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Wooing arts
Posted on September 11, 2017 by David M Willis
Speaking of the wooing arts... I guess my next Slipshine story is up!  Six days ago!  And I found out because I got a Tumblr ask saying, oh, hey, I read it and it was cool, and I was like, wait, what, and there it was, and so I guess I'm telling you "Keep It Clean" is on Slipshine now where members can read it.  The first page is to the left, and it's a pretty good introduction to the following thirteen pages.

234 thoughts on “Wooing arts”

  1. Architex

    Joyce would love to be tall, hence the shower shoes.

    1. Dean

      The shower shoes are more to do with her unwillingness to touch the shower floor, I think.

      1. Architex

        Ruttech Shower Jug Clogs
        Grants wearer immunity to communal shower floor nastiness
        Bonus: 5% Boost to self-confidence associated with height

        1. Needfuldoer

          They only cost 1000 Meat in the Mall of Loathing! That’s not bad for +5 Moxie.

  2. DailyBrad

    Jacob kinda has that effect on people, doesn’t he.

    1. jeffepp

      He’s certainly having that effect on… Sarah. Yeah, it’s Sarah that’s effected. Totally.

    2. Nono

      Sal hasn’t met Jacob, has she? I imagine he’d be right up her alley, physically.

    3. miados

      what effect? like um…… wanting to get him to break up with his girlfriend effect? that seems like a bad effect to have on people

      1. zoelogical

        the immediate attraction affect

        obviously he’s the protagonist of a dating sim

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          The bad ending is letting Joyce think they’re dating when they really aren’t. It leads to Ruth dying in a traffic accident.

        2. miados

          that ending sounds a little ruthless.

        3. smparadox

          Cue rimshot!

        4. Khantalas

          I heard someone say dating sim.

        5. zoelogical

          wow, you totally did!!!

          lol datable characters i’m picturing: Raidah, Sarah, Joyce, Sal, Mike, Carla, Sayid, Sierra, and Amber.

    4. Deanatay

      Joyce: You know, Jacob, if you’re really looking for a serious relationship, you should… maybe… stop looking like every woman’s casual sex dream.

      Jacob: Really? Huh… Maybe if I dressed more like a nerd… *puts on glasses, polo shirt, messes up hair* How’s that?

      Joyce: …

      Jacob: …Joyce?

      Joyce: (trembling) … You… make it worse…

  3. Citizen Ant

    Oh MAN, is that ‘ship gonna hit an iceberg!

    1. TachyonCode

      Probably true, but I must ask… when did Joyce get funny?

  4. butts

    i think sarah would rather one of Jacob’s parts disappeared into her, if you catch my drift

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Yes, he needs her hands to sink into her neck so that she may grow her finger collection!!!

    2. Emperor Norton II

      This is one of those times where you wish you had an avatar that would really help make your point even more obvious, isn’t it?

      [/inside joke]

  5. Yumi

    Akin to nothing, unless you saw my comment near the bottom of the comments on yesterday’s comic, I have a date on Friday and hahhahahhaahah I’mfreakingoutalittlebutinagoodway

    1. Sara Hysaro

      I wish you the best of luck with your date! 🙂

    2. vlademir1

      Congrats.

    3. BBCC

      Have fun!

    4. Delicious Taffy

      Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

    5. Yumi

      Thanks all. I’ve never been on a date before, so I’m telling myself that even if it goes horribly, at least I’ll have been on a date.

      1. Chered

        Great attitude! Good luck!

      2. Emperor Norton II

        I never pursued a romantic relationship through conventional dates* myself. The only times I’ve been on such dates is with my wife, after we got married.

        *Of course, in Norway, it’s actually rather likely that one starts a relationship by hooking up, -then- start hanging out together**.

        **But I never did it like that either, because I’m a geek, so I always started online.

        1. Jon Rich

          You live in Norway, but your screen name is a reference to a man not widely known outside of San Francisco?

          You are truly a citizen of the world.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          OK, so here goes:

          1: Norway loves reading comics. LOVES IT. Like, our three best-selling comics will easily reach the monthly Top 20 best-selling comics lists in USA. Since Norway has five million people and USA has 330 million people, that says it all.

          2: Neil Gaiman made a Sandman story about Joshua Norton.

          3: Neil Gaiman made this story in comic book form.

          Enough said.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Also, I no longer live in Norway. I was born in Norway and spent my first 32 years there, but then I moved to USA.

          Because I found someone online. That I ended up marrying. Been married for five years now, and loving every second of it.

        4. Yumi

          I have to say, this drastically changes the voice I hear your comments in.

        5. thejeff

          The Emperor now being Sierra drastically changes the voice I hear his comments in.

        6. Emperor Norton II

          Sierra or Jacob, I’m sure it sounds awesome either way.

        7. Emperor Norton II

          As long as you don’t think I sound like rally car racer Petter Solberg. My accent is -not- as thick and horrible as that.

        8. ditrysia

          I was hoping it was a Sandman reference, it’s nice to have it confirmed. Cool username.

        9. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          I don’t think that’s just a Norway thing – the hooking up leading to a relationship thing, I mean. That’s basically how my wife (of over a decade) and I first got together. Just goes to show, that whole “no sex on a first date” thing is kinda crap.

      3. ditrysia

        Good luck!! And kudos for doing something new.

    6. adjudicus

      Good luck for your date!

  6. ValdVin

    Suspiciously specific and thorough descriptions, Joyce.

  7. Ubertenorman

    Joe, that was kinda dickish.

    1. Nono

      He’s not wrong in that breaking up a happy couple just because your friend likes one of them is not cool.

    2. TemporalShrew

      In light of the fact that Joyce is shipping/actually transparent crushing so aggressively she’s willing to ruin someone’s relationship, I’d say it’s only proportionately dickish.

    3. Fart Captor

      No, Joe is very correct for once.

      1. Ferret

        I wouldn’t call it “for once,” Joe actually has a track record of understanding and respecting interpersonal relationships, he’s just really shitty at respecting people.

        1. Meta

          Well no… Joe often has “well, he has a point” moments, but he almost always puts a fucked up spin on the issue. Here, he’s more or less just right, though Joyce is right about his comparison being a false equivalency.

        2. Fart Captor

          Ii would count “being really shitty at respecting people” as being wrong, and kindof a big deal. This may not have literally been the ONLY time Joe was right about something, but my “for once” still applies due to the rarity of such occurrences.

          Hopefully there will be more in the future, because this is an area where Joyce is headed into some bad territory and he’s in a position to steer her away

    4. Spencer

      Joe is trying to convince Joyce not to ruin someone’s relationship how is that dickish.

    5. Beef

      Joe’s not being a dick at all. He’s seeing some very problematic behavior from Joyce and he’s calling her out on it. Just because he fucked up (big time) doesn’t mean he has to keep his mouth shut when he sees something terrible happening

    6. butts

      Of all the dickish things Joe has done, this is… not one of them.

      1. Spencer

        Joe hasn’t actually had a lot of experience with dicks tho.

        1. Khyrin

          More accurately, he has a LOT of experience with one particular ‘unit’ (at least 15 years of use!), but his experience isn’t broad within that model.

          It’s a deep pool, but it’s not very large.

        2. MatthewTheLucky

          Ha!

      2. FLUFFYWOLF

        Shit, it’s downright reasonable and empathetic.

    7. dethtoll

      That’s true like something that isn’t true at all. It’s nice that Joyce wants to play matchmaker for her friend, but breaking up a pre-existing relationship is just monstrous. And it’d create some mega-unnecessary drama given the history Sarah and Raidah already have.

  8. nobodybasically

    Jacob’s biceps may each be the size of her entire torso, but his feet are probably super tiny and pointy and his eyes will gradually lose all detail as he succumbs to Youngblood’s disease.

    1. Keulen

      I’m pretty sure Jacob has not been drawn by Rob Liefeld, fortunately.

    2. Dean

      So far, Jacob has shown no sign of excessive pouches. He may be safe.

    3. Needfuldoer

      This is why you don’t skip leg day. You end up all topheavy.

    4. Mortartarsaus

      I’m like 32% sure that Joyce isn’t talking about Jacob but the Gen 7 Ultra Beast, Buzzwole. The other 68% of me feels like I’ve been too into Pokemon recently

  9. Nono

    Joyce would have asked Billie first, but she’s seen first-hand that Billie’s wooing basically starts by drinking lots of beer. And then continuing with lots of beer.

    1. Skater Girl

      It’s a (not so) surprisingly effective method.

      1. Pat

        …is it?

        She tried to woo Danny and it. uh. didn’t work.
        She didn’t exactly pursue Ruth.

        1. ValdVin

          Danny was already (on the way to being) involved, so that’s not really a slight on her rather straightforward offer. And was Billie drinking when that happened? I literally don’t remember.

          Now I’m curious about the circumstances around her getting with Alice.

    2. Beachfox

      You save the suicide pact for your second date. You don’t want them to think you’re easy.

  10. TheAnonymousGuy

    That moment you realize Joyce is wearing the sweater from the party where Ryan tried to assault her.

    1. Yumi

      That moment when you

      1. Yumi

        Well, fuck.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/flesh/

      2. TheAnonymousGuy

        I’ve heard it both ways, also that’s no the point, Joyce is wearing the sweater that went week unwashed with her attackers blood on it.

        1. Yumi

          …the rest off my comment didn’t post. Thus the following comment. I had nothing to say about your phrasing.

        2. TheAnonymousGuy

          sorry, it showed up after I commented

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      I mean, it’s not really subtle. We had a whole strip where Joyce found the sweater and explicitly stated her desire to wear it despite its bloody history.

      1. TheAnonymousGuy

        I wasn’t aware of that page, I must have missed one. Also how do you just decide “oh, the sweater I wore that night I got attacked with my attackers month old blood stain on it, i’d just love to wear it again so I think I’ll wash it and put it on”. Seriously, she didn’t even want look at it when Becky pulled it out the closet that one time.

        1. Yumi

          Ryan wasn’t in the hospital then, so it’s kind of a different situation.

        2. TheAnonymousGuy

          that’s not how it works, that sweater is permanently stained (metaphorically) by the memory of that night, and if mental memory isn’t enough given the affect of the drugs, the physical stain of Ryan’s blood is a constant reminder that, yes, this actually happened.

        3. Yumi

          It happened and she got through it. It happened and she’s now in a place where she feels stronger. Maybe don’t presume it works the same for everyone all the time before saying “that’s not how it works.” Things that are triggers don’t always stay triggers forever.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          I’ll just let a survivor speak of how it feels to reclaim something that’s been tainted by people like Gashface: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/flesh/#comment-1269803

          I mean, true, it’s not the same for everyone, like Yumi just said. But it is possible, and you never quite know -what- will help you get through. And as for Joyce, we already know she’s been reclaiming things like going outside alone again; which was one of her -huge- triggers. To reclaim that sweater therefore seems to be to be a natural continuation of that path.

        5. thejeff

          Perhaps you could go back a couple of strips to the one you missed and see what she said?

        6. butting

          How?

          At a guess? By punching out Toedad, by defending Becky against her own culture, by learning the value of unexpected allies like Jocelyne, by hearing that her attacker is under arrest in hospital, and by turning a problematic sleazebag like Joe into an ally.

          She is mighty. Just needs to learn the lesson that Joe’s trying to give her in return right now, is all…

    3. miados

      they specifically talked about it a few comics ago. wearing the skin of my enemy. or as close as she could do.

  11. Gkheyf

    Cuz sarah is a good person, and therefore raidah is irrelevant, and i’m a good person, therefore everything that i do is justified, and…

    Please, Joyce. Self-reflection cgkan come in handy

    1. Nono

      I mean, remember when she was convinced that Billie would dump her (at that point unknown) boyfriend and realize that she and Walky were meant to be together?

    2. Adept Arcanist

      Unfortunately, for all her personal development Joyce still has the perspective on love of a rom-com protagonist. 😛

    3. VeryCreativeUsername

      NO! Self-Reflection makes you think about your own flaws!
      EVIL!

      1. ruhruw

        Apt avatar…

  12. Keulen

    Am I alone in thinking that Joyce has a crush on Jacob and just hasn’t realized it yet?

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Not at all. The comic has all but made it clear (albeit in just one strip).

    2. Spencer

      I’ve seen dying men in the desert less thirsty than Joyce.

      1. Khantalas

        Why do you hang out around dying men in deserts what’s wrong with you.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      I think that at this point, the only in-universe person who knows them both and doesn’t realize that Joyce has a crush on Jacob, is Joyce.

      Ever since she and Sarah crashed Joe and Jacob’s boys’ night out, I’ve been opining how perfect she and Jacob are for each other. I’m not actually shipping them because the Willis giveth and the Willis — DAMN YOU WILLIS! But I can certainly see them dating.

      Of course, given Jacob’s current status with Raidah, that seems unlikely in the near future, and by that I mean not until Joyce’s sophomore year. So unless something really interesting happens in the current storyline, not until Zach or Chase take over for their retired father in 30 years.

      1. Spencer

        Maybe Raidah is perfect for him and that’s what we’ll learn.

      2. Architex

        Your long-term projection is a bit off, as you should be thinking of that event occurring some time close to the heat death of the universe.

    4. Bagge

      Sarah certainly thinks so, that’s her whole plan. And if Joyce continues to believe that she is seducing Jacob “for Sarah”… well, whatever gets the job done.

    5. miados

      either that or she is realizing what physical aspects she finds attractive in someone more than she used to.

      1. Gesc

        Ethan is also taller and somewhat physically imposing. Methinks Joyce has a type.

        Me also thinks she’s just platonicaly checking Jacob out. No feelings involved.

        1. Knayt

          Considering her disastrous date with Joe, she’s three for three on this – although Ethan isn’t nearly as muscular as the other two.

        2. Nono

          Given what we’ve seen of him from strips in the boys’ bathroom, I’d say Ethan is definitely up there with Joe. And he’s caught the attention of Joyce, Billie and Sal, so I think he’s pretty up there as far as in-universe attraction goes.

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          Very definitely has a type. We can even see it here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/dark-room/

  13. Shiro

    Oooooh dat alt text

    Joyce’s subconscious is speaking :3

    1. Emperor Norton II

      And if said alt-text was a thought balloon, it probably would have come from a bit further down than her head…

  14. MapleAmber

    Oh gosh, I am so here for this. Come on, Willis, can’t we have three updates a day for a while?! *cries*

    1. MapleAmber

      Who is my avi? Why am I not able to place this image?

      1. Spencer

        It’s Ken. He’s forgettable.

        1. Urukak

          I knew it was someone from Street Fighter!

        2. butts

          I thought his name was Balrog…

        3. Tacos

          No no, it’s M. Bison.

        4. vlademir1

          No that was just the US release, it was M. Bison originally…

      2. VeryCreativeUsername

        Ken was almost relevant somewhere late in Shortpacked!
        I don’t think he has appeared in DoA, yet?

        1. VeryCreativeUsername

          Bo, I don’t want this av!

        2. VeryCreativeUsername

          One more try!

        3. VeryCreativeUsername

          …Why?

        4. VeryCreativeUsername

          Oh, ok, I can work with Amber.

        5. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          The fact that Blowjob Cat comes up as a random avatar makes me very glad that I perma-set myself to Billie.

        6. thejeff

          He has. He works at Galasso’s Pizza (and subs).

          And apparently lives on the guy’s wing, since he’s got a background appearance there.

        7. DinaWho

          In DoA he is one of Becky’s coworkers at Galasso’s and probably an IU student (Sayid also works there and is a student afaik and Sydney’s dialogue indicated she’s also a student, so a substantial number of past and present workers there are).

        8. thejeff

          He’s tagged in a scene in the men’s wing some years back. His only appearance before the recent Galasso’s scene.

  15. Gojira

    Don’t rank men, Joyce.

    1. Spencer

      Unless they’re Sayid. In which case rank away.

    2. miados

      isn’t that what nearly every sports statistic does? rank people? i think it depends on how you rank them

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        I believe the practical upshot is: Don’t rank people as people.

        You can rank them as athletes, businesspeople, chefs, drivers, engineers, or whatever. This practice is just a ranking of things like skill and efficiency in a specific area, and can be useful motivation for self-improvement. (Though it can also have the opposite effect, because brains are a diverse bunch, each with their own awesome quirks.)

        Ranking them as people takes what makes them people and tries to make that into a solid number that defines their value, which is dehumanizing, and therefore wrong. All people should be considered invaluable (The loophole is you can rank them with words that recognize their humanity, like: acquaintance, friend, BFF, love, or partner.)

  16. Stephen Bierce

    *decides against the urges to play another breakup song, or one that uses the Raidah/Rider pun*

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      *Decides to give in the urge to play the *

      1. Cephalo the Pod

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KQKYXLNGhkM

        Mock Raidah theme.
        Damnit, why the fuck is hyperlinking so fucking confusing?

    2. Dean

      ‘Ghost Raidahs in the Sky”

      1. Spencer

        Ghost Raidah the Whip.

  17. Kernanator

    Jacob in Joyce’s imagination is comically top-heavy.

    1. Rambling Idiot

      pootis.

      1. Needfuldoer

        What sick man send babies to fight me?!

    2. Eldritch Gentleman

      To be fair the first time we’ve seen Jacob was when he was training, shirtless, with dumbbells making Ethan super uncomfortable XD Jacob seems to have this effect on people.

    3. thejeff

      That’s only because she hasn’t described his legs yet.
      His hugely muscled thighs, each larger than… Sorry. Got carried away.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Let’s just say that Jacob is not someone who skips leg day.

  18. Spencer

    Oh hey, a second Billie/Ruth slipshine.

    Does this mean they’re breaking up this week?

    1. Pigeon Pollyx

      Oh is that who’s in it? Joyce isn’t just gonna stand there while ruth and billie canoodle in the bathroom stall is she?

      1. Nono

        I think it’s more of a masturbation slipshine? I could be wrong.

        1. Nono

          Nevermind, I actually read the page. Yeah probably Ruth/Billie.

      2. thejeff

        Yup. It’s all from Joyce’s perspective standing outside the shower as she misinterprets the noises and comments she hears. 🙂

  19. Pigeon Pollyx

    joyce ya gotta not do this

  20. Passchendaele

    Joyce’s expression in panel 2 is great, even if Joe does an surprisingly good job of cutting right through it. :p

  21. butting

    This friendship is making me all kinds of happy.

    1. VeryCreativeUsername

      And will most definitely not end in a disaster.

  22. ValdVin

    Joyce’s expression in panel two is…something very appropriate to her statement, and yet unsettling to see at the same time.

    1. Spencer

      Needs a pair of sunglasses.

  23. Spencer

    The reason Danny is quiet in this page is that he is similarly thinking about being cradled in Jacob’s powerful embrace.

    1. Tacos

      I’m sure everybody in this strip has at least once fantasized about that.

      1. Flakky

        Joe was saving himself for Jacob for his debut threesome.

    2. miados

      or he fell asleep in the middle of a ground pound.

      1. Scar Man!!!

        I thought they were playing Super Smash bros

  24. Badgermole

    No Joyce, you should ask Joe for advice if you want to, er, woo Jacob. No one can advise you on how to break him up to set him up with Sarah because that is a thing that should not be done. Also I see what’s happening in this arc- Joyce is modelling unethical interpersonal practices re. objectification and consent and Joe is there to see it and call her out. Clever Willis.

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    Holy crap, Joyce is bicepual.

    1. Joe Covenant

      This pun deserved more kudos than it got… 🙂

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      The new Slipshine must have been more interesting than I was expecting!

  26. Bagge

    Excellent advice in the second panel.

  27. Marsh Maryrose

    Look at Joyce in the first three panels, and try to tell me that Willis couldn’t teach a master class in eyes. And you can’t, because he totally could.

    Also, looking at Joe, Willis could teach a master class in why eyebrows don’t always matter, but when they do matter, they mean the world.

    1. miados

      he couldn’t he is to busy with his children and making this comic and of course slip shine and likely other things to add teaching a class to the mix.

      speculating to an extent but still.

  28. Michael Chandra

    Finger guns! Eh! Go Joe, be the voice of reason!

  29. @zombieundergrnd

    Joyce has to buy donuts now.

  30. Loki

    I love how Joyce wasn’t even finished yet and Joe recognises what she wants to do.

  31. nothri

    No? No, I didn’t read the pornographique. No, I didn’t think it was sweet and kind of heartwarming if a little said. And hot. I didn’t think any of those things since I didn’t read it. Don’t be silly. There is nothing to prove otherwise, certainly not a new gravatar. Anyone says otherwise, they’re a liar.

    1. miados

      I’m still adjusting to my new gravatar. I used to be ethan, but now im a certain teacher instead. I don’t know what prompted the change but oh wait you changed it yourself? nevermind i’m rambling about my unexpected change while you planned yours.

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        Willis uploaded a whole new batch of gravatars about a week ago, replacing the old ones, and forcing a new round of gravatar roulette. I went from being Jacob to being Daisy myself.

        (Nothing against Daisy, but I decided it was time for me to be me.)

        1. miados

          I liked being ethan but i still look for his image when im looking if anyone replied to me. although my new look is cute too.

    2. nothri

      “A little said”. Yeah, what about it. Its a valid sentence. Not a typo. I didn’t mean to say a little SAD. Cause I never make mistakes. Amynone says otherwise is a lyre.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Lyres also tend to harp on and on and on. You don’t want to be near any of them.

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          Also, they’re always going zither and yon. And they often use psaltery language.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Amount of words in your post: 13.

          Amount of words I had to look up because I had never seen them before. 2
          Amount of expressions I’d never seen before and looked up just to make sure my initial guess of what it meant was correct (it was): 1.

          Either my knowledge of musical instruments and archaic expressions is sorely lacking, or your knowledge in said areas is rather impressive.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          I left out references to cimbaloms and dulcimers because I couldn’t come up with a good pun, and I left out “Three’s a crowd” and/or “three’s a crwth” because even veteran RenFaire goers likely wouldn’t have gotten it.

          I may have played cornettos, sackbuts, shawms, crumhorns, and rauschpfeifes at some point in my checkered past. Oh, and racketts.

          I have definitely played a strumento di porco. In a church, no less.

        4. Pablo360

          I would have gotten it, but that’s just because I really like linguistic anomalies such as the two uses of w as a semivowel in English.

          (The other is cwm, which means “circle”, “valley”, or the geological meaning of “cirque”)

    3. Bagge

      I read it! And I think the last panel is gold.

    4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      **reads and looks at Gravatar**
      … yeah, I’m going to be spending my next commission check on 6 months of Slipshine.

  32. bejouled

    How do you blow up the first Slipshine page large enough to actually read it? I’m very curious as to what this set-up is but not actually a member. :-\

    1. Nono

      Go to his main Tumblr.

      1. Yumi

        http://itswalky.tumblr.com/

        if you need the link

    2. Deanatay

      You could just click on it. You don’t have to pay for the first page.

  33. Gesc

    I have serious doubts about Joyce a crush on Jacob if you ask me. Joyce is just another horny teen with fantasies, even if we’re shown she’s been raised to likely repress those things. Still, she fantasizes because Jacob is the sort of guy that’s easy to fantasize about. He’s even a nice person!

    In all honesty I don’t think Joyce knows what is like to be in love and we’ll get a very obvious cue when she actually feels that way about someone.

    But I’ve been wrong before.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      You don’t need to be in love to have a crush, simple infatuation would do and everything you just described sounds like infatuation to me.

      1. Gesc

        I would have to know what constitutes as a “crush” for you.

        And yeah I was seeing this from a more romantic angle.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Physical charms aside, and niceness aside, Jacob is literally the only person Joyce has met at IU with whom she can debate the Bible and still feel comfortable. (Except maybe Sierra? I don’t know anything about Sierra’s Church of God.)

      I’m sure Mary knows the Bible, or at least the parts of it that support her prejudices, as well as Joyce. But Mary is always going to focus on the sins of other people, and Joyce will never be comfortable with that.

      The rest of Joyce’s social circle either aren’t particularly Christian and/or aren’t particularly interested in Biblical exegesis. But the Bible is still a really important part of Joyce’s spiritual life, and having a peer to talk to about really matters to her. Even with out those magical, magical biceps.

      1. Gesc

        He’s a good friend and a much needed source of rapport in areas her other friends haven’t been too good covering. Which funny makes me think it turns Jacob into one of the last guys she would ever want to be with.

        I mean, wouldn’t be surprised if she lusted a bit after him, but I don’t see Joyce acting solely on it. Nor Jacob, really. Jacob who very much has a girlfriend he loves.

        1. Ansel

          “Jacob who very much has a girlfriend he loves.”

          I mean, I don’t want Joyce to do something shitty by breaking them up, but he’s only been with Raidah for several weeks. That seems like a bit of a reach.

        2. Ansel

          okay i swear I had a different gravatar a couple days ago. did they shuffle again?

  34. newllend(henryvolt)

    This is fucked up but still so entertaining, it’s like Joyce wants to vicariously live through Sarah And Sarah is prepared to do the same if Joyce decides to take Jacob for herself.

    These are still really bad intentions considering they’d be breaking up a functional relationship just to get Sarah laid. But I Kind still feel tempted to actually see it play out. I’m conflicted on so many levels.

    On a different subject, reading this comic feels like Christmas sometimes.

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      I don’t think it’s even the living vicariously for Sarah. She already gave up on Jacob before the party. Since then, it’s all been about breaking them up.

  35. Anywhere

    *fingerguns*

  36. BenRG

    Ah, Joyce, you romantic you! Everything is all about your friends getting ‘happily ever after’, isn’t it? Well, that’s not a bad way for things to be but, maybe, if someone else gets to be miserable in the process, you have to wonder if it’s a good thing at all.

    Joe is many things but he is not oblivious. I wonder how long it will be before he challenges Joyce with her own feelings for Jacob?

  37. Adj

    How soon until the final panel of the latest Slipshine offering is up as a gravatar?

  38. Eldritch Gentleman

    It’s so deliciously ironic that Joe has to teach Joyce about not objectifying people and that it is creepy to try and break up other people’s relationship…

  39. Jaime

    I have to say: I like Joyce and Joe together. I don’t know if that means a romantic relationship or just friendship in their future, but I think that they are *good* for each other – YMMV!

    Joyce called Joe out when he needed it, and he’s kind of calling her out now. Also, I can’t help but notice that she’s wearing “that” sweater around him. I’ve been sexually harrassed and assaulted. I know people who have suffered much worse than I have who have been clinically diagnosed with PTSD. I think I can say with *some* authority that Joyce wearing that sweater in Joe’s presence – and even kind of wearing it proudly in a way that highlights how pretty she is (as per Willis’ artwork) – is a HUGE sign of healing and of trust.

    Again, YMMV. While I sincerely hope Joyce and Joe aren’t going to fall into the “Beauty and the Beast” misogynist archetype, I hope they can learn from each other. ?

    1. BenRG

      FWIW, I suspect that Joe and Joyce are the brother and sister that neither of them realised that they needed in their lives.

  40. Carms

    I’m sad that Joyce can’t just enjoy having a crush on Jacob.
    If it’s cos she’s trying to support Sarah, ok.
    But I kiind of think there’s a race thing? Which is really really sad.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Yeah her parents were kinda thrilled that she had a… how did they put it? Black friend? Coloured friend? Her community is obviously not too much into the whole racial equality thing.

      1. timemonkey

        Probably due to the fact that everyone they know is white. They think they’re open minded and accepting but the reality is very different.

        1. Ansel

          ^^^

          My family (or at least my mom) is this and I totally see it in Joyce’s. I got raised “”colour blind”” because of it; that took a lot of learning to get past.

          My mom still lives in white town and pretends she’s tolerant and progressive most of the time. I could see the same for the Browns but I feel like Joyce’s mom probably couches things in dogwhistle terms that Joyce isn’t aware of rather than just being silent like mine.

        2. thejeff

          You’ve made an African-American friend! I can’t wait to tell everyone on our street that our daughter isn’t racist.

        3. BBCC

          They’re likely the kind of person Billie meant when describing ‘well meaning parents’.

    2. BenRG

      To Joyce, Jacob is off-limits because “he is Sarah’s” in her oh-so-fairy tale mind. I’m wondering if Sarah is trying to manipulate Joyce into falling in love with Jacob because, in her mind, someone as sweet as Joyce deserves a man as popular as Jacob.

      Breaking Raidah’s heart has nothing about it! Honest! 😉

      1. BenRG

        Sorry, I meant ‘perfect’, not ‘popular’… Unless this is one of Willis’s auto-corrects as work…

      2. Carms

        Yeh I defo think Sarah’s proxying Joyce- I don’t think Sarah expects to get in on that lovin.

        Also, in response only to myself, I said ‘ok’ as though Joyce partitioning men off as belonging to other women isn’t an issue, wht I meant was a sad ok that is less sad than the race thing to me, specifically, I guess

  41. L!ghtn!ng

    Yaaaaaas, Joyce asking Joe for wooing advice! And point well made about Joyce ranking people. This is everything I could have asked for.

  42. Pl0x

    Wow, thanks!

  43. NoOneLikesRobin

    So no one’s going to talk about how Joyce knows the term “false equivalency” now? Leslie’s class is paying dividends already! Guarantee you she didn’t learn that term from homeschool.

    1. timemonkey

      She has internet access and her best friend is Dorothy, of course she knows that phrase.

    2. Trolldrool

      I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if Carol used it to explain how what medieval crusaders did to muslims, jews and slavs was completely different from what fanatical muslim organizations do today.

  44. Trolldrool

    That face in the second panel might be the most perverted grin anyone has ever made in this comic. Which is weird because I can’t think of many characters less perverted than Joyce. I’m not sure what face she’s trying to make, but she needs to give it more practice.

  45. CJ

    I don’t see why people say that Jacob and Raidah have an functional relationship. When they came to Joyce’s party, that was supposed to be their second date. This is how long ago? A week? two?

    We don’t really know anything about it. Dina watching them didn’t get us much information. We don’t know if they really have a connection, are making each other stronger.

    I agree that the plan is ill conceived and stupid but not because the actual relationship of Jacob and Raidah is something to protect, but because intrigues shouldn’t play a role in creating relationships.

    1. thejeff

      They seem to be serious enough about it that it that trying to break them up would be bad. We don’t know how healthy a relationship it is, but we’ve got no reason to think it isn’t.

    2. Nono

      They seem to be doing fine. And they’re even abstaining from going straight into sex and talking about other things that connect them, like religion.

      And let’s be honest, 80% of Sarah’s attraction to Jacob is physical. The other 20% is spite.

    3. Shariku

      Let’s face it. Time is confusing here (It kind of feels like Dorothy told Walky that she loved him only one month into knowing him). We’ve had them be together during a timeskip so it’s probably a little longer than two weeks. And it’s possible they’ve done more hanging out than going on formal dates, so they could be close enough that ripping them apart is seen as a bad thing.

      I would say Joe has authority here, since he’s Jacob’s friend and is probably seeing them together often enough to get the idea.

      1. thejeff

        We first learned they were dating at Joyce’s party on September 25th. Jacob mentioned it was their second date. It’s now October 10th. So just over two weeks.
        They do seem to have been spending a lot of time together, not just “dates”. Most scenes with Jacob have ended with him meeting up with Raidah and leaving – after class or after his pizza lunch with Joe that Joyce and Sarah crashed.
        If anything, they’re likely still in that New Relationship Energy stage where you just can’t get enough of each other.

    4. TemperaryObsessor

      Its not so much that the relationship needs to be protected but its generally a jerk move to try to break people up. It shows a lack of respect for their decisions.
      I do think Joyce would be within her rights to straight forward tell Jacob that if he were single she would be interested.

  46. Vulcanodon

    Maybe not a false equivalency Joyce, but definitely a valid analogy. Joe is giving you good advice here.

    Also would Joyce like to admit she is imagining those arms around her?

    1. Vulcanodon

      Also didn’t he once try to push Danny at Sarah? The memory probably makes him cringe.

      1. ValdVin

        Make him cringe: “Him” being Joe, or Danny?

        Joe’s probably got wingman on his resume, and showed–at the time–he didn’t know when to stop. He pushed a disinterested Danny at a disinterested Sarah early on a weekday morning. Ugh.

    2. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      But she’s also imagining that she is Sarah so it’s OK that they’re around her yes definitely

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        definitely not interested in Jacob, because Sarah is after all and that would be WEIRD

    3. Sam

      What Joe said is a false equivalency. Going ‘my friend is clearly better than the person I am not fond of’ isn’t the same as comparing complete strangers, ranking them based on desire to sleep with them and putting it online with the intention of showing people. The former is biased, but it doesn’t have the harm potential of turning it into a game like the latter does.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Not as bad, but still pretty bad.

  47. FacelessDeviant

    Yeah, someone better call a veterinary because Jacobs pythons are SICK.

  48. nlips

    Joyce doesn’t have much experience with Girl Drama does she?

    She’s setting up a storm. Get Jacob to break up with Raidah so he can go out with Sarah except Joyce secretly loves (lusts?) after Jacob herself and is likely to try to break him up with flirting which will make him think she wants to go out with him herself…

    Heck any tween sitcom should have taught her not to meddle with these forces.

  49. JBento

    Today, Joe is the moral centre of the strip! Tomorrow, the apocalypse cometh!

    1. Spencer

      I hope Joe continues his rise to becoming a lovable sex bro.

      1. JBento

        When Amazi-Girl can’t respond to the call, beware villains, the power of Lovable Sex Bro and his sidekick, Ukulele Boy!

  50. Dev

    To be fair, he has a point…

  51. Nightsbridge

    I can feel Cerberus nodding in serious, if dubious approval at Joe from here.

  52. Exilon1

    Oh Joyce.
    I agree with you.

  53. Pablo360

    Completely unrelated, I was browsing old comments and came across someone who thought all the “hur hur Danny is Amazi-Girl” jokes were in earnest. They capped it off by saying that “America is getting dumber by the day”, which is just the most American thing.

    1. Pablo360

      Disclaimer: I get to make fun of America because I’m as American as a JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure end credits theme song

  54. Tenchan

    Bad Joyce, bad! No flesh of Jesus for you!

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      tl;dr version: I’m pretty sure Joyce’s religion is not one in which communion involves the literal flesh of Jesus.

      Longer version: Ever since Willis’s tumblr showed a preview panel of a shocked Joyce face with the caption “Joyce has opinions about communion” (can’t find the page, but it was something pretty close to that) — ever since then, I’ve been trying to inform myself about what various Christian groups actually think about communion/eucharist. I have never been part of a communion-practicing religion, so it’s all research for me.

      And honestly, this communion/eucharist thing makes me long for the simplicity of the Nicene made/begotten controversy, or the Chalcedon one-nature/two-natures dispute, or the Nestorian view of the incarnated Christ.

      You got your real presence, you got your pneumatic presence, you got your spiritual presence, you got your sacramental union, you got your consubstantiation…and that still doesn’t cover even the major denominations. In the words of one Far Side cartoon: “Mr. Osborne, may I be excused? My brain is full.”

  55. Smooti

    It’s kinda weird when Joe’s super insightful about this sort of thing after having to have what the consequences of his list had to be literally spelled out for him uh. A day ago? Two days ago, max?

    Anyway I’m sure that the Jacob-Sarah thing’s gonna end in disaster but here’s hoping it’s a disaster that doesn’t ruin Jacob and Joyce’s friendship that’s budding (because I think Jacob could be a great positive influence on Joyce!) and also completely doesn’t benefit Raidah in any way whatsoever, because fuck Raidah.

  56. Ivy

    Are you ok Wills?

    1. Ivy

      Oh SHIT nevermind I’m in a different time zone FUCK I hate this

  57. Drakoarion

    You gotta love when Joe is the moral high ground

  58. kilgaen

    It is indeed false equivalency. The two do not compare. Still a perfectly good point though.

  59. ZORK

    I honestly first thought it was going to be a Slipshine starring Joyce.

    Needless to say, I was confused about this.

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