It is almost easier knowing your significant other’s family won’t like you. Then you have no where to go but up. Or, you cut off contact with them except for required events such as a wedding or funeral.
My layers are a bit below the surface and I always gave the impression of a polite, smart, considerate guy. Ergo, parental approval was often a thing. But of course there were sides to me only the girl (and, when older, woman) found out.
For us bookish-seeming sorts, it’s a pretty good gig.
ischemgeek
For me it’s been hit or miss. I am not traditionally feminine even back when I thought I was cis, so conservatives generally don’t like me. Left wing folks OTOH usually do.
Just realised I was the Dorothy for most of mine (not sure about the first, wasn’t around enough talk to them)
Taffy
For what it’s worth, conservatives don’t like it when somebody eats a different breakfast than them. Their opinions tend to be about as valuable as a PlayStation 5 at the Antiques Roadshow.
Well, I’ve found lute ukeleles (above) and banjo ukeleles
(https://youtu.be/E5FuQAXmFFw) and banjo tunes played on a lute ukelele, but not a combination banjo/lute/ukelele.
Oof, that isn’t going to be fun if and when he wants her to meet them. Also “dorothy slipping through his hands” is not a healthy attitude to have and even worse that his mom is the one thinking it.
It’s worth pointing out that Joe is not a reliable narrator. We know that Joe believes Danny’s mom thinks that, but have no real evidence that she actually does.
bit stereotypical but i think depending on the person, having “parents disliking your friends/partner” would make one double down on liking them more. Though i mean as long as they’re not “you’re not allowed” it shouldn’t really be a big deal, i don’t think it should matter if parents disapprove of someone’s choice in friends/partners unless tehy’re literally endangering them
Speaking personally (I’m dating someone for the first time in forever and thinking about this)-
On the one hand, I definitely agree. Your parents shouldn’t have any bearing on who you see. They’re not entitled to that degree of presence in one’s life. On the other hand- my mom is one of the smartest people I know, and she has a wide-ranging group of people she’s friends with. If she doesn’t get along with my girlfriend, there’s going to be a reason, and that reason might be valid*. It’s the same reaction I would have if someone I’m dating didn’t get along with my friends.**
I used to be incapable of agreeing to do anything my mom suggested, largely because I lived at home and felt that she was way too controlling. Now that I’m in my own place, I still think she’s got some control issues, but we’ve largely established a healthier relationship. So *that* aspect- that disliking her will make me like her more *shouldn’t* apply.
I am prepared for the occasional passive-aggressive comment that expresses that she’s worried that I might not be happy with her if this relationship lasts, but she’s done that so much with regards to me being a teacher that I can basically ignore it lol.
* I sincerely doubt it’ll happen, because my girlfriend is, objectively, The Best.
** See aforementioned Best status for why I doubt this will happen.
Alex
My momma don’t like you, and she likes everyone.
Rogue 7
Us both having Danny gravatars makes this weird, my friend.
Honestly, that’s probably comforting for Sal in several ways. If there was potential for Danny’s parents to like her, she’d be expected to try to meet their expectations. But she’s not Dorothy. She will never be Dorothy, that’s an unobtainable goal(even Dorothy is only arguably Dorothy). So she will never measure up, but that means she’s free to focus on making Danny and herself happy, no one else. And that’s a better way to build a relationship.
I mean, not only are they automatically not going to approve of her, it’s going to be over something that has nothing to do with Sal herself. There is no actual negative judgment of Sal involved, just who she’s not. She doesn’t have to pass or fail on her own merits. She’s safe.
Yes, this automatic pre-disapproval seems pretty healthy. They won’t dislike her for the usual racism reason and won’t LIKE her just because of her parents’ status. Maybe Danny’s parents will turn out to not be bigots and will grow to appreciate a girlfriend who makes Danny happy over the long haul.
Danny’s parents seem like they’d be a distressing amount of pressure for a partner, given how they seemed to think Dorothy (and then, briefly, Amber) was his good quality, singular.
Being someone else’s best quality is far too much to have dumped on you.
But, hey, at least interacting with Joe counts as far less authoritative practice on this count for Sal.
Danny’s parents are no Naomi, or Ross, or Blaine, or Carol, or Linda, but even if they’re not one of the hated parents… they honestly are kind of terrible. Like, they are least seem redeemable, but they need to believe in their damn kid more and stop demeaning him.
Dorothy mentioned earlier in the strip that his parents gave her a picture frame endorsing the virtues of marriage: I know the main reason she dumped him, but you’ve GOT to imagine that played a part in it.
Dorothy didn’t specifically mention it was Danny’s parents though, she just said it was an ex boyfriend’s parents.
Could still have been them, but it’s not definite.
thejeff
Not 100%, but kind of a stretch to think it wasn’t. It fits them and they’d been dating a couple of years. The farther back you go and the younger Dorothy was the creepier it gets.
That also specifies she was 16 and I seem to remember she’d been dating Danny for two years at the start when she was 18.
Which also means it was pretty early on in their relationship, making it even more awkward.
Y’all are freshmen in college. Let’s just get to the Facebook official stage of dating first (am I showing my age with that being a relationship stage?)
Despite this Danny’s parents are still not the worst parent(s)and/or gaurdians probably not even in the top five( if thinking individual parental figures vs groupings).
Looking at parental pairs(counting based on the worst member of any pair of parents):
Amber’s dad
Becky’s dad
Joyce’s mom
(lots of space)
Ruth’s Sir
The Walkertons
Ethan’s parents
Danny’s parents
Joe’s parents
(everyone past this point is basically fine and I’m not sorting them, except Dina and Dorothy’s families are perfect and good)
So based on that, Sal barely makes the top 5 worst families(which should not be taken as an endorsement of her parents under any circumstances).
Also, new revelations/more presence for any of the ones other than the top 3 could easily swap the order. Specifically, I suspect Sal’s parent’s have done more to actively screw her up than Danny’s have, and have had more time disapproving of her than Ethan’s homophobic parents have, but both of those are easily arguable.
I might put the space after Ruth’s sir (Clint), rather than before him. Hasn’t he been shown to terrorize Ruth, including by threatening Howard’s safety? He’s sneakier with adults, but he’s still a capital-A Abuser.
And maybe another space before Joe’s dad. Richard is a womanizer/cheater, plus he’s a blithe idiot about preventing future cheating — his selfish actions messed Joe up, but that’s not quite the same as directly attacking his kids’ sense of self-worth. And if you mean Stacey, Amber’s mom, she is kinda spacey and ineffective but she’s doing her best, plus she’s an abuse survivor who risked her life to get her kid away from Blaine, that’s a dang heroine.
BBCC
And all we know about Joe’s mom, Karen, is she used to gush over how proud she was of Joe on the phone because he was kind, courteous and liked to read philosophy. Aaaaand then puberty hit and she was worried because she saw a resemblance to his dad and can ya blame her?
Oh, and she dropped him off at orientation.
Needfuldoer
And that was a bonus strip, IIRC.
She hasn’t made an appearance in the main comic yet.
And Karen died of an eating disorder and helped push making eating disorders a thing that could be treated. We don’t know anything about Joe’s mom having an eating disorder.
thejeff
I’d probably put Clint above Carol even. I expect to see a full on villain arc with him at some point.
And not much of a gap between Carol and Linda. Naomi might be in that range, if we saw her more.
I dunno about this, Naomi is honestly a truly horrible human being. I think if we saw her more often, she might beat out Linda, even.
Nono
True, Linda does (kinda) look out for her kids.
Naomi point blank said to Ethan he turned into a disappointment, told him to bang Joyce over and over, and then told Joyce she’d be easy.
Cerusee
Yeah. I mean, she didn’t kidnap Ethan at gunpoint to try to send him to straight camp, so she is de facto not as bad as Ross….but she’s still extremely homophobic! It’s not great!
It might only be because of her parents, apparently they are well-off and connected. Even Billies’ terrible frenemies are impressed by Wally’s parents. I’m sure they wouldn’t invite just any hot boy to join them.
I mean, i never want kids, though in theory i wouldn’t have any issue with any of my kids friends unless they were unnecessarily rude to me or secretly a ‘friendly bully’ kinda person (though usually those types of ppl can’t coerce themselves all the way into another person’s house)
but i’d be polite/neutral and be liek “sure they can come over for dinner if it’s ok with their parents” but not necessarily go outta my way to befriend them/their parents
122 thoughts on “Bluke”
Ana Chronistic
“havin’ ta meet expectations? that’s fer CHUMPS”
Kyrik Michalowski
It is almost easier knowing your significant other’s family won’t like you. Then you have no where to go but up. Or, you cut off contact with them except for required events such as a wedding or funeral.
Rose by Any Other Name
I have… never experienced that.
Maybe I was too ‘Dorothy-esque’ or something, but parents of various significant others always found me delightful.
I mean, to my knowledge. I suppose some of them could have secretly hated me, but if so, they kept their secrets well.
ValdVin
My layers are a bit below the surface and I always gave the impression of a polite, smart, considerate guy. Ergo, parental approval was often a thing. But of course there were sides to me only the girl (and, when older, woman) found out.
For us bookish-seeming sorts, it’s a pretty good gig.
ischemgeek
For me it’s been hit or miss. I am not traditionally feminine even back when I thought I was cis, so conservatives generally don’t like me. Left wing folks OTOH usually do.
Ana Chronistic
Just realised I was the Dorothy for most of mine (not sure about the first, wasn’t around enough talk to them)
Taffy
For what it’s worth, conservatives don’t like it when somebody eats a different breakfast than them. Their opinions tend to be about as valuable as a PlayStation 5 at the Antiques Roadshow.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Oh Sal. I’m a parent, and I like you. And no, I don’t have any expectations to foist upon you. Be yourself, and be loved for being yourself.
‘You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.’ –Mr Rogers-ish
The Wellerman
?
Nono
“Bluke”, as in “Blue ukulele”.
ktbear
Oh, thank you for clearing that up.
Johan
I also have a bluke.
I’m not any good but I love how stupid I look.
Nathan
“I love how stupid I look” ?
Good priorities ❤
Jo_cubstar
I googled “bluke” and came up with the name of a card game and was incredibly confused
Freddie!
I had no idea that Danny owned a hybrid banjo/lute/ukulele.
Laura
That sounds AWESOME.
Laura
*Plays the lute/ukulele like a banjo on the hacked muzak.*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJh865acA-U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM-TLqBEhGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QcIpUmdUKA
Laura
Well, I’ve found lute ukeleles (above) and banjo ukeleles
(https://youtu.be/E5FuQAXmFFw) and banjo tunes played on a lute ukelele, but not a combination banjo/lute/ukelele.
Keulen
I was wondering wtf that was, google brought up a card game.
Kyrik Michalowski
Oof, that isn’t going to be fun if and when he wants her to meet them. Also “dorothy slipping through his hands” is not a healthy attitude to have and even worse that his mom is the one thinking it.
Mano308gts
It’s worth pointing out that Joe is not a reliable narrator. We know that Joe believes Danny’s mom thinks that, but have no real evidence that she actually does.
thejeff
We don’t know that she still does, but it fits well with what we saw from them early on.
Johan
Ive never had a mom hate me when I dated someone but I did have some that didn’t like me as a friend.
Like sorry Ma’am but your kid is who provides the cigs, weed, and beer. I’m just here to play videogames and complain about stats HW.
Johan
I also wanna say I like the Joe Sal budding friendship. Might be good for both of them since they both perceive themselves is broken.
DailyBrad
Yeah, I agree. The two potentially have a fair bit in common, so there’s a fun dynamic there.
Nono
They HAVE both been punched by a girl.
anon
bit stereotypical but i think depending on the person, having “parents disliking your friends/partner” would make one double down on liking them more. Though i mean as long as they’re not “you’re not allowed” it shouldn’t really be a big deal, i don’t think it should matter if parents disapprove of someone’s choice in friends/partners unless tehy’re literally endangering them
Rogue 7
Speaking personally (I’m dating someone for the first time in forever and thinking about this)-
On the one hand, I definitely agree. Your parents shouldn’t have any bearing on who you see. They’re not entitled to that degree of presence in one’s life. On the other hand- my mom is one of the smartest people I know, and she has a wide-ranging group of people she’s friends with. If she doesn’t get along with my girlfriend, there’s going to be a reason, and that reason might be valid*. It’s the same reaction I would have if someone I’m dating didn’t get along with my friends.**
I used to be incapable of agreeing to do anything my mom suggested, largely because I lived at home and felt that she was way too controlling. Now that I’m in my own place, I still think she’s got some control issues, but we’ve largely established a healthier relationship. So *that* aspect- that disliking her will make me like her more *shouldn’t* apply.
I am prepared for the occasional passive-aggressive comment that expresses that she’s worried that I might not be happy with her if this relationship lasts, but she’s done that so much with regards to me being a teacher that I can basically ignore it lol.
* I sincerely doubt it’ll happen, because my girlfriend is, objectively, The Best.
** See aforementioned Best status for why I doubt this will happen.
Alex
My momma don’t like you, and she likes everyone.
Rogue 7
Us both having Danny gravatars makes this weird, my friend.
Suet
“Both of them get way ahead of themselves… and that is why they are meant to be together”
“And Expectation is neither of their middle name“
Kyrik Michalowski
i wish I could read the little hidden messages on my tablet.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
“That would be bad, genealogy-wise”
Kyrik Michalowski
Thank you very much, I appreciate it.
Viktoria
Honestly, that’s probably comforting for Sal in several ways. If there was potential for Danny’s parents to like her, she’d be expected to try to meet their expectations. But she’s not Dorothy. She will never be Dorothy, that’s an unobtainable goal(even Dorothy is only arguably Dorothy). So she will never measure up, but that means she’s free to focus on making Danny and herself happy, no one else. And that’s a better way to build a relationship.
Tan
I mean, not only are they automatically not going to approve of her, it’s going to be over something that has nothing to do with Sal herself. There is no actual negative judgment of Sal involved, just who she’s not. She doesn’t have to pass or fail on her own merits. She’s safe.
Vanessa
Yes, this automatic pre-disapproval seems pretty healthy. They won’t dislike her for the usual racism reason and won’t LIKE her just because of her parents’ status. Maybe Danny’s parents will turn out to not be bigots and will grow to appreciate a girlfriend who makes Danny happy over the long haul.
Needfuldoer
Seems like she might have been bracing to hear she’d be judged for her own attributes that she has no choice of or control over.
Yeet
Danny’s parents seem like they’d be a distressing amount of pressure for a partner, given how they seemed to think Dorothy (and then, briefly, Amber) was his good quality, singular.
Being someone else’s best quality is far too much to have dumped on you.
But, hey, at least interacting with Joe counts as far less authoritative practice on this count for Sal.
Nono
They probably had no small influence in Danny’s ‘maybe Dorothy will stay with me’ mindset at the start of the strip.
About 3 months away from them and his outlook is a lot healthier.
DailyBrad
Right.
Danny’s parents are no Naomi, or Ross, or Blaine, or Carol, or Linda, but even if they’re not one of the hated parents… they honestly are kind of terrible. Like, they are least seem redeemable, but they need to believe in their damn kid more and stop demeaning him.
Nevermaker
Dorothy mentioned earlier in the strip that his parents gave her a picture frame endorsing the virtues of marriage: I know the main reason she dumped him, but you’ve GOT to imagine that played a part in it.
Meagan
Eesh, that’s uncomfortable.
Nono
Dorothy didn’t specifically mention it was Danny’s parents though, she just said it was an ex boyfriend’s parents.
Could still have been them, but it’s not definite.
thejeff
Not 100%, but kind of a stretch to think it wasn’t. It fits them and they’d been dating a couple of years. The farther back you go and the younger Dorothy was the creepier it gets.
Inbar Fink
Dorothy did spesifiy that this mom called her “Treasure” (https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/prepaid/) which is what Sharon also called her (https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/wilcoxes/). So I think it’s pretty safe to say that’s that’s the mom she was talking about.
thejeff
That also specifies she was 16 and I seem to remember she’d been dating Danny for two years at the start when she was 18.
Which also means it was pretty early on in their relationship, making it even more awkward.
cmasta1992
Y’all are freshmen in college. Let’s just get to the Facebook official stage of dating first (am I showing my age with that being a relationship stage?)
Meagan
Yeah I don’t think that’s a thing anymore (though I am also of the age where it was). I don’t think TikTok has relationship status…does it?
zee
Its posting videos of yourself making out with an attractive person you claim is your boyfriend/step brother for clout
UrsulaDavina
Despite this Danny’s parents are still not the worst parent(s)and/or gaurdians probably not even in the top five( if thinking individual parental figures vs groupings).
Nono
Carol, Blaine, Ross, Linda, Charles? I guess Sir could displace Charles if we’re taking guardians into account.
Though I guess if we’re using LIVING parents/guardians…
Viktoria
Looking at parental pairs(counting based on the worst member of any pair of parents):
Amber’s dad
Becky’s dad
Joyce’s mom
(lots of space)
Ruth’s Sir
The Walkertons
Ethan’s parents
Danny’s parents
Joe’s parents
(everyone past this point is basically fine and I’m not sorting them, except Dina and Dorothy’s families are perfect and good)
So based on that, Sal barely makes the top 5 worst families(which should not be taken as an endorsement of her parents under any circumstances).
Also, new revelations/more presence for any of the ones other than the top 3 could easily swap the order. Specifically, I suspect Sal’s parent’s have done more to actively screw her up than Danny’s have, and have had more time disapproving of her than Ethan’s homophobic parents have, but both of those are easily arguable.
Leorale
I might put the space after Ruth’s sir (Clint), rather than before him. Hasn’t he been shown to terrorize Ruth, including by threatening Howard’s safety? He’s sneakier with adults, but he’s still a capital-A Abuser.
And maybe another space before Joe’s dad. Richard is a womanizer/cheater, plus he’s a blithe idiot about preventing future cheating — his selfish actions messed Joe up, but that’s not quite the same as directly attacking his kids’ sense of self-worth. And if you mean Stacey, Amber’s mom, she is kinda spacey and ineffective but she’s doing her best, plus she’s an abuse survivor who risked her life to get her kid away from Blaine, that’s a dang heroine.
BBCC
And all we know about Joe’s mom, Karen, is she used to gush over how proud she was of Joe on the phone because he was kind, courteous and liked to read philosophy. Aaaaand then puberty hit and she was worried because she saw a resemblance to his dad and can ya blame her?
Oh, and she dropped him off at orientation.
Needfuldoer
And that was a bonus strip, IIRC.
She hasn’t made an appearance in the main comic yet.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/karen
Needfuldoer
Wait, his mom is named Karen and his dad is named Richard…
But the Carpenters were siblings…
Opus the Poet
And Karen died of an eating disorder and helped push making eating disorders a thing that could be treated. We don’t know anything about Joe’s mom having an eating disorder.
thejeff
I’d probably put Clint above Carol even. I expect to see a full on villain arc with him at some point.
And not much of a gap between Carol and Linda. Naomi might be in that range, if we saw her more.
DailyBrad
I dunno about this, Naomi is honestly a truly horrible human being. I think if we saw her more often, she might beat out Linda, even.
Nono
True, Linda does (kinda) look out for her kids.
Naomi point blank said to Ethan he turned into a disappointment, told him to bang Joyce over and over, and then told Joyce she’d be easy.
Cerusee
Yeah. I mean, she didn’t kidnap Ethan at gunpoint to try to send him to straight camp, so she is de facto not as bad as Ross….but she’s still extremely homophobic! It’s not great!
BBCC
I’m not sure if it’d make things better or worse for Sal if Sharon did like her. Oh, sweetie.
Kyrik Michalowski
If Sharon did like her, I feel like Sal would be immediately suspicious of it.
“There’s gotta be a catch.”
Vanessa
It might only be because of her parents, apparently they are well-off and connected. Even Billies’ terrible frenemies are impressed by Wally’s parents. I’m sure they wouldn’t invite just any hot boy to join them.
anon
I mean, i never want kids, though in theory i wouldn’t have any issue with any of my kids friends unless they were unnecessarily rude to me or secretly a ‘friendly bully’ kinda person (though usually those types of ppl can’t coerce themselves all the way into another person’s house)
but i’d be polite/neutral and be liek “sure they can come over for dinner if it’s ok with their parents” but not necessarily go outta my way to befriend them/their parents
Marvelman
I like you, Sal!
Rainhat
On the flipside… the Walkertons’ opinion of Danny?
Viktoria
He’s white, middle-class, can pass for cishet, and is dorky enough to seem smart*. They’ll love him.
*the fact that he is moderately smart is irrelevant to whether or not he seems like it.