281

Familiar
Posted on September 14, 2014 by David M Willis

281 thoughts on “Familiar”

  1. Jen Aside

    Joyce is actually startled because there’s a naked Faz behind Amazi-Girl there.

    1. hoovy_woopeans

      talk about a risky click

      1. Farmer_10

        No, she’s just scandalized at the cavalcade of penii in everything Amazi-girl is saying.

        1. Brady Kj

          Penes.

        2. Anon

          Don’t know why, but cavalcade of penis sounded really like the ride of the valkyrie in my head.
          Now I’m imagining giant dongs rising from the sunset at the horizon, while the aforementioned piece plays.
          But it’s not the end, turns out that those Helidongters were actually disguised flying GAU 8, and they open fire on the poor Joyce as soon as they reach her, in a brrrrRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT of 30mm fast tiny dongs.
          All the while, Joyce is desperately shouting in a radio calling in god support, receiving no response.
          Is her god dead? Is the radio broken? Will instead Dorothy come in her support with her giant lesbian shield to stop all those assaulting dongs?? Only Willis can tell.

        3. Opus the Poet

          You’re warped. I like that in a person.

      2. Camachri

        Ladies~

        1. Van Jealous

          …and Gentlemen…..

        2. ATN

          …..boys and girls, children of all ages.

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          …Ew.

        4. Nogre

          That escalated quickly.

        5. Bibblebeater

          the threads dead baby, the threads dead.

        6. BizarWolf

          Not if I have anything to say about it!

    2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      I think Joyce is mostly startled by the memory of looking up what penes look like, suddenly popping back into her head uninvited. 😛

      She never should’ve started dicking about with that marker… xD

      1. Koms

        A hard habit to kick. You could get penalized for that.

  2. Echelon Four

    I know everyone is going say they called it, but I totally called it. Mostly. Close enough.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Yes you totally called it, you win an internet. 😉

    2. eromer

      Oh wow…..you really did call it….

      1. David Herbert

        How’d he get into Willis’ PC to read the story ahead?

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Your little grey cells must have been working well that day, I don;’t suppose that you have a Belgium accent, do ya?

      1. Doctor_Lantern

        I was so extremely happy to see a Hercule Poirot reference that I actually giddily squealed while bouncing in my chair at work… and I’m a guy…

      2. Kryss LaBryn

        :DDD Hercule! <3

      3. Opus the Poet

        For those unfamiliar, a Belgian accent in English is something of a cross between French and German if the Belgian in question was a Waloon speaker, or more French for the Francophone districts of Belgium. And I think I just non-gratuitously used Belgium in a post, do I get an award?

        1. TJ Baltimore

          I think that’s only if you use “Belgium” as a profanity.

        2. BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!

          And in a serious screenplay. When they make “Dumbing of Age Comments Section–The Movie” we’ll give you a call.

        3. Lel

          It’s funny because the nation of Belgium has no reason to exist.

        4. Opus the Poet

          Sure it does: Eddie Merckx, the Cannibal. Greatest bike racer that ever lived and born and raised in Belgium.

    4. Darth Cariss

      Yeah, as I was reading this, I was like “wow, this is pretty much exactly what that guy predicted”. Right on the money. This is of course assuming that this isn’t a red herring.

      1. Echelon Four

        I am a little worried that tomorrow we will find out it is something completely different and I look like an idiot.

        1. Jen Aside

          –when it turns out it was a little case of Unreliable Reader =p

          THE WHITEBOARD DINGDONG BANDIT WAS ALL OF US

        2. liahansen

          I’m still not convinced you were wrong about Ninja Rick!

        3. beege

          Look at the rejected strip idea on Willis’ tumblr that inspired this story arc. You called it, Mr Wolfe. (because he is the greatest of the armchair detectives and I totally read your earlier post in Maury Chaykin’s voice).

        4. Charlie Spencer

          A Nero Wolfe reference? That’s even better than Hercule Poirot, Archie.

        5. LittleMountain

          Until proven otherwise, you totally called it. No one can take that feeling away from you, right now.

        6. nothri

          Its still pretty badass that you figured out the red herring with such precision.

    5. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Called that Joyce was at least one of the culprits, or called the truth behind the Dingaling Bandit?

      Amazigirl finds ONE clue that points to this well after she gave Mike enough time to arrange such a find, especially after being tipped off that she was both investigating AND easy to manipulate, and she puts together a textbook whudunnit ending to make it all add up. Hardly a hole-free case.

    6. nothri

      Well, congrats, you are a super sleuth. All you need now is an opium habit and a former war medic to act as a foil for your genius and possibly to imply homoerotic sexual tensions between you two and your image shall be complete!

      1. Ivan

        Interesting! Probably even more so if I had any idea of the literary characterization you are referring to! Is it from a 1940s Bugs Bunny cartoon?

      2. JWLM

        Cocaine, Northri. Cocaine.

    7. halcyon1234

      And I totally called it that someone would totally call it: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/disown/#comment-283413

    8. Koms

      :O Amazing!!!

  3. An Average Loser

    Ah, I love a good ol’ Whodunnit.

    1. BizarWolf

      WhoDONGit you mean?

  4. Idon'tcarenomore

    Paints a convincing picture.

  5. JebJeb

    Well done Mike.

  6. Kris

    This is believably ridiculous.

  7. Tealjoy Berry

    Alright that’s some pretty heavy evidence can’t deny that

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Circumstantial. Unless Brown confesses, AG’s got nothing concrete; that stolen dry-erase marker isn’t terribly damning.

  8. addude

    I find it hard to believe that the children blocks aren’t on on Joyce’s phone

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Who needs children blocks when you have years of mental conditioning? Until quite recently, Joyce would never have even thought to look up such a thing on the internet, and even the suggestion of it would have appalled her?

      But just you watch. This is a slippery slope Joyce has started on. Now years later, Joyce will be a web cartoonist who occasionally even draws Slipshine porn comics of her beloved characters!

      1. Yotsuyasan

        (Whoops! Should have proof read. That first paragraph was supposed to end with an exclamation point rather than a question mark. Damn this lack of an edit feature!)

        1. Clif

          At least with no edit capability we aren’t now plagued with dozens of detailed correct predictions in past strips. And the one or two extremely impressive ultranear-misses in details are still impressive.

        2. Yotsuyasan

          Some comment systems I’ve had allow edits, for example, within five minutes of making your post. Perfect for, “Oh drat, look at that silly typo I’ve made,” and still prevents people from rewriting history as you seem to fear.

        3. Clif

          Fear? No. Hundreds of suddenly correct predictions would be hilarious.

  9. TheLurkerAbove

    World’s Greatest Detective – Batman vs Amazi-Girl face off!

    1. Pink Freud

      Now that is some outright peen sleuthing right there, Dorky Drew.

    2. Lawzlo

      Psh. Clearly Encyclopedia Brown is the world’s greatest detective.

      1. Jen Aside

        But Bugs Meany’s Gonna Walk

    3. Tunaro

      Somewhere right now, the BTAS theme just started playing and no one knows why.

    4. Darkflame

      Worlds Greatest Detective List:
      Sherlock Holmes
      Batman
      Monk.
      Amazing Girl

      Not bad being in the top 4 best. (or, at least, called best)

      1. Cybersnark

        But how many of those people are actually L?

        1. Ivan

          L? Lunatics?

  10. arank11

    DUN-DUN-DUNNNNN

    1. Lawzlo

      Duh-duh-duh-DUNT! snap! snap!

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Gazooks! She solved it!

  12. Opus the Poet

    Well, a lot of people got this one right down to the progression and the visual aids.

  13. Keroshino

    I still don’t think Joyce did it!!!

    1. Emperor Kiva

      I’m with you

    2. Kris

      I guess we can’t technically know until we see evidence or she admits it in another update. Quick Joyce plead the fifth then lawyer up!

      1. Jen Aside

        Quick, have Mike go around and fix all the boards so Amazi-Girl looks stupid accusing Joyce of drawing invisidicks

        1. Ivan

          Quick! Someone buy a Mr. Clean white sponge that remove marker even from white MacBooks! End this arc and return to Ethan homo-arcs!

          No… wait! Stay with this for 3 more semesters!!! DoA time, not IRL!!

    3. TJ Baltimore

      Same here

    4. isitsevenyet

      I was just going along with the “Joyce did it” bandwagon until this thread made me think. Mike is just enough of a jerk to go to all this trouble to frame someone for this, and we have to admit Joyce is an easy target.

    5. J-Debs

      Psst* Hey, look at this. http://itswalky.tumblr.com/image/97445227242

      1. Kris

        It’s a good thing no one saw that or you might actually have a case. Now if you’ll excuse me the defendant has no more time for baseless accusations.

      2. Keroshino

        Bah! Unless that becomes “Canon” I refuse to believe it is anything more than a funny “what if” scenario!!!

        1. Scott

          read the accompanying text.

  14. saltchocolate

    I love it! The smartphone in hand is a great touch.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      …is worth two in her bush. 😛

      1. Catullus

        She may want to work her way up to that.

      2. saltchocolate

        I salute you, Plasma!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I saw my chance and took it. 😀

        2. saltchocolate

          I count on you to do so!

        3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          And the gravatar makes it that much better.

      3. xKiv

        Even if somebody calls her??

      4. Roborat

        Somehow I suspect it would not fit.

  15. Jose231ful

    Dun dun dun

  16. Catullus

    If only Joyce had read any of those 5000 comments on how to erase a permanent marker…

    1. saltchocolate

      Grav + username = perfect match!

    2. Dorje Sylas

      Or had searched the Internet for how to remove it… instead of visual aids.

      1. isitsevenyet

        THIS. This is exactly what I was saying the other day, with Google at their disposal, I’m surprised all the vandalism is still there.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Panic is a strange and terrible thing.

        2. JWLM

          I think that Willis erased all the comments about how to erase permanent marker from whiteboards using toothpaste and basking soda.

  17. Hoboturtle

    Yes… that is totally why Joyce was looking up images of penises on her phone… No other reason at all…

    1. newllend

      And she didn’t do absolutely anything else with those pictures.

      1. Ess

        Tomorrow morning, Sarah can’t find her sterilised hairbrush anywhere.

  18. Kernanator

    And here’s our Sherlock moment!

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Nah, more of a House moment, I should think. While House may be based loosely on Sherlock Holmes, he does have to get it wrong once or twice first to draw out the drama over the length of an episode.

      Sherlock would have noticed all of the clues right away and pegged it as Joyce within minutes.

      (Please hurry and come, Series 4! Yes, I did miss you!)

      1. Clif

        But first … Christmas special. Yay!

        1. Yotsuyasan

          I don’t think so… I understand that they are filming some sort of special episode in January prior to the full three episodes of Series 4, but unless they have a time machine, I am hard pressed to see how an episode being filmed in January can be a Christmas special.

          Still, whatever this special episode is and whenever it is planned to air, I share your enthusiasm for there being an additional episode. So, as you say, “Yay!”

        2. JWLM

          That’s Christmas of 2015. After all, Season Four isn’t supposed to start until 2016.

        3. Clif

          What JWLM said.

  19. FinalFire64

    So, basically, Joyce looked at straight pornography and (as it stands right now) didn’t even break down in a fit of morality vs immorality?

    1. Aubri

      Could’ve been a Wiki.

    2. Camachri

      Desperate times call for desperate measures.

    3. Thomas

      I imagine she has some sort of christian porn-filter installed, so maybe she copied penises from a comparatively clean website. Just guessing.

    4. Darkflame

      It was an art/medical site, obviously.
      A medical site.
      A medical site.
      If she repeats it often enough it will be ok.

      1. 3oranges

        The idea of looking up anything like that on a medical site is terrifying. I don’t need to see everything that can go wrong down there, thank you.

  20. Boomwolf

    so beyond busted

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    Kinda makes sense in another way since Joyce is the only other Walkyverse character that has ever exhibited a second personality besides Amber.

  22. Tamar

    That is some impeckerable sleuthing, right there.

  23. HeinousActsZX

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3R8tkvlAlk
    The one who actually committed the crime… is you!
    No alibi, no justice, no dream, no hope!
    It’s time to pay for your crimes!
    TAKE THAT!

    1. anonymous

      Knew I had to click when I saw the “Take that!” at the end.
      Anybody else playing the PLvPW(AA) crossover? I skipped Dual Destinies and jumped to Layton. I’ve been waiting for Layton for a long time, but as far as AA:DD… I might be more willing to buy it if I didn’t have to figure out how DS download play works. It’s probably cheaper to just get it on your phone anyway.
      Phoenix Wright was my favorite video game series until I stumbled upon the Zero Escape trilogy. The series be pretty crazy.

      1. HeinousActsZX

        I can say with authority that Dual Destinies is Fantastic, much better than AJ:AA.
        Phoenix is back, Apollo has a point, and Athena (new character) is awesome.
        It’s really easy, and you might not think it’s worth a challenge, but the writing is as good as it’s ever been.
        If you liked the previous installments, you’ll love this one.

      2. clodia

        I’ve played through AA:DD and am toward the end of PLvPW. While I’m enjoying the latter, the former is the superior game. Hands down. (You buy credits from the store, then use credits to buy the game, as I recall.)
        It’s fitting but SO WEIRD to see Phoenix and Maya in the same game as Luke and Layton. It makes the character differences, plotting differences, (not to mention the character design differences) seem so drastic.

        1. anonymous

          Yeah, I see what you’re saying. It is kind of weird, but I can usually ignore it. (It looks like Luke’s design might have been copied from Phoenix, though…) I like that they made the more important characters in the realistic Phoenix Wright style. The voice acting was great… except for Phoenix’s, which is passable, and Maya’s, which is very disappointing. I do feel they might have gotten the shaft in this. But it’s been enjoyable. Even if it is more like a PL game, it has an AA vibe as well, and it’s nice to have Maya back. *shipping*
          I just began the trial in chapter 7 and I do have to say it was a bit obvious who was behind it the entire time.
          I played through the first trial in the DD demo and I was disappointed that they put Wendee Lee as a main character. Also had a brief thought that Apollo and Phoenix should switch voice actors. Not impressed by the trial itself but it is the Payne trial.
          I’ll get DD eventually, after I finish PLvPW. Were the trials more interesting? I’m sure they were more challenging, but were they more fun? I thought the mechanics in this game worked pretty well… I heard Gidget doesn’t add that much to the game.

        2. anonymous

          That was a reviewer though, no way to know how much an AA fan he is to begin with.
          Wendee Lee though… I may have to turn off the volume to imagine Athena as anything but shallow. As a fan of Pallas Athena this is unfortunate.

    2. CianM1301

      At that point, Joyce rips off her hair-revealing it to be a wig the whole time-and throws it at Amazi-Girl’s face.

  24. saltchocolate

    Here’s one more way that Joyce is autobiographical for Willis—she draws a mean dong! 😀

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Except that he was known as the Blackboard Cock-Cave Bandit.

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        The Overhead Projector conga-Curtain Bandit?

        1. Catullus

          The Clay Tablet Todger-Tapestry Bandit.

        2. Jen Aside

          The Papyrus Scroll Third Nipple Rapscallion

        3. Sageress

          The Cave Wall Taint Terrorist

        4. liahansen

          The Etch-A-Sketch Prostate Deviant

        5. TachyonCode

          The Lite-Brite Oyster-Pearl Menace

        6. Camachri

          The Slipshine Schlong Supervillain

  25. Winter

    As amusing as this conclusion is, that’s a lot of speculation Amazi-girl, and not a lot of evidence.

    1. saltchocolate

      Joyce’s panel 6 face is all the evidence I need.

      1. Winter

        Oh, there’s no doubt Joyce did it with that face, but Amazi-girl won’t be winning any prizes for sleuthing in my book. She was running on a lot of assumptions that had no concrete backing, so even though her intuition was correct and she struck gold this time, her logic is by no means foolproof.

        1. Icalasari

          Fewer leaps of logic than Batman

        2. anonymous

          Even circumstantial cases get criminals locked up.
          (Sometimes innocents as well, but mostly criminals)

        3. 3oranges

          Sometimes sleuthing can mean spelling out a hunch, and seeing how the accused reacts. It’s been done from Hamlet to Horatio.

        4. isitsevenyet

          This is true. Even Sherlock Holmes relied on that method from time to time, IIRC.

        5. Kryss LaBryn

          Matlock seemed to rely on it pretty much all the time, as I recall.

      2. Marc in MN

        The subject matter of the confrontation alone would probably be enough to cause that expression. It wouldn’t necessarily be guilt.

        But yeah, she’s probably did it. Although I will laugh if Willis is faking so many people out right now and it turns out to be someone else.

        Everyone does seem to be very generous in their instant faith in Amazi-Girl’s sleuthing abilities. 😉

        1. Opus the Poet

          I’m still hoping for Agatha, or That Girl No One Ever Sees. Except Ruth. Ruth has totally seen her and talked to her about her crippling social anxiety…

    2. Taigan

      Which is why she’ll next insist on searching Joyce’s phone browser history to se if she’s been looking up dick pics.

      1. Catullus

        That’s actually a good plan; Joyce is the last person I’d expect to know how to clear her history.

    3. TheZachariah

      Willis has kind ofspelled it out now.

      1. Kai

        Oh, come on! Does anybody believe Joyce will come back to her room late at night?

    4. Charlie Spencer

      Jessica Fletcher stayed on the tube for years with less evidence and more assumptions that this.

      Although ‘Stayed on the tube’ is probably not a good phrase to use in this crowd.

      1. Ntrovert60

        Heh.

      2. John

        I’m still convinced that the reason Jessica Fletcher’s explanations were always short on evidence and long on assumptions was that they were all framejobs to cover up her own guilt. She’s a writer, not a homicide detective or the like that would have her being called in in a legitimate official capacity after the fact, yet, every week for more than a decade, everywhere the woman goes, whether that’s on vacation to exotic places or just hanging around her sleepy New England town, someone is murdered. And we’re supposed to believe that this is a coincidence?

  26. timemonkey

    It was a crime of passion, a misdeed born from her undying love of Dorothy! XD

  27. Lokitsu

    If Joyce is autobiographical, then does that mean that mean Willis started cartooning by drawing whiteboard dingdongs?

    1. alicemacher

      Given that he’s known to have started cartooning as a young boy, I could believe it.

  28. newllend

    Mike is at the root of every conspiracy !

  29. Taigan

    Hmm… . The evidence will have to be whether Joyce’s phone browser history has pictures of cocks on it. Plausible, yet unsatisfying. I dunno. This could very well be the end, but I can’t help but feel a sense of red-herring-ness to this explination.

    1. JebJeb

      Either way I doubt she’d find anything on her phone. Assuming she’s right I sincerely doubt Joyce is the kind of person to leave something as “embarrassing” as that in her history so she’d likely clear her history soon after finishing.

      1. Maxy

        Does Joyce even know how? She doesn’t seem like the person who would need to or even the person to have ever looked that up.

    2. newllend

      To be fair 2/3 of everyone has porn in image gallery.

  30. Heavensrun

    CALLED IT.

    1. Clif

      And early on. But not in enough detail to be truly impressive.

  31. William-Isaac

    Wow, that’s some real Nancy Drew work ya did there….Nancy.

    1. AgentKeen

      Just go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that, Dorothy.

  32. Yoohoo

    Makes sense (though I’m still trying to figure out how Amber linked what said two strips ago to Joyce when she doesn’t know her well….. Or like Ethan’s gayness, does everyone know know Joyce has a lustful urge that’s begging to come out?). I like that there’s no dark Joyce sleepwalking her lustful urges out….. But like another commenter said, it all still feels like a red herring.

    1. Kai

      I don’t care about red herrings if we are witnessing Joyce’s lustful urges coming out.

  33. AgentKeen

    I was going along with it until the part where she looked up visual reference. I have a very hard time buying that bit.

    If it is true, now Joyce knows what Ethan’s thingie should look like when he rubs it against her tummy in her dreams.

    1. Jen Aside

      She asked if it was FAMILIAR, not necessarily EXACT.

      1. Jen Aside

        ah, poop, I forgot to close tag X/

    2. anonymous

      You’re right, she wouldn’t have looked up a reference on the internet. She copied Sarah’s most realistic vibrator.

      1. Blue

        She did google ‘strap on’ though, which could have produced some rather realistic images.

        Assuming she wasn’t so embarrassed she managed to erase the image from her mind.

        1. Jaxx Sentinel

          well if she did , that works out as well, considering we have yet to rule out Joyce subconsciously doing it in her sleep

  34. NF

    GAME, SET, AND MATCH!

  35. liahansen

    Huh. I’m surprised to find out it wasn’t an unconscious, repressed desires thing like everyone was theorizing. I guess this is probably a lot more realistic.

  36. TheOtherDibbler

    I’m just going to sit here and savour the image of Joyce looking up dick pictures on her phone. THAT would have been an education – assuming Amber’s theory is correct, of course.

    1. TheOtherDibbler

      I retract that last clause – I just saw the blog post about how the storyline was born. Joyce accelerating from ‘ew penises’ to frantically looking up what they look like is hilarious. I bet her panic temporarily outweighed her ability to think about the fact that she was looking up photos of dicks.

  37. Izumi Ryu

    This is probably where Mary comes out of nowhere and throws Joyce under a bus… (figuratively of course.)

  38. Chupacabraconvoy

    So the net total of Joyce’s punishment is either reimbursing everyone for a new whiteboard or does the campus really frown upon on such vandalism?

    1. C2

      You know, a running gag with these comments has been re-tracing dongs with dry-erase markers. It could be as simple as that.

  39. Wizard

    Everyone seems to be forgetting Joyce’s strap-on research. She described as “a sparkly man-dangle on a belt”, which suggests that she had at least some idea what a ” man-dangle” looks like.

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      well, she had an idea before that if you remember her nightmare sequence a while back (crude, but an idea ) plus I would hope her parents let her go to sex ed

      1. Usayasha

        Knowing the type that her parents might be, I suspect that she went to abstinence only sex ed. Which wouldn’t show any anatomy that wasn’t covered in pus, boils, warts, and other possibly sexually transmitted things.

  40. Matt

    So anyone else hope joyce drops a cage on amazing girl. and then activates some overly complex death trap while she monologues some over the top plan to draw penises all over campus.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Now that you mention it, yes. Joyce will now don power armor and a hooded cape and declare herself, “Doctor Dick, Lord of IU”.

      “Curses, Amazi-Girl! You have foiled me … this time. But my vengeance shall be horrific! So swears Doctor Dick!”

      1. John

        “Doctor Dick” is already taken. That’s Joe’s dad.

        1. ninja_jesus

          The Dicktress, then.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          You are correct. Richard Rosenthal, the BOOOONE Doctor!

          We can use ninja_jesus’ suggestion. Or Joyce can go around as “Penis Girl” with a costume that has a boob window AND a strap-on to confuse the hell out of the onlookers.

  41. Tunaro

    So this makes Joyce, what, her Joker? Two-Face? Joe Chill?

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      at best Calendar Man

    2. Kamino Neko

      Random Mugger #384.

  42. metaceryn

    Be nice to her, Amazi-Girl, it’s the first time she’s sealed the deal with anything.

    1. Opus the Poet

      I don’t know about that, she appeared to “seal the deal” quite effectively with Danny just a couple of strips ago.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        …read his comment again. He was referring to Joyce.

  43. Ridureyu

    And now Amaz-Girl beats her up just like all of the other “criminals,” right?

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      nah, maybe a light spanking? Joyce would go down like a wet napkin

      1. Camachri

        But we -just had- a slipshine.

      2. John

        Only for Dorothy.

        And Sal.

        And maybe Billie…

  44. NinjaNick

    I wonder what the punishment will be. 😛

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      making her watch porn seems to be fair as The Sound of Music has the opposite effect on the likes of her

      1. Emperor Kiva

        You’re an idiot you know that

    2. Deanatay

      Make her pay for replacing the damaged whiteboards, no doubt, or threaten to reveal her treachery to the public. The threat of a damaged reputation would probably scare Joyce more than any suit the students could bring against her.

    3. xKiv

      Make her draw (over) them again, in dry-erase marker?

  45. kitschensyngk

    Not only doodling penises, but also looking up pictures of them on her phone.

    A strangely adorable way to lose one’s innocence.

  46. Spongegirl Circleskirt

    Duh duh duuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn!

    1. Deanatay

      Dirty Deeds (your mom)
      Done Dirt Cheap (a nickel)

  47. Lanval

    The main thing I got out of this comic is that Mike should get business cards:

    Mike: Known Asshole.

    Mothers Fucked. Nickels Obtained.
    PN: 555-1234

  48. Jeeves

    Haha, flashback description of the crime, that’s some “Murder, She Wrote” right there.

    Or rather, “Boner, She Drew”

  49. Foxhack

    I don’t buy it.

    Mostly because Joyce isn’t very good at lying, and the way she acted all outraged at the beginning of the storyline is too much for her current lying abilities.

    1. Foxhack

      Also I’m probably going to be proven wrong tomorrow and that’s fine, but I don’t believe it’s her and will continue to do so until Willis shows the undeniable evidence and my soul is ripped apart in anguish.

      I still think it’s that looney that got smacked with a hand and got a penis impression in her cheek.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Me too

      2. Kerry

        you’re already proven wrong by this post

    2. Kathleen

      I think when faced with the penii on doors the next day, Joyce went into hysterical bad-acting. “WHO could have done this?!?” The problem is people expect Joyce to freak out wildly over this stuff.

      I taught some eight year olds how to play BS and their faces twisted into such outrageous faces I thought “surely they are double bluffing!” But no. They just had not learned that you’re supposed to lie with subtlety so the end result was that it was so bad it was good.

    3. Tenn

      “the way she acted all outraged at the beginning of the storyline is too much for her current lying abilities.”

      Yes. That’s why her acting was so incredibly obvious. The only way she could have been more obvious would have been to say “Oh, and by the way, it definitely wasn’t me! Did I mention it wasn’t me?”

  50. maxyai

    Faz let me down! I feel like making a chart to show everyone how disappointed I am that he is not the bandit.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Faz is till tied up and duct-taped in Ruth’s closet. Just in case she needs him for “something”. Faz is way into that.

      1. Clif

        This is now my official belief until proved otherwise.

  51. tinfoil theory

    Some days you just can’t get rid of a drawing of a ding-dong.

  52. Kennerly

    I want Joyce’s face in panel 2 to be my gravatar!

  53. Rufus Saltus

    “Now take this rag and this denatured alcohol and go and clean off those whiteboards. And deal with those issues of sexual repression while your at it!”

  54. Vree

    Please never write mystery novels, Willis.

  55. OpticianOfUrza

    A couple of things don’t add up for me, and one of them uses knowledge outside of the strip, so I’ll put that second.

    I’m not sure I buy the idea of Joyce looking up reference material. It seems like it would make her feel so guilty that she’d just confess to the whole thing rather than let an investigation play out.

    Also, why is Walky tagged in this comic? Is that his dingdong? If so, who is the only character to have seen his erect (several people saw it flaccid when he didn’t realise he was out of his pants a while ago) dingdong? Dorothy.

    1. Keisha

      Walky’s in the third panel behind Amazi-Girl.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Dammit!

      2. OpticianOfUrza

        Good eye, hypothesis withdrawn.

    2. Emperor Kiva

      Hey, you’re right. YOU ARE AWESOME!

  56. Lonas

    Derp derp deeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrp!

  57. San

    Dude, if you draw something bad just draw a black box over the whole thing.

    Check it out. Amazi-Girl just spilled the beans that Sarah says mean things about Joyce behind her back.

  58. James Rye

    Rendering, first time ever I read that kinda word for dicks. XD

  59. Saru

    Can this please for once be the less tropey version where this crazy string of sherlock-esque logic is very nice to think about, but completely disconnected from reality?

  60. Pyr05

    Dun dun duuuuuunnnnnnnnnn

  61. Thomas

    Durable dingdong on Dorothy’s door denotes Joyce as delinquent? I mean, why would drawing more penises disperse suspicion from Joyce? Unless her first doodle unmistakably translates as the raging lady-boner Joyce sports for Dorothy. It’s kinda cute. 🙂

    Also, what happened to the permanent marker? Has it been found? To make this work, Joyce must have replaced the dry-erase marker Mike stole with a new dry-erase marker under her own board.

    1. Trisar

      The idea was to disperse suspicion away from Dorothy, not from Joyce herself, according to Amazi-Girl’s accusation. The idea being that, in AG’s reconstruction of the events, Joyce would think that Dorothy would receive the blame for the drawing on her room’s whiteboard if hers were the only one to have it.

      1. Mrak

        That’s not my reading. I take “Everyone knows how much you love Dorothy” as being an indication that aspersions would be cast on the lover, not on the beloved.

        1. Slinx

          I think it is less to cast suspicion away from either of them and more to save Dorothy the embarrassment of being the only person with a permanent dong on her whiteboard.

    2. Joe

      Why would Joyce use her marker to write on Dorothy’s board?
      Why didn’t Joyce notice that her marker was now a different one?
      How did it happen that Joyce, a day person, was up so late/early that no one else caught her while drawing on so many boards? (Perhaps it was Sunday morning?)
      It’s funny that, instead of taking down the board to go clean it in private or replace it, she chose to escalate. I wouldn’t expect that of Joyce Brown.

      1. tinfoil theory

        So she snapped and drew like a billion dicks.

  62. acher4

    Ohhh, that actually makes sense.

    Poor, poor Joyce.

  63. Bloke

    I doubt it’s Joyce. Despite the sound argument Amazigirl does, I don’t buy it.

  64. Clif

    Echelon Four is a time traveler. We now have proof positive.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/smokinggun/#comment-274866

    1. xKiv

      To 2.5 months in the past, when Willis drew (and lettered) this?

  65. Clif

    Opinion question: Does this turn of events increase or decrease your respect for Joyce???

    1. Slinx

      Decrease, because vandalism and panic induced by the prospect of taking responsibility for her actions.

    2. Emperor Kiva

      It does neither

    3. Stevilicious

      It proves I was true in thinking I couldn’t think less of Joyce.

    4. Disloyal Subject

      No change. I am unsurprised, though disappointed in her for panicking and not stopping to use reason – she could easily have looked up how to purge whiteboards of Sharpie ink on that phone of hers.

    5. saltchocolate

      It makes me sorry for her.

  66. Mrak

    You know what, I’m a little surprised Amazi-girl called her on it. Given the lack of intent, where’s the harm? Why go all j’accuse on her?

    On Mike, on the other hand…

    1. timemonkey

      Just be happy she hasn’t started hitting yet. Remember when she had to talk herself out of attacking Billie for under aged drinking?

    2. Gigafreak

      Well, Joyce WAS the one to demand that the culprit’s identity be revealed. Amazi-Girl is just giving Joyce exactly what she asked for.

  67. Tom T.

    Does Joyce actually have a smartphone?

    1. Taigan

      Look at the first panel of the last comic.

  68. Lume

    :'(

  69. David

    So Joyce, this time you were able to use the Internet to escape detection. But the Internet will not help you when the crucial question is how a penis smells. But fear not, I can offer you a sampler…

    No. No, I think I better let Mr Willis continue writing his scripts without my help.

    1. Slinx

      Knowledge is power. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2780

      1. Opus the Poet

        I think Jeph took a cue from Willis on this one, they have been known to collaborate on more than one occasion.

  70. Doc Harleen

    Last panel Joyce is beyond adorable.

  71. Brainstone

    The slipshine banner for Danny/Amber kinda throws me off. I have nothing against the slipshine, but I just think the image of Danny licking Ambers underwear visually hurts the site appearance. I mean: When you go to a website and the ads show erotic content, you instantly know it’s not a quality site. It’s also strange to read a comic, which is PG-13 all it’s way through (if you don’t read the slipshine) and suddenly there’s this picture. Just a strange feeling I get. The Walky/Dorothy was much less aggressive. Don’t know… Are there peolpe who think the same or different?

    1. timemonkey

      Thinking erotic content makes a site not quality is kind of a snobby attitude. There’s nothing wrong with erotisism or erotic artwork.

      1. Brainstone

        Of course erotic content can be of high quality, but this site is a comic site and the ad is misplaced in my opinion. For example, I would feel uneasy to introduce this comic to my parents now. By “quality” I meant the following: Imagine you are visiting two new, unknown internet sites. One has normal ads, the other has ads in the category of “hot sexy singles in your area”, penis enlargement, etc. The second site CAN be a lot better than the first one, but the first impression is ruined. That’s my point. It now looks as if explicit sex were a reoccuring visual trait of this comic.

      2. Stevilicious

        I think it depends. Does the porn ad fit the individual site? The slipshine ad doesn’t get noticed by me since it fits so well. Young protectors, which has G rated sex and no side stories for hardcore, is brought down when I see ads for explicits ex stories since it doesn’t fit at all…

        1. Cephalo the Pod

          It helps that the exhibited erotic content in question is based on the comic on this site.

    2. David M Willis

      This is interesting because I think the new ad is LESS aggressive than the Walky/Dorothy one. The new one’s devoid of all primary and secondary sexual characteristics, while the old one had some pretty highlighted cleavage-fondling. At its worst the new image has a man’s face placed somewhere near a completely clothed woman buried further within a jumpsuit.

      i guess i could make it boobs again

      1. Yoohoo

        Boobies, boobies, boobies.

    3. Kryss LaBryn

      I honestly hadn’t noticed that it changed.

  72. Slinx

    This does mean Joyce looked up penis pictures or drawings on her phone. The horror!

  73. Chiatroll

    So it was mike right? I could see him going through that kind of effort and detail to set up a frame.

  74. Adork

    If this is the case I feel very sorry for Joyce, if she googled what a penis looks like just think of all of the traumatizing porn she might have seen before realizing she should have just wikied it.

  75. Sam

    So…what will AmaziGirl do now that she has caught the bandit? What punishment has she in store for Joyce?

    1. David

      Well, more of the same:

      See Me
      Feel Me
      Touch Me
      Heal Me
      Listening to you, I get the music
      Gazing at you, I get the heat
      Following you, I climb the mountain
      I get excitement at your feet

    2. hack

      joyce shall be force to wear… THE SCARLET WANG.

  76. Emperor Kiva

    Amber, shut up.

    1. Keroshino

      Yes! Do shut up!

  77. Opus the Poet

    And now Joyce has to tell Ethan that she looked at tons of peener pictures without asking if any were his…

    1. Sam

      Another thing that they can do together. Look at peeners online…match made in heaven, clearly.

  78. nothri

    Your detective skills are amazing, girl! How did you…oh right.

    1. Maveric1984

      Orgasms are amazing

  79. Tenn

    There. Are still. People. Who don’t. Think. It was Joyce.

    *grooooooooaaaan*

    I forgot that this is the readership that will disbelieve the bleeding obvious even after it’s been explicitly confirmed by Word of God multiple times.

    1. 3oranges

      In this comic we see Joyce being falsely accused by cleverly-disguised Sal, just like she had falsely accused her parents of being racially biased.
      /s

      1. Clif

        After all, Willis just creates the strip. That doesn’t mean he has any idea what’s really going on. 😛

  80. Starscreamer

    All pretty circumstantial as was said before. Not to say it’s false…but circumstantial unless you get a confession. Granted, this isn’t a court of law but just saying. Knowing Joyce though, if it is true, that confession will occur.

    1. Sam

      It is true. Willis confirmed it on his tumblr.

  81. Yoohoo

    The tumblr post/explanation helps, but it just still feels all very circumstantial. If I were Joyce, I’d ask for some evidence. Because as someone said, she gave Mike ample time to tamper with the scene of the crime, the logic Joyce would risk drawing more dongs instead of searching how to erase perm marker (which if anyone caught her, she could USE the “bestest best friend” excuse) doesn’t feel right, let alone SOUND the least bit logical, even in a panicked situation; and the motive… Sucks too. Dorothy would’ve thought some Rando did it – drawing tons of dicks made it a bigger issue than it would’ve been if Joyce had left it alone.

    And then Willis said he was surprised at all the accusations at Ethan? Come on, having Amber say things like, “coming out”, and disowning a part of yourself you don’t like? Who wouldn’t think Ethan?

    1. timemonkey

      It doesn’t really matter if the evidence is circumstantial, Amazi-Girl has no legal authority over Joyce. She’s just an unstable young woman in a costume.

      Ethan’s never really disowned his gayness, he still identifies as gay and his stated agenda is to reclaim control over his image. Ethan has responded positively to every instance of a guy apparently flirting with him, it just hasn’t gone anywhere yet.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        You’re right, but Amber could call attention to it.

      2. Sam

        Ethan WANTS to disown his gayness. He hasnt been successful, cause that’s something no one can be successful at.

        1. Clif

          I think that’s a misperception. Ethan was pretty consistent that what he wanted was to be known for himself, not as being defined only by his gayness. He’s not privately disowning it, only publicly. There’s a critical distinction.

        2. Nogre

          He views being gay as incompatible with the east of his identity and a disappointment to his parents. He also thinks ignoring his sexual needs and acting straight is in control while pursuing them as out of control. None of this is compatible with him still privately being gay. He may have to deal with his feelings regardless of how he acts, but that doesn’t mean there’s some hidden level of acceptance. Things would have to change drastically for him to really respond to a man being interested in him.

          Also, it really doesn’t matter how you slice it. None of this is healthy for him, and I can’t wait for him to move past it.

  82. Aris Katsaris

    …you know, Joyce, you could have just doodled *over* the penis, so that it no longer looked like a penis, and then just apologized to Dorothy for your mistake of using a permanent marker…?

  83. DarkoNeko

    …and there I was certain it was Danny.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.