181

You’re
Posted on March 21, 2013 by David M Willis
Here's a giant angry Amber panel. And I think Wack'd would be happy if I mentioned that folks are currently in #dumbingofage on webchat.nightstar.net discussing stuff.

181 thoughts on “You’re”

  1. asdsadas

    I want to start say “flying fuck”

    1. NCP19

      Seconded, it’s super effective against fighting fucks after all.

      1. Yotomoe

        Not only that but Ground fucks don’t affect it at all.

        1. timemonkey

          Doesn’t stand a chance against rocky, electric or frozen fucks though.

        2. Wonder Wig

          But everyone’s trying to catch those legendary fucks.

        3. GoldStarz

          Doesn’t matter as long as your fucks are strong enough

        4. Yotomoe

          I’ve got a well rounded team of fucks.

        5. Wonder Wig

          Sometimes I have too many fucks and I have to give one to the professor.

        6. Kernanator

          I’ve been playing with fucks since I was eight years old.

        7. Astro

          That’s weird. I never give a fuck.

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          Thread uses POTTYMOUTH
          It is super popular.

        9. Krogaladin

          my fucks have the best natures.

        10. nothri

          Yeah, everytime team rocket shows up to steal from me, my response is always “Look at all the fucks I have to give!”

          The answer is zero.

        11. Pie

          My fucks are in the top percentage of fucks!

        12. N0083rP00F

          So is everyone going to Fucks college?
          ie Fuck U

        13. Roborat

          I really love this thread. you guys are awesome.

        14. CrazyPete

          Yeah mike gives a fuck…. to your mom….for a nickel

        15. Ikaru

          Does that mean you have to use ‘fuckballs’ to catch all the fucks?

        16. Led

          Well you know what they say, “Gotta fuck ’em all.”

        17. tahrey

          Don’t forget the Shiny Fucks

        18. dcmeserve

          Holy electric frozen fuck, Batman!

        19. Usayasha

          I’d hate to see a Flying Fuck go up against a Stone Cold Fuck, that’d be some pretty one-sided fuckery.

        20. Plasma Mongoose

          Gotta Fuck ‘Em All

        21. bobjohnsonandthediglets

          fuck uses give. its super effective

    2. Kelly

      I already do! Great phrase.

      I wonder if it is regional?

      1. Troqu

        I don’t know but people here in Washington state seem to know it and I’m from the Midwest.

        1. Kelly

          I am in WA as well, out of MT but I have noticed I ended up with a lot of Midwest language. Odd since my dad is from TN and my mom was from CA/OR/AK.

      2. kiapdx

        I doubt it. I think willis is east coast, but I’m in NW and I say it, so…

      3. HLY

        I dunno. I hear it fairly often on this side of the pond

        1. tahrey

          It’s definitely transatlantic. Pretty common over in UK, but also it was the name of the spaceship in the infamous cruddy (and American) spoof-porno Flesh Gordon…

        2. phlebas

          Mm. I don’t recall hearing it in the context of a ‘what the’ rather than an ‘I don’t give a’, though.

      4. JCfromNC

        I dunno about regional, I’m in NC and I’ve heard it/used it for decades.

      5. Jenna

        I hear it all the time when I’m home in BC, but I’ve yet to hear it in Newfoundland.

    3. Skull025

      IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE. TAKE THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeqJpcSjK8g

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I wonder how many fucking batteries does it take?

        1. Skull025

          I don’t know, but when you get to the Water Temple, you better hope to every fucking deity out there you have enough.

        2. JustDucky

          It requires six fucking AA batteries. Not included.

          http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b527/?pfm=Search&t=flying%20f%2Ack%20r%2Fc%20helicopter

      2. xKiv

        IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE. TAKE THIS: Boot to the head!

    4. Archtus

      I still say ‘frothing fuck’.

    5. Wonder Wig

      But what is the air speed of an unladen fuck?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It depends on the size of the coconut it was carrying.

      2. Usayasha

        That depends, Flying or Falling With Style?

      3. James

        What do mean? an african or european Fuck?

    6. Segus

      Or the slightly more sophisticated version of the expression; aviating intercourse.

      As a sophisticated individual, I prefer the latter.

    7. Cronomatt

      Don’t you mean, flying ‘feather’?

      Its Amber afterall.

  2. Jen Aside

    …A TOY COLLECTOR???

    wait I think she does

    1. Jen Aside

      For those in the know

      JERKWAD

      1. Someone

        No you’ve lost us.

  3. Sensedog

    Both Amber faces in this comic will clearly make excellent gravatars.

    1. Kelly

      Amber SMASH!

    2. SUGauthor

      The four panels in the middle would too.

  4. licoricepencil

    I don’t think that’s Joyce looking confused. I think that’s her looking angry that the horrible f-word is being tossed around with abandon.

    1. Wack'd

      It’s not being tossed, it’s flying of its own accord!

      1. Yotomoe

        That’s not Flying it’s falling with style!

    2. NCP19

      Reckless abandon even!

    3. Wonder Wig

      I remember when it was summer, my dad and I would go outside and toss the old fuck skin around. Oh the good times we had.

      1. SUGauthor

        Odd, it seems to me he would only toss that around with your mom.

        1. John

          Usually, but she was busy with Mike.

  5. Uniqueantique

    Good Girl Amber.

  6. Count Dracula

    Amber comes in shouting and cussing, and the reaction faces are mostly disinterested confusion. Even Joyce doesn’t seem particularly freaked out.

    1. Kernanator

      It’s Dull Surprise!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Dull Surprise: A cheap knockoff of Kinder Surprise.

        1. N0083rP00F

          And contains stickers or temporary tattoos as prizes.

  7. Yotomoe

    “Does she know you’re a giant toy geek? Because there’s no way you could get a chick that hot if she did!”

  8. Wonder Wig

    I like the “Let It Be” album cover going on with the 4 small panels there. I ship Walky and Dina just as much as I ship John and Paul.

    1. Kelly

      I LOL’d

  9. otusasio451

    This is how you die, Ethan. THIS IS HOW YOU DIE.

    1. Yotomoe

      Is this how you thought it would end, Ethan?

    2. JetstreamGW

      This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

      1. Krogaladin

        you could say that’s how most of Ethan’s dates end.

        1. |Agent

          Ba-dum-tshsss

  10. Wack'd

    Amber is handling this bizarrely well. Better, I think, than most folks ’round these parts were expecting.

    1. Ragnal

      The fact she decided NOT to openly tell the rest of the party he’s gay publically and dealing with it in private is, admittedly, a twist in my mind. But reasonably understandable.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        She doesn’t want to be accused of being a homophone after all.

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Plasma, I thought it had to do with the fact that Amber defended Ethan after is was public that he was gay, so she understands that he may be doing this to fit it.

          Also she since she saw and consoled the suffering he went through when he was outted last time, that she couldn’t bear to do it again.

          I mean clearly this didn’t go through her head at first but as some things processed, and she got another couple spot checks and will rolls, she realized he must have his reasons.

      2. Gordon

        It’s also the only way to handle it without being a dick.

        Outing someone is never okay.

        1. TJ Baltimore

          It has been argued (perhaps most notably by Dan Savage) that outing someone may possibly be OK if they are a socially conservative politician voting for anti-gay legislation.

          And what about gay cheaters? For example, a man cheating on his girlfriend/wife with another man? If the cheating itself should be exposed for the sake of his girlfriend/wife, should the gay part be protected? I don’t know . . . cheating is heinous enough that I’m not sure I believe he shouldn’t be outed.

        2. Gordon

          Dan Savage is kind of a racist, transphobic asshole.

          Admittedly, my blanket statement was, as such statements tend to be, a bit too big to comfortably fit the issue.

  11. lifefire

    I wanted her to out him… 🙁

    as mean as that sounds

    1. Yotomoe

      There was a time where Amber wanted him to in her.

      1. collythewolly

        OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      2. Kernanator

        …Well played.

      3. lifefire

        …not bad, not bad at all

    2. guavajagular

      pro tip: You should never out someone without their consent. Amber’s doing the right thing. Plus, now there won’t be any witnesses to Ethan’s murder.

      1. SUGauthor

        Lesson learned. Outing someone is never ok, but murder is fine if there aren’t witnesses.

        1. timemonkey

          The common factor in both these statements: nobody finds out.

    3. Archtus

      Gotta say I’m glad she didn’t. I’d kill any one who outed me…

      1. TJ Baltimore

        It sucks if it happens to you (personal experience), but afterwards . . . you’re like, “Huh, that wasn’t so bad after all, and my life is now better because of it.”

        1. Yotomoe

          Or maybe it’s much worse now. It doesn’t always get better.

    4. Plasma Mongoose

      She’s making him go outside… so that sort of counts, right?

  12. Regalli

    Oh, Amber. Don’t worry about causing a ruckus. CAUSE THE RUCKUS. CAUSE THE RUCKUS ALL YOU WANT! *Laughs maniacally back into the corner*

    1. Khrene Cleaver

      Oh know… MarkyJoe1990’s creation has come to fruition… It’s… IT’S… EVIL LYNDIS!!!

      1. Regalli

        Changing me to a magic user? Pathetic. I kill with a sword. I like to watch my foes die up close.

        (That was very amusing.)

  13. JebJeb

    Surprised she didn’t just drag his ass back out of the closet in front of everyone.

  14. Null Set

    Jeeze Amber, you almost blew the cover off his secret Amazigirl identity.

    1. Yotomoe

      Actually Ethan is secretly Sal who is Secretly Amazi-girl.

  15. agentksilver

    ….huh. That was possibly courteous?

    1. Resne

      It was surprisingly courteous.

  16. timemonkey

    Amber displays excellent control. Ethan’s got some splainin’ to dfo.

  17. Wack'd

    Incidentally, we have an IRC chatroom for real-time discussions! Join us, won’t you, at #dumbingofage on webchat.nightstar.net!

    1. Kelly

      Man, I really need a proper long term IRC setup…

      Irssi is nice, but maybe I should try weechat. Definitely need to run them on my server this time.

      Maybe I will join you within the next week, depending

      1. David

        Man, I’ve been using the same copy of mIRC since like 1995. ….so old…

      2. vlademir1

        Irssi is great for building chat bots in. I like Chatzilla as an easy, general use IRC solution however, since it’s just a Firefox plugin.

        1. Kelly

          I never used irc till the start of the Chatzilla era (between 1999-2001?) (not young, just a late bloomer). Chatzilla is great for casual use, and is built-in in Mozilla/SeaMonkey.

          Even then though, I just used it a bit here and there for specific things (like troubleshooting Mozilla on their channel) till a few years ago with irssi. But then I fell out of that habit…

  18. collythewolly

    At first, I didn’t really get why Amber was so pissed about this situation. But now I think after all Amber’s done to help Ethan in coming out and dealing with the aftermath, it’s really not fair of him to ignore all of her efforts and pretend anymore.

    Shred ‘im, Amber.

    1. Kelly

      She is pissed because a) the help she gave, as you said b) what he is doing to Joyce and c) probably pissed of at a more instinctive level, even though she is dating Danny now

      1. Gordon

        No, Amazigirl is dating Danny.

        Danny and Amber are just friends.

        And this isn’t a joke about Amazigirl’s identity. It’s the literal truth.

        And it will be as long as her secret identity remains a secret.

        1. Kelly

          depends on what semantic games you want to play 😉

  19. ridtom

    ” …….you’re Spider-Car!”

    “GASP!”
    “OH MY!”
    “ROAR!?”
    *Walky faints/swoons*

  20. Kafloobop

    In that second to last panel she looks like she’s about to drop a heavy f-bomb.

  21. Aeron

    I checked the comments just to see who would make that panel an avatar. I’m very disappointed in all of you.

    1. collythewolly

      Willis even put a super-huge speechless version on his tumblr! I’d do it if not for… you know, mirrored sunglasses and stuff.

    2. Kernanator

      I’d do it, but the Condom Cap won’t let me.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Well it has become an important part of your identity.

        1. Kernanator

          At this point, changing it to anything else would be breaking character.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Lucky for me, changing my grav a lot is within my character.

  22. Ridureyu

    “Ethan, who is this?”

    “Oh, nobody, just the last girl I had sex with.”

    And then Joyce exploded.

  23. turkishproverb

    Yes. Yes. Give in to your hate. Only your hate can make you strong.

  24. Confuzor

    Wow, Joyce is extra cute in that first panel.

    Actually all of the expressions and body language this chapter are fantastic!

  25. Kernanator

    Why does no one other than Ethan and Amber look more than mildly confused? What happened to Willis’ usual crazy expressions?

    1. Corsair114

      They’re so stunned by the fact that Amber hasn’t ceiling splatted Ethan (following the look on her face in the last strip) that their expressions haven’t caught up with the situation.

      Or something.

    2. agentksilver

      This kind of just happened. Only 2-3 sentences have been exchanged, so maybe…ten seconds have gone by at most? There hasn’t been time on anyone’s part for anything other than mild confusion.

  26. PainfulBuggery

    You’re…..sexy? Why yes he is.

  27. BranTheQuixotic

    Every comic that passes lately where Joyce HASN’T FOUND OUT YET I am basically doing this moment of Troy from Community: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6jWcQpjbQM

    Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh I wish Amber had just said DOES SHE KNOW YOU ARE GAY aaaah I hope he doesn’t manage to make some excuse to her and say that he’s ABOUT to tell Joyce and then suddenly, whooops, he hasn’t told her yet.

    Of course that’s probably not going to happen. Amber is going to explain how much he hurt HER and then that he is going to really hurt Joyce, too, and he’s probably going to walk back in and come out to everybody. But every moment that passes while this continues, I can feel the pain that Joyce is going to experience slightly increasing. Man, college has been rough to her. After nearly having been raped and going on a date with Joe (who is a decent enough guy, I guess, but not who she is looking for) she is not going to be having happy fun thoughts about her prospects for romance…which she is pinning all her future hopes and dreams on. Girl hasn’t said one word about a career of her own that I recall. She is going to be crushed. Aah.

    1. Archtus

      Then again, being outed to people without permission really sucks…

      1. BranTheQuixotic

        Yeah, that’s true. I just really want the band-aid pulled off already. And if she had outted him, I think that wouldn’t have been tooooooo shitty a thing to do. If only because of all people, Amber is the one who knows how much it sucks to have someone tell you, basically, “our entire relationship has been a lie and I was never attracted to you.” With her he has some valid excuses: he was young, sexual orientation is confusing, our fucked up culture makes it really hard to be gay. With Joyce he doesn’t really have those.

        Being half-out is something I’m not sure how to feel about. I mean, I understand it can be hard to be out, but when you are only out to select people in your life, you are dragging them into the closet with you without their consent. Being in the closet is stressful; you have to constantly monitor who knows, who doesn’t, you have to constantly be on guard.

        It’s a tricky situation. I’m not sure any hard and fast rules apply for the morality of it. But I do think, yeah, Amber is doing the rightest of right things by not outting him and instead trying to persuade him to come out himself. His behavior is not without fault, but I guess that doesn’t really justify forcibly outting him.

        My thoughts on this are biased by the fact that I just can’t stand this constant tension, dreading what is about to happen to Joyce. As a former religious person myself, I can’t help but feel empathy for her, even (or especially) when she says screwed up things.

        1. Ki

          There really are hard and fast rules though – never out someone without their consent. That’s the hard and fast rule.

          Maybe there are times when that rule has to be violated for the sake of some greater good, but this is definitely not one of those times. If someone’s in the closet who isn’t you, that’s not your call to make. You don’t like not being sure who you can tell and who you can’t? Don’t talk about that person’s sexuality with anyone.

          I’m not trying to defend Ethan’s behavior; it’s been pretty crummy and there’s really no excuse for it. That doesn’t give Amber the right to out him though, and I’m really proud of her for not doing it.

        2. Gaiash

          Not just that. While Joyce should know it’s not really fair to involve everyone else

        3. Andiemus

          Still would have been ok with her clobbering him like Ben Grimm.

        4. Historyman68

          All of those reasons are still valid with Joyce. He’s still young, sexual orientation still is confusing, and our culture still makes it hard to be gay.

        5. Andiemus

          The difference is with Joyce, he already knows he’s gay, and so he should have known from the situation with Amber that there was no way it was going to work and he went ahead with it anyway. Pretty shitty thing to do.

  28. JD

    Be glad she made her Willpower check, Ethan. Now get ready to roll Dodge.

    1. Archtus

      Yes!

    2. StClair

      He’s flat-footed, so he doesn’t get his Dex bonus.

  29. bunivasal

    “We just need to go outside so I can rub my thing on her tummy.”

    1. Tom Speelman

      At least, that’s what is plausibly running through Joyce’s head.

      Also, thank goodness Ethan didn’t get outed in front of everyone; I think my brain would explode from ALL OF THE FEELS

  30. JBO

    About the poll: I had a romantic dream about Dotty the other night. Now I feel weird.

    1. Kelly

      Good taste!

      1. David

        Yes.

        1. taekwondogirl

          That’s not fair, you could say “good taste” about almost all of the ladies in the poll.

  31. Angelicfiend

    Ethan…no, boy, your gay….what what what are you doing?

  32. Peruhain

    “[i]My[/i] boyfriend?!”

    I imagine that’s the words Joyce is imagining Amber was about to say. Being gay is so off her radar screen that she is likely to be incapable of imagining it.

  33. Zoey

    Dat 7th panel

  34. Raoullefere

    Annnnndddd we have… choke! Dammit.

  35. Jay

    This is known as the secret chinese ball torture technique. You clamp down hard, making sure your victim understands exactly how close to painful death they are,and proceed to lead them around at a whim. It is the deadliest of martial arts

  36. Clementine

    On a completely unrelated note, I really want to cosplay as Marcie.

  37. Dr.Z

    “…Jewish!”

  38. Notebooked

    Amber didn’t let her feelings of righteous wrath run away from her enough to ruin Ethan’s personal and social life! Good for her.
    Seriously, she seems like she might be in kind of a…good place? She’s not completely deferent and doesn’t let people get away with doing crappy things (except Mike, but he’s a crapflood that cannot be stopped), but she also doesn’t lash out at them instantly if that’d be too severe. She just seems like a really strong person. It’s coolio.

    So who’s guessing that Mike is sitting just off-panel, ready to tell Joyce that Amber’s the last girl Ethan had sex with?

  39. Iceholder

    Dat Amber face.

  40. Barabajagal

    So he was taking a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut?
    Or is that in bad taste?

    1. mrlshade

      Only if the the doughnut is OK with it.

  41. Marimba

    Ethan’s lucky Mike didn’t show up instead of Amber!

    1. timemonkey

      Mike was there when Ethan decided to start this.

      1. Kirt Dankmyer

        Yeah, I think Mike was aware that the longer it went, the worse it would get when the reveal happened, so he left it be… for now.

        1. Sir Robin

          Everyone expected Mike to blow the lid off of this … so of course he didn’t

        2. Regalli

          He does whatever you DON’T want him to do, as well.

        3. timemonkey

          I DON’T want him to have a threesome with Ethan and Amber. That would be terrible.

      2. JK9000

        Wasn’t Mike the one who gave him this idea in the first place? Or at least encouraged him to take this route?

  42. E.C.

    Oh, good. She stopped herself in time.

  43. Austin Powers

    I do not see this ending well

  44. Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)

    Amazi-Girl displays great Willpower

  45. Kirt Dankmyer

    Shit got *real*, yo.

    I wondered when this would happen. I also wonder if Joyce is going to learn what a “beard” is…

  46. nothri

    While everyone is outside….

    Joyce: So…what was your name?
    Danny: Um, Danny. Hi.
    Joyce: Danny, mind if I imprint on you to obsess over while my boyfriend is gone?
    Danny: Isn’t that plot a little played out by now?
    Joyce: Oh, come on! Nostalgia!

  47. Lone Wolf

    … She mad?

  48. Mimo

    Luuucyyyyy…

  49. Seodra

    So… am I the only one who thinks Amber stays quiet, Ethan confesses to Joyce on his own that he is gay but doesn’t want to be, and Joyce comes back with “God can fix you and I’ll help!”

    Seriously… just me?

  50. DragonStryk72

    Good girl Amber. Now, while it is wrong to out someone without their consent, you have to also look at the point that Ethan is openly taking advantage of Joyce, whom he knows is naive enough not to ask any of the uncomfortable questions that would get him caught.

    Now, personally I would give him a 24 hour deadline before I tell her for him. It gives them enough time to say it and deal with repercussions, but at the same time, doesn’t let them off the hook. No amount of personal life difficulties gives you the right to take advantage of another person’s feelings.

  51. Jay

    This would be the perfect time for Mike to bluntly inform the rest of the table the facts and wait for Ethan and Amber to come back >:D

    1. Kemp

      Lord, please no… Mike’s already incredibly unlikable, an act like that would make him irredeemably unpleasant to look at.

      More unpleasant than it already is, I mean.

      1. timemonkey

        Mike’s beena dick, no question, but pretty much everything he’s done to others, in this continuity, has been with an alterior motive of the greater good. Doesn’t always work, but it’s there.

  52. DontLookAtMe

    “No, Amber, she doesn’t know, and neither do the rest of my friends. Please don’t tell them I’m a Batman geek!”

  53. Pistonrage

    giving him a chance to explain things isn’t going to make more stupid lies go away. Should have just outed him and got it over with.

  54. Manamana

    I do believe this is what Mike will be doing…

  55. Jen Aside

    So… where IS Alice the Maid? =’

  56. Led

    Somehow I am a bit sad that Joyce didn’t find out about Ethan’s love of men by something Mike did… Of course, I am always a little bit sad when things do not involve Mike insulting someone or humping their moms.

    Of course, it’s not too late for that either… Quick Mike, sleep with Ethan, film it and show Joyce the tape!

    1. timemonkey

      I was kind of hoping Mike would get so annoyed by the whole thing he’d sleep with Ethan just to rob Ethan of his delusions that he could be straight.

    2. Leorale

      But we don’t want Mike to propose to Joyce!

  57. Satya

    …and *crash* goes Ethan’s confidence

    1. Roborat

      Actually, I think that was the table.

  58. Roborat

    Holy Crap! She just yanked him clear over the table.

  59. ThatGug

    good she knows its a major Faux pas (read: horrible violation of personal information) to out someone else.

    If only my Ex friend knew that and didnt “warn” potential roleplayer buddies that there were gays in the group.

    THE GAY!

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