Mary probably wanted to get close with Ruth based on their interaction over the dingdong bandit, but now feels betrayed since she’s not really the figure of vengeance she could use to get that hit of delicious delicious schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude: it’s what keeps the church together.
Horrible people tend to be very ignorant in certain areas, which makes them assholes.
I know this one guy, hard science major, could tell you anything you wanted about nuclear physics…. but he thinks any other science or study is pointless accept his own. Especially space science, biology and psychology. Thinks all the research money should be in nuclear and particle physics. He’s smart, witty and if it wasn’t for his proudness towards his own ignorance and close-mindedness, I might even like the guy. Alas, what a jerk.
oldFart
Just let him have any major health crisis and he will be singing the praises of bio-medical research. Or ask him how particle physics is going to help contain ebola.
Disloyal Subject
I’d be interested to hear his answer.
I guess nukes would technically work…
sps48
Not necessarily.
Vincent
Well, Ebola’s technically only a problem in the few countries it has hit due to lacking sanitary facilities…
Eh, I suppose Patrick Stewart could work in a pinch… Not quite as known for the dramatic pausing as Shatner, but if you specifically ask him to ham it up, I’m sure he’ll oblige.
Jules
I think a Horatio Caine impersonation will do, at the very least.
nothri
Just don’t get the Sisco involved. He doesn’t pause. He only punches. That is why you do not mess with the Sisco.
fogel
So not true. Sisco’ s “You. Are. In. Trouble. BIG TROUBLE.” glare combined with his voice in low volume with sub space harmonics timbre was like standing at the plate facing Dave Stewart fixing you with his Death Stare from the mound, right before he unleashed that fast ball. Avery Brooks played Sisco like a 24th century Hawk: just as tough, but a highly educated and trained insider with a jovial side, rather than an outsider who revealed his full persona to almost no one. Hawk could bring the Serious Whoopass,but often his sheer menace was sufficient.
fogel
Plus, Sisco often solved problems with diplomacy and other means. He was a complete Star Fleet officer.
Doom Shepherd
When confronted by a hostile alien, Kirk will punch it in the face.
When confronted by a hostile alien, Picard will make a speech bringing it around to his point of view.
When confronted by a hostile alien, SisKo will make a speech bringing it around to his point of view, THEN punch it in the face, so it remembers.
nothri
I’ve often felt that SisKO (happy, Doom?) was the Winston Churchill of Star Trek captains. “We will fight them on the sea, we will fight them on the land….we will never surrender.” He was confronted with a constant threat of overwhelming and nearly absolute evil on his doorstep, and he refused to compromise with it. There are some folks who argue he caused the Dominion War by ignoring their demands to stop traveling through the wormhole. I think if he HAD capitulated it would have been much worse, cause given what we know about the Dominion they would have been unlikely to simply ignore the Alpha Quadrant and all those potential threats to their perfect order. Instead, they probably would have taken the opportunity to build an overwhelming fleet on their side of the wormhole and launch a surprise attack against all powers. In terms of captains, Sisko is less of a diplomat than Picard because he has to be. He’s not cruising through the galaxy in a powerful ship seeking to make peaceful first contact. He’s maintaining a presence on the border of the Federation with various hostile powers all around him. He has to use a very different combination of diplomacy and force than Picard, and sometimes that means making back room deals or getting his hands dirty in ways Star Fleet would not approve of (In the Pale Moonlight, anyone?). That doesn’t make him better or worse than any other Starfleet captain (except Janeway, of course). What it does mean is that he is the best possible choice for the post he was given.
Also, he was the only captain willing to punch Q in the face for being insufferable. And say what you will about Q’s comments regarding him…the omnipotent little bastard never did dare to show his face on DS9 again after that.
Kirk does a McGiver: builds a cannon out of a hollow log, mixes up a batch of gun powder, loads some diamond crystals, BOOM. Unless the hostile alien was a space babe, but I don’t think it was his fists he used in those scenarios. And if it was a computer, he shorted them out by sending them into a recursive feedback loop. PICARD I don’t remember making speeches to the Borg to win them over. I did like him trading stories around the campfire with the alien captain who was willing to give his life to establish friendly communication. SISKO I don’t recall using speeches or fists on the Founders OR Gul Dukat (right guy?).
nothri
Naw, he mostly handled the Dominion and Cardassians with a little space ship called the Defiant, a prototype warship he personally spent several years inventing with the explicit purpose of blowing the federation’s enemies straight to hell. Yet another reason you do not mess with the Sisko. The list of ways he is awesome is so long the only surface large enough to write them all down on is his penis.
And since I’m now blatantly stealing his material, I’ll go ahead and plug http://sfdebris.com/ Hands down the best and funniest reviews of Star Trek across every series, with deep character and scientific analysis alongside hilarious commentary.
PedanticJerkass
SisKo, not SisCo.
fogel
Nothri: nice analysis of Sisko, I like it very much. But I will add one qualification. The time he gave some to Garick (?sp?) for arranging the destruction of that Romulan ship/negotiator, framing the other side, and thereby paving the way for the Romulan Alliance, Sisko showed he wasn’t willing to do The Full LeCarre, ala Spy Who Came in From the Cold; he played Lemas to Garick’s Control–and Garick sneered because he wasn’t willing to do ANYTHING that might be necessary to win.
fogel
Ok, I meant nothri’ s Churchillian comparison, I’m not touching n’s comments about Sisko’ s penis … although, is it true that he had DEFIANT tattooed on it? I look forward to checking out sfdebris. If it truly is the best and funniest take on Trek it’ll be hella treat and if it isn’t it the very pinnacle it probably will still be a treat: there’s some damned good Trek-ish stuff been done.
Marianne
Shatner inserts his own dramatic pauses, though. If Shatner were to ever actually try to read a dramatic pause from a script, he’d instantly turn into a massive black hole and destroy the universe. Either that or he’d burp the pause. It’s kinda 50/50.
Don’t worry. I’m assembling a cast to produce an audio track so you can just listen along as you look at the pictures. We’ll do the dramatic pauses, so you don’t have to.
D’ya think Mary bought it? (Alas, somehow I doubt it.) Anyway…
The Great “Help Yotsuyasan Choose
A New Gravatar” of 2014, part 2:
Electric Boogaloo!
Hello again, everyone! Not much response to my initial inquiry posted with yesterday’s comic… I know I am by far the most well known member of the posting community here, but I hope that is because you were waiting to see other options to judge them against one another! And not just because you were all like, “Yotsuyasan? Who the smeg is that and why should I care what his bloody Gravatar is?” Ha ha. 😀
Anyway, since I started this, I figure I must press forward. And so, tonight I have debuted my second option! Unlike my first option (the custom Ruth presented yesterday) and my final option (the horrifying truth of which you can learn tomorrow), this one is not based on Dumbing of Age characters, but is a wholly original design.
So, what is this one? Well, assuming you are reading this within 24 hours of when it was first posted, you should see it there to the left!
This is the avatar I use pretty much everywhere else I post online that allows for avatars, and it is based on the main character (who may be a gratuitous self-insert) in a series of my own creation, Boy Scouts ½. The two super-deformed figures represent two different versions of the same character who’s name is Matthew Atanian. (By a strange and staggering coincidence, this might just happen to be my own name! Shock!
If you wish to have a closer look at the illustration of the figure on the left, Matt in his natural male form, please click here. For the figure on the right, Matt’s cursed female form (yes, it is a Ranma ½ based fic) who goes by the alias Matty Hayes, please click here.
Huh… “Your comment is awaiting moderation.” That’s new… (To me, at least.) Did I inadvertently do something wrong, or is that just a standard thing to posts with links to other websites in them?
It can be set up so that certain keywords or tags require manual approval.
Thoroughly Moderated
Really? I must use those words a lot, then, because all of my comments (all, like, five of them ever) require moderation.
Of course, I change my name every time I comment to align with that comment, so that could have something to do with it. We all have to have our schticks, I suppose.
Machine of Slight Discomfort
Posts of first time commenters are always put into moderation, I think.
Machine of Slight Discomfort
Or it’s talking about moderation that does, ’cause my comment totally just went into the moderation queue. Or I just comment too rarely.
Thoroughly Moderated
That makes a lot of sense. It’s a good way to weed out trolls and spam bots before they, you know, troll and spam.
Ah. That makes sense… I don’t usually have cause for excessive linkage!
Hopefully it doesn’t take too long. Just out of curiosity, since I can see my own awaiting moderation comment, is it publically visible in the interim, and you can all see my initial post? Or is it only visible to me until it is approved, and yet you can see (and reply to) my own reply to my initial post? (If the later, odd to allow replies to an invisible post…)
Leorale
Can’t see it yet, though Willis’s moderation is silent and swift, like a snowy owl upon a fresh dish of Mac n’ cheese. swoosh!
253 thoughts on “Expelled”
Jen Aside
but Ruth majors in PAIN
better watch it, Mary
Kodra
Mary probably wanted to get close with Ruth based on their interaction over the dingdong bandit, but now feels betrayed since she’s not really the figure of vengeance she could use to get that hit of delicious delicious schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude: it’s what keeps the church together.
Rosicrucian
So it takes a girl like an Old Testament plague to really wind Mary’s clock.
Kodra
sending bears to kill kids over minor insults is what really gets her going.
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
Yep. Malcontents gotta do their thing.
OnyxIdol
“…with a minor in women studies”
It’s amazing how well this reference fits.
fogel
Mary delenda est
3oranges
Now for full historical accuracy I think you need to say that at least once on every comic, regardless of what it’s about.
It’s…it’s not the worst thing to do.
Jordan
I understood that reference!
fogel
Yep: homecoming, chess club, math class, the nominal topic does not matter, till she’s plowed under and the ground where she stood is salted.
EvergreenFir
redhead have (on average) higher pain tolerance. As do women.
Doctor_Who
Do we know Mary’s? I thing it might be theatrical criticism.
Cthulhu's Intern
No, I’m pretty sure that it’s…
…theatrical criticism.
AgentKeen
Why’d you put that pause before… …theatrical?
AHHHH, now I’m doing it!
Ryan
Because it sounds enough like…
… theatre that the alt text applies.
Leorale
Studio art. So lots of critiques.
begbert2
I prefer to do my art in…
…the atrium.
N0083rP00F
With a candlestick ….
Wait, this is Clue right?
Jen Aside
Nah, Clue is Ruth’s and Howard’s lesser known cousin…
CLUE LESSE
AustKyzor
Nah, it’s probably poli-sci
airyu
Who knew Mary was intelligent…?
Plasma Mongoose
We never said that Mary was dim, just a horrible person.
Sushi
Horrible people tend to be very ignorant in certain areas, which makes them assholes.
I know this one guy, hard science major, could tell you anything you wanted about nuclear physics…. but he thinks any other science or study is pointless accept his own. Especially space science, biology and psychology. Thinks all the research money should be in nuclear and particle physics. He’s smart, witty and if it wasn’t for his proudness towards his own ignorance and close-mindedness, I might even like the guy. Alas, what a jerk.
oldFart
Just let him have any major health crisis and he will be singing the praises of bio-medical research. Or ask him how particle physics is going to help contain ebola.
Disloyal Subject
I’d be interested to hear his answer.
I guess nukes would technically work…
sps48
Not necessarily.
Vincent
Well, Ebola’s technically only a problem in the few countries it has hit due to lacking sanitary facilities…
The flu, though, absolutely.
Opus the Poet
That person wouldn’t happen to be Dr. Sheldon Cooper would he? Because I saw that episode of BBT.
Kryss LaBryn
That episode is EVERY episode of BBT.
Darbinator716
Damn it Mary.
Yotomoe
Now Now. Only our lord and savior can damn things.
Rosicrucian
And Mary. By Proxy. She helpfully points out who to smite.
Doctor_Who
Mary: put on this earth to be the little laser pointer on God’s sniper rifle.
MrSirk
“HEADSHOT!..Thanks, Mary.”
Calvin Coolage
If she’s the laser, then who is God’s spotter?
MrSirk
Jesus?
thebombzen
Jesus did a 360 no scope. Came right back around.
nerdboy64
God doesn’t need a spotter. He rocks the l33t MLG 360 no-scopes.
Dave
I didn’t even know I was supposed to be reading these out loud
Dave
So much catching up to do
Yotomoe
As if you need to read it aloud to put a mental dramatic pause in that line of text.
Yotsuyasan
If a dramatic pause is in order, we need to get Shatner to do a reading of tonight’s comic!
Disloyal Subject
Make it so!
Yotsuyasan
Eh, I suppose Patrick Stewart could work in a pinch… Not quite as known for the dramatic pausing as Shatner, but if you specifically ask him to ham it up, I’m sure he’ll oblige.
Jules
I think a Horatio Caine impersonation will do, at the very least.
nothri
Just don’t get the Sisco involved. He doesn’t pause. He only punches. That is why you do not mess with the Sisco.
fogel
So not true. Sisco’ s “You. Are. In. Trouble. BIG TROUBLE.” glare combined with his voice in low volume with sub space harmonics timbre was like standing at the plate facing Dave Stewart fixing you with his Death Stare from the mound, right before he unleashed that fast ball. Avery Brooks played Sisco like a 24th century Hawk: just as tough, but a highly educated and trained insider with a jovial side, rather than an outsider who revealed his full persona to almost no one. Hawk could bring the Serious Whoopass,but often his sheer menace was sufficient.
fogel
Plus, Sisco often solved problems with diplomacy and other means. He was a complete Star Fleet officer.
Doom Shepherd
When confronted by a hostile alien, Kirk will punch it in the face.
When confronted by a hostile alien, Picard will make a speech bringing it around to his point of view.
When confronted by a hostile alien, SisKo will make a speech bringing it around to his point of view, THEN punch it in the face, so it remembers.
nothri
I’ve often felt that SisKO (happy, Doom?) was the Winston Churchill of Star Trek captains. “We will fight them on the sea, we will fight them on the land….we will never surrender.” He was confronted with a constant threat of overwhelming and nearly absolute evil on his doorstep, and he refused to compromise with it. There are some folks who argue he caused the Dominion War by ignoring their demands to stop traveling through the wormhole. I think if he HAD capitulated it would have been much worse, cause given what we know about the Dominion they would have been unlikely to simply ignore the Alpha Quadrant and all those potential threats to their perfect order. Instead, they probably would have taken the opportunity to build an overwhelming fleet on their side of the wormhole and launch a surprise attack against all powers. In terms of captains, Sisko is less of a diplomat than Picard because he has to be. He’s not cruising through the galaxy in a powerful ship seeking to make peaceful first contact. He’s maintaining a presence on the border of the Federation with various hostile powers all around him. He has to use a very different combination of diplomacy and force than Picard, and sometimes that means making back room deals or getting his hands dirty in ways Star Fleet would not approve of (In the Pale Moonlight, anyone?). That doesn’t make him better or worse than any other Starfleet captain (except Janeway, of course). What it does mean is that he is the best possible choice for the post he was given.
Also, he was the only captain willing to punch Q in the face for being insufferable. And say what you will about Q’s comments regarding him…the omnipotent little bastard never did dare to show his face on DS9 again after that.
Doom Shepherd
There is a GODDAMN “K” in “SISKO” you… URRGHH!
Starscreamer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgIOdcBkkzg
fogel
Kirk does a McGiver: builds a cannon out of a hollow log, mixes up a batch of gun powder, loads some diamond crystals, BOOM. Unless the hostile alien was a space babe, but I don’t think it was his fists he used in those scenarios. And if it was a computer, he shorted them out by sending them into a recursive feedback loop. PICARD I don’t remember making speeches to the Borg to win them over. I did like him trading stories around the campfire with the alien captain who was willing to give his life to establish friendly communication. SISKO I don’t recall using speeches or fists on the Founders OR Gul Dukat (right guy?).
nothri
Naw, he mostly handled the Dominion and Cardassians with a little space ship called the Defiant, a prototype warship he personally spent several years inventing with the explicit purpose of blowing the federation’s enemies straight to hell. Yet another reason you do not mess with the Sisko. The list of ways he is awesome is so long the only surface large enough to write them all down on is his penis.
And since I’m now blatantly stealing his material, I’ll go ahead and plug http://sfdebris.com/ Hands down the best and funniest reviews of Star Trek across every series, with deep character and scientific analysis alongside hilarious commentary.
PedanticJerkass
SisKo, not SisCo.
fogel
Nothri: nice analysis of Sisko, I like it very much. But I will add one qualification. The time he gave some to Garick (?sp?) for arranging the destruction of that Romulan ship/negotiator, framing the other side, and thereby paving the way for the Romulan Alliance, Sisko showed he wasn’t willing to do The Full LeCarre, ala Spy Who Came in From the Cold; he played Lemas to Garick’s Control–and Garick sneered because he wasn’t willing to do ANYTHING that might be necessary to win.
fogel
Ok, I meant nothri’ s Churchillian comparison, I’m not touching n’s comments about Sisko’ s penis … although, is it true that he had DEFIANT tattooed on it? I look forward to checking out sfdebris. If it truly is the best and funniest take on Trek it’ll be hella treat and if it isn’t it the very pinnacle it probably will still be a treat: there’s some damned good Trek-ish stuff been done.
Marianne
Shatner inserts his own dramatic pauses, though. If Shatner were to ever actually try to read a dramatic pause from a script, he’d instantly turn into a massive black hole and destroy the universe. Either that or he’d burp the pause. It’s kinda 50/50.
captainswift
Don’t worry. I’m assembling a cast to produce an audio track so you can just listen along as you look at the pictures. We’ll do the dramatic pauses, so you don’t have to.
Yotsuyasan
D’ya think Mary bought it? (Alas, somehow I doubt it.) Anyway…
The Great “Help Yotsuyasan Choose
A New Gravatar” of 2014, part 2:
Electric Boogaloo!
Hello again, everyone! Not much response to my initial inquiry posted with yesterday’s comic… I know I am by far the most well known member of the posting community here, but I hope that is because you were waiting to see other options to judge them against one another! And not just because you were all like, “Yotsuyasan? Who the smeg is that and why should I care what his bloody Gravatar is?” Ha ha. 😀
Anyway, since I started this, I figure I must press forward. And so, tonight I have debuted my second option! Unlike my first option (the custom Ruth presented yesterday) and my final option (the horrifying truth of which you can learn tomorrow), this one is not based on Dumbing of Age characters, but is a wholly original design.
So, what is this one? Well, assuming you are reading this within 24 hours of when it was first posted, you should see it there to the left!
This is the avatar I use pretty much everywhere else I post online that allows for avatars, and it is based on the main character (who may be a gratuitous self-insert) in a series of my own creation, Boy Scouts ½. The two super-deformed figures represent two different versions of the same character who’s name is Matthew Atanian. (By a strange and staggering coincidence, this might just happen to be my own name! Shock!
If you wish to have a closer look at the illustration of the figure on the left, Matt in his natural male form, please click here. For the figure on the right, Matt’s cursed female form (yes, it is a Ranma ½ based fic) who goes by the alias Matty Hayes, please click here.
Yotsuyasan
Huh… “Your comment is awaiting moderation.” That’s new… (To me, at least.) Did I inadvertently do something wrong, or is that just a standard thing to posts with links to other websites in them?
Rosicrucian
It can be set up so that certain keywords or tags require manual approval.
Thoroughly Moderated
Really? I must use those words a lot, then, because all of my comments (all, like, five of them ever) require moderation.
Of course, I change my name every time I comment to align with that comment, so that could have something to do with it. We all have to have our schticks, I suppose.
Machine of Slight Discomfort
Posts of first time commenters are always put into moderation, I think.
Machine of Slight Discomfort
Or it’s talking about moderation that does, ’cause my comment totally just went into the moderation queue. Or I just comment too rarely.
Thoroughly Moderated
That makes a lot of sense. It’s a good way to weed out trolls and spam bots before they, you know, troll and spam.
Catullus
If there are two or more links in your comment, it goes into the moderation queue.
Catullus
(Pretend my first comment was a reply to Yotsuyasan’s comment, because that’s what I meant it to be.)
Yotsuyasan
Ah. That makes sense… I don’t usually have cause for excessive linkage!
Hopefully it doesn’t take too long. Just out of curiosity, since I can see my own awaiting moderation comment, is it publically visible in the interim, and you can all see my initial post? Or is it only visible to me until it is approved, and yet you can see (and reply to) my own reply to my initial post? (If the later, odd to allow replies to an invisible post…)
Leorale
Can’t see it yet, though Willis’s moderation is silent and swift, like a snowy owl upon a fresh dish of Mac n’ cheese. swoosh!
Yotsuyasan
I like Mac & Cheese! And in other news, I seem to have been Willis approved! Huzzah!
Leorale
It’s because of the link. He probably wants to make sure you aren’t a derailing spam-bot.
TheZachariah