Nono. They were all given completely original names that had nothing to do with Jiminy: Jim-Manny, Jim-Annie, and Jim N. E. Cricketston the Third are all completely distinct names, and we are not in copyright infringment of Disney properties.
Completely. Original. Names.
Whittier
Like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.
Goshii
I really loved that show on the Mimsey afternoon: Salvage Soldiers. Was about these anthropomorphic birds that dress like Columbo and Sam Spade. They had a friendly mechanic named Widget, and a horribly stereotypical redneck rat with them named Bubba Cheddar. Was a really cool show though
Malaya’s whole shtick here seems to be needling Sal for not being the cool rebel she claims to be, and threatening to tattle to an authority figure would kind of prove her point. Sal needs to find a solution that goes against the grain.
Maybe she can bring home a pet bobcat or something.
Viktoria
Huh. I’m a dog person, but I would absolutely rather room with a wild bobcat than with Malaya. It’s probably quieter, for one.
Inahc
also it doesn’t know how to turn lights on. 😉
Chris Phoenix
Instead of bobcat, box contained Malaya. -1 Would not buy again.
DailyBrad
That and, I mean, Sal doesn’t really like to involve authority, anyway. She’d be more likely to punch out Malaya than anything like that, and she doesn’t want to do that, either, to not piss Marcie off anymore than she already has.
Owlmirror
I get the impression that Sal does not care what Malaya thinks about her. If “giving in” by taking the nark option gets Malaya off her back, Sal might be willing to take it.
But seeing Carla reminds me of another possible lateral move: Sal asks Carla if she can room with her. Or, Sal suggests that Malaya move in with Carla (thus possibly re-establishing the Shortpacked ship).
Carla has a room to herself, but I don’t think there’s any reason that Carla can’t take the initiative to change that if she wants to. Well, except for the fact that she hates people.
BBCC
I can’t see her doing it to get rid of Malaya, but if it came down to ‘either the iguana goes or we BOTH get busted for it’ I can see it. She’s cool with a lot of rule breaking but like hell is she going down for Malaya’s crap.
Viktoria
Carla is trans. Even though Sal is cool with that, I’m betting it’s admin policy that Carla gets her own room, to avoid potential problems.
Owlmirror
To put it more clearly: I know that Carla is trans. My point is that the admin policy is probably more like “don’t assign anyone in with Carla”. If Carla invites a roommate (that she is OK with, and who is in turn OK with her) on her own initiative, why would “admin policy” be a problem?
Viktoria
You’re expecting a level of respect for student’s decisions and a flexibility in policy that I think is unlikely from a public university.
You’re expecting a level of giving-a-shit-one-way-or-another that just doesn’t exist in public universities.
Owlmirror
Well, perhaps.
But it also occurs to me that Carla Rutten, daughter of the founders of Ruttentech, might have some €xtra-$pecia£ wa¥$ of inducing r€$p€ct from any school administrators who might be problematic.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
I don’t know about admin policy, but I assume that Carla has a single room, which would be too small for a roommate* and lack the extra bed and desk.
Digressing, does Carla get her own half-bath, or share one like everyone else?
* Unless they were something much closer than a roommate.
BBCC
She has her own, as does Ruth. It seems like there are two singles – one for the RA and one mirror of the RA’s room, which is what Carla has.
thejeff
In theory, though her room is too small for a double, she could move in with Sal, letting Malaya have her room.
Not sure she’d be cool with it though.
Twirls
Ehhhh, I doubt the administration would be okay with it. My freshman year I tried to move rooms on the same floor to live with someone who didn’t have a roommate and I was told I couldn’t because I’d be taking that spot from someone who might need it in the future (even though… my spot… would then be open) After about a week of back and forth My mom ended up calling and, I assume, raising some hell (I didn’t find out about it for another week, I just thought they caved) and I was allowed to move. This situation would be more complicated than that, especially considering that people suck about gender identity.
tl;dr: more likely they just move without involving administration at all. more hijinx and rebellion that way
Joe Helfrich
At least in my school, there were a few dorm room singles that were largely reserved for Juniors and Seniors still in the dorms. Carla’s at least not a freshman, though I don’t know if we’ve ever heard what her actual class is.
Crickets are like less annoying grasshoppers, but I still don’t want any near me, because they’re *gross*.
Verdande
A cricket got into the house last night. My mom made the cats eat it.
hof1991
How do you make cats eat something?
thejeff
Having had to force feed several sick cats over the last year or two, With a syringe, a towel, great difficulty, much indignation and most likely some blood loss.
No idea how to apply this to crickets.
Bast
Buy the new cricket juicer, 50% off only 99.99.
And if you order now you get a bag of lettuce completely free!
Limited supply, offer only available to January first.
You tell the cats to not eat it. They’re guaranteed to. (And frankly, I’ve yet to meet a cat — other than my little sister’s completely spooked and squirrelly calico that’s afraid of its own shadow — that had to be persuaded to pounce on a bug.)
Liliet
So, basically, by grabbing a cat and bringing it where the cricket is.
I have so many questions on what Melon’s job actually is. I would probably take that job if it was available… screaming for a shift while covered in bugs sounds a lot more appetizing than driving a desk punching numbers into a computer.
Trying to teach poetry in high school to a class of 30 as one unit of an English class is ridiculously, abominably bad. It guarantees that most of them will grow up thinking they don’t “get” poetry, or don’t like it.
Come to think of it, that’s true of a lot of subjects. Here, memorize this list of names and dates. That’s history. Isn’t it boring and pointless?
Now produce a picture using the specified technique. You will be graded on your technique. This is art. If you didn’t get a good grade, or didn’t enjoy the exercise, then you must not be an artist.
Now, in lockstep with 29 other students, learn a very complex, highly conceptual subject that builds on itself. If you get lost or confused at any point, then you will never be good at math.
Oh, and learn to be creative by raising your hand when called upon. Bonus points if you’re brown-skinned – then if you do anything actually self-expressive, you’ll be body-slammed out of your chair by an imported police officer.
American school just sucks. There’s no polite way to put it.
131 thoughts on “Herbivores”
Ana Chronistic
It’s a bag of thoughts
which totes count
and have escaped
Jamie
Should’ve put some prayers in with them. It’d weigh the same.
Yet_One_More_Idiot
“It was lettuce…which escaped.”
“Why’d you get lettuce? You know Fuckface doesn’t like lettuce!”
“Why? I dunno, just…Cos.”
(ba-dum tsh!)
Doctor_Who
“And I certainly didn’t augment some of the lettuce with cybernetic limbs and laser beams just to see what would happen.”
MM
Somehow that sounds better with actual lettuce.
Van Jealous
Lettuce prey!
K^2
With that gravatar, I hope that’s an intentional pun.
Nobody
Well it didn’t seem fair before, she wanted the lettuce to have a sporting chance
gen
I wonder how Malaya is going to break Marcie’s heart.
Reltzik
Probably by not being into her.
gen
I guess I did leave that open to “liking her but still breaking her heart,” but it sounds like we were already on the same page.
Gesc
Probably by leading her own, having her way with her and then ignoring her.
Danni
which of them are named jiminy?
Passchendaele
all of them
Danni
you have good ideas
HeySo
Nono. They were all given completely original names that had nothing to do with Jiminy: Jim-Manny, Jim-Annie, and Jim N. E. Cricketston the Third are all completely distinct names, and we are not in copyright infringment of Disney properties.
Completely. Original. Names.
Whittier
Like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.
Goshii
I really loved that show on the Mimsey afternoon: Salvage Soldiers. Was about these anthropomorphic birds that dress like Columbo and Sam Spade. They had a friendly mechanic named Widget, and a horribly stereotypical redneck rat with them named Bubba Cheddar. Was a really cool show though
Shiro
…Ruth is going to “accidentally” hear about Fuckface, isn’t she
Owlmirror
I’m thinking more along the lines of blackmail.
“No more bullshit, or the lizard gets tossed!”
Doctor_Who
Malaya’s whole shtick here seems to be needling Sal for not being the cool rebel she claims to be, and threatening to tattle to an authority figure would kind of prove her point. Sal needs to find a solution that goes against the grain.
Maybe she can bring home a pet bobcat or something.
Viktoria
Huh. I’m a dog person, but I would absolutely rather room with a wild bobcat than with Malaya. It’s probably quieter, for one.
Inahc
also it doesn’t know how to turn lights on. 😉
Chris Phoenix
Instead of bobcat, box contained Malaya. -1 Would not buy again.
DailyBrad
That and, I mean, Sal doesn’t really like to involve authority, anyway. She’d be more likely to punch out Malaya than anything like that, and she doesn’t want to do that, either, to not piss Marcie off anymore than she already has.
Owlmirror
I get the impression that Sal does not care what Malaya thinks about her. If “giving in” by taking the nark option gets Malaya off her back, Sal might be willing to take it.
But seeing Carla reminds me of another possible lateral move: Sal asks Carla if she can room with her. Or, Sal suggests that Malaya move in with Carla (thus possibly re-establishing the Shortpacked ship).
Carla has a room to herself, but I don’t think there’s any reason that Carla can’t take the initiative to change that if she wants to. Well, except for the fact that she hates people.
BBCC
I can’t see her doing it to get rid of Malaya, but if it came down to ‘either the iguana goes or we BOTH get busted for it’ I can see it. She’s cool with a lot of rule breaking but like hell is she going down for Malaya’s crap.
Viktoria
Carla is trans. Even though Sal is cool with that, I’m betting it’s admin policy that Carla gets her own room, to avoid potential problems.
Owlmirror
To put it more clearly: I know that Carla is trans. My point is that the admin policy is probably more like “don’t assign anyone in with Carla”. If Carla invites a roommate (that she is OK with, and who is in turn OK with her) on her own initiative, why would “admin policy” be a problem?
Viktoria
You’re expecting a level of respect for student’s decisions and a flexibility in policy that I think is unlikely from a public university.
Clif
Yep.
Pablo360
You’re expecting a level of giving-a-shit-one-way-or-another that just doesn’t exist in public universities.
Owlmirror
Well, perhaps.
But it also occurs to me that Carla Rutten, daughter of the founders of Ruttentech, might have some €xtra-$pecia£ wa¥$ of inducing r€$p€ct from any school administrators who might be problematic.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
I don’t know about admin policy, but I assume that Carla has a single room, which would be too small for a roommate* and lack the extra bed and desk.
Digressing, does Carla get her own half-bath, or share one like everyone else?
* Unless they were something much closer than a roommate.
BBCC
She has her own, as does Ruth. It seems like there are two singles – one for the RA and one mirror of the RA’s room, which is what Carla has.
thejeff
In theory, though her room is too small for a double, she could move in with Sal, letting Malaya have her room.
Not sure she’d be cool with it though.
Twirls
Ehhhh, I doubt the administration would be okay with it. My freshman year I tried to move rooms on the same floor to live with someone who didn’t have a roommate and I was told I couldn’t because I’d be taking that spot from someone who might need it in the future (even though… my spot… would then be open) After about a week of back and forth My mom ended up calling and, I assume, raising some hell (I didn’t find out about it for another week, I just thought they caved) and I was allowed to move. This situation would be more complicated than that, especially considering that people suck about gender identity.
tl;dr: more likely they just move without involving administration at all. more hijinx and rebellion that way
Joe Helfrich
At least in my school, there were a few dorm room singles that were largely reserved for Juniors and Seniors still in the dorms. Carla’s at least not a freshman, though I don’t know if we’ve ever heard what her actual class is.
BBCC
Sooner rather than later if things like this carry on.
I only hope this doesn’t end up blowing up on BOTH of them for keeping him in their room.
thejeff
So how do we arrange this so that Malaya gets kicked out, but Fuckface stays?
foamy
Well the thing about that is, if Ruth hears someone talking about fuckface, she’s just gonna assume it’s Mary and move on.
BigDogLittleCat
Laughed out loud!
Passchendaele
“Don’t look down if you’re afraid of cri- I mean lettuce. Yeah. Afraid of lettuce.”
Plasma Mongoose
They both make a crunchy noise when you step on either, so…
Commentary Ver.2.72
Actually I fear lettuce more than crickets. True story.
Passchendaele
Crickets are like less annoying grasshoppers, but I still don’t want any near me, because they’re *gross*.
Verdande
A cricket got into the house last night. My mom made the cats eat it.
hof1991
How do you make cats eat something?
thejeff
Having had to force feed several sick cats over the last year or two, With a syringe, a towel, great difficulty, much indignation and most likely some blood loss.
No idea how to apply this to crickets.
Bast
Buy the new cricket juicer, 50% off only 99.99.
And if you order now you get a bag of lettuce completely free!
Limited supply, offer only available to January first.
So order today, order to night.
From Toys R Us.
DSL
You tell the cats to not eat it. They’re guaranteed to. (And frankly, I’ve yet to meet a cat — other than my little sister’s completely spooked and squirrelly calico that’s afraid of its own shadow — that had to be persuaded to pounce on a bug.)
Liliet
So, basically, by grabbing a cat and bringing it where the cricket is.
Reltzik
Makes sense. After all, one variety of lettuce was responsible for sinking a cruise liner.
Passchendaele
I want to say “no way, that can’t possibly be true,” but a lot of weird things *are* true, so could I have some context? o-o
Fart Captor
“Iceberg”
Roborat
I actually had to think about that for a few seconds.
LookingIn
…please let them end up in Mary’s room and cause her to awaken to screams and fearing the plagues of God
Reltzik
Mary DREAMS about plagues from God as righteous punishment against the unChristian.
…. obviously the crickets are there for Roz.
Tacos
What’d Mary think then if she wakes up covered in the little Blighters?
Reltzik
…. if it’s just internal (plus external) incoherent screaming, does that actually count as THOUGHT?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Like Melon in today’s Questionable Content?
Goshii
I have so many questions on what Melon’s job actually is. I would probably take that job if it was available… screaming for a shift while covered in bugs sounds a lot more appetizing than driving a desk punching numbers into a computer.
Wright
Nothing could make me happier.
ValdVin
Mary would just take it as a sign, as in the end line from song “Give a little.whistle”.
Mary being Mary, though, she thinks her conscience is infallible.
timemonkey
Yay Carla, you tried!
Kitanin
I have brought
the lettuce
that was in
the icebox
And which
you were probably
saving
for Fuckface
Forgive me
it has escaped
so wily
and so bold.
Lingo
I understood that reference.
jeffepp
This always bothered me in school. It wasn’t a poem, it was an apology note. It’s just one step above a grocery list.
Chris Phoenix
Trying to teach poetry in high school to a class of 30 as one unit of an English class is ridiculously, abominably bad. It guarantees that most of them will grow up thinking they don’t “get” poetry, or don’t like it.
Come to think of it, that’s true of a lot of subjects. Here, memorize this list of names and dates. That’s history. Isn’t it boring and pointless?
Now produce a picture using the specified technique. You will be graded on your technique. This is art. If you didn’t get a good grade, or didn’t enjoy the exercise, then you must not be an artist.
Now, in lockstep with 29 other students, learn a very complex, highly conceptual subject that builds on itself. If you get lost or confused at any point, then you will never be good at math.
Oh, and learn to be creative by raising your hand when called upon. Bonus points if you’re brown-skinned – then if you do anything actually self-expressive, you’ll be body-slammed out of your chair by an imported police officer.
American school just sucks. There’s no polite way to put it.
Kernanator
Carla, you fool! Haven’t you ever watched “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”?
Plasma Mongoose
Never saw the movie, only the cartoon of it.
Opus the Poet