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Wallet
Posted on May 9, 2020 by David M Willis
The DUMBING OF AGE BOOK 9 KICKSTARTER has unlocked a pledge tier to add a magnet of HAIRCUT MALAYA to your Dumbing of Age Book 9! You can pledge for just Malaya, you can pledge for PICK THREE or PICK FIVE and select your squad, or you can go for the gusto of COMPLETE MAGNET POWER and get every single Book 9 magnet! What's next at $55k?  I dunno!  I honestly wasn't expecting this to hit $50k before I went to bed tonight.  GUESS I'LL SLEEP ON IT.

195 thoughts on “Wallet”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “I’m like Jack Bauer, I’ll sleep when I’m knocked out or temporarily dead”

    …

    shit, too soon?

    1. ValdVin

      If she’s like Jack Bauer, I hope she doesn’t need to use the facilities (sic) soon. He never got to go to the bathroom.

      1. Sirksome

        I’m getting real mixed messages on this whole cop thing. Can we trust them now or not?

        1. Yumi

          You can’t trust them, but things aren’t really set up to leave a whole lot of other options, is what I’m getting.

        2. Jamie

          That’s how institutions work, yeah.

        3. Wizard

          At some point, the cops are going to get involved. With Ross dead (or critically injured at the very least), this is no longer optional. Under the circumstances, it’s best if you call them. That way, they at least start with your narrative. There’s no guarantee this will work out for you, but the alternative will almost certainly be worse.

        4. Sirksome

          Hrmm I met this as a stand alone comment not a reply but uhhh….Jack Bauer wasn’t that great a role model if you ask me.

        5. Ana Chronistic

          I mean, I was joking about him not sleeping, don’t consider him a role model myself

        6. Reltzik

          You mean, if are we worried about whether they’re crooked cops twisted around Blaine’s finger?

          Obviously, Dorothy can trust them. See? She’s doing it right now.

          Equally obviously, Sarah doesn’t trust them.

          Whether they SHOULD be trusted? … well, we’re gonna be tackling that question experimentally, so hold on to your socks.

        7. Undrave

          There’s a limit to what crooked cops will do for a patsy, especially with all the witnesses, beaten-up goons and the dead man who was due back in court at some point in the future. It’s too many loose end to cover up. I think Blaine will be thrown out by the mafia and just replaced by somebody else.

        8. BBCC

          Look, the camera footage cut out and by the time it came back he was already dead, what do you want them to do?

        9. Undrave

          Basically yeah.

        10. JohnInCA

          As a rule of thumb, if you can’t accept anyone dying, don’t call the cops. They have an earned reputation for shooting the wrong person.

          Once the excitement is over? Fine to call the cops if there’s stuff to be handled.

          But the cops are like a loaded gun. Don’t point them at anyone/thing you don’t want to see destroyed. And yes, they’ve made that argument in court, saying they can’t be held liable for killing innocent non-threatening people, or be held liable for not showing up at all. And they won.

        11. Sirksome

          I mean I feel like this is a bit of a generalization that discounts many honest men and women in law enforcement. Most cops aren’t actively looking to shoot innocent people. But what I was questioning is if it’s okay or not to trust these specific cops now because they have been established as corrupt. That just seems like a dice roll in this situation but it also doesn’t seem like there is an alternative so maybe the risk is the only option.

        12. James

          A, the honest cops are still participants in a corrupt system that protects the worst ones. The culture of silence among cops is absolutely a thing.
          B, there is zero way to tell a good person in uniform from a bad one until they’re actively being terrible, which quite often involves people getting shot. It’s a generalization that quite literally saves lives.

        13. Chris Phoenix

          Yeah, there are a lot of cops who don’t go out of their way to abuse people, and there are a lot of pressures on them, and they’re trained to be extra-fearful. So yeah yeah, NotAllCops.

          But show me the cop who will rat out a fellow murderer-cop. That is a very rare breed. That’s who I’d consider actually honest. And yes, the system is set up to make that very hard to do. The system makes cops fearful and it makes cops corrupt.

          So not every cop has earned the reputation that cops have earned. But as a whole? Yes, they have earned it.

        14. thejeff

          A lot of it is that “trained to be extra-fearful” – especially of black men.

          It’s not really a matter of Good Cops or Bad Cops, but of a system that encourages the police to function as an occupying force in hostile territory.

          It’s also not uniform across the country – some areas have much better or worse records than average. A handful of departments have been able to improve dramatically in response to court orders and political pressure, but the will to do so has been rare.

          Corruption in the classic “paid off by the mob” sense is mostly a separate thing and my understanding is that while it certainly still exists, it’s much less common than decades ago.

        15. Viktoria

          There are no good cops. Good people can become cops, sure, but at some point, a cop will witness their coworkers beating someone, manufacturing evidence, shooting a child, etc. They either report it, get fired/blacklisted/institutionalized, and stop being a cop, or they help the coverup and stop being a good person.

          When you look up police shootings over the last 10 years, there’s a consistent trend of entire departments backing their officer even after video evidence shows the cop was lying, the kid was unarmed and obeying orders, and the cop has a history of violence. The department still backs the officer. And sure, maybe just ever cop at those specific departments is bad, but at a certain point you notice a trend.

          Never trust the cops, never call the cops, not unless you’re willing to accept responsibility for the deaths of the people they shoot.

        16. Elisto

          I agree with you’re point more broadly, just, specifically, I’m not sure you can really say *all* cops *will* witness wrongdoing. Growing up, a friend’s mom was a police officer, but she primarily did office work and conducted trainings. I’m not sure she would have had a lot of opportunities to see and report other officers committing crimes. Maybe she did, I honestly don’t know. I just wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t. Not all cops work on patrol for their entire careers.

          Again, I agree with your broader point though.

        17. SuperZero

          If cops that were actively looking to shoot innocent people were regularly arrested, charged, and convicted of the crimes that they unambiguously committed, then I’d agree.

          But I’ve heard of too many cases where the other cops did exactly the opposite of all of that.

        18. Jungle Dwayne

          As a non-American, I am honestly not sure if the above is satire or not. If it is satire, apologies for my naivety. If it is not, would you say that your opinion is representative of the American people in general?

        19. KJ

          I’m on mobile and can’t tell for sure which comment you replied to, but know that our law enforcement is unfortunately full of racism. Like…real bad. Black people get shot because cops “think they might have been armed.” White people can storm a state building with unconcealed weapons and the cops just blockade the entrance

        20. thejeff

          Oh no, it’s not at all representative of American people in general. Most of the white American population thinks of cops as generally trustworthy, despite some unfortunate cases. Some of the rest of the white population thinks they’re unfairly maligned and need to be more brutal to keep the criminals under control. And by criminals they mean blacks.

          The reality may be a little more nuanced. Black people do call cops, just not as easily and casually as white people do. I suspect that for most a serious crime like kidnapping would be sufficient – they’d weigh the risk of danger from the police against the existing danger from the crime itself, while most white people here wouldn’t even consider that a factor.

        21. Opus the Poet

          I used to ride a bicycle for transportation, and my take is cops either don’t know the law, or they actively ignore it and replace it with their own. Law in TX is that bicycles are vehicles and belong on the roads, but I have had to argue with cops after I got hit that I was where the laws required me to ride my bike on the road to prevent getting a ticket. It helps to know the statute number and paragraph (551.103-1b) when you do that.

        22. clif

          Agreed.

        23. Chris Phoenix

          Since there’s not a hostage situation, they probably won’t come in with guns ready to blaze, so there’s less chance of the kids getting shot.

          They may still be crooked, but history is written by the winners, so it’ll be harder for them to support Blaine now.

          So they’re kind of like a predator who’s not hungry at the moment. You don’t trust it, but you don’t immediately fear for your life near it.

          Cop as apex predator who usually doesn’t want to eat you is a metaphor I’ve had in mind for quite a few years. Now that I know more about how the U.S. works, I’ll say: Usually doesn’t want to eat you if you’re white (and three guesses why they’re usually not hungry when white people see them)

        24. Daniel M Ball

          check the police violence stats on a state and jurisdiction basis, the worst cops are in places like Washington D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, New York, and urbanized parts of the midwest.

          You know, all places that are single-party dominant with an emphasis on gun control. lots more trigger-happy, racist cops in those places, which just happen to also have a…political history that shouldn’t support that if you accept the common narrative. (those are also places with very strong Police Unions, which is one of the main drivers for protecting dirty, killer cops in this country.)

      2. Wizard

        I just assumed he made a quick pit stop during the commercials. I dunno, never watched the show.

  2. C.T Phipps

    Dorothy: Sarah, what DO you suggest we do with Blaine?

    Sarah: Whatever doesn’t involve the police.

    I mean, seriously, does she think they should just leave them there and not call the police at all?

    1. BBCC

      I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be sarcasm. On the same level as “Nooooo, I’ll hang around and get shot at instead” or something like that. I don’t think she’s necessarily against the idea of calling the police now that they’re not likely to come in with guns. Remember, she was the one who said ‘Tomorrow we’re shoving a police report up Ryan’s ass’ when Joyce was drugged. It was Sal who was skeptical about the police then and Sarah was not happy with her for it.

      1. Jamie

        Also remember: Sarah is training to be a lawyer.

        That doesn’t mean she trusts the police, but it does mean she has to have a working relationship with them at some level.

      2. Jo Giggles

        Sarah is a black woman. She is very anti police and did not want them there for her own personal safety because they would assume she was the criminal at fault. She even said so herself while they were tied up in the basement…

        1. BigDogLittleCat

          Anyone doubting the validity of Sarah’s concerns needs to read today’s headlines.

        2. JohnInCA

          The tragedy is this comment works on any given day that ends in “Y”.

        3. Regalli

          Agreed. I think she was willing to file the report in that strip partly because Doylistically, white writer, a decade ago, Willis’s understanding of these matters has clearly evolved, but also in-universe there’s a huge difference between helping bring someone who’s clearly been roofied into a police station (where there are questions of efficacy and harassment, but pretty low chance of weapons coming out,) and bringing the police, with guns, into a situation where there’s already a shitload of threat to you as a hostage to two OPENLY MURDEROUS dudes. One of whom is known to have kidnapped people at gunpoint, so the police may well be assuming guns were already in play. And also they’re all in a dark basement pre-sunrise. There Sarah’s safety is reliant entirely on the responding officers’ judgment calls in a very tense situation, and yeah, a look at the news will inevitably tell you that she has damn good reason to be wary of those snap judgment calls. This was still a RIDICULOUSLY risky plan, but it was a ridiculously risky plan that wasn’t introducing new variables that Sarah had every reason to be wary of. Calling the police did not actually remove all risk but change where the risk was.

          Anyway, by now the situation’s defused enough the officers won’t be going in expecting a fight (and therefore being trigger-happy.) So it’s at least a little less fraught. Also, now Dorothy can do all the talking as the Pleasant, Calm White Girl, which includes things like ‘oh yeah, one of the other hostages should be keeping watch over the other ringleader, he may be actively restraining him, we’re pretty scared of the guy who we saw mortally wound a man even if we’re pretty damn sure he’s subdued.’

        4. thejeff

          Even though I agree with the take on police in general and agree that there would be a risk of being shot by the police in a hostage situation, it’s very hard for me to see that as greater than the risks in just allowing the kidnappers to do as they wish.

          Unless of course you have a friendly campus super-hero coming to your rescue.

        5. Regalli

          Oh, yeah. This would be a COMPLETELY different mental calculus if AG weren’t around and didn’t have the track record she does. (Especially with these hostages, who don’t know about AG’s bad judgment calls with regards to Sal. If it were Marcie, Malaya, and Carla kidnapped with Amber, they’d still have some very real concerns, especially given Marcie’s both disabled and Latina, but they’d also have a totally different set of associations with AG.)

        6. BBCC

          I mean if those three were kidnapped, Sal’s showing up in like half an hour with a tire iron so I still rate Blaine’s odds of success quite low but still.

        7. Regalli

          Oh, absolutely. (And I excluded Sal because if he kidnaps her, AG doesn’t get called in because Sal will kick his ass herself. Basically, if Sal had gotten involved, the only change in the situation is WHICH 18-year-old kicks Blaine’s ass into the building’s foundation.)

    2. David M Willis

      all she said is she’s fucking tired, get off her ass

      1. Jonah Sanville

        fair

      2. C.T Phipps

        I was hoping she had a clever plan to send Blaine to the Phantom Zone.

        🙂

        1. Cybersnark

          Because that never backfires spectacularly.

      3. the void

        and that’s a fucking mood, lemme tell ya

      4. BigDogLittleCat

        Thank you.

      5. BBCC

        Okay so, less what I was thinking and more ‘Nah, too tired to get up. I’m so tired I might just fall asleep.’ with the obligatory dark humour of ‘lemme know if I get shot kay?”

      6. lightsabermario

        Watch out, that asleep person’s got a gun!
        *BLAMBLAM*
        Wait, no, that wasn’t a gun, it was a skin color different to mine. My mistake. /s

  3. Uly

    Walky’s still the only one clued in to the fact that Amber and Amazi-Girl aren’t the same person, noted.

    1. King Daniel

      Post-breakup Danny knows too, I think (pretty sure Amber’s since talked with him a few times on the topic in rather unambiguous terms).

      1. Regalli

        Immediately preceding the breakup, she talked about the car chase and was pretty explicit about the dissociation. I don’t think Danny got it at the time, but between time to process and her continuing to discuss it pretty frankly, I’m at least sure he COULD know. (Danny being as deep in superhero tropes as he is, it’s possible he isn’t interpreting things as dissociation even when she’s being explicit and unambiguous about it.)

        Dina, similarly, is aware that AmbG will third-person the other alter at the time (or occasionally things like ‘I’m Amber again, what does Amber do’ when she’d been spending a shitload of time as AG,) but between a limited frame of reference and Dina’s own difficulties with social cues and the like, I’m pretty sure last it was addressed, she thinks it’s a courtesy so she knows which name to use at any given time. (Especially since Amber and AG got considerably more fractured since school started, the fact that they’re rarely Full Stereotypical Multiple Personalities Ooooo Spooky means I’d expect a LOT of people miss things we see as cues unless they get something REALLY blatant like the ‘AG didn’t remember conversations Amber had with Walky’ bit Walky got.)

        I also wouldn’t be shocked, given Dorothy’s insistence here, if Dorothy has at least an inkling of the degree of separation at play here. (Probably depends at least a little on whether or not Dorothy heard Amber’s last words to Ryan. ‘Unfortunately for you, I am not Amazi-Girl’ CAN still be read as a cape thing, for sure, but it is also actually true.) And then as far as we know Sal doesn’t know, but since she’s spent so much time with AG and is now interacting more with Amber, I wouldn’t be shocked if she figures it out sooner rather than later.

        Assuming, of course, this doesn’t bring it all forward. I wouldn’t be shocked if by the end of this storyline, Amber ISN’T AG becomes wider knowledge as well.

        1. King Daniel

          This scene in particular is what I was most thinking of, re: Amber talking about the wole situation between herself and Amazi-Girl: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/find/

        2. King Daniel

          Also, this: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/pokestop/

        3. Regalli

          Yeah, that one’s unambiguous enough that even if he didn’t totally get it the storyline before (and judging from that strip, he didn’t,) it can’t really be cape trope’d away. I’d forgotten the wording, he definitely has the context to know.

        4. Regalli

          Also, thanks! I do not have the strongest memory for the backlog and am on mobile, where combined tag trawls are much harder. Appreciated!

        5. thejeff

          Part of Danny’s problem in grasping it and why Walky had a much easier time, is that most of Danny’s interaction with them was when they were much more integrated. Yes, he has context from some things she’s said since, but that conflicts with the much more casual way they treated it when he was dating AG (and kind of Amber, even though not officially.)
          He’s got enough pieces, but some of them are outdated and conflict with the newer ones.

          Walky on the other hand walked directly into a memory loss, which Danny’s never run into.

        6. Regalli

          Oh, yeah, I think I forgot to mention it in the Danny portion once I split him and Dina into separate paragraphs, but that was DEFINITELY a factor as well.

    2. Nono

      Dina is also vaguely aware.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, vaguely aware is the best term for it. I think she gets there’s SOMETHING up with AmbG but doesn’t really have the frame of reference to conclude ‘increasingly dissociating, increasingly traumatized alters’. Which, fair.

    3. showler

      Dorothy did not call her Amber. Possibly a deliberate choice?

      1. SuperZero

        I think it means she’s not planning on telling the police she knows who it is.

    4. KJ

      I’m actually quite surprised Ethan doesn’t know. I think Dina knows. I suspect Dorothy knows as well.

  4. woobie

    So is A Field Guide to Reverse Hostages on store shelves yet??

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Do you get that annoying beeping sound with Reverse Hostages?

      1. Opus the Poet

        Yep, all the time. Drives me ducking crazy.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    I’m running on empty lately because of personal events.

    1. Geneseepaws

      Hang in there. It’s a little weird out there (slash) in here.
      Best wishes.

    2. Ron again

      You’ve been doing your thing for a while, so it’s okay to miss inspiration from time to time. Hold on fren.

  6. BBCC

    God I love Dorothy.

    1. Jonah Sanville

      right?? i think i made this exact comment a few strips ago lol!! truly amazing

      1. BBCC

        She is the BEST.

        1. Regalli

          She is the right woman for this job, and I love her for it.

  7. Jonah Sanville

    tbh dorothy is probs the best person to make the police report

  8. NotAnElf

    Two non magnet suggestions 1) Double sized Sunday strips. you could just edit together two regular strips, do and extended scene as time and mood warrants. 2)Howz about pledger voted Slipshine style fun? I still wanna see Becky and Dina get Biblical with each other. At the very least I want to see Becky’s reaction to hatless Dina.

    1. David M Willis

      you can’t vote for my characters to do it with each other, that’s kinda my decision

      1. C.T Phipps

        You are a cruel and merciless God to your creations.

        Why we love you.

      2. NotAnElf

        I know the decision is yours but you could decide to put it up as a bonus goal for the kickstarter! 🙂 Obviously you’re free to ignore this but you did say you had no ideas at the moment.

        1. David M Willis

          I have lots of magnet ideas, I just don’t know which ones I’ll do cuz I can’t do all of them

        2. Van Jealous

          Your magnets ARE attractive after all!……sorry…..sorta

        3. Ray Radlein

          Fuckin’ magnets how are they so much work

    2. Laladoria

      But Becky already saw hatless Dina.

      1. King Daniel

        There was even a whole subplot about it and everything.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Dina could be naked and all Becky would notice is her head was bare

  9. Kyrik Michalowski

    As much as I love Sarah, Dorothy has stolen my heart for the moment. Having her help with the police report should go over well, and best case scenario Blaine ends up with a murder charge and goes directly to jail.

    But lest we forget, this whole thing is going to go on until June 23(?) so now the question becomes, what’s going to go wrong between now and then? Anyone want to place bets on Blaine somehow getting away with this?

    1. C.T Phipps

      I’m calling it now. Blaine attributes it all to Amazi-Girl, including the murder.

      Starting with her obvious secret identity: DOROTHY!

      1. SuperZero

        Considering all the other witnesses and evidence, he can try.

    2. G97

      Doubt it, he’s in a house tied up with police on their way and has about six scared college aged goons who will definitely sell him out at the first sign of jail time. I also doubt he’d psychically be able to leave considering he hasn’t slept for a day and probably has an untreated broken rib in addition to other potential injuries. Regardless I don’t think the mob are going to like having their time and potentially their money wasted on a single idiot for a revenge mission without their permission.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        SIX scared goons?  Are you including Asher?  Up to this point, as far as I can remember, all he did was pull a fire alarm.  Does he even know what he pulled it for?  Do you think Blaine told EVERYONE involved, no matter how little they might have been involved, EVERYTHING about his plan?  Even the other five mooks were lined up under the guise that they were going to be able to get a chance to get even with Amazi-Girl.

        1. BBCC

          I think they just miscounted the number of goons.

        2. G97

          Yeah I miscounted. Asher probably wouldn’t be facing legal consequences considering he was blackmailed and probably has no idea the extent of what Blaine was planning.

        3. Regalli

          It’s entirely possible he’d be charged, but that requires him being found out first. Between that, the blackmail, and the fact that you can’t discuss the blackmail without discussing he’s from a mob family and trying to get out (and therefore would be VERY LIKELY to flip if offered protection, hint hint,) I’m pretty sure he’s in WAY better shape than everyone else involved in this scheme.

    3. SuperZero

      They emerge from the house to find that a pandemic has raged across the world over night.

      1. Opus the Poet

        That’s the plot to 28 Days.

  10. G97

    I don’t like how this shaping up. Ethan is probably the strongest physically of the group and should probably be watching Ball-Peen instead of Walky. Ethan should also be there when police start asking questions since he has a previous relationship with Ambers dad and can verify if he did anything like this in the past. Also Walky should probably be the one going to the hospital since he’s officially Mikes roommate and not someone who can’t be verified by the unconscious patient if they’re a friend or not.

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      Except Walky’s useless for anything more involved than sitting on someone.

    2. Sirksome

      No offense here but I have to respectfully disagree. Ethan may be physically the strongest on paper but he is not a fighter and I would argue the comic went out of its way to show that what with him quietly stewing while even Walky made wisecracks and the whole “I have a fork” joke while practically every girl there hurt someone (except maybe Dorothy?). So if they had it handled during the fight they probably still do. Also Walky’s useless in most serious situations and would not be the one I’d choose to check in on Mike. He’d probably get lost just trying to find his room.

      1. Regalli

        I’m pretty sure Ethan’s response to fight-flight-fawn-freeze is very firmly ‘freeze’, yes. Which isn’t a value judgment, but does mean he’s not going to be useful if it comes to a fight again.

        Blaine is, as you could kind of see in the preview panel for the Patreon strip and the ‘we’ve run out of duct tape’ one, on the floor with his arms seemingly duct taped together (so he has no leverage whatsoever) and a cape DEFINITELY duct taped around his head (so he can’t see). Add in the clearly-implied-to-be-serious injuries from the Mike fight and whatever he got fighting Toedad, and he’s functionally useless. Like, I think the only means of movement he has right now is rolling around or maybe inching like a caterpillar. Both blind. And as far as we know the basement door’s still open. (Pretty sure there’s a door to the basement, anyway. Point being he tries to squirm, he may well fall down the stairs by accident.)

        I am legitimately more worried Blaine dies of his injuries while no one’s looking before the police get there than I am of Blaine escaping.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          I like that.  Maybe he will fall down the stairs by … “accident”.  Y’know, like slipping on a bar of soap (“Dirty Dozen” reference).

        2. SuperZero

          Ethan did not freeze. He shoved Sarah and Walky behind himself and shielded them with his body.

          He then did nothing else and Walky had to try to defend him from behind, but he did not freeze.

    3. Norah

      Ethan has Mike’s ID now that he can give to the people at the hospital, who don’t even know who Mike is if he’s unconscious. Once they get that they’ll call Mike’s parents, who’ve known Ethan for years.

      1. Fart Captor

        OH. I hadn’t put it together whose wallet that was. That makes so much more sense now

    4. SuperZero

      Ethan is largest, which gives him an edge, but Amazi-Girl is probably stronger because she actually works at it.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Why does Ethan, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?

    5. KingoHrts

      Am I the only one who thinks putting Walky in charge of watching the bad guys is a BIG mistake? It’s like leaving Deputy Fife in charge. When the cops arrive all of the bad guys are gone, Walky is covered head to toe in duct tape, and for some reason there is a case of pickles on fire in the corner.

      1. SuperZero

        Walky is capable of yelling real loud, and also being a weight. Those are the two primary required skills.
        And he’s not incompetent. He’s always cracking jokes, but he can still pay attention. He knows his limitations, and despite his interesting views on masculinity he’s not actually worried about being shown up by the girls–he’ll scream for help if something starts to go wrong, and that’s all they need him to do.

    6. Valerie Holt

      Guys – Ethan HAS BEEN IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION BEFORE AS THE HOSTAGE

      We’ve heard a lot about what it’s done to Amber’s psyche, but Ethan was doubtlessly traumatized too. We see it in his body language throughout. Give my guy some damn slack.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, I do NOT expect his comedown to be pleasant, once he’s out of the immediate danger and can process this just happened. (And it’s not as though things in the last hostage situation he was a part of were all good once the police showed up. That’s gonna be a stressor too.) I’m more, in general, ‘Ethan’s not a fighter, knows this, and acknowledges this, so let’s get him out of the fresh trauma ASAP yeah?’

        1. BBCC

          It didn’t even occur to me how triggering this could be for Ethan. Poor baby.

  11. motorfirebox

    We’ll compromise. AMBERZI-GIRL!

    1. Needfuldoer

      I’m still partial to using “Amazi-ber” when they team up.

  12. YakkoRex

    Excuse my stupidity, but whose wallet and phone is that?

    1. poofdepoof

      Mike’s

    2. Ray Radlein

      Mike’s. Amazi-Girl took them off his not-corpse for… safekeeping?

      1. Agemegos

        Anonymising?

      2. Jay

        So the hospital couldn’t identify him and call the cops hence giving blaine actual access to mike

    3. Agemegos

      Mike’s wallet and Mike’s phone.

    4. hof1991

      If you’re injured and admitted to a hospital, it’s a good idea to have someone hold your phone and wallet. Not like those gowns have pockets. But this is a narrative device.

      1. thejeff

        Not just that, but if you’ve been injured by someone with mob connections and know there are corrupt police involved, you don’t want the hospital to identify you. So your superhero ally keeps your papers until it’s safer.

  13. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    *tilts head*

    I’m sorry but shouldn’t EVERYONE stay in one place until after the police and paramedics get there so that they can be looked over *and* give them reports to the police? Like. . . this feels like a really really dumb idea here.

    1. Agemegos

      That’s what they want you to do.

    2. SuperZero

      Only one person is leaving.
      And no, getting the Hell out of there is generally the accepted procedure. They do seem to have incapacitated all the bad guys (well, the bad guys helped incapacitate a couple of them), and have apparently decided that they’re safe, though, which changes that.

      1. Nono

        Only one person is leaving, but another was given permission to leave.

    3. Ray Radlein

      I’m sure the police would certainly like for all of them to stay put and answer questions, but it’s not like anyone who leaves is likely to get in a lot of trouble for doing so as long as they make themselves available later.

    4. Needfuldoer

      “Our kidnappers gave us a credible threat against our friend in the hospital, so I went there to check on him” is a pretty compelling argument for leaving.

  14. CMasta

    THERE. Are you happy cop favoring comments? The law is on its way.

    1. KJ

      And we also know the arc isn’t over yet :’)
      Although, honestly , I’m more expecting trouble when Ethan tries to find Mike

  15. Bagge

    Know it all and proud!

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Being right may make you look like a tight ass, but being right allows you to do the work more efficiently. Cynicism doesn’t help.

  16. DahliaRose

    So, who wants to take bets on Joyce’s bongo of a mothers reaction to all this? Personally I think she’ll blame Ross’ death and everything that happened on the “Dark and Godless” path Becky has gone down. I’m also hoping she’ll say it at the funeral and Joyce will snap and deck her.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      No, it will take a lot more than that to drive Joyce to physically strike her mother.  Sure she was able to clobber Toedad after the first kidnapping attempt, but he’s not family.

      1. thejeff

        Given that Carol was part of getting Ross out in the first place, we may be closer than you think.

  17. abysswatcher1993

    So far Dorothy has been a good leader. Can she consider being in a law enforcement agency instead of being president? It is more realistic and she could do more good since the actual president of the united states has shown how stupid the current government is.

    1. Cal

      Nah, all cops are bastards.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        That’s like saying all politicians are corrupt, or all lawyers are scheissers (from which we get the somewhat more polite word ‘shyster’), or all used car salesman are liars.

        But for the sake of discussion, let’s assume that you (and some of the others here) are right and that all cops ARE bastards and not to be trusted.  So when DO you need help, like Joyce and company do now, who ya gonna call?  Ghostbusters??

        1. Fart Captor

          My dude, do you understand that Sarah’s stance on not calling the cops is a very common sentiment for Black people in this country? Willis didn’t pull that out of his ass. If you’re not white, not Christian, not neurotypical, etc, odds are high that you don’t call the cops unless you think somebody is already dead, because otherwise odds are too high that you’re putting yourself and your neighbors at risk of being shot, on top of the cops not actually doing anything to solve the problem you called them about

          The men who murdered Ahmaud Arbery MONTHS AGO, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT were finally arrested this week because video of it went viral on social media. Video the cops had done nothing with all this time. This shit happens all the time.

          But go ahead and make jokes because you pay so little attention that the idea of cops not being safe is laughable to you

        2. Yumi

          Also, just because there may be limits on alternatives (often intentionally on the part of the powers that be) doesn’t make the cops good or trustworthy. Calling the cops =/= trusting the cops.

    2. Keulen

      The current U.S. president has definitely shown that Dorothy wouldn’t need to study so hard and get into Yale to become president.

    3. Chris Phoenix

      Trump didn’t show how stupid it is. Trump made it that stupid. I’m not saying it was great before, but Trump made it a lot worse.

      And “stupid” is the wrong thing to focus on. How about “treasonously incompetent by design”?

      1. SuperZero

        Every member of his party in congress openly broke their oaths to protect him. He didn’t actually cause that.
        They did so even though it was the perfect opportunity to remove him, even if they didn’t care about the constitution or the country or the law or the anything, in case of a national emergency, since he was obviously unambiguously unequipped to handle that. And then we got one of those, and he did not handle it.

        He did certainly make it worse, though. That’s certainly true.

        1. thejeff

          Yeah, as awful as Trump is, he wouldn’t be a threat without the Republican party backing him up. And he wouldn’t ever have been elected without decades of the GOP shaping their base and the public debate in this country to allow a racist demagogue to take over.

      2. Wizard

        No, it was already stupid. Trump has merely made the danger of the imperial Presidency painfully obvious. Congress and the courts have ceded far too much power to the executive, in a fully bipartisan process that stretches back decades. If the President were constrained to the proper, Constitutional role, Trump wouldn’t be able to do much damage, and his buffoonery would be merely amusing. No single human being should be trusted with the kind of power and influence currently invested in the US President. Too bad the Democrats will forget that the instant Trump is out of office and a Democrat is in.

    4. thejeff

      I’d say the current situation more shows how important it is not to have someone stupid in charge of the government, not that government itself is stupid.

      1. Wizard

        I’d have to disagree somewhat. I’m not going to defend Trump. He’s offered (further) proof that he’s utterly incapable of either leading competently or getting the hell out of the way. His constant blather on TV and Twitter certainly isn’t helpful, either. But, that being said, much of the government’s failure was institutional, and would have happened no matter who was in the White House. Bureaucratic inertia hamstrung early response, and continues to impede the effort. As usual, one of the best things the government could do can be summed up in one word: less.

        1. thejeff

          So, it’s good to sideline the CDC and cut the pandemic planning efforts they’d been working on? Should we have done less to get ready for it back in January and February? Trump’s certainly working on cutting through the bureaucracy. Mostly so his flunkies can grift and cheat without constraints.

          You either want a government that can handle things like this effectively or you don’t. You can’t do “less” in order to do more.

        2. SuperZero

          Wait, is the problem that they’re impeding the effort, or should they not have made an effort? Because that’s kinda contradictory there.

  18. :0

    Frankly, this looks like the least realistic kidnapping story ever

    1. Mark

      I’m glad its extremely unrealistic because it’d be very bad for these kids if it was in any way realistic and as much as some of them annoy me I don’t want to see any of them hurt

    2. Sombrero

      Dunno, when you make the mistake to kidnap a superhero the final result usually is like this.

    3. BigDogLittleCat

      I’d say it’s certainly the least realistic DoA story ever.

  19. JessWitt

    If my math is right, eleven people, all students, know Amazi-Girl’s identity.

    It’d be a dozen if Ross was, um, alive. And I’m not sure if Blaine believes it.

    1. clif

      He pretty definately doesn’t.

  20. John

    I really identify with Dorothy here.

  21. Bagge

    I love how Sarah comes out of a night long kidnapping and fight just as cranky as she went into it.

    Never let the word change you, Sarah!

    1. SillyGoose

      I fail to see how being tied up, thrown down a flight of stairs, threatened repeatedly and put in mortal peril should have cheered her up, tbh.

      1. Ray Radlein

        Like hitting yourself, it feels so good when it stops

  22. Bicycle Bill

    I’m surprised no one said this yesterday, so I’m going to say it now.

    Ross isn’t dead, he’s only mostly dead.  And mostly dead is slightly alive.

    1. woobie

      It’s like people think comic book death is real.

      1. Opus the Poet

        I can state for certain that unless you are all dead you still have a small chance of being All-Not-Dead. You don’t even need a pulse or respiration, just some brain stem activity and response to pain.

        1. Needfuldoer

          It only takes depriving the brain of oxygen for a few minutes before irreparable damage starts setting in, though. Once the outer inch or so is gone, even if you get respiration and a pulse going again you’re pretty much just keeping the body alive.

    2. SuperFroakie82

      I suppose it’s possible that he’s not dead yet, but the previous strip’s hover text seemed to imply he was, or at least he is going to be dead very soon.

      1. Ray Radlein

        Well, his chest was still apparently rising and falling visibly in yesterday’s strip, albeit only shallowly

    3. DaveM

      Yeah, but who’s going to waste a miracle on Ross? Ok, Becky or Carol maybe, for the wrong reasons, but still maybe. No one else though, Ross didn’t seem to be very big in the making friends department. (singing) “I am a Toe, I am an Island”…

    4. Sombrero

      Yesterday’s strip title implied that Ross died shortly after Mike’s entrance.

      1. John

        Maybe Imaginary Mike is a psychopomp.

  23. Keulen

    DoA Book 10: Maybe I’ll Just Fall Asleep On This Porch And You Can Let Me Know If I’m Dead Later

    1. King Daniel

      Dumbing of Age Book X: Do You Ever Reach a Level of Tired Where You Stop Sounding Like a Know-It-All?

      1. CJ

        if Dorothy ever gets that level of tired, she is likely in dire need of help. To someone like Dorothy, not sounding like a no-it-all is a hard fought for conscious choice. When she get a level of tired where she can not longer support that, she sounds more like a know it all than normal. Beyond that, we are talking about shutting down brain functions.

        1. thejeff

          When she’s asleep she probably doesn’t sound like know-it-all.

  24. DarkoNeko

    “also I can’t see well enough to go back on my own”

  25. Kater

    Dorothy accomplished all this without glasses…
    She’s got my vote

  26. Sirksome

    I okay so, I gotta ask. Is this corrupt cop think like actually a plot point now? Cause I thought it was a throw away line to justify not calling them and having a cool action scene. Y’know fair enough. But Amber took Mike’s wallet and phone so he couldn’t be identified, which means he’s at the hospital alone, which adds validity to Blaine’s stupid threat about being able to kill him with a phone call and I think I’d have a stroke if that line of bullshit was true!

    And there’s like a ton of questions about how Mike knows about this. Am I supposed to believe he spent all his free time investigating Indiana’s corrupt police department between his scenes banging Ethan and being an asshole? If I archive binge the Mike tag is there a bunch of background hints at this?

    1. Regalli

      It’s not that Blaine necessarily has contacts in and of himself – I’d be absolutely shocked if there were other mob people who knew and were on board with his dumbass plan!

      It’s that Blaine is, well-established, a mob stooge. A mob stooge who deals with the money, which means they’re gonna want to keep him out of trouble as long as possible because investigating him can do a lot of damage. (Blaine also, evidently, was not very careful covering his tracks in his own household, because both Mike and Stacy found out – likely independently, if he’s leaving those receipts around.)

      Mike doesn’t need to know every corrupt cop in Indianapolis – he just needs to know which mob Blaine’s associated with (and he had several years to do that digging, even if Stacy didn’t figure out in the divorce,) and if they have a presence in Bloomington. AmbG also knew Blaine was a mobster, which means she considered the possibility as credible as Mike did. (And it’s always possible Mike was wrong about how much leverage Blaine ACTUALLY has – I’m pretty sure if any of the actual mob figure out what his plan is they’d go ‘fuck no’.) They think if Blaine calls and can spin this – and ‘this kid knows what I do and was shouting it and running’ is both factually true and a damn good threat to their bottom line – the mob will do that work for him without knowing his actual PLAN.

      1. Regalli

        Tl;dr: At the moment, AG is operating consistently under the same logic she’s been working off of – as far as she knows, Mike is right and Blaine COULD call in a contact to deal with This Kid Who Knows Too Much. She made the decision to take his stuff right after the last scene we had with real!Mike. The threat is reasonably credible, not because of anything about Blaine in particular or his shitty plan, but because Blaine’s job means he knows a lot and the mob will therefore try and protect him as an asset (until Asher’s Gramps realizes what absolute BULLSHIT Blaine just pulled on his own time, considers the likelihood of Blaine embezzling to fund this INCREDIBLY DUMB scheme, and decides to cut his losses.) Blaine probably doesn’t have people on hand at the hospital (that’s a bluff, if his mob contacts think Mike’s a threat worth killing, they’re just gonna kill him,) but he likely has people who COULD take a call from him and agree Mike is worth killing.

        1. Needfuldoer

          I didn’t even think of that! If Amazi-Girl took Mike’s ID after he went splat, then put in an anonymous 911 call, the paramedics would have checked him into the hospital as a John Doe.

          IF Blaine had someone inside the hospital, they would have to find him by physical appearance instead of just looking for his name on a chart.

          Mike should have had some form of photo ID in his wallet; Ethan and the hospital staff can find him.

          For Ethan’s sake, I hope this doesn’t lead to him having to identify the body.

        2. Regalli

          God, I hope not as well.

          Though at least the likelihood of Mike dying there in the hospital would be firmly in ‘anonymous, died of injuries’ and not ‘mobsters who may still be lurking’? I hope?

          The month and change left on this storyline is still TERRIFYING.

    2. Spriteless Girl

      Mike figured out Blaine was crap the first time they met, and found proof the after he beat him to his daughters birthday party, based on some receipts Blaine left lying around, and blackmailed him with them. Resulting in Blaine driving Amber to the field trip. Resulting in stabs. After Blaine threatened Mike, it’s likely Mike kept looking for ways to hurt Blaine, while keeping himself safe. So Mike would make it his business to learn.
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/mike+blaine/page/3/

  27. Eldritchy

    You know, I’m somewhat interested in the aftermath of this whole thing. What I mean is, Toedad was released on bail, right? And then went STRAIGHT into committing an even bigger crime than the one that got him arrested in the first place. Anyone knows what kind of hell will break loose with the media accusing the judicial part of the government regarding this case?

    1. temperaryobsessor

      Bail is a legal requirement and his community was not able to get him released on their own.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Bail is not a legal requirement if the individual is at risk for flight or is likely to commit crimes while out on bail. People are denied bail all the time, it depends on the situation.

        1. Regalli

          Indiana, apparently, requires bail for everything except murder. Now, they can set that bail exorbitantly high (and probably did, given the pooled church funds couldn’t reach it,) but sometimes: gangsters!

  28. FacelessDeviant

    If Sarah is worried about getting killed, then why doesn’t she just leave?
    Seems a bit strange to be against 9-1-1 when there is a person seriously injured, maybe even dead already.

    1. FacelessDeviant

      To clarify, the part about leaving was serious. She could go back to her room and the others could tell the cops she left, possibly from chock or actually just tell them she was worried she’d get shot by the cops.
      For maximum safety.

      1. Sam

        Dorothy literally just answered why: Sarah is exhausted now that the adrenaline has worn off, she is probably too tired to make it back on her own.

  29. Ryek Hvek

    People from abroad, wondering about US law enforcement and persons of color, aside from simply shooting them in the back, might look for an old book written by Eliot Asinof (Eight Men Out) entitled People vs. Blutcher

  30. Needfuldoer

    Oh no, I hope Ethan having Mike’s wallet and phone doesn’t cause him any case-of-mistaken-identity trouble down the road. We still have a month of story left in this chapter, but we don’t need any more loose ends!

  31. Treita

    I know that feeling, it sucks. My wife died end of last year, I found her in bed. I was the one to tell all 8 friends and family in the house. They fell apart but somebody had to stay composed to call the police, talk to people when they arrived, make decisions about her being taken right away or left for last goodbyes and other stuff.
    3 hours of tearing myself up inside trying not to scream knowing that our home had just shattered.

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