362

Listen to me
Posted on September 18, 2016 by David M Willis

362 thoughts on “Listen to me”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Sadly, Bidoof isn’t a generation 1 Pokemon, or I could combine him with Krabby in Pokemon Fusion and show you all what a KRABOOF actually looks like.

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      Sadly isn’t the right world. Relievingly, maybe.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I want you to imagine the parallel universe where Bidoof is the only Pokemon available when Ash gets to Professor Oak’s, and is now one of the most recognizable characters in the world.

        Imagine the Bidoof pencil cases, the pajamas, the underroos. Imagine the giant Bidoof in the Macy’s parade, and the shelves filling even now with Bidoof costumes for Halloween.

        Whenever life sucks and you are feeling down, just remember that your life could be the exact same, but in THAT reality.

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          That’s the worst part of the many-worlds interpretation. Somewhere in the multiverse Bidoof must be well liked.

        2. MatthewTheLucky

          Time to declare war on the multiverse I suppose.

        3. Orion Fury

          Whelp, we had a good run.

        4. 3oranges

          You will be fighting an army of sapient Bidoof that play games where they capture and train different humans to fight. They can do this because they have evolved to walk on their hind legs. Their leader is Scrappy B’Doof. Can you keep your sanity long enough to win? Good luck to you.

        5. MatthewTheLucky

          Sanity is just holding me back!

        6. Freddie!

          Holding you back wih what? its claws?

        7. EvilMidnightLurker

          Isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, ooh-ooh-ooh, the sky’s the limit!

        8. The Other Mike

          I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

        9. Slacker

          Da da dada da Daaaa, Poke Power!

        10. Tan

          Fun fact: of the infinite universes that recognize some concept of a multiverse, over half are at war with it.

        11. perlhaqr

          No, wait! I just saw that episode of Star Trek! It doesn’t go well. I propose we leave the peaceful (but oh, so strange) Bidoof loving denizens of that universe to their bizarre ways.

        12. Durandal_1707

          We’ve already seen enough accidental suicides from people walking into traffic, off of cliffs, into combine harvesters, into nuclear reactors, etc. because they were chasing Pokémon. We don’t need to make that even worse by introducing ones that require you to do a drop kick.

        13. Clif

          I respectfully disagree.

        14. WaytoomanyUIDs

          Getting arrested is usually not synonymous with committing suicide, even in these troubling times.

        15. Jim the Fish

          A world where Mimikyu disguises itself as Bidoof because it thought it would be able to make friends with humans if only it looked like Bidoof

        16. EvilMidnightLurker

          Mimikyoof?

        17. Lailah

          ….bidoof isn’t that bad though. It’s just kind of a solidly meh rattatta.

        18. The Other Mike

          So I guess a meh Rattata wouldn’t be in the top percentage of Rattata.

        19. Robert

          If Bidoof was a first generation pokemon then no one would be playing Pokemon Go! right now…because the franchise would have killed itself over a decade ago.

    2. Mr. Random

      You don’t need the website. The way it works would be that you use the face and color palette of the former with the body of the latter.
      So a normal bidoof with red instead of brown and then bug-out eyes.

    3. Haven

      fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak pokemon stronger

      1. Orion Fury

        Or hold back power for dramatic reveal?

      2. Doctor_Who

        Just wait until I combine Pokemon Ruby and Pokemon Sapphire to create the ultimate game, Pokemon Garnet!

        1. EvilMidnightLurker

          What if you combine Pokemon Omega Ruby and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire?

        2. AGV

          Delta Garnet or Gamma garnet?

        3. ety

          Shouldn’t you really have gone with Emerald there… I mean I get your reference, but I’m still torn on that one.

      3. Mom

        Yay Steven Universe fans!!

    4. Binky

      Who needs Pokémon Fusion when you can do a terrible job of it yourself?
      https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19011826/Kraboof.png

      1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        10/3. Excellent abomination.

      2. Roborat

        So, Pokémon meets Fallout 4.

  2. Ana Chronistic

    I will gladly accept your satisfying kicks as punch-substitutes, Willis!

    1. Gespenst

      When it’s that satisfying, you’d have to be pretty stone-hearted to not accept it.

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      So instead of using the phone to figure out who amazi-girl is and get her arrested for her vigilante actions he just phones a friend? DING*

      this guy’s friend didn’t ignore a phone call from a phone number he’s never seen. DING*

      Wait, he was using his phone and not amazi-girls? as smart as that is i’m adding another sin for the momentary confusion. DING*

      broken jaw check, whip-lash check, road burns check, congratulations amazi-girl you’ve just handed the ass-hole victory in a lawsuit. It doesn’t help that there aren’t any witnesses and the law clearly states that you attacking a fleeing assailant than you can be charged with assault. DING*

      Now I know what your thinking, sal can just back her up, and your right in an ideal world but, these days her say is in the same league as this guys modeling career. DING*

      – this joke brought to you by cinema sins

      mentions are put at the end of the joke rather than the beginning basically guaranteeing he gets flack from all the fans who don’t read the full comment. DING*

      total sins = 6
      sentence: Marcie’s disapproval stare!

      1. Ana Chronistic

        Everything wrong with Dumbing of Age in 5 minutes?

        1. Clif

          It takes 5 minutes to say ” nothing much”???

        2. Ana Chronistic

          yeah, ’cause no one’s gonna watch a two-second video, gotta set something up for the ad space

      2. Maxy

        Meh, she’s broken the law a whole bunch. If nothing else, I’m reasonably certain that vigilante justice is itself illegal, and she’s broken and entered at least once.
        She wears that mask for more than one reason.

        1. temporaryobsessor

          Proberly not true. Vigilante justice usually is illegal because things done in its pursuit are illegal. Indiana is a stand your ground state. Amazigirl has personal rules which nicely exploit that fact.
          You really can’t assume masked vigilante actually means shes a criminal.
          Amber might not fully understand this herself.

      3. Will

        Uh, he’s not using her phone. At all. It’s blocked.

        1. Will

          Also, “the vigilante kicked me” is kind of a weak lawsuit considering he doesn’t know who she is.

        2. rectilinearpropagation

          Isn’t it impossible to sue someone if you don’t know their identity. IANAL but you can’t charge someone with a crime without being able to name both the victim and the accused.

          Wouldn’t the same rule apply to civil suits?

        3. TheAnonymousGuy

          well some lady sued a couple of girl scouts for ringing her door bell which resulted in her winning the law suite. A man sued a couple because he tried to rob their house while they were away and got trapped in their garage, he also won his case. Some random guy sued Michael Jordon for looking like him. Given that I’m willing to believe any suite can make it

        4. PedantryBot

          A suite is a collection of rooms.

        5. Sage

          The robber in the garage case, at least, is patently false. http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp I’ve never once found confirmation of any lawsuits where a robber screws up and sues the person or parties he’s robbing.

        6. Geneseepaws

          One phone, two phone, red phone, …blue phone, — er, … Maroon… As Bugs would say; “Doc, are you some kinda maroon?”

      4. BenRG

        Did you hear the damage report on Blaine? Amber (for indeed it was her) shattered a couple of ribs. So, Ryan would be hardly the first person that we’ve seen put into long-term care by her.

      5. Liliet

        This isn’t Amber’s phone that he’s calling from, notice the two phones flying in the air from the kick. His is brown, Amazi-girl’s is blue.

        1. TheAnonymousGuy

          I’m going panel by panel and there’s a sin addressing the two phones

        2. PedantryBot

          This is even worse than the people Willis complains about who get mad about things that are addressed in the very next strip.

      6. Sage

        Also, all your “sins” can be addressed with “People are not clear-headed logical thinkers when they’re being pursued by someone who wants to kick the crap out of them and god only knows what else.” Besides, the smart thing to do -is- to hide first.

      7. DRA2840

        He assauted her first, with his friends, and robed her phone. She could win this case in real life if Ryan wasn’t a white-son-of-a-pastor-probably-rich-privileged-male.

        But if he DID sue her, than she’d have his name to label the picture. And she would tell the jury, judge, press, campus… That he roofied a girl on a party. Maybe not the best-case scenario for him. Too much attention.

  3. MatthewTheLucky

    Booya!

  4. Mr. Mendo

    I was hoping for more of a KA-POW, myself…

    1. darkoneko

      to each their own sounds !

    2. miados

      krack a TOE a

      1. Fire_daws

        That sound is reserved for when AG fights Ross.

      2. MrZombieScordo

        Toe peek a

  5. Yakkorex

    Very nice. I approve.

  6. Wikidreamer

    Ska-DOOSH muthafuger!

  7. shadowcell

    the terror that kraboofs in the night

    1. Needfuldoer

      The half-a-grapefruit in your balanced breakfast.

  8. butts

    Man, how hard did she hit him? He’s going flying.

    1. Fart Captor

      NOT HARD ENOUGH

      1. butts

        Head still attached to shoulders? NOT HARD ENOUGH.

        1. Fart Captor

          I don’t think ANY part of his body is going to reach orbit with that trajectory! ROOKIE MISTAKE

        2. Reltzik

          Nonono, it still works if you hit him hard enough that he bounces into orbit.

        3. Orion Fury

          Is his spleen currently orbiting India? NOT HARD ENOUGH!

        4. Shawn L.

          No, going into orbit means he dies of suffocation, A rather peaceful way to die.

        5. Betty Anne

          Unless he travels to orbit fast enough and high enough to die of decompression first. ^^;

        6. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          I’m pretty sure he’d be squished by the g-forces first.

        7. Potted Moose

          Betty, you don’t actually decompress in space… you die of suffocation…

        8. Betty Anne

          I consider the effects of ebullism to have more to do with decompression than suffocation, but yes, the worst and least-survivable effects of that set in at about 30 seconds of exposure, while hypoxia sets in deeply enough at about 14 seconds to make the person pass out and could be considered suffocation.

  9. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Nah.  “Drop-kick Me, Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)” is much more appropriate.

      1. Will

        Songs like a really trashy dubstep song, if you ask me.

      2. Stephen R. Bierce

        “Ain’t That a Kick In The Head”?

    2. The Other Mike

      Please. “Another One Bites The Dust.” You can’t go wrong with Queen.

  10. Prof Fool

    That’s gonna leave a scar.

  11. Chromacandi

    Mmm, that’s the sweet smell of catharsis.

    1. Schol-R-LEA

      At least it isn’t The Sweet Smell of Men’s Colon.

      1. brionl

        Worst. Fragrance. Ever.

  12. Cattleprod

    I saw a news blurb about Bono and misread it as Bongo. Made me think of the comments here.

    1. butts

      i got 99 problems but a bongo ain’t one

  13. JepMZ

    Damn, don’t people die by these maneuvers?

    😀

    Just kidding

    1. miados

      to be fair you would be surprised what you can live through.

  14. Hilzabub

    Now she has two phones. Sweet!

    1. Lone Wolf

      Three phones if she takes his!

      1. Chandra

        I bet if she obtained four more phones she could go super.

        1. Reltzik

          Nah. She relies on her combat skills, acrobatics, and sheer guts. If she focused on acquiring tech, she’d be a phone-y. A real cell-out.

        2. Rukduk

          *slow clap*

          Also, the Walky grav makes for great pun service.

        3. Reltzik

          That’s part of why I worked so hard to get it.

    2. David

      Well, two phones with broken screens, that is. I don’t think she has any physics defiance points left after the last panel.

      1. The Other Mike

        I’d bet anything that hers, at least, has an impact-resistant case and screen. (Amazi-Girl is always prepared for anything, after all.)

  15. Shiro

    Ryan is actually attempting to lay low and hide out. Somehow that’s incredibly satisfying.

    Especially since it apparently isn’t going to work.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      It’s time for that scum to get a hospital bed.

      1. (((Mkvenner)))

        Or get a close up look at the bottom of lake Monroe.

        1. Geneseepaws

          Eeeuuuwwww! Pollution like that would need a super-fund to clean the stain.

  16. Commodore Jeep-Eep

    Too slow, stravag.

  17. Van Jealous

    KRABOFF reads more like the brand name of a lice killing product!

    1. fogel

      Which would be appropriate, right?

    2. Potted Moose

      Don’t be insulting lice by comparing tham to *him* 😛

  18. quix

    This is continuing to go much better than I expected.

    1. Woobie

      I know. Things are going well.
      TOO WELL.

      1. Fart Captor

        …or are they going NOT TOO WELL ENOUGH?

  19. darkoneko

    FU. ROH. KRABOOF !

  20. Mollyscribbles

    General rule of thumb: If a friend asks to crash at your place because a superhero is after them, stop being friends with them. Unless you are interested in a career as a supervillain and are aware of the hero’s reasons for going after them. And that said reason isn’t something jerky.

    1. Sam

      Do not keep friends that must run from superheroes to not be punched or kicked in the face.

    2. The Other Mike

      Even if you are interested in supervillainy, at least find friends who have their own evil lairs to crash at.

      1. Cybersnark

        “Don’t lead them back here, idiot!”

      2. Mollyscribbles

        The only exception being if you feel like letting them do the legwork for luring the hero into a trap.

  21. John

    I’m pretty sure drop-kicking people in the head doesn’t go KRABOOF.

    1. Shiro

      Being able to say your own logo gives you special privileges.

      1. Clif

        How many KRABOOFS have you seen, John.

    2. Kernanator

      Have you ever drop-kicked someone in the head?

      1. John

        Um. Yes.

        (Looks like tonight is “mention incidents from Boy Scouts in Willis-comic comments” night.)

        1. Reltzik

          But did you do so over successive trials, with a variety of footwear, and an adequate control group?

        2. Orion Fury

          Not bad, mine was just “Left cause I couldn’t sell any candy bars.”

        3. Rukduk

          We used to sell different types of canned popcorn, like caramel corn and the such. Of course back then I still lived in Michigan… *wistful sigh*

        4. Orion Fury

          Land of Lots-A-Water? Or is that Montana? Hawaii…

        5. Rukduk

          Just change “water” to “lakes and rivers” and you’re correct. Oh and mosquitos. Only bad thing about Michigan is the damn Mosquitos every summer…

        6. Does not Approve

          Man it’s weird seeing my state written out in comments. Usually unless your on one of the coasts, nobody cares.

      2. Joe Archer

        Sadly, yes – a hostage situation resolved. I did not quite get the sound-effects. The visuals were a lot worse, though, hence I assumed that AG hit his chest or shoulder.

        1. Joe Archer

          I gained the height by running up a ramp rather than somersaulting, though. That’s why I missed the chest I was aiming for…

  22. Van Jealous

    Sorry, that was “OFF” not “OFF”. My point still stands, though.

    1. Van Jealous

      OOF OOF OOF OOF!!!! One day I will learn to spell OOF!

      1. Woobie

        B-A-N-A-N-A-S

        1. Orion Fury

          Holla?

        2. trlkly

          Holla back.

  23. Agemegos

    Ryan stole Amazi-Girl’s phone to make a call‽

    1. Shiro

      Look at the third panel again, closely.

    2. Chandra

      Nope, he was his his phone to call his friend. Note that there are 2 phones flying from Ryan’s hands as Amazi-girl “foward-airs” into his clavicle.

      1. Chandra

        Using* his phone. Gosh darn it.

    3. DinaWho

      No, he was talking on his own phone (red case). AG’s phone has the light blue case – he’s holding it in his free hand while he runs, not the hand by his head. You can see both phones go flying when AG collides with him.

    4. Opus the Poet

      No, he’s using his own phone to call, the red one. AG’s phone is the baby-blue one.

  24. Tenchan

    Cue the Batman theme song!!!

    1. miados

      amazigirl would have her own theme

      look out drunk thugs for amazi girl
      she will hunt you down before you can hurl

      AG she is the one to see
      AG she won’t let you go free
      AG she will tie you to a treeeeeeeeeee

  25. Fart Captor

    So, is he talking to one of the bros who already got their asses beat, or another, equally douchey bro?

    1. Just Me

      I was imaging that he was talking to a girl for some reason.

      1. Fart Captor

        Ugh. That is a possibility I had not considered.

      2. trlkly

        Me too, given the bossy tone. The way he talked to his bros was different. “No you listen to me” implies they are fighting over the phone, too.

      3. (((Mkvenner)))

        Mary?

      4. Lovely Monsters

        Yeah, me too, because he was being rude.

    2. Carolyn

      He’s telling the person on the other end to “turn around and come back”. Maybe he got a ride to the rally from another friend?

      1. Fart Captor

        It definitely wasn’t Tyler, Taylor, or Dawson. Those three are still lying in a heap of bruises

  26. Rodimiss

    I’ll gladly accept that Amazi-Girl breaks physics, but I also was struck by the idea of Amber taking a running start and then she jumps into Sal’s hands and Sal tosses her to give her that extra boost to be able to pull off that kick.

    Like, I doubt Sal would agree to it, but this is a superhero team-up. All bets are off when it comes to looking cool.

    1. Shiro

      “…’kay, but only for Joyce.”

    2. John

      SAL: “Fastball special!”

      AMAZI-GIRL: “We can’t call it that, I’m pretty sure it’s a Marvel trademark.”

      1. Orion Fury

        GLA Copyrighted.

        1. Clif

          Gustice League of America. ;-|

        2. Orion Fury

          Great Lake Avengers.

        3. Fart Captor

          Not sure those guys can copyright Wolverine’s move

        4. Orion Fury

          They did.

    3. Reltzik

      “Fine, but only because I get to say I chucked you halfway across the courtyard.”

  27. Mr. Random

    I think she caught up.

  28. Kris

    Wait has anyone made this possible connection yet. Ryan’s a pastor’s son right? What if he’s the son of the pastor at that church Joyce went to last chapter? That’s probably a stretch though.

    1. Tan

      If he was, Joyce would’ve already known him.

      1. Kris

        Oh yeah that makes sense…..but what if though?! O_o

        1. Foxhack

          That could only happen in a Mexican telenovela.

          El Dumbing of Age airs every evening on Telemundo! Right after Dexter and El Chango Master.

          … look, I am not skilled enough to copy their special kind of “Spanish”, okay?

        2. Woobie

          The BEST novelas are on Univision, always.

        3. Reltzik

          Maybe an illegitimate child whose mom was paid to go away, and who knew his father only through letters?

          …. no, he doesn’t get the dignity of a sobby origin story. He’s just an entitled prick.

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      He’s not a pastor’s son. That was a series of lies to get Joyce’s guard down. Actually giving her identifying information would have made no sense.

      1. Reltzik

        Except he kept that part of his story when he abandoned all the rest of it and outright told her he’d been trying to get her to drink that drug all night, and when (on the surface) telling her that was a lie too would have seemed even more demoralizing.

        And he was pissed off enough to tell the truth even if it was bad for him at that point.

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          Huh, forget that part. Still coulda been lying though.

        2. David M Willis

          He wasn’t lying.

        3. Lovely Monsters

          ::fangirl scream::

        4. Orion Fury

          Great, another one fainted.

        5. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          You mean, he’s also a stereotype on top of an attempted rapist AND has a social life that resembles a Saturday morning cartoon villain with his flunkies?
          What new low will Ryan have to his character next?! Leaping Lizards!

        6. MatthewTheLucky

          Dang, that means it’s a plot point!

        7. MatthewTheLucky

          Which is definitely going to be bad!

  29. fogel

    That’s pretty ok!
    (But does kabroof = KO in Amazigirl Super-dialect? He’s not going to get up off the pavement is he?)

    1. Liliet

      Um, KO via kick to a head is strong possibility of permanent brain damage. Hopefully, Amazi-girl isn’t going for that.

      1. Lailah

        Knocking someone unconscious through physical force is pretty likely to fuck them up without immediate medical attention, yes.

    2. fogel

      Since his brain is seriously dysfunctional to start, mayhaps a Amazikick-to-the-Head! ™ will fix him up?

  30. Tacos

    Woot! Drop-kick to the face!

  31. Tan

    Ryan does not do well with final panels. Of the 6 times he has been struck, 5 were final panels (and the remaining one was the same strip he was struck again in the final panel)

    Maybe you should stay away from final panels, Ryan.

    Or quit raping people. That’d be good. In fact that’d be best.

    1. Kris

      “Trying” to rape people. As far as we know he hasn’t raped anyone yet, and trust me that will be a very important detail when he doesn’t get charged and this doesn’t go to court. Amazi-girl on the other hand? Easy assault charge in front of eye witnesses too, who probably take Ryan’s side (at least the bros will) There goes self defense! In fact what’s the statute on assault? Joyce and Sarah might be in trouble!…(This is all heavy sarcasm by the way)

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Leslie’s the one who’d be most willing to testify anyway, and she’s not going to let bias cloud her judgement here.

        1. Kris

          It was just in reference to this chapter starting off with a story of someone in the wrong getting away with their misdeed. Which would be a thematic precursor to the events happening thus far….As well as the reality of how many college rape allegations/investigations generally conclude.

        2. MatthewTheLucky

          True, but that stuff doesn’t usually involve the perp fighting a superhero in a crowded room.

        3. Kris

          Well that same story also ended with the antagonist getting the life choked out of him, which might be a nice thematic precursor to future events….Let’s cross our fingers.

        4. Benjamin Geiger

          Do we know what happened to Leland? I presume there’ll be a continuation of that flashback at some point.

        5. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          I was told Ryan and Leland were two different people. Ryan also, even with the scar, has a prettier face than Leland has much hope of turning out with at this age without plastic surgery.

          Wouldn’t surprise me if that was Leland Ryan was on the phone with, however.

      2. ischemgeek

        Ryan was too confident and polished with his MO for that to be a first attempt.

        Just cuz he hasn’t been shown on screen as raping anyone doesn’t mean he hasn’t.

        Ryan reminds me of a serial rapist who I used to go to high school with – same MO, same tendency to lean on respectable parent to seem like a good kid, same entitlement, same sexism, same ability to put on a nice act while other people are around… That guy had raped literally dozens of times before he was caught the first time at 17 (an obnoxious Canadian legal loophole meant he got out at 19, went straight back to business as usual when he got to college… and was then caught again when someone interrupted an attempt and the cops ran his DNA and discovered, hey, this guy is that guy linked to like 20-odd rape kits. Legal case is currently winding through the system – but young white athletic male, so I have approximately zero hope he’s actually going to see any real consequence.

        Ryan types don’t get that smooth at it without practice. Joyce wasn’t his first mark. Hell, I’d be shocked if she’s in his first ten.

        1. Romanticide

          holy shit that is terrifying D:

    2. Orion Fury

      You know, if you could just stop with the raping, that’d be super.

    3. Idontcarenomore

      We don’t know he hasn’t raped other girls though. He was fairly smooth going after Amber.
      And his statement to his ‘bros’, while getting ready to pound on AG while she was being held down….makes me think that changes are much better that he has raped before.

      1. Sam

        This is true, and his tactic with Joyce was a solid way to trick an innocent person (hit it off, suggest playing games, wait a few minutes then say you couldn’t find anyone who wanted to play, slip a drug in her drink, wait for it to take effect). The only reasons he failed are because he ran out of patience and Sarah had a bat – it doesn’t seem like something a first timer would know to do unless he had some weird creepy mentor.

        1. Eyebrow

          Plus his insult to Amazigirl,”you’re just jealous no-one’s ever wanted to drug *your* fat ass.”

          Sounds like drugging a girl is just his way of saying he likes her.

        2. ety

          He ran out of patience only after the drug was about to take effect and she was still avoiding private spaces. He just didn’t want her passing out around witnesses. Not to mention, the trick he used to get her to drink the drugs was downright studied. She had flat-out refused the drink several times prior and in fact never actually accepted it.

  32. Lypher01

    Master of Tai Kwan Leap she is. She gave that guy a boot to the head. https://youtu.be/Z8VD4JXUozM

    1. Lypher01

      Here’s the song I thought was in the first link. https://youtu.be/ZljpTx_tJ78

    2. Benjamin Geiger

      NYAH NYAH!

    3. Disloyal Subject

      Only one result for Ctrl+F ‘Boot to the head’? I’m disappointed, though it’s nice to hear the Tai Kwon Leep one for once instead of the skit whose audio was pasted so perfectly over Phoenix Wright animations.

  33. DinaWho

    I’m wondering if there’s going to be a ~dramatic reveal~ of who he was calling (if it’s a character we know)

    1. Does not Approve

      Just watch it be Mary.

      1. Clif

        Watching to see if you’re right. If so, that would be a tremendous call.

        1. Inspector Hound

          I like it except for one problem: Mary has been quite vocal about the inherent evil of the Desantos, even small cereal-eating ones. I don’t see her giving a lift to a Desanto volunteer to or from a Desanto rally.

        2. Dr. T

          She is not above hypocrisy. That has long been a defining feature of her character.

        3. trlkly

          Just driving the guy there but not actually sticking around wouldn’t really be hypocritical. Heck, the reason she doesn’t want to come back might be that she hates DeSanto.

          (I use her last name because it’s her as a politician.)

  34. Kernanator

    I love weird sound effects.

  35. Train Moblin

    so is no one going to mention that he was talking to someone

    1. Orion Fury

      It’s what I’m hunting for. Nothing overly deep, aside from a possible girlfriend from what I’ve seen so far.

      1. inqntrol

        I don’t think Ryan is the type for maintaining long term relationships.

        1. Deanatay

          Maybe if she was submissive and did whatever he told her to. Possibly a former victim, too insecure to realize dominance and abuse isn’t love.

    2. Captain Whoever

      I assumed it was one of the bros that already got away.

      1. Captain Whoever

        Wait no, it can’t be as he says ‘hang out at your place.’ Hmm. Agree with inqntrol though – this guy doesn’t strike me as the relationship type.

  36. JJJ

    And the connection between Sal’s phone and this congruence of Ryan’s head and Amazi-Girl’s boot shall soon become clear…

    1. MichaelO

      Find My iPhone????

  37. Reltzik

    Silly Ryan.

    You think darkness is your ally. But you merely absconded in the dark. Amazi-girl was born in it. Molded by it. She didn’t see the light until she was BOOTTOTHEHEAD!

    1. Carolyn

      And one more for Jenny and the wimp!

      1. Orion Fury

        A rabid Tasmanian Devil is too nice for Ryan.

        1. Spaz

          a rabid, face-cancery Tasmanian Devil is too nice for Ryan.

    2. Roborat

      Now we just need the narrator to yell out:” Four on the Floor!”

  38. Cholma

    Ryan will now be singing, “Dropkick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life)”. His posse will sing backup. Oh, wait, they’re not called “posse” anymore, right? “Squad”, that’s it. His squad will sing backup!

  39. Dex

    Little does Ryan know that Amber has mastered the Dragoon class.

    1. Spencer

      No wonder she’s doing so little damage. She forgot to equip a spear.

  40. Lone Wolf

    So satisfying to see an asshole like that getting dunked on repeatedly.

  41. Saxa

    It looks like he’s bleeding out from his scar in the last panel.

    1. Fart Captor

      He was running, and is now about to faceplant onto asphalt. If he’s not bleeding now, he’s gonna be.

  42. JessWitt

    Whoa, she swooped in like some flying mammal out of hell.

    1. Spaz

      almost like some kind of…….Spider Car!

      1. Needfuldoer

        Amazi-Girl is Spider-Car confirmed!

  43. spriteless

    AmaziGirl is hidden by the word baloon in panel 3 she is somersaulting so high.

  44. LS

    I’m kinda curious what the endgame will be here. Without a police report on file at the time of the incident, I imagine going to the cops is a dubious option at best. But no amount of beating him up would be sufficient here.

    1. Victor Riley

      No, but she is plastering his face on social media, and she is stopping him from stopping her. Or trying to… this could be the ideal moment where the cops show up and try to take her into custody.

    2. Fart Captor

      There won’t need to be a police report, but someone will have to clean up the gross red smear in the parking lot.

    3. Carolyn

      Seems like Amazi-Girl’s plan before the dudebros swarmed was to slap his picture online along with a warning about his crimes. Not only might this warn other women about him, but it could encourage other victims to come forward and report him.

    4. Woobie

      Statute of limitations won’t have expired, and there is a victim and witnesses.
      And Ryan doesn’t look like a Hoosier football star.

      1. trlkly

        That really doesn’t matter. Prosecuting a month old attempted rape is pretty hard. Sal wasn’t wrong when she said the drugs being out of Joyce’s system probably meant that Ryan wouldn’t walk–and that was just the day after.

    5. Inspector Hound

      If all goes according to (what I assume is the) plan, Ryan stops being anonymous thanks to tweets and retweets, his other victims step forward, and the snowball effect begins (which we’ve seen happen in real life).

      The punching is just a bonus.

    6. Amake

      I figure Amazi-Girl will beat Ryan until he gives up his name, share that with the Internet and then disappear, as masked vigilantes are wont to. Then his days of raping freshmen in peace is over, at least in Indiana.

  45. Skim

    My theory is that she climbed up one of the streetlamps and and let go

    1. Skim

      uhh I messed up. please don’t post that Mr. Willis

      1. Orion Fury

        Too late?

  46. Silamy

    ……is it just me, or is it _incredibly_ satisfying and somewhat cathartic to watch people beat the tar out of Ryan? I mean… watching Amber beat people up and retreat into AG is heart-breaking, and I know this isn’t a great solution in reality, but… he’s a … well, I’ve got a religious class to teach in a few hours and shouldn’t be using those words, but… does he have any redeeming qualities? I’ve gotten decent recipes on occasion from people who followed up by calling me “Christ-killer”, but this… ugh. And I’m not sure if a personality beyond “[wanabe] rapist” would help or not. On the one hand, it might make him more three-dimensional and accessible (like Mary’s anime? Maybe? She has hobbies, and studies, at least?), but is that a good thing? If we find out that the politically active preacher’s son who’s a respected member of his fraternity is also a decent student and generally comes across as a nice guy (except when he’s trying out his Crosby impression), would that character development be an interesting element of depth, or just a horrifying reminder that there was almost no chance of Joyce getting believed no matter what they’d done to report him and when?

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      He’s friends with the fight scene generics. He has no redeeming qualities.

    2. trlkly

      That’s the beauty of comic villains. You can get the catharsis with out the guilt.

      Video games are good for that, too.

    3. Fart Captor

      On the one hand, I feel like it would be good to show that — as with racism and sexism — not all people who do this are obviously, cartoonishly evil. Not because we’re too quick to prejudge such people, but rather because we’re too slow to believe that someone who seems nice might be capable of such behavior. The idea that only obviously creepy, disgusting sleazebags can be rapists is a dangerous one, that far too many people believe.

      On the other hand, the real world is far too willing to humanize guys like Ryan already. The way we pretty much exclusively see him being a horrible person sends a clear message. What we’ve been shown of his character are the parts that are relevant to how the audience should judge him. He’s explicitly not being depicted as a somehow tragic figure, or a “good boy who made one bad decision”, but simply as an asshole who has no respect for women, who attempted to rape at least one person, and is almost certainly guilty of worse, and has earned all the punches he receives.

      I think keeping him simple was probably the better way to go. There’s just enough detail for him to feel realistic, but not so much that it seems like we’re supposed to like him or feel sorry for him.

  47. Noah

    Is this the first comic with a multi-word title?

  48. Owlmirror

    Track & Field & Youtube videos of flying kicks.

    Say, assuming Ryan stays down for a while, AG could use her phone to basically take pictures of his entire contact list. Which might include his contact for the drugs he uses. . .

    1. darkoneko

      r she could st—I mean, holding on it for a while as evidence.

      1. Owlmirror

        Actually, I can see Ryan panicking and wiping the phone data if he thought there was a chance anything on it might be used against him. So, yes, I can see AG holding on to it for a while.

        1. darkoneko

          Police kinda can trace them now, tho.

  49. Julie

    “Would you like to join me for a Kraboof?” is my new end-of-date line

  50. Dana

    He’s mixed up her species, but she is a crazy female superhero. I object to his tone though.

    1. Phyrexian_Rogue

      Fortunately his tone is the only objectionable thing about this paragon of virtue.

  51. darkoneko

    The irony is that he wants to crash at someone else’s place for a while, but Amazi-girl didn’t know his identity, wouldn’t have changed anything.

  52. SeanR

    Considering.
    If there is a report, unsubstantiated, of him roofiying (sic?) someone, then there should be sufficient grounds to search him to see if he has rohypnol on his person or in his effects. I doubt he has a prescription for it. (I just googled it. It’s Schedule IV, and not approved for use in the US.)

    I also doubt anyone takes the stuff for recreational use, considering one of the “side effects” is a fuzzy memory.

    1. SeanR

      Huh. According to the web, people DO voluntarily take the stuff.
      Huh.

      1. Sam

        I don’t imagine most people would, but according to the fittingly named Drugs.com, yes, they do, often with other drugs. Because some people just want to screw themselves up further apparently…

    2. Needfuldoer

      Rule 34 of pharmaceuticals: If it has side effects, people will abuse it. No exceptions.

    3. Portland

      To be honest, I’ve known people who have intentionally and consensually rufied themselves before sex. As far as I know, it’s perfectly legal if both/all parties agree to it beforehand. Not that I think Ryan has ever considered that sort of use.

      1. SeanR

        You know people who have taken an illegal narcotic prior to having consensual sex? Presuming you’re in the US, which is not a certain thing, I’ll admit, they were violating the law just as if they snorted a line of coke, or a shot of heroin, rather than a knockout pill, prior to coitus.

  53. Carolyn

    THANK CHRIST. I’ve actually been feeling some anxiety checking for updates these last few days out of dread for seeing Ryan slip away again.

    And now, a quote from my favorite Game of Thrones recap series:

    “TO BE OR NOT TO BE? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fuckboys, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by punching them in their stupid face END THEM.”

  54. sylvestrus

    Finally he got the kraboofing that he deserved.

  55. Thevoiceoftreason

    Odd that he calls her superhero instead of vigilante. Rarely do villains consider their enemies heroes.

    1. Heavensrun

      Honestly, I doubt he thinks about the meaning of his vocabulary. She’s known on campus as being a “superhero”, so that’s how he refers to her.

      1. SeanR

        Bright colors + cape = super hero
        cark colors + cowl = masked vigilante

        1. Orion Fury

          Cark Colors? So, Troubled Colors? Makes sense.

        2. BenRG

          Actually, that sounds right!

    2. Carolyn

      He’s in panic mode, I doubt he’s thinking too much about his word choices right now.

      Now if he were trying to spin this night into a sob story for an audience later on, I could see him picking his words carefully, painting himself as a victim and Amazi-Girl as an unhinged vigilante who attacked him for no reason.

      And I just grossed myself out typing out that hypothetical scenario. Bleh.

      1. Orion Fury

        There’s been a bit of that going around. Justifying evil leaving a bad taste in your mouth is a good thing. Well, last I check. Hopefully someone would let me know if it changed.

  56. Owlmirror

    Uh-oh. I just realized something: Ryan was talking to someone who was presumably driving.

    Will this be Amazi-Girl vs. Car, Round 2?

    Or will it be Sal vs. Car, Round 1 (and maybe this time, AG saves her)?

    1. Reltzik

      This isn’t Amazi-girl vs car, round 2.

      …

      She went at least two rounds during the Toedad incident.

  57. Professor Fate

    Boot+face+Kraboof!+pavement=road rash on face. Followed by beating and a good kick in the stones. Roofie that, assmunch!

  58. Lurkylurk

    Anyone else hear “X Gon Give It To Ya” in their heads while she kicks him?

  59. Orion Fury

    Quick Theory. Scary Theory. Phone Guy? Ryan’s ‘Mentor’. Better people than I can elaborate.

    1. Orion Fury

      Perhaps I should have been a better person.

      1. ety

        Yeah, not that I couldn’t see that, but I’d really rather not.

        1. Orion Fury

          Yeah, kinda prone to going to dark places and all that.

  60. HiiroArana79

    Why does Scarface have a shirt that reads “out M to”. Is this apart of a code using Latin word for “out” and the Greek letter san? Where is “san” going to?

    1. SeanR

      It’s “De-San-To”. Congressman Desanto’s last name across three lines.
      I still can’t see “out M to”. To me it’s pretty clear.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        He’s probably looking at it on an iPhone with a cracked screen.

        1. SeanR

          Then next time he should avoid dropping it when he’s being kicked in the head.

    2. Orion Fury

      Serious or Troll?

      1. HiiroArana79

        It was joke about something obvious

        1. Orion Fury

          Not enough for me, apparently.

    3. Willoughby Chase

      San Jose?

  61. Rukduk

    Who, oh who, are you calling Ryan? Is it someone we know? If not, is it a friend or family member? If so do they know why you’re being chased by a vigilante?

  62. Emperor Norton II

    OK, so… Based on how DoA usually progresses, my bet is that things are about to get worse. Sure, it will probably eventually get better again, but before that, things will get worse.

    Therefore, we must all ensure that this never happens, by making a petition to stop this comic -right now-. That last panel shall be the final panel in DoA forever. The last thing we will remember is that Gashface got his gashy face dropkicked to the third degree by AG. That is, by definition, the Perfect Ending.

    And sure, we will miss DoA. Sure, Willis has become a true master of storytelling over the years. Sure, he would have given us a plethora of different FEELS (several of whom we didn’t even know we had) with his intricate and strange and wonderful characters. Sure, it does leave a lot of things unresolved. This is the price we must pay for ending at a Perfect Moment.

    1. (((Mkvenner)))

      Semester isn’t over. its only been a few weeks.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        So you’re supporting my petition, then?

        1. DonDueed

          Reaction 1: so the next three months of buffer just contain single panels of the word “Ha!”, then?

          Reaction 2: why would the Emperor of the Internet need to call for a petition? Or to put it another way, what would God need with a spaceship?

        2. anorak

          He is an emperor of the people.

        3. (((Mkvenner)))

          No i’m not.

    2. Reltzik

      But then we’ll never get to see Ruth get better!

    3. Orion Fury

      You may be Emperor, but Willis is God. Seemingly Old Testament version, and loves taking a bat to our feels.

  63. Shawn L.

    “There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three kill. The other… [KRABOOF] …hurts.”

    1. bigwig92

      Nice DKR reference.

  64. BenRG

    “Hi, can I have my phone back please…? Oh! You were on a call? Who to? Let’s see… caller ID… Sir? Sir, I’ll be over to see you in a few minutes. Please remain where you are to save yourself unnecessary fear and pain.”

    1. Orion Fury

      “If you want, you can run. Just means you’ll die tired.”

  65. yo.

    Thank you. So much.

    Just….thank you.

  66. Idontcarenomore

    I hope to Hell that when she drags his sorry ass kicking and screaming to police station, that he people who saw his ‘bros’ holding her down when Ryan got ready to pound the crap out of her, will stand up and say so.

    He did steal her phone after all, good reason to chase him.

    Marcie is a security guard there: if she testifies to what she saw, that will also carry some weight I think.

    I hope.

    1. Liliet

      She has no business being anywhere near the police station. She IS an illegal vigilante who is probably wanted at least formally. And she doesn’t have anything on him, as Joyce didn’t file a report, and while ‘he attacked me first’ is good enough grounds for superhero high moral ground, it’s pretty iffy by actual law – especially without any proof that she was right in dragging him over social media.

      Stealing a phone is a better charge, but I still don’t think it’s good enough to outweigh “Amazi-girl is literally illegal”

      1. trlkly

        You’d be surprised how much of what she did was perfectly legal, though.

        Sure, if she were a different color, they’d come up with a reason for it not to be, but still.

      2. Lailah

        Nothing outweighs “amazigirl is illegal”. He could have tried to murder her, and reporting him as AG would /still/ mean she gets arrested. I mean, he would be /as well/, and yes, you can’t hit someone for saying what she said or doing what she did (to Ryan), but none of that matters vis-a-vis amazi-girl’s safety in talking to the police. They’ll arrest her.

    2. Joe Archer

      Sal would make her night living hell if AG brought the notion of going to the cops into their activity. “That’s not how the system works.”

  67. Zatar

    watching Ryan get his ass kicked will never not be satisfying.

    1. Orion Fury

      Fear the day when that happens.

  68. Aprion

    ohhh nice intercept there

  69. acher4

    Ahhhhh…
    I feel so much better this moment. 😀
    A small anxiety attack was fuming after he got hold of her mobile.

  70. Neeks

    Bet he’s regretting not ditching her phone right about now.

  71. motorfirebox

    So… it wasn’t locked?

    1. motorfirebox

      Oh, nevermind, he’s talking on his phone. Phew.

  72. Keulan

    Damn that last panel is awesome.

  73. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Catch your phone Amber! Unless you have a good case, I guess.

    1. Neeks

      Amazi-girl is prepared for everything, that’s why she has an amazi-otterbox case for her phone.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Otter-ly indestructible?

        1. Deanatay

          Amaz-er-box.

  74. Liliet

    So… what did Amazi-girl need Sal’s phone for?…

    Also I just had an idea… Imagine: Amazi-girl is done for the night, switches back with Amber… AND SAL IS STILL AROUND.

    Cue Amber going into a panic attack, and Sal is just ???? ??????? ??????????
    :>

    1. Liliet

      Oh, probably Amber had a GPS tracking app on her phone or something? I don’t know if those are a thing but it would be weird if they weren’t.

      1. ety

        Yeah, depending on the phone there are all sorts of ways to manage that.

      2. Reltzik

        Pretty much every cell phone these days comes equipped with GPS. It’s useful for finding lost phones, for using map-aps to navigate, and for helping emergency services track down where a 911 call came from. There’s also a host of… less wholesome uses for that feature.

        1. Tikitori

          Ugh, I know what you mean. My parents’ “gifted me” my dad’s iPhone for college, only to freak out everytime I wasn’t trackable at my university at night.

          I ended up just leaving my phone at my dorm whenever I went out. Eventually I got my own where they couldn’t do that. It…wasn’t a great bonding moment.

    2. Tikitori

      Yeah, and some programs if you enter with your phone’s account will not only let you track, but sound off, lock indefinitely or even reset completely.

      She probably used Sal’s phone to enter her credentials on the website/app and just used the tracking to find Ryan.

  75. Teddae

    WASTE HIM

  76. Bagge

    Sal: “NO FAIR, IT WAS MY GO!!!”

    1. Cybersnark

      No, Sal delivered the punch last time. This was Amazi-Girl’s turn. Now Sal can hit him again.

  77. NinjaNick

    Knock some teeth out, Amazi-Girl!

    1. Orion Fury

      He still has unbroken bones in his skull! NOT HARD ENOUGH!

  78. Needfuldoer

    She kicked him straight out of the panel! He’d better stay away from the comments; he’ll wish he was back up in the comic.

  79. CianM1301

    Amber used High Jump Kick!
    Critical hit!

  80. HiiroArana79

    What if this beating leads Scarface to do something worse next time. I mean he is a piece of shit. But, I see him being able to play the victim after a vigilante beats him up. I keep thinking of the issue of Spawn when he punished a man for beating his kids only for the man to return to tak it all out on the kids.

    1. Fart Captor

      The blame would be entirely on Ryan for being a piece of shit.

  81. Crumplepunch

    Well, that was faster than I thought it was going to be.

  82. Zellgato

    Uh oh. He probably has backup coming now.
    Still waiting for that weapon to show up somewhere.

  83. DonDueed

    AG shouldn’t be biting her lip like that. She could give herself a nasty cut upon kraboofing.

  84. Toby

    Assuming he gets out of this and wants to press charges, he may not know who AG is, but he does know Sal 🙁

    1. Reltzik

      Does he? He didn’t exactly get a name. True, there’s exactly one person on the security team who knows who Sal is, but I’m guess that Marcie will sacrifice her job before she talks.

      1. Shadowypenguin

        Yeah I don’t see Marcie talking

        1. Orion Fury

          Shrugging I do see.

  85. Willoughby Chase

    Biff, baff, boff … kraboof!!

    One-hundred-and-eighty!

    Sid Waddell and the Crafty Cockney would be proud!

    1. Willoughby Chase

      BULL’S EYE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRef1-6imT8

  86. Willoughby Chase

    Ryan’s “friend” seems reluctant to offer the little shit shelter.

    1. Reltzik

      If someone called me up past midnight on a school night babbling nonsense about being beaten up by a superhero and saying I needed to come get them this minute, I’d probably be reluctant too.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        True, but whoever they were, they were reluctant before Ryan drew the superhero card, which he seems to think makes his plight more urgent.

        He was right, in that case.

  87. Clif

    No one is asking where Sal is while the Kraboof! is going on.

    1. darkoneko

      Sal smokes, probably is lagging a bit behind.

      1. fogel

        Stopped to light up, eh?

        1. darkoneko

          Smokers have trouble with oxygen intaking during prolonged efforts, yo.

    2. Fart Captor

      Might’ve turned back to explain herself to Marcie

  88. Makkabee

    That’s a very satisfying kraboof.

  89. jonathan

    I am thrilled with “KRABOOF!”

  90. Paul

    So instead of using the phone to figure out who amazi-girl is and get her arrested for her vigilante actions he just phones a friend?

    I hope that Amazi-girl has a burner phone she uses for vigilante work that can’t be connected to Amber’s phone records.

    Among other things, it would allow certain trusted individuals to call Amazigirl on the Amaziphone without revealing her identity, just like certain other superheroes that we know.

    1. Carolyn

      Amazi-Girl said her phone is screen-locked, so he likely couldn’t get into it. Look at the panels again. He’s speaking into his own phone in his right hand while carrying Amber’s blue phone in his left. His chief concern seems to be getting the photo away from her so she couldn’t post it online.

    2. Orion Fury

      Well asking the audience didn’t really work out so well for him.

  91. raker

    Missed opportunity. This strip should have been titled “Kraboof”, but, um, yeah, sure, “listen to me” is almost as good. Ahem.

  92. KingOfGreyfell

    KRABOOF

  93. Deviant

    Mmm. This makes me think of Might Guy in Naruto.

    DYNAMIC ENTRYYYY!

  94. Anywhere

    That satisfying KRABOOF.

  95. Tenn

    Re: Alt text

    If you’re doing it wrong, you just jump straight up, then attack while pressing “Down”.

  96. Bizzarro

    Calling it – phone WASN’T locked,and when AZG goes to turn him in, he threatens to expose her and she’s forced to let him go for story contrivance.

    1. trlkly

      She’s not planning on turning him in, though.

      And if she can’t put him online, what’s to stop her from making him literally unable to commit the crime again?

  97. chris73

    Dare I say this is one of the (very) rare situations where we get a satisfying comic strip that doesn’t lead to further heartbreak?

    I mean I likes the drama and all but sometimes its nice to see people get a win as well

    Especially Amazi-girl

  98. Deanatay

    “I went to the rock to hide my face,
    but the rock cried out, “NO HIDING PLACE!
    No hiding place down here!”

  99. Kingmonster

    Sometimes in life…Crit happens.

    (I may or may have not made this joke here before)

    Also…FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

    1. Kingmonster

      Actually, no.

      It’s more of a BOOT TO DA’ HEAD!

      My bad.

  100. SeanR

    I just had a thought.
    The best punishment, would be a running brand and legible handwriting.
    And the word “TƧIϤAЯ” appearing on his forehead every time he looks in the mirror.

    1. Carolyn

      Somebody needs to call Aldo Raine in.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.