314

Problem
Posted on December 23, 2014 by David M Willis

314 thoughts on “Problem”

  1. Jen Aside

    subtle

    LIKE A BRICK

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Smoooth… like sandpaper.

      1. thebombzen

        Chill…

        Like a fire

        1. Anonymous Commenter

          Good for health…
          Like Ebola

          Sorry, was that too soon or has the joke been played out too much as is?

        2. TachyonCode

          Funny…
          like a poorly-timed bad joke.

          Just gonna leave that to interpretation.

        3. Lume

          Good…
          Like Ebola-Chan.
          ^messed up shiz

        4. Lord Geovanni

          Pretty…
          Like your mom. (you get it. right)
          Unless your name is Stacy

        5. Stacy's Mom

          That’s because I’ve got it going on.

        6. Lord Geovanni

          Right place right name right time + 20 internets

        7. otusasio451

          Sweet…

          Like my ex-wife.

          *sobs quietly in corner*
          **Note: I have never been married, this was only said for comedic purposes.

        8. Halloween Jack

          Outtasight like a Cenobite using dynamite to blow up a stalactite.

      2. Solenoid

        Slick… like gravel.

        1. JessWitt

          I hope that guy eats a lot of it.

        2. MarieGrey

          Crunchy…
          like soggy cheerios.

        3. WubbGmbaa

          Calming…
          like hardcore death metal

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      LIKE A CINDERBLOCK.

      1. thebombzen

        Easygoing

        Like a Boss

        wait

        1. nothri

          Easygoing,

          Like your mom.

          For a nickel.

      2. grantimusmaximus

        She came in like a cinderblock!
        Her brand of justice fuckin’ rocks!
        All she wanted was a douche to KRAK!
        All she wanted was to Ki-i-ick ass!

        1. nkh

          Thanks for that. Saved me the trouble.

      3. otusasio451

        You mean that guy from the last panel? Because I’d love to see him and this guy team up to form a DoA Legion of Doom.

        1. Roborat

          More like Legion of Doofuses. . . No, Legion of Douchebags.

    3. Anonymous Commenter

      Hold on, I got a good one this time
      Enjoyable to watch… like /gif

      1. TheZachariah

        She’s got the moves…….like Jagger.

    4. jaimehlers

      Clear as mud.

  2. Idon'tcarenomore

    Go get him girl. AG

    1. newllend

      Go get your man/punching bag.

  3. Khaner

    Can I see the man get punched about a thousand times?

    1. Luzahn

      Amazi-girl is far too competent to let that happen. 😛

      1. Sterling

        Yeah. She’d take him WAY out in way less than a thousand!

    2. otusasio451

      Well, it is the holiday season. You may just get that wish after all.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Someone needs to make an animated gif of this.

      1. otusasio451

        They then need to make that gif into a Youtube video, set to the NyanCat song.

        1. Dibullba

          Oh please, clearly it would need Batman: TAS theme music

      2. cesium133

        I haven’t made an animated gif of this, but I made this one of Amazi-Girl a while ago: http://i.imgur.com/7UDwL8B.gif

    4. Jen Aside

      ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA

  4. The wizard

    Quick, cast a haste spell, and then a fireball!

  5. Stephen Bierce

    Buckets-of-Blood-Guy will get his money’s worth tonight.

  6. Opus the Poet

    Yay! AG was just threatened in front of a witness. Time for a(nother) beatdown.

  7. Rosicrucian

    Check those teeth.

    HE’S A WEREBRO.

    1. Kernanator

      Don’t be silly.

      Obviously he’s a bropire.

      1. AgentKeen

        TEAM WEREBRO

      2. Stephen Bierce

        Or he could be a Ghoulmale.

      3. otusasio451

        I’m operating off of the theory that he’s actually a chupacabro.

        1. Barf Ninjason

          hey hey, high-five, sez I ↓

      4. liahansen

        Bronkenstein. And yes, before you say anything, I know Bronkenstein was the doctor, not the monster.

        1. otusasio451

          Well, if you go off of the assumption that the monster was Bronkenstein’s creation (whose first name was Chad), you could say his name is Chad Bronkenstein. So, technically, you could be right.

        2. grantimusmaximus

          Let’s not go down this road; tragedy is the only outcome for the poor Bronkenstein’s monster.

        3. JWLM

          The Bronkenstein’s monster is an unreliable narrator.

        4. Barf Ninjason

          Yours is better though. I can admit that now.

        5. Barf Ninjason

          Dammit, I meant to say that in response to the “chupacabro” one. I can’t do nothin’ roght today!

        6. otusasio451

          You, uh…you misspelled “right.”

        7. Barf Ninjason

          …….or DID I?

        8. otusasio451

          You, uh…you did.

        9. la6uɐ mous

          I think that was the joke. He can’t do anything right today, and he misspelled “right” to prove his point.

      5. Barf Ninjason

        He’s a Bropacabra

      6. Rosicrucian

        Somebody call Abroham Van Helsing.

        1. otusasio451

          Do you mean Edward van Broan, Baron Brokenstein, Hannibro Lecter, Mel BROoks, or Broverine?

          That took far longer than it should have to compile.

    2. grantimusmaximus

      The only way to cure the bite of a werebro is getting that tribal tattoo from 2011 removed and kicking that Monster Energy habit.

      1. otusasio451

        I assumed it was a silver brolet. Which is a shooter composed of gin, tonic, and Smirnoff Ice.

        1. grantimusmaximus

          That, plus a semester in Women’s Studies couldn’t hurt.

  8. Luzahn

    Amazi-Girl montage go! There’s a chance you’ll be better than storylines involving realizations of sexuality@

    1. otusasio451

      Well, now that you’ve said that, who KNOWS what’ll happen? This storyline’s going until the end of March, after all.

      1. JessWitt

        It sounded awfully long at first, but March really doesn’t seem THAT far away.

        1. Solenoid

          Time Marches on.

        2. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          Oh… that was a great pun. Just punched me in the gut with its funniness.
          heh. heh. heh.

        3. tyersome

          … wow, I completely missed that – I may not have time to marchall my forces for a proper response …

        4. Yet Another Laura H.

          You Oct to Nov better, Jan.

        5. tyersome

          Aug! That was so rotten its gone Septic.

          I think you win the bad pun of the months award.

        6. Amazistool

          If you can’t wait, just use a time marchine.

  9. Kris

    If it was a joke where’s the punchline? Oh I see it! It’s your nose being broken.

    1. Jupiterror

      in the FACE

      1. Sterling

        FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

    2. John

      No, that was the kneeline. The punchline’s coming up in a second here.

    3. nothri

      Kickline really.

  10. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    Amazi-girl kicking ass. Yup.

    Meanwhile, at Woody After Hours, I have to say I just love Billie fake celebrating Ruth’s absence. Her expression is just wonderful.

  11. newllend

    Dude come down she was just joking about the whole Knee to the face thing.

  12. grantimusmaximus

    AMAZI-GIRL! Knocking out creepers because focusing your violent urges for righteous reasons feels so damn good.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Paying evil onto evil is its own reward.

  13. magey

    I wanna be amazi-girl and beat up gross dudes

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I wanna be Billie and stab the world!

      1. otusasio451

        I wanna be Dina and be a dinosaur!

        1. tyersome

          That’ll never fly …

        2. Bill

          Some dinosaurs did.

        3. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Some do.

        4. No Name

          Most do

        5. Bill

          I don’t know.  While I will accept that modern birds are direct descendents of feathered dinosaurs, to call a robin, a crow, or even an eagle a “thunder lizard” is a stretch that even I am not willing to make.

        6. Deanatay

          ‘bird’ is only what we call them. Their own name for themselves is something along the lines of, “Super-Advanced Airborne Stealth Raptor, Model 5×10^23”.

        7. Doom Shepherd

          I’ve seen some really aggressive roosters that clearly think they are STILL dinosaurs.

        8. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Yeah, the comparison of dinosaurs to chickens is supposed to make them sound less scary, not more. Seriously, does anyone know why chickens, ducks and geese all seem to be extremely aggressive sociopaths?

        9. John

          You ever been stalked by a wild turkey?

        10. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          No. I have heard a variety of tales and seen a lot of videos of people walking peacefully along a river and then getting their faces halfway gnawed off by an angry duck or goose.

        11. Roborat

          Do not, and I repeat, do not, ever, ever, piss off a Canada Goose.

        12. otusasio451

          Or a swan. They will break your arms without a second thought. Graceful bastards.

        13. Amazistool

          @Deanatay: How comes the name you proposed contains “5×10^23”?
          This is really close to one mole of matter?
          (One mole = number of atoms in 12 grams of pure carbon-12).

        14. Random832

          > Seriously, does anyone know why chickens, ducks and geese all seem to be extremely aggressive sociopaths?

          Because they’re dinosaurs. And not just any dinosaurs. Birds are evolved from theropods Noted extinct theropod genera include Tyrannosaurus and Velociraptor.

        15. Halloween Jack

          I wanna be Becky and have the whole wide world of lesbianism to discover.

  14. Solenoid

    Superhero montage. Excellent! Hand his ass to him.

    1. Barf Ninjason

      Really hope there’s a little breather episode in there where she’s waiting in line to buy a Slurpee.

      1. Rosicrucian

        Amber doesn’t get Slurpees.

        Not since… the accident.

        1. Barf Ninjason

          Damn, I meant to say a more neutral junk food. Hmm.

  15. JepMZ

    How is she not crashing during the day? So much work at night

    1. grantimusmaximus

      Perhaps more on that will be revealed in this storyline?

    2. Boomwolf

      A butt ton of coffe?

    3. timemonkey

      The only class we’ve seen her in is so far beneath her she doesn’t pay attention and doesn’t appear to be early morning, so getting to sleep in plus no need for higher brain fuctions until at least the afternoon.

    4. John

      Amazi-Girl sleeps all day, while she lets Amber drive.

      1. democraticMayonaise

        I’m pretty sure that’s the ONLY plus side of this.
        … except creeper hard-knees.
        Amazi-girl = Captain Falcon?
        Amazi-Punch?
        Amazi-Kick?
        Amazi-Girl Dittos when you’re bored?
        I could see this happening.

    5. Solenoid

      Frequent, brief, and well-timed naps can keep a person going for a long time. The jury’s out on how advisable this is.

      1. EEWWW

        As a third shifter for the past several years, two hours of sleep once or twice a day with the occasional 15 min nap can be sustained for several weeks. The caveat is that it can make you extremely cranky… yeah, pretty sure that Amber/AG can do this all through the undergrad years.

    6. Bill

      The adrenaline rush can also keep one going.

    7. Amazistool

      She has been seen oversleeping before.

      Admittedly that was after a whole night of hunting Ryan.

    8. phaggood

      forget sleep, how does she find time to get the blood out of her costume?

  16. Bluesnake462

    A montage of happy Amber can only mean disaster is comming her way

    1. Solenoid

      Consider what’s making her happy. Tragedy is only ever a sudden realization away.

    2. otusasio451

      I’m willing to bet that the suphero montage is foreshadowing the downfall of Amazi-Girl, either because she’s interfering with Amber’s collegiate career, or (and this is my personal favorite theory) because she’s defeated by the DoA Legion of Doom, or the Amazi-Girl Revenge Squad.

      The members include:
      Cinderblock (from yesterday)
      The Brovert (from today)
      The Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit (AKA Evil Joyce)
      Sal and her gang
      Mike (because why the hell not)
      and Blaine O’Malley (obviously the leader)

      1. Bagge

        Don’t forget Ross-the-square-butthole.

        The there is the neutral Force Of Nature both sides avoid – The Raptor.

      2. Jon P

        And the traffic sign guy? Or is that Ross?

      3. 4th Dimension

        * In a nasal tone of voice *
        Actually if you read It’s Walky you would know that official Evil Joyce’s name is Anti-Joyce.
        😉

      4. Seerow

        This lineup is missing Sydney.

        1. Bagge

          This comic is missing Sydney

      5. Freemage

        You forgot the unspeakable horror that is… Faz.

  17. Kernanator

    Let’s come up with other things this guy is wrong about!

    1. Boomwolf

      He was wrong about that hair cut looking anywhere near good for one.

      1. grantimusmaximus

        He’s pretty wrong about that billy-goat flavor-saver on his chin.

        1. otusasio451

          He was wrong about NOT getting his face fractured tonight.

  18. Yotomoe

    FALCON KNEE!!!!

  19. Beachfox

    “That bongo knew I was just joking!”
    “Yeah, and I didn’t hit you. You just ran your face into my knee. Oh look, you’re about to ram it into my fist a few times too.”

    1. Opus the Poet

      I approve of this dialog, and so does my avatar.

  20. Bagge

    Acceptable targets of violence. Amaziegirl is having fuuuun.

  21. Victor Riley

    Amazi-Girl… fighting rape culture at every turn. Rock on!

    1. grantimusmaximus

      LITERALLY fighting it. With a knee to the nose.

      1. clodia

        It’s the only way to be sure.

  22. Mkvenner

    Remember amazi-girl ten minutes with a hacksaw saves thirty with a shovel.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Or two minutes with a industrial wood-chipper…

      1. 4th Dimension

        Yes but than you need to clean the woodchipper, and it will make a lot of mess that also needs to be cleaned up.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Not if you freeze them solid first.

          There was a guy who almost got away with it, too, years ago, except someone noticed (and remembered) some guy using a wood chipper on a bridge in the middle of the night. Police divers in the river managed to find fragments of a tooth they were able to trace to his missing wife.

          SO close.

        2. Bill

          They found FRAGMENTS of a tooth, in a river, underwater, and were still able to trace it back to a specific person?  Whuff-da!

        3. JWLM

          On the bank of a river with both dentin and root material. (Remember, a tooth is a living thing.) There’s plenty of DNA in that to run a PCR on that.

  23. Mike Crichton

    Look, it’s really about Ethics in Walking.

    1. Solenoid

      Here, have an internet.

  24. Iremo

    How does she find these people? Is the campus so crime-ridden that she can just take a stroll and find muggings and car thefts and harassment situations in progress, or is some sort of Amazi-sense involved?

    1. Nena

      You’d be surprised at what goes on in Bloomington.

      1. Bill

        Or any other large college campus.

    2. grantimusmaximus

      Indiana is the new Gotham.

      1. otusasio451

        She’s the hero Indiana deserves. Just not the one it needs right now.

      2. Luzahn

        No no no, it doesn’t have nearly enough hilariously-themed supervillains yet.

        1. otusasio451

          I dunno. We’ve got Cinderblock, the Brovert, the Whiteboard DingDong Bandit. We’re on our way to a DoA Legion of Doom.

        2. Luzahn

          Yeah but that’s only three. You need at least 10 of those to quality as a Gotham.

        3. otusasio451

          Gettin’ there, man. Gettin’ there.
          Remember: we have yet to introduce Sydney Yus into this universe.

        4. Solenoid

          Blaine can be the Bane stand-in. The name is similar enough for punny purposes.

        5. otusasio451

          I could totally see him in the Nolanverse Bane mask.

        6. fogel

          The League of Evil Exes had 6 members

        7. grantimusmaximus

          If not a Legion, then at the very least a Secret Society of Evil.

        8. Kryss LaBryn

          Don’t forget about Mary; she probably counts somehow.

        9. fogel

          Mary delenda est

        10. Yet Another Laura H.

          “Mary delenda est.”

          You win Internet of the day.

        11. Amazistool

          Amazi-Girl (and “her army”) prevented an atrocity of The Hooded Bicycle-Thief.

  25. Packy

    Damn, AZ kicks ass.

    1. otusasio451

      I dunno, I’ve always been partial to California myself. Plus, Arizona has the plague. Not a selling point.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Hantavirus is not the plague, not even a close relative to the plague.

        1. tyersome

          You are correct bacteria =/= virus … however, plague is one of the many ill plaguing the western US! (http://www.cdc.gov/plague/images/USPlague70_12_611_pxWide.gif)

          This message brought to you by a nerd hoping enough people will leave California so there will be room for me to go back 😉

      2. tyersome

        So does California! — I’ve even camped in an area with plague warning signs (just west of Mono Lake) … strangely there weren’t a lot of other campers around …

  26. SmilingCat

    Less talking, more punching his face until the stupid stops coming out.

    1. JessWitt

      Let Dr. Amazi-Girl administer the stupid-ectomy.

      1. Solenoid

        “I’m very sorry, but the stupid has spread to the brain. The patient is terminally stupid.”

  27. shoeboxjeddy

    Hey, the first vigilante action that’s both necessary and helpful since… Danny was being attacked I think? I mean, stealing that car was bad, but calling the cops would have been good enough there.

    1. Rutee

      There was a woman who had her purse stolen too, so not THAT long.

  28. otusasio451

    The Brovert. The second member of the DoA Legion of Doom, after Cinderblock.

  29. grantimusmaximus

    Honest question: who the hell does that kind of thing anyway? I mean following around random ladies and yelling at them? Do they think that works? I just… I just can’t imagine ever thinking like someone who would do that.

    1. otusasio451

      You should be very happy about that. I know I am.

    2. Em

      It happens quite a lot! Pretty annoying and terrifying. Once you’ve had it happen to you, you never feel safe again. Or at least that’s how my friends and I have felt.

    3. Solenoid

      I’ve heard it said that it’s more about power than anything else… which makes the guy in the strip all the more punchable.

    4. lekoppa

      This literally happened to me on Bloomington campus over the summer – except the guy was a lot drunker and more explicitly crude. It was terrifying.

    5. Freemage

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A 10 hours walking through the streets of NYC; she gets catcalled lots, and one guy, after she ignores his initial comments, just paces next to her, silently, for several minutes.

      1. Oberon

        I was going to mention that also. It looked incredibly creepy in the film of the event, this guy who the woman obviously didn’t want to have a conversation with just walking beside her for 10 minutes.

        And then all the other guys looking to make some kind of connection with a woman who just happens to be walking buy. I’m not even counting the catcalls, those are bad enough but at least I can kind of understand what they are thinking even if it’s gutter level thought. I’m talking about the guys who say things like “Hey, I just want to talk to you,” as if they actually thought that true love, or even casual sex, was going to be found by them shotgunning invitations to talk to every girl who walked by them.

    6. Yet Another Laura H.

      Happens a lot a lot. I thought it was a city thing, but I moved to a semi-rural suburb, and the aggressions, though less constant, are more intrusive— fellows following me while drawing attention to the fact that they’re masturbating, driving circles around me in parking lots yelling speculative obscenities about the size of my womanparts, etc. I’m not actually very attractive: forty-plus, overweight, slight limp. I can’t imagine what the pull is myself.

  30. Em

    CURB STOMP THAT MOTHERFUCKER!
    I mean, you go girl! Way to stop him!
    (also i should probably not be advocating potential murder but whatever)

    1. Bill

      Whatever this dickwad gets, he had it coming to him.

  31. John

    Gotta admit, that obituary line was some pretty good overconfident-mook-about-to-have-his-face-kicked-in banter.

  32. Jeeves

    Man, at this rate she’s going to pound Danny’s pelvis into powder at the end of the night.

    1. Solenoid

      Man of Cardboard.

      1. Bagge

        “But you can take it, can’t ya, big man?”

        1. jaredstar1

          what we have here is a rare oppertunity for her to cut loose and show him jjust how powerful she really is.

        2. Bagge

          …I really have to get that slipshine subscription.

        3. Bill

          She did that already vs. her father.

      2. tyersome

        Woman of Titanium?

  33. Bagge

    He was wrong about being funny. He wasn’t funny.

    1. Bagge

      Aaaaand that was meant to go in the “how art the walking-bro wrong let’s count the ways”-thread way up there. I fail internet today. Here, take my cookie.

  34. Jon P

    That dick needs to get his ass kicked. In the face.

    1. Opus the Poet

      The dick needs to get his dick kicked, to his face.

      ftfy

    2. Bill

      “I’m gonna kick you in the crotch so hard you’ll be able to use your nuts for a necktie.”

  35. Kyle

    fucking destroy his ass, amazigirl

    1. Malecus

      After the Slipshine stories, your line takes on a very different meaning.

  36. NinjaNick

    Amazi-Girl is awesomesauce!

  37. Equuizzicals

    Could willis’s christmas gift to us be a week of amazi girl being awesome? Cause I would like that.

    Also props for that vintage amazigirl with that busaiku knee

    1. Oberon

      How does that translate? The knee that made his face ugly? ‘Cause I think it already was…

      Anyway, is this a week of Amazigirl kicking ass? Not that it would be a bad thing, but I hope they are not all just shorts and we see some follow through. I want to know what happened to cinder block man! Does AG just administer ass whuppings, or is there ever a “leave them tied up where the police can find them” part?

      1. Freemage

        Nah. Final episode of DoA will just have a cut-to panel of the bottom of the campus pond, and oh-so-many corpses.

        1. Amazistool

          You mean like that TV Tropes image of Susan Richards, after taking a level in Badass.

  38. beege

    Every college campus should have an Amazi Girl.

    1. JessWitt

      And I said to myself, “What a wonderful world.”

  39. oldFart

    Does the “no one dies” promise apply to everyone, or just main characters? Because it looks like that’s where this is headed eventually. AG is going to kill somebody, inadvertently perhaps. Maybe she’ll use a choke hold?

    I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t cheer good-guy on bad-guy violence. I know many people here are fans of superhero comics, but that is just part of the indoctrination. Not that the authors are in some sort of conspiracy, but that they, like everyone, to some extent buy in to the good-guy/bad-guy paradigm. This is the paradigm, sometimes called “the myth of redemptive violence”, that keeps us in constant wars. ANYTHING can be justified if one thinks of oneself as the Good Guy getting the Bad Guy. I’m sure the members of the Islamic State think what they are doing is right and proper, because they are the Good Guys giving the Bad Guys what they deserve. The cops and their supporters think the same thing in the recently notorious killings. I don’t see AG as being that different, really. Or any of us, because we all buy it to one degree or another.

    1. tyersome

      Nah, there are definitely a few people who disapprove of this kind of over-the-top vigilante violence rather than cheering it on … I was called out by one of them a few strips back … so, you’re not alone … sadly I’m in the old enough to know better, but still slip up occasionally frequently group …

      1. tyersome

        screwed that up … fixed?

        1. ukrongrad

          OF, I know you mean well- and it is much easier for vigilante violence, or any other form of violence to go wrong than for it to go right- but I was fed that same line as a kid. “Don’t respond with violence, the bullies are only trying for attention, ignore them, don’t lower yourself to their level” etc. I tried to do that. And kept getting my face kicked in by the bullies. There are simply some twisted, sick souls who enjoy hurting people and will only stop under the threat of being hurt themselves. Beyond self defense, standing by and doing nothing while someone else is attacked by one of these people is not courage or moral superiority- it’s cowardice in leaving someone else to suffer while you are safe. Can that be taken too far? Are there circumstances where such action is wrong or where motivations should be examined? Sure, all the time. Those are the judgements and decisions involved in being a human being. To opt out on all action is to hand the world over to the most violent and ruthless. I highly suggest you read a poem called “The Hangman”by Maurice Ogden. Remember the final line, the ultimate truth of every bully and tyrant: “I did no more than you let me do.”

      2. Bagge

        You are right, it is problematic on so many levels. That kind of revenge fantasy can be a power trip, but it can also be a justification for horrible things. And it promotes the idea of casual violence in confrontations.

        I think that’s part of the appeal with Amaziegirl (as a character in a story, not as a putative real life person). She does the same thing in universe – she finds acceptable targets of violence and hurts them. And she enjoys it. We recognize that what she does is wrong and damaging (look at the speculations today and yesterday of what will happen when/if she hurts someone permanently), but we also see the appeal of living out those fantasies.

        Just look at what she does here. She is hunting these people for sport, and she hurts them for sport. She didn’t have to kick this man. All she had to do was walk up to them and tell him to stop. It would likely result in a shouting match, maybe he would take a swing at her (and given what we’ve seen of her physical ability she really wouldn’t be in much danger), but it would interrupt the harassment and give the woman time to get away. Instead she opens with a knee to the face.

        More power to you to recognize when you slip up, tyersome.

        1. tyersome

          Thanks … I get a lot of practice!

    2. Zaxares

      Yeah, I’m worried that that may be a oath AG ends up heading down too. If the recent news has taught us anything, it’s that human beings are surprisingly fragile. That knee-to-the-head, while entirely deserved by that creep, could also have knocked the guy out, and he then dies when he falls to the ground unconscious and hit his head on a hard object. (It’s actually happened to a few people here in Australia, so don’t think it’s a remote possibility.)

      Amazi-girl is a person whose heart is in the right place, but I hesitate to say that she’s somebody who should be applauded. If anything, it only makes me even more against vigilante justice.

    3. Varius

      You’re a tool.

      Good vs evil is archtypical. If you really want to see all sides, you’re going to have to step a lot further back.

      Bothe Brown and Gardner were committing crimes and Brown git exactly what he deserved while Gardner was simply an unfortunate accident m the choke didn’t kill him, the heart attack long afterwards did.

      As for Israel, I cheer them on. They are fighing terrists. Nothing more. Nothing less. Burn them all. Israel may not be the “Good” in that “GvE” but the terrorists are certainly the “Evil.”

      1. Varius

        Wow. Posting by phone was a poor choice. Tiny keyboard makes for many typos. Sorry.

        1. Makkabee

          Is this a parody post?

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          One can only hope so. If not, it is at best a heartwarming example of a willingness to display his utter ignorance of Middle Eastern politics. But then stupidity is always brave, if only because imagination is necessary for fear.

          The call for genocide is a nice touch.

        3. fogel

          Since pretty much everyone who posts comments on line about Middle East politics is ignorant, intolerant, self-righteous, demonizing, etc, etc, etc, to one degree or another, no surprise about Varius, but I’m not betting much on you, either, (based on what you’ve posted here) If there isn’t a named internet law about this, there should be.

        4. fogel

          PS, Varius May be a tool but did NOT “call for genocide” EVEN IF his call to “burn” all terrorists may tend to that in its effects.

        5. Doom Shepherd

          A call to burn all terrorists is only seen as a call to genocide by people who believe that all terrorists are of one people, or all of one people are terrorists. Ya racist.

        6. Freemage

          The problem is that the terrorists are embedded in a civilian population, the vast majority of whom have no connection to terrorist activities. A ‘burn them all’ policy aimed at the terrorists, by simple causality, means that you’re accepting the notion of burning a lot of innocents caught in the way. This, of course, leads to the next generation of terrorists, who are seeking revenge for their parents, siblings and so forth who were caught in the most recent wave.

      2. Phas

        Yeah, I’m glad they passed that new law repealing the need for due process before execution. It’s made everything so much simpler.

      3. fogel

        No, you’re a tool 🙂

        1. fogel

          Wow! Brilliant argument! (Iow, You don’t help your case by starting like that.)

      4. alicemacher

        What puzzles me is that no one even alluded to Israel before Varius brought it up.

    4. Standback

      Yeah; this is fairly disturbing. I think that’s intentional; Amber using AG as a “legitimate” violent outlet has certainly been hmmm’d and haw’d over in the strip explicitly. I’m wondering how far Willis is going to take this.

    5. Killjoy

      When IS spends their time prowling college campuses thwarting impending rapes, instead of committing mass rape, you might have a point.

  40. Thasvaddef

    aaand we have a new least likable character. Damn, Beckydad, you held on to your title for like a week.

    1. Bagge

      Beckydad is too much of a looser to keep a title like that. Poop that guy.

    2. Bill

      Becky’s dad and this guy still are running #2 and #3 to Blaine.

      1. nothri

        Still miles behind date rape man, to be honest.

        1. fogel

          Party predator rapist

    3. Paul

      This guy isn’t even a character, any more than cinder block guy. Blaine O’Malley and Ryan Roofie (he has no last name in the Walkypedia, despite existing in at least two universes) are both characters, and not unlikely to re-appear at some point.

  41. SilentAsshole

    I can totally imagine Amazi-Girl waiting in the bushes for the perfect moment to strike as well as to give witty remarks to whatever was said: ”C’Mon, she’s pretty damn close to getting raped! Think of something witty before it’s too late!”

  42. Jason

    This is… a little too real. Hit me a little too close to home.

  43. Benjy

    I approve.

  44. Atropos

    Getting your ass kicked by Amazi-Girl is like getting your ass kicked by Black Widow but with 82% more sass.

  45. jaxx sentinel

    Amazigirl has mastered Captain falcons knee . we are all screwed

  46. Darnel

    Yeah,.. he has this beating coming to him.
    I was sympathetic until he described a woman he harassed as a “stupid bongo”

    So AG get a green light and a thumbs up from me to hurt his feelings,… and beat his azz.

    1. Bill

      I feel likewise — and I’m not even female.

      1. fogel

        ??

      2. Darnel

        ??

  47. Paul

    Supposedly this comic takes place in a universe without magic, superpowers, alien technology, etc. That means that Amazi-Girl isn’t always going to win every fight. She is going after people bigger and stronger that she is; sooner or later she is going to encounter one who also knows how to fight. Or is armed. Or a group of such people. She only has to lose once.

    1. Bill

      But this is not likely to happen.  Most people on college campuses will *NOT* be armed, for example; college police take a dim view on people walking around with firearms, concealed carry laws notwithstanding.

      And I’d want to think that Amazi-Girl knows enough to pick her battles, and keep herself in check enough to be able to maintain a clear head during the course of said battles and let her opponents beat themselves.  Turning an opponent’s force and effort against themselves is, after all, the principle of judo, jiu jitsu, and many other forms of martial arts.

      1. Paul

        Do you really think that Amazi-Girl is going to be able to turn her back on a crime because she is outnumbered?

        As for the campus police making sure that everyone is disarmed…if they were that competent, there would be no need for Amazi-Girl at all.

        1. timemonkey

          As her reputation grows so does her intimidation factor. She’s also protected by the power of Willis. While there are scenarios she wouldn’t be able to handle but would be horrible for her to not interfere Willis will simply not write those scenarios occurring.

    2. Shadow Eagle

      She hasn’t met her BANE, yet.

      1. Kim

        You mean her “Blane” 😉

    3. Luzahn

      She is capable of pretty extraordinary physical feats, though. Just look at her chase scene.

      Definitely well-trained, I’d think that should allow her to take down anybody who is unarmed easily.

    4. Kris

      She’s already lost once. To Sal and her gang. They had numbers.

      1. Solenoid

        Indeed. The only reason that didn’t get ugly was because Marcie’s got a good head on her shoulders.

    5. Vangeln

      She already lost to Sal and her gang.

  48. Myergh...

    Oh my God this was satisfying.

  49. Evan Dark

    Give in to the Dark Side, Amber, and together we shall rule the … Oops, wrong movie.

  50. Lordess of Madness

    OH YEAH! Amazigirl kicks butt! This getting awesome! No sap! Just pure awesomeness! To rephrase Rainbow Dash: This does NOT need to be 20% cooler!

  51. Makkabee

    That is one of the most satisfying knees to the face I’ve ever seen.

  52. Deanatay

    All of Willis’ villains attack their foes with this “RAWR IM A DINOSAUR” pose this guy does in Panel 4. Maybe it’s meant to be intimidating, but all it seems to do is leave their vitals exposed. To punching.

    Here’s Blaine doin’ it: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/approved/

    1. fogel

      🙂

    2. Bagge

      Well, it IS intimidating here
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/theraptor/

  53. SonicBlueRanger

    Is the whole storyline going to be Amazi-Girl beating up Criminals? Because I’d be totally okay with that.

    And Cue Gut-Wrenching Drama Bomb in 3…2…1

  54. kirbiliusclausius

    There doesn’t seem to be much armor in the costume. Considering how her financial situation is otherwise (costume, videogames, not paranoid over scholarships like Sarah), shouldn’t she spring for a at least a bullet proof vest? Even if it ‘can not’ go under the costume, they come in blue.

    1. John

      She’s not worried about scholarships because one of her rogues gallery is paying her tuition.

      (Wondering if I should put TRIGGER WARNING: BLAINE on that link. I avoided looking at that actual strip after the first reading because it fills me with visceral rage and makes me want to punch my screen.)

    2. Roborat

      Don’t know about bullet proof, but a stab proof vest would be a good idea.

    3. Amazistool

      A phone charger cord! A frigging phone charger cord and she asks Danny for this!
      Do you reallly think her financial situation is such excellent?

      1. kirbiliusclausius

        in the same tone of voice as people wanting a particular flavor of ice cream because it just broke on her. it is not like the art shows her other stuff broken or her mentioning that her gaming rig is sub par. amber is not bille , probably not the walkertons, but clearly not sarah.

  55. Cabbage

    and i just got even gayer for her oops

  56. Regalli

    Man, what an asshat.

    Probably not the best move for AG longterm to beat him senseless, but certainly a cathartic one.

  57. Doom Shepherd

    By G’Quan, I can’t recall the last time I was in a fight like that. No moral ambiguity, no… hopeless battle against ancient and overwhelming forces. They were the bad guys, as you say, we were the good guys. And they made a very satisfying thump when they hit the floor.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      B5 was the best show, man. G’kar was the awesomest. <3

      1. timemonkey

        And so it begins.

  58. Paul

    Worst case scenario: This guy claims to have been beat up by Amazi-Girl out of the blue, for no reason, and his would-be victim does not come forward to challenge that story. Campus police would then be out looking for a vigilante (if they aren’t already), and they would be armed.

  59. Killjoy

    I’d love to just see Amazi-girl go to town on a bunch of deserving jerks, but I doubt that’s what we’re going to get from a “Damnyou” Willis comic.

  60. Swoop

    What happens if Amazi-girl gets her ass kicked? If she meets a better fighter, will she stand her ground or retreat? There’s a strong possibility she is the best fighter on campus, but that doesn’t mean she can win every fight. All it takes is a little bad luck to end up in the hospital.

  61. MrBurrows

    So, Willis, when someone manually inputs their postal code when they order something, it’s because your system has THE WRONG ONE!
    I gave you the CORRECT postal code, but you decided I didn’t know my own address and went with the one your system provided.
    I managed to get the package, but it got redirected all over the place and almost got lost.
    Please keep this in mind in the future. American made systems don’t understand Canada.

    1. Killjoy

      It’s possible that there’s also a less obvious flaw in the system, and it spat out the “corrected” code on Willis’ side even after you put in your actual code. I’ve seen that happen (used to do a TON of package shipping and receiving).

      1. MrBurrows

        I guess that’s possible. He should just scrap his auto-address thing entirely for Canada then, as it doesn’t know what it’s talking about.
        On the plus side, not only was the Dinobot poster unexpectedly signed (he might do that to all of them, not sure), but I also got a bonus “At Galasso’s” poster, signed.

        1. MrBurrows

          Now that I think about it, the “At Galasso’s” poster replaced the Dinobot one for a couple days… maybe it used the same item code, and though it was given it’s own unique one now, the code to the dinobot one still tells him to send both.

        2. David M Willis

          No, I sent the extra poster because I was being nice. That turned out really well for me.

        3. Yet Another Laura H.

          Drat it, Willis, where is your tip jar? I want this to turn out well for you. (Actually, I want to say “thanks for the great comic, keep churning ’em out,” but.. sigh. Can anyone tell me where to send tips? I am not in a position for merch right now. Maybe I could just buy something for a random fan?)

        4. Yet Another Laura H.

          Also, does he ever lampshade the resemblance of Becky to Becky on Scrubs?

        5. Jen

          Patreon is his tip jar. 🙂

        6. Yet Another Laura H.

          Shoot. I know a steady income is preferable, but I’m in roughly a freelance situation myself, so I can’t do monthly payments (no, not even $5. And thanks, all you nice people who are about to lecture me about how to manage my money, but my system works for me. My student loans are paid off. Are yours?). Sigh. Oh, well, nice to think about.

    2. David M Willis

      I did not know you had manually inputted a postal code. I also did not purposefully attempt to alter it.

      I don’t know what you’re talking about.

      But thanks for telling me what I did and what I meant by it.

      Don’t order anything else from me, please.

      1. Roborat

        Maybe give him the benefit of doubt and assume he is mad at your purchasing software, and not you personally? As a fellow Canadian, I have had to deal with U.S. systems not understanding Canadian postal codes on occasion.

        1. Solenoid

          Re: Benefit of the doubt… check Willis’ twitter feed. He posted a screenshot of some other things this person’s been saying and doing.

        2. Bill

          The moderator (Willis) could probably just ban anything from that ‘@sharklasers.com’ domain and it wouldn’t matter how many identities the fool tried to use.

        3. Roborat

          Umm, yea, weirdness. That has caused me to revise my opinion, I don’t know what is up with that guy. Based on that, I retract my statement.

        4. Axel

          I dunno, “but you decided” sounds pretty personal and accusatory.

  62. democraticMayonaise

    So this guy thinks that AG’s in the Journalism thingy? And AG’s saying that he likes being wrong because he put in a threat which he couldn’t uphold AND that? I need clarification.

    1. Killjoy

      The school paper has been doing articles on Amazi-girl, those are the headlines he’s referring to.

      When she says he’s super into being wrong, she’s referring to the where she says he’s wrong about what his problem is, and that he’s wrong about kicking her butt next.

  63. Paul

    While Mr. Willis is here…

    If I understand correctly, the collected Joyce and Walky can be purchased as a single downloadable, uh, thing of some sort. Is the same true of It’s Walky?

    Also, does Roomies segue into It’s Walky and vanish, run in parallel, or something more complicated than either?

    I would like to purchase and binge-read the entire Walkyverse in an order that would make sense.

    1. Jaearess

      Roomies and It’s Walky! are available for free at joyceandwalky.com, in order of publication (as far as I know.) It’s not the greatest site to navigate, but they’re all there. Roomies ends and transitions into It’s Walky!

      In addition, the free Joyce and Walky! strips are also on that same site. These are mostly stand-alone gag strips. The Joyce and Walky! strips available in the store are paid-only strips that continue the story of It’s Walky! (similar to Shortpacked!, though much more directly.)

      If you start at the beginning of joyceandwalky.com and read through till the end of It’s Walky!, you’ll be right where the paid Joyce and Walky! strips start.

      The method I would suggest is to start by reading itswalky.com from the beginning. Willis is current uploading Roomies and It’s Walky! there, in in-universe chronological order (so Roomies strips that were created later in real-time but occur during the original Roomies run are in the correct places.) In addition, he also put up new versions of the first It’s Walky! storyline, and is providing commentary for each strip as he posts it.

      Once you’re all caught up on itswalky.com, you can go to joyceandwalky.com and pick up the story from where ever itswalky.com left off until the end.

      1. Paul

        Thank you for your help.

        Roomies strips that were created later in real-time but occur during the original Roomies run are in the correct places

        Would that be the Roomies strips that were written for a comic book that ended up not happening? I see those mentioned in Walkypedia, and it is one of the things that had me concerned about Roomies and It’s Walky continuity.

        Oh, and do the characters from It’s Walky move over to Shortpacked with their memories intact?

        1. Jaearess

          I think that may be the case about the Roomies strips, but I’m not certain. Here’s an example: http://www.itswalky.com/comic/collegeho1/

          And ‘yes’ in regards to Shortpacked. Characters from It’s Walky! that appear in Shortpacked! (whether as regulars or guests) are the same characters, with the same memories, etc. Rommies/It’s Walky!/Joyce and Walky!/Shortpacked! are all part of the same continuity.

  64. espanolbot

    Wait a minute… it’s a few strips before Christmas… something horrible’s gonna happen, isn’t it?

    1. Solenoid

      Of course something horrible is going to happen. Where would the story come from otherwise?

  65. ensiform

    While this guy is a douche and campus rape is a very real horror that is enabled by douchey frat culture, I am somewhat put off by the fact that this guy did not actually commit a crime. Is there another instance in which AG has brutally beat someone who is only thinking about a crime? Even in yesterday’s cinderblock strip, the perp admits he has already damaged the car once.

    1. Bill

      Because when you are dealing with a jackass, first you need to make sure you have his attention.

    2. A

      I am pretty fucking sure sexual harassment is a fucking crime.

      FOLLOWING SOMEONE AND SAYING LEWD THINGS TO THEM IS HARASSMENT.

      When is the better time to punish him, after he has physically assaulted her and forever traumatized her mind and body even more?

      Asshole.

      1. ensiform

        Now now, let’s not be angry about a cartoon.

      2. ensiform

        To expand my one-line snark, which is admittedly unhelpful…

        I mean, this is why the police can’t just shoot, or even arrest, people carrying gloves, ski masks, and crowbars near jewelry stores.

        (Tragic current real-world counter-examples to the contrary… Sadly. I don’t mean to make light of the murder of suspects by police. But they shouldn’t choke a man to death on suspicion of selling cigarettes, and AG shouldn’t brutalize a man just for following a woman and being a prick.)

        1. Axel

          I think you missed the first part of A’s response.

          Physical assault is not the only form of harassment. He was already sexually harassing her.

        2. ensiform

          But as much as people would like it to be, it isn’t a crime (as far as I know). Repeated verbal sexual harassment is prohibited on campuses and can be a criminal matter in the workplace, IF it is repeated to the point of creating a hostile work environment. A lot of the reactions to verbal sexual harassment are voluntarily draconian, and for good reason. But cops aren’t going to arrest construction workers for yelling lewd things at women.

        3. Clif

          It’s wrong. The advantage of being a vigilanti is that you don’t have to worry about
          Legal nicities.

    3. Killjoy

      Look at his hands and how close he is… it seems to me that Willis might be trying to convey a level of threat beyond “just words”.

      Given his size, his position and stance, and his words, I think that anyone in the unnamed woman’s spot would be completely justified in feeling highly threatened with bodily harm at that point.

      If she had turned around and maced him, or nutted him, at the point where AG attacked, she’d have been completely within her rights as far as I’m concerned.

      1. Paul

        Unfortunately, “defense of another” is held to a much stricter standard than “self defense”, provided you are allowed to use it as a legal defense at all.

        Yes, I have been getting all downer over this new story arc, but Dumbing is supposedly set in the “real world” compared to It’s Walky, and there are reasons why we don’t have superheros in the “real world”.

        1. Solenoid

          Have no fear. This being a Damnyou Willis comic, those reasons will likely rear their heads.

        2. ensiform

          @paul, this is what I was getting at.

        3. Axel

          Well, there are people that dress up as superheroes in the real world though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real-life_superhero

          To my knowledge, most of them do non-violent forms of community service, unlike Amazi-Girl, but it is a real phenomena.

        4. Jerden

          It’s because nobody is as BATSHIT BADASS as Amazigirl in real life.

      2. Yet Another Laura H.

        Yup. Look up the difference between assault and battery. Being deeply threatening is still assault. Doesn’t make knocking a tooth out okay, but don’t think that there aren’t women who have fantasized about giving people for whom respect is not a reason a “reason to respect.”

      3. Kris

        The fact is there are faults on both sides here. Nameless woman is clearly distressed which means Jerkbro’s probably been following her for some time. Long enough to graduate from annoying to threatening in her mind. Still he hasn’t actually done anything even though his dialouge does imply intent. If a cop were there he’d probably be stopped and warned maybe put in the backseat for a bit. We don’t get a cop we get Amazi-Girl and a Tiger knee! This stops the situation but there are different better ways it could have been handled. Maybe even on a different night it would be but for some reason Amazi seems particularly amped tonight so she’s looking for confrontation which isn’t really a great mindset for crime fighting. This escalates the situation to Jerkbro showing clear intent to harm her which is probably what she wanted in the first place to better justify kicking his ass.

        Jerkbro’s a scumbad and probably deserves a bloody nose but Amazi-Girls no angel either. Batman could have stopped this with his shadow. That being said its still better than nameless girl getting hurt.

        1. kirbiliusclausius

          because hes white an shes black he gets a warning. reverse it, see what happens

        2. Clif

          Re: he actually hasn’t done anything. Well, yes he has. Do you remotely imagine that this kind of behavior is okay?

        3. Kris

          No, but the point is it just barely skirts a line which makes the whole engagement a little more of a gray area.

  66. Joseph Picard

    This is too much of a perfect rescue. AG might be due for a bit of a minor reality check, but for THIS guy? Nuh-uh.

  67. Marie

    I hate fucks like him. I don’t care if it’s a crime, I wanna help.

  68. King_Crimson

    i hope the next page is just a flash of him getting punched. an infinite loop of that douche bag being beat up by amazigirl

  69. kirbiliusclausius

    is not http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/related/ meta funny in the context of joyces last storyline

  70. Jadedcynic

    Aw, poor dudebro lost his ‘fedora’ in chasing his victim, then lost ‘his future girlfriend’, then lost some teeth, and soon will lose his consciousness…

    …colour me – wait, what colour would ‘schadenfreude’ be?

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