509

Placate
Posted on September 4, 2013 by David M Willis

509 thoughts on “Placate”

  1. Gottawonder

    I don’t like her either.

    1. KingMabel

      It’s weird. If he weren’t gay she would be the best mom ever. But this got bad in the best way.

      1. Romanticide

        I don’t think so. I am sure everything thing that she ever disliked Ethan to do would also make him a “disapointment” too :S

        1. KingMabel

          Ok, minus the whole disappointed in him being gay thing and not accepting him for who he is, she is encouraging him to have sex… that gets 1 point, right?

        2. Totz the Plaid

          No, because that’s creepy as fuck.

        3. Chrissy

          She’s only telling him to have sex to try to drive the gayness out, not to make him happy

        4. Paul

          It’s funny, because with a different context, I could see that last line being humorously endearing, in an awkward way. But here, it’s just, just terrible.

        5. Jacknoir

          yea From walky’s mom this would be the greatest line ever

        6. Anonymous

          Ahh. That last panel /would/ be pretty awesome in a completely different situation.

          (As a general reaction: No title text, I do not like her either. The third panel is horrible. There’s also the ‘children do not exist for their parents’ sake, parents exist for their children’s sake’ matter.)

        7. KKoro

          Have you guys had the “why the fuck don’t I have (great) grandkids yet” family members?

          It is not endearing, it’s frustrating as hell.

        8. Seerow

          +1

        9. Secha

          Yes. Yes it is. We’ve had family call us specifically to ask us just when we’re going to have kids. Um, we’ve been married THREE MONTHS. Give us some time, kthx.

        10. Volkai

          As a complete tangent and/or non sequitor, you have the best avatar.

        11. katzgoboom

          No, thank god. Other relatives being that way toward me or my siblings, however, will send my mother on an angry hour-long rant about how her happiness is not dependent on grandkids and how horrible it is that it is even a thing. She’ll do that to the relative’s face.

        12. string

          I love your mom. So much. I have been getting relatives telling me to settle down and have kids since I was 18.

        13. Tachyon

          Heck, I get that talk from my parents (mother especially) all the time, and I’m not even with anybody.

          But when they ask me that, I just turn around and ask why I have no siblings. They shut up pretty quick.

        14. alex

          oh god, i hate that conversation.

        15. Nena

          I am lucky that my mother is okay with either option. If I don’t have kids, she is okay with it. If I do, she is okay with it. I’d be the same if I had a kid. To me a kid would be a blessing in itself. Grand kids are icing on the cake.

        16. Aeyt

          just don’t give your parents a grandchild from a drunken one-night-stand. that convo is pretty awkward all by itself. even at age 30. trust me.

        17. DSS92

          Yeah but she loses infinite points for being a bigot and a terrible mother.

      2. Arkadi

        If Ethan weren’t gay, she’d just find something else to be disappointed about: there’s simply no pleasing a Jewish mom, whether in film, TV or webcomic. I just hope, for the sake of Jewish folks out there, that Real Life Jewish moms aren’t like that :/

        1. vsophi

          Maybe Joe’s?

        2. taekwondogirl

          I dunno if my mom fits any part of the Jewish mom archetype other than wanting to feed everyone. Not sure if her depression affects this, but from the sounds of it, *her* mom fit the bill much more closely and she didn’t want to repeat that.

        3. Zap Rowsdower

          Pretty much the same with mine, actually. Might be a generational thing.

        4. Tachyon

          Ahem. “Rowsdower. Where’s the boy?”

        5. wynne

          Um, Fran Fine (Nanny, technically, but definitely a surrogate mother).

      3. Gus

        As a straight male, I would be really, really not-okay with my mom telling me to fuck someone. I can’t speak for non-straight non-males. My mom does not have permission to demand that of me.

        1. Jon P

          I can imagine my dad saying that, and it would be ridiculous and would never actually happen. But I just cannot even imagine my mother telling me to bang the hell out of some girl.

        2. ICSM

          My mom kind of said something along those lines. completely different context, tho.

          She was discussing pre—marital sex with someone and arguing that sex is a big deal in a relationship, so everyone should have some sex before putting a ring on somebody else’s finger, to avoid discovering too late that your partner does not satisfy you.

          So yeah. I love my mom is awesome.

        3. ICSM

          *I love my mom, and she is awesome.

        4. katzgoboom

          Angry Mom Rant #2 (mentioned #1 in a comment above): how stupid waiting until marriage is because you’ll just end up getting married too young just so you can have sex and she saw that all the time in college and thought it was stupid and that you need to make sure you’re sexually compatible before you get married. She has given me this rant, along with the “use ALL THE BIRTH CONTROLS you shouldn’t get pregnant unless you want to” rant, which is usually tied into Angry Mom Rant #2, and #1.

        5. DarkVeghetta

          You know, your mother sounds pretty hot when she’s on a angry rant rampage. Bravo on being a good wingman.

        6. Roborat

          That is pretty much what we told our kids.

        7. Bill

          My mom always told me to make her a mother-in-law and a grandmother — in that order.  My dad told me to “keep your pecker in your pants and you won’t have any problems”.  No wonder I’m as effed-up as I am today.

        8. Nena

          Yeah, that is a violation of boundaries, eh?

        9. Aeyt

          I’m a het-male (straight dude for those not hip to that term). many years ago my mother encouraged exploring sex with multiple partners so that I would know if I was sexually compatible with the woman I will someday marry because couples mostly argue about sex and money. She also warned me that I better not be a selfish lover because she didn’t want a daughter-in-law that wasn’t being satisfied by her son. She however used much more graceful language than fuck her over and over.

        10. Aeyt

          me and my mom are cool though. we talk about everything. she’s my bff.

        11. FuryOfFirestorm

          I’m a non-straight male, and I’d have a huge problem if my parents told me that I should “fuck the gay away”. Because straight sex is like eating okra. It’s slimy and gross, but if I try it enough times, i’ll develop a taste for it, obviously!

      4. Sigma Octantis

        My mom’s like that. Well, not that extreme, but she often tells me to go out there, meet someone and fuck that person. I don’t really like the personality of the woman I meet? Eh, it’s just sex, my mom had guys she didn’t like either. She says I have to gain experience.

        Let me tell you : It’s awkard as hell and I seriously don’t like it, I’d rather have a repressed mother. I’m also pretty sure that this beeing pushed by her is one of the several reason why I’m still a virgin. I can’t even meet a woman as friends without my mother telling me to make the next move. I tell her that I have no interest except beeing friends? Nah, I should gain experience!

        The only real difference to Ethans mother would be that my mother would accept me if I was gay. For some time she thought I was gay, and she told me that there were a lot of clubs where I could meet people. You know, to gain experience.

        1. Jessie

          Ohhh. So THAT’S how I keep my kids from having sex! Good to know!

        2. taekwondogirl

          There would be nothing wrong with what your mom was doing if she accepted your own feelings and stopped once you asked her to, and/or made it clear that your values didn’t line up with hers. What I just described kinda matches what Ethan’s mom is doing.

        3. JIntegrity

          In different context, it’d sound like she’s not happy with your current level and wants you to level a few times…

        4. Pat

          These are my thoughts.

      5. ADHadh

        Funny thing though, that’s sorta what Joyce’s mom wanted in the main Walkyverse.

      6. PetrePan

        What the fuck

        What the fuck kind of prayer-person is that supposed to be

        What religion is this, supposedly?

        1. xKiv

          “Be fruitful and multiply” is the closest I can get.

        2. Roborat

          Well, he has the fruitful part down anyway.

          .
          .

          Sorry, but someone was going to say it.

    2. Ryorin

      Likableness. She is lacking it.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        For a second I read that as she was life hacking.

        1. GoldStarz

          I’d like to perform a life hack on her.

    3. Endest

      We all love Ethan’s mom now. just for this.

      1. HK-A6A7

        Yeeeep, brutal honesty always wins the crowd.

        1. Zach

          THAT’S what put you off?

          I love me some brutal truth. Brutal truth for everybody!

        2. Tynam

          But then, Ruth is brutally truthful. Ethan’s mum is merely brutally honest, and the sentiment she’s being honest about is vile.

          Being honest about your bigotry makes you a higher-quality bigot, but you’re still a bigot. And in this case she’s failing parenting 101 while at it. Creepily.

    4. fezzam

      who are you agreeing with?

  2. Twirls

    what.

    1. Resne

      what.

      1. Variaman

        wat.

        1. Hopeless Savage

          wt.

        2. Cholma

          Que?

        3. The Candyman

          Quoi?

        4. Paul

          Quid?

        5. Tomb

          Shenma?

        6. Neolithicman

          什么

        7. Aizat

          Apa?

        8. Mark Sakura

          何？

        9. gears

          Was?

        10. Aizat

          ماذا؟

        11. Spryte

          Eh?

        12. Aizat

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzB2N9xnJk

        13. Björn

          Va?

        14. Maja!

          Hvad?

        15. Just for kix

          Enna?

        16. Baf

          Kio?

        17. Wuvmuffin

          뭐야?

        18. Squall

          Vadå?

        19. Lu86

          Shto?

        20. katzgoboom

          何ですか？

        21. JQuire

          Beth?

        22. Roborat

          Gary?

        23. awnman

          Don’t mind him he’s from Barcelona

      2. Thomas O.

        In da butt.

      3. Ocbrad1

        Whut?

    2. Prickly

      shto?

      1. JepMZ

        Ano?

    3. Bloody_Jerk

      wot

    4. SyntheticPhylum

      Oro?

    5. xKiv

      Who? Watt? Why? Where?

      1. Opus the Poet

        I DON’T KNOW!!

        1. Rex Hondo

          What’s all this, then?

        2. Rognik

          He’s on third.

  3. VizardJeffhog

    VICARIOUSLY HORNY FUTURE GRANDPARENTS

    1. KingMabel

      Horny isn’t the word…

      1. BayoWolf

        Damn, Willis, you really know how to strike a nerve in your fans with horrible parents. First the Browns, now this.

        1. BayoWolf

          Not supposed to be a reply, sorry. But while I am replying… salacious?

        2. KingMabel

          Better word.

  4. Mkvenner

    Wow, just wow.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yeah.

      Think Joyce would go for it if Ethan tells her his mom said so? Which is more powerful, her desire to remain pure, or her desire to follow the fifth commandment?

      1. Arkadi

        Joyce will want to preserve her purity until marriage. Something really big would have to go down for her to break that rule, I think.

        1. Jon P

          Well, I’m not sure the specific beliefs Joyce has. Does going down on something really big preserve her purity?

        2. The Candyman

          Yes, or so I’ve been told by the Clinton administration.

        3. Bill

          Clinton was wrong.  If you have to pay $100 and up at a Nevada brothel to get a hummer, trust me — getting/giving head is having sex.

        4. itachi_0501

          *blink* *blink* I think going down on something big is NOT the way one gently introduces someone to sexual love.

        5. The Candyman

          Do you have to graduate to the big stuff?

        6. xKiv

          There’s loophole!

        7. xKiv

          I should probably add that while the visuals in that video are probably SFW, the audio probably isn’t.

      2. Sweetums

        Where does it say she wants to kill him? O_o

        1. The Candyman

          Fifth, not sixth.

        2. sidhe3141

          Well, she does want to “behold him dead”.

      3. Bibulb

        The fifth commandment – that’s the one about self-incrimination, right?

        1. Aeyt

          I went from deadpan to cracking up hysterically at that. if someone seriously mixed up amendments and commandments I’d die.

        2. Squall

          And John Addams came down the mountain bearing the ten amendments set in stone only to find his people under communist rule. He overturned the golden statues of Lenin and said “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” And as he led his people through the Louisianna Purchase, food stamps rained down from heaven every night to feed them.

  5. Madness2.4

    …that did escalate quickly

  6. EvergreenFir

    “You only became a disappoint”

    FUCK YOU

    1. BayoWolf

      I think we’ve got a solid candidate for second worst parent (Blaine will always be the worst)

      1. Darth

        What about Mr and Mrs Brown?

        1. Speedball

          They’re creepy and insular, but well-meaning.

        2. Paul

          Technically, I’m sure Ethan’s mom is well-meaning. She seems like she cares about him. She’s just really horrible at it.

        3. BayoWolf

          That’s why I said “candidate”.

        4. Sammie1053

          Just you watch; Willis will throw us a curveball and make Joyce’s parents huge supporters of gay marriage.

        5. Nearphotison

          Maybe if it’s a gay guy marrying their daughter…

        6. TheLuggs

          Of course they like Ethan… While dating their daughter he’s not having gay sex, and actually being gay, means no sex with Joyce either… Now how to solve that pesky future grandchildren thing…

        7. Arkadi

          I don’t think they have anything against gays getting married: as long as they marry people of the opposite gender.

        8. Mr. Random

          I met a guy at college once who was like this. We argued for roughly an hour after a class. It was weird. Mostly his viewpoints boiled down too, he didn’t want gay couples to have children because he believed that would influence their sexual identity, and that marriage should be about love, not sexual attraction.
          It was weird because I can completely see where he was coming from, but disagreed so much. I couldn’t put my feelings into words after a while.

        9. ninja_jesus

          I hope you at least balled your feelings into fists, and then used those fists to pummel him.

          On a more serious note, did he not believe that marriage between two males/females is a marriage based on love? And did he not think that a child raised by a gay couple would be raised to decide for themselves in a way that is also based on love, just like them? There’s a contradiction in his reasoning somewhere.

        10. Heavensrun

          The notion that gay parents raise gay children is a notion that has been REPEATEDLY DISPROVED. And really, to point out how absurd it is, all you have to do is point out that almost every gay child in history was raised by STRAIGHT PARENTS.

        11. Pat

          “…and that marriage should be about love, not sexual attraction.”

          And that would be why you agreed with his points–because they supported your conclusion. This is bizarrely common with anti-gay arguments, actually.

      2. kelticat

        Blaine wins the prize for worst father.
        Ethan’smom a candidate for worst mother.
        Mrs. Walkerton also a candidate for worst mother.
        Faz and Howard are candidates for worst sibling.

        1. Charles Phipps

          Howard seems a pretty likable sibling in this continuity.

        2. Mr. Random

          Howard’s a little… Inept at social graces, but considering the guardian that’s able to make Ruth cower, I kinda understand.

        3. ninja_jesus

          I disagree with both Faz and Howard as worst sibling. Howard may be irritating and ignorant towards certain things, but he has at least shown genuine concern for Ruth. Also, we’ve barely even seen Faz, and regardless of the hella creepy comings-onto towards Dina, we haven’t seen ANYTHING to make him close to “the worst sibling”.

          Do you know who I would currently put as candidate for “Worst Sibling”? Joyce’s brother. He hasn’t done much thus far in the comic, and yet I would argue that right now, he’s worse than both Faz and Howard simply because although he was concerned for Joyce in the strip where her parents were dragging her away, he doesn’t actually do anything to help her or defend her from her parents. In fact, he actually tries to ditch the whole situation altogether; it may have been the smarter action to do, but it didn’t earn him any points toward being a “good sibling” either.

          (As a sidenote: the disproportionate amount of hate I’ve seen for both Faz and Howard is unfair in that the DoA universe is completely separate from the Walky multiverse, and whatever actions they did in the previous comics aren’t even relevant.)

        4. Greenygal

          If you’re arguing that inaction is the problem, though, surely that includes Faz? After all, he entirely ignored Blaine’s verbal abuse and threats towards Amber in favor of hitting on Dina.

        5. Reepicheep-chan

          tbf Faz is younger and Joyce’s brother is older.

        6. ninja_jesus

          What could Faz have done? He’s just a kid, whilst Joshua is an adult.

        7. kelticat

          I’m not hating on Faz and Howard. I just haven’t seen much in the wa of redeemable qualities from either of them.

          Meanwhile, no argument about Mrss. Siegal and Walkerton?

        8. kelticat

          *way

    2. Ragnal

      But really, how is that not the same thing as stopping to love someone?

      1. insomniac

        Eh… you can love someone who disappoints you.

        (I think I’ve disappointed most everyone who’s loved me, at one point or another.)

        1. insomniac

          Although, of course, “being gay” should not be a reason to make someone a disappointment.

        2. andyy

          there’s a difference between ‘I’m disappointed in you’ and ‘You are a disappointment’ though

          The second one is about who you are as a person, not about something you did that you could maybe fix, and it stings a heckuva a lot worse

      2. gangler

        You ever get super excited about an upcoming game, but then it’s doesn’t live up to the hype? It’s still a great game, and you have a lot of fun playing it, but it’s just not what you wanted it to be. Ever had a game like that?

  7. Kiggy

    Escalated quickly doesn’t begin to describe it.

  8. Vivvav

    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?

    1. Ryune

      Yes, precisely.

    2. Mr. Random

      I believe she wishes the ‘what’ to be Joyce.

  9. eyss

    this woman angers me.

  10. Super Duper

    You need to spread the Ethan Genes around, man. Get a bunch of protoform Ethans.

  11. Sam Lamourie

    Jesus Christ, Ethan’s mom is messed up.
    And she clearly didn’t get the memo that f**king (or a lack thereof) is sorta what got him into this mess in the first place.

    1. Sammie1053

      ¡Dios Mio!
      Why, autofill? Why would you post my real name on an internet comment board?

      1. Athedia

        I knew it! You are a Morey Eel who has an obsession with collecting things. I suspected all along.

      2. vonnegut

        FINALLY!!! *steals all the identity*

  12. Jarin

    I dunno, “go fuck her” seems like a downgrade of emotional abuse from the “you’re only a disappointment” line.

    1. Paul

      I agree. The last panel is over-the-top terrible, but it’s the third panel that would be absolutely soul-crushing.

    2. kelticat

      One of my mom’s favorite pastors really disliked going home to visit the family due to her mom’s racism and homophobia. Her brother was gay, and she was dating a gentleman from Trinidad, and her mother was disappointed with both of them. She called it ignoring the herd of elephants in the room.

  13. GDwarf

    Oh dear. We already knew Ethan’s love life was messed up, now we can get some perspective on why.

    This is just going to end in tears for…pretty much everyone involved, isn’t it?

    1. insomniac

      Oh, yes.

    2. Mr. Random

      And one raised eyebrow.

      1. The Candyman

        One raised eyebrow to rule them all.

  14. HMRC4EVR

    To quote Ron Stoppable..

    “That is sick and wrong! It’s Wrongsick!”

    Especially from someone’s mom.

    Did anyone find the brain bleach from a few strips ago? If there’s any left I could use some.

    1. AgentKeen

      Mrs. Siegal, you think you’re all that, but you’re not!
      You’re not!!

      1. KingMabel

        So the drama

        1. The Candyman

          That statement describes DoA pretty well, actually.

    2. Aizat

      If you don’t mind digging through Faz’s unmentionables….you’ll find the brain bleach.

    3. timemonkey

      Yay for quoting Ron. ^_^

  15. AgentKeen

    I’m glad you care for your son’s well-being?
    Wait, no, that’s not what’s happening here, nevermind.

  16. Yotomoe

    FUCK YOU MISS SIEGAL
    FUCK YOU ETHAN
    FUCK THE COMBINATION OF YOU TOO.
    I somehow hate you both more than Faz and Blaine right now.

    1. JebJeb

      Hate them more than Faz, Blaine and Howard? Or does including Howard tip the scales back to them?

      1. JBO

        Well he certainly can’t hate them more then Danny. That’s like scientifically impossible.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          Counterpoint: Mary.

          Even with the amount of hate Willis has admitted having for Blaine, he can’t even stand to write Mary _at all_.

        2. Chrissy

          I’ve only read DOA. Who is Mary?

        3. The Candyman

          Mary was a character who first showed up in Roomies way back when. She used to be a friend of Sal and Danny, but would give the both of them Hell for not upholding “purity” and straying from whatever wholesome image she constructed for them. She was also a total hypocrite, getting into wild parties, drinking alcohol, and even getting pregnant (and accusing others of lying when this was brought up, of course).

          She’s actually appeared in a few DoA strips: the storyline where Joyce brings Dorothy to church, most notably.

        4. John

          The girl who wasn’t dressed at 3 PM. She went to church with Joyce, Dorothy, and Sierra that time, and got all judgmental on them for not wearing shoes and being atheist and associating with atheists and so on. The Walkyverse version was a sanctimonious hypocritical bongo, and the Dumbiverse version doesn’t seem to have changed much.

        5. John

          Oh, right, character tags are a thing.

        6. John

          WARNING: Huge ROOMIES SPOILERS below.

        7. Regalli

          She was a very, very minor character in the old universe who was basically all the worst parts of the judgmental fundamentalist with none of the good ones. In particular, she judged Danny for his sexual tension with Billie (note that they had not slept together yet, but did eventually get together in the Walkyverse), and I seem to recall some stern disapproval about Billie being a recovering alcoholic at the time as well. Note that Billie was recovering after one of her best friends died due to an incident involving drunk driving. (It was Ruth, and it involved a truck. Now you know the source of those jokes.) At the end of Roomies, she got pregnant and decided to propose to a nearby sap (Howard) so she wouldn’t have to admit she had unmarried sex. And then I’m pretty sure she had an abortion. Basically, she was a very unpleasant character and the nicest thing you can really say about her is that she makes for a good hate sink and might someday, somehow develop into something less awful. But that would require being able to write or read about her without being consumed with pure hatred.

          In this universe, she’s Roz’s roommate. Her having a roommate who’s very sexually open amuses me, but I just now realized she’s also living with an ACTIVE PROPONENT OF SAFE SEX. That is excellent.

        8. andyy

          wow okay I did not know all that about Ruth and Billie’s storyline in Roomies just stab me in the heart why don’t you

        9. Regalli

          Yeah, sorry. It’s pretty brutal, yeah. Tried to keep spoilers to a minimum, but since we do make a lot of Ruth truck jokes it seemed like a relevant time to point it out, and the fact that Billie’s at such a low point in her life when Mary comes in just makes her actions all the worse.

        10. Yotomoe

          Please stop spoiling Roomies stuff Regalli. Or at the VERY least put a huge SPOILER ALERT above it.
          Willis was just on our case for this kind of thing <:T…

        11. Regalli

          Gah. Sorry! Should have thought to put a spoiler alert on it.

        12. Yotomoe

          Ethan and Ethan’s mom are currently at 2.5 Danny’s worth of hatred.

        13. AJBulldis

          So where are some other characters on this scale? Blane at 3.5 Dannyhates?

        14. Yotomoe

          Blaine is at 1.5.

        15. Raen

          Blaine doesn’t rate a full two Dannys? Geez…

        16. Curacaobill

          Dear god! If blain gets within 20 feet of them they might create a hate event horizon, leading to the extinction of all of mankind!

        17. Keroshino

          I shall name this the “Anti-Life Equation” 😀

        18. Squall

          That’s the real reason Ruth had him escorted out.

      2. Charles Phipps

        I like New Howard. He likes Game of Thrones and accepts his sister’s sexuality.

        1. John

          I’m not sure New Howard is entirely clear on what his sister’s sexuality is. Or the difference between boys and girls, for that matter. I think he may think that girls are just boys with boobs.

          I wouldn’t go so far as to say I like New Howard, but I am finding him considerably less offensive than Old Howard.

    2. Kiggy

      Blaine’s female counterpart?

      1. Arkadi

        Has she physically abused her husband and cheated on him?

    3. AJBulldis

      Wait why do you hate Ethan?

      1. Yotomoe

        By doing what he’s doing he’s basically saying “Yep. That bongo Amber made me gay. Thanks for going through the trouble telling me I’m not gay. We can now deconstruct that incredibly difficult summer Amber had doing damage control because I don’t respect her, Joyce, or myself. I basically am going to continue to lie to all three of us by simply ignoring the fact that I like dudes because that will make life easier for me at the moment. I get that he’s young and young people do stupid things and I know I SHOULDN’T hate him for it…but it’s so violently inconsiderate and just…humongous dick move. These people will never change because you’ve basically told them that they were right and that being gay was just a bad choice he made. He is hurting his own people and basically is inadvertedly progressing homophobic beliefs all in one fell swoop.

        1. GDwarf

          So the fact that he’s clearly been raised in an anti-gay environment and that his outing was clearly met with horror and “disappointment” doesn’t matter at all?

          I mean, yes, he’s being a jerk to Joyce and, to an extent, his mom (though he probably doesn’t realize the latter) but he’s also pretty clearly in deep denial himself, and just trying to find some way to get things back to how they were.

          So yeah. Obviously he’s made some stupid/bad decisions here, but he’s not malicious, just trying to find some way to make the emotional pain stop.

        2. Heavensrun

          When you are causing real harm to other people, you actions may be understood, even forgiven, but that does not mean they are -excused-.

        3. Blue

          Who are his actions harming other than himself though? Maybe retroactively Amber since this pretty much justifies his mother’s thoughts on her, but they haven’t even spent much time together since coming to college.
          At this point, Joyce is fully aware of Ethan’s sexuality. While she thinks she can ‘change’ him, that stems from her own misguided beliefs. It’s not like he’s lying to her anymore.

        4. takashid

          I come from a couple months into the future to let you know he is definitely hurting Amber.

        5. AJBulldis

          Alright, I figured it was something along those lines. Just checking.

        6. Spiny Creature

          …Or he’s trying to get his mother to like him again because he’s a quasi-emotionally-abused teenager and his parents pay for his college/all his stuff?

          I mean, yes. In an ideal world he would tell his mom to fuck off and go blow some dudes while high-fiving Amber. Too bad he still wants his parents’ approval like some sort of douchebag!

        7. Yotomoe

          I made a point that I understand this. I do. But that doesn’t mean he’s not spitting in the face of the people who helped him. I know he’s young, and young people make dumb decisions. Regardless his reason it’s still really terrible. I’m sorry to say that.
          He has his reasons.
          He’s young and emotionally vulnerable.
          He’s being kind of a dick by doing this.
          Sorry to say.

        8. newllend

          I agree, he’s not a bad person he’s just foolish, I mean there’s nothing wrong with wanting your parents respect back, but its kind of unfair too Joyce and amber.

        9. Shade

          It’s pretty obvious what you’re saying:

          You get why he’s doing what he’s doing.

          Doesn’t mean you like it.

        10. newllend

          Yup

        11. Greenygal

          Um. Look, I think Ethan is making bad choices here too, but it’s not his responsibility to change his parents’–or anyone else’s–views on homosexuality. He gets to make his own decisions about how to handle his sexuality, and he’s not required to make a statement with them.

          I’m also really disinclined to judge a teenage boy who’s trying to find a way to make his mother like him again. The fact that he says that, apparently in all seriousness…I think it’s unfair to dismiss that as “making his life easier”. That’s a terrible thing to feel.

        12. Yotomoe

          It’s not his duty to change their views, no. But…I dunno…it feels wrong to just allow yourself to perpetuate something because it’s easy. I will give you this. He can handle it any way he wants just how I can handle my sexuality any way I want. That doesn’t mean he’s not hurting people.

          And yeah, I guess his mother will never change and he’s just trying to make her proud of him and he has no hindsight and all of that. I mean…yeah…I hate her much more than Ethan to even bring him to this point. I’m just not a fan of how this is going even though it’s understandable WHY it’s happening.

        13. Lamachine

          As someone who kinda did what Ethan is doing, I must say: I was being an asshole.
          So, sure, sometimes you have reasons to be an asshole. Doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to do.
          (Which is my way to say: I entirely agree with Yotomoe)

      2. Thor

        Why wouldn’t he hate Ethan? Ethan is less hateworthy than Danny, but that’s not saying much. Here he is at college, a place that he could actually be who he is and find people who will accept him as he is, and instead he goes for the strange psycho-drama of re-closeting himself, as it worked so well the first time.

        Back in the Walkyverse, pre-Shortpacked, Mike and Walky were my #1 and #2 least-favorite characters. (To be fair, I never really got to know Danny.) Here, they are strong, interesting characters who can always be counted on to liven up the goings-on. Danny, on the other hand, never fails to fail, and always succeeds in sucking the life out of whatever room he’s in. And Ethan makes me want to pick up the monitor and try to shake all the stupid out. Plus they get in the way of the true stars of this strip–The Women! I want to see more of Dorothy, Dina, Amber, Sara, Ruth, Billie, and even Joyce. When Danny and Ethan do not serve to facilitate this, they do not serve at all.

        1. Andrusi

          I, too, despise people who make mistakes.

      3. gears

        I personally don’t because I’ve seen this in real life. I had a friend in High School who was very, very gay. He came out to his parents, and then he wasn’t around for a while. He came back and until High School ended was the worst fake straight guy you ever saw. Came out again within a year of graduating. It was sad, and I pity the girl that was his beard, but nothing hate worthy, just a kid trying to cope with who he was.

    4. Memyself

      Why hate Ethan? He seems to be a victim.

      1. Yotomoe

        If a hostage joins his assailant and assists them then he is now an accomplice.

        1. GDwarf

          And so everyone in Vichy France was just as bad as the Nazis?

          No one thinks Ethan’s in the right here, he clearly isn’t, but he’s also the main victim. The harm he’s dealing out to others is orders of magnitude less than what he’s been through already and is trying to find some way to cope with. People do stupid things sometimes. People who have been through major emotional trauma especially. I find it pretty much impossible to hold the actions of such a person against them.

        2. Yotomoe

          If Blaine punches Amber’s mom because he was punched as a kid, that doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make it right. People are dumb. But that’s not a very good excuse.

        3. Paul

          This. I don’t think most people here realize what an impossibly hard situation Ethan is in here. From his perspective, by coming to his realization of his sexuality, he’s lost the respect (or even the love) of his parents, the closeness of the most powerful relationship he’s had to date (Amber), and any sense of control in his own life. I challenge anyone here to live through it, and not find yourself doing, thinking or saying things that are “wrong,” with 20/20 hindsight.

        4. Yotomoe

          Yeah, that’s understandable. Doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at him for making a bad decision. You can explain a lot WHY he’s doing it, but I know how this will end and I know he’s just burying himself deeper into a corner. I’m mad cuz I really don’t like this decision.

        5. gears

          If I got mad at everyone who ever made a bad decision, I would be mad at everyone most of the time. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

        6. Yotomoe

          Yes, but decisions have magnitude. This is something that will only hurt everyone involved.

        7. Heavensrun

          You can still be mad at them -WHILE- they’re perpetuating the bad decision. I imagine if Ethan wises up and starts being himself again, Yotomoe’s rage would probably subside considerably.

        8. Lu86

          “Doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at him for making a bad decision. You can explain a lot WHY he’s doing it, but I know how this will end and I know he’s just burying himself deeper into a corner. I’m mad cuz I really don’t like this decision.”

          THis, in a nutshell, is probably what Ethan’s mom thinks.

        9. Arkadi

          Someone said ‘Nazis’? c:

        10. Charles Phipps

          To clarify about Vichy France, a lot of them were actually worse than “typical” Nazis as they went above and beyond what Hitler expected of them. They *REALLY* wanted to prove they were loyal to the Reich and that….well, backfired in a very karmic way.

          How did we get to discussing this?

        11. Arkadi

          Godwin’s law ^^ It never fails.

        12. Lu86

          SURPRISE GODWIN bongoES!

      2. Thor

        From the right perspective, we are all victims, and we are all helpless constructs of the combination of our nature and our nurture. Then you can bring in the question of free will, and things start getting shouty.

  17. Lavaticmay

    Ethan, you mom just told her Gay son to fuck a super religious girl currently get the word of The Lord shoved down her throat and you’re using memes… Seriously?

    1. Heavensrun

      It’s an accurate description!

  18. Wonder Wig

    If ever an asteroid just needed to fall from the sky and strike someone down…

    1. Totz the Plaid

      …it should still hit Blaine.

      1. JBO

        Asteroids are known to break apart when entering the athmosphere.
        Best example: the triassic-jurassic extinction event.

        1. The Candyman

          Then they will get hit by burning meteors.

      2. Yotomoe

        But if it could crash through Ethan’s dorm on the way to hit Blaine.

    2. Aizat

      An asteroid? Too good for ’em, I say. Now, a mountain of hardened feces, now that’s OK.

      1. Rex Hondo

        I wonder what the odds are of an asteroid strike vs. getting hit by “blue ice.”

  19. Sensedog

    I’m not a fan of Naomi either, but that doesn’t make the last panel any less hilarious on it’s own.

    1. Totz the Plaid

      Agreed. I still hate her, but that made me laugh.

  20. Endest

    OOOOOOOOOOOH BURNEEDDDD

  21. Totz the Plaid

    “I never stopped loving you. You only became a disappointment.”

    Fuck you, Naomi, and not in a literal way because you might enjoy that. Go die in the same fire that will first kill Blaine.

    1. Kernanator

      A fire made out of punches.

      1. JBO

        Vote of hands for a one strip cross over with One Piece so Ace can do the fire punching?

        1. Totz the Plaid

          I’ve never taken the time to get into One Piece, but sure, I’ll go for that!

        2. Yotomoe

          Nope. I’m gonna need LUFFY to do the fire punching.

        3. JBO

          Oh right Armament Haki enduced Gum Gumo Red Hawk. I can get down to that.

        4. Yotomoe

          If that shiz can light on fire underwater then it must be friggin’ hot.

        5. Aizat

          Or hell, a combination of Luffy’s fire punch and Goku’s Dragon Fist.

        6. Regalli

          Come aboard and bring along all your hopes and dreams!
          Together we will find everything that we’re looking for!
          (Hint: It’s assholes getting punched with fire.)

        7. gangler

          So long as we’re nominating characters, June of The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs can make a swarm of firebees. They have fully functional stingers made entirely of fire, so they burn while they sting.

        8. Kernanator

          why are you describing my ultimate nightmare.

  22. Bob

    “but Mom, my relationship is based on a mutual revulsion against fuckin’!”

  23. TSB

    Oh my god, this story is a neverending cornucopia of new lows of pain and emotional abuse

    can we go back to the Keeners sweetly supporting and encouraging Dorothy now, please

    1. John

      Or the Snows. We didn’t see much of them, but they seem cool.

    2. The Candyman

      Or better yet, the Warners.

      1. John

        The Warners kind of creep me out. And I’m still not convinced that they haven’t just been trolling their son for the last 18 years.

        1. The Candyman

          I can see that, but I still totally want to be Mr. Warner when I become a parent (wearing a suit, smoking a pipe, calling my kid “sport” whenever possible, the whole shebang). With that comes the possibility of my child turning out like Mike, but that’s the price of being awesome.

      2. Leonou

        Let’s make a Joyfest of nice parents/children !

        Take the saruyamas ! Bring the Snows ! Gather your Keeners and add one Sarah !
        Salt with warners and Tadaaa!

        Then Willis will be able to bring down on them all the awfullness he’s got prepared. It will save time for him, and our hearts will be ripped only once.

  24. Juliecat

    I hope you got permission from my mom to use her in this storyline 🙁

    1. Romanticide

      I am sorry 🙁

    2. Zach

      We’re here for you Juliecat. I’m here for you.

    3. Arkadi

      We feel you :c

  25. JBO

    I don’t promote violence of any kind normally.
    But damn we need some punching in here. Where is Sarah when you need her?

    1. Greenygal

      I suspect Sarah is hiding in the library until this storyline is done. I cannot blame her, if so.

    2. Rex Hondo

      Joyce is saving her Sarah summons for a boss encounter.

  26. TJ

    So, at some point this just became “Bad Parents: A Webcomic.”

    1. Jack Finch

      Yeah. Is this Dumbing of Age or Middle Aged Dummies?

    2. xKiv

      That point is probably 04-just-hanging-out-with-my-family.

  27. The Candyman

    I’ve actually been waiting for the whole “begging for grandkids” thing. But not like this, admittedly.

  28. Doom Shepherd

    I feel the need to Gibbs-slap everyone in this strip.

  29. Norj

    Bad mother go sit in a corner.

  30. Gram91

    Wow, I don’t know who I like less, her or Joyce’s parents.

    1. Rani

      I have a feeling we’re about to find out in a couple of strips.

    2. MM

      Joyce’s parents at least seem to accept and trust her. It’s the rest of the world they consider threatening.

    3. TheLuggs

      i’m sure the parents will love each other…

  31. Ragnal

    And we’re at the perverted grandparents stage now.

  32. AJBulldis

    Wow.

    It’s like half the parents are trying to compete for the worst parent award. Danny’s parents really have to step up their game.

  33. Yotomoe

    I’m sorry y’all. I don’t know why but these two have pushed me over the edge. I can’t comment on this without it being pure rage. I just can’t stand this in its entirety.

    1. Gram91

      You think this is bad? I’ve heard there are camps that people send their kids to try to make them not gay.

    2. Regalli

      The thing is, what she’s basically been saying is “Oh, you’re telling me you’re not attracted to people it’s socially acceptable for you to be? And this puts you up for serious discrimination and self-hatred caused by society telling you your entire life that you’re wrong and shouldn’t exist? And society tells you this is something that is not just wrong with you, but something you consciously choose to do and be wrong? And makes you more likely for violence and suicide? And you’re letting me know something very, very personal about you, and I’m your mother and one of the people you’re looking to to tell you that it’s okay? You’re wrong, what you’re doing is wrong, and you should try to fix yourself. If you can’t, you’re just not trying hard enough and something inside you is wrong. Let me just confirm all the things society says so that it makes you feel that much worse about yourself.”

      My parents were totally awesome about me coming out, and this still hurts because I know people like this, I have other family members like this. I knew I had an environment I was safe in and I still kept it bottled up for so long it eventually just exploded and probably worsened an already bad mental state in the process. If my parents reacted like Naomi did, the people who are supposed to be supportive of you? I don’t know how things would have gone, but it would not have been pretty.

      1. Regalli

        So yeah, I don’t blame you for hating her as much as you do, because it just strikes a really bad nerve.

      2. Yotomoe

        ^^^

  34. Gram91

    He hasn’t told her yet that Joyce is an extreme Chrstian.

    1. Totz the Plaid

      I look forward to the Siegals and Browns destroying each other. Maybe leave Saul out of it because we don’t have much idea about his personality yet, but the other three? Let ’em destroy each other.

      1. Shade

        I’m hoping that those three don’t actually meet. Pretty sure that there’s a good chance of it going the opposite way that you want, and that would just get ugly real fast.

    2. Rani

      Ethan takes her to meet the Browns. In the crazy dormroom holy war/ethical clusterfuck that ensues, Joyce and Ethan quietly realize the error of their ways and something good comes out of this parents day because seriously parents day what the fuck

      1. AgentKeen

        Finally, we learn the true wisdom of Ruth’s words.

        We all should’ve found a bomb shelter and hid, because seriously parents day what the fuck. (I propose that we can only rename ‘parents day’ to that whole last phrase, cause it seems appropriate.)

  35. NerdHerder

    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

  36. ridtom

    Ok What The Fuck just happened?!

    1. KingMabel

      A mother told her son that he disappointed her by being gay, then told him to fuck his girlfriend until he stopped liking guys. I get that right?

      1. BayoWolf

        No, specifically that he was a disappointment for her because he was gay. I think the wording of that is very important right now.

        1. Paul

          Yeah, that’s a crucial distinction.

        2. TheLuggs

          i think most parents feel some disappointment when they learn their kid is gay. This is natural because some expectations are not met. That does not mean they think their child is a disappointment, nor does it mean they love their child any less. so yes, the distinction though subtle is very important.

        3. Heavensrun

          A disappointment is, in a sense, something you wish hadn’t happened. If your son disappoints you, you wish the thing they -did- hadn’t happened. If your son is a disappointment, you wish -they- hadn’t happened, or were at least fundamentally different from what they are. So yeah. That’s a critical distinction, to me.

  37. Lavaticmay

    Yes, because having sex with a girl will have to make him straight.

    1. Yotomoe

      Worked the first time. Oh wait, that was Amber’s fault.

      1. The Candyman

        Nah, getting with Amber turned him gay. Therefore, the only way for him to become straight is to bang some dudes.

  38. Plasma Mongoose

    She’s taking it well… *facepalm*

  39. Fuzzydaemon

    I don’t have hatred for Ethan, but a great deal of sympathy. On the other hand, mother is awful. Rather incestuous, I’d say, trying to control his sex life. I think I need to hurl, now.

  40. Kernanator

    Oh Naomi, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways…

    1. Luzahn

      You have exceeded numbers.

      1. Heavensrun

        I just got to “one”. They way is “completely”.

    2. AJBulldis

      I love you to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

      1. AJBulldis

        CRITICAL FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    3. sidhe3141

      long number_of_ways=Count_The_Ways(Naomi, “Hate”);
      System.Console.Write(number_of_ways);

      //Error Log:
      //Warning: Overflow detected in method Count_The_Ways.
      //Warning: Overflow detected in method Count_The_Ways.
      //Warning: Overflow detected in method Count_The_Ways.

      //Output:
      //10

  41. Joebo

    -____-

  42. Rani

    It’s like a snapshot from Norman Bates and his mom. But somehow worse.

    How did a psychopath like that raise a milquetoast like Ethan again?

    1. Rex Hondo

      Constant repression.

    2. John

      He takes after his dad?

    3. Ongion

      Secretly the Hulk?

  43. The Candyman

    And Saul is just sitting there like a rock.

    1. VizardJeffhog

      With his raised eyebrow of wonderment.

    2. KingMabel

      He may not agree with wifey, but he likes sleeping in his own bed and she has the car keys.

    3. Yotomoe

      Saul is totally not there. He’s just put a Cardboard standee while he waits for his wife to calm herself.

      1. The Candyman

        So he’s really having a beer with the faculty and sharing stories about married life?

        1. Rex Hondo

          He’s with Joe’s dad and Amber’s mom making a gloriously facial-haired, Jewish Eiffel Tower.

        2. Yotomoe

          That’s terrible and awful and great at the same time.

  44. Philippe G.

    no Ethan’s mom don’t be a bad mother
    be a good mother

  45. Touchfuzzy

    … Do any of these people just have normal everyday parents? You know, not douchebags, but not written like an attempt to be perfect.

    1. The Candyman

      Well, there’s the Snows. Amber’s mom is kind of a borderline example.

    2. Regalli

      We haven’t seen enough of Sierra’s parents for them to be written as unrealistically perfect. And the Saruyamas really aren’t bad or good, they merely exist.

      1. Froggert

        I’d say the Saruyamas are good people. They didn’t realize Blaine was a terrible person when they let him in the room, they were just being hospitable. They tried to apologize once they realized what a dick he was.

    3. Shade

      One could argue that Dr. Rosenthal is one. And Mike’s parents.

  46. Rex Hondo

    Wow…

    Just… wow.

    I really want this woman to mouth off to Amber again so Amber has an excuse to punch her face inside out.

    1. John

      I… don’t think Amber would deal well with that right now. Maybe some other day.

      1. Rex Hondo

        True, there’s no rush. I’m pretty sure that Amazi-Girl knows where the Siegels live.

      2. Arturo

        Where the hell is Mike when you actually need him?

        1. Rex Hondo

          “She lusts! I get to hit her!”

  47. John Madden

    le fuck

    Seriously, that’s an awful thing to say (given the circumstances).

  48. Treb Meister

    FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER FUCK HER, DO IT NOW, BEND HER OVER AND FUCK HER, joyce of course, fuck her now.

    1. Rheinman

      This should make for interesting dinner conversation with Joyce’s parents. Perhaps dinner and a show?

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      But wouldn’t that be like incest??

  49. Variaman

    Jesus how does everybody at this school have terrible parents?!

    1. AJBulldis

      Mike has wonderful parents.

      1. Shade

        While technically true, they are a bit too wonderful. After all, they produced Mike, and we all know what he’s like.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Sierra also has great parents.

      1. AJBulldis

        Now there’s a couple I could ship all the way across the ocean. They already go to church together…sort of!

      2. gangler

        Dorothy’s parents seemed pretty supportive.

    3. Yotomoe

      Dina’s parents are DINO-MITE.

    4. Aizat

      Well, the Walkertons aren’t that bad….ish.

      1. The Candyman

        Walky’s dad isn’t so bad.

  50. Varangian

    …..did I really just read t….

    ……..

    …..

    …………………

    ….soooo this puts Joyce’s family third in the running, right? I mean, I know they share a belief system with this…er…”lovely” lady, but…..bu…t…..

  51. The Candyman

    Ethan’s kinda using the wrong term here. Sure the subject changed to something completely different and weird, but I can’t say it really escalated.

  52. Bemmie

    I am so damn conflicted, Joyce and Ethan’s relationship is wrong, they are great friends, but only doing damage to their psyche’s by repressing all this crap…

    … but then I half want to see it work just to spite the parents???

    1. vsophi

      How would it spite them? All it would do is confirm their own backwards beliefs.

  53. Andy

    Sigh. This storyline has too many similarities to my youth. today’s comic too, sadly.

    1. andyy

      I’m sorry, other Andy.

      Wait, did I post this comment and then forget I had done it? Are you me? Am I you? But I haven’t come out to my parents yet! And I’m still young…ish….

      1. Andy

        I’m you for the future. As I get older I shed Ys of my name. Also you totes don’t do it with your “girlfriend.” and the emo fringe really is bad in hindsight.

  54. Giant Speck

    MY BRAIN IS CRYING, WILLIS. IT’S CRYING.

  55. LiamAldam

    Nothing good can come from this.

  56. Rheinman

    I also get the feeling that it’s not just teh ghey that dissapoints Ethan’s mom, its also everything else he does that is out of her control. Hair and wardrobe critiques will be along presently.

    1. John

      I could get behind that.

      I mean, seriously, Ethan, I’m not Mr. Fashion or anything, but… what the hell were you thinking with that shirt?

      1. Rex Hondo

        He’s thinking that straight guys have poor fashion sense, so he’s hoping that ugly shirt will help cure him of the gay, or something.

  57. Fay

    *snerk*. There were 69 comments when I came here. How fitting.

    To the point, though… WOW, Ethan’s mom. You sound like MY mom. ‘Cept for the whole “fuck her asap” thing.

    Thank you, Dumbing of Age, for giving me horrible flashbacks.

    1. The Candyman

      Dumbing of Age: Striking to close to home since 2010!

      1. The Candyman

        Arrgh, *too.

      2. Fay

        It’s also fitting that I have an Ethan gravatar.

  58. The Candyman

    I really want to see a one-on-one talk between Ethan and Saul now. Just to see what he thinks of all this. Or a talk between Saul and anyone, really.

  59. OkamiKing

    ……………………………. Ethans Mom….. Wow…..

  60. Memyself

    I’d like to pretend the strip ended after the fifth word balloon. Alas.

  61. GaiusTavarusMagnus

    Ethan your mother wants you to rape and pillage. What would a good son do?

    1. Rheinman

      Lute and pillage!

      1. Rex Hondo

        She wants him to provide musical accompaniment to the pillaging?

        1. Andrusi

          *smash* Sorry.

        2. Rex Hondo

          Sometimes, somebody references a classic comedy, and I feel a little less old… Thank you.

    2. Rocketboy1313

      Probably not rape.

    3. Aizat

      Laying waste!

    4. The Phantom's Belch

      Rape the fields! Pillage the women!

  62. Andrew

    Has his father even said one word yet!?!?!?

    1. BayoWolf

      “So.”

    2. John

      Yes.

      We’re still waiting on word two.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Whatever it is, it promises to be earth-shattering.

        1. Kernanator

          “Butts”.

  63. Rheinman

    Who’d a thought Joyce’s parents would come in third place in the “most unlikeable parents” contest? Those kooky fundys at least have good (if horribly misguided) intentions.

  64. Milosh

    Jewish mother + anti-gay mother (with gay son) = really bad mix.

  65. Rocketboy1313

    Why are their so many god awful despicable shits in this universe?

  66. MM

    This is one of those times I wish I had learned more Yiddish from my grandmother, because Ethan’s mom deserves all the curses.

  67. Jerry

    I was thinking something similar right as I read the hovertext… then I realised that David is a much MUCH kinder man than I am.

  68. JA

    Well that escalated quickly, indeed.

  69. AliaPie

    Well, compared to Amber’s dad, she’s not bad at all…

    1. Aizat

      But that’s like comparing a punch to the gut is not that bad as compared to a kick in the balls.

  70. Em

    Did I just read…what I think I just read. Yeah. Yeah I did. Um, so, uh…EthanMom, I guess he could attempt to do so, but he’s going to have to, uh, y’know *cough* get hard, and wow EthanMom I’m creeped out that you are telling your son to fuck this girl. I think you are the worst. Does this count as sexual harassment? I am not Ethan, but somehow I still feel like if my mom demanded that I have massive amounts of sex with my S.O, I would feel a bit harassed. Sexually.

  71. Harry

    Fuckin’ _WOW_.

    Ethan’s mom is _THE_ _WORST_.

  72. Emoroffle

    Willis seems to have gone from killing his characters to killing their souls. Poor Ethan. I wish I could hug him and tell him he’s fine the way he is.

  73. Icalasari

    I don’t hate her

    There are four levels of discrimination, iirc

    The worst is intentional and ignorant. You hate them with all your heart. You cannot stand them, and you refuse to learn the facts or accept them. I’d say Joyce’s parents are on this level – They can easily get the facts, but they choose to be hateful

    Next worst is unintentional and ignorant. This is technically a step below the other one, but a step above in terms of acceptability. They can go one way or the other. Ethan’s mom seems to be like this. She still loves her boy, but can’t seem to grasp why he can’t be “normal” – If she was properly educated and able to understand, then she could improve

    Next is intentional and not ignorant. You’re trying to be nice. You say something like, “Oh, what a nice black man OMG I AM SO SORRY BLACK IS OFFENSIVE NOT THAT YOU ARE OFFENSIVE ITS JUST THE WORD OH DEAR GOD SHOOT ME NOW OH NO I IMPLIED YOU’RE A CRIMINAL WHY CAN’T I SHUT UUUUUUUUP!?”

    This is more hilarious than harmful, imho

    Then you have unintentional and not ignorant. You accept people, you don’t need to make a conscious effort, etc.

    I may be off on parts, its been a few years, but that’s the jist of it iirc

    1. Spiny Creature

      Except every conversation we’ve seen Naomi have has been incredibly, deliberately cruel aside from any homophobia issues. Going out of her way to tell Amber she made Ethan gay? Telling her son he’s “just a disappointment to her” (and phrasing it as love so he can’t get angry in return?)

      None of that has to do with gayness. It’s her being the worst, most manipulative and sick kind of person. If Ethan had any other “problem”, she’d focus her cruelty on that instead.

  74. Darth Cariss

    You heard her, Ethan. Time to rub Joyce’s tummy with your thing. Uh, over and over and over.

    But seriously, this is some great writing, Willis. The “you only became a disappointment” was a great turn from expectations after the “I never stopped loving you” bit.

  75. Keroshino

    Ethan, I never stopped loving you.

    …I “just started to love you less!”

    Ugh! I hate her so much!

  76. Synnerman

    I despise that woman.

    However, her sex advice completely mirrors my pious churchy tee-totaling father’s when he found out I was gay.

    “You better get out there and get you some.”

    All those morals go out the door when there’s… Le Gay!

    Of course my parent’s kicked me out of the house and live became a gay version of a Poison video for a short while.

    Ethan! Lie to her! Lie to her until you don’t need them anymore!

    1. McKathlin

      Yeah…about that. They’re saying that homosexual attraction is horribly wrong, but fornication is A-OK? Do many devout Judeo-Christian folks honestly hold that belief and consider it internally consistent? Or is it just a thing that happens to their way of thinking when their head explodes because someone they know comes out as gay?

  77. SUGauthor

    I had a long discussion with my brother on this one. He said that this strip makes Ethan’s mom worse than Amber’s dad because at least Amber’s dad has Faz, who doesn’t seem to messed up (my brother hasn’t read Shortpacked). I think he’s crazy, but in case I’m the crazy one I wanted to see what you guys think.

    1. MM

      If there’s one thing you can say for Amber’s dad, at least he’s transparent in his awfulness. When he thinks you’re a disappointment, he’ll just say so. He doesn’t pretend to offer unconditional love and then yank it away.

      1. SUGauthor

        I think conditional love is better than no love at all.

        1. timemonkey

          Depends on the conditions.

        2. Synnerman

          Not really. Conditions may be exceedingly toxic.

    2. Paul

      Faz seems all kinds of messed up, even if I completely put aside everything from Shortpacked!. Also, keep in mind that Faz is Blaine’s stepson in this universe, not his son, and presumably lived most of his life without Blaine’s influence, so his being messed up or not is at least partially unrelated to Blaine. (Of course, he had no influence from Blaine in Shortpacked!, but that could be what screwed him up there.)

      Basically, what I’m saying is that Blaine seems worse to me. They’re both terrible parents, I think they could both qualify as abusive, but Blaine seems like he’s also just an all-around terrible, terrible, awful, terrible person.

      1. SUGauthor

        My brother’s viewpoint was that Faz is just a kid and shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions (I don’t know how old he is, I guessed 17 he guessed 13) and that fact that he isn’t horrible to him the way he is around Amber is a redeeming quality which Ethan’s mom has yet to show. Just to clarify, he wasn’t defending Blaine, he just thinks he’s the lesser of two evils.

        1. Paul

          I would say “abandonment without a second thought” is a pretty horrible way to treat any child or stepchild.

      2. vsophi

        From my understanding, he’d already split up with Amber’s mom by the time Faz was born. Amber wasn’t actually around him for much of her life.

    3. Rex Hondo

      While it can be amusing to compile a ranked list of bad parents from the last few weeks, I don’t really think that bad parenting can really be plotted on a completely linear scale, especially when it comes in such varied forms. Blaine and Naomi are both repugnent on a scale that is hard to quantify, but in one easily observable manner, they are roughly equivalent: How they’ve effected their children.

      While they both do it for different reasons, both Amber and Ethan have embraced complete fantasies in order to deal with their inner demons.

    4. Jack Finch

      We’re all mad here. Didn’t you know?

  78. nothri

    Ethan, I think you need to not listen to this woman or her opinion of you or any of her advice. Give as many fucks about her as you are likely to be able to give to Joyce. 🙂

    1. Paul

      You know, most gay men are physically capable of having sex with a woman, it’s just not particularly appealing, or in any way arousing.

      1. Khantalas

        Why do I have in mind a superhero whose kryptonite is having sex with women now?

        1. The Candyman

          You mean Jacob?

  79. Matt

    I think this is some sort of strange mix between “stereotypical Jewish mother” and homophobia. Although I don’t know how stereotypical Jewish mothers generally react towards gays so maybe it’s not a mix at all.

    1. MM

      Depends on the denomination, but for most non-Orthodox Jews…”So, your new boyfriend: is he a doctor?”

      1. Aizat

        Wait, that’s how Malay parents stereotype from 60’s, I think. But they also accept lawyers and magistrates….musicians are out of the question.

      2. David

        And now for something completely different.

        Oy doctor, last night I dreamt I was in your office and on this couch, and then when I looked up, you suddenly had the face of my mother. I wake up totally frightened, and I had to get to the kitchen and drink a glass of coke to calm myself down again. Doctor, what does that dream mean?

        A glass of coke? What kind of breakfast is that supposed to be?

  80. MariMariMariko42

    First Time Poster Since It’s Walky: Holy Balls, Ethan I know where you are coming from. “You only became a disappointment.” Poor guy! Stand up for yourself!

  81. newllend

    Oh Ethan,your a good person your just a fool , what parent says to there own kid that he’s a disappointment, he should not haft to change himself just for her respect

  82. Elva Rodríguez

    Bad Parent Fest will never end…

  83. Jack Finch

    Well…I don’t see homesickness being a big problem for too many of these kids.

    1. Maja!

      No, right?! They must have been so relieved to get away from home – poor things!

  84. Tofusmith

    I find it amusing how comfortable Ethan is using phrases of speech from the interwebs, even when nobody else gets the reference. Considering how many people I’ve met who actually do this, it’s quite a nice bit of character writing.

  85. Luzahn

    Argh she is the woooorst. At least Blaine is openly antagonistic.

  86. NightmareWarden

    Ethan please concentrate for a moment: WWOD? What Would Optimus Do? On second thought, what would Megatron do? That’s right, kill her! Mike will help you hid the body.

    1. Tofusmith

      Mike… help?

      1. Leonou

        Mike will definitely help screwing. For a nickel !

    2. Rex Hondo

      Optimus would declare her an honorary Decepticon, then step on her. After pontificating about self-determination, of course.

  87. Allcool_dontcare

    If i were ethan’s roommate and i walked in when she said to fuck her i would make it awkward for them by just walk in with a sandwich in my hand and sit down in my computer and just offer them sandwich and continue doing whatever i was going to do

  88. NightmareWarden

    Oh, and Ethan seems to have regained his black-watermelon-consuming-my-head hairstyle. It is more relevant on the previous page though.

  89. Mr. Morningstar

    NOPE
    NOPE STILL A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING ETHANS MOM STOP DOING THAT

  90. Beachfox

    Oh god! I just realized that that Ethan’s parents and Joyce’s parents are going to meet at some point! And interact!

    This is going to end -horribly-!

    Those poor poor kids…

  91. Drakey

    I like how everybody assumes Ethan is spouting a meme here.

    I mean, yes, there’s a statistically significant chance that that’s what he’s doing, but that’s also… you know… a perfectly rational thing to say without someone on the internet having said it first. It’s not as though he suddenly shouted “do not want!” at his mother.

    His mother, whom I loathe, and who puts my dad into perfect perspective, because he has never said a single homophobic thing to me even though I know he used to spout some pretty awful things about gay people.

    Gawd, I’m lucky.

    1. Stranger

      Youre lucky because your homophobic dad has the civility to keep his bigoted mouth shut? Thats not luck, thats how youre supposed to act as a civilized human being if you cant muster up the decency to NOT be a bigot. Being lucky would include having actually supportive parents

      1. Drakey

        Actually, no. I’m lucky because my homophobic dad got snapped out of it pretty hard and now comes down on the other side of the debate, while my mother has never been homophobic.

        Would you like some salt to go with the foot you’ve just jammed in your mouth?

  92. Kennerly

    When Ethan said “vicariously-horny future grandparents”, his mother took it literally.

  93. Melvin Schlock

    That third panel may be the most horrible dialogue ever scripted.
    And I know how accurate it is.

  94. Jammy

    No post on Sundays

  95. sumolegend

    Yeesh. Heyyy… -hey waitaminute. Didn’t Joyce get almost the exact same treatment from HER parents in IW? I mean, I don’t remember them being quite as harsh or judgmental, but I recall them being disappointed cause they thought she was gay (or maybe they were just disappointed she wouldn’t be producing grandbabies?). And like, when they found out she was dating Walky they literally sprayed her boobs with whipped cream and shoved the two of them in a bedroom and yelled at them to start having sex. Am I remembering this wrong?

    1. Shade

      You remember correctly.

      However, there is a distinct difference here.

      In IW, Joyce’s mom was very, very desperate for grandkids. Joyce’s dad was very quickly revealed to be similar. Besides that, I doubt her parents would have had much problem with Joyce being gay had that been the case. Which makes their actions just plain old creepy and uncomfortable.

      Here, Ethan’s mom specifically has a problem with him being gay. She’s pushing sex on him (sadly, I know exactly how that sounds, but I can’t think of any better way to phrase it) in the desperate hope of him being NOT gay. Which makes her actions and words not only creepy, but disturbing.

      Make sense?

      1. Paul

        Plus, Joyce’s parents were clearly played for laughs in It’s Walky!. Here, although the last frame is funny in a horrifying way, it’s mostly being used to accentuate just how horrible Ethan’s mom is actually being.

        1. Shade

          Horrifying: yes

          Funny: highly, highly debatable.

      2. sumolegend

        Yeah, I guess the main difference is that Joyce’s parents seemed to have accepted it, whereas Naomi probably thinks that sex with Joyce is going to “fix” Ethan. It’s more real, which makes it more depressing.

  96. Shade

    Okay, now I’m curious what your ‘official worst parent’ list actually is.

  97. Peruhain

    OK, so this is about the creepiest Jewish mother I’ve ever met . . . .

  98. Justsomejewishguy

    Kind of weird, since non-orthodox Jews are the most socially liberal voting group in the country. F’realzies. Over 90% support for same-sex marriage AND 88% abortion rights. NBD, just how we roll. Put the stats in the website URL.

  99. Baker

    I half expect Ethan putting incredibly awkward pressure on himself to romance Joyce’s pants off while not even sure if he can follow through. Guess it depends on how much he wants his mom to be happy.

    1. Shade

      I’m pretty sure that he knew he was deluding himself before. Now he’s seeing his idea backfire on him.

      Truth be told, I’m going to have to go back and find the strip that explains why he’s doing this in the first place, because all I can remember of it is that it didn’t make any sense.

  100. PureLionHeart

    And to think, anyone is allowed to have a kid.

  101. Aaaaaaadrian

    wow, every time she opens her mouth I just hate her a little bit more

  102. fogel

    There needn’t be “A”/”THE” worst parent/s. #1, there’s plenty of worst to go around. #2, all can be worst in their own unique ways. #C, each can be worst for their own kid. Prizes for everyone! (On another note, I wonder what the report from the Campus Counselling Center to the Dean of Students after Family Weekend looks like …)

  103. Crumplepunch

    I do not like this woman.

    *reads alt text*

    Ooooooh.

    1. tahrey

      ITS A MIRACLE

  104. tahrey

    I’m not sure how much she can be directly blamed … it’s a horrible collision between her hormones and her cultural background, I’d say…

    I bet she probably wouldn’t even mind him being openly bisexual and having male and female lovers, so long as a grandchild eventually resulted from it.

    1. tahrey

      Also, at this point she will be blissfully unaware of Joyce’s stance on Premarital Hanky Panky. Or that she’s Christian.

  105. Ziaheart

    All these memories of my interactions with my own parents all flooding back with that third panel.

  106. Jesse

    So, she’s creepy as well as bongoy.

  107. CianM1301

    And here I thought we couldn’t hate Ethan’s mom any more than possible.

  108. Evil Midnight Lurker

    …she’s a perfectly ordinary civilian woman. It would be wrong to just haul off and punch her in the nose. She’s a perfectly ordinary civilian woman. It would be wrong to just haul off and punch her in the nose. She’s a perfectly ordinary civilian woman. It would be wrong to just haul off and punch her in the nose. She’s a perfectly ordinary civilian woman. It would be wrong to just haul off and punch her in the nose…

    1. Joe

      And yet, so so right.

  109. Stranger

    Man, no wonder Ethan is such a crybaby about being gay. Fine kid, but dont come complaining down the line when your denial just makes everything a lot worse for you.

    1. xKiv

      He’s only got experience with *coming out* making everything much worse for him.
      Why would he expect different result from the same action again – that would be insanity!

  110. Jimmy

    “I mean, that really got out of hand fast.”
    “It jumped up a notch.”
    “It did, didn’t it?”

    1. CianM1301

      “Yeah, I punched my Dad in the face.”
      “I saw that! Amber punched a guy!”

  111. Keroshino

    “I do not like this woman”

    Dammit Willis. you have no one to blame but yourself…you wrote her this way! lol

  112. dethtoll

    If it makes you guys feel any better my mom has told me that if I don’t marry a fat woman that means I am shallow.

    I told her my only criteria was no redheads (she’s one.)

    1. Gordon Blvd

      just out of curiosity…………….was yr mom fat? o_0 did she really want you to target a fat woman as a mate? just WOWzers on that, bro……………………

    2. Rex Hondo

      Was she referring to a particular woman that you were dating, or just to fat women in particular?

      Don’t get me wrong, it’s a messed up thing to say, either way, and not just because Rex likey the rubenesque ladies…

  113. David

    It will be interesting to have Ethan’s and Joyce’s parents bartering about who is going to be allowed to fuck whom pending which conditions. And to think that all this bargaining for opening a window of opportunity in order to provide unfettered access to flies is going to seduce many in sects…

  114. Phillip Wilde

    I like Naomi less and less with each passing second.

  115. Crumplepunch

    My dad once told me that no matter what I do, I will exceed his expectations.

    This kind of reminds me of that.

    1. The Candyman

      Kind of a backhanded compliment, there..

    2. Gold

      That’s funny. I’m going to tell my kid the exact same thing.

  116. Ryan

    “it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths.”

    1. Rex Hondo

      I still miss Madeline Kahn…

  117. H3xx

    This is a mother who needs to be punched in the face. Accept your son for who he is and stop being a bongo.

  118. Jack Finch

    Ethan: Look mom, I’m in college, and I’m doing OK.
    Naomi: Meh.

  119. Bloody_Jerk

    I’m suprised how this Kids are not all some serious mental cases. It’s almost unbelivable.

    1. GoSpeedRumpist

      Which one’s? The openly closeted homosexual with a hardcore Christian girlfriend? Or the abused shut in who moonlights as a superhero?

      1. Jack Finch

        Or the estranged twin sister hate-fucking her math TA for grades. Or the womanizer’s womanizing son.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Or the recovering alcoholic ex-cheerleader with daddy issues? Or the recovering alcoholic lesbian for whom violence equals affection?

        2. Bloody_Jerk

          All this kids = all of them.
          With that background and that surrounding, I would have guessed, they would went psycho.
          At least I wouldn’t blame them.

  120. Ashley

    Hey Mom, I didn’t think I’d see you here in this comic that I read.

    1. Shadow12000

      If your name is actually Ashley, implying you are indeed a female, and your mother said “you fuck her over and over again”…Wow.

      1. 6

        Ashley is unisex as a first name.

        1. Ashley

          It is indeed, thank you (I am a guy).

  121. GoSpeedRumpist

    I would really like to see a transcript of those prayers.

  122. Jen

    Have people seen “But I’m a Cheerleader”? That’s what Ethan’s mom reminds me of here. But I’m a Cheerleader is a satirical movie about a “straighten you out” camp. The leader of the camp (not the main character) has a gay son that she can’t “fix” but she tries to “fix” other kids. She essentially tells her son the same thing that Ethan’s mom is telling him.

    Hilarious movie. Features RuPaul out of drag, way before Drag Race ever existed; so for many, it was the first time seeing him as a man. 🙂

    1. Jen

      I hate it when it signs me out of Gravatar. That last post should have been linked to me, not to a random Walky icon. Does anyone else have this issue? Am I doing something wrong to make it sign me out?

      1. Jen

        Okay, let’s try this again.

    2. Bloody_Jerk

      Great movie.
      Didn’t know anything about that whole RuPaul-Thing and didn’t realised how Mary actually tried to make up for “failing” at her son…

      But you are right… Ethans Mom and that Woman are disturbing similar.

  123. Alexx

    So, Mr. Willis, when you created this character, did you just write “hate magnet” beneath her preliminary designs and be done with it?

    If her and Amber’s dad were in the same room I think they would draw all the hate from anyone else in a five mile radius.

  124. Foxhack

    “Only became a disappointment”?

    You know, there’s good reasons to cut ties with your mother. This is one of them.

  125. Featherstone

    I vote in favor of murder… Horrible, Horrible, murder.

    1. Aizat

      I vote for angry mob…with pitchforks and torches.

  126. Narf

    Wow.

    Can I give you a hand pulling out of that fiery tailspin you’ve sent this conversation into, Mrs. Siegal? Jesus CHRIST.

    (I’m LOVING this storyline, Mr. Willis!)

  127. Victor Riley

    Yeah, because calling your child “a disappointment” is always a good idea.

    1. 6

      No it isn’t

  128. WingedBeast

    Here’s the thing, I can tell she’s trying. “I never stopped loving you” ‘n all. I can actually believe it.

    But, believing the lies can hold you back so hard. Hence “You became a disappointment.”

    So, I want to give that lady such a hugsmack!

  129. ProjectXa3

    I do not like her either.

  130. Lu86

    Just my thoughts:

    I reflexively hate Ethan’s mom. She’s displaying a profound lack of humane qualities, her actions are causing pain and suffering, and she just doesn’t seem to care about that. It’s particularly horrible that the person she’s hurting the most is the one that most needs her and the one she has an obligation to care for. The bigotry is just icing on the cake.

    But the thing is, I don’t want to. And if I start reasoning, I shouldn’t. Because she’s (fictionally) human, and we are all stupid, overemotional and at some points we can be terrible, terrible people. Doesn’t mean I have to approve what she’s doing, but hate doesn’t really add anything useful to it.

    I can find excuses to hate her, she’s providing plenty, but those would be more excuses for me being judgemental and feeling morally superior. If she were a real person, hate would only make me want to do unhelpful but satisfying things like smacking her.

    The kind of behavior she seems to be displaying here seems to be a product of caring a lot, yet being so royally fucked in the head that it manifests in very toxic, profoundly harmful ways. I had parents like those, and I had to learn to let it go or face a life of bitterness and a self sabotaging personality, something I’m still struggling with on a daily basis. Righteous indignation and hate don’t really help.

    1. TPRJones

      “Righteous indignation and hate don’t really help.”

      They also don’t hurt, so go ahead.

      So far this woman reminds me a lot of my mother. Experience has taught me that some people can never be fixed, and if hating them makes you feel good go ahead because it just can’t make them any worse than they already are.

      In the end with those people the only solution is to cut them from your life for good. Move away somewhere and don’t let them know where. Then get on with things, without them trying to destroy you all the time.

      1. Lu86

        They do hurt. They hurt myself. Any emotion is eventually expressed at something. If it’s not expressed at the person who originally caused it, it will be expressed to a foster figure, or to myself.

        The point of forgiveness is not to fix the other person, it’s to allow yourself to move on.

        1. Narf

          Very well said, Lu. 🙂

  131. Stepfan Huntsman

    My mom has basically said that to me. It makes not loathing this character very hard… especially as it’s over the same thing (god forbid I’m with a man who loves me and I love him back, but nope goin to hell and I’m now the worst child she has, from the child she thought was the best… that’s all it takes apparently).

    1. turkishproverb

      I know the feeling.

  132. Gold

    Fuck the gay away, Ethan. Fuck the gay away.

    1. Narf

      lol, Peaches would be … proud? 😛

  133. Tom Speelman

    OHHHHHHH BOY this is gonna create some issues.

  134. Paul

    I’ve given it some thought, and my emotions on reading this strip can best be described by another Willis comic: http://www.joyceandwalky.com/d/20080802.html

    1. Leonou

      Thank you !
      I just couldn’t find this strip, which I believe to be Willi’s best.

  135. He'Stan

    At least Amber’s dad is aware that he’s an asshole. Parents like Ethan’s believe that they are doing the right thing by rejecting their child’s identity.

  136. anatman

    ugh. in doa world it looks like “never trust anyone over 30” is pretty damn good advice.

    1. Nadath

      Seriously, we are really batting a thousand with the parents being decent humans. Well, not entirely bad, but boy the scale of the bad is pretty remarkable. I had to re-read the part about her praying for Ethan and then tell him to go out and have sex outside of marriage, right after calling her kid a disappointment. Thankfully I haven’t run into many people like that, or more likely people just haven’t decided to talk like that around me.

  137. Andrew_C

    I know it’s cliched, but I’ll give even odds that Ethan’s dad also thinking that he could wish his sexuality away is how he ended up unhappily married

    1. Gold

      He looks defeated in every panel we’ve seen him in.

  138. Tsukuyomimaster

    Sounds like my mom 0.o

  139. ServantofCygnus

    GHHAHG

  140. TJ Baltimore

    Isn’t this the same advice that Shortpacked! Mike’s dad gave Mike with regards to Amber?

  141. cmglothlin

    This storyline breaks my heart. Actually all of Ethan’s in this universe do. And Amber’s relationship with her father.

  142. Raoullefere

    Trust Willis to take any and all amusement and/or envy out of seeing a mom tell her son to go make his girlfriend like there’s no tomorrow.

    Damn you, Willis.

  143. ubun7u43v3r

    Ethan’s mom reminds me of a combination of Rick Oberf’s mom and Joyce’s mom from the original continuity.

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