138

Stir-crazy
Posted on February 24, 2018 by David M Willis

138 thoughts on “Stir-crazy”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Freshening up!

    …flatulence

    and…

    …

    fuck it

    1. DarkoNeko

      oh, freshening up works. Nicely done.

    2. MadeForThePuns

      Freshening up is pretty nice.

      I was thinking “Finessing a Flood of fluids to firmly flush filth with a Froth of Fragrant Fat” but i think that might sound too sexual.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Funk-elimination?

      1. Nelly Dreadful

        Filth removal!

        1. Nelly Dreadful

          Curses, Colineo actually suggested that one first!

  2. Kernanator

    You know what else starts with F?

    Faz.

    1. Freemage

      Oh, that would NOT be good…..

      1. Passchendaele

        Nope, it would be great, like Faz

    2. tim gueguen

      “Faz is the most important thing that starts with F.”

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      She wants to feel clean, not feel dirty!

    4. The Other Mike

      Coincidentally, another F-word is a common reaction to Faz.

      1. thejeff

        Faz approves of this reaction. It shows that all the ladies are interested in Faz.

  3. LaduSwala

    So long as she doesn’t substitute with “Febreeze”.

  4. Passchendaele

    fshower

    1. Valerie

      You win.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        We demand a recount!

        1. BBCC

          …

          You’re the EMPEROR.

          Can you not just decree one?

        2. Emperor Norton II

          We like to let people live in the illusion that they have free will under Our reign.

        3. AbacusWizard

          I say, very generous of you indeed.

        4. Clif

          All hail…

        5. Roborat

          And much less work for the Emperor.

    2. Haven

      ?your futile exi-stence has no meeea-ning

      1. Passchendaele

        *dances*

    3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      fsteak?

      1. Passchendaele

        excellent

  5. jimbotherisenclown

    Fumigation?

  6. DinaWho

    Alternatively, a case can be made that the shower is necessary to meet the ‘fresh air’ component of her break.

  7. Derek

    spray on some deodorant

    1. Coma

      But it doesn’t begin with f!

      Also, it will definitely make things smell worse long time – it might help cover any smells for a bit of time, but then it might smell even worse. Plus, it doesn’t alleviate the feeling of “I need a shower right now”-dirty feeling.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Add a lighter and it becomes a flame-thrower though!

      2. Deanatay

        ‘fragrance’

  8. Emperor Norton II

    Focal hyperhidrosis removal.

  9. Tempest

    “fNot getting distracted by whether the things you need begin with F or not” is also one of the three four some Fs.

    1. Leorale

      Focus!

  10. nick

    Fragrant

  11. m-m

    Febreeze

  12. Marsh Maryrose

    Fluviation

    1. Agemegos

      Bravo!

  13. Kamino Neko

    “Fuckin’ washin’ up.’

  14. Valerie

    “Freshen up.”

  15. Zaidyer

    “Fifty McNuggets”

    1. MasakiSayz

      The finest ‘F’

  16. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Eric Clapton’s “Let It Rain” on the hacked Muzak*

  17. Schpoonman

    This is my favorite Dorothy comic strip.

  18. Kyrik Michalowski

    On the one hand, I learned what fusillade means because of Dotty’s bad habits/the alt text. On the other hand, she needs to take care of herself before she has a breakdown. Been there, done that, wouldn’t advise it, ever.

    1. Z

      Actually, fusillade CAN be a synonym of shower, but not in the way that Dorothy needs. “fusillade of bullets” “shower of bullets”

      1. tirachokko

        yeahhhhh I was about to point out the other part of the definition

  19. Keulen

    Planning your breaks so they’ll be the most efficient, Dorothy? Now you’re truly acting like Twilight Sparkle.

    1. JetstreamGW

      Dear Princess Walklestia…

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I think we should go with

        Dear Prince CeLeslia.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          *Princess

    2. King Daniel

      Also: Billieity, Applesal, Ambster Pie(?), Becky Dash, and Flutterdina.

      (Haven’t really watched MLP in a couple of years, but when I first got into Dumbing of Age I ended up reading Dorothy’s, Billie’s, Sal’s, and Dina’s lines in Twilight’s, Rarity’s, Applejack’s, and Fluttershy’s voices respectively…and that’s something that has still stuck with me, with my brain adding Rainbow Dash’s voice to Becky once she became more than a bit character. Not sure who’d be a good match for Pinkie among the Dumbingverse cast.)

      1. Murgatroyd

        Oh my gosh, I imagine Sal, Becky, and Dina talking like those same ponies! Pinkie Pie is totally Riley.

  20. JetstreamGW

    “Fucking shower.”

  21. Marsh Maryrose

    If I’m interpreting the timeline correctly, at this point Dorothy may have been up for approximately 30 hours. (It’s lunchtime and she’s been up since about 5:00 AM yesterday morning.)

    How long does it take for sleep deprivation to start inducing hallucinations?

    1. BBCC

      ‘Bout three days.

      1. Yumi

        Can depend on the person, too. But fun stuff starts happening before the point of hallucinations as well. For example, at 52 hours, I started crying about how much I loved trees.

    2. Samantha Johnson

      I once did this due to stress didnt sleep for three days coloes started warping oddly and delirium set in at about hour 55 or so

    3. Chris Phoenix

      I once pulled two all-nighters in a row in college. I think I slept in my chair for a few minutes near dawn of the second all-nighter. Not counting that, I was awake for about 65 hours. I don’t remember any odd mental effects, even on the third day.

      On the other hand, partial sleep deprivation for longer can have worse mental effects. I do remember once hallucinating slightly (just a sense of dark shadows moving at the edge of my vision) after a string of short nights with no all-nighters.

      And then there was the time I fell asleep standing up. I’d been about to brush my teeth. I woke up still on my feet, with a sense that I’d been trying to put something in my mouth that was too big. And I was holding my hairbrush… with toothpaste on it.

    4. Agemegos

      When I was bored in high school I tried staying awake for as long as I could to see what happened. Started at about 7 AM on Monday and was hallucinating by 11 AM Thursday.

    5. That Dave Guy

      I once stayed up for basically a week, for reasons too stupid to go into.
      By day 4 I was hallucinating out the corners of my eyes.
      By day 5 I was hallucinating right in front of my eyes.
      By day 6 I no was no longer bothered by the hallucinations.
      By day 7 I didn’t even feel tired, in fact I felt like sleep was probably an illusion and I just wasn’t going to bother any more, I mean think of how much life I was missing and how much more I could get dozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      And then I continued to hallucinate for about two or three years afterward. Both visual (the creeping shadows) and tactile (ants crawling on me- sometimes one, sometimes a lot).

      TLDR; I do not recommend sleep deprivation to anyone for any reason.

    6. Portland

      For me it was a little over 36 hours, plus a few weeks of not sleeping well before that. I went to a work study job teaching kids to read, and the words started floating off the page. My boss had to send another volunteer home early to drive me back to campus so I didn’t get lost on the bus. I don’t remember anything after getting in the car, but I did wake up in my bed the next morning, having missed my evening class.

    7. Regalli

      I’ve seen claims it can start as soon as 48 hours, so she’s getting close.

    8. Roborat

      I was once on an army exercise, got about four hours sleep over a week. I don’t remember any hallucinations, but I don’t really remember much after day 2.

  22. BBCC

    Oh, come on Dorothy!

    At least work out BEFORE you shower.

  23. Plasma Mongoose

    Fornicating; while it won’t clean you up, it will at least make you feel better about being dirty.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Sort of, but it’s not a good idea to try and start it while already being dirty.

      I mean, for one thing, sweat isn’t just sweat. We perspire in different manners due to overheating, stress, anger, having a work-out and of course, the sweat that happens when you’re busy having sex.

      Plus, there’s the fact that fresh sweat -especially fresh sex sweat– is not really bad. Heck, licking off fresh droplets of sex-sweat off someone’s chest is in fact rather nice, because at this point, it’s still mostly just water and salt and a few other things.

      Dorothy’s sweat, on the other hand, I feel safe to say is old sweat, at which point the bacteria on her skin has had time to turn sweat into something that smells really nasty, and which is generally considered a turn-off for most people (obviously not all).

  24. Mr. Random

    *Flap Flap*

  25. Meta

    pfft her face in panels 5 and 6

  26. Lingo

    Flush?

  27. Aeron

    Febreze.

  28. Teddae

    dorothy, to maximize time efficiency you can’t base your decisions on googling words that determine them

    in other words JUST GO AND TAKE A SHOWER

  29. jeffepp

    Stir-Crazy on you
    Stir-Crazy on you
    I’m gonna go Stir-Crazy on yoooou
    Yeah

  30. doubleW

    Gotta fit in a shower before my pomodoro break ends aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

    1. Mr D

      OI! No copying my Gravatar! Re-Roll the Grav roulette!

  31. Emperor Norton II

    Also, while I know that DYW isn’t actually much fond of most Transformers sequels; in my headcanon*, the alt-text in this strip is considered fighting words from Wienersmith.

    *Yes, I like creating headcanons for real people. I’m sure you have some headcanon ideas about me too.

    At least in my headcanon you do.

    Stop judging me!

  32. butts

    best dotty face: panel 5

  33. Ellegos

    Flushing.

  34. Gojira

    These are things you need to know when you’re president.

  35. Black

    Looks to me like it’s all starting to come crashing down, and she’s just beginning to break.

    I really don’t want to see what her nervous breakdown looks like.

  36. BenRG

    This is the point where Joyce and Walky need to jump Dorothy and drag her kicking and screaming to a break day whilst she still has some sanity left to save!

    1. Inahc

      eh, I think this is a lesson she’ll need to learn the hard way. better it happens now, when she’s young and healthy and can recover more easily.

      1. Betty Anne

        Yep! If she gets an intervention at this point, and one of those shit assignments she just finished comes back with a shit assignment grade, she’ll be blaming it on the intervention. Better for her to crash and burn on her own, so that she learns (the hard way) not to do this again.

        1. Inahc

          yeah 🙂

  37. Tacos

    Fshow- Oh wait somebody already said it. Uh… never mind then.

  38. NinjaNick

    I love you, Dorothy, but sometimes you stink. 😛

  39. Pidgey

    Falling water

  40. Zaxares

    You can replace “Fitbit” with some “Fornication”, Dorothy. 😉 I’m sure that Walky will be happy to oblige, shower or no shower.

  41. Oysteinthenoisy

    Flume.

  42. Reltzik

    Foreshadowed: First F.

  43. AbacusWizard

    French Cascade.

  44. Delicious Taffy

    Freaking the fuck out

  45. Liliet

    I love Dorothy

  46. GeorgeV

    Flesh Rinsing.

  47. Architex

    I think Jeph could definitely “improve” this one

  48. Dariu55

    I feel like the hover text is look-up bait.

    1. someone

      I do not recommend anyone try showering with a refreshing fusillade. Except perhaps NRA lobbyists, it would probably be their jam.

      Anyways, if “fresh air” counts as an F, then so does “flowing water”.

    2. Agemegos

      Some of us are over-educated dilettantes, and know well what a fusillade is both literally and metaphorically. Some of us, even, know two unrelated meanings of “fusil”, not counting that it is Spanish for “rifle”, and have even cooked fusilli in our time.

  49. Bagge

    “Friends” and “Fun” begin with F, just saying…

    1. motorfirebox

      Sounds like a good synonym for “shower” to me!

      1. Bagge

        Becky agrees.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/sample/

  50. Colineo

    Filth-removal.

  51. Needfuldoer

    Ironic that she’s actively chasing Fs now. Dorothy doesn’t do anything in moderation.

  52. AFluent reader

    Just grab some Febreeze!

  53. Doom Shepherd

    Nobody said “FUNK??”

    1. davidbreslin101

      Go skinny-dipping instead. Call it a “Fish-fashion fluidic freshening foray.”

  54. Dex

    She could always use the archaic “long-s” which kind of looks like an “f,” and write it as “ſhower.”

    1. Geoff

      Shit-titſ I took too long trying to be clever inſtead of juſt being matter of fact and now Dex has beaten me to it and I juſt look like an ignoramus. :ſ

      1. Dex

        I’m just happy I’m not the only person who immediately thought of that!

  55. Geoff

    Juſt uſe “ſhower.”

    Technically ſtill not an ‘F’ but moſt people you run in to won’t know that. They’ll juſt be confuſed.

  56. Eldritch Gentleman

    Dotty! No! Don’t turn into Walky!

  57. Stellar

    Falling Water =Shower

    1. DSL

      That sounds about Wright.

  58. Geoff

    I freaking love the long ‘ſ,’ can we pleaſe bring it back? Round ‘s’ is not nearly as much fun. For people who prefer the round ‘s’ – never fear! Even in the old-timey days of long ‘ſ,’ round ‘s’ was the capital form, and was uſed if ‘s’ was the laſt letter of a word, and in caſes where the letter ‘S’ was uſed twice in ſucceſsion. Alſo, even in thoſe myſtical days of yore, the phyſical limitations of the printing preſs (and the ſame ſ or f confuſion we have now) meant that in caſes with ‘s’ and ‘f’ being adjacent to one another, the round ‘s’ was uſed, ſo all you round ‘s’ lovers ſhould be ſatisfied.

    Phew, ſorry to wax profeſsorial, I juſt went and learned a ſhitload (or an aſston, if you pleaſe) of information about the long ‘ſ,’ and I am a nerd who always muſt ſhare.

    Pluſ I’m ſimply having way too much fun uſing ‘ſ’ ſo I’m juſt making excuſes to keep writing at this point.

    1. Masumi

      Oh, so Engliſh uſed to have the ‘ſ’ too? That’s awesome, didn’t know that! That means it’s more of a coincidence that the ‘ß’ (if I understand correctly, that came from writing ‘ſs’ as a single letter) only appeared in German?

      1. Geoff

        “ß” did briefly appear in other languages, but probably only because the firſt (European) printing preſses were made by German ſpeakers. German eſtabliſhed particular rules for how ‘ß’ was to be uſed, though, and ſo it remained (al. Of particular concern to German lithographers was that, becauſe German has a lot of compound words, and a lot of words in German end in a ‘double-s,’ and a lot of words in German begin with a ‘ſingle-s’ there was an incredible profuſion of examples of “sss” appearing in print – it was more common than all other triple conſonants combined, ſo to improve readibility, the Germans uſe ‘sß,’ for example in “mißstand.” Other languages don’t have that problem – for example in Engliſh we ſimply don’t create compound words that reſult in a triple letter – and ſo it quickly fell out of ſtyle outſide of German ſpeaking countries. Another uſe for ß in German is to ſhow that unrelated but ſimilar words are, in fact, unrelated (e.g. “meßergebnis” (meaſurement) instead of “messergebnis,” which ſuggests the unrelated word “messer” (knife). In Engliſh confuſing etymology is half the fun ſo we don’t need ſuch diſtinctions. Starting in the early 20th century, Swiſs Standard German dropped ‘ß,’ ſo it is no longer ſeen in Switzerland or Liechtenſtein, but it remains in uſe in Germany and Auſtria.

        Eſsentially there was no reaſon for ‘ß’ to appear in other languages, so it didn’t. When a printer was making a new typeface, they wouldn’t waſte time or reſources making type for letters that they were never going to uſe. Eventually, ſtarting in the 1700’s and with proceſs more or less complete in the firſt half of the 1800’s, the ſame fate befell ‘long-s.’

        Alſo ‘ſ’ looks too much like “f” ſo it was removed from new typefaces for the purpoſe of enhancing readability. From the very beginning, “short-s” was uſed in conjunction with “f” to avoid confuſion (e.g. “ſatisfied” inſtead of “ſatiſfied”), and eventually it was realized that if you can get rid of “long-s” in that ſituation then you can get rid of it anywhere. So they did, as explained in the 1808 edition of Printer’ſ Grammar:

        “The introduction of the round s, instead of the long, is an improvement in the art of printing equal, if not superior, to any which has taken place in recent years, and for which we are indebted to the ingenious Mr. [John] Bell, who introduced them in his edition of the British Classics [published in the 1780s and 1790s]. They are now generally adopted, and the [typefounders] scarcely ever cast a long s to their fonts, unless particularly ordered. Indeed, they omit it altogether in their specimens…. They are placed in our list of sorts, not to recommend them, but because we may not be subject to blame from those of the old school, who are tenacious of deviating from custom, however antiquated, for giving a list which they might term imperfect.”

        God I’m a nerd. Thanks for getting me ſtarted on looking up all that hiſtory (I didn’t know this ſtuff before, you juſt made me curious ſo I looked it up, and then of courſe I had to tell EVERYBODY). I had a lot of fun. 🙂

        1. Agemegos

          Lithographers? Is that a typo for “typographers”?

        2. Masumi

          I’m usually a different kind of nerd, but I enjoyed reading that very much, thank you for sharing 🙂

    2. Agemegos

      In one of the Sherlock Holmes ∫tories one of the clues is a note in which long and round e∫ses alternate. Holmes deduces that the note was written by two men writing alternate words, one of whom was taught to write before the change in Engli∫h orthography and the other after: therefore, an old man and a younger one. Since their handwriting was otherwi∫e ∫imilar he concludes that they are related, and his ∫u∫picion falls on a father and ∫on who had a legal di∫pute with the dead man. The ∫tory was written in the 1880s I think, which I ∫uppo∫e places the change of form of e∫ses in the orthography taught at Engli∫h prep ∫chools to ∫ometime about 1840.

      Another intere∫ting point about the the long es is that the mathematical ∫ymbol for integration, ∫, is actually a long es, ∫tanding for “∫um”. As the Greek capital ∆ ∫tands for a finite difference and the Latin lower-ca∫e-script ∂ for an infinite∫imal one, ∫o corre∫pondingly Greek capital ∑ ∫tands for a ∫um of finite values and the corresponding Latin lower-case-script ∫ for a summation of infinite∫imals. I∫n’y that fa∫cinating?

      1. Agemegos

        Damn’ typo!

  59. Ryek Hvek

    Fizzbin

    1. Amazi-Stool

      Sear me, oh puny human?

  60. Deanatay

    Here’s a question – how did she get out of her room (where she was studying) and into the hallway without running into stalker-Joyce and her box of spoons?

    (Side note: In my social group, ‘spoons’ has a special meaning, a metaphor for ‘mental energy’ or ‘ability to cope with shit’. To be ‘out of spoons’ is to be unable to cope, to need time to rest/recharge. In this regard, the idea of Dotty having no spoon, and Joyce having a box of them, just seems weird. Anyone else use this metaphor?)

    1. Geoff

      Joyce was waiting in her own room – she was trying to force Dorothy to come visit to pick up a spoon.

    2. Inahc

      yes, lots of people use that metaphor 🙂 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

    3. No Name

      I’ve seen it used in this very forum, so I doubt Willis didn’t intend the metaphor. Though to be honest, I didn’t even think of that until you pointed it out.

  61. Deanatay

    Also, I’m surprised nobody suggested ‘flush’. It means ‘to clean by pouring water on or through something’. It’s often used in regards to toilets, sure, but it’s also applied to eyes and mouth, and can refer to anything.

    1. Lingo

      I said flush!

  62. Just for kix

    Fusillade doesn’t mean shower at least not the shower that Dorothy here is talking about. Fusillade is like “fusillade of bullets” or “shower of bullets”, that’s where the synonym comes from :-/

  63. Remmington Steele

    The Beatles, “A Day In The Life”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usNsCeOV4GM

    is on the uber muzak …

    1. Remmington Steele

      The scene at the beginning of the song

      I saw the photograph
      He blew his mind out in a car
      He didn’t notice that the lights had changed

      bears a passing resemblance to a scene at the start of The I.P.C.R.E.S.S. File (which is derived from a French film). Lennon says the lines are derived from Tara Browne’s suicide, but the introduction of traffic lights into the scene suggests a mixture of the two going on.

  64. LS

    fluid-dynamic freshening

  65. Nelly Dreadful

    While honestly not necessary or even advisable in Dorothy’s situation, since she DOES have time and desperately needs the mental space of a proper shower, IN A PINCH, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, deoderant, and optionally a “fresh” scented lotion can together substitute for full sluicing down as a temporary measure. It’s sort of an emergency portable shower. Well, sponge bath. When I had a hot sweaty day job I carried those and a change of shirt with me in case I couldn’t go straight home for a proper wash at the end of my shift.

    1. Just for kix

      Hats off to your resourcefulness!

  66. David DeLaney

    Fungicide?

    –Dave, nobody else’s mind went there at ALL? I am disappoint.

    1. Andrew_C

      Funkicide

  67. Jeremy

    Freshen up, Hon. You deserve it. Your sanity deserves it.

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