Side-eye
Posted on July 3, 2018 by David M Willis

131 thoughts on “Side-eye”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Joyce is practically NORMCORE

    1. Side One

      I play acoustic guitar in a NORMCORE band. “Side-Eye in Heaven” is the name of our debut album!

  2. DeepThought42

    The real Jesus works in a toy store in alternate demension.

    1. Danni

      and watched the avengers

      1. Regalli

        He liked it better than Short Circuit 2, even!

        Important question: In a post-Soggies world, what new and important media still exist for Shortpacked customers to complain about? Does Buckets of Blood Guy have his own reshoot script campaign for The Last Jedi?

        1. Danni

          theres wonder woman 84 for buckets of blood guy to whine about

        2. Regalli

          When each of your creepily-involved grim and gritty reboot pitches lasts as long as his did, I guess you can only expend energy on so many properties.

          … Swet Picture Bible Jesus, I just realized he probably loves the DC Cinematic Universe at large.

        3. Clif

          The power of rage knows no limits.

        4. Reltzik

          Of COURSE he doesn’t.

          First, “love” is not a thing for him.

          But more importantly, WHERE WAS THE BLOOD?

          The Batman v. Superman trailer’s “Do you bleed?” line hooked him in because, dammit, he wanted to see Supes bleed!

          And then Batman nerfs Superman with kryptonite and goes full-hog punching-spree with powered armor… and Superman DOESN’T ACTUALLY BLEED!

          Bucket of Blood Guy was complaining all over the internet for months that Supes should have lost a dozen teeth and perhaps had his jaw torn off entirely before the kryptonite wore off.

        5. Regalli

          Oh yes, how could I forget.

          Also Jared Leto needed far more screen time, and also to get to dismember someone.

      2. Doctor_Who

        He’s got the blue sash, at least. Robin insisted.

      3. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

        And in a totally unrelated alternate dimension, he’s a member of the Avengers.

        (Not really, but I’d totally watch that)

  3. Danni

    LIKE A NORMO

    1. ShinyNeen

      Casually swearing, LIKE A NORMO!
      Letting food touch, LIKE A NORMO!
      Respecting other peoples’ beliefs, LIKE A NORMO!

      1. Deadjolras

        Using the term ‘normo’, LIKE A NORMO!

        1. Danni

          the n’s in my name stand for NORMO

        2. GoblinScribe

          This last bit is extra-funny if you imagine Joyce saying it.

        3. Deadjolras

          Joyce Brownormo.

      2. Deanatay

        Does DoA have a new meme?

        Yes, I think it does.

        Business as usual here, in the DoA forum.

        LIKE A NORMO

  4. Icalasari

    Swore, Normo

    Sworno?

    1. Chris Phoenix

      I ship it.

    2. marianne

      Thanks, ants. Thants.

      1. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

        I thought thants were thulium pants

  5. Ele

    Need to track down an alternate dimension of some sort where Marcy and Malaya did sexy stuff at each other. Come on, quantum theory, don’t fail me now.

    1. BBCC

      There’s still time.

  6. Agemegos

    Jacob has 666 votes in the doodle poll!

    1. Yumi

      Someone pointed that out a few days ago, and I think the poll is closed now, so that will be his number until it goes away, I guess.

    2. Tacos

      I’m just happy to know I contributed to that number total.

    3. CJ

      Can you program a doodle to stop once one option gets a certain number of votes?

  7. Tacos

    Normo? That’s a new one. I’ve only ever heard Normies.

  8. Stephen Bierce

    *Muzakified version of “The Ballad of John and Yoko”…*

  9. Passchendaele

    HARDCORE SWEARING

    *gasp* she might use damnation next! or even damnable! *faints*

  10. BKC

    Peak triangle smile in panel four! It’s like a mayonnaise Dorito is eating her face, what an adorable little normo.

    1. Needfuldoer

      But mayonnaise flavored Doritos are probably still to spicy for her…

      1. Tacos

        Mayo flavored Doritos sound awful.

        1. Deanatay

          Imagine Cool Ranch flavor, without the dill and buttermilk…

        2. Tingar

          Ewww. I mean, you’re not wrong.

          But ewwwwwww.

  11. Derek

    what’s with Joyce looking smug and closing her eyes whenever she talks to Jacob? won’t that wear thin?

    1. Reltzik

      …. actually, it’s looking like it’s one of those obnoxiously silly competitive in-joke cutesy games that couples engage in, and he’s just as eager to engage in it as she is.

      So yes, it will wear thin… for everyone around them.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Maybe removing the visual stimulus puts her logical brain back in charge?

  12. Sunny D

    My birthday comic has the word “normo” in its dialogue
    I’m satisfied.

    1. JBento

      Happy birthday \o/

      1. Clif

        Happy Birthday, normo.

        (Hm. I feel compelled to add, no insult intended.)

  13. Kernanator

    Joyce, the word you’re looking for is “normie”.

  14. jeffepp

    Hmmm… Expecting Jesus to wear a blue sash… What comic had that… Oh well, doesn’t matter. Probably done by one of those artists that just abandon their comics.

  15. Marsh Maryrose

    Jacob gets his Jesus ideas from a library ebook app?

    1. Clif

      I imagine there are worse places.

  16. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . .Ubby?Libby? What is Joyce saying there? And I must say that I, raised Roman Catholic, always look forward to the discussions that Joyce and Jacob brought about last time they were discussing religion. Hope it happens again.

    1. Tacos

      Libby. As in Liberal.

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        Those old enough to remember the Libby’s jingle can sing along:

        “If you’ve got Libby, Libby Jesus
        in your Bible, Bible, Bible
        your theology is suspect
        but perhaps the error’s scribal”

        1. Zathras10

          And once again I find myself wishing for a way to uprate comments here. This is hilarious.

    2. Yumi

      She’s saying “libby.”

  17. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    Besides everyone knows that the “real Jesus” would have worn a purple sash or red sash. They compliment the white robes so much more then the baby blue sash.

    1. Whatevsman

      You’re not even wrong. Dunno what’s with the blue sash. Just doesn’t work as well

      1. Bagge

        INSPIRED DOCUMENT!!!

        1. Clif

          https://www.amazon.com/Picture-Bible-Iva-Hoth/dp/0781430550

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      In what universe is it safe to assume that any random person from the past had anything resembling a fashion sense?

      1. Bagge

        I once attended a great seminar in the history of clothing which debated underwear. One problem with using paintings as sources is that people are usually depicted dressed or undressed, not inbetween.

        But scholars of underwear have found one great source of information: St. Sebastian. For whatever reason, pictures of him tend to depict him dressed in whatever the local underwear was at the time and place of the painter, being perforated by arrows.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          “Scholars of Underwear” is either the poshest lingerie store or some sort of cheeky band, not sure what genre they are, but I think their hit song is titled: “St. Sebastian.”

        2. Bagge

          …I kinda hoped it would be a bar of questionable yet fashionable reputation

  18. Yumi

    For some reason, I failed to notice the skin tone of the hand on Joe’s face in the Slipshine image, and I thought it was Joe’s own hand. Like he was just…touching his face for some reason…

  19. Puckish Rogue

    Well Dorothy if you want to get over Walky you could do worse by getting under Jacob…

    I’m sensing some slight interest on Dorothys part and Jacob and Dorothy makes more sense as a pairing plus the added drama is a bonus

    1. ShinyNeen

      JacobxDorothy, or the S.S.TWO MOMS!
      Uh, at least in my head.
      Anyway, is this the first time Dorothy and Jacob have talked on-panel? A quick tag search suggests yes!

      1. Puckish Rogue

        We know she likes sculpted caramel abs so she could certainly go an upgrade

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        It depends on how you define “Dorothy and Jacob talked.”

        They’re in the same panel and they both talk, but not to each other.

        1. ShinyNeen

          Yeeeaaah, I didn’t look at that comic very closely when I did that “quick tag search”, huh? You’re absolutely right, they’re all talking together as a group in that one and that very much counts.
          But hey, bonus, that scene is an awesome contrast to today’s comic! Regarding Joyce and swearing, specifically.

        2. Marsh Maryrose

          I read your question as, “Did they exchange at least a minimal amount of information,” which they didn’t in that strip. In fact, since she left right after that, all she learned about Jacob was that he was Joe’s “new main man.”

      3. Deanatay

        Over Walky, under Jacob… Jacob/Dorothy/Walky sandwich!

        Or is it a sub?

        (Walky would not mind subbing, I think)

        1. Puckish Rogue

          Why add a cocktail wiener when you can stick with a spicy kielbasa

    2. mschmidt62

      No.

      1. Puckish Rogue

        Both attractive, both high achievers, both want time to study but also sexy times and Jacob has the added bonus of not only way less personal drama for Dorothy to deal but also will completely understand Dorothy and what she needs for her career choice

  20. BBCC

    Huh. Joyce and Robin apparently owned the same picture bible as children.

    Which explains a LOT.

  21. timemonkey

    Huh, so Joyce and Robin think the same.

  22. Koms

    Where did the salt and pepper go?

    1. Dean

      She fidgeted them out of existence.

    2. Tacos

      She ate’em.

    3. Clif

      She shook them at the correct frequency and they tesseracted out.

  23. Keulen

    Joyce, stop trying to be normal and just accept that weird people are far more interesting.

    1. Bagge

      That was kinda the advice Sal gave her about being cool, after all.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/fudge/

  24. Vinny

    Wait til Jacob tells her about Black Jesus…

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Yeah, because exposing Joyce to [Adult Swim] is such a great idea.

    2. brionl

      I call dibs on telling Joyce about Raptor Jesus.

      1. Yumi

        I get Kung-Fu Action Jesus.

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          And I get the Gospel of Carol (who does indeed wear blue).

        2. Tacos

          And I call dibs on Transformers Jesus. AKA Optimus Prime.

        3. adjudicus

          But in which continuity?

        4. Clif

          Obviously not the one in which she accidentally googles Octipoidal Jesus Tentacle Porn

    3. Deanatay

      WTFWBJD?

  25. BigDogLittleCat

    The most appealling thing about Joyce is her awareness of and sense of humor about her neuroses.

  26. darkoneko

    Historical Jesus is frowning at you from the toy store, Joyce.

  27. Bagge

    Honestly, I think they would have really interesting theological discussions – especially moderated by a well read atheist, especially since they all like each other.

  28. Speedball

    Huh. Something she has in common with Robin.

  29. BenRG

    I know exactly where Joyce is coming from here: Childhood influences are incredibly difficult to shake and do more than you can imagine to shape our preconceptions of reality than we sometimes realise. We all go through life making assumptions based on the stories and picture-books we read as children; some of us even are lucky enough to realise it!

    1. jeffepp

      This is why I get so annoyed at the dumbed down crap we teach kids. People become fixed with the childhood explanation, and forget or ignore the more detailed one later.

      1. thejeff

        To some extent it’s necessary. You can’t put off everything until they’re old enough and kids can’t actually grasp a lot of the real explanations.

        I do find the Picture Bible stuff particularly annoying though, especially from supposed Biblical literalist groups. So blatantly a way of indoctrinating kids into their interpretation of the Bible, while conveniently glossing over anything that might raise questions about it.

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          I haven’t seen the Picture Bible other than in excerpts, but I’m guessing it doesn’t deal with, say, the sacrifice of Jephthah, or the story of Moses and the Midianite women and children.

        2. thejeff

          It also nicely does things like smooth all the various versions and contradictions out into one smooth story arc. Changing the 4 Gospels, which have at the very least different themes and emphasis into a single “Jesus story.”

      2. Mr D phone posting

        When I was a kid I watched a lot of Discovery channel. (My old man watched it a lot and let the TV on when he went out. He also didn’t mind me sitting down and watching whatever he was watching so I got introduced to Alien when I was 4 years old and Hoooo boy that was a trip).

        Anyway, it.meant I knew a lot of hair nature and shit worked, which led to me being a teacher’s pet. Which led to bullying.

  30. Wraithy2773

    ………I just realized that Jacob’s wearing suspenders.

    …

    Why is he wearing suspenders? Do his pants not fit? They have belts for that if not, but most of us buy pants that fit.

    *gives Jacob the fashion side-eye*

    1. BBCC

      ‘Cause suspenders are stylin’.

      Nah, but they do fit his preppy aesthetic.

    2. Egg

      I’m a fan of suspenders myself. I really really hate the sensation of restriction.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Huh… I always thought suspenders felt more restricting.

        Then again, I’ve seen people with suspenders and a belt, and the only reasoning I can think of for that is a low-key bondage fetish.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Can’t find pants in their size so lots of support needed, alternate theory they are androids with teflon coated skin to prevent stains and a belt alone just isn’t enough.

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          Is it weird that I still think my theory is more fun, even with Android’s on the table?

  31. abysswatcher1993

    I hope Joyce hasn’t watched The Passion of Christ. She could get a heart attack because of Mel Gibson’s interpretation of Jesus suffering, and considering Joyce dislike for the Catholic obsession with the suffering of Jesus, she could go on a South Park kind of crusade to get her money back. Also, how dangerous would it be to show The Davinci Code to Joyce?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      It wouldn’t be dangerous to show her that movie, so much as it would be an incredibly cruel punishment. They didn’t even have the decency to not capitalise the “da”.

  32. foducool

    if he was drawn that way, it must be true!

    1. BenRG

      Yeah, because there is no possibility of cultural or ideological influence guiding the artist’s work, is there?

      1. thejeff

        Not when you’ve been soaking in that depiction since before you could read.

      2. Deanatay

        Heathens! DIVINE INSPIRATION is the only way humans can perceive truth!

      3. CJ

        No, naturally the artist was enlightened by the Holy Ghost and can’t have got anything wrong.
        Just like Luke, Matthäus, Johannes and Marc.

  33. Dg

    Holkham Bible Picture Book? Bible Moralisee? Morgan Bible?

    1. Clif

      I just assumed https://www.amazon.com/Picture-Bible-Iva-Hoth/dp/0781430550

      1. jeffepp

        Most likely. The stories were also distributed, and probably still are, in a little comic book, along with some other stories. As an adult, with better knowledge of both the bible and history, I’m aware that the messages in them were a bit… skewed.

      2. thejeff

        Willis’s twitter has occasionally featured outtakes from a picture bible, along with his modern commentary. I’d assume it’s that one, whichever one that is.

  34. New Kid

    Well, it IS a good look for him

  35. Batman

    I’m not a freak, I’m a normo. What the hell am I doing here?

    Joyce calm down its Glasso’s, you asked to come here…..

  36. BenRG

    Something tells me that just watching Joyce babble on and on like this would be a kind of entertainment like watching the clean-up from a car crash on the opposite side of the road!

  37. Buggman

    Later, in Heaven:
    Joyce: Hi, who are you.
    Jesus: Shalom! I’m Jesus.
    Joyce: Wait, what? Where’s your blue sash? And what are those blue strings on your coat?
    Jesus: They’re called tzitzit, or tassels. You know, Numbers 15?
    Joyce: Oh. But what are you wearing on your head?
    Jesus: It’s called a yarmulke, Joyce. Jewish, remember?
    Joyce: I think I’m gonna need to sit down …

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Dorothy: “Hi Joyce!”
      Joyce: “Doty! It’s so good to see you here! I thought they didn’t allow atheists here.”
      Dorothy: “Oh, there’s a lot of atheists here actually?”
      Joyce: “What?!”
      Dorothy: Also, God is kind of eldritch construct that represents the hopes and dreams of humanity, and both him and Satan were created by humanity’s believes, so we are completely responsible of ourselves and evolution is real.”
      Joyce: *Has a panic attack*.

      1. thejeff

        “Shh. Those are the fundies. They think they’re alone up here.”

      2. ShinyNeen

        “God is dead, but I figured I should wait until we were in Heaven to tell you.”

        … I know even less about Judaism than I do Christianity, so I would just embarrass myself trying to draw Jewish-garbed Jesus, I’m sure.

        1. Buggman

          Eh, just find a picture of an Orthodox rabbi in his 30s, and you’ll probably be close.

      3. Buggman

        No offense, Abysswatcher, but you atheists come up with the most boring afterlives. (That, or I’ve been spending too much time looking at writing prompts on Tumblr and Pinterest.) 😉

  38. Waffle Sorter

    Interesting – I think this is the first time I’ve encountered the phrase “inspired document” outside the context of Mormon teachings.

    (To be fair, that context makes up a significant portion of my life, and more of the religious parts thereof.)

    1. John Smith

      It’s the standard religious response to children finally realizing “Wait, but some guy actually WROTE this, right?”

  39. ValdVin

    Joyce, when an atheist tells you you haven’t sworn in the Godly manner, I’d believe it.

  40. Booyahman

    The imgur bible?

  41. Reltzik

    Speaking of swearing….

    Joyce? “Normo” is our word, not your word.

    …

    …. okay, I might not be qualified to use it either.

  42. Nud

    Joyce: A separate and almost equal Heaven if you will.
    Dorothy: *Stare*

  43. Romanticide

    Meanwhile 4 universes over Shortpacked Robin has a sudden and all encompasing feeling of complete happiness and she doesn’t know why but will treasure it all the same.

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