247

Praises
Posted on October 25, 2017 by David M Willis

247 thoughts on “Praises”

  1. BBCC

    Well said, Joyce.

    1. butting

      “She walloped a would-be rapist with a bat” isn’t something you just blurt out over lunch.

      Unless you’re Becky.

      They shoulda gone for pizza.

      1. Shiro

        Am I remembering correctly that one of Jake’s pluses for Joyce was “she totally punched a kidnapper in the face”? So y’never know, he might be impressed!

        1. Doctor_Who

          Sarah’s prowess with a bat not only prevented a rape, it made her the team leader in RBIs.

        2. Pablo360

          I don’t know what RBIs stands for so I’m going to assume it’s short for Nihilist Arby’s, which makes far more sense than it should.

        3. Yumi

          I assume in this case it’s “Rapists Bashed In.”

          *Note that I do know what RBIs usually stands for.

        4. Reltzik

          I thought it was “Ryans Beaten Incoherent”.

        5. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          In case you were curious what RBI actually stands for, I believe it’s Runs Batted In. It’s a baseball term, which is fitting given the baseball bat. I may have overexplained a little there, but better safe than sorry.

        6. segnosaur

          Yes, RBI stands for Runs Batted In.

          For example, if you already have a runner on 2nd and 3rd base, and your team gets a hit, and the people on 2nd and 3rd manage to make it to home, then the batter is given 2 RBIs (i.e. 2 players that managed to score thanks to his hitting.)

          The purpose of the statistic is to highlight witch players can hit the ball either very far or who can better target a location to hit the ball to (which can allow more players to score on a play). If a player has a low number of RBIs, they either can’t hit the ball at all, or when they do it it it doesn’t go far (so the players can’t always advance to home.)

          Although personally I prefer the term ‘Ryans Bashed In’.

        7. Makkabee

          Also particularly fast players and players with better than average ability to aim a hit ball where they want are usually put in a spot in the line-up where they’re likely to hit first, so that there will be men on base when the power hitters segnosaur talks about get their turn it’s more likely that they will have base-runners they can help score.

        8. Inahc

          thanks 🙂

        9. Pablo360

          Seriously though, there are <abbr> and <acronym> tags for a reason. And I don’t know why there are two of them because at least in this setup they basically serve the same purpose.

        10. Gwen

          You could also just use google if you’re curious (hint: it’s a sportsball stat)

        11. A Scientist

          In my opinion, an overrated sportsball stat, and on that point I care deeply.

        12. Pl0x

          I searched it and got the Reserve Bank of India. So, eh.

        13. JohnF

          abbrev. is an abbreviation. TLA is a Three Letter Acronym.

        14. Lieutenant Dan

          TLA is an abbreviation, not an acronym. /pedant

        15. 3-I

          That depends on how you pronounce it, surely.

        16. Pablo360

          Specifically it’s an initialism. Acronyms are abbreviations.

        17. Reltzik

          So what would something like the GNU operating system be? (Stands for “GNU’s Not Unix”, pronounced like the wildebeest). I feel infinite recursion needs its own category.

        18. Pablo360

          Recursive acronyms are acronyms.

        19. Jhon

          All the way down.

        20. Inahc

          They’re still a pain on mobile, though; my rss reader can’t show them, so I have to load a full browser with a special plugin to make them clickable. And this site is pretty hard on browsers, too.

        21. Needfuldoer

          Ey, is somebody keepin’ track of my heads batted in?”
          – Scout

  2. Doctor_Who

    Joyce: “♪♫ Like a rock, Sarah’s strong as she could be… ♫♪”

    Jacob: “Huh, didn’t think your parents let you listen to secular rock music.”

    Joyce: “…That’s not just a truck jingle?”

    1. shadowcell

      cut to gratuitous slow-motion shot of Sarah splashing through a muddy lake

      1. CandidCanid

        I just imagine Sarah angrily rampaging through a muddy dirt road leaving behind ruts that multiple pickup trucks could easily fall into

      2. Jay Eff

        [lemongrab]ONE THOUSAND UPVOTES!!![/lemongrab]

      3. Mr. Bulbmin

        That amused me far more than it should have. Your Point count has been increased by 17!

      4. Needfuldoer

        Then to a shot of her barely catching something heavy, then cut to something else as she starts fumbling it. (10 seconds in.)

      5. Dean

        Cut to a shot of Sarah easily towing a laden trailer along a dirt road, her tyres splashing through puddles. Then to a family sitting on a hilltop overlooking the ocean, their backs resting comfortably against Sarah.

        1. Inahc

          It’s Ultra-Sarah! 🙂

        2. Mortartarsaus

          Maybe add in a scene of Sarah hauling lumber in a snowstorm through slush puddles since they are in NoDa.

        3. Deanatay

          I could easily see GMC naming it’s next truck the ‘Sarah’.

          “GMC Sarah. When the job needs to be done RIGHT.”

      6. RacingTurtle

        I laughed hard and I wanted you to know that. Thanks for the hearty chuckle, Doctor_Who and shadowcell.

      7. Remmington Steele

        “Breaker 1-9, we got us a convoy …”

        1. Khyrin

          I understood that reference.

          A tape of C.W. McCall’s greatest hits was my favorite tape 6-12. then it went into rotation with two John Denver tapes until last year when we replaced the last car we owned with a tape-deck. I should transcribe those to MP3 or FLAC….

    2. Ghostforge

      comments like these make me wish we had an upvote function here 🙂

      1. Pablo360

        Yeah, like maybe D—

        <japanese>The death of Big Pablo has been sponsored by the Willis Organization</japanese>

    3. hof1991

      For our younger and overseas friends – Bob Seger sings a truck commercial (and a hit single) from 20 years ago.
      https://youtu.be/IocCC1-jeTY

      1. ValdVin

        Slight nitpick: That was thirty years ago.

        (Wow. Now I feel not-so-young, being an adult when it was new.)

  3. ValdVin

    The irises don’t lie, Joyce.

  4. AnvilPro

    We’ve all had that moment where part 1 of our imaginary conversation actually works, and then we have to face the consequences of not having a part 2

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get this far.”

      1. Pablo360

        “Okay, so that’s part 1 out of the way.”

        “What’s part 2?”

        “There’s a part 2? Usually this is the part where I realize I’m naked in front of all my old classmates and am also late for the exam for a class I never took. And also my teeth are falling out.”

        1. Makkabee

          You have the teeth falling out dream too?

        2. Pablo360

          Of course not. If it did, that would mean I have stage 4 dream disease, where your dreams begin replacing your original personality bit by bit until there’s nothing of the old you left, disguising it from the host by convincing them that it’s a natural part of aging.

        3. Inahc

          that dream is so common there’s an xkcd for it. https://xkcd.com/719/ (it’s in the alt text)

    2. Yumi

      I usually have a part 2, but I often mess it up by jumping to the part 2 without first going through the part 1.
      I’m real bad at flirting.

      1. Doctor_Who

        “I see your dress coming off at midnight.”

        “…Excuse me?”

        “Shit! I meant to ask if you were Cinderella first, and hope you answered ‘Why?’. Can we start over?”

        1. Yumi

          “When you fell from heaven.”
          “What?”
          “…Fuck, sorry, last time.”

        2. Pablo360

          “Can I borrow your phone?”

          “Sure, need to make a call?”

          “…shit, I messed it up”

        3. ValdVin

          “So I could lie tangential to your curves!”

          “Huh?”

          “Oops…Let me come in again.”

        4. Pablo360

          “Are you the only ten I see?”

          “This is getting annoying.”

          “Nonono, trust me, I got this.”

        5. Woobie

          ???
          Profit!

        6. Kamino Neko

          I don’t know the setup to this one…please expand.

        7. Clif

          Which one?

        8. ValdVin

          I think Kamino was asking about the one ending

          “Can I borrow your phone?”

          (which I don’t know either)

        9. Random832

          I googled it, looks like it’s meant to be “Can I borrow your phone number” – so not exactly a missed setup line.

    3. Jamie

      “I’m like a dog chasing cars”?

  5. Cattleprod

    Air conditioning is a standard feature.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Cup holders too. And a drivetrain warranty.

      1. Tacos

        And ABS-assisted brakes too.

  6. Madock345

    “She’s built like a pickup truck” could totally pass as a song lyric.

    1. ValdVin

      I think Sven at QC already has that in his BMI credits.

    2. desolation0

      “Thong Song” had nearly exactly that.

      She had dumps like a truck truck truck
      Thighs like what what what
      All night long
      Let me see that thong

      1. Pablo360

        I don’t think that’s quite what Joyce had in mind.

        Consciously, at any rate.

      2. Ravenstromdans

        That’s what I thought of IMMEDIATELY.

      3. Paradox

        You get it. You understand the true joy of that song being given relevance. Let us dance through the night to this classic!

      4. Kamino Neko

        … She has…what? What kind of song is this? That’s not what they mean by scat singing!!!

  7. Shiro

    Accustomed to loving everyone unconditionally, Joyce is unpracticed in convincing others of that love.

  8. Yumi

    Man, Joyce, did you not think it would get this far or something?

    1. Shiro

      She was expecting him to go “Yes, absolutely! She is wonderful! I will now go join with her in holy matrimony and product eight to ten beautiful Christian babies!” Because Joyce-vision is like Pyro-vision from TF2, but with more praising Jesus.

    2. Reltzik

      Joyce believes in magical predestined OTP love, not love based on mutual interests or suitably complimentary qualities.

  9. Pablo360

    She’s not wrong

  10. Mr D

    …Is joyce talking about Sarah’s rack? (Body language)

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

      I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples….

      (Let’s face it pretty much all of the Song of Solomon is NSFW. My favorite translation-induced double entendre: “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.”)

      1. Keulen

        Song of Solomon is pretty much Bible porn.

        1. Reltzik

          It’s a pleasant break from the gorn.

        2. Pablo360

          Speaking of bible porn, did you know that the man who would become Pope Pius II wrote some pretty popular 15th-century literotica?

        3. merbrat

          Not that surprising, since there is a secret room in the vatican for inspiration!

      2. ValdVin

        I never heard of it but now I gotta read it.

        All I can offer you in return is Song of India, if you like Rimsky-Korsakov and Tommy Dorsey.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Only if Sarah has really strange boobs – the gesture is supposed to be palms toward your own chest.

    3. 3-I

      “Sturdy Breasts” is both an unusual compliment and a good band name.

  11. m-m

    Worst. Wingman. Ever. (Wing-person? Wing-folk? Wing? Winger?)

    1. Yumi

      And Abed hired and Irish singer~

    2. Pablo360

      Which may make her more likely to do what Sarah actually wants her to do. She’s like Elan that way.

  12. Rambling Idiot

    abedeyebrowwiggle.gif

  13. Passchendaele

    *instinctively cringes on hearing the word “truck”*

    1. JessWitt

      Would you prefer “lorry”?

      1. Passchendaele

        “pickup lorry” just doesn’t have the same strength, sadly. :p

        1. JessWitt

          There has to be a British expression for “pickup”.

        2. Achallenger

          I prefer ute, it’s the Aussie way

        3. Pablo360

          I prefer “way too h*cking big”

        4. Passchendaele

          Compromise: way too h*cking big ute

        5. Needfuldoer

          I thought “truck” was fine for light pickups like the Hilux, “lorry” is for HGVs and semis, and “utes” are basically station wagons with truck beds (Ford Falcon, Chevrolet El Camino, Subaru BRAT)?

          Disclaimer: I learned pretty much everything I know about non-USDM cars from Jeremy Clarkson and Edd China.

        6. Bicycle Bill

          If you can license it as a car (SUVs, minivans, conversion vans) or it’s something like a ‘crew cab’ pickup but you never carry anything except people, then it’s not a real truck — no matter what it may say on the title.

        7. Merbrat

          Cab with a trailer is an “articulated lorry”.

    2. Remmington Steele

      At least she’s not a flat-bed semi …

      1. bucket

        “It’s a girl my Lord in a flat bed Ford…”

  14. Some Random Name

    She didn’t plan for this.

    1. Remmington Steele

      NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

      1. Abel Undercity

        Our weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear! Our two weapons! Surprise, fear, and separating our food into little piles. Three. Our three weapons.

        … We’ll do it again.

  15. Nono

    I mean, she’ll defend you with a bat, hide potentially triggering pieces of clothing, get your best friend’s evil dad’s car towed, wake you up on Sunday so you won’t miss church, dress you, and help spray your best friend and her loser boyfriend out of your bed before they make with the sex.

    That’s a pretty good portfolio.

    1. Shiro

      “She’s loyal and protective (once you convince her that you’re friends anyway), resourceful, helpful, and she’s always got your back when you need her”

      There, I translated it!

      1. StClair

        Joyce is trying to sell her as good girlfriend material, not one of the Elements of Harmony.

        1. CoMa

          Yeah, put simply describing Sarah’s positive traits from her point of view may at least give Jacob something to think about. He wants to know why Joyce thinks so highly of Sarah, so an answer like this wouldn’t be horrible.

        2. Inahc

          Harmony makes for good relationships.

        3. Shiro

          Dammit, now I can’t not read my own comment in Twilight Sparkle’s voice

  16. Irredentist

    Tell him about the time she saved your life. That would probably work.

    1. Pablo360

      But that doesn’t fit into the fundamentalist idea of romance, so she can’t bring that up!

      1. thejeff

        And besides, that would mean talking about her near rape and she’s not going to do that lightly.

  17. Yumi

    “Sturdy” kind of is a good descriptor for some of what Joyce gets from Sarah. Her elaboration wasn’t exactly helpful, and she’s probably not playing to her audience but…Sarah is kind of sturdy.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      When does she start to talk about things like ‘child-bearing hips’?

      1. thejeff

        In pretty much any culture before modern medicine and effective contraception, “less chance of dying in childbirth” is a pretty important factor.

  18. ValdVin

    Joyce isn’t gonna tell him about Sarah and Old Testament*? It is compelling to save someone who’s been drugged from being raped. Or is that too raw a thing for Joyce to talk about, which I’d completely understand.

    (*That is the name of the baseball bat, isn’t it?)

    1. Pablo360

      It’s also too specific and meaningful to fit Joyce’s fundie preconceptions about luuuuuuuv.

  19. Blender

    She’s perfect if you need to barricade your front door.

  20. Well_Played

    Swing and a miss

  21. Pablo360

    TIL the archive link from the previous comment doesn’t start working as soon as a new comic is posted.

    I really should have intuited that (I’m a comp sci major, I should understand how computers work on a basic level) but I never quite put it together.

  22. Keulen

    Sarah’s pretty good with a baseball bat, as long as her target is a rapist asshole.

    1. Pablo360

      No data exists on her skill at actual baseball.

      1. adjudicus

        *Sarah swings the bat*
        “Strike one!”
        *Sarah swings it again*
        “Strike two!”
        *Joyce calling from the bleachers* “Sarah, imagine that ball is Ryan’s face!”
        *KAPOW*

        1. StClair

          And now the air is shattered by the force of Sarah’s blow…

        2. ValdVin

          Okay, that’s…just too good for this world.

        3. DSL

          … Mighty Sarah has struck out.

        4. Pablo360

          That is probably how Willis would write it.

  23. Conuly

    Sarah is loyal, even to people who annoy her. She tries hard to be a better person than she is. She does the things she thinks is right, even though it doesn’t make her happy.

    Also, she saved me from being raped, and helped me afterwards.

    There. Was that so hard?

    1. Pablo360

      If Joyce admits to herself that those are qualities Jacob would find romantically appealing, she would be admitting to herself that he might find her romantically appealing.

  24. some guy

    Sarah: The reliable truck brand, tough it out with Sarah

  25. Beef

    Oh no. Is this going to end with Joyce finding out about the Joyce stories?

    1. Pablo360

      …shit, I hadn’t thought of that

    2. CoMa

      Joyce stories?

      1. Benjamin

        Sarah wasn’t very good at having conversations with Jacob originally – unless she was telling a story about Joyce. This comic highlights that.

        1. CoMa

          Ah, I remember! Thanks for the link too, helped a lot to sort through my memory 🙂

    3. Jason

      I doubt it? So far Jacob seems to have tact and delicacy- or at the very least a good head on his shoulders. He’s been known to talk about stuff that wasn’t his place before (once), but just look at how he handled that- he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be all “oh yeah she totally shit-talks you behind your back”.
      Maybe casually mentioning that Sarah’s talked about her, and then being careful how he follows it up if/when Joyce gets curious.

  26. Lapin

    Not sure “She once beat the hell out of my almost-rapist with a baseball bat before bruising his ribs under her shoe” is a point Joyce is willing to sell, much less one Jacob is willing to buy.

    1. Pablo360

      Jacob’s favorite thing about Joyce is the time she punched Toedad. He would buy that hook, line, and mixed metaphor.

      1. Bagge

        AND she towed ToeDad’s car to save Becky.

        1. Gwen

          (And to cause Maggie to rename him “tow dad,” triggering a second Willis wedding)

  27. Achallenger

    “she’ll always go to bat for a friend?”

    1. Pablo360

      Sure, she can be batty, but she’ll always swing your way.

  28. JessWitt

    I’m surprised Joyce is blanking out on Sarah’s heroism from the party. But then again, she would prefer not to remember that night.

    1. Lingo

      She may actually not remember much of it herself.

      1. JessWitt

        That too.

        1. Jason

          She knows what happened, though. But as others have noted, given the trauma involved, she’s not going to immediately talk about it as soon as it’s vaguely relevant. She’s probably going to avoid talking about it even when it’s extremely relevant. (Which is fine by the way, as long as it’s not lifelong avoidance there’s nothing wrong with her healing in her own time.)

  29. Vi

    I mean, even if Joyce isn’t talking specifically about Sarah’s party heroics, Sarah has been a good friend to her in a few ways, despite her pessimism and general issues. Like, Sarah isn’t a perfect person by any means, but she really does seem to care about Joyce.

  30. Steve C

    Not sure if this means Sarah et. al.’s True Plan isn’t working at all or working better than hoped. (I’m leaning towards B.)

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      But what if Jacob says, “Speak for yourself, Joyce Brown.”?

    2. Jamie

      That’s also what I came to say.

      I feel like the next strip is going to be Jacob going, “Wow. Sarah has no redeeming qualities and you’re still terribly happy about her as a roommate? You’re kinda special.”

  31. PlainMarie

    Hey! I was trying to go to sleep over here and I am now being severely distracted by way too many giggles from this one. Sincerely LOLing.

  32. Reltzik

    In response to something like a third of the commentators, NO, Joyce isn’t going to make the connection that Jacob might have the hots for Sarah if he heard about her justified assault and bat-tery.

    For Joyce to make that connection based on the hints that Jacob’s dropped about how much he admires Joyce, Joyce would FIRST have to realize that he’s got the hots for Joyce.

    And that ain’t happening.

    1. Pablo360

      Not to mention it doesn’t fit the fundie romantic narrative that Joyce is still heavily invested in.

      1. Fart Captor

        Heroic rescues are very romantic. I’m pretty sure that even though traditionally it’s “supposed” to be the guy that’s being heroic, Joyce has grown enough that she’d still see that, especially since she’s not shopping for herself here.

        If it occurred to her, then it’s more likely she isn’t mentioning it because she doesn’t want to talk about that particular act of heroism because it might lead to questions about the event she was being rescued from.

        What I think is most likely is that too much of her brain is occupied thinking about Jacob’s arms to think quickly

        1. Pablo360

          Oh, I’m not saying heroic rescues aren’t romantic. I’m just saying they aren’t the kind of romance Joyce was raised to believe in. She’s still interested in something a bit more prosaic and cotidiano.

  33. Inahc

    people keep mentioning trucks, but my first thought was the MASH episode where Major Houlihan is called ‘sturdy’.

    1. Inahc

      …well, I’m not confused about the truck thing any more. somehow I forgot the last panel existed.

    2. Needfuldoer

      What about Sidney Freedman’s voiceover description of her in Dear Sigmund?

      1. Inahc

        I don’t remember that one… :/ and I don’t know where I could get it now… omg! archive.org seems to have it! 😀

        1. Inahc

          …nevvermind, it’s dubbed in… like… russian or something? :/

        2. Needfuldoer

          I’d have to dig the DVD up, but it’s something like “calm and collected on the surface, but underneath there’s seven kinds of passion searching for an outlet”. Then he’s interviewing her in The Swamp about how she stays calm and never gets upset, to which she replies that she’s got to be strong for the sake of the nurses under her command. Then she starts berating him for “parading” an athletic supporter around in front of her, even though it was lying on a cot across the tent and wasn’t even his, and he probably didn’t even notice it until then. She gets even angrier, because “those lecherous, drunken cretins” must have left it there, and finally screams at him to put his hat on it. He does, then she’s back to being outwardly calm and collected again, like a switch was flipped.

          I see some of that “‘I’m not upset’, she seethed” behavior in Sarah.

        3. Inahc

          haha, kinda reminds me of Sapphire and Garnet. 🙂 although the way they show that stuff in mash has a lot of sexist undertones. (I do like how much the show improved over time wrt, though)

          also reminds me of when Houlihan’s talking to some not-quite-boyfriend who keeps pushing her to be more wife-y, and she talks about how there’s essentially three people inside her (the woman, the nurse and the major iirc).

        4. Needfuldoer

          It’s out there in English, but it’s also the episode where Klinger only speaks in Arabic as a discharge ploy. Season 5 Episode 8, about 13:15 in.

        5. Inahc

          apparently there’s a way to get the english audio if you download the right version of the episode and fiddle with it, but, that sounds like more effort than I want to put in today. (and I’d rather do such things in linux)

    3. Deanatay

      Love this thread, if only for the prevalence of Dina gravs.

  34. Tacos

    Is Joyce gonna continue describing Sarah like different vehicles?

    1. Pablo360

      They’re good vehicles Tostadas

  35. @zombieundergrnd

    I’m already in a relationship, but yeah, go ahead and sell me on this other girl.
    And hey, while we’re on the subject, what are you doing next Saturday night?

    1. Carms

      cos that’s THE ONLY interpersonal relationship stright men and women can have.
      And Bi/pan ppl don’t have friends at all- only prey.

      Look that comment reveals more than I need to know about you. More than anyone outside of your meatspace need to kow aobut you.
      your meatspace ppl, however, definitely need to know that about you. “this one, if they’re trying to be friends with you, they want sex”

      1. Inahc

        Uh, I think you might be making some assumptions there?

        1. Jason

          People can react strongly to BS that they see (or experience) regularly, and the assumption that people can’t be friends with the gender they’re attracted to is a common one. Since it seems like that was what zombie was getting at I don’t blame Carms for their reaction.

        2. bleepbloop

          I agree with Inahc. I took what zombie was saying to mean “sure, sell me on this other girl (which is exactly what Jacob said) while I’d rather know more about you (in a romantic context, yeah, but lbr thats kinda where this thing between joyce and jacob is heading towards, even if feelings on jacob’s part might not be as requited)”. I don’t think zombie was implying Jacob only sees women (in this case Sarah or Joyce) as potential sex partners. I think for Carms to admit to assuming so much about zombie from a joke about Jacob liking Joyce (of which there are a lot in these comments sections) is a little extra, but I can see where that reaction would come from, especially since it is such a common (and annoying) misconception.

  36. Jason

    I really hope we see some unexpected honesty and vulnerability from Joyce, giving Jacob better insight into the characters of both her and Sarah. But we will see!

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Tomorrow’s preview panel shows an awkward-looking Joyce, so I’m looking forward to it.

      1. Jason

        I think awkwardness was pretty high on the likelyometre! But I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it too, I like this arc.

      2. BenRG

        Prediction: Jacob rains compliments on Joyce, leaving her lost for words.

  37. Bagge

    That’s the international gesture for “sturdy”

    1. Clif

      I thought it was the international gesture for vast tracks of land.

      1. Roborat

        Just as long as there is no singing.

      2. PlainMarie

        A+

  38. Arianod

    I’m gonna go and guess that “stands firm in harsh winds” is another fundamentalist prayer thing.

    1. Briny

      Googling the phrase only gives me this very comic. (INCEPTION NOISE.)

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I don’t know for sure, but Willis is pretty good at coming up with original dialog that sounds like it came straight out of the Old Testament. Remember “I choose to wear the tattered flesh of my vanquished enemies”?

      1. Arianod

        Actually, that one sounded more like a Khorne worshipper than a fundamentalist christian.

    3. 3-I

      “Doesn’t Fall Over When Farted On” didn’t play well with the fundamentalist church.

  39. Victor Riley

    “She got them good birthin’ hips… and, uh… she likes you… so perfect match, right?”

    1. 3-I

      “Plus she already named her premarital solo marital aid after you.”

    2. Shadow Eagle

      HAHAHAHAH birthing hips…..

      1. Pablo360

        I honestly can’t decide whether or not fundie culture would unironically use the term “birthing hips” as a selling point. It’s sufficiently superficial, but it’s also a little on the evolution-y side.

        1. Tan

          Intelligently-designed birthing hips, of course. It shows she has God’s favor.

        2. Pablo360

          …oh god that does sound like something they’d say.

  40. insomniac

    Like a pickup truck, Joyce?

    Or a brick?

    house?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Never understood how being built like a brick shithouse can be considered an attractive feature.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        You can hide behind such a person while a hurricane is throwing things around and you’ll be perfectly safe.

      2. 3-I

        Well, I mean, they’re… mighty mighty.

      3. McBogue

        I believe the original term was “stacked like a brick house”, but has suffered from some linguistic drift over the years.

        Kind of like how the adage “the proof of the pudding is in the tasting” morphed into the rather nonsensical “the proof is in the pudding”.

        1. Bill M.

          Well, “The proof is in the pudding” did get some drift from when the British would soak their figgy pudding in alcohol. Alcohol strength is rated by proof (for example 17% alcohol by volume becomes 34 proof), so literally the proof was in the pudding, but you could only test the proof of the pudding by tasting it.

        2. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

          Or trying to set it on fire

  41. BenRG

    “Study” is a good word for Sarah and it is especially true on the emotional and mental level. For all her weaknesses (that are manifold), you can always rely on Sarah to be there and to have your back. She has a strength of will that many lack.

  42. Carms

    She’s pricklier than a porcupine but she always has my back. even when her caution is caustic. and she acts out her back-having, she follows through, And her follow throughs are BRUTAL.

  43. RacingTurtle

    oh dear

  44. Wright

    In my head canon, there is a version of Sarah in an alternate universe who hit ol’ Gashface not with a bat, but with a pickup truck.

    … indoors.

    Yeah, in this alternate dimension Willis started kicking up the action long before Toedad’s appearance.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      See, a character with the power to fit cars into any space would be an amazing addition to a superhero story.

      Because of course they’d be the last resort the Good Guys use, and they would all be really vague about what the character’s power is. Then things get bad enough, the heroes are cornered by the villains, when suddenly

      CAR

      1. thejeff

        Ultra Car can’t fit through the stock room doors, but Spider-Car can.

      2. Jason

        That made me chuckle!

      3. StClair

        I’ve recently begun using “suddenly, BEAR” in a similar context. 🙂

      4. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

        So… like a reverse clown?

    2. 3-I

      In some universe, Sarah was Ultra Car.

  45. Eldritch Gentleman

    [gets a mental of loin-cloth wearing barbarian Sarah standing upon the hill made of her beaten enemies, holding her bat like a sword with equally dishevelled Jacob clinging to her leg]
    Yey

    1. Zaxares

      “Sarah! What is best in life?!”

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        To crush Raidah, Drive her before me And hear Jacob’s aroused gasps!”

  46. acher4

    Omg!
    I rofled so hard on the last line. :DDDDD

  47. darkoneko

    Last panel : *honk honk*

  48. Remmington Steele

    That was mean, Jake. Asking her straight out like that.

    1. Bagge

      He does have a tendency to put people on the spot sometimes. I get the vibe of someone who has seen to much drama and makes a conscious effort to avoid it.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/effort-2/

      1. hof1991

        He’s going to be a good cross examiner.

      2. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        He’s very direct. And charismatic, so his directness comes off as candor, but it can put you on the spot, especially if you don’t have great self-esteem. He does try to make sure you’re comfortable, as we saw in the previous strip, so I think he’s somewhat aware that he can have this effect on people.

    2. Emily

      Seriously, Joyce is doing markedly better than I would in this kind of situation. If someone asks me point blank to talk about something I promptly forget everything I know about the subject.

      1. Inahc

        me too.

  49. Liliet

    Ahahah Joyce did not think this through before starting.

    But yeah, that’s a good start. Sarah is reliable, that’s a wonderful thing about her.

    1. Pablo360

      Sarah is built Ford tough.

  50. Tarnish

    She’s a bongo, Joyce, though of course you can’t say it. Once you realize someone can be a bongo and still be a good person, you might say it, though.

  51. FacelessDeviant

    Is this a “junk in the trunk” thing?

  52. Vulcanodon

    She can’t exactly bring up the Old Testament God, but Sarah was there for her when she really needed someone http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/oldtestament/

    1. Vulcanodon

      …or Big Sister http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/sisters-2/

  53. foducool

    wingman of the year lmao
    (or is it wingwoman in that case?)

    1. Pablo360

      I believe the gender-neutral term is “pegasus”.

      1. Shariku

        I am happy to be a WingPegasus.

  54. Ryek Hvek

    “She’s Batman.”

    1. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

      That was never proven.

  55. Guest42

    She’s straightforward, honest, and does genuinely care about people to a point it makes her cagey and afraid to get hurt. Also quite intelligent.

    This isn’t hard, Joyce.

    1. bleepbloop

      Thank you. I’m tired of people acting like Sarah is just this constantly grumpy awful grouch with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

      1. thejeff

        Exactly. She’s a constantly grumpy awful grouch with many redeeming qualities.

    2. Inahc

      uh, yes it *is* hard. 😛

  56. prime_pm

    “You can fit four.”

  57. Rodimiss

    “She beat up a would-be rapist with a baseball bat” would be my go-to, but I can understand why Joyce doesn’t want to talk about that. Sarah’s cool.

  58. Gravatarnator

    haha. That moment when you have to name your friends good points to their crush, but all you can think of is the less than flattering things. We’ve all been there…

  59. CJ

    Considering Sarah and Jacob bonded over Joyce’s idiosyncrasies and Sarah didn’t know anything else to talk about with him and that’s basicly why Sarah encouraged him to stop talking to her, that’s a loaded question.

    What does she think about this roommate of hers who laughed about her behind her back? Jacob doesn’t know about bat-swinging Sarah to the rescue.
    So Joyce promoting her good qualities must seem strange to him.
    And naturally her opening lead from the frying pan right into the fire.

  60. Axel

    Me trying to compliment my friends, who I love, without just saying “you’re cool”

  61. Proto

    Her love for you is like a truck BERSERKER

    1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      Is that a song?

      *fails to get reference because he lives under a rock*

  62. PapayaPunkPixie

    My love for you is like a truck…. beserker

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Joyce summoning Sarah the Berserker who can transform into CarSarah?

  63. Smooti

    I can’t tell if Jacob’s eyes are slowly getting bigger, or if Joyce having dot eyes in this comic are making his dot eyes seem big by comparison.

  64. Solenoid

    Joyce in this strip is reminding me a lot of Girls With Slingshots

  65. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

    She’s nice. Well… maybe “nice” isn’t the right word. She’s very protective!

  66. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    Please stop helping, Joyce. Just… stop.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.