395

Hair down
Posted on June 9, 2017 by David M Willis

395 thoughts on “Hair down”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I vote puppy

    1. zoelogical

      puppy-eating commenced

      1. Kris

        Just because every apsect of someone’s personality is objectively horrible doesn’t mean that they eat puppies. Puppies are too hard to digest.

        1. zoelogical

          i didn’t say she ate them raw

          obviously she boiled them alive first and then sold their furs to cruella de vil, who was taken aback by her awfulness. not enough to not buy the furs, obviously, you don’t get into the puppy fur business by quibbling over morality, but still.

        2. Sebastian Temple

          Boiling them alive would ruin the fur. You have to skin them first. Otherwise, the fur will wrinkle as the muscles cook and the hide compresses around the shrinking muscles
          .

        3. SeanR

          Ah. Innocence.
          What makes you think she’d kill them to skin them?
          Then, of course, the recipe calls for lemon juice.

        4. Lan

          Not really. Could’ve always steamed them like street dumplings.

        5. zoelogical

          i did think of that, but if she skinned them alive then they’d be dead which destroys the point of boiling them alive!!

          maybe it’s just flashboiling? although at this point i’ve put far too much work into a really gross headcanon

        6. SgtWadeyWilson

          Anybody else got the phrase: “Bored now.” stuck in their head after this thread?

        7. VeryCreativeUsername

          I was thinking more in a general “House Bolton”-direction, especially since the hyptothetical (?) violence and cruelty is depicted towards canines, but now that you mention it…
          Does that mean Ryan accidentally shot Marys girlfriend and that made her evil?

          … No, something isn’t right there…

      2. Opus the Poet

        Just going to make the point that puppy-eating is normal behavior in some eastern societies. And that they are damned good eating. Sweet and tender.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Small hot dogs are sometimes called pups, so…

        2. Remmington Steele

          Hot pups doesn’t sound right somehow.

        3. Schol-R-LEA

          You don’t eat those that way! Oh, wait, I’m thinking of sweater pups.

    2. Martamos

      You think to small my friend. This is the alternate universe where Mary exclusively eats puppies.

      1. Durandal_1707

        Speaking of small, wow, Mary’s short. Either that, or Carla’s really tall. Even factoring in the skates.

        1. UltraKyrie

          Carla’s toll

        2. Kinoko

          Keep meaning to find this comic when folks bring up Carla’s height, but couldn’t for the life of me remember where it was:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/purpleandskates/

    3. Temperaryobsessor

      Objectively I think piglets might be eviler to eat.

      1. Viktoria

        Nah, piglets grow up into pigs, and pigs are basically 500lb domesticated rats. Hell, buying wild boar meat is basically a public service.

        1. Reltzik

          Pigs are way smarter than rats. Or dogs.

        2. Spaz

          also capybaras are giant horse-rats, and are totally cute, and I am going to own one some day.

        3. VeryCreativeUsername

          There are frogs that make “Meow!”-sounds.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Bacon veal…

    4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Personally, I’m more concerned about how Mary is looking off behind her in panel 1, indicating something behind her that amuses or pleases her. I fear this is just Mary being smug post-hate-crime, and that poor Carla is about to walk (or roll) right into some sort of horrible trans-phobic BS that Mary has set up to the left. Thus Mary is being “nice” to set up Carla for the hate-crime “prank” just off panel to the left.

      1. Paul

        I think that qualifies as the “freshly eaten puppy”

  2. Victor Riley

    Ditto

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Umbreon

  3. Kris

    Mary broken.

    1. Aeron

      Mary.exe has stopped responding. Click here to relaunch the application.

      “You know what?” *pulls hand away from the mouse* “Let’s just leave it like this.”

      1. butting

        Aw, we can’t leave it feeling left out like that.

        Start up a VM and copy the executable in there. It can run in a happy little confined world where it won’t trouble anyone, and it’ll never know the difference.

        *re-reads the last few strips*

        waiiiitaminute…

  4. AutobotDen

    Seconding or thirding or whatevering the puppy vote.

  5. fillerusername

    If I were Carla I would have immediately put my hair in a ponytail.

    1. zoelogical

      carla i’ll braid your hair baby u don’t have to take that

    2. NelC

      If you braid your hair, you’re just letting the terrorists win.

      1. zoelogical

        ???????? i can’t read, what does this mean

    3. Shen Hibiki

      So you WOULD let Mary’s oppinion decide how you wear your hair? XD

    4. thejeff

      If I were Carla, I’d do whatever the hell I wanted, because I’d be a mother-fucking goddess.

      1. Princet

        Objectively the best response

  6. zoelogical

    oh god mary’s wearing white oh god oh god oh god

    doom

    1. Undrave

      Maybe she’s Shattered Glass Mary!

      1. zoelogical

        i don’t understand this reference, please expectorate

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          Ew…

        2. zoelogical

          im just saying they should spit it out

        3. Khyrin

          Essentially, the Transformers universe(s), the Shattered glass setting is one in which all the ‘bad guys’ are on the side of justice and truth and happy shiny people holding hands, and all the “Good guys” are the villains.

        4. zoelogical

          ……….oh

          lmao i was googling “shattered glass mary” and getting nothing clarifying. for a moment there i thought it maybe had something to do with stained glass? a shattered stained glass mary? an au catholic mary??? who knows

          there is just not an easy all-encompassing term for this concept is there

        5. Pablo360

          Bizarro

        6. zoelogical

          “Am Mary! Don’t look at frown! I can too be mean!”

        7. SgtWadeyWilson

          @zoelogical #3 comment, me am wish for downvote button, no stars!

        8. zoelogical

          @SgtWadeyWilson very rude! am not complimented! i can’t do this forever!

        9. SgtWadeyWilson

          @zoelogical Challenge declined! Me am got no time on hands, will leave now!

        10. Undrave

          Bizarro would have worked but Shattered Glass felt more ‘Willis’.

        11. Spaz

          Note: The Meatbags have taken the bait. I repeat, the Meatbags have taken the bait.

          Also, AK-47 will never not be funny.

          Especially my headcanon Elcor-programmed AK-47, meatbags!

        12. Spaz

          Declamation: The Meatbag who hit “Post Comment” is being ‘taken care of,’ because he did not correctly intuit the mechanical glory that is AK-47.

        13. Kryss LaBryn

          Ahhh! And like that, what, eight years later, I get Willis’s Shattered Glass Ravage strip.

        14. Orion Fury

          Shattered Glaston?

      2. Kingmonster

        If that was the case, we’d have a meme-tastic Ravage running around.

        1. StClair

          and waving. to everyone.

        2. Undrave

          Maybe Shattered Glass Mary is Ravage’s holomatter avatar!

  7. Kensou

    SHOOT HER~!

    1. Fart Captor

      SHOOOOOOOT HEEEER!

      1. Hescotti

        She’s a clever girl…

  8. Tacos

    She ate a puppy. That’s definitely it.

  9. MM

    Is there a timeline in which Mary is an unequivocally good person?

    1. zoelogical

      n o

    2. Tacos

      Nope.

    3. Kernanator

      Only on Earth-3.

      1. Neeks

        For some reason my mind immediately sprang to that episode of Darkwing Duck where he gets knocked out or something and wakes up and everyone’s good/evil alignment was swapped (except Nega-Duck)

        Tbh all I remember about the ep is the alignment thing, it’s been like twenty years since I watched that show…

        1. SmokedToast

          Actually, Nega-Duck’s alignment is swapped. 🙂 You’re thinking of the episode where Darkwing finds out Nega-Duck’s name is literal… He’s Darkwing’s -counterpart- in that episode.
          It’s the one where the Friendly Five all become darkwing and adopt that world’s goslyn, right? I remember it best because Darkwing fell into a cake to get to their world.

    4. Undrave

      Shattered Glass Mary?

    5. tim gueguen

      Timeline 2346alphaxray98. Unfortunately that’s because everyone else in the timeline is literally a clone of Hitler.

    6. ESM

      IIRC, Walkyverse Mary eventually became more mellow, though never actively good.

      I don’t think Mary is up to something here because…frankly, she’s wildly incompetent, so either she’s scared of Carla or in such a good mood its over-riding the rest of her. Presumably Roz just got framed for Ryan’s murder and Mary’s just happy to have her own room.

      1. BBCC

        I’d argue Walkyverse!Mary being more mellow. She acted like it with Billie but a few years later, she’s still being a shitty friend.

      2. Spaz

        I read Ryan and my first thought was “Why would Mary kill Paul Ryan?”

        ……derp.

    7. Harvey Janus

      I mean in theory yeah, there’s infinite alternate universes, but… is a Mary that’s genuinely nice actually Mary?

  10. AnvilPro

    Nah, her clothes would be stained

    1. Harvey Janus

      She could be a very finicky puppy eater … or maybe that’s what she does in just her panties and bracelets in the afternoon.

  11. foamy

    OMINOUS

  12. Bicycle Bill

    Who’s the girl in the dark brown hair and what did she do with the real Mary?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Who cares, let’s keep this one.

      1. Clif

        No. She’s smiling. Mary has a number of different smiles and none of them are good. WOW (Word of Willis)

  13. Yumi

    Mary looks really cute in this strip.
    I’m not a fan.

  14. Ivy

    Yay! She’s being nice!

    1. Yumi

      Surely this sudden shift is to be trusted!

    2. fillerusername

      No……….

  15. Cattleprod

    She witnessed what happened to Ryan and Amber gave her an unambiguous ‘you’re next’ look.

  16. Abax

    I don’t trust the new Mary. It can smell fear.

    1. Undrave

      Invasion of the Body Snatchers! Maybe we can convince the aliens to keep Mary…

      1. DaveM

        She’s a Zygon duplicate!

        …

        Actually, she’s not a Zygon duplicate. No. This Mary is nice and kind. She’s obviously the real Mary, and even if you find the real biological Mary entwined in Zygon tentacles, I’ll still claim this one is the real Mary.

        1. StClair

          ah, the classic “you know, we like this one better, you can keep the original.”

          In any plot involving duplication (or radical personality alteration), it tends to go about 20/80 with “thanks, but we want our jerk back.” The difference in ratio is mostly due to the need to maintain status quo.

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      I’m just surprised you can smell webcomics.

  17. Some1

    I’m gonna hope that Mary spends so long acting nice, she forgets to actually do anything villainous.

    1. Orion Fury

      So she is becoming the mask? It’d be nice to say that I like her, as opposed to saying that I like her outfits. But I’m not a big fan on hating. And I like the outfits Willis designs for her more than anyone else’s.

  18. pluto

    Either Mary’s plotting something awful, or we’ve just met Yram, her secret kindly atheist twin sister.

    1. Lingo

      Who wears church clothes, but only on Saturdays!

  19. Optimal Optimus

    Honestly, Carla, skating in your dorm hallway is obnoxious behavior.

    1. Puckish Rogue

      I think this subject has been covered previously

      1. ESM

        Which actually makes Mary’s out-of-character niceness even *more* odd

      2. TamiDOA

        This subject was beaten to death and buried next to a troll, but now it’s back as a … ZOMBIE THREAD!

        1. Kris

          Tonight on amc…..The Walking Thread!:
          Carla has unfair hallway skating privileges! Mary did nothing wrong!

        2. Emperor Daniel

          He just cares about his daughter! Maybe Becky isn’t really a le-

          *is shot*

    2. Zatar

      Are you really bringing that up in a strip with these two characters? Really?

      1. Furthurdead

        I mean, while Mary is a asshat who can choke on her own saliva for all half of us care, the fact that it is the opposite of what Mary wants doesn’t excuse Carla for being a self righteous conceited disturbance to the rest of the dorm.

        I would love to see what Sarah would say to Carla if they ever talked.

        1. thejeff

          “Do you want to borrow my baseball bat?”

          “No thanks, I prefer sweet, sweet pranks.”

        2. Clif

          Skating is life. Who would deny Carla life?

        3. Roborat

          “Do you want to borrow my baseball bat?”

          “No thanks, I use a vibrator.”

  20. Nono

    I mean, it IS the best way to deal with Carla. She wants everyone to treat her like she’s a standoffish jerk so her plans are completely foiled if people are nice to her (see: Joyce thanking her).

    1. Fart Captor

      She wasn’t foiled at all by Joyce being nice. She was quite pleased by it. Hence all the big grins

      1. Nono

        Not here, when Joyce thanked her for the milk jugs.

        1. Orion Fury

          You know, I’m just not gonna say anything.

        2. Halpful

          That’s an OCD thing? My brain does that a lot, and it’s starting to sound like I have some form of OCD… But from reading Wikipedia it seems the only treatment is things I’m already doing. :/

        3. Halpful

          Btw, I could read the OCD comment on my rss reader, but not on mobile Firefox; is it something that only shows on mouseover?

        4. Orion Fury

          Yeah, it’s one of those mouse/hover over tag attributes. Specifically, it the title attribute, and to my knowledge, it can be used with tags like abbreviation, hyperlinks, pictures.

          Ans specifically it’s a compulsion, for me anyways, so put in a comment here if I’ve decided to comment. Like here, a funny comment came to mind, and I went to type it, but then realized that it’d be offensive as well. But I had already started the process to comment, and then I couldn’t not comment, so I had to work out something to say.

  21. Kate

    Okay, but, Carla’s hair actually does look nice down.

  22. James

    …well, either she’s attempting to convince people she’s up to something and covering it up so someone will snap and do something “unprovoked” to her. Or she’s eaten a puppy.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      OooOOoooorrr… She’s managed to do something hateful but indirect, like giving an anonymous tip to some right-wing Christian organization or other that there is a horrible, awful guy posing as a “trans-woman” (not that such a thing actually exists /sarcasm) in order to get into the shared bathrooms in the girls’ dorm, and they’ve just shown up to “investigate” her claim and make life horrible for Carla. 🙁

      Where did Indiana stand on the stupid bathroom laws, again?

  23. Goki

    Oh man… Ryan did die, or at least got really big big boo boos. It was so epic it reset the world. Carla and Joe are nice, Danny doesn’t care about women anymore. DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER.. MASS HYSTERIA!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      With Ryan dead, the Imperius Curse he put on Mary is broken..

      1. Pablo360

        Or at least that’s what she claims, so that there’s no way to prove she was truly loyal.

        1. Schpoonman

          Wait, is that how that shit worked in Harry Potter? Jesus. I’d feel like any experience with the actual curse would put that theory to bed (all live accounts of the Imperius Curse in the books turns the victim into a blank doll that follows your commands until you lift the curse).

  24. Passchendaele

    Or worse yet, an alternate timeline where Mary sacrifices twice as many puppy souls as before to keep her endless spite in constant check, manifesting itself in smiles with what looks like lipstick. o-o

    Mary is just suspicious no matter what she does, isn’t she? After all I’ve seen, I can’t trust her smile. XD

    1. Passchendaele

      except, [sarcasm]clearly[/sarcasm] no *true* Christian woman would wear makeup, so where’s she hiding the fresh puppy blood? o-o

      1. Orion Fury

        She massaged it in to bring out her natural glow?

  25. Some1

    There is a distinct possibility that Mary spent the last 3 days on a magical journey, where a series of strange events taught her a series of life lessons.

    1. The Mad Academic

      I’m going to place my bets with Carla and that Mary has eaten a puppy with a glass of orphan tears.

    2. zoelogical

      maybe she’s still high

    3. Undrave

      She was visited by the ghost of Ronald Reagan and taken to another universe where she saved the world by learning about Kindness?

      1. Some1

        And then she found the gay trans woman who killed her father and caused her bigotry, gaining the help she needs from a gay person to finally defeat her.

        Wait…this is the plot to Who Framed Roger Rabbit…isn’t it?

        1. Undrave

          Totally! Someone pitch it to Hollywood XD

    4. ESM

      Now I just want this to be Mary’s new personality forever and have it never be explained.

      1. Harvey Janus

        And a comments section full of suspicion?

        1. thejeff

          For years.

    5. Zatar

      There is a much more distinct possibility that none of that happened.

      1. The Mad Academic

        We can dream the dream.

      2. Some1

        Must you ruin everything?

    6. butting

      … Roz has been away, and hiding-in-her-room-all-scared Mary found her Drawer of Magic Toys?

      1. Undrave

        Why would Roz of all people be bothered by that??

  26. Sam

    Mary’s statement… is true…?

    I am scared. ;-;

  27. Pigeon Pollyx

    David Willis you stop this right now

    1. Orion Fury

      Explaining what happened to Mary? yeah, he probably will for awhile. The suspension of it will drive the commenting section mad, possibly sending more people to Pateron for next day’s comic, to just be slightly closer to the answer, in perpetuity.

  28. Linkletter

    I’m reminded of the hovertext from this strip. I have many concerns.

  29. John

    My theory is that sometime during the timeskip, Billie punched Mary in the head so hard that it brain-damaged her and completely changed her personality.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Um, I have some experience with that, and brain damage induced personality changes are never for the better.

      1. Sam

        I think I have heard of like, one instance where it caused a positive change but I can’t for the life of me remember who it was and searching for it hasn’t helped me find out either, but yeah, I would think it is more likely to result in negative changes or losses in functions.

      2. Alex Boston

        IRL that may be true, but in comics (and webcomics) there is less realism behind “being hit on the head and getting a new personality”. Guy Gardner in the 90’s comes to mind. I am not sure if this comic is going for realism or not.

      3. John

        Well, I figure that Mary didn’t have any more down to go, so she wrapped around to nice.

        Alternately, maybe she just got laid. She’ll be a jerk again when the endorphins wear off.

        1. Pablo360

          I fucking hate that trope.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          And yet, it seems to have at least some basis in reality. :/ I was on a small shoot this one time, where the Director of Photography hooked up with someone else on the crew, and we could tell whenever he got laid, because instead of making us haul all the extremely heavy lighting equipment out into the bush where we were filming (had to carry it a long ways from where we could get the truck to out to where we were shooting) on the off chance we might need it, he’d only bring out what was actually required for that day’s shooting.

          We all begged her to nail him as close to daily as possible. That shit was heavy.

        3. Roborat

          I can also confirm that there is some truth to that as well.

        4. Orion Fury

          Don’t worry Pablo, I cringed when I read it.

  30. Sionyx

    Maybe someone shoved some Fun Pills down Mary’s throat…

  31. Hellespont

    Puppies for breakfast? That’s a bit much, isn’t it? More of a kitten meal, surely.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Puppies in the morning, puppies in the evening, puppies at supper time…

      1. Hellespont

        Great, now that is gonna be in my head all day. Thanks a lot…

        🙂

        1. Orion Fury

          Well considering that Lox is a salmon cutlet, I get it.

  32. Kris

    Sometimes people can just be nice for no reason….it’s not likely but let’s just enjoy it while it lasts.

    1. Kernanator

      The problem with that theory is that Mary only derives happiness from the suffering of others.

      1. Some1

        I wonder how she feels about the suffering of Ryan?

        1. Kris

          I feel like Ryan is the one person even Mary would hate….Assuming she was aware of his crimes. Otherwise she could just be another one of his “sympathizers”

        2. Some1

          Mary: Dammit Ryan! Evil Christian is my thing!

        3. ESM

          Compared to Ryan or most other DoA villains, Mary’s a bit more of a garden-variety asshole, with slightly more complexity and a need to be able to maintain her self-image as “the good one surrounded by evil”. She’s the kind of person who’d make justifications for Toedad if she heard about it second-hand, for instance, but wouldn’t actively team up with him to capture Becky in a bear trap.

          Hating Ryan is both easy and fun, since he’s not a Christian (or certainly not a “real” once), so Mary would do it easily and lecture everyone about how Ryan shows the importance of abstinence-only education or something.

  33. Rei

    They both look very nice in this strip. But happy Mary still scares the crap out of me D:

    1. Puckish Rogue

      Looks quite attractive in that third panel though, I mean if you didn’t know anything about her

      1. Some1

        Okay, let’s face it, if you take away the personality…Mary is pretty damn attractive in general. Plus she has large eyes, which we tend to see as cute.

        1. Puckish Rogue

          and everyone is more attractive when they smile

        2. NickG

          Have you seen Theresa May smile?

        3. Pablo360

          Or Steve Bannon

        4. MatthewTheLucky

          “More”
          -1,000,000 +1 is still negative.

  34. Bagge

    Yeah, I think it’s the puppy thing.

  35. Larkle

    Isn’t Mary terrible in all AUs though?

    1. Reltzik

      I think in a few she’s nonexistent.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Normal Universe Mary Bio Entry: OMG!WTF!!KIWF!!! (Oh my gods! what the fuck!! Kill it with fire!!!)

        Off-brand AU Mary Bio Entry: Mostly harmless. Cause of death/absence: [insert headcanon here]

  36. DinaWho

    Honestly I have no clue what is happening in this storyline

  37. Kernanator

    Don’t be ridiculous, Mary wouldn’t eat a puppy.

    Now on the other hand, ritually sacrificing a puppy to God…

    1. Temperaryobsessor

      But the Bible does not tell us how to do that, plus I’m not sure puppies are clean in the first place.

  38. Shiro

    Mary in a good mood is a dangerous Mary. Also, I like the contrast between their outfits in this scene.

    1. Shiro

      Hmm. So, she’s just come from something that’s put her in a good mood, and something she had to dress up for. Was Mary on a date??

      1. zoelogical

        with ryan

        1. Shiro

          Doubtful, if he’s not dead he’s at least in no state for outings. My first thought was she’d been to see him at the hospital

        2. zoelogical

          im just saying that if he’s in the hospital it’s probably the only time she knows he’s not cheating on her

  39. Ethereal

    I vote she had a kitten AND a puppy.

  40. TamiDOA

    Wait, I learned this in Manga School. The only time the villain’s nice is when they’re sure they’ve got you and are about to destroy you.

    Run away! Run away! 🙂

    1. Roborat

      What, there is Manga School? Why did nobody tell me this???

      1. Opus the Poet

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja_High_School
        Since 1987. When were you born?

        1. Roborat

          Not what I had in mind when I was thinking Manga School, that looks more like the plot of Tenchi Muyo. By 1987 I had already graduated university and my first child was born a year later.

  41. Lauralot

    I’m starting to think that this is all either Dorothy or Amber’s dream sequence to deal with trauma or something.

    1. Clif

      Somewhat unlikely, but remotely possible.

  42. Keulan

    What the fuck is Mary up to, there is no way she can be that cheerful unless she’s got some terrible plan she’s working on.

    1. Undrave

      Maybe she found the half-dead Ryan and is turning him into the ultimate God powered cyborg in her secret lair!

      1. Some1

        I feel like I’d prefer cyborg Ryan to actual Ryan.

    2. ESM

      Mary’s not smart enough to come up with a plan, though. She’s literally never succeeded at anything except being a jerk.

      1. Some1

        Even then she’s beaten out by most of the other villains!

      2. Kris

        Her last gambit against Carla did end with her getting pied…then later punched in the face. So I can understand why she’d be nice to Carla even if only at face value. Also I’m guessing she just came from or is going to church and might have some sort of religious high going on.

        1. C.

          Mary, a Sabbatarian?

  43. Bea

    she got laid so she’s in a good mo–oh, who am I kidding? Having sex out of wedlock would be against her values, right? my theory is that Jocelyn had a nice talk with Joyce during the time skip, so and Joyce heard about Mary’s transaphobia, so now Joyce threatened Mary and controls her every move. Or maybe it has something to do with pride month.

    1. UltraKyrie

      Considering she got preggers in Walkyverse, it’s not out of the question.

  44. Artiekrap

    Oh dear god what has happened in these last 3 days

    1. Reltzik

      Mary said “Oh, hey, that’s what happens to the nasty people who try to hurt the girls here. Ummmmmm OH HEY LOOK I’M SUDDENLY NICE exceptwhenIcanblendinwithRachel’shate.”

      1. Emperor Daniel

        “Rachel Shate? Never heard of ‘er.”

  45. Shiro

    Btw, Willis, a five-year-old kid started talking to me about Transformers at work and it’s because I read your tumblr that I was able to hold, like, any kind of a conversation at all. Thanks!

    1. Opus the Poet

      Where do you work and are they hiring? Asking for a friend who’s totally not a zombie and never been dead.

  46. Romanticide

    Most probably a puppy, my recomendation if act polite in turn but not loosening vigilance.

  47. Rukduk

    Oh god Mary’s smiling and acting nice!! This isn’t good she’s either up to something or undergone a heel-face brainwashing (which I disapprove of solely because it would be brainwashing).

    1. Some1

      It turns out that Mary was brainwashed by an alternate Carla, whom the original Carla is forced to fight to the death when she plans to somehow muder everyone has ever had a transphobic thought.

      Carla: there is a difference between you and me, we both looked into the abyss, but when it looked back at us..you blinked.

  48. Rukduk

    Or…
    Carla: Why are you being nice Mary?
    Maria: Oh, I’m not Mary. I’m her twin sister Maria…our parents aren’t very creative with names.
    Carla: Your kidding right?
    Maria: I wish I was. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I don’t really like her, she’s very mean, petty, and spiteful. I mean, I have my faults too, but Mary just seems like she looks for reasons to hate other people, and I don’t like that.
    Carla: I’m…still not convinced.
    Maria: *sigh* I get this a lot. Don’t worry, I understand.
    Mary: Oh. It’s you. Hi, Maria. Making friends with Carla are we?
    Carla:…Now I believe you. I think.

  49. buddy

    no, yeah, its the puppy

  50. burntnorris

    Normally I’d hope that maybe Mary actually had some kind of epiphany and maybe is striving to be nicer, but.

    Lol.

  51. Hescotti

    Oooooh, methinks this does not bode well…

  52. Aprion

    Anytime I see Mary smile I want to toss her out a freaking window. Can’t wait for the day the Karma Train finally runs her stupid ass over.

    1. Emperor Daniel

      I always use “defenestrate” – rolls off the tongue better.

      “Anytime I see Mary smile I want to defenestrate her.”

  53. MatthewTheLucky

    What’s next, Billie leading an anti-drug seminar?

  54. Betty Anne

    Oh, look, Pudding Hair is just coming around the corner to check on Ruth, and Mary knows it. :p

    1. Clif

      Also possible.

  55. TheGrammarLegionary

    I’m… genuinely having trouble processing this. Like, someone is clearly dreaming, and I can’t tell whether or not it’s me yet.

  56. Absorbingman

    Silly Carla, puppies are for kicking, not eating.

  57. Reltzik

    Everyone else is voting “puppy”.

    I’m voting “both”.

    1. Reltzik

      To expand on that, here’s the evidence.

      1) We already think that puppy-eating is likely enough for almost everyone to be voting for it, so that’s not the hard one to sell.

      2) We know that Carla DID stumble onto an alternative timeline. In the last one, she was a talking car that got modded into an android and worked at a toy store. To make this more realistic, that timeline ended in a reality-warping event.

  58. Delicious Taffy

    Really, nobody’s said it, yet? Mary is probably being pleasant to Carla because she’s more focused on Billie and Ruth, now.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      That, or she’s setting up some bonkers scheme to gain Carla’s trust, make her think Mary’s changed her ways, befriend her, and then use that friendship to tear her life apart from the inside out.

      But, uh. That’s a little far-fetched.

    2. Reltzik

      That might be a reason that she’s not FOCUSING on Carla, but Mary-types can toss around casual nastiness with very little effort or thought at all. It’s their default state towards those they hate.

      …. maybe she just likes pie.

    3. Zatar

      And in addition the fact that’s she’s no longer in a weak position means she’ll get a chance to torment Carla to. This is the type of pleasantness that says “I’m coming for you.”

      Mary is such a horrible person.

    4. zoelogical

      mary’s learned that sometimes pleasant behavior can get her what she wants

      if people think she’s a decent person, they don’t expect her to be awful

  59. miados

    hmmm could be just me but due to her pure white outfit (which could been seen as making yourself look pure) and the singing I suspect she has some sort of romantic intent with someone coming up which made her not want to act bongo like so there is little risk of something messing up her look between where she is now and where she wants to go.

  60. Mr. Random

    I assume she’s realized she has a way to blackmail Billie, and by extension Ruth again.
    So… the equivalent, yes.

  61. Zatar

    Those are the musical notes of a piece of shit.

  62. Averien

    My guess is Mary was also attacked/raped by Ryan, and the violence against him has put her in a good mood.

    1. Some1

      Oh oh oh god… (Please note these are thoughts of horror and not pleasure, those are annoyingly similar)

    2. zoelogical

      i mean like. Mary just got her blackmail victim back in nominal control of the hall again; she has Ruth isolated from her girlfriend, who is moving out; she got Rachel to side against Ruth more than against her; she got an apology from Ruth while not apologizing for any of the despicable things she did or even acknowledging that they were despicable.

      she has plenty of reasons to be happy, and they all start with being in a place where she can push Ruth into being suicidal again

      1. Emily

        Does she even have anything on Ruth anymore that Clint can’t just sweep under the rug though?

  63. WingedBeast

    … Just random thoughts concerning the two characters that have shown significant changes in these past few strips.

    Danny and Mary got it on?

    1. Woobie

      Ugh! -but they are both in really good moods….

    2. zoelogical

      i. no. nonononono. noooo

      danny deserves better

    3. MatthewTheLucky

      THE WORST CALLBACK

  64. Cattleprod

    The fact that the smile doesn’t look creepy enough is itself intensely creepy.

    1. zoelogical

      its so…meek

      how much do you think she practices it in the mirror

  65. McBogue

    Well, Carla’s alternate timeline theory has some merit.

    Consider:
    1) Danny is being decisive about his life, rather than being a doormat.
    2) Joe is showing genuine concern for Danny, rather than being a selfish douche.
    3) Carla is playfully joking around, rather than demanding recognition of her awesomeness.
    4) Mary is being friendly, rather than being a spiteful, conniving asshole.

    Either that or something like Lauralot said: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/04-the-do-list/hairdown/#comment-1239360

    This is all a hallucination in the mind of Amber, who has spent the last three days in a catatonic state under psychiatric observation and is imagining what life around the dorm would be like if she wasn’t there to “screw everything up”.

    1. Reltzik

      5) Carla is from Shortpacked!

    2. Fart Captor

      Joyce had already recognized Carla’s awesomeness. No demands were necessary.

  66. Reltzik

    Okay, this just adds to my theory.

    We have:

    * Joe being nice to Danny
    * Potential bonding between Joe and Danny
    * Danny developing in a way not defined by his relationship with others
    * Fun Joyce/Carla moment

    … and now…

    * Mary being tolerable even to Carla.

    Again. Willis has decided to give us everything we ever wanted, but turn it to ash in our mouths by putting it RIGHT AFTER a red-panelly Amber v. Ryan fight.

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

    1. Spencer

      TBH I’m kind of worried that Danny’s development involves moving away from Amber. Like it’s saying “Hey look how much better off he is without that crazy harpy look how she ruined his life” and like that’s really unfair of me because Danny needed time to figure himself out regardless it just sucks that this comes at the expense of Amber going through so much bullshit

      or maybe thats just my anxiety talking idk

      good thing i have therapy today

      1. Pl0x

        I think it’s a good thing Danny isn’t so tangled up in Amber’s life anymore. It was creating problems for both of them. Like when Amber lashed out at him, which she regretted and beat herself up about it. They needed some space from each other. Amber’s suffering was gonna happen regardless of what Danny did. It was inevitable.

        Amber’s not a crazy harpy, and she didn’t ruin Danny’s life.

        1. Spencer

          yeah i know they needed to break up it wasnt good for them im just being an idiot

        2. Paul

          So long as Amber keeps insisting that “Amazigirl” is a separate person, she is at the very least being irrational. It’s not a multiple personality situation, though–she knows better.

        3. thejeff

          It’s not really clear how much harder Willis could point to her having DID, without actually having a psychiatrist diagnose her.

        4. Cerberus

          Yeah, like it could conceivably be one of the closely related disorders, but at the end of the day she’s a multiple, she’s got alters, she dissociates, she’s got a billion and a half traits that resonate deeply close for me as a person with DID.

          Like there’s only so much resemblance to a duck you can see before you have to conclude it’s either a duck or some other related waterfowl.

          And yeah, given those symptoms, trying to deny the existence of one of her alters is quite literally the opposite of what she needs to do right now and I’m really scared that Amber/AG after everything is going to think it’s time to lock down the Amber alter once and for all “for everyone’s protection”.

        5. StClair

          hasn’t he said that the reason he doesn’t make it an official diagnosis is that he does want to provide representation for those who feel/want it, but doesn’t want to make anyone mad if he gets it wrong somehow?

        6. Li

          That’s not a fair version of what he said, imho. What he said was that he’s aware that there are harmful stereotypes associated with violent people and DID, and he didn’t want to feed into those stereotypes by giving Amber an official diagnosis.

          That’s very different from “not wanting to make anyone mad if he gets it wrong somehow”.

        7. Emily

          I’m not really sure how strongly coding a violent character as having a particular disorder is really at all better in that respect. Like using coding instead of explicit statements isn’t really more sensitive it just confers a thin facade of deniability.

        8. Spencer

          like what i was trying to say was that it just kind of sucks for me that amber needed to lose danny because its like i have that fear of hurting my partner and i liked that they were together for a lot of reasons and it sucks for me that theyre the only relationship in the series deemed unfit to work hell its not even danny its entirely amber because danny’s fine without her so its like amber’s just this broken person who cant ever love anybody and people are better off without her

        9. Spencer

          sorry this was stupid i shouldnt have said it im sorry

        10. Pl0x

          It’s fine. It’s not stupid. I also heavily relate to Amber, although I lack the life experience of dating because I don’t talk to people. I mean that last part about Amber, in your above comment, would probably be me if I ever start dating and/or doing more socialising.* I hope this convinces you that your concerns are valid, because they totally are.

          *Right now I just sort of ignore those fears. I’d have to fix the not-talking-to-people part first. Which is partially caused by being scared of hurting and burdening people.

          (oops my problems looped back around)

        11. thejeff

          No, it’s definitely a thing to be concerned about. The whole “break up with the crazy person who’s ruining your life” thing is a trope and not a healthy one.

          I don’t think Willis is using it intentionally or with bad intent, but it is kind of an issue that it’s the only relationship that’s been established and then broken up.

          OTOH, Ruth & Billie make the counterpoint: She gets hospitalized and diagnosed, but they stay together.

        12. Spencer

          no it isnt im just being a fucking piece of shit again

        13. thejeff

          Nah, you’re not a piece of shit.

        14. Fart Captor

          It’s okay. You were just describing how the story has been hitting close to your own fears and anxiety. Anxiety doesn’t care if it’s an accurate representation of what’s going on with the characters. Anything in the ballpark will usually do.

          It’s completely valid for it to make you feel that way, and it sucks that is.

        15. Cerberus

          *hugs offered* You’re not a piece of shit and yeah, specific to your fear, I don’t think that’s where his arc is going. Like, he was also unhealthy in his relationship with Dorothy who is extremely normative as far as mental health goes and that also ended in a breakup of the other person’s triggering.

          So I think his arc is more about finding a him before finding a partner and would be the arc whether or not Amber was struggling with mental health or not.

          On Amber’s side, I think her arc might be more… well, your fear. Not that she’s a piece of shit too crazy for a relationship, but rather that she’s terrified that she’s going to be a piece of shit who is too crazy for a relationship and so isn’t putting any effort into trying to salvage things because part of her views it as her just desserts for her mental health.

          And I imagine that’s even more on display now that she’s done something to Ryan right after a floor meeting in which Rachel got done saying that no one can be redeemed and we’re all just our damage.

          Or at least, that’s how I’ve been reading it.

          But yeah, I can understand the anxiety. With literally any other creator, this probably would be the “crazy ex-girlfriend” story where the ex is “so crazy” and isn’t it wacky how her mental health gets more and more exaggerated and dangerous for the normative characters, blah blah blah fuck that noise.

          But I trust Willis that that’s not where this is going.

        16. Halpful

          *hugs* it’s okay to have some Feelings here. 🙂

          I think most of what I was going to say has been covered… Oh, but, they might get back together again. Every serious relationship I’ve had has included one temporary breakup. Including one specifically for mental health reasons.

        17. zoelogical

          yeah it’s just…a super ambiguous line here, between being with someone who needs a lot of help and choosing to take care of yourself first

          and maybe neither is wrong or right it’s just complicated and difficult

        18. StClair

          and now you’re in a spiral, man.
          I mean, you probably already knew that, but… no. It’s okay. Breathe.

        19. Li

          You’re not being a pile of anything. Your feelings are valid. Your fears are your fears. You aren’t a bad person for feeling this way, or for feeling hurt by the trajectory Amber and Danny are on. You’re not.

          /more hugs offered

        20. Halpful

          FWIW, my brain was being awful to me too, about the rot13’d comment on the previous comic. It’s been ranting about how stupid I was to post it so late where nobody would read it, but also about how stupid I was to post it at all because people might read it, and how dare I think anyone would be interested in my thoughts? 😛

          That voice is full of shit. It, like Mary and stopped clocks, is only right by *coincidence* – it’ll use anything as an excuse to attack, even shit that makes no sense or is self-contradictory.

        21. zoelogical

          i thought that post was clever!! also that you weren’t going to check back on it b/c the new strip was up, otherwise i would’ve said something

          haha decryptions are fun

        22. Spencer

          Yeah I know that feeling. I just try to power through my shoulder goblin’s ranting.

          I hope you’re feeling better.

        23. Pl0x

          I saw your comment! And googled for a rot13 decrypter. 🙂 I like what you were trying to say.

        24. Halpful

          🙂

          I’m still trying to figure out what I’d been trying to say there. There’s something about “I am a conversation” that feels important… part Insight, part defense against perfectionism.

        25. Pl0x

          Whatever your message was, it got to me. In my head it’s something about improvement. Humanity isn’t perfect, so it allows for improvement; perfectionism is crap. Also I guess “the journey is more important than the destination”?

        26. Pl0x

          Also I really like that we have the same default Becky gravatar!!!

        27. Halpful

          🙂 Yeah. To the journey!

          And also, Be wherever you are. That song was eerily similar to phrase I’ve been using for years: “Be where you are. It’s harder than it sounds.” Like, you’re not *supposed* to be perfect already, stop compulsively checking the goal and let yourself enjoy the damn journey a bit or it won’t feel worthwhile when you get there. Missing the goal is better than being too stressed and exhausted to have enjoyed either of them.

          Maybe that’s part of why accomplishments feel so unrewarding to me. Huh. They aren’t worth the stress of being stuck in that toxic perfectionistic mindset. So maybe if I tried relaxing and taking smaller easier goals and letting myself miss some and do things “wrong” and such…. I might actually feel good about the things I do accomplish?

          That would be pretty awesome. 🙂 And it also fits with how I’m continuing to play the game that rewards me for effort, even when I’m convinced the levels are impossible to beat. I keep beating these crazy-hard levels just because the game made trying-and-failing fun enough to keep trying 🙂

        28. Spencer

          Um, wow, thank you everyone. I feel really honoured and flattered to see this outpouring of support for this internet random.

          I just had a rough morning when I said this stuff. Days where I go to therapy are usually really rough for me afterwards for some reason idk I just feel really drained and miserable when I come back I’ve basically just been laying in bed since getting back feeling depressed and it took until now for me to get any kind of blood running so reading all of that felt really nice. I’m sorry for wigging out again and I’ll try to be more mature about myself going forward instead of freaking out in a comment section.

          Just, thank you. A lot. It means a lot to me.

        29. Halpful

          🙂 maybe you feel exhausted because it’s fucking hard work. it really *is* draining to intentionally bring up the scary things and talk about them and stay functional enough to even talk when you’d much rather let fight/flight/freeze have its way.

          I had a mini-rant to my own therapist recently about that, how harmful it can be to get dismissive messages like “just don’t be X” without acknowledgement that it’s not some easy thing people should already know how to do, it’s incredibly hard work and can take years. Even if some pieces of the solution seems obvious in retrospect, it’s not fair to beat up on yourself (or anyone else) for not figuring it out sooner. We don’t have magical future-vision. We don’t have proper debugging tools for the brain. Every brain is different and a lot of the time we’re just flailing around in the hopes we’ll stumble on whatever puzzle piece our brain happens to need at the moment.

          This shit can take a lot of time and hard work, and it’s worth acknowledging that and taking a moment to reward yourself for the effort.

        30. Halpful

          on that note… SU spoilers, season 5 (omfg season 5), rot13’d again:

          V unir zvkrq srryvatf nobhg Ynef’ punenpgre qrirybczrag. Ba gur bar unaq, lnl punenpgre qrirybczrag! Ur svanyyl trgf n shpxvat pyhr! Ba gur bgure unaq, vg jnf irel… dhvpx, naq gur jnl vg jnf unaqyrq znxrf zr harnfl.

          Yvxr… jvgu gur cnagf ynffb, jr frr uvz orvat pbzvpnyyl vapbzcrgrag. V fhfcrpg arneyl rirelbar nffhzrf ur’f orvat *vagragvbanyyl* vapbzcrgrag, naq vg’f cbffvoyr ur vf, ohg… guvf jnf gur cbvag jurer V fgnegrq gb haqrefgnaq uvz, orpnhfr nf n xvq V jnf bsgra npphfrq bs gung, jura V ernyyl jnfa’g qbvat vg vagragvbanyyl. Znlor na nygre jnf vagragvbanyyl haqrezvavat zr, ohg V qvqa’g srry yvxr *V* jnf qbvat vg, naq unq ab jnl gb *fgbc* qbvat vg, fb crbcyr chavfuvat zr sbe abg fgbccvat jnf pbzcyrgryl shpxvat hfryrff. Crefhnfvba jnf hfryrff. V ynpxrq rvgure gur fxvyyf be pncnpvgl gb qb nal orggre ng gur gvzr, naq zbfgyl whfg yrneag gb eha njnl shegure vafvqr zl urnq hagvy crbcyr fgbccrq gelvat gb ernpu zr.

          Naq gura Ynef fgnegf gnyxvat nobhg ubj fpnerq ur vf, naq bu shpx V tebx guvf abj. Rira gur onxvat, lrnu, V’ir orra gurer. Rirelguvat vf fpnel. V qba’g erfcbaq gb vg va gur fuvggl jnlf Ynef qbrf (bzst gung orgenlny bs Fnqvr vf tbaan unir pbafrdhraprf) ohg gur srryvatf ner gur fnzr. Fb znal srryvatf. Gur gelvat gb purre hc Fgrira vf fbzrguvat V’q qb, gbb.

          Vg jnf ernyyl ernyyl tbbq gb frr uvz or yvxr “shpx guvf fuvg, ab zber ehaavat” naq fgnaq hc gb gung ebobg. Ng gur fnzr gvzr n cneg bs zr vf yvxr “vg’f bx gb or nsenvq? gung’f vg, gung’f nyy lbh arrqrq? vg’f abg gung shpxvat rnfl va ernyvgl!” xvaqn yvxr fbzrbar jnf sehfgengrq ng orpxl unaqyvat guvatf fb jryy erpragyl. Yvxr, V trg gung gur fubj unf gb pbzcerff guvatf fbzrjung, ohg, V jbeel gung vg’yy frg haernfbanoyl uvtu rkcrpgngvbaf sbe crbcyr jvgu nakvrgl. Fbzr crbcyr trg yhpxl naq vg *vf* gung rnfl sbe gurz. V fhccbfr vg jnfa’g ragveryl rnfl sbe Ynef, rvgure, fvapr vg gbbx 5 frnfbaf sbe uvz gb fgneg trggvat vg… ohg bapr ur fgnegf, jryy, gung’f whfg gur svefg fgrc, naq va ernyvgl gurer’yy or n ybg zber bofgnpyrf gb birepbzr. Urpx, znlor jr’yy frr Ynef fgehttyvat ntnva yngre guvf frnfba.

          V whfg… Fgrira’f terng, ohg Yncvf naq Ynef unir na vagrafvgl bs srryvatf gung V qba’g guvax ur’f rdhvccrq gb shyyl haqrefgnaq (naq V xvaqn ubcr vg fgnlf gung jnl sbe n juvyr, orpnhfr vg’f n irel cnvashy haqrefgnaqvat). Yvxr, gurer’f orvat nsenvq, naq gurer’f orvat shpxvat greevsvrq. Ynef fgnaqvat hc gb gung srne jnf na vaperqvoyl oenir naq uneq guvat gb qb. Guvf vf abg n “frr? vg’f rnfl” xvaq bs guvat. Guvf jnf abg rnfl sbe uvz, guvf jvyy abg or rnfl sbe uvz va gur shgher whfg orpnhfr ur’f jba n srj onggyrf. Vg jvyy or rzbgvbanyyl qenvavat. Vg jvyy or rkunhfgvat. Naq vg’f jbegu vg; vg’f whfg abg n gevivny guvat.

          Nnnnaq gura ur fgnegf trggvat gur unat bs guvatf – naq ur’f qrnq. Gurl unaqyrq gung ernyyl jryy, vg qvqa’g fvax va hagvy V’q svavfurq rcvfbqr 4. Ohg ur qvq npghnyyl qvr gurer, naq abj ur’f.. fgvyy uvz, ohg nyfb jr qba’g dhvgr xabj jung ur vf. V’z abg fher jurer gur fubj’f tbvat gb gnxr guvf, be jung gurl vagraqrq jvgu uvf qrngu (orfvqrf n jnl ubzr). Yvxr, znlor vg jnf gb fubj gung guvf fghss vf npghnyyl qnatrebhf? Ohg V jbeel znlor vg jnf fbzr xvaq bs gjvfgrq xnezn guvat sbe uvz orvat fhpu n wrex orsber? Vg’f ernyvfgvp gung jvgu ab genvavat naq ab Tnearg uvf arjsbhaq raguhfvnfz jbhyq tb gbb sne. Vg’f whfg… fb znal cbffvoyr vagrecergngvbaf (rira nfvqr sebz nyy gur cybg dhrfgvbaf vg envfrf). Bgbu, znlor vg jnf whfg n jnl gb yrg uvz fgnl ba Ubzrjbeyq sbe n juvyr, juvpu V guvax jvyy or irel tbbq sbe uvf zragny urnygu, tvivat uvz n punapr gb cenpgvpr orvat avpr-ynef jurer gurer’f ab cerpbaprcgvbaf naq rirelbar’f jrveq naq bxnl jvgu orvat jrveq naq… V whfg ybir gur fhccbegvir pbzzrag sebz Syhbevgr. 🙂

          Fb, lrnu V ubcr ur trgf gb fgnl ba Ubzrjbeyq naq qb fbzr punenpgre-ohvyqvat sbe n juvyr. V guvax ur’yy or unccvre gurer. V’z vagrerfgrq gb frr ubj Fnqvr unaqyrf gung orgenlny (V unir ab vqrn jurgure fur’yy zbir ba be jung), naq ubj zhpu Ynef fgvpxf uvf sbbg va uvf zbhgu jura gurl zrrg ntnva 😉

        31. Rukduk

          Sorry I’m late about coming here to offer my support. I was at work. I understand well the feeling of just being drained, exhausted, and in a bad headspace after going to therapy and just having a rough day afterwards. I don’t think you need to apologize for anything. A lot of us go through similar experiences and can empathize. I won’t saw that a lot of us experience the same thing, because that’s a lie. We’re all different individuals, and this makes all of our feelings and experiences, no matter how similar, different at some level. On the one hand, that fact in and of itself is beautiful and amazing because we all matter and are unique, on the other hand it’s annoying because you can never fully understand another person, which leads to problems of communication and unnecessary fear. Sorry to get all philosophically wishy washy and of track, what I’m trying to say is…don’t worry about having had a bad day and what you might have commented as a result, we’re a really empathic group. And it’s nice that we can be. I hope you’re feeling better. And don’t worry about “freaking out in the comments”. I think about half of the purpose of this comments section is a form of group support and therapy.

        32. Spaz

          Steven Universe spoiler translation: Rocks fall, everyone is transported to Gravity Falls, Oregon, where Stanford Pines reunites with his old criminal buddy, Rick Sanchez, and his grandson, Morty (see the Film Theory Rick/Morty Gravity Falls episode for details on this interaction).

          The episode ended on a cliffhanger, which will be resolved in the July 15th movie/season premiere of Star vs. the Forces of Evil.

        33. Halpful

          “And don’t worry about “freaking out in the comments”. I think about half of the purpose of this comments section is a form of group support and therapy.”

          Heck, it’s practically a rite of passage by now 😉

        34. Emily

          I mean it’s really more of a case of “breaking up with a mentally ill person who is making no moves towards getting treatment and instead just takes out their issues on you be it intentional or not” to which Ruth and Billie provide a pretty good counterpoint.

      2. Temperaryobsessor

        Danny overinvests in his girlfriends. Until he solves that all his romantic relationships will be unhealthy.

  67. Derek

    I’m just going to pretend Mary had an off screen epiphany and decided to become a better person. Now we will never see her again as she dedicates her life to ended injustices against oppressed people.

  68. Karishi

    This girl needs a real-and-actual fucking hobby.
    This “abuse random people for perceived slights” non-hobby is just such a waste of everyone’s time and energy.

    1. zoelogical

      lmao very agreed

      apparently the drawing manga is doing nothing. let’s get her into track: she can be alone, she can put her body through excruciating pain, and she can spend a lot of time practicing away from her dorm

  69. AgentKeen

    Frightening.

  70. BenRG

    Well! Mary’s in a good mood and, like Carla, I’m more than a little freaked out by it!

    Probably she’s happy that she thinks she has leverage over Ruth and Billie. However, she seems to be wearing her best outfit right now. That makes me wonder if she had a successful date last night and that’s left her in a ‘sunshine and flowers’ mood!

    1. Cerberus

      That is possible as endorphins are a thing and if she had a pleasant date she’s coming home from, she might not be in the mind to scrap with the “sinners” and “let them bring her good mood down”.

  71. zoelogical

    so….it’s really weird to me that so many people are struggling with Mary’s niceness in the strip tonight. like: none of this feels out of character to me. she can be this person, and still have been the person who tossed transphobic slurs at Carla as if she were nothing. like: she’s like this because she thinks she won.

    but also I kind of get it, because, like: it’s so different from her normal demeanor. it’s offsetting. it makes you think Mary could actually be a good person, just because she said something nice this one time. she’s capable of it! she could put her mind to it, if she really tried! and she could. but the thing is: she doesn’t, and most of the time she doesn’t want to.

    Mary can afford to be nice to Carla now, because she can be magnanimous in victory. It makes her feel more victorious, because she thinks that in the next moment she can squash Carla under her perfect Mary Jane soles. it’s a power trip, like literally everything with Mary seems to be.

    like: the surrealism of this has not escaped me, Believe Me, haha. there is a level of which average courtesies are really…performative in nature. not that they aren’t genuine: but they can be faked, too. it costs very little to tell someone that their hair looks nice. it’s a normal brief social interaction.

    but like…pretty much every time i call my parents, this is what it’s like for me. like: the last couple weeks, i’ve been avoiding calling because i knew that they had some Drama brewing. my dad *had* to put a lock on the fridge so that my sister would stop eating because she’s overweight and obviously that is the best way to help someone who’s overweight, right. so i avoided calling, because i need to stop being their emotional mediator, and because a therapist is the appropriate place for them to talk about their issues. and also a therapist would be getting paid, which i would not!!

    but like: last week, I called. and none of this was brought up, even though I knew it was happening or had happened. instead it was very nice. almost pleasant. my dad especially; my mom’s never been able to process her emotions the way he does. and it was because they wanted me to come visit, and were invested in just – making me want to come.

    and for like five whole seconds i wanted to go – but you can always see the flashes of awful around the corners. reflecting from things they’ve done, things you know they could do. the guilt trips they set. and all that niceness is just…

    i mean, for my parents, it’s something they want to be. they want to believe they have a good relationship with me. they want to believe i would want to come home. they just aren’t interested in putting in the work to be healthy people to be around, because that would mean that something was wrong with them, lo and behold. because literally no one in the world has ever needed a therapist and been an ok person. because needing a therapist makes you weak, or insufficient, or something

    Mary doesn’t care about any of that. she just wants what she wants, which makes her pretty simple to predict but also even more devastatingly effective.

    1. Halpful

      *AGOS*

      That manipulative niceness makes my skin crawl.

      1. zoelogical

        yup!!! and it’s like. so gaslighty. because literally every time i talk to them i feel crazy. like i don’t know what i know. like i’m just being ridiculous. like i could just trust, and maybe this time lucy won’t kick the football

        i don’t know if that’s better or worse than pre-emptively escalating conflict where it can be controlled

        either way like The Manipulative Niceness, It Sucks

    2. Cerberus

      Okay, yeah, that makes sense and would explain why it’s so unsettling. My mom’s an expert on these interactions. Did you tell me that my husband has been harassing you and trying to force you into reparative therapy, well let’s talk meaningless other stuff with me play-acting we have a happy normative mother-daughter relationship.

      Also *hugs offered* for what you’re dealing with from the parental units.

      1. zoelogical

        yeaah.

        idk like i’ve built up this habit of looking at people’s actions before I look at their words, and interpreting those words through the weight of their actions. like: they have not stopped being who they are based on how they make you feel or what they are doing at the moment. i haven’t super figured out how to integrate that into, like, a philosophy of Being Chill With People I Don’t Like as a self-protective thing but i’m sure it’s out there. because like – if you fly off the handle at someone who is at the moment doing nothing, it’s really easy for them to turn that around on you and become the innocent victim. gaslighting!!!!!

        with family it’s different because people put so much into the idea of these relationships making them happy that not having them turn out the way they want is super painful. because we don’t teach people that other people are not theirs to own, and that their perceptions do not make up the sum of other people, and that you have to be true to your self and have moral standards before you can be there for other people. but meanwhile, the fantasy of being a happy family is super compelling. if sometimes harmful, especially when it takes the place of actually dealing with the problems in the family.

        *hugs* for what you’ve dealt/are dealing with from both of your parentals

      2. foamy

        It’s also an avoidance mechanism. You go with inconsequentialities and small talk because dealing with major issues, your own or others, is exhausting, difficult, and sometimes beyond your ability. There’s no small number of people in these comments, for example, who’ve expressed that they’ve had suicidal ideation, or attempts, but how often do people bring that up in the ordinary course of trying to make bad puns about the topic of the day? It’s not necessarily a malicious thing.

        Though it’s 100% so here. This is Mary screwing with Carla’s head, which has some similarities to how Carla set up the pie scenario…

  72. newllend(henryvolt)

    Either she’s moved on or she’s actually planning something new.

  73. Eldritch Gentleman

    Who knows, maybe she mixed up the Churches and instead of “All are sinners and need to burn! Except for us.” she got one that is like “God loves all and you should too” and it’s still sticking to her heretical skin for now.

    1. zoelogical

      she’s a unitarian universalist now!! the horror!

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        What even is that group? The number of Christian sects in US genuinely confuses me O_o

        1. zoelogical

          they’re pretty much about loving and accepting everybody, and embracing different viewpoints

          have the highest ranking in acceptance of homosexuality
          http://religionnews.com/2015/06/30/ranking-churches-on-acceptance-of-homosexuality-plus-their-reactions-to-scotus-ruling/

        2. Eldritch Gentleman

          Seem like nice folks. This is the group Sierra belongs to?

        3. MatthewTheLucky

          We’re not really Christian, although the founding members were.

        4. Eldritch Gentleman

          Sorry, I’m just really confused by all those religious groups in US. Over here most are Catholics with Jehovah Witnesses sprinkled here and there. Oh and some of those Eastern Orthodox.

        5. zoelogical

          huh

          do y’all fall under the heading of any particular religion, or are you just kind of doing your own thing?

        6. Vulcanodon

          Adlai Stevenson was UU, a member of the congregation here in Bloomington, IL. He ran for president against Eisenhower. Imagine a Unitarian Universalist candidate today!

        7. Marsh Maryrose

          Back in the 70s, my dad (an economist) had a short-term consulting job in Saudi Arabia. One of the documents required by the Saudi government was a letter from a minister attesting to his being a Christian. (One assumes that they were less concerned with him being a Christian than with him not being Jewish.)

          This caused our minister some head-scratching, as the modern UU church is not Christian in any sense other than historical association. Apparently he managed to come up with some acceptably-worded document, probably invoking a Christian heritage or tradition.

          As for Mary, it’s conceivable (however remotely) that some road-to-Damascus experience might convince her to change to a liberal Christian denomination — they are out there, although in Indiana they might be harder to find. But I just can’t imagine Mary being comfortable in a church in which pagans and atheists and Buddhists are sitting right next to her.

          And now, only vaguely apropos, some satire from Jon Carroll. I don’t know if he is himself UU, but he’s obviously quite familiar with the UU fondness for doing everything by committee.

          A message from the Unitarian Jihad

          “People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.”

  74. chris73

    Testing

    1. Jhon

      bBzzzxxxxwwfffrrrttt??

  75. Danni

    marys being…..nice? what universe is this?

  76. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Nothing’s more disconcerting than a bigot play-acting nice.

    And it’s extra disconcerting because we know Mary is of the mind that she’s dispatched her main check against her with her power-play against Ruth and Billie. And we also know that Mary has been angling multiple times to continue her harassment of Carla so it is exceedingly unlikely that she’s decided against that course of action.

    And it definitely throws Carla for a loop and ends her nice happy smiley mood. And that Panel 3 is the look of severe mistrust and fear when a known bigot starts openly complimenting your looks as a trans woman, because it’s only a matter of time before a really big shoe drops.

    And its also hard to push back against. And we see that in Panel 4 with Carla just going with a genuine confused thank you, because what else do you say to that? She’s not being horrible… yet. But that’s not exactly a thing you can trust.

    1. JBento

      Do you know what I find really weird? Those are actually happy, non-mean smiles by Mary – contrast her expressions here to those in the meeting with Ruth, where we get evil smiles. But here, even in the first panel before their interaction begins, Mary’s just smiling to herself instead of looking at Carla with a “and now to put her off guard before I strike” expression.

      I mean, I suppose it’s nice that she’s happy without hurting anyone in the process, but it’s like seeing a bull shark walking into a diner and ordering a salad. Even if it does just eat the salad and leave, you keep half-expecting the thing to just spaz out and eat everyone.

      1. Danni

        what happened in that 3 day period?

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          Rapture came and Mary was so traumatized by the fact that she was not taken that she is desperately trying to be a decent human being.

      2. Cerberus

        You’re right. It’s just, ah, what a morning, hello Carla, your hair is pretty, I’m having a good day, which yeah, is deeply disconcerting. And you’re right about it being like a shark ordering salad on land. It’s like, wait, what?

        And it’s even more “what?” because it’s a gender affirming comment, complimenting the hair being down and in Mary’s religion at the moment, making a gender affirming comment for a trans person is a downright evil act because you are supporting “someone rejecting God’s holy plan for them and thus stating that God makes mistakes”.

        But it’s not an evil smile, it doesn’t seem to be disingenuous, at least from the outside, and it’s probably the nicest she’s been on panel (scrolls through archive), wow, ever.

        So yeah, definitely feeling Carla’s “did I just step into the Twilight Zone*” takeaway.

        *(The place is a madhouse/Feels like being cloned/My beacon’s been moved/Under moon and star)

        1. Rukduk

          Honestly, and I can’t believe I’m saying this and simultaneously I want to clearly state that I am not endorsing or excusing any of Mary’s past actions (because I know if I don’t say this I will be perceived as doing that), I kinda wonder if Mary is bipolar and doesn’t like taking her medicine or something, and one of the ways she makes herself feel better about herself is by antagonizing people and being a self righteous, hypocritical, hateful bongo. Because this panel just genuinely throws me off. Like, aside from how she normally acts all we really know is that she likes drawing. Maybe she’s happy because she got a good grade on an important project. Or maybe Roz’s room transfer request finally went through and Mary’s just as happy to have a different roommate as Roz is. Or maybe she’s finally figured out the rest of the hall hates her and she’s trying to change her image. So many possibilities are filtering through my head right now.

        2. Spaz

          highly unlikely that Roz’s transfer came through, unless Billie transferred out first. Roz was pissed about being bumped for Billie IIRC.

        3. Thulcandran

          I, uh, am not sure that’s how bipolar works? I mean, I know it works differently for everyone, but my bipolar doesn’t resemble that in any way shape or form, and I’ve never ever seen it manifest like that for anyone else, either. Bipolar makes you miserable because your heart rate is constantly too high and it hurts and you’re panicking for no reason, or because you barely have the energy to get out of bed and need 100% focus on your work to get through the day while hating yourself, but it doesn’t… fundamentally change your personality and beliefs such that you become a bullying bigot when you’re in a polar state?

        4. Halpful

          maybe you were thinking of borderline, not bipolar? I always mix them up because they both start with B, and “BPD” looks just like “bipolar” to my brain’s hashing algorithm. 🙂

          still, probably not the greatest idea to speculate on characters having mental illnesses you don’t have personal experience with. too many ways that can end up hurting people.

        5. Rukduk

          Sorry bout that. Mary was just reminding me of one of my uncles who was depressive bipolar.

      3. zoelogical

        the more i look at it the more i feel like she’s smiling at the fourth wall

  77. JessWitt

    Clearly Mary’s up to something. I’m guessing a ladies’ luncheon based on her outfit. An evil ladies’ luncheon.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Going to visit Ryan in hospital?

  78. Phantom

    Ya know, if it was anyone but Mary, Id say that outfit looks cute. It still does, but, Its MARY.

    1. Bagge

      Mary always dresses in style

  79. Phantom

    Also, yes, I too think Carla with her hair down is a nice look. But now I’m not sure if I should because I then end up sharing an opinion with MARY.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Hitler loved puppies so I think we should just ignore Mary and focus on what we love.

  80. Cmd1095

    I’ll just go get my “damn you Willis” voice ready, I have a sneaking suspicion that I may need it soon.

  81. Remmington Steele

    A Singularity has happened!

  82. Flakky

    Mary the Demon… Oh yes. That’s what they used to call me. Mary the Demon. That was my name.

    I… am Mary the Angel. And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      I am thoroughly disgusted by you putting Mary anywhere near Gandalf… QUICK! To the Mount Doom with her!

      1. Flakky

        You’d better call the eagles then. Imagine getting to Mount Doom in DoA time.

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          Way too much walking, striding and trekking… Probably doing like 4-5 km a day tops…

  83. Delicious Taffy

    So, here’s a fun thing to think about. If every Dumbing of Age character played Overwatch, which hero would they main? I know it’s largely a pointless thing to talk about, but I prefer it over yet more discussion of the darkness.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      I can see Walky maining Reaper to show off how “mature he is”. Alternatively a Genji.
      Joyce strikes me as either Zenyatta or Mercy kind of person.
      Sarah might Main Roadhog, gleefully murdering everything in her way.
      Carla would be probably a Junkrat, loving the mayhem.
      Dorothy might be… a Reinhardt? Responsible and taking care to protect her team-mates?
      Sal… mhm not sure, someone hard to Master but awesome to play?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        I can totally see Joyce liking Zenyatta.
        Carla, though, I figure she’d like one of the builders, like Symmetra.
        I’m kinda surprised you put Walky with Reaper or Genji, what with Winston being on offer.
        Sal seems like a Widowmaker player, if only because of Widow’s spider tattoo.

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          Well I’m not That well-versed, I’m mostly interested in art and characters. I don’t even play xd
          Symmetra… or Torbjorn, laughing at him hammering the turret into place XD
          Oh yeah Monkey Master and Winston would fit his aesthetic. Sarah might play Reaper seeing how they are both made of salt.
          Smirking as she gets a good vantage point and snipes away. Yup sounds like something Sal would enjoy.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Just a rough draft, since there are so many goddamn characters in each. Apologies for how much room it takes up.

      Ana – ????
      Bastion – Marcie
      D.Va – Amber
      Genji – Robin
      Hanzo – Jason
      Junkrat – Ruth
      Lúcio – Malaya
      McCree – Danny
      Mei – Dina
      Mercy – Dorothy
      Orisa – Sierra
      Pharah – ????
      Reaper – Sarah
      Reinhardt – Ethan
      Roadhog – Billie
      Soldier: 76 – Joe
      Sombra – Roz
      Symmetra – Carla
      Torbjörn – ????
      Tracer – Becky
      Widowmaker – Sal
      Winston – Walky
      Zarya – Mike
      Zenyatta – Joyce

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Ruth and Billie as Junkrat and Roadhog. Adorable!

        1. Delicious Taffy

          That’s one of my favorite picks. Junkrat and Roadhog give each other endless shit, but they’re also crazy protective of each other.

      2. Flakky

        I think Mike would play Mei. The most trolly hero of them all.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          I thought similarly, but then I realised Zarya’s play style focuses on feeding off the enemy and using it against them, with a special move that puts people right where you want them.

      3. Reltzik

        Sarah’s more of a Pharah. Trying to stay above it all, stay away from people, and raining down a maximum amount of firepower on the head of anyone who threatens her or her loved ones assigned teammates.

        MIKE is Reaper. Lurking, watching carefully, spotting an open, stealthing in when no one notices, shooting people in the back, unleashing hell, and then getting away scot-free.

        1. Rukduk

          That makes a lot of sense. Leslie would probably play Ana or Zarya I think. Also, I don’t know why, but I feel like Jacob would main Torbjorn (can’t figure out the umlaut on my iPod) and just keeping building up turrets.

  84. Hera

    Maybe she met a pastors son and has fallen for him, and they are going on a date soon…

  85. Furthurdead

    My guess as to why Mary is being so ‘nice’ is because she is being counter-blackmailed.

    Remember when Mary had Ruth turning a blind eye to her dickbaggery through threats that she would tell snitch about Ruth’s relationship with Billie? Well, now that the secret is out about Billie and Ruth, Mary has nothing on Ruth, and I doubt that the University looks kindly on blackmailing an RA…

    1. Tarmaniel

      I’m going to go with the assumption that Ruth hasn’t yet recovered from Clint and Rachel’s verbal teardowns and Mary is reveling in the schadenfreude.

    2. Cerberus

      That’d be a good shout, but it seemed like she defanged that during the meeting when she went after Billie. Like, she, by all rights, feels she has power over her counter-blackmailer, but she’s not using a centimeter of that to be anything less than pleasant to a major target of hers and it doesn’t even seem to be the “faux niceness” she put on previously with Roz and everyone when she was “keeping her nose clean”.

  86. podian

    …we are in a dream sequence, aren’t we?

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Have you asked anybody to pinch you?

  87. Beef

    That’s a good look for Mary, though I can still see the hellfire in her eyes. She should work on that.

  88. brasca1

    Well in at least one alternate timeline Mary is a marginally better person than this Mary.

  89. Joe Covenant

    How often do characters break the 4th wall?
    I don’t ‘think’ I can recall ever seeing this happen before?

    (And breaking the 4th wall to ruminate upon “falling into an alternative universe” is kinda fitting, giving our collective feeling of *limbo*)

    1. Schpoonman

      I wouldn’t consider this a 4th wall break. Carla’s an engineer and probably a bit of a nerd, I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that she’s aware of multiverse theory.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Yep, no real breakage, leaning on it at most.

  90. DarkoNeko

    *shivers*

  91. Joe Covenant

    AN odd thing…

    Yesterday, I made a post riffing on Dorothy waking up… and it being like Wizard of Oz…
    (“And you were there, and you were there… No, Faz, you were NOT there!”)

    But now.. it’s nowhere to be found…

    SO… did *I* dream it!?!

  92. Vulcanodon

    I was wondering last night if these happy little domestic scenes are all in Dorothy’s head, as she keeps insisting everything is fine and nothing happened to the doctors who have her under observation.

  93. Vukodlk

    Maybe just maybe she’s practicing rule of acquisition 76

    “Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the Hell out of your enemies.”

  94. Daniel

    I would leave town IMMEDIATELY.

  95. Joey245

    You know, I feel like for all the hate Mary gets, she does have a few valid points every now and then.

    For instance, Carla DOES look good with her hair down.

    1. zoelogical

      broken clock tells time accurately twice a day, viewers are amazed

  96. hof1991

    Eyes on the prize! Don’t be distracted by Danny and Joe or Carla and Mary. Disaster is around the corner when we finally return to Amber and Dorothy.

    1. thejeff

      We’re never returning to them. The entire rest of the school year will just be happy characters doing happy things. Never seeing or even mentioning Amber or Dorothy.

      As we cringe more and more, waiting for the shoe to drop.

      1. zoelogical

        in five years ryan is the first to rise from the parking lot he was buried in for the zombie apocalypse

      2. Riku

        Happy things? Danny becoming Ukulele Guy is NOT a happy thing ;-;

    2. foamy

      I’m half wondering how many other characters we can check on before we find out anything. Tomorrow: Ethan argues about Transformers?

      1. Riku

        Ethan and Mike go back to their forum duo. A quick checkup and Sayid and Bryan. Sierra. Grace. Molly. Actually I’m surprised we got to see a bit of Joyce considering one of her best friends was involved.

  97. Peter Sadlon

    Definitely closer to the puppy thing.

  98. JBento

    Didn’t have time yesterday, so I wanted to extend thanks to everyone who took the time to confirm the stuff about the Comey hearing to me.

  99. JBento

    Question to the UK folks: do I understand correctly that the election results have led to an agreement between the Tories and the UK equivalent of the Tea Party?

    1. BenRG

      No, it is an alliance between the Conservatives and the Democratic Unionist Party, the political party in Ulster that wants the province to remain part of the United Kingdom. The’ve been long natural allies and they propped up the Major government in the mid-1990s for a while too.

      The DUP are somewhat religious but so are all Ulster-native political parties. However, I’d consider them fairly centrist in total. Certainly, they are no unconditional fans of Brexit and would certainly want guarantees about cross-border travel and trade with Eire as a condition of any formal alliance.

      1. Daibhid C

        For “somewhat religious” read “actual Young Earth Creationists who are why NI is the only part of the UK that doesn’t have marriage equality.” Mary would probably love them.

        1. JBento

          I had missed the YEC part, but I heard climate change deniers and anti-choice, either of which would be good enough reasons for me to wish meteorite upon them.

        2. StClair

          put all three together and you’ve got grounds for actual plagues and/or smiting.

        3. JBento

          A “plague of religious fundamentalists” sounds like an accurate collective noun.

        4. CJ

          Northern Ireland has lots of fundi protestant sects, also united in their believe that NI must be part of the UK or they’ll be eaten by catholic Eire.

        5. CJ

          All, not also

    2. JBento

      Thanks everyone for the intel.

    3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Bear in mind, this will cause fractiousness in the less fundie parts of the tories, and will likely accelerate the crash of the Tories that will lead to the next election in 2018-2019, where, if current trends are maintained, Jezza will eat the tories with a jam glaze.

    4. Remmington Steele

      Far worse.

      They are terrorist supporters closely linked with the UDA, UVF, Red Hand Commando.

      May has a notional majority of 2, with 1 MP having been charged with fraud.

  100. demoncat_4

    i have to go with puppy for an alternate time line would have mary being as nice as she just was more so. in fact i would go with mary having a whole bunch of puppies for breakfast

  101. Harvey Janus

    Honestly the worst thing about Mary in this strip is that she’s kinda right. Carla looks really good with her hair down as opposed to a ponytail.

  102. Roborat

    I can’t help but think that Carla’s next thought should be:

    “She must have shaved off the goatee.”

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      That’s for darkest timeline selves, which if you look around…

      No, I meant in the comic!

  103. Li

    So, surely we can now officially lay to rest any lingering doubts about whether or not Carla actually makes a noticeable amount of noise on her skates, right?

    Cuz Mary sure doesn’t seem to notice anything now that she’s got her sights on a different target. 🙂

    1. Emily

      That doesn’t really say anything about how much noise Carla is making it just tells us Mary is a giant hypocrite which is not news at all.

      1. Li

        …Yes it does? If Carla were making a level of noise actually worth commenting on, Mary would have some sort of reaction to it. A wince, a frown, a sneer, anything at all. So would Joyce, frankly, the other day when she said she didn’t think people are allowed to skate in the halls.

        1. thejeff

          But she isn’t trying to study, so why would it bother her?

          Or she’s so focused on whatever’s making her so happy that she barely noticed.

          Or of course, she was just using that as an excuse.

        2. Li

          Like I said to Emily down below, Mary (and many people in the comments) was previously claiming that this noise level was unbearable, through a door, and down a hall.

          I find it deeply suspicious that that same “unbearable” noise, at a louder volume (due to the absence of previous barriers), doesn’t even seem to register.

          Mary gave Carla a passive-aggressive compliment on her femininity. Why not a passive-aggressive compliment on her skates, too, if they really bother her in the same way that Carla’s transness really bothers her?

      2. Li

        Like, Mary complaining wouldn’t tell us anything, because we know Mary is biased against Carla to begin with, but her lack of complaint indicates that nothing about this noise actually bothers her.

        1. Emily

          I mean when you’re in a good mood you’re generally less likely to mind minor sources of irritation simply because you’re in a better headspace that doesn’t magically mean those things never annoy you ever it just means you’re more inclined to overlook them just like when you’re in a bad mood you’re more likely to take inordinate issue with them.

          Like we KNOW Mary is a giant transphobe and yet she’s being pleasant to Carla which doesn’t mean she isn’t actually repulsed by Carla having the audacity to exist and she was just pretending to be a jerk it just means she’s in such a good mood that it’s not enough to get to her.

        2. Li

          A couple of points.

          1.) Mary’s not actually being pleasant to Carla. Her compliment is specifically directed towards Carla’s femininity. That shit is targeted. It is not in any way similar to how she seems to completely have failed to notice what she — and plenty of people in the comments! — previously claimed was an unbearable level of noise even when down the hall and through her door. A noise level she previously couldn’t help noticing even when in a neutral mood (as far as we know!) to start with, which is now much, much closer to her and should be much, much more irritating, is mysteriously inaudible to her.

          Meanwhile, Mary isn’t failing to notice that Carla is trans. She’s commenting on it, passive-aggressively, knowing full well that this compliment will make Carla feel weird and out of sorts.

          2.) Like, if the skates were being treated the same way Carla’s transness is being treated, Mary would have said, “So glad to see you got new skates!”, or commented on the skates and the noise level in literally any other way.

          3.) I don’t really understand your comparison, but the hypothetical Mary who was “just pretending to be a transphobe” and hurling violent transphobia at Carla in her pretense would not in any way be less of a jerk. People who say offensive stuff “just to get a rise out of people”, who “aren’t racist, [they] just hate everyone equally” are not actually as free from bigotry as they think they are. If you’re willing to hurt people for a pretense, it’s because you’ve decided those people’s feelings aren’t terribly important, which means you’re dehumanizing them, which you’re probably suspiciously more likely to do to marginalized folks, despite all of your hypothetical protests to the contrary.

  104. Tenn

    An angry Mary is hilarious.

    A smug Mary is infuriating.

    A friendly Mary is terrifying.

    1. Dave

      Whatever she is plotting, she is seriously mistaken if she thinks she’ll get away with it.

  105. Gesc

    Where are the things she wears on her wrists and neck? This could be nega-Mary for all we know.

  106. Spaz

    Theorizing: The Meatbag known as “Mary” is off to attend a Westboro Baptist Church protest on campus.

    Thoughtful. They are probably there to support the good, Christian son of a pastor who was ‘falsely’ accused of rape by a ‘pack of rabid lesbians,’ before getting stabbed, slashed, or otherwise finding his bodily fluids outside of his body at the business end of his own knife.

    1. Vulcanodon

      Possible. They could be gathering outside Dorothy’s hospital room that they somehow found out about.

  107. March

    WTF is this asshat up to?

  108. Jhon

    Mary has just seen a T. rex being lowered into a sarlac pit.
    (check xkcd’s ‘What If’)

  109. Robin Lionheart

    Smile! It makes people wonder what you’re up to.

  110. TH1S 1S YOU D4V3

    Please, Mary. Please, just try to do something. We all want more reasons to hate you.

  111. Also Becky

    This is only thing Mary will ever be right about.

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