166

Kinkier
Posted on October 23, 2024 by David M Willis

166 thoughts on “Kinkier”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “You’ve listed… crunt-knockling, self-saucing, combat ejaculation, nipplotism, and… flang? Do you REALLY want to do flang?”

    “I don’t even know what it IS!”

    “That’s sort of my point!”

    1. Sirksome

      Just breaking down the word I assume “flang” is a combination of the words “flaying” and “wang”. Naturally extrapolating that to mean flaying a wang, which I gotta admit is pretty kinky. Whatever Joyce is into I guess.

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        On the other hand, santorum doesn’t tell us what it is because of the structure of the word, but rather by who it’s named after. Richard Santorum is a giant asshole named Dick. As a result, he motivated others to create a definition which relects that. Fittingly, the winner is (paraphrased), “the frothy mixture that remains after a dick plays in an asshole.”

        It has little to do with the composition of the word though. Just an opportunistic counter example.

        1. Azu

          Sorry, that definitely happened in that order? I’d thought it was just a coincedence that provided an easy way to disparage the guy

        2. Annamal

          Oh yes it was absolutely in that order. I remember Dan Savage setting it up due to some really awful stuff Santorum said. It was amazing.

        3. Inahc

          same.

    2. AlexanderHammil

      i do appreciate a good oglaf reference

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        Don’t we all? Imagine how beautiful life would be if we could all come together because of Oglaf.

        Actually no. We can’t handle a Noah-scale flood of sexual release.

        1. Mark

          Sir Arthur C. Clarke wrote an amusing short-short on that theme, but I can’t recall the title.

          I was also reminded of an unusual statistic from Stanisław Lem’s One Human Minute.

    3. Proxiehunter

      At least she didn’t list fetch. That’s never going to happen.

      1. Laura

        LOL! Stop trying to make fetch happen!

      2. Just_IDD

        It isn’t fetch…its feLtch. If you are going disgusting practices given a name, at a minimum you should at least be able to spell them correctly.

        1. sarda

          https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/stop-trying-to-make-fetch-happen

    4. AbacusWizard

      CaptainAmericaUnderstoodThatReferenceButDoesntWantToAdmitIt.gif

    5. Michael Steamweed

      Yay! for Oglaf!

    6. Roborat

      I knew those sounded like Oglafisms. I really found the combat ejaculation funny.

    7. Felian

      you made me google “combat ejaculation” and are now responsible for what it’s gonna do to my algorithm

      1. Ana Chronistic

        You’re responsible for your OWN algorithm!

  2. Doctor_Who

    The Good News: Dorothy decides to take this assignment very seriously, and come up with a scientific method to determine where Joyce’s interests lay with pinpoint accuracy. She enlists the aid of Carla, whose technical brilliance (and complete lack of interest in sex herself, so she won’t judge or gossip) allow her to use AI and put together a full profile accurate to within 30 milliKinks.

    The Bad News: Carla uses Ruttech servers to gather her data, and because every tech company is spying on everything you do online, it discovers Joyce’s tastes when it comes to Amber’s fanfics and incorporates them into the dataset.

    Joe’s in for a few surprises.

    1. Ray Radlein

      All subsequent AIs have Joyce’s sexual preferences hard-wired into them

      1. Doctor_Who

        SkyNet takes over the world, draws ding-dongs on everything.

        1. mindbleach

          My god, it’s already started.

        2. Council

          Skynut*

          thanks to Thor

        3. Michael Steamweed

          The first Tongueinator-800s are mass produced in 2025 and begin infiltrating college dorms everywhere, beginning with American’s interior states like Indiana.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Is that such a bad thing to happen?

        1. Jeremiah

          It depends on your opinion on big men you can climb like a tree.

  3. Mr. Random

    Ah yes, the old “I deep dived into the Internet before experiencing a relationship so I’m somehow WAY kinkier and ALSO more repressed than everyone around me.”

    1. Davus

      Same (Well, I assume I’m kinkier), except I grew up in a Progressive household, so what’s my excuse?

      1. Kimi

        What household you grew up in doesn’t always account for your knowledge or level of repression. I had an older sister who didn’t know that penetration happened until her friends forced the information on her late in high school. I have no idea how she got through all the sex talks with our mom, health and biology classes, reading fantasy and fiction books that contained sex scenes (provided they didn’t tend to be explicit and would use euphemism a lot) all while being a theater/music wing student. My best guess is just purposeful blatant ignorance from either feeling uncomfortable with it or not being interested. Sure left me with an interesting thing to fix when I went to the same high school (we were 3 years apart). Now provided, I was unfamiliar with certain slang like douch, other than it was used as an insult, but it wasn’t as if our household was extremely restrictive on the sex talk either.
        On an unrelated note, perfectly fine with talking about my parents having sex or looking nice, but got super weirded out by a roommate calling my grandpa sexy in college. I noped out of that conversation fast.

    2. Strain of Thought

      It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that no adult had ever actually explained what sex was to me and I had just gathered everything I knew slowly in little pieces from highly questionable sources.

      1. Kimi

        AP biology textbook was fairly detailed about the mechanics of everything. Butt stuff was something I stumbled upon during an interdisciplinary project on HIV/AIDS in my second year in high school (WHO/UN conference/assembly style, and I was assigned as a scientist). I was a bit with Dorothy on not knowing so many parts of the body could be considered applicable crevices or holes after getting in the rabbit hole a bit at that point.

      2. Michael Steamweed

        Most sadly, this is the experience of millions of people of my generation in my country. 🙁

    3. Pylgrim

      Hey! Who gave you the right to call me out in the open like that.

    4. Lilith Rose

      *sigh* I remember those days. Made the sex really good when it finally did happen, though.

  4. Reltzik

    Alt text: Sarah’s stressing right now and she could use the laugh.

  5. Doopyboop

    Dorothy isn’t a half bad artist

    1. Corronchilejano

      That’s a pretty good Shortpacked Amber.

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        More short and stacked. Am I right?.gif

    2. Amós Batista

      Dorothy is able to draw a decent Joyce and a pretty basic drawing of other male. If it isn’t an unrequited thing, my name is not Lawrence

      1. Otl1973

        Or at least Willis is. Whether he intends the reader to draw any inferences about Dorothy and her drawing ability is unknown.

        1. Daibhid C

          Willis can also draw a pretty good Joe (citation: Joe’s appearances in the strip), so the fact it doesn’t look like Dorothy even tried is almost certainly meant to suggest something, if only “Ew, it’s Joe.” (Not necessarily meaning continued judgeyness on her part, based on panel 2 she seems to have reached the point of being amused by the situation. But it wouldn’t be surprising for her to still have an automatic squick factor over actually thinking about it.)

    3. Jeremiah

      Calling it now: By the end of the comic Joyce and Dorothy will publish Julia Grey comics together.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        AND in private and for select clientele only, a very NSFS (not-safe-for-school) version. One in which their kinks shine forth. But kinkiness is a slippery slope, so quickly they get more and more explicit. In their slippery-slope-shiny drawings.

    4. AbacusWizard

      Does Dorothy get to be a guest artist on the next Slipshine?

      1. Michael Steamweed

        I support that! An entire Dorothy episode, simply charting out the Joyce erogenous zones and manipulator appendages cross correlated with the Joe erogenous zones and manipulator appendages. A short version of the Kama Sutra done up by Dorothy.

        1. AbacusWizard

          It’s gonna be like the Dumbing of Age version of The Family Circus by Bil Keane (And Jeffy)

    5. DailyBrad

      That makes sense, given the reason Joyce even began that class was due to Dorothy giving her constructive criticism on her art, the “front butt” conversation.

  6. Joy

    LMAO

  7. Amós Batista

    “You are not prepared!”

    Illidan Stormrage ?? Dorothy

    1. JA

      18 years later and I can still hear his voice.

      1. Kimi

        His voice being used as a raid alert in an addon probably helps cement it in some people’s minds.

      2. Queen Anthai

        20th anniversary events started today- *looks at calendar* -yesterday, so don’t forget to head over to Silithus and pray you have a good GPU.

    2. Loki

      God, I can still hear some of those bosses.

      BASK IN MY RADIANCE

      Still you fight. Still you cling to misguided principles. If you survive, you’ll find me in the center ring.

      I see.. only darkness… for me.

      1. Kimi

        I still have stuff from baldur’s gate get stuck in my head, especially “You must gather your party before venturing forth”.

  8. Opus the Poet

    So, how invested in the process is Joyce? Really?

    1. Jeremiah

      To the extent that it scare her.

      1. Needfuldoer

        That’s not a high bar.

  9. MisterJinKC

    Joyce is absolutely not ready for sexy times to occur.

    1. Queen Anthai

      Thank you for saying it because WOW have I been thinking it.

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Is that sweat on Joyce’s temple in panel 3?

    3. Jerach

      If she gets scared even thinking about describing what parts of a guy she would want to touch that really shows that she’s not emotionally ready. It’s okay to not be ready but it feels like she basically wants to get drunk and use that to push through emotional barriers, which would kind of prove Joe’s fears right.

  10. Nono

    Monica: so there are the 7 basic erogenous zones.

    10 minutes later:

    Monica: 7! 7! 7! 7!7!7! …*holds up seven*

    1. Yumi

      Kathy, running into Monica’s place later: Oh! *hugs her* Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! Yes! Thank you! *leaves the apartment*

      1. NGPZ

        Who is this Monica character? :0

  11. Sirksome

    Damn, Joyce cut off in the middle of the foreplay.

  12. Endplanets

    “I thrust you”
    Wait…

  13. Jeremiah

    You gotta give it to Dorothy, when she has a task, she put everything into it even when it is objectively ridiculous.

    1. Yumi

      Joyce wants to know what she should try “first,” so I think Dorothy could start off with finding the chiller options on the list. I was going to suggest “topless cuddling,” but they’ve literally already done that. Maybe “things done and enjoyed” can be another list.

    2. Laura

      They should team up with Dina! Nothing beats [off like] the scientific method!

  14. Taffy

    “Joyce, I don’t think Joe wants you to grow 50′ tall and hoover up cars with your enormous cock.”

    “I didn’t think so either, but I wanted a second opinion.”

    1. Yumi

      “I don’t think you could do this one because that’s just way too much spaghetti to cook in the dorms.”

      1. Jeremiah

        “And where could you even find all the squirrels needed for this one?!”

        1. Dave the Inverted

          ISTG my immediate response was “wrong webcomic” and yes I’m thinking about EGS here.

        2. Jeremiah

          Hey high five! There should be a doa x egs crossover.

  15. Mollyscribbles

    I feel like if this results in a platonic dom situation, that’s the less weird option.

  16. Derek

    I am incredibly curious as to where Joyce got her list of “technically not sex” acts from, like is it church-influenced or more popular culture definitions?

    Some denominations of Christian churches only count acts that can possibly result in pregnancy as sex, so mostly penis in vagina, penis ejaculates sort of thing. Which makes it very funny because gay people who haven’t bounced around with the opposite sex count as virgins by that definition.

    Other churches count masturbation as a form of sex (if you masturbate, you’re cheating on your future spouse and that’s Bad).

    I wanna see this list that Joyce has.

    1. Taffy

      Cheating on your future spouse? What is this King Crimson bullshit?

      1. Jeremiah

        You are expecting fundamentalist christian moral values &( make logical sense? What are you a communist?

        1. Taffy

          Nah, I’m already well aware their brains aren’t especially functional (though this can be fixed, with work). I’m kinda just curious how the mechanics of that work. It sounds like a Stand power.

      2. Amós Batista

        I like King Crimson, I miss listen them

    2. Jeremiah

      Reminder that Joyce has read Amber’s fanfiction.

      1. Derek

        …did Amber compile a list of “not technically sex” acts? otherwise I don’t get why her fanfiction is relevant in this setting

        1. Jeremiah

          I am saying she took she took all “smexy” acts from Amber fanfiction (and probably a lot of Google searches).

        2. Daibhid C

          Yeah, but the question is, what’s she basing her “these things are Actual Sex, which is Bad for reasons I don’t actually believe any more but am still constrained by because brain, and these things aren’t” on.

          I would guess it’s that anything not specifically mentioned as sex by her church is fine, which naturally includes everything they’ve never even heard of.

        3. Derek

          eh, I doubt it; mostly because I think Amber’s writing covers explicit sex and also because it really seems that Joyce googled “sexy acts that are not going all the way” and printed the first one or two lists without thoroughly reading them because now she’s asking Dorothy what a bunch of these mean. If anything, I feel like Amber would be gratuitous in describing the act.

        4. Chubseus

          Perhaps she copy and pasted every fanfic tag ever and simply deleted the singular “sex” tag.

    3. DashWallkick

      Keep in mind everything in the comic since its inception has indicated that Joyce thinks about these things so, so, *so* often, she just pretends she doesn’t.

      “Amber’s fanfiction” is a good answer but equally likely is she’s spent every day since she turned 13 thinking about ways she could be touched and touch a boy that wasn’t technically sex.

    4. Mark

      Typed “technically not sex” into Google and got 13,279,013 hits.

  17. RassilonTDavros

    Trying to determine how much I should read into Dorothy apparently being able to accurately draw a naked Joyce at a moment’s notice

    1. Taffy

      Dorothy: “Well, if you recall, you yourself emerged from the Lifestream as naked as your nameday. It is a scene I shall never forget-“

      1. Queen Anthai

        How do you do fellow FFXIV player

        1. Taffy

          Leviathan Mist w11 p38. Don’t mind the dust.

  18. Derek

    As usual, Dorothy’s plan seems needlessly convoluted and confusing.

    Knowing the sort of puritan upbringing Joyce had, I am very comfortable assuming the two parts of her body she considers the most sexual are her breasts and her vulva.
    So the question is just: are you comfortable with your partner touching those two places? To what degree of touching?

    There, solved. No need for diagrams.

    1. Yumi

      So she’d definitely be onboard with pegging.

      1. Dday

        Heheh that’s the best possible av for that comment.

    2. AlexanderHammil

      joyce handed her an entire ream of paper’s worth of sex acts and asked her to rank them, dorothy’s response is both gender neutral and allows her to fit in some very gentle sex ed on consent and thinking about pleasure that joyce desperately needs, cripes

    3. SvenTS

      I think that was sort of her point though. To try and get Joyce to see she’s going about this the wrong way (at least for Joyce) without directly confronting her that this is not the right way.

      1. Jeremiah

        Nah, I think that is just how Dorothy operates. If you are aren’t making diagrams, are you really even trying?

        1. Michael Steamweed

          Charts, diagrams, and spreadsheets. All are equally valid.

    4. Bash

      But those aren’t the only places that would be touched. If she’s comfortable with Joe kissing her neck or nibbling her ear, they could start there.

      1. Derek

        If Joyce puts ear nibbling as stage 1 of sexual touching, we’ll be here for 10 in-universe years (see you in 2068) before she’s even ready to say she wants something more explicitly sexual, even though internally she’s been ready to pounce on Joe long ago. She grew up in the same puritanical environment as Becky, so she’ll have a really hard time expressing she wants sex even when she does. Remember when Becky wished that Dina would jump on her and black out, so they could have sex but she could claim lack of agency for the encounter? A lot of women raised in incredibly conservative and sex-repressed environments have similar fantasies; because they’re not allowed to say the want sex and this mental block often remains even if they have left that community.

        Joyce should be encouraged to say explicitly what she wants.

        1. Jeremiah

          This IS her being encouraged to be explicit with what she wants though.

  19. IntangibleMatter

    Joyce will compile this list, but she draws the line at cartoony renditions of naked bodies.

  20. Suet

    This life drawing? No wonder she’s sweating bullets.

    don’t let Joyce know bout hickeys, the kinkiest touch.

  21. Proxiehunter

    Joyce, no.

    Joyce: Joyce, yes!

  22. Archieve

    Telling Joyce she’s probably too kinky for Joe to her probably sounds like she’s being told she’s already too sinful for even Joe.

  23. Florence

    Can’t wait for Dorothy to wear a cut out mask of joes face so she can help Joyce figure this out

  24. tim gueguen

    Joyce must have just copied a list from someplace, because if she actually saw examples of some things she’d be hiding under her bed forever.

    1. Jeremiah

      Might not had seen but she definitely read many of them. (Re: Amber fanfics)

  25. Pocky

    no matter how kink you think your fetish is

    there is always a kinkier fish

    . . . or was it a bigger fetish?

    1. Florence

      Ironically bigger is actually pretty low on the kink scale

    2. Chris Phoenix

      Fetishes of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.

      … Why yes, Eff Oh You Ess does sound vaguely obscene to me.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Sshh! Don’t say that! You’re just asking for an unusually-sized fetish to immediately jump out from behind a tree and tackle you. :O

        (you don’t want that, do you? such a fate would just be horrible!)

    3. Effie

      I cast Summon Bigger Fetish! 😀

  26. AGV/Ruby

    Joyce Brown, get back here and finish your erogenous body charts yourself!

  27. Barf Ninjason

    So, I suppose I’m tipping my hand here, but I feel like Joyce could probably assuage most of her sex guilt about these activities by, um, being spanked for doing them? Like, *there’s* your activity for the unfairly-guilty-conscience’d horny lass

    1. elfroyalty

      i feel like that has an equal chance of making her feel worse…

      1. Barf Ninjason

        Yeah it’s actually kind of unpredictable, but “you do the kinky sexual activity to alleviate my guilt over the kinky sexual activities” sounds like the kind of gut-logic Joyce could get behind

        1. Jeremiah

          50/50 wherever it works or end up like that scene from Tuca and Bertie. (Couldn’t find a good quality clip of it so if you got it you got it).

        2. Barf Ninjason

          Oh man, that was amazing. “NAH LET’S JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO IT, IT’S LIKE, WHATEVER!”

    2. Francoinblanco

      and the song rosenrot by Rammstein is playing in the background

  28. Dara

    subtext panel 2: “but not me.” xD

  29. BBCC

    You’ve been voluntold, Dorothy! XD

  30. ADLegend21

    All this Jacob and Lucy drama I forgot Joyce has a comic in the news paper and she draws lol

  31. Chris Phoenix

    If 99.999% of things on a list are something-er than whatever, that implies that there are at least 10,000 things on that list.

    ……. Dayyyum, Joyce!

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Well, that stack is a full ream of paper. Probably double-sided.

  32. Dday

    Joyce just wants Dorothy to let her say yes. That way she’s absolved from the terror of letting herself say yes.

  33. Chris Phoenix

    Can’t believe no one has yet posted a link (today) to “The Loophole” by Garfunkel and Oates. NSFW. Very funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY

  34. Needfuldoer

    Are those drawings… *gasp* naked?!

    1. Rotunda

      The penises on the whiteboards in the “Whiteboard Ding Dong Bandit” story were allowed. Apparently the rules that the website imposes on Willis allow depictions of nudity in drawings within the comic, but not in the comic itself.

  35. LaGrosseLegume

    OMG, i Love Dorothy’s face on second panel…

  36. darkoneko

    …Joyce no.

  37. Da Boy

    Turns out… I think either Sarah or Jacob were right. When they had that conversation about Joyce snapping and having sex with so many dudes. Except instead of normal sex with many dudes she’ll cram as many kinks as she can into one dude XD

    1. Mark

      That sounds painful.

    2. Michael Steamweed

      I certainly hope she asks the dude first!

      1. Banana Slamma

        Joe looks…sturdy and resilient.

  38. Mark

    Dorothy correctly calculated that accepting the task and doing it well would quickly scare Joyce off and she wouldn’t have to do any more.

  39. ValdVin

    I didn’t have “Dorothy’s first fan art” on my list of guesses for today.

  40. Deanatay

    CREV-ASS-ES

  41. Yeet

    so is joyce serious about life drawing or is it just the freaking out that’s happening here

  42. Amelie Wikström

    I predict the last panel will happen again the exact same way when Joyce first tries being naked with someone. Except she’ll be naked.

    1. Amelie Wikström

      How can you try all the things you want to do without actually needing to be present for doing them because it’s embarrassing? I guess having Dorothy do them for you. Or drugs.

      (Don’t do drugs in order to dare have sex.)

      1. Banana Slamma

        Already got pretty close with alcohol. Since they’re underage, not a huge difference, legally-speaking.

  43. Colin McKenzie

    I see it all now: Joyce insists on having Dorothy in the room to “coach and advise”, Joe gets freaked out and leaves, Joyce winds up grinding up against Dorothy, (some) happy readers.

  44. PirateTawnee

    As a Brit, I remain quietly amused whenever Joe Joyce is the sole text in a speech bubble, knowing him primarily as a former Heavyweight boxing champion.

  45. Michael Steamweed

    Oh my! Panels 4 and 5! That’s practically Slipshine stuff! :O

  46. Adept

    Joyce is not handling any of this particularly well.

  47. Opus the Poet

    Probably the freaking out, although she does seem to like life drawing,

  48. Banana Slamma

    So a 0 in comfort in her own body (all parts) and a 10 for interest in Joe’s (all parts). I guess Joyce is going to be more of a giver than a receiver…I wonder if Joe is ok with pegging in this case.

  49. Rolf of Many Doors

    This strip will probably be the closest thing to Willis drawing Joyce naked for the next twelve years and some change

    1. Jeremiah

      You haven’t seen the NSFW Patreon.

      1. Rolf of Many Doors

        I have – unless DMW’s done a full-nude since a few months ago, Joyce has only been shown semi-clothed, not fully naked.

  50. Laura

    …Anyone up for a (spicy) game?

    …Q: …Favorite crevice?
    (Bonus points for creativity…)

    1. Laura

      I can go first.

      A: The space between the big toe and the middle toe. Ooh, baby!

    2. Jeremiah

      I almost made a very dark joke but I decided against it.

    3. Rolf of Many Doors

      Antelope Canyon

    4. Felian

      Belly Buttons. You can always find interesting dust bunnies in there.

      1. Amelie Wikström

        Fun fact, each person have on average one unique species of bacteria living in their belly button. But maybe this is how we lower that average. . .

        1. Felian

          If you pick only your own, it’s probably fine. if you pick other people’s belly buttons without protection, you could exchange bacteria and then they are shared, no longer unique!

    5. NGPZ

      belly button… ?

      1. Felian

        OP DID WARN IT WAS A SPICY GAME lol

  51. Zamperla

    Keep trying joyce 99% of people give up before figuring out a way to engage in fulfilling sex without revealing themselves as a person with sexual desires.

  52. Felian

    The weird thing about internalized sexual shame is that it’s either all-encompassing OR very specific, and either option has loopholes. Either, only PIV sex is EVIL while all other kinky things you can think of are fine; or sex in general is EVIL no matter what kind, that’s the one i internalized, and realizing i’m queer did not change the amount of sexual shame for the worse, because my christian “community” made hetero sex look so EVIL that they failed to make gay sex look any worse. Somehow, i think that’s been easier for me to deal with than having to specifically unlearn that gay sex is a particularly shameful sin…..

  53. peng

    at first was kind of sad this scene was ending but kind of awesome that shes just fully making this about dorothy telling her what to do in bed

    also “you might scare him off” followed by dorothy being the least scared off its possible to be

  54. Yak

    This relationship is so weird and fucked up but *also* it makes for some really funny comics so I love it.

  55. Felian

    Wait, so Joyce is more comfortable with various sexual practices but running away from bodies? Oh no.

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