I think she accepts the reasoning as valid but still finds it irritating. (Plus Becky acting like a jealous ex over Joyce doing non-Becky-centric things right in front of her might not be helping.)
Judging by Becky’s expression, she may be about to start acting like a jealous ex over Joyce doing non-Becky-centric activities behind Dina’s back, with a sprinkle of ‘how dare you insult my girlfriend’ energy sprinkled on like a disguise.
Icalasari
Ye, basically Dina is ticked with the situation rather than Joyce herself. Probably feeling mildly crushed
Yeah but like, I really don’t get the point in pointing that like out like Joyce did, given there’s nothing Dina can really do about it? (she can’t stop being short nor stop being autistic)
LiamKav
She’s pointing it out as part of explaining why she didn’t invite Becky. “We wanted to do a naughty thing and inviting you would have made it much harder”. It’s harsh but it’s the truth. I’m not sure how you can make it less harsh.
Azhrei Vep
And then Joyce, knowing Dina is sensitive about that, tried to head off any assumptions that she herself saw Dina as childlike, and began wildly overcompensating to the point it got very irritating and probably insulting again, because that is how Joyce do.
Segnosaur
Another poster made the suggestion that while “Dina looks too young to get into a bar” is the truth, Joyce could have used the excuse “the more people the more chance of failure” (which would also be true, even if it wasn’t the primary reason), an excuse that wouldn’t have specifically targeted Dina.
The problem is, it would have required Joyce to “think fast” in order to come up with the alternative excuse. What seems like a good idea to us while we peruse the interwebs may not occur to someone who is under pressure and has to give an immediate answer.
anon
ppl around that age range are allowed to be immature, although must be sucky for someone to be ‘mature for their age’ and hard to connect with someone even with a one year diff with them acting super immature, tho i guess it depends on how they express themselves/what they do, bc while teens can do/say dumb things sometimes, i kinda wish i had done more ‘dumb things’ with my friends (although breaking the law aside i guess some ppl would use their teenage youth as an excuse to get away with some things that an ‘adult’ should know better)
Yeah, as a fellow “tiny neurodiverse person who looks younger than she is,” I can’t entirely fault Joyce for this. I literally get people carded when I am with them (even if they are normally never carded). One time, when going to eat with my dad, HE was carded for the first time in decades, because I was with him. I was in my early 20s at the time and he in his 60s. He looks young for his age too…but not 4 decades younger. XD
I’d never begrudge someone for being nervous about bringing me to that sort of scenario back before I was 21 (but I also would’ve been too scared to break the rules anyway) so I’d consider Joyce completely reasonable and blameless in this…except for the point that Dina DOES tend to also go unnoticed to an extreme degree, nullifying the effect of her young appearance in this sort of scenario.
This is where Dina and I differ, and I envy this skill. I somehow manage to be extremely conspicuous despite being tiny and quiet. I suspect it’s my hair – platinum blonde tends to stand out like a glow stick on a nighttime jogger. I can’t ever be sneaky.
Imogen
Honestly, this is a good point for Dina’s upset *not* being about Joyce. If Dina was upset with Joyce, she’d be letting Joyce know about it, not coolly walking away. Dina doesn’t seem like the type to break a promise.
Dina just does not want to deal with this. She ‘knows’ she’s a rebound, and that insecurity is coming back in full force right now.
I was gonna say that it just looked like she was done with Joyce’s shit to me, but it occurs to me that I have no clue what “Dina about to cry” would look like. I don’t… think we’ve seen her cry in this universe? And old continuity Dina probably wouldn’t be an effective yardstick.
Even when I don’t cry in response to prejudices like that (sometimes I do in private), I often still cry on the inside. Dina may be too.
HeatherJean
I think she looks as if she’s determined to make a liar of Joyce by reappearing as someone who looks older than 21.
Prior Semblance
Would probably be more effective to return with alcohol.
Ed Callahan
Turns out you called it. Also, did not flag your comment intentionally.
Kyrros
I came to post this same theory. No doubt she has had the thought at some point in the last several months, and may even have had the idea of testing the idea empirically with Becky as a form of ‘romantic exploration’. The current discussion may have pushed up her intended timeline and expanded to include the social circle at large. The question really, will she attempt it herself, or seek ‘expert’ advice in the form of Sal (the two of them have not interacted much) who might take an uncharacteristically sympathetic stance on the issue and indeed guide Dina in an attempt to make herself ‘appear’ older than she normally does. Paradoxically, while Sal would say that ‘trying’ to be cool would in fact nullify any coolness, might initially be against such a such a thing; Dina would only be asking about age appearance, not necessarily ‘cool factor’ (as Joyce sees Sal), and perhaps giving Sal the opportunity to help Dina ‘defy expectation’ would be a nice moment of character bonding between them.
In all actuality, sadly, it’s more likely that she’s simply perceiving Becky’s (sadly) transparent display of ‘ex-lover jealously’ behavior and taking issue with it – and the ‘age appearance’ thing only further compounding her discomfort.
eh, whatever
To me it looks like rolling her eyes.
Azhrei Vep
I read generally grumpy off of her posture, which can include but is not limited to eyerolling.
zee
What? She looks moderately annoyed. Joyce has said much more upsetting things to her while trying to be a lot less delicate about it. She looks the way everyone does when Joyce is trying to be sensitive about something she’s been bad about in the past and says something incredibly stupid. See: booster in “he uses they/them pronouns”
Dina is going to face a (near term) life of having to carry ID everywhere to prove her age. Let’s face it, any fake ID she might use (not that I think she would like to do so) would be very carefully examined. Or just disbelieved.
I feel you may all be wrong and Dinas beef is actually with Becky for wanting to do this with Joyce and not her. Having Joyce pointing out the possible flaws in that scheme has made it seem like that is unlikely to happen the way Dina would like it to. I could be wrong of course, I was once back in 1996 but tbf I was only four at the time…
1) Geologists and paleontologists do not use BC for mya (millions of years ago), but BP, which means “Before Present”, where “Present” actually means “1950”, because 1950 is when radiometric dating gets hinky due to radioactive nuclear fallout from fission bomb testing. (Things that are on the order of ~10 kya might be young enough that BC or BCE could be an appropriate date reference)
2) While 65 mya is the popular idea of when the end-Cretaceous extinction event took place, it is based on older research. Better radiometric dating has put the end of the Cretaceous as being 66 mya. The adjustment only took place a little more than a decade ago, so it’s unsurprising the older date is still knocking around, but nevertheless.
3) WikiP:Velociraptor actually suggests that velociraptors actually lived from 76-71 mya, although that may just mean that’s the datings for the examples known and found. But older wouldn’t hurt.
(Why am i nitpicking a joke? Because SCIENCE!!! Come to think of it, Dina probably would as well.)
It’s highly likely that 90% of the 65m years statements you see are just people rounding numbers off… I’ve heard 66m years for my entire life; but numbers get rounded to 5s and 0s for ease of calculation.
And I would argue that this interaction WAS Joyce trying to be better. She knew her reasoning was potentially offensive, and made an effort to make it as impersonal and objective as possible to try and soften the blow. Speaking from experience, when you know you’re not going to be able to sell a lie or deflection, it’s better to just rip the bandaid off and say the thing you know they won’t like, and try to be as kind as you can possibly figure out how to be.
Azhrei Vep
I agree. Joyce was trying. But she went way overboard in her assurances and just became irritating about it. But she’s definitely trying.
And failing.
Schpoonman
Sucking at something is the first step to being good at something. There is no journey without the first steps, even if you mostly stumble and fall when you begin.
zee
Yeah, this is just the equivalent to “he uses they/them pronouns”. She’s very clearly trying to be sensitive about a topic that’s touchy for Dina. She’s just terrible at it lol, always has been always will be. Some people are clumsy and trip on their first few steps, but they’re still determined to make it to the finish line
i mean other than being actively hostile they don’t rly need to be each other’s friends or anything even if becky is still one of joyce’s best friends but hopefully they can reach an understanding.
but i don’t see them voluntarily hanging out one on one versus just group outings or so
I think they could eventually be friends, or at least on friendly terms.
It will take some time to get to that point, not just because Joyce has some serious unlearning to do, but also because Dina herself is coming into her own as an adult as well.
I think i’d still be irritated in the moment but would also appreciate joyce’s explanation of things, but wonder how many ppl would take it as a ‘challenge’ tho other than it being a ‘youthful mistake’ or so, even with a group of friends as part of the experience once, doesn’t rly seem worth it to just be dumb and drunk (esp when you can do dumb fun things together sober XD)
She’s literally not wrong- Dina is very frequently mistaken as much younger and we do not see her express any interest in doing what they did to get into said bar (makeup and clothes wise)
Also becky 100% would have blown it on her own tbf
Yeah, Becky seems like she’d be the *worst* kind of bad liar, the kind that can’t help but make leading statements with an “I know something you don’t know” tone of voice, as a professional liar (magician) it is always *incredibly* painful to encounter. My brother is like that, my former best friend was like that, but like, seriously, how hard is it to just treat the lie as though it’s reality so you can sell it with a straight face? You don’t need to believe it’s true, just operate *as though* it were true and no signs of deception get through, it’s genuinely not difficult.
Oh come on, we all know Dina can just magically appear in the bar without ever actually going through the door. Girl’s got offscreen Nightcrawler powers.
Given how close the university is that they were able to get there by walking distance, i’m surprised they wouldnt be double checking everyone just to be safe unless it’s just like “the actual uni students old enough to drink legally come more than ppl trying to sneak in”
Segnosaur
If I remember correctly, didn’t they have (fake) hand-stamps?
I’m not sure how exactly it worked, but my assumption is that the bouncer would have seen the stamps, believed the stamps were legitimate, and thought “I have already checked these people when they got stamped” and just let them in.
thejeff
They went in with the group of presumably-older-enough ladies and got their hands stamped by the bouncer.
The stamps let the bartender serve them, since they’d obviously been checked by the bouncer.
Segnosaur
Maybe I misunderstood.
Back when I went to university, there would sometimes be bars or parties that would stamp your hand when you entered. That way if you left for some reason (to go smoke, or whatever) you could come back and they would know you had already paid the cover charge, checked for ID, etc..
I assumed they had done something like that in the comic, since they showed their hand stamps several strips before they actually ordered anything from the bartender..
But that the panel after they got by the bouncer, presumably getting their hand stamped by him. Showing it off to each other because they were excited to have pulled it off.
To be fair, they *did* sneak in with a group of girls that were (supposedly) *obviously* over 21. Sure, bars are supposed to card anyone who looks younger than 35 (if I’m remembering the training course I had to take made by the Indiana state government to get certified to handle alcohol here correctly), just in case, and some in the area will just card everybody regardless as a matter of policy, but if a bouncer has been particularly busy I could totally see one just waving a group through, especially if said bouncer doesn’t actually care (which is definitely the case with some of them). It’s also possible that the bouncer knew one of the girls in the group, and was like “well, I *know* that she is 23, and she said she was going out with her fellow grad students, so everyone in the group must be of similar ages and thus old enough, no need to bother them with ID checks”. Still against the rules, but a common enough thing.
There has to be a better way of saying it though. Not that my autistic ass can puzzle out the way of acknowledging the fact that it’s simply true there’s no way a bouncer or bartender is going to buy that Dina is 21 without sounding like I’m personally infantalizing her.
The art isn’t realistic enough to be entirely sure but my impression is that Dina is shorter than average for her age, not very well endowed, and for lack of a better term has “a baby face”. Even if you take her out of the clothing she prefers and put her in an evening gown and impeccable makeup there’s a very high chance the bouncer/bartender would assume she’s a twelve or thirteen year old trying to trick them. And that is something Dina is likely going to have to deal with until she starts getting visible grey hairs at least.
There has got to be a way to acknowledge the fact that others will treat her as much younger than she actually is without making it seem like you’re treating her as younger than she actually is. And like I said I don’t know what that way is but having actually treated her as if she’s younger than she actually is in the past is absolutely not helping Joyce here.
There isn’t a good way to say it, Joyce kinda fumbled it here, but her basic strategy really is the best one available. When the answer to a question is something you *know* the other person won’t like to hear, but you know you won’t be able to sell a lie or deflection, the best option is to just be honest, acknowledge that the reality sucks, and make it clear it’s not a personal attack, just an objective observation. Joyce is trying to do that, but she’s putting too much emphasis on “don’t get mad at me” and not enough on empathy. Sometimes you can’t avoid hurting someone’s feelings, so instead of trying to, you’re better off doing your best to soften the blow as much as possible and then focus on helping them feel better again afterward.
238 thoughts on “Keg stand”
NGPZ
Days since Joyce was caught with her foot in her mouth: (-_-)
True Survivor
At least Dina appears more exasperated than angry.
anonymsly
I think she accepts the reasoning as valid but still finds it irritating. (Plus Becky acting like a jealous ex over Joyce doing non-Becky-centric things right in front of her might not be helping.)
Judging by Becky’s expression, she may be about to start acting like a jealous ex over Joyce doing non-Becky-centric activities behind Dina’s back, with a sprinkle of ‘how dare you insult my girlfriend’ energy sprinkled on like a disguise.
Icalasari
Ye, basically Dina is ticked with the situation rather than Joyce herself. Probably feeling mildly crushed
NGPZ
More like… disappointed.
Especially since she gotta put up with these kinds of hurtful assumptions just about everywhere.
True Survivor
Yeah, it seemed sort of like a “I’m not surprised but I am still disappointed” scenario. Also, great memory to recall and find that specific strip.
Segnosaur
Dina may be disappointed, but what are the “assumptions” here?
I mean, assuming Dina is less mature than the rest because of her appearance and actions would be a “hurtful assumption”.
But simply saying “Dina looks young” isn’t an assumption, it’s a fact.
NGPZ
Yeah but like, I really don’t get the point in pointing that like out like Joyce did, given there’s nothing Dina can really do about it? (she can’t stop being short nor stop being autistic)
LiamKav
She’s pointing it out as part of explaining why she didn’t invite Becky. “We wanted to do a naughty thing and inviting you would have made it much harder”. It’s harsh but it’s the truth. I’m not sure how you can make it less harsh.
Azhrei Vep
And then Joyce, knowing Dina is sensitive about that, tried to head off any assumptions that she herself saw Dina as childlike, and began wildly overcompensating to the point it got very irritating and probably insulting again, because that is how Joyce do.
Segnosaur
Another poster made the suggestion that while “Dina looks too young to get into a bar” is the truth, Joyce could have used the excuse “the more people the more chance of failure” (which would also be true, even if it wasn’t the primary reason), an excuse that wouldn’t have specifically targeted Dina.
The problem is, it would have required Joyce to “think fast” in order to come up with the alternative excuse. What seems like a good idea to us while we peruse the interwebs may not occur to someone who is under pressure and has to give an immediate answer.
anon
ppl around that age range are allowed to be immature, although must be sucky for someone to be ‘mature for their age’ and hard to connect with someone even with a one year diff with them acting super immature, tho i guess it depends on how they express themselves/what they do, bc while teens can do/say dumb things sometimes, i kinda wish i had done more ‘dumb things’ with my friends (although breaking the law aside i guess some ppl would use their teenage youth as an excuse to get away with some things that an ‘adult’ should know better)
Autogatos
Yeah, as a fellow “tiny neurodiverse person who looks younger than she is,” I can’t entirely fault Joyce for this. I literally get people carded when I am with them (even if they are normally never carded). One time, when going to eat with my dad, HE was carded for the first time in decades, because I was with him. I was in my early 20s at the time and he in his 60s. He looks young for his age too…but not 4 decades younger. XD
I’d never begrudge someone for being nervous about bringing me to that sort of scenario back before I was 21 (but I also would’ve been too scared to break the rules anyway) so I’d consider Joyce completely reasonable and blameless in this…except for the point that Dina DOES tend to also go unnoticed to an extreme degree, nullifying the effect of her young appearance in this sort of scenario.
This is where Dina and I differ, and I envy this skill. I somehow manage to be extremely conspicuous despite being tiny and quiet. I suspect it’s my hair – platinum blonde tends to stand out like a glow stick on a nighttime jogger. I can’t ever be sneaky.
Imogen
Honestly, this is a good point for Dina’s upset *not* being about Joyce. If Dina was upset with Joyce, she’d be letting Joyce know about it, not coolly walking away. Dina doesn’t seem like the type to break a promise.
Dina just does not want to deal with this. She ‘knows’ she’s a rebound, and that insecurity is coming back in full force right now.
HueSatLight
I think she looks like she’s going to cry.
RassilonTDavros
I was gonna say that it just looked like she was done with Joyce’s shit to me, but it occurs to me that I have no clue what “Dina about to cry” would look like. I don’t… think we’ve seen her cry in this universe? And old continuity Dina probably wouldn’t be an effective yardstick.
NGPZ
IIRC she came close to crying when she learned about the physical abuse Becky faced in her childhood.
Even when I don’t cry in response to prejudices like that (sometimes I do in private), I often still cry on the inside. Dina may be too.
HeatherJean
I think she looks as if she’s determined to make a liar of Joyce by reappearing as someone who looks older than 21.
Prior Semblance
Would probably be more effective to return with alcohol.
Ed Callahan
Turns out you called it. Also, did not flag your comment intentionally.
Kyrros
I came to post this same theory. No doubt she has had the thought at some point in the last several months, and may even have had the idea of testing the idea empirically with Becky as a form of ‘romantic exploration’. The current discussion may have pushed up her intended timeline and expanded to include the social circle at large. The question really, will she attempt it herself, or seek ‘expert’ advice in the form of Sal (the two of them have not interacted much) who might take an uncharacteristically sympathetic stance on the issue and indeed guide Dina in an attempt to make herself ‘appear’ older than she normally does. Paradoxically, while Sal would say that ‘trying’ to be cool would in fact nullify any coolness, might initially be against such a such a thing; Dina would only be asking about age appearance, not necessarily ‘cool factor’ (as Joyce sees Sal), and perhaps giving Sal the opportunity to help Dina ‘defy expectation’ would be a nice moment of character bonding between them.
In all actuality, sadly, it’s more likely that she’s simply perceiving Becky’s (sadly) transparent display of ‘ex-lover jealously’ behavior and taking issue with it – and the ‘age appearance’ thing only further compounding her discomfort.
eh, whatever
To me it looks like rolling her eyes.
Azhrei Vep
I read generally grumpy off of her posture, which can include but is not limited to eyerolling.
zee
What? She looks moderately annoyed. Joyce has said much more upsetting things to her while trying to be a lot less delicate about it. She looks the way everyone does when Joyce is trying to be sensitive about something she’s been bad about in the past and says something incredibly stupid. See: booster in “he uses they/them pronouns”
HueSatLight
About Becky.
staszu13
Not exasperated, more like disappointed. But we did get two Joyce Faces for the price of one
Paul
Dina is going to face a (near term) life of having to carry ID everywhere to prove her age. Let’s face it, any fake ID she might use (not that I think she would like to do so) would be very carefully examined. Or just disbelieved.
Ophidiophile
Waddaya mean? She totally saved it.
ktbear
I feel you may all be wrong and Dinas beef is actually with Becky for wanting to do this with Joyce and not her. Having Joyce pointing out the possible flaws in that scheme has made it seem like that is unlikely to happen the way Dina would like it to. I could be wrong of course, I was once back in 1996 but tbf I was only four at the time…
Needfuldoer
Added on top of the fact that Dina is well aware that she’s Becky’s rebound from Joyce.
bejouled
I accidentally reported your comment! I’m sorry!
Doctor_Who
Bouncer: “This ID says you are…a velociraptor?”
Dina: “That is correct.”
Bouncer: “Date of birth: 65 Million BC. Let’s see, it’s January, 16.5 million leap years…yeah, you’re good, come on in.”
Joyce: ⊙▃⊙
Bryy
That bouncer was Kronk.
Owlmirror
3 nits:
1) Geologists and paleontologists do not use BC for mya (millions of years ago), but BP, which means “Before Present”, where “Present” actually means “1950”, because 1950 is when radiometric dating gets hinky due to radioactive nuclear fallout from fission bomb testing. (Things that are on the order of ~10 kya might be young enough that BC or BCE could be an appropriate date reference)
2) While 65 mya is the popular idea of when the end-Cretaceous extinction event took place, it is based on older research. Better radiometric dating has put the end of the Cretaceous as being 66 mya. The adjustment only took place a little more than a decade ago, so it’s unsurprising the older date is still knocking around, but nevertheless.
3) WikiP:Velociraptor actually suggests that velociraptors actually lived from 76-71 mya, although that may just mean that’s the datings for the examples known and found. But older wouldn’t hurt.
(Why am i nitpicking a joke? Because SCIENCE!!! Come to think of it, Dina probably would as well.)
Mano308gts
One nit for your nit-picking….
It’s highly likely that 90% of the 65m years statements you see are just people rounding numbers off… I’ve heard 66m years for my entire life; but numbers get rounded to 5s and 0s for ease of calculation.
darkoneko
oh get off your high horses already
Proxiehunter
I assure you officer, my horse is completely sober.
FlamestAndLight
*Horse, joint in mouth* “Does anyone have a light? . . . Bad time?”
eh, whatever
Stoned-cold sober, heh heh
egon
fr, joyce is just right about this one
Charles Phipps
Dinah is never going to be Joyce’s friend, is she?
Coatl
The last time they interacted, Joyce said that she would try to improve with Dina, in fact, in the end they shared a smile as a sign of agreement.
Psychie
And I would argue that this interaction WAS Joyce trying to be better. She knew her reasoning was potentially offensive, and made an effort to make it as impersonal and objective as possible to try and soften the blow. Speaking from experience, when you know you’re not going to be able to sell a lie or deflection, it’s better to just rip the bandaid off and say the thing you know they won’t like, and try to be as kind as you can possibly figure out how to be.
Azhrei Vep
I agree. Joyce was trying. But she went way overboard in her assurances and just became irritating about it. But she’s definitely trying.
And failing.
Schpoonman
Sucking at something is the first step to being good at something. There is no journey without the first steps, even if you mostly stumble and fall when you begin.
zee
Yeah, this is just the equivalent to “he uses they/them pronouns”. She’s very clearly trying to be sensitive about a topic that’s touchy for Dina. She’s just terrible at it lol, always has been always will be. Some people are clumsy and trip on their first few steps, but they’re still determined to make it to the finish line
anon
i mean other than being actively hostile they don’t rly need to be each other’s friends or anything even if becky is still one of joyce’s best friends but hopefully they can reach an understanding.
but i don’t see them voluntarily hanging out one on one versus just group outings or so
Zuzi
I think they could eventually be friends, or at least on friendly terms.
It will take some time to get to that point, not just because Joyce has some serious unlearning to do, but also because Dina herself is coming into her own as an adult as well.
Amara
Yep. That’s exactly how arguments work. Nailed it Joyce.
anon
I think i’d still be irritated in the moment but would also appreciate joyce’s explanation of things, but wonder how many ppl would take it as a ‘challenge’ tho other than it being a ‘youthful mistake’ or so, even with a group of friends as part of the experience once, doesn’t rly seem worth it to just be dumb and drunk (esp when you can do dumb fun things together sober XD)
IntangibleMatter
It’s impressive how fast Joyce is digging this hole
She should use these digging skills to make a tunnel through the massive snow pile instead
Needfuldoer
She’ll hollow the thing out in 5 minutes.
True Survivor
I mean she’s not wrong, exactly.
Rabbit
She’s literally not wrong- Dina is very frequently mistaken as much younger and we do not see her express any interest in doing what they did to get into said bar (makeup and clothes wise)
Also becky 100% would have blown it on her own tbf
Psychie
Yeah, Becky seems like she’d be the *worst* kind of bad liar, the kind that can’t help but make leading statements with an “I know something you don’t know” tone of voice, as a professional liar (magician) it is always *incredibly* painful to encounter. My brother is like that, my former best friend was like that, but like, seriously, how hard is it to just treat the lie as though it’s reality so you can sell it with a straight face? You don’t need to believe it’s true, just operate *as though* it were true and no signs of deception get through, it’s genuinely not difficult.
Doctor_Who
Oh come on, we all know Dina can just magically appear in the bar without ever actually going through the door. Girl’s got offscreen Nightcrawler powers.
Clif
Fair point.
HueSatLight
Not that she knows it, but the bouncer wasn’t checking any ids.
anon
Given how close the university is that they were able to get there by walking distance, i’m surprised they wouldnt be double checking everyone just to be safe unless it’s just like “the actual uni students old enough to drink legally come more than ppl trying to sneak in”
Segnosaur
If I remember correctly, didn’t they have (fake) hand-stamps?
I’m not sure how exactly it worked, but my assumption is that the bouncer would have seen the stamps, believed the stamps were legitimate, and thought “I have already checked these people when they got stamped” and just let them in.
thejeff
They went in with the group of presumably-older-enough ladies and got their hands stamped by the bouncer.
The stamps let the bartender serve them, since they’d obviously been checked by the bouncer.
Segnosaur
Maybe I misunderstood.
Back when I went to university, there would sometimes be bars or parties that would stamp your hand when you entered. That way if you left for some reason (to go smoke, or whatever) you could come back and they would know you had already paid the cover charge, checked for ID, etc..
I assumed they had done something like that in the comic, since they showed their hand stamps several strips before they actually ordered anything from the bartender..
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2024/comic/book-14/03-trystin-in-the-wind/dont-be-suspicious/
thejeff
But that the panel after they got by the bouncer, presumably getting their hand stamped by him. Showing it off to each other because they were excited to have pulled it off.
Psychie
To be fair, they *did* sneak in with a group of girls that were (supposedly) *obviously* over 21. Sure, bars are supposed to card anyone who looks younger than 35 (if I’m remembering the training course I had to take made by the Indiana state government to get certified to handle alcohol here correctly), just in case, and some in the area will just card everybody regardless as a matter of policy, but if a bouncer has been particularly busy I could totally see one just waving a group through, especially if said bouncer doesn’t actually care (which is definitely the case with some of them). It’s also possible that the bouncer knew one of the girls in the group, and was like “well, I *know* that she is 23, and she said she was going out with her fellow grad students, so everyone in the group must be of similar ages and thus old enough, no need to bother them with ID checks”. Still against the rules, but a common enough thing.
Proxiehunter
There has to be a better way of saying it though. Not that my autistic ass can puzzle out the way of acknowledging the fact that it’s simply true there’s no way a bouncer or bartender is going to buy that Dina is 21 without sounding like I’m personally infantalizing her.
The art isn’t realistic enough to be entirely sure but my impression is that Dina is shorter than average for her age, not very well endowed, and for lack of a better term has “a baby face”. Even if you take her out of the clothing she prefers and put her in an evening gown and impeccable makeup there’s a very high chance the bouncer/bartender would assume she’s a twelve or thirteen year old trying to trick them. And that is something Dina is likely going to have to deal with until she starts getting visible grey hairs at least.
There has got to be a way to acknowledge the fact that others will treat her as much younger than she actually is without making it seem like you’re treating her as younger than she actually is. And like I said I don’t know what that way is but having actually treated her as if she’s younger than she actually is in the past is absolutely not helping Joyce here.
Psychie
There isn’t a good way to say it, Joyce kinda fumbled it here, but her basic strategy really is the best one available. When the answer to a question is something you *know* the other person won’t like to hear, but you know you won’t be able to sell a lie or deflection, the best option is to just be honest, acknowledge that the reality sucks, and make it clear it’s not a personal attack, just an objective observation. Joyce is trying to do that, but she’s putting too much emphasis on “don’t get mad at me” and not enough on empathy. Sometimes you can’t avoid hurting someone’s feelings, so instead of trying to, you’re better off doing your best to soften the blow as much as possible and then focus on helping them feel better again afterward.
Mark
I’d probably try to make a conversational opening for Dina to say it herself. Still unpleasant for her, but maybe easier to accept?
Yotomoe
I mean if I was Joyce I probably woulda just said “the more of us there were, the greater our risk of failure”
Also if I was Joyce I’d make out with Joe a whole bunch.
Kyrik Michalowski
Is that all you would do…?
SailorCakes
I agree with all of this ^^^^
Dean
When she’s 35 and still being carded, Dina will be envied by her friends. Which doesn’t help her now, admittedly.
Cholma
And this is how Dina is representative of David “baby face” Willis! He got carded for alcohol not too long ago!
DinaJoyce