157

Approved
Posted on February 21, 2020 by David M Willis

157 thoughts on “Approved”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “first thing’s first”

    *screams in vomit noises*

    1. clif

      The staple must have come out

  2. Mra

    How long ago did she crush her toe?

    1. King Daniel

      In comic time or real-life time?

      1. Bunny

        Let’s see, they’re barely through ten weeks of semester in ten years real time. So, about three years ago, as we count time.

        1. clif

          Week and a half comic time.

        2. Lunarius Haberdash

          Everything in the past two years has covered almost two weeks of college? WHAT?

    2. HeatherJean

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/stepmachine/

      I’ve had that nail come loose. Really odd feeling, and then there was this new nail growing under it.

    3. Yumi

      2017. Damn.

      Comic time it was about a week ago.

    4. Andrew j williams

      November 27, 2017

      1. DrWattson

        It doesn’t feel like that storyline was two years ago. It feels like it just happened. What happened to time?!

        1. clif

          It got compressed when Mike hit his head.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Yup, it happened early morning on October 11th and today’s the 19th.

      2. Monarch Bee

        Oh hey I remember 2017

        Kinda wish I didn’t though.

        2017 was bad.

    5. Jo Giggles

      Damn, I went to look for the answer and found the comic and HeatherJean beat me to it. Oh wells. Cannot believe that was 2017!!! I had some fun rereading things and reminiscing while looking back anyways lol

  3. Shane

    The screams can come out later. Frankly holding them in is a pretty good job, so go me.

  4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    The toenail is a spy for Toedad.

    1. Yumi

      It’s foreshadowing what will become of him

      1. Reltzik

        He’s going to get nailed by the pollicem?

        1. clif

          At last he will know duh-feet.

        2. Keith Curtis

          Well they are both loose. I’m taking it as brilliant parallel storytelling.

      2. Charles Spencer

        He’s going to get tangled up in Joyce’s sock and strangle?

  5. Rose by Any Other Name

    Oh Joyce, dear Joyce, I feel you.

    I have had toenails do that. It’s supes gross and disturbing.

    (this is the new name of LeslieBean4shizzle – I’m trying something new)

    1. clif

      A Leslie Bean by any other name
      will sound as sweet, for shizzle.

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        You know, I picked that name originally over at Shortpacked! to indicate myself as a Leslie/Robin shipper back when that relationship was in question. And then just used it here for consistency sake.
        That was like… 8 years ago, now, I think? Yikes. And Shortpacked! ended five years ago… so I’ve spent over half my time here with a name based on a no-longer-relevant reference. Yeah – time and more for a change.
        I guess the real problem was coming up with a funny name. Which… I mean, it isn’t exactly inspired, but it incorporates my actual first name so… kinda funny, I guess?

        1. anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness

          Picking a good screen name that doesn’t trip any flags is a thorny issue.

  6. Yumi

    That’s pretty insightful on Joyce’s part. Hopefully it’s followed up with further insight of the “we need to tell Becky” variety.

    1. Bryy

      Yeah, I think this is another peg in Joyce’s development as a person. She keeps TRYING to get control back, but needs to learn that there’s a different between “control” and “authority”.

    2. Regalli

      Agreed. I think her ‘I think he’s already out’ bit is also a sense of urgency once the initial shock wears off – hypothetically up to this point, she could maybe keep Becky out of the loop by figuring out a way to keep Ross in jail, or some legal action that would keep Becky 100% safe.

      But if he’s already out, legal action takes time to implement and she doesn’t know where he is, and that means Becky’s actively in danger again.

      (Also once the shock wears off, ‘keep Becky and everyone safe’ can be a really good way to put off processing ‘Mom has definitely betrayed and endangered me and those I love.’ Goofballing and going forward full-throttle works for Becky, Joyce has a tendency to cope with sheer stubbornness.)

    3. Agemegos

      Yeah. Very perceptive of Joyce, there.

      She knows her mother pretty well, who must have spouted bullshit like this pretty often before. I suppose Joyce is going to be re-evaluating a lot of memories in the next little while.

      1. Seregiel

        She already twitched once at the “Id die for you Joyce” when she was on the phone with her mom and also the singing at church.

  7. Nono

    If Ross thinks he’s dying for Becky’s sins, does that mean he’s…

    Toenailed to the cross?

    1. SystemofEleven

      BAD DAD JOKE! BAD!! *squirts you with a water bottle*

      1. Agemegos

        What has Nono done to earn such pun-ishment!?

        1. He Who Abides

          They know what they did.

  8. Stephen Bierce

    Bullet, Meet BITE.
    Which way to the nurse’s station?

  9. Kernanator

    Oh. Super.

  10. Pocky

    Good news usually comes in threes

    . . . or was that bad news?

    Probably best to never receive any news.

    1. Agemegos

      “No news is good news” therefore all news is bad news. That’s logic.

      1. Liquid Len

        No gnus is good gnus…

        1. Opus the Poet

          Have you met Gary?

      2. DSL

        That conclusion depends on one reading of the premise.
        Is “no news” the absense of news, or is the statement to be taken to read that there is not a piece of news that can be good?

  11. PHNX

    At this point I feel more sorry for Joyce than I do for Becky.

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      Yeah. Becky didn’t lose a toenail.
      Ugh… I cannot express in words how much that icks me out. **shiver**

  12. Sporky

    Oh, right, I forgot about that!

  13. BBCC

    Yup, ew, gross. I’d be squicked out too. I think my soul would leave my body.

    And easier to focus on for a second than your terrible, terrible parent.

  14. abysswatcher1993

    Welp, time to tell Becky what is happening, cut ties with your mom and her church, rent a dress for Mike’s funeral and testify at court so the evil parents go to jail (including Carol).

    1. Yumi

      Carol gets convicted on multiple counts of just being a really shitty person.

    2. Freemage

      Sadly, paying for someone’s bail does not make you legally responsible for their actions after that point, unless such a responsibility was court-ordered as a condition for bail. (Unlikely. I wouldn’t be surprised if Blaine not only coughed up cash, but also used some of his mob ties to find a ‘flexible’ judge.)

      That said, she will hopefully be able to testify at her parents’ divorce trial.

      1. SuperZero

        It’s fairly strong evidence that she’s abusive, though.

      2. CJ

        Do divorces in the US still (or again) need to determine whose fault it is they want to separate or why should Joyce need to testify?

        1. Yumi

          In some states, divorce can be filed for a reason that includes fault, but no fault divorces are also an option. In some states, including Indiana, no fault divorces are the only option (I think– I live in a no fault state, but not Indiana). Most divorces don’t go to trail, though they can if a party is particularly difficult.

        2. thejeff

          It generally gets nastier when fighting over dividing assets or custody of children.

        3. Yumi

          It can also get pretty nasty even without going to trial. It’s not a fun time. But since custody isn’t an issue, I don’t think Joyce would testify even if it did go to trial. (My mom’s a divorce lawyer, and I’ve typed up a number of documents for her over the years. Trials, not that common. My mom getting frustrated with how it’s going, common.)

  15. Poskie

    god damn it, the toenail was a metaphor all along

    1. clif

      No that was Mike. Mike was a metaphor all along.

      1. MK15

        The real Mike was the friends we made along the way.

        1. Tan

          I think you mean: The real Mike was the nickels we made along the way

        2. Council

          Fucking your mom

  16. King Daniel

    A voice bearing a strange ducal Thingley accent can be heard faintly echoing in the background:

    “Joyce Brown and the Mediocre Body Horror…“

    1. clif

      Though with the accent it sounds a bit like

      “Flesh balls, flesh balls, rolley poley flesh balls, …”

    2. Keulen

      I really hope Joyce hasn’t been wearing the same sock on that foot all this time.

      1. He Who Abides

        She’s probably been throwing her socks away after each use, because ew.

  17. Cattleprod

    I didn’t expect that level of body horror in this comic.

    1. clif

      At least it happened offscreen.

  18. DailyBrad

    I am glad she got the update she needed, even if it’s not the one she wanted.

    Also, I kept expecting that brick joke to come back around.

    1. Lingo

      I think the more appropriate term is Chekhov’s Toenail

      1. clif

        If there is a toenail on the mantle it must hang on until the third act?

  19. Josh Spicer

    The only toes that should be smooshing around here is Becky’s dad’s head.

  20. pienapp1e

    yeah, i’ve had that toenail-smooshing around feeling. it is very uncomfy and gross

  21. brumagem

    Totally unrelated to today’s comic, but I keep seeing people reference Mike being dead and I can’t tell if I’ve missed a comic, not heard the Word of Willis, or if it’s just a joke. LOOK I JUST WANT MY SWEET BABY BI BOY TO BE OKAY HE WAS JUST STARTING TO SPROUT A CONSCIENCE AND BECOMING A RELATABLE CHARACTER

    1. Yumi

      He’s probably not doing great, but we really don’t know.

      1. clif

        I insist that his head hit the thin roof of Blain’s car and he’s fine now except for, you know, having his head permanently stuck upside down through the roof of a car.

        1. Needfuldoer

          He landed on that weird hat brim part of his hair. He’s fine, except that part snapped off and now nobody recognizes him.

        2. Hilzabub

          Now he’s like except with a car.

        3. Hilzabub

          Yeah, managed to mess that up. I meant Mr. Canoehead except with a car.

        4. Roborat

          Yes! Somebody else who remembers Canada’s greatest aluminum crime fighter. It has been a while, wonder how his brother is doing.

    2. Creatrix Tiara

      There was a Something*Positive comic that had a wave for Mike but its canonicity is dubious.

      1. Creatrix Tiara

        *a wake, not a wave, sorry
        https://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01272020.shtml

        1. King Daniel

          I think Willis said something on Twitter about it being for Walkyverse!Mike (S*P has crossed over with the Walkyverse before), who finally fell to the Soggies.

        2. Rose by Any Other Name

          I mean, it does LOOK more like Walkyverse Mike, so…

    3. Jo Giggles

      Willis left us with a cliffhanger weeks ago, so Mike may or may not be dead.

      1. Ron again

        It feels like months but it’s just past one month. Almost stopped reading the comic…

      2. Geneseepaws

        So Is he Schrodenger’s Mike, or Heisenberg’s Mike? Is that the knotty question; whether he be, or whether he be not?

    4. AeromechanicalAce

      Well, We last saw him Tackling Blaine off of a fire escape several stories up while making An “I’ll see you in hell” quip, so people are kind of assuming.

      Personally, I suspect Mike is just too damn contrary to die, but he’s probably at least in the hospital right now.

      1. Agemegos

        Toedad took Mike to hospital, and got arrested for breaking the conditions of his bail. Baline is on the run in Toedad’s limousine.

        1. Agemegos

          Blaine, not Baline. That’s a typoe. I don’t know what Baline is doing.

        2. clif

          Wasn’t a limousine. Blain was in the same car back on Faz is Great day.

        3. Yumi

          Is this still about the gun thing?

        4. clif

          I’m not precisely sure what “this” refers to, nor am I sure if the gun in question is Toe Dads or Checkov’s, but in either case I believe the answer to the question to be no.

        5. Yumi

          In the comments a couple days ago, Agemegos said, “A limousine and an SUV are basically the same thing, right? It’s an easy mistake to make if you don’t know much about cars.” in a discussion about the difference between a rifle and a shotgun. I thought maybe they were connecting back to that for some reason.

        6. Agemegos

          Yeah, it’s amazing how long that has been going on. Toedad’s gun was identified down to the specific make and model (Ruger No.1V) on the 10th of October 2015. The claim that it was a shotgun has been corrected in the comments something like ten or twelve times. But here we are after four and a half years with some regular posters still trying to push the narrative that it was a shotgun.

        7. Yumi

          I don’t think it’s so much people “trying to push the narrative” as it is “people don’t really care.” I know I don’t.

        8. Sunny

          Baleens are eating krill mostly.

        9. FacelessDeviant

          Probably being dead in the Mines of Moria.

      2. Freemage

        I figure Mike’s alive. Oh, he died, but Heaven said, “Nope” and Satan took one look and said, “I’m NOT spending eternity with this douche,” and so he’s now canonically immortal.

        1. clif

          While that was unexpectedly perceptive of Satan, the general trouble with kicking the can down the road is that eventually you run out of road.

        2. Azhrei Vep

          Mike now suffers the curse of Jack Stingy, to wander the world of the living with a tiny ember in a rutabaga to light his way.

    5. Zee

      I’m still going with he’s unconscious in hospital and is going to wake up and realize that nobody cared enough to notice he’s missing and figure out why, cue full blown character arc

  22. Tacos

    Ew. That’s not a mental image I wanted to visualize.

    1. clif

      No-one wants to visualize floppy socks.

  23. DT

    Toenail got loose, toedad got loose (outta jail), synchronicity!

  24. King Daniel

    Between the recent happenings with Toe-Dad, and now this with a toe-nail, we can certainly say…

    …that trouble’s a foot.

    1. Ste

      This is brilliant

  25. Regalli

    Awww, honey. Just a red-letter week for you, huh Joyce?

    1. BBCC

      Today is just not her day in particular.

  26. JessWitt

    Wow, Joyce‘s train of thought between the previous comics and this went from 0 to 60 and back again. That’s astonishing.

  27. Bagge

    at least three different immediate crisis to deal with RIGHT NOW. Think quick, Dorothy!

    1. clif

      Go for four.

  28. segnosaur

    Well, if there is one silver in these events, its this:

    Both the church and Blaine spent lots of money to bail out ToeDad. Hard to tell for sure, but I think the assumption is that he will somehow be implicated in the fight from the previous night. That will probably violate the terms of his bail, which means that both the church and Blaine will forfeit thousands of dollars. The church apparently couldn’t afford to pay all the bail themselves (so now they have even less money to spend on brainwashing people), and Blaine may have to explain to either his wife or the mob how he lost more money.

    1. Agemegos

      I hope the pastor put the church building and grounds up as collateral. But a congregation like theirs probably rents some scruffy commercial space.

      I hope the Browns’ bank refused to lend money on a second mortgage on Hank and Carol’s house.

      1. Needfuldoer

        It’s more than likely both of them are on the paperwork for the house, so they’d both have to fill the paperwork out.

        There’s nothing stopping Carol from unilaterally spending everything in their joint accounts, though.

      2. thejeff

        We’ve seen their church. It’s pretty nice. (You know, other than the people.)

    2. BBCC

      If Yuri’s the daughter of a mobster like I think she is, he might very well find himself answering to both.

    3. BenRG

      Personally, I’m betting that Blaine used mob money, which will get him in trouble with Asher and Faz’s grandfathers too (not something that you want to happen, especially if you might be shortly spending some time in jail). However, the point is that if the money went through the Church’s account, they’re probably also going to be facing money-laundering charges.

  29. TheFlamingonator

    oh no oh no please no don’t show me a frickin toe without a toenail i am going to blue screen of death

    (yes i know its a comic but STILL)

    1. Sunny

      I googled it, and it’s not so bad. I also learned that some people are born without fingernails and toenails. You can also have them surgically removed so they stop growing. Just smooth skin where you expect the nail, it actually looks sorta cute.

      1. Liquid Len

        I mashed my left thumb with a hammer once. Had a big blood blister under the surface of the nail near the cuticle. After a couple of weeks the nail was growing out and the blister dried up and fell off. For a couple of weeks after that I had two thumbnails growing in series. THAT was weird to look at!

    2. HeySo

      I’ve lost plenty as a kid, it looks more natural than it does WITH nails. With nails, the flesh underneath the nails is a bit irregular and milky in appearance. When you lose the nail, you’ve got some really clean, baby-like flesh underneath. Generally looks nicer than the surrounding skin. Feels a bit tender and formless, so it’s a bit awkward, but there’s also no longer any sense of pressure there (from the nail) which sort of makes up for it. So generally it’s not really good or bad in any aspect, just different. Take it as being similar to babies- bit awkward looking, but also more delicate and soft looking.

      Of course, that’s if you lose the toenails due to fracturing and vibrational shock [ie, the nail falls off, but the toe itself isn’t much injured]. If you lose them due to rupturing, bruise-swelling, etc.. then you still have to deal with the negative imagery those injuries inflict on the area.

    3. Astrid De Meester

      I’ve had it happen two years ago, it’s mostly just a weird rough patch of skin on your toe. probs depends on how you lost it tho cuz mine was cuz of an infection which meant it looked grosser with some open wound but also that my toenail was pushed off fully by the new nail which was already growing underneath and I had no bruising

  30. Arianod

    God deliver us from smooshed toenails with a sense of dramatic timing.

  31. Bunny

    Run to Becky now! Hop of you have to.

  32. BenRG

    Joyce’s toenail always had the worst timing.

  33. jedimasterdelta40

    How poetic, the toenail comes free as the toeman walks free

    1. Lawzlo

      I… wow, that totally went over my head. Good catch!

  34. BenRG

    Anyone else think that, in panel 4, Dorothy is thinking: “Oh, ik.”

    1. Roborat

      She is probably trying to guess which neurosis this is going to trigger, and the best way to deal with it.

  35. Kaz

    It’s the end of an era.

    1. BenRG

      Indeed; I’m quite sure that Joyce’s neuroses will be urging her to adopt the nickname ‘Ninetoes’.

  36. JBento

    Walky’s gonna have a field day with this.

  37. Rabisch

    Don’t worry Joyce. Your toenail will, slowly, grow up again. Your relationship with your mother, on the other hand….

  38. Romanticide

    Dorothy hold Joyce arm or let her hold on to you so she take out her shoe and take the nail out (mostly so she doesn’t have to step on the floor as she would probably wouldn’t like it)

    And wow, Joyce guessed right in everything. I am impresed.

    1. Roborat

      And then Dorothy should start singing: “Let it grow . . . “

  39. RedCat

    I don’t understand how her mother could approve of this. That man pointed a GUN at her daughter! He could have killed her! Are Americans this desensitized to guns? Why wasn’t her first reaction “I have to keep my child safe”, why was it “oh this was clearly Becky’s fault”.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Yes some Americans are this desensitized to guns, and cars, and a whole bunch of things that kill us by the thousands. And when you have a person that is outside what you consider “human” they can absorb a myriad of sins as the scapegoat, even when before they came out as whatever non-human thing you are now shunning you treated them like family.

    2. Agemegos

      She might be dismissing and disparaging the sources that tell her things that undermine her preferred narrative. “Ross McIntyre is a godly man. He wouldn’t do such things.” — that’s pretty convincing if it supports what you insist on believing.

      Besides which, the actual truth involves a vigilante gymnast is a super-suit performing parkour and wrestling on the roof of a speeding car and jumping from one moving car to another, and a hot biker chick performing a jump across the path of an on-rushing truck to catch a falling woman in mid-air and sweep her safely out of mortal danger. That’s easy to dismiss if you didn’t see it, and especially if it undermines the narrative of your righteousness and eternal reward.

      1. thejeff

        It’s possible, I suppose. She’s shown no signs of disputing the events though, just whether Becky was to blame for them.

        1. Agemegos

          Yeah, I say it’s possible, not that it’s likely. And on the gripping hand Carol’s conduct and moral standards are awful either way.

  40. Chaucer59

    Still no sign of Mike’s body anywhere, eh?

    1. Opus the Poet

      Or Blaine nor Ross. Probably cleaned up and the crimescene tape taken down hours ago.

      1. thejeff

        Honestly, the longer it goes on, the less I think he’s dead. Murder, at least if discovered by the cops, would make the news and somebody would have heard about it.

        1. Vulcanodon

          He has suffered all the fates until revealing which one collapses reality down to a single fate.

      2. RedCat

        A crimescene ON CAMPUS would be talked about, though. Someone would have noticed.

  41. Astrid De Meester

    Man I remember when my toenail came loose after I had an infection and damaged my toe real bad.
    Super gross feeling, just shock and horror as the damn thing came off but at least I was at home.

  42. thumb

    No, Joyce. That’s a good feeling. The toe part. The rest of it is pretty shit.

  43. DarkoNeko

    At least it doesn’t hurt ? (the nail, not the utter and horrific betrayal from your mom)

  44. Liquid Len

    Is Joyce going to learn guitar now?

    1. Liquid Len

      didn’t get the tags right. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/toebreaker/

  45. KJ

    At least you just smashed your toe and your toe nail fell off, Joyce. Trust me, could have been worse.

    You could have ridden a bike back from TIS with all your new textbooks in a bag on the back of it, then had the bike fall on you when the chain jammed in the courtyard near Wright, had the gear impale your toe (because you were nihilistically riding a bike wearing flip flops like you’d been doing your entire life up until that very day), then had to dress that gross wound with duct tape and paper towels because bandaids wouldn’t stay on! And then also have your toe nail fall off!

    1. Agemegos

      One time I stubbed my toe against the blade of a scythe while running away from my big brother.

      Another timeI was sparring bare-footed, took a step backwards, and found that my foot had gone down into a gutter while my toenail had stayed on the kerb. (Except for a strip at the back where it stayed attached, flopping like a trapdoor.

      Toenails! there is a reason that they are constantly growing back.

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        My question is – who left a fricken scythe lying around where children were playing?!

        1. Agemegos

          I was running through the toolshed/lumberroom to escape my brother. It was a room under one end of the garage, built with the idea that it might be a granny-flat one day, with two doors to the ouside

        2. Agemegos

          Also, my brother and I weren’t playing, exactly. He wanted to hit me for refusing to do the washing-up when our parents were out for the evening. I thought we ought to use the dishwasher, like we did every other night.

      2. KJ

        the first one of those stories I was like “ok that happens”
        that second one is HORRIFYING

        1. KJ

          amendment: first one of those stories became less “ok that happens” after you elaborated

  46. Roborat

    I hope somebody has grabbed Joyce’s lunch for her.

  47. Bathymetheus

    Objects in toenail vision are closer than they appear.

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