607

Pokeman
Posted on August 7, 2015 by David M Willis

607 thoughts on “Pokeman”

  1. Jen Aside

    “Do you have any Pokeyman games for the Sega Playstation?”
    -actual customer, prolly at that same mall

    *puts $50 on Dina trying to lose him at the Chick-Fil-A*

    **also super worried for Dina even though the worst Toebag looks like he could do is fall down on her**

    ***or possibly swallow her whole like his shoulders did to his neck***

    1. Kris

      Don’t worry for Dina. Ross is a compassionate man. Dina can also be corrected.

      1. Lucina

        First of all what gives you the right

        1. Nightsbridge

          Second of all how dare you

        2. Kris

          Whoa! Sorry sorry sorry! Sarcasm. I was literally just quoting what he said for comic effect. This never works when you type it!

        3. Frith Ra

          This is why I sometimes follow sarcasm with a “” tag.

          Though often I have to use square brackets, thus: [/snark]

        4. Kris

          I think Imma get out of the internet sarcasm biz. It’s a young man’s game.

        5. Rowen Morland

          It’s no one’s game. Fools, fools everywhere! (Glasso 2012)

        6. Steven

          If its any consolation I read it as a joke.

          Some people are just… [insert negative]

        7. CleverTrousers

          I’m pretty sure directly referencing the unsympathetic character’s line from the same exact page gets you a free pass on comment hate.

        8. Rycan

          *inserts negative*

          Now there’s silver chloride all over my hands, and my computer’s making funny noises. This helps how, exactly?

        9. N0083rP00F

          Well. you won’t be bothered by any were-type critters. Those tend to get all explodey after ingesting silver-chloride.

        10. Roborat

          To Rycan,

          Well, it helped you discover you have a were-computer.

        11. JaneDoe

          For the record, I caught the sarcasm, however that might be partially due to the fact that sarcasm is my second language 😉

        12. DSL

          Internet sarcasm is fun, mostly for the entertaining reactions of those who will take you literally.

        13. Fred

          I keep advocating that the W3C adds a sarcasm tag to its next HTML5 standards recommendation list. It would save so much trouble on the web, really.

        14. airyu

          I am pretty sure the first of all what gives you the right second of all how dare you is a reference to something. I see it on twitter and tumblr all the time

        15. Lucina

          Not sure what it’s referencing but we were both definitely using it in that joking sense, not as a serious indictment of Kris or anything.

        16. anniuq

          Kelly Kapoor saying “Number one how DARE you” is one of my favorite lines from the Office, if that helps

        17. Lyssie

          Don’t worry, I think those were just tumblr-style responses to your sarcasm. I know I capslock WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT at my friends all the time. It’s a general response to things like sad headcanons or reminders of sad fictional events – basically anything playfully said to evoke a harmless negative emotional reaction, typically about fiction. Your sarcasm fell into that category, and so you got the traditional HOW DARE YOU response. No harm, no foul! Just internet dialects interacting weirdly.

        18. nightsbridge

          I wasn’t taking it seriously. I’d have probably put it into a text wall explanation, if I didn’t. But that’s a horrible enough idea that I thought it merited a response.

        19. CleverTrousers

          Third of all: Where have you been? Damn you, where have you been!?

        20. anonymsly

          Assuming that’s a Last Unicorn reference: I’m here now?

        21. ozzi

          Candy mountain?

      2. TyB

        Er. “corrected” is kinda a fraught word when talking about lesbians/ladies who wanna get with ladies: the place it’s usually found is in the phrase “corrective rape.” Or, the one I’ve heard said to me by a stranger on a bus after hitting on me and being rebuffed because I said I had a wife: “You just need a man to correct you.”
        It’s not a funny phrase. Do not use it as a joke. I completly believe that this asshat used it this way, especially after he followed it up with “by any means necessary.”

        1. Pat

          Yes, and that was a direct reference to exactly what he said.

    2. Wire Segal

      Plot twist: dina gets subsumed by Toedad but defeats him from the inside with her spiky dinosaur outfit

      1. Jen Aside

        Twist twist: They end up at the GOP debates and Trump’s hair eats everyone

        1. Doctor_Who

          No, Dina is the only survivor, making her the GOP frontrunner.

        2. Jen Aside

          but Ben Carson sneaks out from being ignored and waterboards her, because fuck the Hippocratic Oath

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          The GOP then implodes (into gop, because really now, why do they cling to that acronym now that no one even remembers what it stands for) when their frontrunner declares evolution to be fact. Hillary is so impressed she concedes at once, and the presidential oath is therefore administered to Dina as she holds her hand to a triceratops femur borrowed from the Musuem of Natural History for the occasion. (Most of) The world rejoices.

        4. Morid

          Not everyone knows the acronym means Grand Ol’ Party?

          That’s almost as bad as the 20 something at IHOP the other day asking what “that black POWMIA flag” was for. I fear for the children of the younger Millennials.

        5. John

          Old people have been lamenting kids these days since at least the Roman Empire. Nevertheless, things keep improving. Fact is, a lot of people are stupid, and more are ignorant. When they were born makes little difference.

          I’ve never figured out the whole “GOP” thing. The Democratic Party is older than the Republican Party. (I’m not going to judge “grandness”.)

        6. Rabid Rabbit

          Oh, longer than that: from an Assyrian tablet, ca. 2800 B.C. or so:

          “The Earth is degenerating today. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer obey their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.”

        7. ahuh

          Rapid Rabbit: I would have grave doubts about that tablet, given that ‘the end of the world” was not a common trope in Assyrian literature, c.2800 BCE predates Assyria and indeed most legible cuneiform texts(our oldest “literary” texts are dated to about 2600 BCE, and most of them are barely legible because our understanding of archaic cuneiform is still somewhat limited), and that quote just sounds really off as far as ‘things you would plausibly find”.

        8. Ambitious

          ahuh: Remember: “Don’t believe every attribution you find on the internet” – Abraham Lincoln

        9. elebenty

          Rabid Rabit, as with most things quoted, it has changed a little over the years. Apparently a version was published in three places in 1908 as:

          The “good old times” seemed as bad to the “good-old-timers” as the present times seem to the modern man, as shown by the following translation on an inscription on a tablet in the Imperial Museum at Constantinople, Turkey:—

          Naram Sin, 5000 B.C.
          We have fallen upon evil times, the world has waxed old and wicked. Politics are very corrupt. Children are no longer respectful to their elders. Each man wants to make himself conspicuous and write a book.           No end times prophecy, but still ticked at the younger generation.http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/10/22/world-end/

        10. DSL

          I don’t mind simple ignorance; the remedy in an intelligent person is information. What causes my vision to shift to the red end of the spectrum is the willfully ignorant and dismissive, specifically the narcissistic tendency of some of my younger (thankfully former) coworkers act and speak as if nothing of any significance occurred before they were shat out.

        11. Kryss LaBryn

          I only just now realized I’ve been misreading it as GoT for like, a year. Yeah, yeah, I know it refers to American election something somethings; it’s just that “Game of Thrones” was so appropriate that I only just now realized that wasn’t what it stood for when you said that.

          I need to get out more.

        12. fogel

          Perhaps you’re thinking of GoC? 😉

        13. Matthew Davis

          When you play the GoP, you either win…or….you…get to be the Republican Candidate for President? I’m not sure how that is “winning,” considering.

        14. Les

          She’s not 35, although in her current guise she’s about 60 million years old, so I guess she qualifies (couldn’t be any worse than most of the clown corps running…)

        15. gkheyf

          dina 2016!

          and becky as the first lady! talk about party in the usa…

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Toedad can absorb Dina? YEEK!

    3. Whittier

      The College Mall Chick-Fil-A is a walk-up. But hopefully that won’t stop Dina.

    4. Ghola

      Its Sunday. you can’t get the holy chicken fillets on Sunday.. you’re supposed to fast and beat yourself with reeds.

      All of you heathens are gon’ tae HELL

      1. brionl

        ITYM, ‘All y’all heathens…’

        1. Karen Lynn

          I wanted to thank you for spelling “y’all” correctly.

      2. Les

        At least the problem is at the corporate level. I’ve never seen an individual employee (or manager) be disrespectful or attempt to proselytize a gay customer and I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt.

      3. Charlie Spencer

        “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints,
        The sinners are much more fun.”

    5. Skorpeyon

      Nope, can’t loose him at Chick-fil-a, they’re closed on Sundays. Well, unless it’d be in the parking lot or something. On a somewhat related note, why is it that I’m always out and about and see a Chick-fil-a on a Sunday and suddenly MUST have it, but they’re inevitably closed?

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        Probably because of Satan.

        1. gkheyf

          so you’re saying that only satan is allowed in chick-fil-a on sundays? seems like an odd corporate policy…

        2. Khyrin

          Well, if it’s of any comfort, he has to fry the chicken himself. No employees to do it for him.

        3. DSL

          Of course, he’s really good at frying.

        4. Oddball

          Considering it is the bodies of Judas, Brutus, and Cassius forever tormented to be chewed then super fast healing then chewed all over again, then yes he is REALLY good at frying at the SAME TIME AS CHEWING.

        5. TJ Pittsburgh

          . . . except that Satan is frozen waist-deep in Lake Cocytus, which is a bit of the opposite of frying. Dante didn’t get his fanfic right!

        6. Chrissy

          I never understood why Judas has to be punished for ensuring the scriptures were fulfilled… If he hadn’t turned Jesus in, Christianity wouldn’t’ve happened. I grew up Roman Catholic, maybe some other denomination has filled that plot hole.

        7. Jen Aside

          because no good deed goes unpunished

          -Church of Clichéd Idioms

      2. Toes14

        I thought that only happened to me! That is the sole reason why I want to become The Emporer of Earth, so I can force Chick-Fil-a to open on Sundays for my occassional enjoyment. I want their Nuggets & Waffles fries to munch on while drinking a beer and watching pro football!

      3. Jen Aside

        The walk-up one at Monkey Mall* isn’t barred or anything when they close, so she could conceivably push him in!

        *no actual monkeys

    6. Halloween Jack

      Don’t worry. Dina is the heroine that Becky needs and deserves.

    7. Aisling

      He would probably strap dina to a chair and force her to watch creationist movies lol.

    8. marr

      Chik-fil-a is not open on a Sunday. Even in a mall.

      1. Jen Aside

        Shove ‘im in! (see above)

  2. Kris

    Nice clean absolute truths up in here.

  3. Pierre-Eric

    I called it, it’s a TRAP!

    1. Durandal_1707

      I wrote this below, but anyone who didn’t think this was a trap would have to have forgotten that this kind of religious zealotry is actually Dina’s one and only apparent berserk button.

      1. Jen Aside

        what about calling dinosaurs lizards

        1. Dante

          Is that really a berserk button? Or is it more of a, “No, they aren’t, and now I’m going to spend hours explaining why,” button?

        2. Durandal_1707

          I guess OG Dina did kind of go “berserk button” about that once, but this version hasn’t really gotten *angry* about it yet, unless I’m forgetting something. The religious crap is the only thing that seems to make her get an actual attitude (well, other than being harassed by Faz, but I don’t think anyone would put up with that for long).

        3. AtomsOrSystems

          “I dunno, I just think dinosaurs look cooler without feathers.”

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          Counter with, “So do bald eagles.” Bam. Mike drop.

        5. Shadlyn

          Every time someone days “Mike drop” in these comments, I imagine Mike executing a drop kick.

          It should be said much more often, is what I’m saying.

        6. darkoneko

          Ooooooh !

        7. Random832

          See the problem is that when people imagine dinosaurs without feathers they’re imagining awesome lizard-textured skin, not lame plucked-chicken-textured skin.

        8. Pierre-Eric

          They really are cooler without feathers… science ruined dinosaurs for me. 🙁
          But science also GAVE them to me in the first place so I can forgive it.

        9. Roborat

          Of course they are cooler without feathers, that is what the feathers were for.

        10. TJ Pittsburgh

          I see what you did there . . . Excellent wordplay.

        11. Kamino Neko

          But they’re NOT cooler without feathers.

          If featherless reptiles were cooler than ones with, the US’s national animal would be the horned toad.

        12. Tacos

          The horned toad is the lizard that shoots blood from its eyes though if I recall. That’s pretty cool so…

        13. Blue

          Toads are amphibians, not reptiles, though

        14. Bysmerian

          Yes, but a horned toad is actually a reptile.

        15. Kamino Neko

          Actual toads aren’t reptiles, but horned toad are lizards.

        16. Superdud

          “saurus” literally means “lizard” though. It’s not like anyone calling them lizards is intending to make a taxonomically meaningful statement.

      2. Bearpelt

        I thought it was less about others being religious and more about people not believing what science says about dinosaurs?

        1. JonRich

          Yes, but given what Joyce thinks about evolution, and how much Dina had to explain last night, there’s absolutely no chance that Ross believes what science says about dinosaurs, and I think Dina would connect those dots. So berserk button activated.

  4. Cody

    Lure him into a trap Dina!

    1. Cody

      Also, toedad delusional as hell from my point of view.

  5. Cephalo the Pod

    Dina I love you.

  6. KingMabel

    I like where this is going

    1. Doctor_Who

      You like the mall? Me too!

      1. JessWitt

        A mauling at the mall?

        1. butting

          Do they sell grappling hooks and rope at the mall? Or is Willis merely toying with our hopes?

  7. otusasio451

    Dinamon! Use Lecture!

    1. otusasio451

      OH DEAR GOD, DID I JUST GIVE HER A DIGIMON NAME. SHIT.

      1. Tacos

        Hey she might approve of the fact that Digimon can evolve. Probably less so on de-evolution but eh.

        1. Awnman

          De-evolution though isn’t really a thing is it? Like lets say you are a moth. Because of the soot from factories evolutionary pressures mean you end up with more black stained moths than pure white moths as they blend in to avoid birds. But then the government cleans up the soot and you have the opposite pressure and you end up with a population of white moths. This isn’t de-evolution though. You have just evolved in a different direction that happens. THe bigger problem is that Digimon don’t evolve. It is rather a metamorphosis based upon specific factors. Then after those factors have been removed the metamorphosis reverts. Its not evolution as it is not over multiple generations, through either the mutation or natural selection. Thus she would be annoyed by the fact its called evolution when i is obviously not

        2. Tacos

          And… now the joke is less funny. Thanks ~_~

        3. doubleW

          au contrare, it’s even better with all this overthought. “Just in; The fossil record has been throw into disarray with the discovery of fossils that apparently began changing shape after preservation occurred!”

          (I don’t know anything about digimon. They do die, right?)

        4. you can't see me

          Fraid not. They just turn into eggs When they would die.

        5. Tacos

          As far as I remember at least one did die. I think it was in the third series.

        6. Cybersnark

          They’re made of data; “turning into eggs” just means the “program” has crashed and reset to their most basic form.

          Tamers was all about “killing” Digimon and loading their data (i.e., feeding on the corpse) to digivolve. Like Highlander but with mons.

        7. ozzi

          Kill it with fire before it lays……dammit digimon……

        8. GJT

          Well of course they don’t evolve. They DIGIvolve. Totally different thing. See it has Digi at the beginning. That makes it different.

          Also, yeah the fact that de-evolution isn’t a thing is probably Tacos’ main point.

        9. Awnman

          I’m an idiot. I suppose that’s what I get for being pedantic

        10. Kryss LaBryn

          De-evolution may not be, but things can devolve, certainly. This thread, for example, devolved into pedantry pretty quickly. 😛

        11. fogel

          And some threads revolve?

        12. N0083rP00F

          and others explode into tangents. Wait, pretty much all threads break into tangents. All it takes is one post and BAM, tangent.

        13. Li

          They digi-volve in some translations. The original Japanese just used plain ole 進化(しんか), which is a perfectly normal word for “evolve”.

        14. Clif

          de-evolution is what you get when you up the mutation rate and remove the selective pressure.

      2. Khrene

        Well with the new Mega evolutions digimon and pokemon are getting really close to crossing the streams.

      3. HMRC4EVR

        Dina is a Digimon.

        Becky is her Tamer.

        And ‘biomerge’ just took on a whole new meaning.

        1. Kaida

          Soooooo….Becky…needs some goggles? Interesting.

        2. Dormagio

          I would think ponytail would be more appropriate, but okay.

        3. ozzi

          And a snorkel

      4. acoraz

        YOU DONE FUCKED UP, SON.

        1. otusasio451

          Yes…Yes, I done.

    2. otusasio451

      Saruya! Use Lie!

      1. Bicycle Bill

        (I don’t know the first thing about what this might mean but I’ve seen other people post things like this, so here goes —)
        IT’S SUPER-EFFECTIVE!!

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          IIRC, it is from the Pokemon game. You tell your current pokemon (who is fighting) what move to perform, and then the game reports the result. “It’s super effective!” is the best result. “[Pokemon’s name] is confused and hits itself is one of the worst results (assuming that it is your pokemon). Attacks that cause Confusion are usually Psychic. Psychic was the best sphere when I played Pokemon Blue and then Gold.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        LIE is a Dark movie.

      3. Khrene

        Saruya used Nasty Plot!

        1. gkheyf

          she is biding her time

        2. N0083rP00F

          we are now at tree’fiddy and the clock is ticking.

  8. Mallow

    I can’t even imagine him having a mouth. He speaks though his moustache.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Maybe what we think is his chin (one of them at least) is actually his mouth and he’s just really smiley.

      1. Kernanator

        I had to squint to see it and now I can’t not see it.

        1. cynthash

          I hate you so much. And Ross. And Chandler/Joey.

      2. Tacos

        I don’t think that… THING is capable of smiling.

      3. io

        Dammit, now i cant unsee it. Now he is even more like a thumb Dx

    2. Darwinprime

      Nuuu… the mustache is the true Toedad, the original personality long since lost to this space born parasite that has taken up residence on a human face.

      1. fogel

        Is it the same species as Trumpo’s “Hair”?

      2. darkoneko

        So like McPedro’s mustache then.

  9. Yotomoe

    Having your void filled by the evil one sounds lewd as fuck.

    1. Mada

      Takeiohmy.jpg

    2. Tunaro

      You may have just described the internet.

    3. AgentKeen

      Well, she is a ‘sexual deviant’ so…

      1. Buttlerman

        But she’s a lesbian they are more likely to not fill their ‘voids’ then straight women

        1. Biblioholic

          We don’t expect zealots to understand that. We only hope they’ll eventually do so.

        2. Roborat

          I thought they were still filling their voids, just using other body parts, and vibrating battery powered plastic devices.

        3. Li

          Eh.

          Plenty of women don’t really enjoy penetration at all? The other forms of sex are more fun. And this is true of straight women as well as queer women. Somethings it’s “meh”, sometimes it’s actively uncomfortable or even painful.

    4. LiaHansen

      actually now that you mention it, he may have actually been talking about Becky’s first girlfriend from her old school

      1. Agemegos

        Did Becky go to school? I thought she was homeschooled.

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          Anderson University. The school her dad pulled her out of when he found out she was a lesbian.

  10. tim gueguen

    I wonder how Carla would react to Evildad asking if Dina is a Pokeman.

    1. John

      Sarcasm and mockery, like she reacts to everything?

  11. AnvilPro

    Is Dina lying? Becky probably wasn’t at church and she doesn’t look like she likes this guy, but it’s hard to tell if she does or doesn’t

    1. user 18

      We’ve followed everything Dina has done today. She hasn’t been to the mall or seen Becky. Ergo, she lies to toedad.

    2. timemonkey

      Look at Dina’s expressions and what she says. Her lies get stronger as she hates him more.

    3. Gangler

      She just asked Joyce where Becky is a few minutes ago. Becky’s in Joyce’s room surfing the net. Dina was on her way over to Joyce’s room for some couply fun times when she met this man.

      She knows full well that Becky’s not at the mall.

    4. C Baker

      I know Dina is written to appear to be autistic, but autistic people *can* lie. We don’t always lie well, but we can do it when necessary.

      Dina has put together that this dude is an awful lot like Amber’s dad, and she’s improvising a way to get him safely off campus and away the heck from Becky.

      1. TARDIS with a HAT

        Heck, I’m on the spectrum and I’m a pretty good liar

        1. Awnman

          One of my friends on the spectrum says that seeing as he always sounds awkward and nervous as hell, when he lies no one can tell the difference. Is that what its like for you or is there some other reason? Just a naturally good liar?

        2. EvolutionistX

          I just got good at lying by practice. Probably like most people.
          For a lot of us, I suspect the difficulty with lying is more that we have moral qualms with it, and so do not practice much and feel bad when we do it. But if we have some sort of good reason to lie, as Dina does here, then we will lie.

      2. Alyssa

        Yup, Autistic person here and I’ve lied. Including to make myself sound less autistic to avoid getting kicked off a study abroad program. It even worked.

    5. winter

      Becky was at church this morning according to Joyce.(http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/meetup/)
      But, yes, Dina is lying. Not very convincingly though.

      1. gkheyf

        but somehow, toedad still trusts the dinosaur. he detects no lies or evil from her pointy horns

        1. Jenny Islander

          Toedad sees what he wants to see and hears what he wants to hear. He wants to see nice compliant helpful little female beings who acquiesce to his unmistakable wisdom and authority, so…

      2. Historyman68

        I love how she lies more and more enthusiastically as he gets worse and worse.

    6. Deanatay

      *grits teeth*

      Dina does not lie! Science does NOT rely on the accurate propagation of information, and Dina *teeth grinding* HATES science, so Dina would NEVER lie!!

      *whimper*

    7. Random832

      Can’t you read? She clearly said her statements are not lies.

      God, some people…

  12. shadowcell

    yes, dina! lead him to the rest of the pack, where you can all set upon him at once and tear him to pieces!

    1. EvolutionistX

      But Dina is wearing an herbivore.

  13. Durandal_1707

    Anyone who doubted that Dina would see through this yesterday must have forgotten that religious fundamentalism is one of the few things that seems to be capable of pissing her off.

  14. Tunaro

    Every word outta this guy’s mouth makes me wanna kick him in the face more ‘n more.

    1. Khrene

      Pretend his stache is the batman symbol, it makes it better

      1. detective boomwolf

        NOPE, I’M KICKIN THE BAT SYMBOL TOO!!

      2. Doctor_Who

        You’re making me like Batman less. That’s a horrible thing to do.

        1. Biblioholic

          It’s ok. The batman could be anybody (only it’s actually Bruce Wayne and not some dumbass).

    2. Victor Riley

      What mouth? I haven’t seen it open… there’s just words emanating from the mustache…

    3. NinjaNick

      Yeah, he’s such a tool with a toe-shaped face. 😛

    4. Phyrexian Rogue

      The scariest part is that he actually seems to think he’s doing the right thing.

      1. N0083rP00F

        No. The scariest thing is that there are people, out there in what is referred to as The Real World[TM], that think and act just like him.

  15. Packy

    I didn’t like him before, but now I like him even LESS.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      I wonder if you slap him hard enough he’ll change in expressions.

      1. Orbit Junkie

        Slap him so hard the dent redefines his neck.

        1. you can't see me

          He has a neck? It just looks like someone slapped a head onto a body.

        2. fogel

          God

        3. N0083rP00F

          .. takes no responsibility for what an end user does with their packaging.

      2. Deanatay

        I think most of his face is just painted on – only the eyebrows seems to move.

  16. Tacos

    Ah-ha, so it looks like she plans to ditch him at the mall.

    1. Viktoria

      Nah, that’s not a long-term solution. Hell, he might end up on the same bus back to campus as she takes. She’s got to have a plan once she gets there. I’m hoping its to feed him to the animatronic animals at the Rainforest Cafe, but it’s probably something boring like trapping him in a Scientologist church.

      1. Khrene

        Dude the latter there is waaaaay more poetically just.

      2. Gangler

        I’m thinking she’s gonna text Joyce while she’s got him at the mall and hope they’ve got something worked out by the time he comes back.

        1. Gigafreak

          Does Dina even HAVE a phone?

      3. Tacos

        I never specified what part of the mall he should be ditched at. A precarious ledge high on the mall’s roof still counts…

        1. Mr Ak

          … Gotham city mall?

        2. Lawzlo

          Didn’t I see him shambling around in the Monroeville Mall?

  17. Plasma Mongoose

    Dina is an 8th Gen Grass Type Starter Pokémon.

    1. AgentKeen

      They already did the plant-saur!

      1. timemonkey

        And they did the fire/fighting reference like three or four times.

        1. AgentKeen

          Point.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        After 700+ pokemons, they can either create variations of earlier pokemon or invent even sillier concepts like a bubblewrap pokemon.

        1. Kernanator

          …I’m not going to lie, I would LOVE a bubblewrap Pokémon. What type would it be, though?

        2. JessWitt

          A new type just for it!

          Or fairy, yeah fairy.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I would go the unexpected route and make it a pure steel type.

        4. cynthash

          “[Pokemon] used WRAP!” “[Pokemon] is confused!”

        5. Kryss LaBryn

          Why–why is Elsa hugging a cuttlefish dressed like Anna?

        6. fogel

          Don’t judge.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          You’re not a Cephaphobe are you?

        8. cynthash

          Did you not know about the [cuddlefish](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11171487/1/A-Safe-Cuttlefish-Is-a-Happy-Cuttlefish)?

        9. cynthash

          Dammit, markdown doesn’t work here…

        10. Tacos

          There’s that many now? I stopped paying attention a while ago.

        11. ICSM

          720 so far.

  18. AgentKeen

    “I didn’t even know she could get angry!”

    So Becky is as important to Dina as evolution? :3

    1. Doctor_Who

      Pretty sure five minutes of talking to Ross could have Siddhārtha Gautama, Mr. Rogers, and Fluttershy all baying for blood.

      1. Biblioholic

        Oh hush. You /know/ Siddhārtha would strip him of Name and ill-gotten certainty with one sentence. Fluttershy might punch that dragon in the mouth, but Mr. Rodgers wouldn’t come out of retirement for this bozo.

      2. cynthash

        Hey, hey, hey! What’d I tell y’all about comin’ in mah shed?!

  19. NotAnElf

    If Old Continuity Dina was anywhere near this awesome I imagine there were cries for your blood when you killed her off.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      This is only about a six on Dina’s Awesomeness Scale.
      THIS was a 10.

    2. Durandal_1707

      So far, OG Dina hasn’t done much other than take abuse (with today’s coming in the form of sexual assault. What the hell, young Willis).

      1. GanymedeanOutlaw

        Aw, I haven’t checked It’s Walky today, spoilers! (I think spoilers have probably expired on something that’s 14 years old, and I’ve already read)

    3. zach

      Old continuity Dina blackmailed Mile into dating her, and beat him at his own game by provoking a violent reaction from him.

  20. wynne

    GO DINA GO!!!

  21. Yotomoe

    Reminds me of an unwarented conversation my uncle started with me that started with religion, took a detour to “gay marriage shouldn’t be legal” and somehow wound up in “Slavery isn’t that bad”. It was very uncomfortable.

    1. Lapin

      Oh gawd, I’ve been a part of that “slavery isn’t bad” conversation, and how I didn’t commit an assault is still a mystery to me.

      1. Kris

        I’m gonna be the guy that says slavery wasn’t that bad. They took us out the jungle, put structure in our lives. We danced, sang, and did basically anything but work. We’ve all heard the story of Catcha Freeman.

        1. Yotomoe

          Kris makes a good point. Catcha Freeman is, after all, a true story. Uncle Ruckus says so. And why would he lie?

      2. Awnman

        It is interesting to me that the same people who insist that slavery was an ultimately benign institution are the same people that insist that the South’s secession had nothing to do with slavery and that it was all about states rights. If you are going to claim that slavery wasn’t all that bad why wouldn’t you be proud that that society stood for it?

        1. fogel

          It’s like when someone says, “I’m not self-deceiving and hypocritical, BUT …”

  22. Cthulhu's Intern

    Take him to Mike.

  23. Mandy

    No, someone like him would definitely still pronounce it poke-man.

  24. Jude Deluca

    Wait what if she actually IS at the mall.

    1. Gigafreak

      Becky can only be at the mall if she can somehow teleport there from Joyce’s room.

  25. GoogerGeiger

    Dina’s going to have to make this convincing. She can lead him to the mall and ditch him, but he’s just going to come back to the university and ask somebody else if they’ve seen Becky.

    In other words, Dina must dispose of him.

    1. Random832

      Well, it buys her time to warn Becky – and warn everyone else – and dispose of Mary, who is smaller than Toe-dad.

  26. brumagem

    Most Old People are afraid of that word, and consider it a Word of Curse.

    1. Doctor_Who

      It is part of the Dark Speech. Speaking it has been known to summon adolescents. Thus they always mispronounce it.

  27. Mogoskier

    Guys who is Peter?

    1. Blegh

      THANK YOU. I was wondering if anyone else noticed that.

    2. agentksilver

      I assume the guy in the foreground of Panel 1.

    3. Lord Stoneheart

      He appears to just be background. (Like Brian and Jim before this storyline). In the Walkyverse he was a med student who was Mary’s fiancé. He didn’t do much. (Sometimes characters get cameos as background characters. Some like Brian and Jim have gotten speaking roles, but others like Ken, and Arnold have remained silent. So maybe Peter might pop up more later, but probably not. He could just remain as a cameo, just for Walkyverse readers to go “Hey it’s that guy.”)

  28. John

    Huh, dude in the first panel has a tag.

  29. Plasma Mongoose

    And whom is this Peter that warrants a tag?

    1. LiaHansen

      http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Peter_Paul

      oh haha peter paul and mary funny stuff

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Thanks for the info. ^__^

      2. John

        Oh, right, Walkyverse-Mary’s doctor husband. I thought he looked familiar.

      3. Random832

        The name just makes me think of coconut-filled chocolate bars.

    2. Catullus

      IIRC, he’s appeared in one of the Patreon bonus strips. I think he’s friends with Mary, inasmuch as that’s even possible.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I just hope he isn’t as bad as Mary is.

        1. fogel

          Mary delenda est.

        2. Lumin

          *stabs her* Mary fuit.

  30. LiaHansen

    that lad in the first panel is clearly on a mission. where is he going? where had he been? When will Peter’s story be told?

    1. Doctor_Who

      I was just thinking that. Dude looks ready for a fight.

    2. Quinn

      I want to know his story, his hopes, his dreams, his motivation, his allergies, and his favorite flavor of Jolly Rancher.

  31. Doctor_Who

    I know it’s mostly likely not the case, but I’m choosing to believe that Dina’s last line is a reference to the “I like it very much!” running gag from the MST3K episode Prince of Space.

    1. fogel

      If you believe it, does it really matter if it’s not true?

  32. Captain Batson

    I see now why he refused to let Becky see Frozen. Toedad is always right, and Becky could not afford to doubt her Toedad.

    1. cynthash

      “No, you may *not* ‘let it gay’!”

    2. Awnman

      And God forbid she see Tangled with its negative depiction of controlling and ultimately abusive parenting.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Disney is Satan after all. 😛

        1. gkheyf

          at the very least it promotes the idea of happiness without god’s love :3

  33. Karatesaul

    Well, I don’t get a violent vibe from Toedad… Maybe things can actually end well for once.

    1. C Baker

      He’s definitely planning to ship her off to Tranquility Bay or some god-awful ATI-type camp.

      1. TwinBladeWarrior

        I know that’s going to be something terrible but i cant help but think tranquility bay sounds like somewhere from a videogame
        and ATI makes graphics cards a camp operating entirely on Radeons and opposed to nvidia is fun idea, weird but fun

        1. TwinBladeWarrior

          so i did some research and I was right its terrible and horrifying to read about
          I honestly hate some people with a red hot fury that i cant really explain in words.

  34. brionl

    Heck, I’m old and I’ve been playing Pokemans since Yellow came out. That Jessie is one hot babe. 😉

    I’ve even been playing it recently. I only need two more to finish my National Pokedex; Thundurus and Xerneas.

    Right now, I’m hatching out Eevees trying to get the ones I have with the hidden ability (Anticipation) to also have 6 (or even just 5) perfect IVs.

    1. Moonshine McGee

      I have a Xerneas I don’t really want. Do you have any spare dittos?

      1. cynthash

        I have 20 million zubats, geodude, and tentacools. Want that?

  35. heinousactszx

    Dina would probably be all over Tyrantrum. Look at those feathers!
    http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/8/8b/697Tyrantrum.png/600px-697Tyrantrum.png

    1. Karatesaul

      Technically Tyrantrum is a dragon type…

      1. brionl

        Meh, same difference.

      2. detective boomwolf

        Eh, dragons, dinosaurs. They’re basically the same if you remove the wings, the fire breathing and the fact that one has been confirmed to have existed.

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          Peter Dickinson disagrees with you.

          Except that you weaselled out of it with the word “confirmed”. Well played, detective boomwolf, well played.

        2. detective boomwolf

          A true detective knows that proper wording can make or break a good interogation. NOW WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF MARCH 22ND, 1956?!

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          At best a spark in a grandparent’s eye, though I rather doubt any of them were thinking of their kids having kids at that point.

      3. Gangler

        It’s also a rock type, because it’s a resurrected dinosaur fossil.

  36. RuffDraft

    This guy needs to be clipped. Where’s Black Helmet Man when you need him?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Maybe Amber has some Amazi-toenail clippers some where?

  37. GMan003

    … clever girl.

  38. Romanticide

    Good desicion Dina, now I hope Joyce (or anybody else) doesn’t decide to take Becky to the mall because they are lucky like that D:

  39. timemonkey

    Yes, Dina, ditch him at the mall then run back and warn Becky and Joyce.

  40. Arkantos

    Why does that guy in the first panel look so angry?

    1. C Baker

      He wanted that Tricera-Top, but Dina snatched the last one at the store and ran off with it while he cried.

    2. Someone

      He was married to Mary in the Walkyverse, that would make anyone anger in any universe.

      1. sjmcc13

        Hopefully he is not dating her here as well…

  41. redraine

    These are definitely not lies.

    What I’m going to say now whenever I lie.

  42. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays the Elvis version of “Poke Salad Annie” on the PA speakers*

  43. Ancestral Hamster

    If Dina tells Ross that she is dressed as a dinosaur, would that be worse than a “Pokeman”? It seems like it ought to be.

    1. Mollyscribbles

      Not if she tells him she got it at the Creation Museum.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        Ah, then it’s a decent Christian God-fearing dinosaur, and so okay. Got it.

        1. Mollyscribbles

          And it’s been a while since I went to the creationist sites but I have the vague feeling he’d approve of a herbivore hoodie over her normal carnivore garb. Requires less arguing when you say they ate plants in Eden, less aggressive and thus more acceptable for a female to wear . . . *goes to check*

          *returns, dunks head in tank of brain bleach*
          Well, guess we’ll never know what creationists really think of the matter.

        2. Mollyscribbles

          Since I’ve retained some memory of the comic after the bleach, I’ll say that since Becky has likely covered numerous creationist talking points for the purpose of debate (allowing Dina to educate her on the subject), Dina has knowledge of the sort of thing she’d need to say to deceive him into thinking it was a God-created Tricera-Top.

  44. Lapin

    I’m actually really worried now. This dude seems like the type who believes in “by any means”, and he’s a lot bigger than Dina. (Please Dina, have a taser on hand)

  45. detective boomwolf

    ……. He took a shot at Pokemon…. this man is now my enemy. I might’ve been able to forgive the hardcore fundamentilism (I probably mispelled that) in the first couple of panels. But you take a shot at Pokemon, and you and me are gonna have a problem.

    1. JessWitt

      Same here, comrade. This guy is DoA enemy number one.

      1. detective boomwolf

        There are some things I can tolerate to a degree. I can tolerate ripping on the Harry Potter series to some degree, mainly since I haven’t seen it (been meaning to) so I care a little less about it. Same goes for Lord of the Rings. But you touch Pokemon and I will fight you! … Not literally though, but I will yell at you so hard.

        (fun fact, despite being one of the most Christian people I know, Papa Boomwolf is a rather avid Harry Potter fan. And he has the HD collectors edition of the Lord of the Rings series. I think my dad is a bigger nerd than me.)

        1. Karatesaul

          It’s possible to be very religious or spiritual, and still be sane.

          My father is a Rabbi, and is one of the most tolerant, smart, and sane people I know.

          I consider myself fairly religious too, but I also try my best to be tolerant, aware, and intelligent.

    2. Ruthful

      Homophobia and child abuse is forgivable, but God forbid you turn the attention of your religious zealotism to video games, am I right?

      1. detective boomwolf

        Well when you put it like that, makes me realize I didn’t think that comment that far out

      2. detective boomwolf

        And as I think about it more, chalk one more thing on the internet I wish I’d put differently.

  46. Mr. Random

    It’s just as I feared. He’s the caring type. The kind who legitimately cares, bit his views force him to harm, even though he thinks he’s helping.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      So you’re saying that Good Is Not Nice?

      1. Someone

        more like http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WellIntentionedExtremist

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yeah, that also fits.

    2. detective boomwolf

      So kinda like the mom from that movie “Carrie”, only instead of being mentally unsoujd, he’s just kind of stupid.

      1. Someone

        Quick question detective. Are you a private detective or do you work for the police? Also It would be good if Becky killed everyone with psychic powers.

        1. detective boomwolf

          Mostly private. Though I have been known to work with the flatfoots on special occassions.

        2. Someone

          Good very good, detective

        3. Awnman

          Oh god now I want a drawing of Jacob in a fedora and trench coat with Sal as a “dame”

        4. detective boomwolf

          I think you mean Sarah dude.

        5. Someone

          here you go 🙂

          http://chickenforyou.tumblr.com/post/126074543797/another-dumbing-of-age-fan-art-this-time-with

        6. Awnman

          YOU ARE AMAZING. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!

      2. Karatesaul

        Or the mother from Binding of Isaac?

        1. detective boomwolf

          Well now thats just a mean comparison. Toedad isn’t that ugly.

  47. Yu'Karaya

    I’m relating to Dina more and more everyday

  48. SUGauthor

    Ugh, I hate it when the bad guys thinks they’re the good guy. It makes it so much harder to hate them.

    1. Someone

      but that just means their more likely to see the error of there ways and pull a heel face turn

      1. cynthash

        Not a toeface turn?

        1. xKiv

          Wouldn’t that just be a doubleface in this case?

    2. sjmcc13

      To me it depends on why they think they are the good guys, and this is one case where I have no sympathy, or pity. Though there are cases that mke me feel each for villains.

    3. thebatman22

      I dunno his logic makes me hate him more.

    4. detective boomwolf

      Really? Makes me hate em even more. They’re so convinced they’re right, it just makes their downfall that much sweeter.

      Now when its just them truly wanting to do whats right and it turns out their just rather misguided, thats another thing.

    5. SonicBlueRanger

      When they’re doing things that are horrible that they think are good I find it’s still pretty easy to hate them.

    6. Li

      so… always?

      With very rare exceptions, no one actually thinks they’re the bad guy.

  49. LiaHansen

    Yeah ive changed my mind about Rossdemption. Stub the toe.

    1. detective boomwolf

      Wow… stub the toe sounds both terrifying and hilarious at the same time.

      1. ozzi

        Stub the toedad is my next band name ib guitar hero

  50. JessWitt

    Ross doesn’t know about dinosaurs, does he? The dolt.

    1. thebatman22

      He probably believes they do not exist due to being a close minded fucknugget.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Two potential Roosviews: 1) Dinosaurs did not exist, and the bones that have been found were placed there by God to test our faith (i.e., if the bones make you believe there were dinosaurs even though they’re not mentioned in the Bible, you fail at faith) or 2) dinosaurs existed, and missed the Ark. Considering how mind-boggling both views are, I’m not sure “close-minded” is the right description. You’ve got to have a pretty great imagination to take those on.

        1. Mollyscribbles

          The Creation museum takes a third view, that Dinosaurs were on the Ark (because Moses needed to take two of EVERY creature, including mosquitoes) but went extinct shortly after due to there being less oxygen in the air post-flood or something.

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      He probably has the same view of dinosaurs as Joyce does. Seeing as how Joyce got her views from her parents and other adults in the community. (I think this means they believe that humans lived with dinosaurs, but they were hunted to extinction after the flood. I’m not positive because I don’t think it was mentioned in the strip itself and I might just be basing this off a Chick Tract I once saw. And Joyce has read Chick Tracts.)

      1. cynthash

        Chick tracts… *shudders*

  51. newllend(henryvolt)

    Dude there’s being religious then there’s acting like your in a cult.

    1. sjmcc13

      He is not in a cult???

      1. Opus the Poet

        Yes, yes he is in a cult.

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          A Jewish cult, at that. Point that out to him and he may explode.

  52. Sarah-2

    Who’s at the mall, Dina? WHO’S AT THE MALL

    And oh crap Becky’s mom died that recently? Have we already heard this?

  53. Saaaam

    Does the mall have a giant blender to push him in.

    1. Lone Wolf

      Misread that as “Does the mall have a gender blender to push him in.”

      1. Opus the Poet

        That would be excessively awesome.

      2. TwinBladeWarrior

        now i really want a crossover with el goonish shive, home of transformative madness and a gender bending superhero(ine) (who incidentally is currently at the mall on a date)

    2. HMRC4EVR

      It’s the mall, not The Joker’s hideout sadly.

  54. Menocu

    I love seeing passive aggressive Dina.

  55. Bicycle Bill

    Next strip — Dina tells him “I have no soul”; ToeDad cannot comprehend this, his brain short-circuits, and his head explodes like one of the fem-bots in “Austin Powers”.

  56. Zaidyer

    Hmm, camo pants, rugged build, disheveled appearance, stilted speech… I think this is a man who lost his mind in the war and found Jesus instead. He probably thinks god will fix him if he just concentrates his faith really hard and makes sure all those square pegs out there in the world are pounded into round holes.

    Guess how well it’s working for him.

    1. Rutee

      IIRC, Willis has confirmed he is not a former member of the US Armed Forces in any way, shape, or form.

  57. NotMe

    So, Who’s Peter?

    1. xKiv

      she said, and smiled in her special way.

  58. OhNoUDiNt

    I like to imagine that he’s actually pronouncing the two words “poke” and “man” as a compound word.

    1. gkheyf

      i think that would be more endearing than the way ppl traditionally get it wrong

  59. Kiggy

    He may look like a toe, but he speaks like …a tape recorder.

    Also, I love Dina’s expression in the last panel >:D

    My fave character, that Dina is ^_^

    1. BenRG

      I’m glad that I’m not the only one who finds something weird about Ross’s speech patterns.

      1. EvolutionistX

        I suspect a lot of people find them weird. Because they’re definitely weird.

        1. Kiggy

          He just internalizes what has been told to him and then, plays it back verbatim like a recording, or a robot.

          Indoctrination/brainwashing.

  60. Opus the Poet

    I’m calling Ross’ D&D alignment as lawful evil, but he thinks he’s lawful good.

    1. detective boomwolf

      I think everyone wants to think they’re some variant of good alignment.

      1. Agemegos

        Except for the English, apparently. “Chaotic Evil” was the most popular aligning in England in a big player survey twenty years ago.

        1. detective boomwolf

          Wow, really? I’m a Chaotic Neutral guy myself, though I tend to dip into Meutral evil every once and a while.

        2. Opus the Poet

          Since my characters tend to be Warlocks who can only be on the Chaotic or Evil axiis, I play a lot of ChG characters. In one game he took over a brothel and released all the NPCs under magical compulsions from the compulsions. It hurt business for exactly one day, until I let the rumor get spread that if one of my girls gave you a compliment it was real, not the result of some spell. Then I told all the girls that being nice to the customers would result in better tips. By the end of the week my brothel was packed and the rest in town were out of business… That is what ChG alignment can do. The “little guy” gets ahead, while the abusers and the exploiters get gotsu. 😀

        3. BenRG

          Yes, unfortunately it says a lot about my country that we have a generation growing up who believe that ‘Evlulz is fun’ and enjoy playing evil characters to ‘let off steam’.

    2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      There’s a big difference between being evil and being a colossal fuckwad. For example, both Galasso and Head Alien are clearly evil, but only Head Alien makes you want to punch him in the face. Calling Ross evil is an insult to evil. He’s more “asshole neutral”, in that he doesn’t care whether he’s right or not. My definition of evil and good are: evil is based on knowing that you’re doing something wrong and doing it anyway. Good is based on knowing that you’re helping someone, although this has the unfortunate side effect of classifying Ross as “delusional Good”, making his full alignment “delusional asshole Good”.

  61. Amber

    Okay, so I’ve never read any of the Alternateverse stuff… is the guy in the first panel Becky’s brother? Does she have a brother?

    1. Someone

      Marys husband…later ex don’t worry he isn’t all that important

      1. detective boomwolf

        Wow, her ex. Thats such a surprise. Why would anyone leave such a shining example of humanity and kindness like Mary?

        … internet sarcasm doesn’t work as well as real sarcasm…

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Nah, sometimes it does. 😉

  62. Speedball

    Ahh, yes. You know, if you ever feel the NEED to point out your own compassion…

  63. Henry

    There’s an age bracket that still calls them “Pokemans”, Willis. I think it tends to be people who are over 50, though. The numbers are dwindling.

  64. Bagge

    “Compassionate man…” Ross has been given a gift. The most wonderful gift of all — the best possible thing anyone could ever be given – a child* – and he ruined it. He has been given first row seat to someone else’s life and he uses it to tear her down. He has been given the power to coatch and to guide and to help, and he uses it to restrain and limit.

    A parent’s job is to be there, to support, to lift up. But for Ross his own control is more important than Becky’s life. He has ceased to be a parent and is just a bully. An exedingly dangerous bully because he has so much power over her, and determinaton to exert that power whatever it takes. “corrected” “rehabilitated” “any means nessecary”…

    Fudge you, Ross.

    *) Well, for some people

    1. Cerberus

      It’s because he comes from a worldview where women and children are possessions, much like toasters. Everyone knows that toasters have a specific role to make the toast. If a toaster got all uppity and make out with the blender and insisted on defying them and their reasonable toast demands, then clearly they have a defective, broken, possibly even possessed toaster.

      And like all broken possessions, it just needs to be “fixed” to be a proper toaster again and forget all the blender girl nonsense…

      But yeah, right there with you. Having been front row and center to the “you need to come home now so we can fix you” conversation, it never gets less surreal the more you encounter it. I just can’t fathom how one gets to that point where control and enforcing a reality that simply doesn’t exist anymore become more important than the people you claim to love.

      But I suppose for a disturbing amount of people, they care far more about appearances and control than doing the hard work to do right by loved ones.

      1. Rebecca

        I think what makes this worse is that Christianity and Jesus’ teachings are actually pretty liberating for women compared to Judaism and the culture at the time. Jesus had women who followed and supported his ministry, he first appeared to three women at his resurrection, and he generally treated women leaps and bounds better than the general population did. (The Samaritan woman at the well, the woman who had the bleeding disease, the woman caught in adultery… the list goes on.)
        Christians now who diminish the value of women and treat them as possessions or second class citizens aren’t even close to how Jesus treated women.

        1. Jenny Islander

          Or how the apostles treated women, seeing as how quite a few of them were women themselves. At morning prayer, we just read the account of how this guy came up from Alexandria (a Jewish guy named after a Greek god who was from a Greek city that happened to be the greatest conurbation in Romanized Egypt–the Roman Empire was cosmopolitan as all get-out) to preach in what is now Turkey, but had to be taken aside and given remedial education by Priscilla and Aquila, two of Paul’s fellow apostles, because they knew more about Christianity than he did. I don’t have my Bible next to me ATM, but I think it’s in Acts 19.

      2. Bagge

        Yeah, it’s… no, I don’t really have words for it. It’s such a fundamental betrayer of what being a parent is all about.

  65. Resulli

    Is…is there actually people like this out there? I always associate it with exaggeration from people who want to believe religious people are evil or purely for comedic effect.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Yes, there are actual people out there like Ross. I have met some of them.

    2. Cerberus

      Yes.

      Most of my friends in high school had parents with this exact type of belief system right down to blaming any influence they didn’t like or teenage rebellion on demonic infiltration.

      As such, my role in most of those friendships was holding on to the contraband of music CDs or video games or so on when they needed to hide them from their incredibly controlling paranoid parents.

      It’s a whole pre-millennial dispensationalist fundie thing.

      And as for the “this person needs to leave their life and come home right this instance so I can fix them of their broken delusions” bit… well, hell, my dad pulled this card about 2 or so years ago and then spent a good ‘nother year trying to sabotage my life enough to force me to move back home with him so he could get me into reparative therapy, because in his eyes “being trans” isn’t a real thing and a sign of deep mental illness that needs to be fixed with the liberal application of “tough love” and a corrective hand.

      So yeah, this complete fuck of a Toedad is not particularly out of my lived experiences.

      1. cynthash

        Ugh. From a former IFB transwoman, I know that feel and send all the hugs. You’re awesome and stuff. <3

    3. kelticat

      I’m related to some hyper-religious fundies myself. Thank Goddess I’m relatively sane.

    4. theskeuomorph

      Yep. Clearly you never grew up with fundies.

      1. Resulli

        Apparently not. My city is full of Christians, including most of my family, but this is nothing like what I’ve ever known from religious people.

    5. alschroeder3

      Absolutely there are people like that out there. The vast majority of religious people are NOT like that, but (A) they don’t make for good stories and (B) they don’t stand out from the crowd in real life. So you won’t see them here (or if you did, you’d never know it). Since this is based on the author’s life, we can assume in his college life he didn’t encounter a reasonable religious person either, just ultra-fundies, which also was his backgrond.

      1. Lord Stoneheart

        Joyce in the Walkyverse settled into religious views that were much more reasonable than her pre-mind wipe ones, while still being devout I think. Whether she does something similar here is yet to be seen though. And most characters in DoA aren’t atheists. (Dorothy is, and I think Walky might be as well)

    6. Gangler

      It’s kind of a whole thing. There’s a movement to outlaw conversion therapy because parents like him keep driving their children to suicide.

  66. man jean

    violent sigh of relief

  67. Bagge

    Becky’s mom passed away just the last year? Maaaan, Becky has the time of her life, doesn’t she?

  68. The Thing

    My spider sense is warning me that Dad unit probably isn’t going to be a fully-fledged character so much as a way for the audience to get catharsis at a dressing-down of badwrong politics/beliefs.

    1. Rutee

      You pretty much only read willis’ work to complain about it, don’t you?

      1. Cedric Y. Berman

        I don’t understand your problem. As much as I am looking forward to the dad unit being put in his place, this made me laugh because it’s true. It doesn’t hurt to come face to face with your biases (which aren’t necessarily all wrong) every once in a while. It’s a standard storytelling technique to imbue a character with shitty traits and have an inverse Hero’s Journey where they get taught ‘the lesson’ that fits in to the authors narrative.

        1. Rutee

          You mean like ‘every other day of my life, at least’? What is with random internet people assuming they’re the one person breaking through an echo chamber? I’m well aware that Willis is keeping toedad wrong (I’m pretty sure he was always wrong, just in a very different way before). If that was this dude’s only comment, I wouldn’t have said ‘you really only comment here to complain do you?’. That was pretty much all he did on SP!.

    2. Spencer

      Well for starters, all the parents are extensions of their kids in this comic and only matter in their relationships with them. This isn’t Parents of Age.

      There literally is no way for someone to hold these beliefs and not be a total shitbag, let alone actually acting on them to your daughter. If Ross just quietly seethed in his armchair about “them gays” then he’d just be an asshole, but he is actively trying to destroy his daughter’s life.

      This is not something to just passively accept. People like Ross exist and they do this shit to their kids and nobody stops them.

      1. The Thing

        >There is literally no way for someone to hold these beliefs and not be a total shitbag.

        Understanding another person’s viewpoint is the key to connecting with them and, in time, perhaps helping them to change that viewpoint. The only reason Matt Dillahunty, for example, is able to reach Christians is because A. he was one for the majority of his life so he understands where they’re coming from, and B. he doesn’t (at least initially) lash out at them for their beliefs.

        If the goal of being a progressive (or whatever we’d like to call ourselves) is to widen the scope and reach of our particular worldview, a good starting point would be to not engage in the kind of ‘Othering’ that we often accuse our opponents of doing, i.e. reducing people we don’t like to stock stereotypes/strawmen in order to lessen our empathy with them.

        Joyce is my favorite character precisely because she isn’t treated as an Other, despite many of her views that put her far outside what anyone would consider ‘Progressive’ or ‘Liberal’; her confrontation with her parents over her friendship with Dorothy is a highlight because it shows that even insular people like her parents are whole and complete people who can, sometimes, be reached.

        It would be nice to see the same sort of reconciliation or what have you reached between Becky and her father; we don’t need another Amber’s dad.

        1. Rutee

          Why not? Why do we Need Another Joyce’s Parents when we don’t Need Another Amber’s Dad? It doesn’t matter if someone can theoretically be reached when they’re trying to fucking hurt you or your loved ones, in an immediate and visceral way. Damage control trumps making the people trying to hurt you into better people – even if they’re family (Especially then, if they’re the sort to use that to better leverage hurt. And well, if we’re talking about damage control in the first place…)

          For all your fussing about how fiction needs less ‘othering’ (That word doesn’t mean what you think it means, but more on that later), you’re not missing that fiction really does not actually support this important point. There’s so much focus on a super happy ending that isn’t always possible in the real world, (you just have to try more). Special episodes (which, for the most part, is all we get) usually end with the jerk ACTUALLY LEARNING THEIR LESSON. CAn people be reached? Sometimes. But always, we are obligated to try until the heat death of the universe. And you want Willis to add to this out of some desire to avoid ‘stock stereotypes’ and ‘not just provide catharsis’.

          Also, fyi: If all Othering did was lead to an increase in bad writing, I think most people would be fine with it. The problem is that it’s ultimately a way to treat people as, well. Not people. An EFFECT of this is that stock stereotypes will be used in fiction, but it’s symptomatic, not the sum and total of the effect. Also, not sure I’d say this is a ‘stock’ stereotype. Not a whole lot of call for people who’d throw their kids into ‘corrective’ therapy in fiction.

  69. Kim

    Had to weite somehibg because of gravatar!

  70. Kim

    Aw :/ two late

  71. sps48

    Should not Toedad be at church on this Sunday morning?

    1. doubleW

      Ah, but he’s doing the Lord’s Work of getting his daughter sent to an extremely -below-standard pretend-asylum.

      Hopefully his pinprick waist gives out and sends his massive torso onto his teeny legs.

    2. metaceryn

      Amen I say to you, all hypocrisies are possible through the LORD.

      (I mean, he’s not essential to the process, but wowee He sure does help.)

    3. winter

      It’s already afternoon. Joyce and Becky went to church this morning, and Joyce has returned to take Ethan to the thing. As much as I hate to come to Toedad’s defense, it’s entirely possible he went to church earlier this Sunday, and is not a hypocrite for all his other faults.

    4. SonicBlueRanger

      I just assumed he stopped by a Church before hunting own his Daughter.

      1. Jen Aside

        …though this is across the state from their hometown?

        or did he get a churchy top-up at one of the locals

  72. Random Comment

    Good job Dina. Good job. Seriously, that isn’t sarcasm. And now that sounds like sarcasm but it isn’t. That wasn’t either. This is just a loop at this point.

  73. Yumi

    I wouldn’t assume that Dina is going WITH him to the mall. Rather, I see her doing something more like getting him on a bus there and then running to warn Becky.

  74. Bearpelt

    dINA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

  75. metaceryn

    Oh, if only there was a neck to strangle.

  76. doubleW

    I pronounce it ‘pokemans’ to annoy my CCG/competative-gaming friends.

    1. detective boomwolf

      Oddly enough, I’ve called it Pokklemans and Porkeymans, but never Pokemans.

    2. ICSM

      Try calling them pogeymans. Its what works best for me.

      1. darkoneko

        Boogeyman ?

  77. Victor Riley

    Yes… “compassionate” man. Unfortunately someone who says they’re willing to use “any means necessary” isn’t really as compassionate as they think they are.

    1. BenRG

      Hey! At least he didn’t go the Roman Paterfamilas way and have a family friend kill her on the spot! It happens often enough that not doing that is an astonishing act of mercy on his part, at least in his eyes!

  78. read all over

    The way he says that he knows what she needs and will rehabilitate her by any means necessary scares me deeply.
    And it upsets me cause he reminds me of the father from cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

    1. tigerflower

      awww no why’d you have to point that out? CWaCoM dad is awesome and toe dad is not.

      1. read all over

        Well there are still a lot of differences between them, the hair, the lack of monobrow, and the camouflage pants.

  79. WingedBeast

    It’s not just the anger, it’s the sadness.

    Dude, I believe you love her. You don’t have to let up on your faith in Jesus, but at least let up on your faith that Jesus is an asshole.

  80. Jesse

    I’ve only heard/read “Pokeyman” used ironically by people who know what Pokemon is.

  81. Peruhain

    The camo pants say it all. That wonderfully creepy combo of libertarian republicanism, paranoid gunnutism, and twisted evangelical theology . . . I don’t think I want to know how her father plans to “fix” her sexual orientation.

    1. Jesse

      I’m opposed to all those things, but I still like camo pants.

  82. Biblioholic

    Ross… oh god I’m actually going to put this in that bigoted dialect… if you’re going to blindly believe in the popular mainstream face of Jesus that’s actually a Rennaisance painter’s gay lover’s portrait THERE ARE CLEARLY SOME THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOUR RELIGIOUS LEADERS AND IT IS YOUR OWN SAVIOR’S WORD THAT YOU SHOULD BE DEFAULTING TO HERE, NOT THE “FALSE IDOLS.” Love thy neighbor already, and cast ye not that stone just because others are doing it to their daughters. No semantics whatsoever shield you here, for you are the first to cast this stone at YOUR daughter, who (*flips passionately off handle*) DOES //NOT// EXIST FOR YOUR SAKE ANY MORE THAN GOD HIM/HERSELF EXISTS FOR YOUR SELF DEFINED (POSSIBLY SELF-MISGUIDED????????) COMPASSION.

  83. Palamdrone

    Dina is going to lead him to Raidah and her group!

    1. read all over

      That’s just heartless. No one deserves that.

      1. gkheyf

        well, if they are at the mall, then raidah has lost my trust. she clearly told jacob that she was going to study.

    2. TsunamiJane

      Exactly my thoughts.

  84. segnosaur

    Wait a second… its Sunday morning? (I thought a bit more time had passed during the day.) This brings up 2 issues:

    Why isn’t Joyce in church herself? I know she cares about Ethan, so I guess it shows growth on her part that she’d miss church (something that is a big part of her life) to go to a pro-gay meeting.

    Why was the “asking questions” meeting on a Sunday morning? I know strongly religious christians will probably be in a minority in such a gathering, but it still seems like a weird time to hold the meeting.

    1. Yumi

      Perhaps it’s afternoon now, but since Dina said she saw Becky there earlier in the day, he took that to mean she was there in the morning.

    2. Torra

      It’s Sunday afternoon! The questioning/free pizza meet was at 3pm 🙂

      1. Yumi

        1pm-3pm, according to the sign.

        Sidenote, Korrasami yessss.

        1. segnosaur

          Ah ok.

          I was assuming it was earlier because Toe-head thought she was at the mall rather than church, not thinking that seeing her “earlier” could have also meant early afternoon (I was giving toe-head more credit than he deserves.)

        2. Torra

          Ah my bad! Thats what I get for relying on my memory.

          korrasami are wonderful, I just wished we could’ve seen more of it instead of just the last season~ but still one of my fave ships!

        3. gkheyf

          i’d launch that

        4. Carolyn

          Rejoice! An Avatar comic series is coming that will pick up where the show left off!

    3. Mollyscribbles

      Even if it’s Sunday afternoon, he’s likely the type who believes that all stores should be closed on Sundays.

    4. Tacos

      Joyce said she and Becky already went to church in the morning. Plus it’s already afternoon.

    5. BenRG

      It is curious. However, someone up-thread pointed out that Ross was there “doing the Lord’s work”, in his eyes. I think that it’s plausible that Joyce considers being there for her friend Ethan is as important as that to her.

  85. Confuzor

    I hear Sgt. Hatred’s voice (from Venture Bros) when reading Mr. MacIntyre’s lines.

    1. Jen Aside

      I keep reading in Gryzlikoff‘s voice and I don’t know why because I’m pretty sure MacIntyre isn’t Russian… not even fakey Russian =p

  86. BenRG

    This was a nice light-hearted strip after all the dark foreboding. As I suspected, Ross is a man characterised first by ignorance of the world. Then second by the dangerous fallacy that everyone needs to do and think exactly the same as him to be good people. Finally by a dangerous combination of dogma and lack of true spirituality.

    I just want to note that I called it yesterday that he wouldn’t know what a Triceratops is. I’m genuinely surprised that he knew what a Pokéman is, although, naturally, he’d call them demonic.

    This is a guess but I think that Dina is going to try to lose Ross in a crowd at the mall. Not a bad off-the-cuff plan but a bit too short-term for my tastes.

    1. ninja_jesus

      He would know what Pokeymen are because he’s always up-to-date on modern-day culture that blasphemes against the Lord.

      1. Tacos

        Then what would he think about children’s card games? Especially if played on motorcycles.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Card games officially approved by God are permitted (basically any that play by 6-4 BC: First Edition/10 AD: Gospel of Luke Expansion rules), but motorcycles are the devil’s vehicle and are to be cast into the abyss.

  87. ninja_jesus

    I predict Dina will use her powers of blending into crowds to evade him at the mall. Clever girl!

  88. electromagneticDestroyosaur

    And here I was slightly hopeful for a redemption, until he started taking too much stock in symbols in the last panel.

  89. KSClaw

    I love how the dino hoodie looks like it’s rolling its eyes at the whole thing.

  90. Bluesnake462

    My dad still calls them pokemans

  91. Mollyscribbles

    Wait, is the Evil One Joyce, a vague reference along the lines of ‘idle hands are the devil’s playground’, or is it referring to an actual other person?

    1. Omskivar

      Pretty sure he’s talking about Satan.

    2. Marie

      I assumed either her roommate or the devil.

      1. Mollyscribbles

        Didn’t think it’d be her roommate since he implied it was over the past year they’ve been influencing her . . . though I might be misreading.

    3. Agemegos

      It seems meant to pass for a reference to the Devil, but turn out later to be a real person. Dramatically, it might be Joyce, but so far we haven’t seen anything that might make him think Joyce had anything to do with it. But Becky has been crushing on Joyce for a lot time, and perhaps she left evidence of that somewhere that Ross has seen but that Joyce doesn’t know about. Diaries? Poems? Drawings? Unposted love-letters?

  92. CJ

    “Your children are not YOUR children, they are the sons and daughters of life longing for itself …”
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HCVvoL_F5gA
    Sweet honey in the rock

  93. Idon'tcarenomore

    Losing Toedad at the mall should be easy for Dina, she can disappear in a closet or a crowed room.
    If she can get a call to Joyce or anyone back at the dorms to warn Becky to get off campus, or hide, that would work.
    Getting totally out of his reach is the most important thing for both her and Becky.

    1. segnosaur

      I don’t even think she’d need a closet or crowded room. Just tell Toe-head “You check the clothing store I’ll check the food court” and then leave the mall. It would guarantee that Toe-head would be separated from Dina for several minutes, and it will be less likely that he’ll become suspicious immediately.

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      She could just text her, too. People text stuff all the time; Toedad wouldn’t necessarily pick up on that. More private than calling; quicker than ditching him and the mall and running back to warn them.

      I suspect she may be trying to enlist mall security, though, to hold him until the police arrive. After all, Becky is legally an adult now…

      1. Lord Stoneheart

        Becky doesn’t have a phone. And Dina might not have Joyce’s number.

        1. segnosaur

          Heck, does Dina even have a phone? I don’t remember ever seeing her with one. (I know its almost universal that people have them these days, but I could see her being uninterested in technology not related to dinosaurs.)

        2. Someone

          of course she has a phone, she needs it to look up dinosaur facts!

        3. gkheyf

          or for the rare opportunity to take a pic of one running by!

          …well if it does happen, would you want to miss it?

        4. Marie

          She could call Amber. She doesn’t have to sic her on Ross, but Amber knows what Becky looks like and should be sympathetic (and wouldn’t yet have an amazigirl conflict, since it isn’t clear yet that Becky was staying there indefinitely and thus breaking rules).

  94. Idon'tcarenomore

    Love the last panel: “these are absolutely not lies…I like you very much”

    I love Dina.

  95. kay

    Dina.

    I think you might need practice on this “lying” thing. ;;;; (So epic, though.)

    1. BenRG

      I really don’t think that Ross will notice. He strikes me as the sort of person who misses fairly obvious tells. That’s how Becky was able to slip away, she was in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

  96. Anywhere

    So, Dina-wearing-a-dino-hat evolves into Dina-wearing-a-Tricera-Top™ ?

  97. Christina

    Dina was not my favorite. Now she is, by a vast margin.

  98. Cerberus

    Aww, they’re friends. Happy murder friends.

    Look how happy Dina looks to be with her new best buddy. And as she says, she is definitely not lying. Clearly this is the beginning of a zany madcap buddy road trip that will only be mildly fatal for the Foot Fungus.

  99. Cerberus

    Man is Dina fucking slick here with this ploy. Already in about 10 sentences or so, she’s moved him out of a location he was at risk of bumping into Becky, played to his expectations of an overly-polite young girl, removed him from the possibility of getting her location from another student, earned his trust, gotten more information on her girlfriend’s background as well as her father’s relationship to her, confirmed that her gut instinct that he wasn’t up to any good was correct, found strong moral reason to justify fucking him over, and got to practice lying/sarcasm as a social tactic.

    Clever girl, indeed.

    1. Jen

      Yes! all of this! 🙂

    2. Deanatay

      Yes, Dina now has practice lying. I can’t imagine she is enjoying it, though – look at her face!

      Yep, hasn’t learned to lie with her face, yet.

    3. Blue

      Also, judging from the piece of tape on the picture of Becky she’s holding, taken down the ‘Missing’ poster he put up, thus preventing anyone from noticing it later.

      1. Bagge

        Ooooh. Neat.

    4. Bagge

      I was curious when this chapter started how the discussions would go. This commentator field can be kinda divisive and a lot of us like to pick sides, but still we all seem to agree on the one fundamental truth that Dina is Awesome.

      Now we had an entire storyline from her perspective coming up. Would all the obvious praise be mixed with a faction growing tired of her? Would she fall from her pedestal? Would she be even more awesome. Turns out it was the last one!

      This is AWESOME work. Dina has, as you said, with just a few well chosen words taken control of the situation and completely derailed toedad’s momentum. At the very least her actions will give Becky an early warning.

  100. otusasio451

    You know, Ross, I’m a faithful Episcopalian (who’s training to become an evolutionary biologist, but let’s not stray from the point). And I just wanna say that this strip, well…this strip inspired me.

    …To just punch you. SO hard. Just…just right IN the face. I don’t care if you’re a fictional character on my computer screen, YOUR ASS IS GRASS.

    …With mah prayers.

  101. Rycan

    Dina, just find a store at the mall with a narrow doorway, and Ross will find himself in a toejam. Problem solved.

  102. Grus

    Where is his mouth. I don’t understand where his mouth is. ;_;

    1. Ashley

      Obviously he has no mouth and is using his asshole to speak.

  103. Ashley

    *waves a little Dina flag*
    Go, Dina!

    1. Bagge

      *Joins you, pulls out a slightly smaller flag*
      Go Dina!

  104. Mona

    Oh, very good. Taking him to Ruth / Amazigirl etc would have had the problem that they are all on the same floor as Becky currently is – if she had poked out of Billies room in a bad moment, that could have gone horribly wrong. At the mall Dina can lose him and alarm everyone. *nod* Or she is actually getting him to her raptor pit, I prefer that one.

    Hm, if it’s sunday morning, does that mean Joyce ditched church in favour of going to the meeting with Ethan? Approved!

    And lastly, it’s nice to see Dina shares my ethics. Lying to people we strongly dislike is perfectly fine :3

    1. sjmcc13

      They went before the meeting.

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      I’m not sure if it’s stated explicitly, but I think Joyce went to church before the meeting. (The meeting started at 1). I do remember some months ago, Willis put up a clothing model of Joyce in her outfit for this storyline and described it as church clothes. And Joyce really doesn’t seem like the type to skip church.

      1. sjmcc13

        It is explicitly stated Joyce and Ethan just came from church.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/meetup/

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          That it is! My bad. (I wonder if Ethan is still going to church now that Joyce is no longer trying to de-gay him. When Joyce says “We” I think she meant her and Becky, because Dina brought up Becky when asking).

  105. NinjaNick

    Too bad dinosaurs don’t exist so they can eat Ross up.

    1. Usayasha

      Technically dinosaurs do exist, as birds are descended from and still have all of the qualifications of dinosaurs. So all we need is for a flock of birds to eat Ross up.

      1. chris73

        Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU

        1. Sunny

          Huh, I was expecting scenes from a Hitchcock movie.

      2. Cybersnark

        Hmm. Are there any ostriches around? They wouldn’t need an explanation to attack him, since they’re just assholes in general.

        1. Agemegos

          Cassowary!

      3. Nightsbridge

        Thank you dina and off-dina

  106. ThatGuy

    first weird out is that he’s not just homophobic, but deeply troubled. Second weird out is realizing that there are people like him.

  107. Usayasha

    Reading everyone’s reactions here is such an interesting experience for me.

    Now I don’t agree with what Ross is saying. I’m gay and Reform Jewish so there is literally no point for he and I to agree on here. But because I live in Texas (one of the redder parts of Texas) the things he says just ring so… normal.
    I find his type to be aggravating, and to encourage a sort of “Oh, this again.” feeling, because I know there’s nothing I can say to change his mind and because I’m so used to him that I almost find them harmless. Like a mosquito – I know they’re a huge problem, but in practice I can only find them annoying.

    And yet everyone is responding with such vitriol and vigor against his comments and beliefs that it catches me off guard. It’s refreshing in a way, but I’m filled with so much wonder at what it must be like to find him surprising.
    This guy is normal. He’s the everyman that opposes gay marriage and takes belief in his religion too seriously (without taking the study of his religion seriously enough because honestly a good look at history and the contexts of the source material would change so much).

    Do you people live in a world without homophobes, or do they act in some sort of entirely different manner? What is it like to live in a place so different that Ross’s words inspire anything other than exasperation? I’d honestly love some sort of feedback here, because I’m really curious.

    1. Zaxares

      While I dislike Ross too, I actually also find it hard to condemn him. Despite it all, he’s still doing what he feels is best for his daughter, according to his spiritual beliefs. He can’t conceive or accept that there are other ways to live, because he has always been told that this is wrong and there is no other option.

      How many things do we do every day that stem from similar beliefs, and that we might one day find out to be incorrect? For instance, growing up I went through the phase where eggs were considered to be bad for you, and now they’re supposed to be good for you again. I’ve read all the science and concur with the latest findings, yet there’s still always this little voice in my head that says “Easy there, buddy!” when I have eggs.

      Trying to go against your upbringing is a very difficult thing, and not everybody can do it. That doesn’t necessarily make them the scum of the earth.

      1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        Really? I feel that his utter loathsome stupidity and self-righteousness and just being too bloodymindedly stubborn to think for a second about the validity of his own beliefs is what makes him so horrible.

      2. sjmcc13

        I do not find it hard to condemn him, he is an anti-intellectual bigot.
        He thinks he is doing the right thing, because he has shut down his brain and echo-chambered himself into believing his garbage.

        Ross’s actions are more in line with someone who is using cherry picked Religion to justify his opinions so he does not have to think/reflect/grow/etc, this is not something that is justifiable, especially since there are often large parts of his holy book that contradict these types of actions and beliefs we see.

        The problem is not the beliefs, it is shutting down his introspection. The number of christians who do not understand or follow jesus’s message in the bible is appalling, and not justifiable since if you are claiming to follow someones teachings you need to understand them. I have heard numerous stories over the years about christians (even ministers) dismissing direct word for word gospel quotes of Jesus’s words as wrong/non-relevant/homosexual interpretation/liberal lies/etc because the quote contradicted their viewpoint.

        Look back at the party and why they were not allowed to watch Frozen, He is the type to think blindly following your parents is honoring them, and as such forbid Becky from watching a movie that has the parents being wrong a part of the plot. Blind obedience when you know someone is wrong is not honouring that person.

        Ross is acting like his actions are prefect, but any reasonable analysis shows that since we are not perfect, our actions are not perfect, and we NEED to actually evaluate and think about when we do. Ross is not thinking about his actions except to justify them. The bad thing is that from a christian “need to guard against the Devil” viewpoint he is actually making the worst mistake, because if you do not reflect you can end up doing evil and letting “the Devil” win while thinking you are doing gods work, since half-truths and lies that sound better then reality are some of evil’s best tools, just look at Fox News…

    2. Sanity

      Back when I was in high school a few years ago I never really experienced homophobia outside of bullying, though at the time I thought it was typical bullying. I also didn’t really get online much at the time, so the world outside of my little town and the snippets of tv news I saw was a great big fog of mystery.

      Being gay seemed as though it was such a normal thing. I was able to talk about my boyfriend, much like people talk about their girlfriends or wives, without people glancing at me sideways or getting ‘weirded out’. I was never congratulated on being brave and accepting myself for who I was or whatever, either. It was all just as if this had always been normal forever.

      The internet, however, has done wonders to make me start questioning humanity, which is always nice. Finding out that homophobia was a widespread and rampant thing, even in other parts of New Zealand, had me questioning what was wrong with our town for a little while until it was explained to me how homophobes are almost exactly like racists; which in turn made me question what was wrong with the rest of the world.

      Even since moving to Australia I’ve not witnessed homophobia. A few insults slung about here and there, but nothing seriously damaging. Personally for me, people like Ross astound me. It makes me wonder how they can say there’s something wrong with another person just because they like the same sex, or both or whatever it is they like. If they don’t like making babies there’s clearly something wrong with them, they’re not human, there’s evil inside them, they must be cleansed, etc etc.

      Granted, because of all this, I assume I’ve lived a fairly sheltered life, in terms of being able to express my attraction of men at least. Seeing things like this makes me wonder though, is America (and possibly the rest of the world, most homophobia I see on the internet is American) all about making sure everyone is the exact same as everyone else or have I just happened to live in the two most accepting places possible and being different is actually somewhat bad?

      Side note: I hope all that made sense. I have a tendency to ramble and talk in circles.

      1. Cybersnark

        Your last point kinda cuts to the heart of it; the USA was founded on (among others) the principle of a “melting pot” –every race, creed, or philosophy is welcomed, with the understanding that they’d assimilate and all become one big homogenous family. That philosophy has (consciously or not) become a key part of American culture; American children are constantly taught that “deep down, we’re all the same.”

        In theory, this is meant to stamp out prejudice and bigotry, but it completely falls apart when confronted with someone who isn’t the same. Anything that doesn’t follow the majority is wrong by definition, and needs to be corrected –because the person in question will be happier once they become Like Us.

        It also lends to that paranoid mindset that someone is trying to “turn everyone Gay/minority/female/secular/Muslim” –because anything that applies to one person has to apply to everyone, that’s just How Things Are. Because the US is ruled by white cishet male Christians, everybody has to play by the white cishet male Christian rules, or the whole system falls apart.

      2. LiamKav

        “Even since moving to Australia I’ve not witnessed homophobia. A few insults slung about here and there, but nothing seriously damaging.”

        On the other hand, same-sex marriage is illegal in Australia. 70% of Australians think tha youth sports teams are an unsafe place for LBGT people (www.buzzfeed.com/lanesainty/14-facts-about-homophobia-in-australian-sport#.juBa3bDXK)…

        It’s pretty common for people to look at the situation around them, and assume that what they experience applies to the whole country. In the UK you’d get a very different idea of how accepted homosexuality is if you grew up in Manchester City Center compared to a small farming village in Wales. America does not have a monopoly on homophobia.

    3. Incomitatus

      No, Usayasha, he’s pretty normal to me, too. I grew up in Indiana. Folks like him are a dime a dozen there.

      However, I’ve lived two other places (Scotland and Tahoe) and I can’t recall meeting his type at all in either locale.

    4. ICSM

      The homophobes where I live are more likely to say things like “i’m not a homophobe, but I think gay couples should be as discreet as possible, and never show affection in public. What if they are seen holding hands by innocent children? That would be terible!”

    5. EvolutionistX

      Most of the parts of the country with relatively dense populations are very, very different from most of Texas.

      Consider moving! There might be better places 🙂

      1. Anywhere

        Definitely there are places where people like this are not typical, and places where this is entirely normal. Bigotry is everywhere, but it has different flavors in different regions in the USA, and some are more tolerable. I can imagine you know a lot of folks like Ross in Texas & this is normal to you – but this is not normal to a lot of other places.

        People like Ross definitely exist – sometimes even WORSE – when Ross says he’s “a compassionate man” it means that there are people even less compassionate than him. Parents he knows in his situation would just disown a child like Becky and never spoke to them again – but he still cares & is probably afraid of losing her, especially since his wife is dead and he has no other children.

        Unfortunately, his way of caring is entirely, thoroughly, 100% incorrect, because he thinks she has a disease[rehabilitation?]/is literally taking direction from Satan. He’s acting accordingly for everything he knows (everything he knows is wrong). The road to Hell is paved with good intentions by people who think they’re going to Heaven.

    6. MF

      Well, it’s quite the opposite for me, it’s interesting to see someone can relate to this experience. He sounds like such a fake, impossible character, it’s hard for me to fit him in the universe of otherwise well-rounded, 3D people. My first reaction was “who talks like that?!”. Then I had to leave prejudices aside and not consider him merely exaggerated for comic purpose when I remembered Joyce’s parents, & that Willis has mentionsed talking from experience.

      I’ve never lived outside Europe, and it’s true that most of my circles are LGBT friendly (or rather, incusive). Still, even the most religious people I know here in Spain don’t talk this way in public, even if they do believe it, because it would definitely be frowned upon. Then again, gay marriage has been legal here for a decade.

      In other countries I’ve lived in, Norway and Scotland, the same would happen, people would be scandalised at this kind of speech. Anyone letting religion rule their life (and others’) would be considered old-fashioned and more than a little ridiculous. There are still inflexible people, the church has an amazing amount of money and power, and worryingly, there is a definite rightish trend in most of the central European political parties (the ones I’m familiar with), but never would I fathom this “normal” in my world.

      I hope you manage to find a place where this is not considered so, too. Best of luck!

    7. Jen

      Part of my vitriol for him stems from how he was in the Joyce and Walky comic. I’ve seen a lot more of him, and so far this universe’s version hasn’t redeemed him, in my eyes. Also, even though he sounds somewhat reasonable (but misguided and close-minded) here, his reaction of taking his daughter out of school and my speculation on the measures he’s likely to take in order to “fix” his daughter are fueling my toedad hate-fire.

    8. Jen

      Oh, and in answer to the other part of your question, yes, there are people like that around where I live (Toledo, Ohio. We’re about an hour south of Detroit) but either

      A) they are outnumbered by more reasonable types and therefore are more circumspect because they know they’re in the minority or

      B) I’ve just managed to surround myself by non-homophobes at my work, friends, family, and social activities.

      And though we do have fundamentalist religious people here, there are definitely a lot less than in some other areas of the country I’ve visited. Ohio can be conservative, but (at least in the larger urban areas) we’re not *that* conservative.

    9. RedFloyd

      Homophobia as I grew up with is was kids calling stuff gay, and the odd bigot or two that everybody shunned. Also had a gay mayor for the past 5 years. (He might get voted out over his comments against medical marijuana, since they pissed off a lot of veterans.)
      I forget how much ahead of a lot of the states we are sometimes.

      1. RedFloyd

        Forgot to mention I’m from Canada. We just need to catch up to Washington

        1. Marie

          I made a similar comment, and I’m from BC. Interesting to see another Canadian overlap a bit.

    10. Mister President

      I live in an area that is incredibly liberal, arguably to a fault. Not only are LGBT folk widely accepted, the community as a whole will really villify people who aren’t so accepting of them. I’ve always seen characters like Ross as very very extreme charicatures of “bible thumpers.” While I’m aware that people like this do exist, I have no experience with people who are even just homophobic in general, so Ross is very alien to me. But because of the same reasons I can’t really pour much hatred out for him like some commenters because I really can only see him as a charicature with really intentionally exaggerated qualities to provoke a negative response.

      1. nightsbridge

        David Willis comes from a extremely fundamentalist fundie family. I fear that this is all too accurate.

    11. Marie

      There are awful people here, but for the most part they are societally regarded as pretty awful, not normal. Although I know of people like this, mostly in the US, and my fundie pro lifer cousins may also be like this less overtly, I cannot fathom it as ‘normal,’ and I grew up in one of the most old people per capita areas in Canada. Going ‘I don’t get why those gays have to be so obvious about it’ is the most ‘normal’ homophobic behaviour I can think of, and even that is considered pretty stupid and not just by young liberals. Ross as a real person who is not avoided by literally everyone (even if/though they don’t yet know about potential abuse and PATG camp) is unfathomable to me.

    12. Lord Stoneheart

      I think the reason people are responding with such vitriol is because his beliefs means he has a fate in mind for a main character. And that involves reparative therapy, which has been shown to be not just ineffective but incredibly dangerous to the mental health of the people who go through it. He seems adamant on this point, which is why Becky ran away from him. That’s why I think most people (myself included) don’t think he’s harmless.

    13. Agemegos

      I live in Australia. Religion like Ross’s isn’t common here. Homophobia exists but is different: 72% of Australians polled think same-sex marriage ought to be legal, but our politicians are more conservative than the populace at large and won’t allow it.

    14. Bagge

      I live in a pretty tolerant community so a vocal homophobe like Ross would stick out like a sore thumb. I know people like him exist of course, but they are not the everymen.

      But more to the point, we have got to know Becky this last half a year and we know the plight she is in. I think she’s all kinds of awesome and the thought of the being in the power of this asshole is sickening. Of course these people are only fictional, but they serve as examples and inspirtation.

  108. Coco Pommel

    I’ve been watching a lot of the blacklist lately. In my alternate Headcanon, from here, Dina leads him to the second story of the mall, and then pushes him over a railing while making it look like an accident.

  109. Bagge

    Apart from everything else – the idea of JOYCE being the one getting BECKY in trouble is pretty hilarious.

    1. nightsbridge

      I KNOW

  110. Foolong

    Pokemansaurus

  111. Shadow12000

    Current generation old people are now people who played the original pokemon when they were young adults…so yes, because of stupid irony, they still call it pokemans.

    1. bunivasal

      “Old people” depends on your definition. First-generation pokemon players are entering their thirties. Ross, however, is probably in his early forties (the average age for someone with an 18 year old daughter is 42).

      So he was probably in his 20s when Pokemon came out, and he doesn’t seem like the sort of person who would hop onto a nerdy popular trend like Pokemon as a twenty-something. Odds are he’d be a pinky-toe shaped crusader against the franchise in the vein of Jerry Falwell and all those people who burned Pokemon merchandise in barbecues.

      1. LiamKav

        Lots of teenagers played Pokemon, so I’d say “entering their thirties” is probably skewing a little young. But Ross also strikes me as someone who would have never played video games because they were the devil’s toy. He could be 36 and I’d still expect him to get the name wrong.

  112. Phlebas

    People seem to have missed a key piece of information here. Becky’s mother passed last year – that means Ross is SINGLE!

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      Thats right ladies he’s single!

      1. Gigafreak

        More importantly, that means nobody will miss him when we…

        …err…

        …offer him a paid vacation to Paris?

    2. Captain Batson

      Yeah, Becky mentioned that a while ago, rather off-handedly when Ethan asked about her parents.

  113. darkoneko

    Uh. Mall are open on sundays in the US ? 😮

    1. Arturo

      They’re also open on Sundays here in Mexico. In fact, I’m a bit surprised there are places where they don’t open that day. One would imagine the weekend to be their best selling days.

      1. Darkoneko

        By law, all buisness are closed in France on sunday (exception for “alimentary” buisnesses like bakery for the morning)

    2. Gigafreak

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_laws_in_the_United_States#New_Jersey
      There’s only one region left in the United States that outright closes malls on Sundays rather than just restricts certain sales.

    3. Rebecca

      Most places are open Sundays in the US. I worked at a Christian bookstore that was even open on Sundays lol.

    4. Marie

      Pretty much everywhere that isn’t a small business is open sundays here (western Canada), at least retail and restaurant wise.

  114. MF

    I’ve spent all morning wondering what a “pokeman” was. I finally went “oooohkay” just now.
    Also, wow. It is a wonder Becky is so… herself, with a father like this.
    Thank you for another strip, Mr W, from yet another who follows and loves your work.

  115. Mr. Morningstar

    Go dina give him false leads!

    though knowing willis dina will return and Joyce will tell Dina that Becky went to the mall and many a skyward scream shouting Willis name will be heard.

    1. Gigafreak

      Becky’s gonna go shopping! So, what’s the current exchange rate from sauce packets to US Dollars?

  116. darkflame

    At a certain age people (by which I mean older parents) will find it funny to deliberately miss-pronounce their childs videogames.
    They well know its pokemon, but its more fun to say it other ways.

    1. DSL

      I doubt Toedad finds much funny. In fact, I doubt he even has the concept.

      1. sjmcc13

        Laughter is the devils medicine…

  117. Sigurther

    Keep making comments like that, Toenail, and you’ll be lucky if there’s a cuticle left for future paleontologists to dig up.

  118. ZORK

    Man, Toedad sure gives me with every single appearance more and more reasons to totally loathe him.

    Though I wonder what exactly Dina is playing at?

  119. arias01

    Peter looks like he’s about to do something courageous.

  120. Twilightomens

    Pokemen and pokewomen

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      Toedad does not approve of the pokemen and pokewomen is for the confines of marriage…

  121. Tobias

    Toedad sounds like a Pokemon name.

    Heck, for all I know it is one, I stopped paying attention somewhere around Black/White.

  122. Rob G

    This whole comic should just be renamed “Parents Are The Worst”

    1. Cerberus

      I dunno, Sierra’s and Dorothy’s parents seem pretty cool and supportive.

    2. kelticat

      But then Sierra’s and Dorothy’s parents would be the exception to the rule.
      Oh wait, they already are the exceptions to the rule.

  123. Jen

    Bwahahahaha!!! I actually laughed out loud at the “I like you very much” line. XD It’s a good think I have my own office at work or coworkers may have stared at me. 😉

  124. LordHaw

    The sad part here is that Ross means well, from his point of view. I am sure he loves his daughter but I can’t fathom how you can have your mind bent by religion to the point where you will intentionally cause harm to those you love in the name of “helping them”. And I grew up in a fairly fundamentalist household.

    Thank God I rejected all that fundamentalist crap. Yes, I am thanking God for rejecting religion but I believe in God, not all the religious crap that we weigh the concept of God down with.

    Anyway, go Dina!!

    1. Cybersnark

      “God save us from Your servants.”

    2. Tony

      Being concerned for his daughter isn’t an excuse for insulting the clothing choice of the person helping him out, though. That’s just Toedad being a douche for no reason other than because.

  125. Alexx

    My favorite part about this guy is that his mouth doesn’t open when he talks. I imagine his words tumble out of his general face area in gruff mumbles.

  126. Edupoet81

    I don’t know that Dina would be bringing Toedad all the way to the mall. She could just point him in the right direction. Or better yet, she could point him in entirely the wrong direction. Does Bloomington, Indiana have a Museum of Natural History?

    It does seem that Dina will encounter Becky soon, as she’s in this preview panel for August 9th. http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/118118430291/itswalky-august-9
    From the look on Becky’s face there, I would guess Dina just warned her that her father is looking for her.

    I don’t think it was mentioned before that Becky’s mother had passed away so recently. I’d had it in my head that Becky had grown up with just Toedad. Apparently, she did have a mother through most of her childhood.

    Also, I think everyone’s being too hard on Toedad. Clearly, the man is delirious as a result of being slowly but surely consumed by his mustache. The mustache has already consumed his neck, and his mouth. Before long, all that will be left of him will be a giant mustache. Dina, you better lead him far, far away from civilization before The Giant Mustache terrorizes the whole campus!

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      I think it’s a new kind of parasitic bat, replacing his mustache in the same way that a certain kind of worm replaces a fish’s tongue. Only I feel bad for the bat and it’s lot in life and not so much for the worm.

      1. Agemegos

        It’s an isopod, a crustacean. Cymothoa exigua

  127. Lulu

    This comic really needs some new good kind of parents to balance things out.

    1. Spencer

      The Keeners are almost comically loving and supportive, though that’s probably because they’re next to the Walkertons, the Wilcoxen and the Browns.

      Otherwise the Snows, the Warners and the Saruyamas seem pretty nice.

      1. LiamKav

        Also, a comic where the kids with nice parents come visit and they just sit there and are nice and everyone has a lovely time would be a bit dull.

    2. Cerberus

      Well, so far we have 2 sets of parents that really go out of their way to do right and be supportive (Dorothy’s and Sierra’s), 2 parents that really go out of their way to fuck over their kids because of their control issues (Becky’s and Amber’s dads), and a bunch of parents that meet the minimum standard of not being Amber’s dad or Toedad level of awful but have their shitty or commonly abusive elements in ways that are more socially approved (Danny’s parents undermining his confidence because marrying young was important to them, Walky and Sal’s mum, etc…).

      Sadly this feels pretty true to life.

      1. Spencer

        Yeah, I think it’s extremely important to highlight abusers like Blaine and Ross, but showing the casually abusive behaviour of the Walkertons and the Wilcoxen is just as meaningful. I don’t think either set of them are irredeemably terrible parents, but the pain they inflict on their kids is no less real, and I think a lot of the confusion over “how bad” they are comes from us being so used to very loudly, vocally abusive parents like Blaine in fiction.

        1. Cerberus

          100% agree

        2. Marie

          Can you say more about the Walkertons? Other than the casual racism toward Sal (and I guess potentially what led her to robbing a convenience store) I’m not sure what there is, and that part was off camera.

        3. Spencer

          The casual racism is what I was referring to. They neglected Sal and babied Walky. They let Sal “do her own thing” without any comment or concern, but go into fits at the prospect of their son having a girlfriend. They went straight to Walky’s room without checking on their daughter, and when she was in their presence her mother completely ignored her while her father told her how she’s so pretty when her hair is long and straight, ie: when it’s white.

          An important indicator of this was Walky’s flashback to when Linda chose him to act in Hymmel when there was only one part available. She wanted both of her children to have the opportunity but when she had to choose she went with Walky. I don’t doubt that they are completely ignorant of their behaviour and do genuinely love their daughter, but that’s what happened.

        4. sjmcc13

          That could also be sexism, and nor racism. There is a bit of history in favouring your sons over your daughters, possibly due to wanting to carry on the family name…

        5. Spencer

          It’s been confirmed both in and out of comic to be over racial preferences.

        6. C Baker

          It could be, but think about what Walky said when asked if he was black. “My sister is black, but I’m generically brown” (or words to that effect). He may not have realized it, but it sure sounds like internalized racism to me.

        7. Marie

          Thank you! Wasn’t sure if there was more I missed and either way it is helpful to see it itemized a bit more

    3. Moonshine McGee

      Daddy without the issues ain’t good television, esse.

  128. Joe

    To be fair Mr. Ross, you’re not in church on a Sunday morning either.

    1. RedFloyd

      He would probably try to bullshit the lost sheep parable in response to that.

    2. DSL

      Observing the rules yourself is not nearly as important as forcing other people to observe them.

      1. m2iCodeJockey

        +1

  129. Oddball

    I once had someone at work say they could see the darkness within me and that I should come to their baptist church. Unfortunately I “soon” quit that job and move on to another job. Soon after that, I created a Shadowrun character who was a necromancer, whooopsieees!

    1. Fellstrike

      Oh man, I kinda want to make a Mr Johnson who introduces himself like that. “I see the darkness of your souls, are you perhaps runners?”

    2. Pat

      I don’t see how those are related.

    3. Deanatay

      Does Shadowrun still have Christianity? All the religious people I remember from that universe are neo-pagans…

  130. Kitschensyngk

    Umm, I believe the correct term is “Poke-person.”

  131. Jack

    I love how in Ross’s world not only has Becky been corrupted by evil but none of it is his fault. He genuinely believes that her being gay is a choice that she’s made but that he, as her father, has not impacted that choice at all.

  132. Sensei Le Roof

    Ohhhh come on come on come on come on tell me that last bit is an MST3K reference…

  133. Plume

    I’m trying to figure out what Dina’s endgame here is. *sigh* I have no choice. *decides to reread entire archive to try and guess what trap Dina could be luring him into at the mall*

    1. sjmcc13

      you could also back the patreon, and see what she does tomorrow now, as it might give you a clue as to her plan…

    2. Deanatay

      “I saw your daughter, right in here…”

      *leads Ross into Discovery Store*

      “Wha? This place… the SCIENCE… IT BURNNSSS!!”

      *Dina escapes thru back as Ross writhes in agony*

    3. Tony

      Well obviously it involves luring the prey to the location where the rest of the raptor pack is located.

      1. Plume

        best answers ever

        1. Plume

          …especially the one involving the discovery store 😀

  134. Pat

    You are also not at church, worshiping the Lord.

    (Spellcheck suggestion: horsewhipping)

  135. kirbilius clausius

    What good is knowing Amazi-Girl’s secret identity if you can’t say “I need to tell my boyfriend that I am leaving.” and then tell Danny to notify her of another villain? Dina is turning into Amazi-Girl’s Foggy Nelson.

    1. Moonshine McGee

      Well, for one thing, toeface hasn’t gotten violent or made overtures of violence yet, and he is searching for a missing person. His only transgression thus far is having terrible opinions and no tact.

      1. segnosaur

        Some might consider his statement about correcting her “by any means necessary” as alluding to some sort of physical or emotional abuse (either by himself, or whatever religious “pray the gay away” nutjobs he hands her over to.)

      2. Gangler

        I mean, you’re being very generous if you don’t interpret “Any means necessary” as including violent means.

        But that aside Amazigirl tackles lots of nonviolent problems. She’ll intervene with graffiti artists for example. She also tackles problems that haven’t yet turned physically violent, like when she intervened with that dude who was following a woman despite the fact that his company was clearly unwelcome. Trying to find a young woman who doesn’t wanna be found is well within Amazigirl’s domain of pain.

        1. Moonshine McGee

          “Rehabilitate” strongly implies he’s intent on sending her to a PATG camp, not beating her. I’ll grant that the two aren’t mutually exclusive, but keep in mind, this is someone Joyce’s parents presumably met and and of whom they presumably approve.

          He has yet to give overt signals of physical violence in Dina’s presence, and it’s not like Dina actually wants Ross to find Becky right now. Getting Amber involved would needlessly complicate the situation, and getting Amber involved in a way that wouldn’t A) tip Dina’s hand to Ross, or B) actively impede Dina’s goals would be problematic for someone of limited social graces.

        2. segnosaur

          Remember, Joyce’s parents aren’t exactly bastions of forward-thinking sensibility. (Remember, Joyce was shocked to learn of the problems gay teens can face). Its possible that either her parents would approve of a ‘pray the gay away’ program that was abusive (all in the name of ‘saving’ somebody), or just don’t know any better.

  136. Alice

    Wait, Becky’s mom is dead? But in the beginning of the year Joyce said Becky’s parents – plural – were making her go to Anderson. Is toedad lying about her mom?

    1. segnosaur

      I think its reasonable to assume her mom really is dead (since we didn’t see her in the flashback when Becky is picked up at Anderson, and it does seem like a rather unnecessary lie to make). It may just be a bit of poetic license by Toehead… her mom wanted becky to go to Anderson when she was a kid.

      Not that I’m defending Toehead… he’s a scumbag. But in this issue I don’t think he’s to blame.

  137. feli

    I’m too lazy to read all the comments but I just found out where Becky got her rad looks from!

  138. Roborat

    Ironically, they will wind up running into Becky at the mall. This is a Sir Willis webcomic, after all.

  139. kimmibeans

    Have I mentioned that I love Dina? Because I love Dina so much. So very, very much.

  140. Ross Vernal

    Spiderman, spiderman…

  141. drai

    Well, that answers my question about why no one has gone to class in months- time moves so (necessarily) slowly in the dumbiverse that I forgot we were still in the weekend!

  142. captainswift

    Well, I’m old and I pronounce Pokemon as correctly as a Southern boy can.

  143. B.D

    …Huh. On a second reading, it occurs to me that Ross hasn’t actually referenced what it is about Becky that he thinks needs “correcting”. We’re supposed to infer that it’s her newfound lesbianism, but… he might just be an anti-premarital sex zealot.

    (“Sex Zealot” is now the name of my band.)

    He’s used some really… odd word choices, to the point that I find it hard to believe Becky could have grown up as (relatively) normal as she is. _Sexuality_ requires a …role model? Is that something people actually think?

    The situation goes way deeper than what’s just on the surface and what Becky has said (I’m still not convinced she’s a “reliable narrator”), and I’m looking forward to seeing just what exactly is going on.

    1. sjmcc13

      We do not know what becky’s mother was like, but I get the feeling she was becky primary influence growing up. though the female role model would likely have been filled with the mothers of Becky’s close friends *chough*Mrs. Brown*chough* over the last year, so he is wrong on that part.
      On not saying Lesbianism, that is the most likely problem for him to correct, and he might realize the “godless heathens” will not help him if he says that is what he needs to fix. But if it was just the premarital naked fun times, he could easily have taken other steps, as putting up the posters likely means he thinks Joyce knows where Becky is and not telling, but if he just wants to find her, and not send her off for brainwashing then he could easily call Joyce explain what is what, and she would tell the truth.

    2. C Baker

      _Sexuality_ requires a …role model? Is that something people actually think?

      A lot of people don’t really grasp that there is a distinction between sexuality, gender identity, and gender expression.

      1. Lord Stoneheart

        I’ve heard of people (mostly fundies) blaming homosexuality in males on an absent father figure. (It’s bullshit of course, but that doesn’t stop people from trying). If Ross believes that, it’s not a huge jump in logic to blame his daughter being a lesbian is because she doesn’t have a mother figure anymore.

        1. sjmcc13

          Allot of people( especially conservatives from my experience) try to blame traits they do hate on things they do not like. As if they are trying to justify their hate for both. It is easier to pass a snap judgement then to actually do the work.

        2. vlademir1

          Well that was a fairly prevalent theory in psychology… about 70 years ago, which oft seems to be the most advanced era of science most fundies I’ve met are willing to accept as valid outside of the information tech sector.

  144. Eric

    I think I’ve met this guy. My response has been to not make eye contact and back away slowly.

  145. Losloslos

    Willis, you have made me a very happy man with this Dina heavy arc. Thank you. Thank you.

  146. FuryOfFirestorm

    No, she is a PokeWOMAN. Get your pronouns right, you asshole!

  147. Anna

    The thing that makes this man so utterly detestable is the fact that he truly and sincerely believes that his actions are good, right and just.

    1. vlademir1

      I’d say that is, rather, what makes him pitiable. His ignorance is of such a level that he is ignorant of his own depth of ignorance and the effects such ignorance has on those around him.

  148. Tony

    Yeah, real swell guy there, that Toedad. Passively insult the one person who is helping (well, “helping”) you find your daughter. I mean, at least being an ignorant douchebag about everything else can at least be justified by your upbringing, but now you’re just being a dick.

    Also I have a feeling that if Dina replies with an “No, I’m not dressed as a Pokemon, I’m dressed as a dinosaur” it’ll freak Toedad out even more because ZOMG EVOLUSHON

    Dina is still absolutely AWEOSME though and that’s all that mattters.

  149. John Madden

    Some people on the intertubes use ‘pokeymans’ jokingly.

  150. HiiroArana79

    Um, I hate Rebecca but her dad being Super Mario is cool. Its not surprising he would show up for free pizza.

  151. Richard

    Am I the only one who imagines Becky’s dad sounding like Zachary Comstock?

  152. OmegaDez

    Becky’s Dad doesn’t have a mouth D:

  153. kkiten

    anyone who pronounces Pokemon wrong is unworthy of my full attention.

  154. Quinn

    Up until this point, I was hopeful that Becky’s dad wasn’t all bad. That he really just wants what he feels is best for his daighter. And disagree with his methods all I liked, but he still loves her.

    But then he compared Pokemon to devil worship. Yehhh…….. Dina, you get Toedad good an’ lost in that mall, ya’ hear?

    1. TheGrumpyBear

      Murder is an acceptable option. Of him. More a mercy killing, really.

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