving me pleasant flashbacks of the first time I went into one.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Becky is doing a lot of research on churches these days, hoping to find one that she feels comfortable in and that accepts lesbians.
Deathjavu
This was my guess too. I could definitely see her going to Jacob’s church again.
Marsh Maryrose
This reminds me of Maria Burnham’s quest to find a gay-friendly, Jesus-centered church in her new neighborhood. Her take on what appears to be an Episcopalian church: “I thought you said it wasn’t Catholic? It sure feels like it.”
Because when Toedad started talking about pulling becky out of college she researched other churches to see if there was one that would accept her as a lesbian.
ya know, I’m a bit mixed about the idea of churches advertising on their websites or wherever, “YO, we totes serve REAL alcohol for communion!! GF wafers available too!!”
(just saying this never occurred to me, but then I haven’t researched any b/c Church of Carla doesn’t need advertising)
Stella
Ha, church websites are notoriously *the worst*. I love my current Episcopalian church, which I discovered through a website called gaychurch.org , but from the church’s website would you have known their beliefs about important issues? Not really. Would you have known that they have gluten-free and alcohol-free eucharist options? You betcha.
I was at Denny’s a few hours ago, looking at the menu and wondering what the big orange “GF” next to some items was for. It only just clicked that it means “gluten free”. Maybe not the wildest of revelations, but I was staring at the letters in confusion for like 15 minutes.
Honestly, and this might just be the Catholic in me, the fact that Joyce is the only one with her hands not folded, when we know she does so in prayer normally, is kind of bugging me.
Keep in mind that Joyce would consider you disrespectful simply for being Catholic…
Zerodime
Which I find ironic as I as an ex-catholic, alwaays thought that catholicism was closer to jesus than evangelism/protestant which was “after” and “a part of” catholicism.
thejeff
In theory, according to the protestants, they’re a return to the original intent after it was corrupted into Catholicism.
I’m sure every denomination thinks their way is closer to Jesus. If they didn’t, why would they do it that way.
She’s not praying; she’s lurking. There’s different protocols for lurking.
And honestly if I were you I’d be more worried about how she’s shouting at people. Shouting at people, which highly respectful, can be a tad disruptive.
…yeah, I certainly wouldn’t want Carol finding out if I were Joyce. Hank’d be cool with it I feel, because Hank seems to be pretty cool, but he wouldn’t keep this a secret from Carol, and Carol is Carol.
Discussion (369) - “Kneel”
Ana Chronistic
There could be… COOTIES in there! SO GROSS
straight up, how does Becky know and Joyce doesn’t tho
Gwen
Alcohol isn’t actually that good of a sanitizer, but that’s not really the salient point for eucharist.
shadowcell
excuse me but i will put only the cleanest, freshest, most locally-sourced and organic Jesus blood into my body thank you very much
Doctor_Who
Is it free-range Jesus blood?
Plasma Mongoose
As opposed to caged Jesus blood?
Delicious Taffy
And now I’m imagining Jesus as a character in Deadman Wonderland. I wonder what his Branch of Sin would be…
CoMa
Isn’t that obvious?…
Well, okay, not really, but I bet it would be something with thorns. Probably shield-like (à la pacifist)…
FacelessDeviant
*Passes out pamphlets for PETD, People for Ethical Treatment of Deities*
Roborat
Oh, I thought you were going for “Deadies”, not “Deities”.
FacelessDeviant
Our sister organization.
Ravian
To be fair my church won at least a few new members when they started offering a gluten free bread option for communion. (Though we’re one of the sects that doesn’t believe that the food literally transforms into the body and blood of Christ, that’s mostly a Catholic and Orthodox thing (and kind of Lutherans)
NubeTrasnochada
http://infallible-catholic.blogspot.mx/2012/04/eucharistic-miracle-of-lanciano-italy.html?m=1
This didn’t help to discourage the idea.
Delavan
Pretty sure Lutherans are also “Real Presence” or something similar. Definitely not full transubstantiation; Luther explicitly came out against that.
Obdormio
Yep, Lutherans believe in sacramental union: the real presence of Christ “in, with and under the forms of the bread and wine”. So not that the bread is transformed, but that it is both bread and Christ at the same time in the Eucharist.
marianne
Schrödinger’s Christ?
Tacos
Don’t get any of that GMO Jesus Blood. It taste weird.
Remmington Steele
It’s not even a decent Bordeaux FFS
Deathjavu
Alcohol isn’t a great sanitizer but saliva is also somewhat antiseptic itself, so transferring living stuff from saliva to alcohol back to someone elses’ saliva is a pretty low % event.
Chris Phoenix
Um… I’ll spare the horrific details, but fundamentalist practitioners of a mainstream religion sometimes give male babies herpes with their mouths while performing one of their rituals exactly as prescribed by the sect. Sometimes babies die from this.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/baby-dies-herpes-virus-ritual-circumcision-nyc-orthodox/story?id=15888618
(Christian Scientist kids die for their parents’ beliefs too, and so do the children of anti-vaxxers, so I’m not trying to pick on one (or even any) religion. But this is the one that’s caused by contaminated saliva.)
Delicious Taffy
Yeah… I’ve heard of this one, and it brings to mind several questions.
Chief among them is “Who the fuck decided that it was a good idea to fellate an infant, for literally any reason at all?”
Delicious Taffy
I forgot to add my second, nearly as pressing question. “Why the fuck didn’t somebody stop the nutbag from my first question?”
Deathjavu
Low % doesn’t mean impossible…it just means you have to have something really nasty that can survive the saliva, the metal cup and the wine. Which…usually you know if you have something really nasty.
If you know and you don’t care, that’s a totally different, awful problem.
A Scientist
And it’s certainly not great in as low of concentrations as there is in church wine.
thejeff
Yeah. If you’re passing around a cup of vodka, that’s a different story.
HeySo
I feel like that’d improve the church experience on several fronts.
ObiKemnebi
Eh, at my family’s Catholic church, the protest would wipe the edge of the cup with a sanitizing wipe and turn it slightly between people, so by the time a person’s lips actually touch the same part as someone who had been before them, it was basically clean. So alcoholics sanitization properties a moot point, anyway.
Kryss LaBryn
My family’s Anglican church did that as well. Also, the priest said, if the gold or silver of the goblet is pure enough, it’s toxic to most germs, so there’s scientific as well as religious reasons to have high-quality metal.
Alan Lafond
At my Catholic church, it used to be done that way, but they have now swiched to dipping the host into the wine, then serving the host on the tongue. This completely removes any chance of any germs being passed from one person to the next.
Thulcandran
We were trained to do that, too. It’s one of the main cloths that gets folded into the altar every Saturday evening – the purificator. You wipe the rim, then give the goblet a quarter-turn, which is at best a placebo unless your church has only four-eight people in it, but ya know, whatever.
Also, Joyce at an Episcopal church is everything I never knew I wanted, and also giving me pleasant flashbacks of the first time I went into one.
Kernanator
Because I guess Joyce assumes all churches do the things her church does until told otherwise, whereas Becky actually bothers to research this stuff.
Pablo360
Imagine, doing research into *gasp* how people other than you do things and understand/interact with the world! THE HORROR, THE HORROR
tim gueguen
I wouldn’t be surprised if Becky is doing a lot of research on churches these days, hoping to find one that she feels comfortable in and that accepts lesbians.
Deathjavu
This was my guess too. I could definitely see her going to Jacob’s church again.
Marsh Maryrose
This reminds me of Maria Burnham’s
quest to find a gay-friendly, Jesus-centered church in her new neighborhood. Her take on what appears to be an Episcopalian church: “I thought you said it wasn’t Catholic? It sure feels like it.”
Reltzik
Because Becky isn’t panicking, and has been making a point of studying Science!
…. though probably not much if she thinks that at-most 40 proof wine will act quickly enough to sanitize the cup between sips.
JetstreamGW
… What kind of wine are you drinking that’s 20% ABV? o.O
Reltzik
None. That was erring on the side of high ABV to make the point.
Greg
At my Episcopal church the ‘wine’ is a mix of donated port, so it may well get up to that high of an ABV.
Reltzik
Well, if the priest carries the cup around, you probably want the wine to be port-able.
tyersome
I guess that depends on whether he’s considered a Zinfandel?
Agemegos
Catholic rules allow up to 18% brandy to be added during fermentation so that the wine won’t go sour during trans-port.
Opus the Poet
Because when Toedad started talking about pulling becky out of college she researched other churches to see if there was one that would accept her as a lesbian.
Ana Chronistic
ya know, I’m a bit mixed about the idea of churches advertising on their websites or wherever, “YO, we totes serve REAL alcohol for communion!! GF wafers available too!!”
I mean, whatever brings in the flock, sure!
Ana Chronistic
(just saying this never occurred to me, but then I haven’t researched any b/c Church of Carla doesn’t need advertising)
Stella
Ha, church websites are notoriously *the worst*. I love my current Episcopalian church, which I discovered through a website called gaychurch.org , but from the church’s website would you have known their beliefs about important issues? Not really. Would you have known that they have gluten-free and alcohol-free eucharist options? You betcha.
Delicious Taffy
…Holy fuck.
I was at Denny’s a few hours ago, looking at the menu and wondering what the big orange “GF” next to some items was for. It only just clicked that it means “gluten free”. Maybe not the wildest of revelations, but I was staring at the letters in confusion for like 15 minutes.
JessWitt
Is that canon? Too tired to clarify that.
Lumino
Honestly, and this might just be the Catholic in me, the fact that Joyce is the only one with her hands not folded, when we know she does so in prayer normally, is kind of bugging me.
Disrespectful, Ms. Brown.
Smiling Cat
Keep in mind that Joyce would consider you disrespectful simply for being Catholic…
Zerodime
Which I find ironic as I as an ex-catholic, alwaays thought that catholicism was closer to jesus than evangelism/protestant which was “after” and “a part of” catholicism.
thejeff
In theory, according to the protestants, they’re a return to the original intent after it was corrupted into Catholicism.
I’m sure every denomination thinks their way is closer to Jesus. If they didn’t, why would they do it that way.
begbert2
She’s not praying; she’s lurking. There’s different protocols for lurking.
And honestly if I were you I’d be more worried about how she’s shouting at people. Shouting at people, which highly respectful, can be a tad disruptive.
Stephen Bierce
Pretzel pose, Joyce. Pretzel pose.
Opus the Poet
No there is a religious exemption for under-age drinking
AnvilPro
Nice to see Becky act so calm and collected when Joyce is the one freaking out and acting hyper. They really do balance each other out.
Reltzik
Actually, Joyce, I’m pretty sure that underaged Communion wine is legal.
Pablo360
Yep, although I’ll also add that it’s really nothing to write home about
A Scientist
Our stuff was pretty good, if I do say so myself.
Of course, that was my unrefined middle school palate talking.
Lumino
Always thought it tasted like cough syrup.
thejeff
In Joyce’s case, I’d say it’s something to explicitly avoid writing home about.
Pablo360
…yeah, I certainly wouldn’t want Carol finding out if I were Joyce. Hank’d be cool with it I feel, because Hank seems to be pretty cool, but he wouldn’t keep this a secret from Carol, and Carol is Carol.
brionl
Now I’m thinking Underaged Communion Wine would be a great name for a band.
JessWitt
A Christian band? *waggles eyebrows*
Dusk Rain
My sister and I just spent five minutes giggling at this so thank you.
BBCC
Depends on the state. Some make exemptions for Communion.
BBCC
Wait, shit, I thought you said illegal.
Pat
It’s such a small amount that they don’t really have to.
Sunny
Wouldn’t it be mostly grape juice if it hasn’t aged?
Nono
ALCOHOL VS COOTIES: FIGHT
Cephalo the Pod
Followed by KNEELING BEFORE GOD versus bowing to God’s wrath.
King Daniel
So this guy’s gonna get a tag, right
Marsh Maryrose
My first three brain autocompletions for “The Revererend ____” were:
William Barber
Al Sharpton
Ivan Stang