Lowkey. Fuckface is the only reason Malaya is tolerated in universe. She was denied admission until the dean saw him and was like “Woah! Cool iguana!” The whole no pets allowed thing is an elaborate lie to screw with people.
Actually, the rule might be to avoid issues with dormmates who are allergic to cats or dogs. But iguanas, no one’s allergic to iguanas.
Regalli
There are actually a couple studies suggesting you can be. Like, only a couple and it seems like most of them were individual case studies with prolonged exposure first, but it seems not-impossible. So that’s the new thing I learned today.
Marsh Maryrose
There are apparently some very rare individuals who are allergic. But there are more important issues with regard to human health. The Green Iguana Society has an extensive list of human safety issues for iguana keeper.
Inahc
wow. “If the bite is a severe one where you are bleeding profusely, you may even consider going to the hospital with the iguana attached (and hopefully it will release before you get there). ”
iguanas sound fucking dangerous.
thejeff
Or roommates who are phobic about certain pets (snakes?) or just don’t want to deal with them. This scene is a good reason.
Or kids who don’t take good care of their pets – no oversight like there would have been back home. Or who don’t keep them from damaging the rooms – scratching, sanitation.
For many common pets dorm rooms are very small to be cooped up in. Living in close quarters it’s likely that for anything not kept in a tank or cage, it won’t just be the roommate affected, but everyone on the floor at least – and all their pets.
All that said, apparently some schools are experimenting with pet-friendly dorms.
Daibhid C
Malasia = Lord Byron??
(For those who don’t know the story, when Byron was at university, he was told he couldn’t keep a dog, so he got a bear. Sources vary as to whether the rule specifically said “dogs” [or possibly “dogs or cats”] or whether it said “domestic animals” and he assured the college that the bear wasn’t domesticated in the slightest.)
Unusually Angry Hippie
See, this is why I wish I was a wealthy and influential member of the British aristocracy in the late victorian. I could buy a bear just for a joke.
Agemegos
Byron was in college about 1805–1808, which is not so much “late Victorian” as ten years before Victoria was born.
We’ve seen her intrude on Sal like this before, yeah.
Sometimes I really, REALLY hope the Jacob thing crashes and burns the way I dread it will, because I really, REALLY want it to help teach Joyce some freaking boundaries and maybe she’ll extend them past the relationships one. Respect the tired not-morning people, Joyce! Don’t intrude on people while they sleep! Or pee! That’s weird, Joyce!
I know Joyce has already been examining boundaries due to Dorothy’s call out, at least with the Jacob thing, so that’s something, at least.
It’s already putting her over Tai from Questionable Content, who is frankly more than a little creepy with some of her stunts.
thejeff
She’s had a flash of insight that her plans for Jacob might be inappropriate, but I’m afraid it’s more because she’s realized that her motives are more lustful than “true love”.
I doubt that will extend to other boundary issues.
Joyce is treating these people like her family, because that’s her primary model for social interaction. And she was the baby sister, and the only girl as well.
Welcome to College Dorm Life: Not only does Joyce get to learn to live with strangers, but Billy, Malaya(**), Sarah and Sal(*) get to learn to live with a sister! Having someone like Joyce as a roommate isn’t a bug, it’s a feature.
(*)Sal has boarding school experience, so she may have already been presented with this lesson and punched it in its stupid morning lesson face already.
(**) Malaya’s sibling status is unknown?
BBCC
Sarah has a little sister. And as the baby who is a sister in a family, I can confirm Joyce is not doing something just inherent to being the baby sister. Billie, Malaya, Sarah, and Sal should not have to put up with this while Joyce gets her act together. At this point, I’m not going to feel bad for her if she wakes up tied up somewhere so the others can sleep.
More like the iguana has her….well not really her but Malaya…..well not really Malaya because iguana’s have no need for humanity’s petty concept of ownership.
I am impressed that Sal has taken to Joyce’s wakeup calls with as much acceptance as she has. But I am more impressed Sal can wake up to an iguana in her face and not even react. Though I guess seeing her roomie is more aggravating and disturbing to her so it makes sense.
… You know, if I had an illicit iguana in my living space, which I shared with someone who didn’t like me or my iguana and I actively antagonized, I’m pretty sure letting said iguana out of its safe, contained, easily-covered-in-a-hurry tank to roam the living space freely would be a bad idea.
Also, aren’t iguanas diurnal? And it’s October, wouldn’t Fuckface staying in his tank with its heat lamp be better for Fuckface?
Fuckface probably escapes his tank anyway, doesn’t he. He strikes me as an iguana who gives zero shits about containment.
(I don’t know anything about the toilet habits of iguanas, but I had a budgie once and it shat everywhere. and I have heard plenty of stories about angry cats.)
According to brief Googling set off by remembering Malaya in the old universe saying he was pretty low-maintenance in that regard, generally iguanas only expel their waste once or twice a day if they’re healthy and being fed properly.
That said, I say ‘expel waste’ because they pee and poop as one combined substance, and their waste can contain stuff like salmonella, so I would really also want to ensure Fuckface is NOT shitting in the living space.
This is not a good idea, Malaya, and it’s inconsiderate or potentially dangerous to both your roommate and your iguana.
Iguana’s poop fairly regularly, maybe once or twice a day unless they’re too cold. I know this because my class had one in middle school…..but you should just blindly trust me on this.
In my experience: iguanas do like to escape their tank and roam around until they need to be heated up again. They especially like to be high up. They rarely if ever cause problems with pooping, which they only do occasionally and seem to prefer in some private place. They will eat any fruit or flowers they find though.
Regalli
Also good to know.
Yeah my worries are more about how Sal clearly doesn’t want to be responsible for this iguana at all and has kind of had those responsibilities foisted on her, mostly, with a side order of ‘so if Fuckface escapes, how much trouble is Sal in as well as Malaya’ than anything else. Potential health issues for either Sal or Fuckface are minor (largely because I know nothing about iguana care and cede to superior knowledge), but this whole situation is kind of inconsiderate to spring on someone without warning or any real ability for them to refuse.
thejeff
Well sure, but it’s Malaya. What do you expect?
Regalli
Oh, about this level of inconsiderate, yeah. I just hope she’s prepared for any consequences of leaving your exotic pet alone with someone who has no awareness of its needs.
Sal raised the illicit pet issue with Malaya in pretty much those words when Malaya moved in. Malaya’s response was to point to the person who her friend who was helping her move in — Marcie.
I once expressed concern about keeping an iguana in Bloomington, but as it happens there are iguana keepers in similar climates who are in this very comment section, and apparently the issues can be dealt with without any major foofaraw. Anyway, I assume Fuckface is biographical to Willis’s college experience.
Fuckface was a carryover from the Walkyverse’s non-college setting, so I have no reason to believe he’s autobiographical in that respect.
Glad to know he’s safe wandering free in this environment climate-wise, though. I’m still concerned that he’s wandering all over including on the lofted bed (what if he escapes the room?) but him not freezing to death is good.
Malaya’s whole bit in that scene was pretty dickish, though. I also remember the ‘you’re complaining because you hate animals’ line from that. There are perfectly good reasons to not want a relatively small living creature wandering freely around your living space. Especially if they can be a salmonella vector. Especially if their discovery can get both of you in trouble. And especially if they can have a perfectly healthy, enriched life in a tank designed for their needs rather than the rest of your dorm room.
I hate that it’s so normal for Joyce to bother Sal to her bed in the mornings that she instinctively waves her away. Not okay Joyce, this is so not okay
128 thoughts on “Whump”
butts
FUCKFACE BEST CHARACTER
butts
14/10
McBogue
they’re good squamates Brent
Kris
Lowkey. Fuckface is the only reason Malaya is tolerated in universe. She was denied admission until the dean saw him and was like “Woah! Cool iguana!” The whole no pets allowed thing is an elaborate lie to screw with people.
Mollyscribbles
Actually, the rule might be to avoid issues with dormmates who are allergic to cats or dogs. But iguanas, no one’s allergic to iguanas.
Regalli
There are actually a couple studies suggesting you can be. Like, only a couple and it seems like most of them were individual case studies with prolonged exposure first, but it seems not-impossible. So that’s the new thing I learned today.
Marsh Maryrose
There are apparently some very rare individuals who are allergic. But there are more important issues with regard to human health. The Green Iguana Society has an extensive list of human safety issues for iguana keeper.
Inahc
wow. “If the bite is a severe one where you are bleeding profusely, you may even consider going to the hospital with the iguana attached (and hopefully it will release before you get there). ”
iguanas sound fucking dangerous.
thejeff
Or roommates who are phobic about certain pets (snakes?) or just don’t want to deal with them. This scene is a good reason.
Or kids who don’t take good care of their pets – no oversight like there would have been back home. Or who don’t keep them from damaging the rooms – scratching, sanitation.
For many common pets dorm rooms are very small to be cooped up in. Living in close quarters it’s likely that for anything not kept in a tank or cage, it won’t just be the roommate affected, but everyone on the floor at least – and all their pets.
All that said, apparently some schools are experimenting with pet-friendly dorms.
Daibhid C
Malasia = Lord Byron??
(For those who don’t know the story, when Byron was at university, he was told he couldn’t keep a dog, so he got a bear. Sources vary as to whether the rule specifically said “dogs” [or possibly “dogs or cats”] or whether it said “domestic animals” and he assured the college that the bear wasn’t domesticated in the slightest.)
Unusually Angry Hippie
See, this is why I wish I was a wealthy and influential member of the British aristocracy in the late victorian. I could buy a bear just for a joke.
Agemegos
Byron was in college about 1805–1808, which is not so much “late Victorian” as ten years before Victoria was born.
woobie
Don’t they carry salmonella?
Ana Chronistic
WTFuckface
Batman
Nice.
Inahc
so it’s not just sarah who gets the joyce wakeups?
Doctor_Who
Guess so, or why would Sal assume that was Joyce?
Does…does she have iguana breath? Someone should really tell her to change her toothpaste brand.
jeffepp
Joyce is… A morning person. Yes, one of those.
Regalli
We’ve seen her intrude on Sal like this before, yeah.
Sometimes I really, REALLY hope the Jacob thing crashes and burns the way I dread it will, because I really, REALLY want it to help teach Joyce some freaking boundaries and maybe she’ll extend them past the relationships one. Respect the tired not-morning people, Joyce! Don’t intrude on people while they sleep! Or pee! That’s weird, Joyce!
DailyBrad
I know Joyce has already been examining boundaries due to Dorothy’s call out, at least with the Jacob thing, so that’s something, at least.
It’s already putting her over Tai from Questionable Content, who is frankly more than a little creepy with some of her stunts.
thejeff
She’s had a flash of insight that her plans for Jacob might be inappropriate, but I’m afraid it’s more because she’s realized that her motives are more lustful than “true love”.
I doubt that will extend to other boundary issues.
Fred Garber
Joyce is treating these people like her family, because that’s her primary model for social interaction. And she was the baby sister, and the only girl as well.
Welcome to College Dorm Life: Not only does Joyce get to learn to live with strangers, but Billy, Malaya(**), Sarah and Sal(*) get to learn to live with a sister! Having someone like Joyce as a roommate isn’t a bug, it’s a feature.
(*)Sal has boarding school experience, so she may have already been presented with this lesson and punched it in its stupid morning lesson face already.
(**) Malaya’s sibling status is unknown?
BBCC
Sarah has a little sister. And as the baby who is a sister in a family, I can confirm Joyce is not doing something just inherent to being the baby sister. Billie, Malaya, Sarah, and Sal should not have to put up with this while Joyce gets her act together. At this point, I’m not going to feel bad for her if she wakes up tied up somewhere so the others can sleep.
Teddae
is fuckface the new joyce
Reltzik
In that Joyce is going to get her face fucked up.
butts
ooh, tough luck
Yumi
If Joyce says the iguana’s name, does that count as her swearing?
Purblebirb
She probably calls him fudgeface or something
Jackson
this is the comment I came here for
Reltzik
Joyce has been doing swearing, just PG-13 swearing.
It will only cross the line if she says it twice.
Keulen
I don’t remember if Joyce has actually said the word “fuck” yet. I don’t believe she has but I’m not sure.
King Daniel
Joyce does not yet have any entries on the Officially Unofficial (But Referenced by the Hovertext in the Past) Dumbing of Age F-Bomb Chart.
DailyBrad
Joyce has said damn, I think she may have said shit or piss, perhaps even ass or asshole, but I don’t believe she has said fuck.
Deanatay
Joyce has said ‘asshole’, in a recent conversation with Joe (at first she said ‘butthole’, but intentionally corrected herself).
CJ
I suspect she will stutter badly trying to Sasha’s name.
CJ
I HATE autocorrect
… say his name
Shameless
I want Joyce to watch Johnny Dangerously…
“You Suminum Biznatch.” “Farging Icehole.”
Kernanator
If only she’d been flailing with the other arm, she might have gotten her.
ShinyNeen
Look, I can think of worse alarm clocks than Joyce.
Inahc
like Mike!
drs
The Great Faz will be happy to wake you up in the morning. With his penis.
Shameless
Win. That was 100% win.
Kris
More like the iguana has her….well not really her but Malaya…..well not really Malaya because iguana’s have no need for humanity’s petty concept of ownership.
JessWitt
Say his name, Joyce. No “Fudgeface” or similar substitutions.
jmsr7
She’d better. Getting someone’s name wrong on purpose is disrespectful. e.g. it’s DAY-tah not DAH-tah
Kyrik Michalowski
I am impressed that Sal has taken to Joyce’s wakeup calls with as much acceptance as she has. But I am more impressed Sal can wake up to an iguana in her face and not even react. Though I guess seeing her roomie is more aggravating and disturbing to her so it makes sense.
jeffepp
Joyce, your “I’m not into girls” is wearing thin.
Stephen Bierce
Wish I was in Tijuana –
Eating barbecued iguana
I’d take requests on the telephone
I’m on a wavelength far from home–“Mexican Radio”
Regalli
… You know, if I had an illicit iguana in my living space, which I shared with someone who didn’t like me or my iguana and I actively antagonized, I’m pretty sure letting said iguana out of its safe, contained, easily-covered-in-a-hurry tank to roam the living space freely would be a bad idea.
Also, aren’t iguanas diurnal? And it’s October, wouldn’t Fuckface staying in his tank with its heat lamp be better for Fuckface?
Fuckface probably escapes his tank anyway, doesn’t he. He strikes me as an iguana who gives zero shits about containment.
Inahc
oh he probably gives shits. alll over sal’s bed.
(I don’t know anything about the toilet habits of iguanas, but I had a budgie once and it shat everywhere. and I have heard plenty of stories about angry cats.)
Regalli
According to brief Googling set off by remembering Malaya in the old universe saying he was pretty low-maintenance in that regard, generally iguanas only expel their waste once or twice a day if they’re healthy and being fed properly.
That said, I say ‘expel waste’ because they pee and poop as one combined substance, and their waste can contain stuff like salmonella, so I would really also want to ensure Fuckface is NOT shitting in the living space.
This is not a good idea, Malaya, and it’s inconsiderate or potentially dangerous to both your roommate and your iguana.
Kris
Iguana’s poop fairly regularly, maybe once or twice a day unless they’re too cold. I know this because my class had one in middle school…..but you should just blindly trust me on this.
3oranges
In my experience: iguanas do like to escape their tank and roam around until they need to be heated up again. They especially like to be high up. They rarely if ever cause problems with pooping, which they only do occasionally and seem to prefer in some private place. They will eat any fruit or flowers they find though.
Regalli
Also good to know.
Yeah my worries are more about how Sal clearly doesn’t want to be responsible for this iguana at all and has kind of had those responsibilities foisted on her, mostly, with a side order of ‘so if Fuckface escapes, how much trouble is Sal in as well as Malaya’ than anything else. Potential health issues for either Sal or Fuckface are minor (largely because I know nothing about iguana care and cede to superior knowledge), but this whole situation is kind of inconsiderate to spring on someone without warning or any real ability for them to refuse.
thejeff
Well sure, but it’s Malaya. What do you expect?
Regalli
Oh, about this level of inconsiderate, yeah. I just hope she’s prepared for any consequences of leaving your exotic pet alone with someone who has no awareness of its needs.
Marsh Maryrose
Sal raised the illicit pet issue with Malaya in pretty much those words when Malaya moved in. Malaya’s response was to point to the person who her friend who was helping her move in — Marcie.
I once expressed concern about keeping an iguana in Bloomington, but as it happens there are iguana keepers in similar climates who are in this very comment section, and apparently the issues can be dealt with without any major foofaraw. Anyway, I assume Fuckface is biographical to Willis’s college experience.
Dana
Fuckface followed Malaya from the other continuity, so I doubt it’s an autobio thing.
Regalli
Fuckface was a carryover from the Walkyverse’s non-college setting, so I have no reason to believe he’s autobiographical in that respect.
Glad to know he’s safe wandering free in this environment climate-wise, though. I’m still concerned that he’s wandering all over including on the lofted bed (what if he escapes the room?) but him not freezing to death is good.
Malaya’s whole bit in that scene was pretty dickish, though. I also remember the ‘you’re complaining because you hate animals’ line from that. There are perfectly good reasons to not want a relatively small living creature wandering freely around your living space. Especially if they can be a salmonella vector. Especially if their discovery can get both of you in trouble. And especially if they can have a perfectly healthy, enriched life in a tank designed for their needs rather than the rest of your dorm room.
Viktoria
Too bad. Take the loss.
Goki
Oh yeah, Joyce hasn’t met Fuckface yet. She also hasn’t met the Iguana either. (Badum Ching!!!!!)
Bagge
F-WORD-FACE!!!
Dana
Fudgeface!
Sunny
Fordface?
Roborat
F-word-FAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEE.
Barduwulf
Looks like Fuckface seems insulted to being compared to Joyce. Maybe he’ll be ok with it when she becomes an internet Porn Lady?
BBCC
*sigh* I guess it was too much to hope Joyce stopped doing this shit, huh?
Malaya, maybe you can succeed where Sarah, Billie and Sal all failed and make her understand this is not cute and is in fact unacceptable.
If not, at least I have Sal being adorable in panel 1 and the glorious return of Fuckface.
Minotaur
I’m wondering: Willis has said that Joyce was autobiographical. So is this waking up of people something Willis used to do in college?
Diner Kinetic
I’m just imagining waking up and seeing a grumpy father of of two staring at my pet
Derek
I hate that it’s so normal for Joyce to bother Sal to her bed in the mornings that she instinctively waves her away. Not okay Joyce, this is so not okay
Regalli